BLISS FEBUARY 2015.cdr - Love Dating & Marriage

J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 5 E D I T I O N
Happy new year everyone. Wow! 2015 just sounds soo Good in my spirit. The truth is this is our Good
Year where only Good Things are happening to us. A er a wonderful FORWARD 2014, its mind
blowing that our Father wants to sa sfy our mouth with more and more good things.
S ll talking about good things, a few days back we celebrated the Birthday of a Good Man of God,
Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo: a gi and a great blessing to our genera on. In this edi on of Bliss, we
inserted a few of his rela onship transforming words.
So, back to our ini al theme and I ask, what's that good thing you want in your rela onship this year?
Do you want to build great friendships, enter into a purposeful courtship or desire to get married to
your best friend? You may be seeking healing for your marriage or just want to strengthen your
already sweet marriage. Whatever it is, just trust God to bring it to pass this year. Trust Him... And
keep a ending LDM.
At today's Love, Da ng and Marriage, the very first for this year, we'd be ge ng the COMMON SENSE
GUIDE TO DATING. Of course, you don't need me to tell you that it is going to be a memorable and
fun learning me; but I s ll will. So keep your heart open and your mind alert for how to apply the
lessons learnt.
Don't forget to send tes monies of how LDM or reading BLISS has blessed your
rela onships/marriage to [email protected].
7 MISTAKES SINGLE LADIES MAKE
JUST US GIRLS
WORDS LEARNT FROM PASTOR KINGSLEY OKONKWO
UPCOMING EVENTS
LDM REVIEW
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The December 2014 Edi on was super interes ng and insigh ul.
Our very own Mama, Pastor Mildred taught on the 7 mistakes
single ladies make. Now single here refers to anybody who is
unmarried whether you are in a rela onship or not. The men also
learnt though the topic was more tuned to women.
She started by saying God is interested in mentoring
rela onships. In Titus 2: 3-4; older women are encouraged to
teach the younger women to love their husbands and children.
God believes if you are mentored, you will not make the same
mistake your mentor made and He will prepare you for the
blessing your mentor is already experiencing. The truth is people
do be er when they know be er. Some mes we might not know
we are doing something wrong which is the reason it is important
for us to be honest and examine ourselves a er hearing this so we
can change. Here are some of the major mistakes single ladies
make:
1. Being desperate.
Once you are desperate you make wrong choices. Men can smell
despera on from a mile away and tend to take advantage of it. A
desperate woman will accept anything at all in a rela onship. A
woman is a kingmaker, she is a helpmeet; that's how important a
woman is. Marriage is good but it is be er if the man does the
chasing. Don't propose to a man. People might say things have
changed. "Gone are the days…" Times may have changed but the
bible has not changed. Despera on is actually a sign of a lack of
faith. Relax and trust God.
2. Compromising
Marriage is not a des na on but a journey. A lot of people
change, compromise, bend themselves backward just for
marriage. Don't compromise your walk with Jesus just to walk
down the aisle. Marriage is not worth throwing away your des ny
for. Again you do not have the power to change a man; it is only
God that has the capacity to change someone.
w w w . d a v i d s c h r i s t i a n c e n t r e . o r g
3. Unrealis c Lists
This is very common among single Chris an ladies. Some ladies
have an unrealis c list of the man they want to marry. God never
does anything in finished form. God will always give you
something in seed form. The kind of man God will bring your way
is probably not finished work yet. What most single ladies are
looking for are
married men ; the
re s u l t o f a n o t h e r
woman's work.
Marriage is an
a s s i g n m e n t . Yo u r
work is to get him to
his des ny; the plan
God has for him.
4. Single ladies see
men as trees
Most single ladies are
seeing their husbands
but not recognizing
him. Most ladies tag
some of their very
good male friends
'bes e' even when
they give them hints. Don't beli le the men around you. Don't
underes mate them. He might be small now, but one day he will
be great. He might just be a prince now but once you marry him
he becomes a king. Remember a virtuous woman is a crown to
her husband. Pray that you see men as men and not as trees.
5. Premarital sex
A lot of single ladies think if they have sex with a man he will marry
them which is definitely not true. God created your body to be
dessert and not appe zer. If you give a man sex before marriage it
becomes a case of “why buy the cow when the milk is free?”
Having sex with a man will not change his mind towards marrying
you. When God says don't have sex before marriage, He is
protec ng you. In a man's world sex is not equated to love. Let
him have something to look forward to. Sex before marriage is a
sin even if you are in love.
6. Figh ng everybody when you want to get married
Some single ladies no longer listen to their friends, parents or
even pastors when they want to get married. Everybody but the
man becomes the enemy. People who have loved you all the
while can't suddenly be against you when you want to get
married if something is not wrong. People who watch over you
can see things which you will probably never see. Do counseling
before you get married. People ahead of you can tell you what to
expect so you can preserve your des ny. If they say don't marry
him, find out why. The world cannot be against you.
7. Focusing on wedding rather than marriage
All some single ladies dream about is the wedding instead of the
marriage. A lot of people focus on the roman c side and forget
about the reality of marriage. Marriage is work. Marriage has
responsibili es. The wedding is one day while marriage is forever.
Ask yourself if you are ready for the work, ready to nurture,
forgive, sacrifice, submit, etc. Invest in your marriage. Instead of
planning a wedding, plan your marriage.
One of the ways to begin inves ng in your marriage is to get this
en re message as well as other messages and books on
rela onships. Remember, you can have the marriage of your
dreams.
Pastor Mildred Kingsley- Okonkwo
Editor-in-Chief
Bose Samuel Udeme.
Ajiro Asagbra
Editors
Kolade Bamkefa
Fehintoluwa Adebanjo
Nonye Uhegwu
Funmi Susan Job
Jeremiah Paul
Favour Musa
Joy Obiyan
Adaobi Ifedirah
Shola Igbalode
Kelechi Oparah
Johnson Madichie
Kelechi C. Ikpe
Olusegun Serrano
Emmanuella Samuel
Lester Ugo
Adetola Adeyinka
Ngozi Ilondu
Ifeoma Aziken
Ubong Inyang
LAUGHING
OUT LOUD
VALENTINE'S DREAM.
A woman woke up with a start in the
morning and told her husband, "I just
had a dream, and in it you gave me a pearl
necklace for Valentine's day. What do
you think it means?".
"You'll know tonight." he said.
That evening, the man came home with a
small package and gave it to his wife.
Delighted she hurriedly opened it to find
a book titled "The meaning of dreams".
…NOT SO COMMON AFTER ALL
Valentine
Fever
F
Just Us Girls
ebruary the 14th. For some a
fantas c day, probably their
most roman c day ever
especially for the ladies with all
those cards, chocolates, candy,
cakes and cuddly teddy bears all
over the place. Okay maybe the guys
get to spend a lot of money so they
may not be so passionate about
Valen ne's Day but every female I
know whether she's 13 or 30 is
talking about Valen ne's Day
because they know they will either
get something sweet to eat, smell,
like or cuddle. So what happens to
the lady who somehow gets passed
up? Especially if all her friends got a
cake or a bo le of perfume or worse
s ll (for her, that is) an engagement
ring. How do we deal with this
valen ne issue that burns in the
average girl's heart like a fever?
does a 13 year old know about love
or valen ne? Yet go to the average
secondary school boy and he is
probably planning to spend your
monthly salary equivalent on
ge ng a gi for the girl he likes
whom he has probably never
spoken to just to impress her. She
then grows up expec ng that this
should happen for her ll she dies
and if it doesn't it becomes a
problem and she thinks what is
wrong with me?
Being idle or a lack of vision is
another major problem. Once you
find purpose as a single person
being alone on Valen ne's Day will
be the very least of all your
problems. Find something to do;
something to live for and you will
discover that it is very possible to be
alone and yet not lonely. Whether
or not someone takes you out on
the 14th will cease to be an issue
because you will be so passionate
about what it is you were born to do
that such distrac ons will be a thing
of the past. Besides, you and a
couple of your single friends can
take your selves out. Go watch a
movie, go on a picnic, do whatever
just be sure to stay happy. You don't
have to wait around for someone to
take you out. Live life to the fullest
and enjoy being you, enjoy being
alive. Besides by the 15th, it will be
just another day. Valen ne would
be over and just to show you how
insignificant it can be, It is not even a
public holiday.
Are you now somehow less of a
woman because it seems like every
man on the face of the earth
suddenly needs to get glasses? You
begin to ask yourself “what is wrong
with me?” and possibly even begin
to believe that there is something
really wrong with you. That's when
the real issues now set in. You start
by feeling insecure, then you get
depressed, then jealousy starts,
then you have serious self esteem
problems. This is one of the biggest
problems that women ever face:
The ba le of iden ty. We allow the
things that happen to us to define
who we are forge ng that we are
worth more than we can ever know.
I mean, it cost Jesus his life to
redeem us why do we think that a -(from the Book Just Us Girls by
N 2 0 0 0 c a k e s h o u l d m a k e a Pastor Mildred Kingsley –Okonkwo)
difference?
Another reason why not ge ng a
valen ne is such a big issue is
because we have trained ourselves
to believe that this is the norm
because of the novels and movies
we grow up watching. I mean what
The day I met him remains vivid in my
memory. Maxwell was standing right
with a group of people at a mutual friends'
birthday get-together. I did not pay any
particular attention to him until towards
the end of the party when he came over to
chat me up. He was really cool and
sounded like a good guy. We exchanged
contacts we kept talking from there. Three
months after we met, he told me he would
like to start a relationship with me. I
agreed after taking some time to think
about it. I was 23 years.
would do so as soon as he settles some
things in his 'hustle' – as he calls it. I did
not want to continue asking in order not to
be a nuisance to him. I believed him. He
loved me. That was more than enough for
me.
Well, it's being Seven good years since
that day that we first met. Right here
displaying on my phone is the message he
sent me yesterday. Maxwell says he wants
to move on as he feels the relationship is
not working. Besides, he says it will take
him more time to get himself 'set up'
Well, all has not been rosy. I discovered enough financially to be able to get
M a x c o u l d b e q u i t e a g g r e s s i v e married. He is planning to leave the
sometimes. He raises his voice and gets country and will be off in a matter of days.
belligerent when he is angry. I was
surprised the first day he hit me, though he Sitting before a counselor for the first
profusely apologized after that. However, time, he asks, Jane, what were you
he has done same like three other times thinking all the while'? 'Why did you keep
and has apologized on every occasion. quiet about your relationship until now'?
Tough, I was really sad every time this 'Why did you choose to go on when he
happened; I however believed that men didn't commit to a time to get married to
could be aggressive. Besides, I was quite you'?
silly myself on some of those occasions. I
believed he was going to stop or minimize
his aggression if I behaved myself well Truth be told, I didn't think this over
properly( I loved him and he loved me, I
enough.
didn't think anything could go wrong), I
didn't get knowledge, I didn't seek
Maxwell had repeatedly told me that I counsel. My resolve, it's not late, I will
was his exact kind of woman and he was start all over again with God, and I will do
looking forward to the day he would it right with His wisdom by my side. I
marry me. I have asked him a couple of will get messages and this time do what it
times for when he intends to tie the knot says and I know I will meet that good man
and he has continued to assure me that he God has for me.
Happy birthday to a great teacher, God's servant, our marriage mentor,
our Love, Dating and Marriage host, our very own Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo.
We love, appreciate and celebrate you Sir.
You can't marry someone not
spiritually compa ble with you and
this goes beyond just being born
again-V.M
One major lesson... It will be the
realiza on that you can't change a man.
PK pointed out: "think about how long it
takes you to change a habit, and you
seriously think you can change another
man?" Marriage does not change
anyone. -N.I
Marriage is about what you can
give, not what you can get. Imagine
how sweet marriage will be when
both par es are only concerned
about the other! Wow. That's a huge
lesson.
~ Mayowa O.
A good marriage, one that is
enjoyed not endured, is indeed
possible. And I have seen Pst K's
marriage model it-M.O
Marriage is an ins tu on ordained
by God. To enjoy it the way He
planned, you have to do it His way
-A.T
A good marriage, one that is
enjoyed not endured, is indeed
possible. And I have seen Pst K's
marriage model it-M.O
There isn't just one person in the
en re world for you. –A.A
For me, it's the importance of
counselling. A spiritual overseer over
your rela onship who is not "in love"
as you are puts the right balance and
perspec ve.
~A.R.A
A game-changer for me was that
the lady can be older, richer or even
more educated as long as they both
have the wisdom and maturity to
handle it.
~ S.U.A
Marry your friend.-V.E
That women think differently from
men surprised me. I actually have to
learn her love language-N.B
NLEEW
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