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Dallas CAPE News
ISSUE 01 APRIL 2015
What is Dallas CAPE?
The Office of Ethics and Diversity at the City of Dallas recently sent an invi-
This Issue
What is Dallas CAPE? P.1
“This Is My Story” P.2
News, Tips & Opportunities P.3
6 Things I Wish I Had Known P.4
tation, to all city employees who were interested, to attend an LGBTQ Focus
Group meeting. The purpose of this meeting was to gauge the interest in
starting an LGBTQ employee association for City of Dallas employees. The
attendance at this meeting showed that there was a definite need/interest
in establishing this association.
Quotable Quotes
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate
cannot drive out hate; only love
can do that.”
-Martin Luther King, Jr.
From that meeting, an LGBT Sub-Committee was formed to work on different strategies and aspects of setting up the employee association; such as
developing a Name, Mission Statement/Purpose and By-Laws, designing a
newletter and website, and creating opportunities for LGBT education and
event participation. The sub-committee has been working on ideas for
these different aspects along with the Office of Ethics and Diversity.
“Here are the values that I stand
for: honesty, equality, kindness,
compassion, treating people the
way you want to be treated and
helping those in need. To me,
those are traditional values.”
-Ellen Degeneres
The name chosen for the employee association was Dallas CAPE. This acronym stands for City Association for Promoting Equality. Below is the
adopted mission statement for CAPE.
Our mission is to raise awareness of equality issues in the
workplace in order to foster an organizational culture that is
inclusive and supportive of LGBTQ City employees,
promote professional and personal development, and
break negative stereotypes through education.
“We have talked long enough in
this country about equal rights.
It is time now to write the next
chapter - and to write it in the
books of law.”
-Lyndon B. Johnson
“If we cannot now end our differences, at least we can help make
the world safe for diversity.”
-John F. Kenney
This Is My Story...
Scott Smith, WRR Interim General Manager
“He is a master of turnarounds. In business and in his personal life.” That is how
one friend and professional peer recently
referred to Scott Smith, the 44-year-old
openly gay interim general manager of city
-owned classical music radio station WRRFM (101.1). Smith joined The City in 2013
as the station’s general sales manager and
currently shares greater operational responsibilities after successfully increasing
revenues.
raised by can be tough enough. For Scott,
his decision to be true to himself and everyone in his life – personally and professionally – was an even greater challenge
when he decided he had to tell his spouse
and two young sons. For him, it was about
integrity and love. After nearly ten years
of marriage, Smith knew that there was no
looking back. In 2001, he would put in
motion the biggest turnaround of his life.
Even as Scott began to find himself and
For Smith, who first arrived in Dallas in
navigate life as a gay man, the young dad
1998 with his then-wife of six years and
still had the responsibility of raising a pair
two young sons, workof adolescent boys. He was
ing for the City of Dalworking in marketing for a ma“Growing up, there was
las in an industry he
jor automobile manufacturer.
the expectation that
landed his first gig at
Scott did not feel that the time
you’re going to go to
age 16 in his rural Kanwas right to expose his orientaschool, get married and
sas hometown, is like
tion in the workplace. The constart a family. So, to make
a dream come true.
fidence to be open about this
my family happy, that’s
As it is for many who
aspect of his life on the job
what I did.”
grow up in America’s
wouldn’t happen for another
conservative heartland, fear and family
eight years, when he was working for Raexpectation imprisoned him in the closet
dio Disney.
for much of his life. “Coming out didn’t
come easy for me,” he says. “Growing up,
Smith had developed a winning streak in
there was the expectation that you’re gothe media industry he loves. He had also
ing to go to school, get married and start a
weathered a very difficult first gay relationfamily. So, to make my family happy,
ship and was now settled down with his
that’s what I did.”
life partner, and raising teenage sons. By
“I really appreciate that The City is supporting a group like CAPE. I’ve not only
witnessed, but experienced firsthand how
some employers do not encourage a diverse workplace environment,” Smith said.
“I think it’s fantastic that in Dallas we are
given this forum to connect with other
LGBT employees and showcase what we
have to contribute as individuals and as a
group.”
Coming out to the family you have been
2011, Scott and his family headed for the
sunny shores of Southern California, where
Scott was brought in to turn around a media business that had posted millions in
losses in recent years. Under Smith’s sales
leadership, the stations saw their first
profit in years.
But all was not golden in the Golden State.
Just a few short years after coming out,
and living as a well-adjusted openly gay
family man, Scott found California’s progressive attitudes were lost on him.
Wanting to give back to the community, he began volunteering personal
time to a variety of GLBT non-profit
groups, speaking out and fundraising
for equality, health care and social
justice. Much to his surprise, it came
with the price tag of a negative reaction by a handful of colleagues. “I
was trying to help make something
positive happen, and I was absolutely
shocked by the sort of discrimination
I encountered personally and professionally… in Palm Springs, of all
places. Half the town is gay,” Smith
says. The incident left Smith with a
yearning to return home to Dallas, to
the community that had embraced
him at the happiest, most important
time of his life.
Today, Scott is proud to work alongside a team of professionals who
don’t judge him or others based on
sexual orientation, but who honor
the diversity of the workforce and
the multitude of talents that come
together to make WRR and the Office of Cultural Affairs a shining example of why it’s great to work in
and for the Big D!
What’s Your Story?
Each month we will highlight one of
our CAPE members. We hope our
life lessons will encourage you. If
you would like to tell your story, let
us know. You can email us at either
of the two addresses below:
[email protected] or
[email protected]
Upcoming Events
April 10, 2015—12:00-1:00 P.M.
Dallas CAPE Monthly Meeting— Our
April meeting will be held at City Hall in
L1EN—Room E.
FMLA and Same Sex Couples
The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA)
entitles eligible employees of covered employers to take unpaid, job-protected leave
for specified family and medical reasons.
The FMLA also includes certain military
family leave provisions.
The Department of Labor issued a Final
Rule on February 25, 2015 revising the
regulatory definition of spouse under the
Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993
(FMLA).
site-sex or same-sex, or married under
common law, to have consistent federal
family leave rights regardless of where
they live.
The Final Rule’s definition of spouse expressly includes individuals in lawfully recognized same-sex and common law marriages and marriages that were validly entered into outside of the United States if
they could have been entered into in at
least one state.
-U.S. Department of Labor
The Final Rule amends the regulatory definition of spouse under the FMLA so that
eligible employees in legal same-sex marriages will be able to take FMLA leave to
care for their spouse or family member,
regardless of where they live. This will
ensure that the FMLA will give spouses in
same-sex marriages the same ability as all
spouses to fully exercise their FMLA rights.
The effective date for the final rule was
March 27, 2015.
Major Features of the Final Rule
Note: After the State of Texas filed a lawsuit challenging this new rule, a Federal
judge has put a temporary hold on the rule.
This story will be updated as developments
continue to be reported.
April 17, 2015—Day of Silence— We
support our high school and college
students as they protest bullying and
harassment of LGBTQ students and
their supporters by committing to a
day-long vow of silence.
April 24, 2015—12:00-1:00 P.M.
Dallas CAPE Sub-Committee
Meeting—City Hall in L1EN—Room E.
Supreme Court to Hear
Gay Marriage Case April 28
The United States Supreme Court will
hear two and a half hours of arguments
on two questions:
1. Does the 14th Amendment require
a state to license a marriage between
two people of the same sex?
2. Does the 14th Amendment require a
state to recognize a marriage between
two people of the same sex when their
marriage was lawfuly licensend and
performed out of state?
A decision in this case is expected by th
end of June.
Dallas CAPE Activity Opportunities
Awareness, support and educational activities that Dallas CAPE could
participate in or consider for future projects. Let us know your ideas!
Networking
Casual, friendly, social meetings that could be held outside of City Hall such as at a cultural center or library.
Office of Ethics and Diversity Open House
The Department has moved from a “state
of residence” rule to a “place of celebration” rule for the definition of spouse under the FMLA regulations. The Final Rule
changes the regulatory definition of spouse
in 29 CFR §§ 825.102 and 825.122(b) to
look to the law of the place in which the
marriage was entered into, as opposed to
the law of the state in which the employee
resides. A place of celebration rule allows
all legally married couples, whether oppo-
Employees representing Dallas CAPE at the Open House to represent LGBT issues and
promote group visibility.
Gay Pride Month
Dallas CAPE could pursue/promote activities taking place during Gay Pride Month occuring in June. Such options include hanging the LGBT Flag in the Lobby or the Flag Room,
etc.
Educational Presentations
These opportunities could range from integrating LGBT issues into general diversity
training for City employees to workshops on how to secure recently won benefits for
same-sex partners/spouses.
Six Things I Wish I Had Known
Before Coming Out
By Adam Dachis
Coming out of the closet—that is, revealing
your non-heterosexuality to others—can elicit
a variety of reactions from great to horrible.
Every time you come out, you're likely to learn
at least one thing you wish you knew beforehand. Save yourself some trouble and learn
from my mistakes.
Being Gay Is Only One of Your Many
Attributes
When I came out for the first time, I felt like it
would define me. I assumed -- mostly out of
fear – that everything else I was wouldn't matter anymore because I'd just be a homosexual.
When I told my parents, my dad relayed something his gay brother told him: my sexuality
accounts for one of the thousands of things
you know about me, and it's not all I am.
You Can't Predict Every Reaction
I came out to my parents at 15, and I thought I
was gay enough for them to notice. They didn't and they were shocked. I remember my
mom's eyes looked like they'd pop out of her
head. My grandmother insisted she'd known
since I was three years old. One of my better
friends in high school didn't say a word. Others reacted in a variety of ways, ranging from
extreme support to nonchalance to never
speaking to me again. For the most part,
every expectation I had was wrong.
It’s impossible to predict how people will react
each time, no matter how aware you may
think you are. You will assume many peoples
reactions wrong, so don't try guessing. Instead, put your effort into preparing for the
various types of responses. Ask yourself what
you'll do if someone says they now hate you, if
they love you unconditionally, or if they just
don't care. C onsider the individual responses
anyone could have, and know how you plan to
deal with it, rather than thinking about reactions of specific people.
You'll Have to Learn About Dating All
Over Again
For the most part, gay kids don't get a sexual
education. Until recently, nobody really talked
about homosexuality as a possibility and many
people don't. Schools rarely teach much of
anything on the subject, and the internet
rarely offers the best information. As a result,
gay people tend to come out and start dating a
bit later than everyone else. This frequently
causes a sort of regression in emotional maturity. All the lessons about dating, love, relationships, and sex have to be rebuilt when you
come out.
It Doesn't Get Better Immediately
When you come out, you may feel a load off
your back, but that doesn’t mean that life gets
better instantly. When you come out, you
want it to bring you freedom but it often takes
time before you get it. Teenagers living with
their parents may suddenly have to obey a
variety of new rules about dating and sex.
Adults may have second thoughts about making this announcement Regardless of when
you come out, you may not know what to do
next. That can lead to problems, mistakes,
and ultimately a learning experience.
Take it slow. If you rush right out of the closet
and try to embrace your newfound freedom,
you could find it causes more problems than it
solves. You may love too quickly and get hurt,
or make poor choices. Coming out can be a
relief, helping you live your “whole life.” It
does get better, but not instantly.
ing against equal rights their life’s purpose. When you come out to your
friends, family, and professional associates, you’ll notice a wide array of responses. Even though you can lose a few
people important in your life today, it
reminds us: all relationships eventually
end, some sooner than others. Rejection
can be painful. In your life, you’ll find
people who support you and love you
regardless. As life goes on, you'll find
more people like that. You'll embrace
your freedom. You'll have the opportunity to love, learn, and appreciate who
you really are. At which time, you'll wonder why you waited so long to just be
honest. It seems scarier than it really is,
but when you take the first step towards
coming out, you’re starting to make it all
better.
Adam Dachis (pictured right)
and his partner, Richard
Coming Out Never Ends
I came out to everyone in my high school at an
assembly, hoping I'd get it over with and never
have to do it again. Reality didn't agree. People in your life come and go, and you will discover the need to come out time and again.
You don't have to like it, but it’s part of being
gay. The more honest you are about your
sexuality makes life easier, though.
You'll Realize You Should've Done It
Sooner
There are people in the world that make fight-
Dallas CAPE News
Have an idea for our newsletter?
Email us at
[email protected]
or
[email protected]
www.DallasCAPE.org