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Volume 24, Issue Number 36
May 6–12, 2015
LAST DAYS ............................. 7
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LAST DAYS
The Week in Review
MONDAY, APRIL 27 This riotously
B Y D AV ID S CH M AD E R
who arrived in full riot gear, reportedly acting
on “credible threats” of a violent, gang-driven
uprising—inflamed a dicey but nonviolent
situation. “According to eyewitnesses in the
Mondawmin neighborhood, the police were
stopping buses and forcing riders, including
many students who were trying to get home,
to disembark,” reported Mother Jones. “Cops
shut down the local subway stop. They also
blockaded roads near the Mondawmin Mall
and Frederick Douglass High School, which is
across the street from the mall, and essentially
corralled young people in the area.” In closing, Reuters reported, “Police have said they
would conclude their investigation by Friday
and forward the results to state prosecutors.”
(Spoiler alert: foreshadowing.)
American week in America kicked off in Baltimore, where today brought the funeral for
Freddie Gray, the 25-year-old African American man who was arrested after running away
from police in a high-crime area while carrying
a knife on his person, and who wound up dead
from a spinal-cord injury sustained after his
aforementioned run and before his arrival at
the police station. “At Gray’s funeral, speaker
after speaker before the crowd packing the
2,500-seat New Shiloh Baptist Church said
the world was watching to see if justice would
be done for Gray,” reported Reuters. Hours
after the funeral, the watching world got a
serious show, as rioters rioted, looters looted,
and the chronically traumatized Baltimore
burned, with Maryland governor Larry Hogan declaring a state of emergency and the
nation-guarding National Guard brought in
to restore order. By the time police peppersprayed the situation into submission for the
night, 254 people had been arrested, 98 police
officers had been injured, and the whole thing
escalated into an event of the magnitude that’ll
be remembered through iconic images and
historical impact. So thanks to Mother Jones
for showcasing the stories of eyewitnesses,
who offered details on the prickly beginnings
of the henceforth monolithic Baltimore Riots,
suggesting antagonistic actions by police—
TUESDAY, APRIL 28 Speaking of days
that history will remember, the week continued
in Washington, DC, as the US Supreme Court
heard arguments in Obergefell v. Hodges,
popularly known as “the gay marriage case.”
At issue: whether constitutional guarantees of
due process and equal protection under the law
support a right to same-sex marriage (and, if
To submit an unsigned confession or accusation,
send an e-mail to [email protected]. Please
remember to change the names of the innocent and guilty.
May 6, 2015
7
Redacted Erotic Fan Fiction
Seattle City PolitiCS edition
Chapter 3: Reaching Out to Labor
I
t wasn’t just ideologies causing
tension in the Seattle City Council chambers that spring night.
I was just there to vacuum the
floors, wipe down the desks, empty the
trash cans, same as I always do. You
can imagine my surprise when I flipped
on the lights and saw Council Member
on the dais, sitting
dead center below the corporate seal of
the city.
“Bright light!”
I let out a startled scream and then
turned the lights back off.
“I’m sorry to disturb you, Council Member
! I didn’t realize
you were still here.”
“Don’t apologize. You’re just doing
your job. So am I. Except only one of us
is about to get a nice, sweet raise, am I
right?”
I didn’t understand what she meant, so
I said nothing and blushed harder.
“Hey,” she said. “Don’t be so bashful.
You’re a beautiful girl. You should smile
more. Come up here where I can see you a
little better…” There was a little catch in
her voice. “My eyes aren’t what they used
to be.”
I did as I was told, leaving my vacuum
and supply bucket by the door and crossing the great chamber. I hesitated slightly
as I approached, but her long finger
beckoned me nearer. Even in the dark, I
could see it glistening. Just then, I noticed
an object in her other hand, poking up
from behind the desk like a gearshift. As
my eyes adjusted, I realized what she was
driving at.
“Council Member
,
what are you doing with that gavel?”
“I’m calling,” she said, heavily, “a
special session”—I could practically hear
her heart pounding (or maybe that was
mine?)—“to order. Sit. I’ve got a motion I
need you to second.”
Without a moment’s hesitation, I
loosened my coveralls and sat in the chair
next to her.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
she said sharply. “That chair is for elected
officials only.”
I started blushing again and looked
away.
“You’re so serious,” Council Member
laughed and rolled
her chair backward a few inches, letting
the blazer on her lap fall to the floor in
in front of her. There had been nothing
under it. No clothing, anyway. She nodded toward the blazer, as if urging me
to kneel, which, of course, I was only too
happy to do. “I just thought you’d like
a little face time with local government.
Besides I—”
I interrupted by pressing my finger to
her lips. Her mouth fell silent.
“You politicians. All you ever do is talk.”
I pulled the chair toward me, making a
mental note of all the dust bunnies under
that desk. Looks like I’m working late
again tonight.
To be continued…
ARGUING ABOUT GAYS
STEVEN WEISSMAN
they don’t, whether states that restrict marriage to the union of one man and one woman
must recognize legal same-sex marriages from
other states). “The lead petitioner is James
Obergefell, who wanted his home state of Ohio,
which bans gay marriage, to recognize his
Maryland marriage to John Arthur as Arthur
was dying from amyotrophic lateral sclerosis,
also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease,” reported
Reuters. “Obergefell sought to have his name
on Arthur’s death certificate as surviving
spouse.” Summary of “pro” arguments: Fair
is fair, marriage equality does nothing to harm
the preexisting rights and privileges enjoyed
by male-female married couples, and the idea
of millennia of “traditional marriage” being
ruined by marriage equality is bunk (marriage
has been an ever-evolving concept forever).
Summary of “con” arguments: The traditional
family will wither and die and America will
be doomed to hell. A decision is expected by
late June.
CARS VS. BIKES, VOL.
MCMLXIV: PASSIVEAGGRESSIVE PRIUS
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 29 The week
MICHAEL LOCCISANO / THINKSTOCK
Dear angry crew-cut dude who came
to a screeching halt on a busy street
because he thought I should cross right
then and there: Do you really think you
can order people to cross the street and
nearly cause a pileup in the process?
You pointed at me, and when I didn’t
move, you yelled “GO! I DIDN’T STOP
HERE FOR FUN!” as if I didn’t understand the concept of a crosswalk. Screw
you, buddy—there was oncoming traffic! Just because you decided to stop
doesn’t obligate a person to cross. The
cars behind you started honking, and
you got a well-deserved middle finger
from me as I pedaled off. But you just
had to whip into a driveway, get out
of your car, and start after me on foot,
bellowing obscenities and threats. Wow.
Did you think you could catch a guy on
a bike? Was your jacked-up diesel truck
in the shop that day? Were you forced
to drive your wife’s emasculating Prius?
Maybe you ought to get on a bike
yourself and stomp out some of that
anger before your head explodes, you
pathetic, self-entitled fucktard.
—Anonymous
continued exactly where we left it: in Washington, DC, where today Cyndi Lauper—an
artist so accomplished she lacks only the O
from EGOT—testified in front of the Senate
Appropriations Subcommittee on Transportation, Housing
and Urban Development, and Related
Agencies about the
need for increased
resources to combat
youth homelessness.
Of particular interest to Lauper: the
REPPING FOR
plight of transgenTRANS KIDS
der kids, who make
up an estimated 40 percent of all homeless
youth. “Basically, the kids come out and they
get thrown out,” said Lauper in testimony
that’s gloriously easy to imagine being spoken
in her Brooklyn Betty Boop patois. “Truth is,
they didn’t choose their identity. You know, it’s
like you choosing the color of your eyes. You
know, you’re born that way.” The 61-year-old
Lauper’s knockout finale: “If it’s a faith issue,
I implore you not to pray to God to change
your kid. Pray to God to change your heart.”
THURSDAY, APRIL 30 Nothing happened today, unless you count the Facebook
post by Baltimore public defender Marci Tarrant Johnson, who reported on the alarming
conditions at Baltimore’s Central
Booking, where
more than one hundred people were
held in overcrowded cells with deplorable conditions
for 48 hours before
being released with
no charges ever
filed against them.
CHARGING
“ They ’re denyTHE COPS
ing due process to
people,” said human rights lawyer Nicole Lee
to Newsweek. “This is an issue of the City of
Baltimore having to respect their citizens.”
FRIDAY, MAY 1 Speaking of Baltimore
and the fallout from the death of Freddie Gray,
today brought a bracing press conference led
by Baltimore City State’s Attorney Marilyn J. Mosby, who proclaimed that police officers “illegally arrested” Gray (whose alleged
switchblade was actually a lawful knife), shared
the coroner’s findings that Gray’s death was
the result of homicide, and announced criminal charges against the six Baltimore police
officers implicated in Gray’s death. Among
the charges: assault, false imprisonment, manslaughter, and second-degree depraved heart
murder. (“Depraved heart murder is a super
manslaughter case,” attorney Walter Balint
told Newsweek. “It is like taking a loaded gun
and firing it down the street. You kill someone
standing on the other side of the street with
that shot. You didn’t intend that specific victim, but you killed someone.”) “To the people
of Baltimore and the demonstrators across
America, I heard your call for ‘No Justice, No
Peace,’” said Mosby. “Your peace is sincerely
needed as I work to deliver justice on behalf
of this young man.”
SATURDAY, MAY 2 Nothing happened
today, unless you count noted woman-beater
Floyd Mayweather boringly scoring more
punching points than antigay loser Manny
Pacquiao in a “boxing match.”
SUNDAY, MAY 3 The week ended in Texas, where tonight a pair of gunmen attacked
the site of a “Draw Muhammad” contest,
nonfatally shooting a security guard before
being shot dead by police. By tomorrow, one
of the dead suspects will be identified as Elton
Simpson, an American Muslim from Phoenix
who’s been on the FBI’s terror watch list for
the past five years. There is still no word on
who won the drawing contest. n
Send hot tips to [email protected]
and follow me on Twitter @davidschmader.
The traditional family will wither and die at
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8
May 6, 2015
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NEWS
What Two Programmers Have
Revealed So Far About Seattle Police
Officers Who Are Still in Uniform
Using Public Disclosure Laws, Eric Rachner and Phil Mocek
Have Found Troubling Trends in Police Accountability
BY ANSEL HERZ
F
or most of their lives, Eric Rachner and Phil Mocek had
no strong feelings about police. Mocek, who grew up
in Kansas, said he regarded police officers as honorable civil
servants, like firefighters. Both chose careers as
programmers: Rachner, 39, is an independent
cyber-security expert, while Mocek, 40, works
on administrative software used by dentists.
But through their shrewd use of Washington’s Public Records Act, the two Seattle
residents are now the closest thing the city
has to a civilian police-oversight board. In the
last year and a half, they have acquired hundreds of reports, videos, and 911 calls related
to the Seattle Police Department’s internal
investigations of officer misconduct between
2010 and 2013. And though they have only
combed through a small portion of the data,
they say they have found several instances of
officers appearing to lie, use racist language,
and use excessive force—with no consequences. In fact, they believe that the Office
of Professional Accountability (OPA) has systematically “run interference” for cops. In
the aforementioned cases of alleged officer
misconduct, all of the involved officers were
exonerated and still remain on the force.
“We’re trying to do OPA’s job for them because OPA was so explicitly not interested in
doing their own job,” said Rachner.
Among some of Rachner and Mocek’s findings: a total of 1,028 SPD employees (including
civilian employees) were investigated between
2010 and 2013. (The current number of total
SPD staff is 1,820.) Of the 11 most-investigated
employees—one was investigated 18 times during the three-year period—every single one of
them is still on the force, according to SPD.
In 569 allegations of excessive or inappropriate use of force (arising from 363 incidents),
only seven were sustained—meaning 99 percent of cases were dismissed. Exoneration
rates were only slightly smaller when looking
at all the cases between 2010 and 2013—of the
total 2,232 allegations, 284 were sustained.
“This is exactly why we have the robust
Public Records Act that we have,” said Jared
Friend, director of technology and liberty for
the ACLU of Washington. “People are obviously dissatisfied with how OPA is handling
its investigations, and our Public Records Act
has enabled folks like Phil and Eric to engage
in oversight. Through the work they’re doing,
we can see some of the deficiencies and lapses
in the process.”
SPD spokesman Sean Whitcomb agreed
that what Rachner and Mocek are doing “is
great,” and that “the more information that’s
publicly available, the better.” But he added
that OPA has its own independent oversight,
in the form of an OPA auditor and review
board. “SPD has been a leader in government
transparency, with SPD staff receiving two
Washington Coalition for Open Government
awards since 2012,” he wrote in an e-mail.
In response to a 2010 incident (of which The
Stranger obtained dash-cam video) in which two
officers derided poor black people and joked
about beating them up, Whitcomb said the incident was investigated and that several police
reforms have been instituted since then. Both of
the involved officers remain on the force.
police accountable for mistakes and abuses.
And Rachner saw an opportunity to do
just that when, in August of 2011, the Washington State Supreme Court ruled that police
records of internal investigations into officer
misconduct were subject to the state’s Public
Records Act, one of the strongest transparency laws in the country. Prior to the ruling,
Rachner believes, the OPA, which investigates police misconduct, would systematically
“sweep all these records into the investigative
file, and then after the officer was exonerated,
KELLY O
investigated SPD employees between 2010 and 2013, all continue to remain on the force.
H
ow did two nerds come to hold SPD
accountable? It started in 2008, when
Seattle police arrested Rachner during a
game of “urban golf.” The cops charged him
with obstruction, but Rachner fought the
charges and won. Then he sued the police for
withholding video of his arrest, which they
had denied possessing. The video turned
up, and in the end, Rachner won more than
$60,000 in settlements.
Then, in February 2011, Rachner met Mocek at an SPD town hall meeting. Mocek had
had his own run-in with police. In 2009, security agents at Sea-Tac Airport threw him in a jail
cell for lacking identification and causing a disturbance. Mocek challenged the misdemeanor
charges against him and, like Rachner, won.
Their run-ins and legal battles with security
agencies galvanized them, they said, to hold
none of those records were accessible.” They
were never destined to see the light of day.
Kathryn Olson, the OPA director from
2007 until 2012, was widely seen as more of a
lapdog than a watchdog. During her tenure,
the department fell under a federal consent
decree, requiring it to address a pattern of excessive force and concerns about racial bias.
The day after the state supreme court ruling, Rachner filed a public records request for
all OPA records from 2010 to 2013. Six days
later, the head of the SPD public disclosure
unit responded in an e-mail message, “The estimated cost for the records you have requested
is $29,370.00 (plus postage).” (That amount was
later revised down to $21,500, plus postage.)
“At the time,” Rachner said, “I had no
money to spend, and I was like, fuck. So I
dropped it.”
9
He rues the decision now. Under the department’s contract with the Seattle Police
Officers’ Guild, the largest public union in the
state, OPA is required to shred its records after three years. That means that from 2011 to
2013, the department was destroying records
covering the period from 2008 to 2010—the
crucial period leading up to the federal government’s investigation of SPD and the
initiation of the consent decree.
Then, Rachner got a break—in the form of
another payout for a violation of the Public Records Act. In the fall of 2012, Ben Livingston
(a past Stranger contributor) was the subject
of a Washington State Patrol traffic stop. Livingston requested dash-cam video of the traffic
stop, but the Washington State Patrol denied
possessing such footage. The following year,
Livingston, Rachner, Mocek, and Seattle civil
rights attorney Cleveland Stockmeyer created
a nonprofit called the Center for Open Policing
(COP). Their first effort was to sue.
They won, and the state patrol settled to
the tune of about $23,000. “I particularly enjoyed that case,” said Mocek.
Perhaps more significantly, Rachner and
COP had suddenly come into possession of
the funds they needed to follow through on
the public records request for Seattle’s OPA
data. On December 9, 2013, Rachner walked
into SPD headquarters and wrote a check for
$2,150—a down payment that would get the
disclosure process rolling.
“The guy at the public-records desk was
like, ‘I’ve never seen one this big!’” recalled
Rachner, flashing a sheepish grin.
I
ERIC RACHNER AND PHIL MOCEK Among their findings: of the eleven most
May 6, 2015
n the intervening 17 months, however, the
SPD has delivered less than 10 percent of
the records, according to Rachner, and some
of the files are incomplete. At this pace, the
SPD won’t fully comply with his records request until 2028. “We’re never going to catch
up at this rate,” he said, calling the flow of records an unacceptable “trickle.” He plans to
file more requests for post-2013 OPA data.
A recent City of Seattle audit of the police
department’s public disclosure unit found
that it relies on an “antiquated and inefficient
system,” and is “risking legal liability and endangering the public trust,” the Seattle Times
reported on March 18.
Rachner believes that the big problem with
policing right now “is that police misconduct
is evaluated from the standard of the police,
and not the standards of the community.”
The name of their nonprofit (COP), Mocek
said, originally stood for “Citizens Overseeing
Police.” “That was one of our goals,” he said.
“Empower regular people to perform their
own investigations of police.”
But even with the “trickle” of records coming from the SPD, Rachner and Mocek are
already overwhelmed by reams of data—thousands of pages, along with hours of dash-cam
videos and 911 dispatch calls. “We’re sitting on
a heap of records,” Rachner said.
“We’re just a group of people who are fully
employed,” doing police accountability work
in their spare time, Mocek added.
COP considered dumping the raw data online for anyone to view, but decided against it
because it would involve the publication of sensitive personal details—things like mental illness,
drug addiction, or cases involving minors.
The solution they have in mind involves
applying for grants, or even some kind of crowdsourcing. But they’re not sure how to do it.
In the meantime, Rachner and Mocek will
continue to file requests and comb through
the data, attempting to hold police officers
accountable.
“Ideally, we should be able to evaluate
these things through the OPA process,” said
the ACLU’s Jared Friend. “I think the work
they’re doing is great, and I think we should
be able to learn a lot from it, and hopefully it
will stimulate some change.” n
10
May 6, 2015
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RENTERS ARE BEING PRICED OUT While developers keep building new profit
centers.
Three Things Seattle Can Do
Right Now to Help Renters
While City Hall Fights Over Linkage Fees and
Rent Control, It Could Close Loopholes That
Allow Landlords to Unfairly Evict Tenants
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BY HEIDI GROOVER
R
ight now, city leaders and tenant advocates are arguing over how to best
address the lack of affordable housing in Seattle. Institute rent control? Sell city bonds to
build affordable housing? Charge developers
linkage fees? These are huge policy decisions
that will likely require long, ugly fights over
the next few months or years. Meanwhile, rent
is still going up. Here are three small things
the city could be doing to make life a little better for renters. Like, now.
Fix the just cause eviction rules.
Currently, tenants on month-to-month lease
agreements are protected by the city’s Just
Cause Eviction Ordinance, which requires
landlords to have one of 18 valid reasons to
evict them. Tenants on fixed-term leases
are similarly protected by the terms of their
lease, which usually specify that they can’t be
evicted unless they do something like fail to
pay rent. If a fixed-term lease ends without
automatically rolling over to a month-tomonth agreement, however, tenants are no
longer protected by either the terms of their
lease or the just cause rules, meaning a landlord can evict them for no reason. Jonathan
Grant, the former director of the Tenants
Union and a member of the mayor’s Housing Affordability and Livability Advisory
Committee, calls this a “backdoor way to discriminate against people.”
One proposed fix is to make all leases automatically transition to month-to-month when
they end, meaning that even after a lease term
ends, a landlord would have to have one of the
reasons listed in the just cause law to evict.
Close the tenant relocation assistance
loophole.
If a landlord evicts a tenant in order to demolish or renovate a building, he or she is
required to help with moving costs—$3,255,
split between the city and the landlord—for
anyone making less than half of the area’s
median income. But there’s a sneaky way
landlords can get around this: by first jacking up rents so high that tenants are forced
to leave on their own. The landlord gets an
empty building, and the tenant gets what is
often called “economically evicted.”
Because of the state’s ban on rent control,
the city can’t place limits on rent increases,
but it can deter landlords from making such a
maneuver. A proposal by city council member
Nick Licata, his legislative aide Lisa Herbold
(who’s running for city council), and Grant
(who’s also running for city council) would
allow a tenant who suspects a large rent increase is an attempt to get him or her to move
to notify the city’s Department of Planning
and Development. DPD would then determine
whether the rent increase is “reasonable” and
ask the landlord to sign a certificate promising
he or she isn’t raising rents in order to get tenants to move out. (Landlords really hate this
part of the idea, by the way, saying allowing
the city to determine reasonableness looks too
much like rent control.)
Landlords who sign the pledge and then
apply for permits to do significant rehab
work could be fined $1,000 a day. Tenants
may end up displaced anyway, but the threat
of fines is meant to deter landlords from trying to get around the rule in the first place.
Make landlords give tenants more
notice in “no-fault” evictions.
Landlords can legally evict tenants on monthto-month lease agreements for various
reasons, including ones that have nothing to
do with the tenants—for example, if the landlord or a relative of the landlord wants to move
into the dwelling. In that case, a landlord can
give a tenant just 20 days’ notice. Lengthening that window to 60 or 90 days would give
tenants more time to find alternative housing.
Former city council member Sally Clark
was working on creating a 90-day notice requirement for these types of evictions before
she left the council last month. Now that idea
is stuck in limbo, waiting for someone to revive it. If someone does, the proposal could
be strengthened even further: by adding the
sale of the building—another, more common
“no-fault” eviction—to those that get a longer heads-up.
Of the three aforementioned proposals,
the first one—already in motion from Licata’s
office—is causing the most heartburn among
landlord advocates, who say it’s preempted
by state law. Mayor Ed Murray says he’s
“there with [Licata] conceptually,” but won’t
commit to actually supporting the idea. That
leaves the decision with the city council—allow useful policy fixes to get bogged down in
a drawn-out fight over big policies like rent
control, or act now on behalf of renters. n
NEWS
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May 6, 2015
11
OPENING NIGHT GALA
SPY
MAY 14 | 7:00 PM | MCCAW HALL
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Miranda Hart, Bobby Cannavale, Allison Janney.
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KEVIN BACON
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special Tribute followed by a screening
of Cop Car. Mr. Bacon will be honored
with the Seattle International Film Festival
Career Achievement Award and an onstage
interview before the screening.
SPECIAL EVENT
54: THE DIRECTOR’S CUT
MAY 29 | 7:00PM | FILM | EGYPTIAN
An ode to the glitterball era and the infamous NYC dance club, the director’s
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May 6, 2015
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THE STRANGER
MIDDLE WAY
PEACEFUL MAY DAY ENDS WITH
ARRESTS, INJURIES, AND FLASHBANGS
After a May Day of peaceful protests trailed
by bike cops—a Black Lives Matter march
in the morning, followed by the annual
El Comité march for immigrant rights—an
anticapitalist march on Capitol Hill
saw flashbangs, broken glass, officers in
timeline? (The Arctic fleet is supposed to
be in the Chukchi Sea by July 1.) Or will
the port decide not to reapply? The mayor
said he’s hoping the port commission will
take this opportunity to “reconsider” its
original decision, which bypassed any real
public input. “It’s time to turn the page”
on oil dependence, Murray said. This just
got way bigger than
kayaktivists, folks.
If Seattle says “no”
to Shell, will other
ports follow? SYDNEY
BROWNSTONE
EVERYONE’S TALKING ABOUT KSHAMA
SAWANT Seattle
City Council member
Kshama Sawant’s
open criticism of her
newest colleague,
John Okamoto, has the
chattering class callANSEL HERZ
ing her divisive and
This was the happy, peaceful part of May Day. Then the antimean. But instead of
capitalists showed up, and arrests, injuries, and skirmishes
followed.
apologizing—as the
Seattle Times editofull riot gear, and 16 arrests of protestrial board said she should do—Sawant is
ers the police referred to as “rioters.” The
leveling her own critique at the rest of the
march began peacefully when protesters
council. When Okamoto was appointed to
left Seattle Central College around 7 p.m.,
the council by a 5–3 vote on April 27, Sawabut tensions worsened around 7:30, when
nt (who had supported low-income-housing
bike-mounted officers charged into the
advocate Sharon Lee) called the Port of
crowd and arrested a protester (it’s still
Seattle a “cesspool of corruption” during
not clear why), scattering the Black Bloc.
Okamoto’s tenure as chief administrative
Officers then formed lines, blocked off the
officer. That set off a string of criticisms, instreet, and shouted at protesters to “move
cluding from Council President Tim Burgess.
back.” After the arrest, some protesters
“There’s no need for personal attacks or
smashed car windows, pushed dumpsters
disrespectful labeling,” Burgess said at Okainto the street, and threw rocks and glass
moto’s May 4 swearing in. In her response
at police. Over the course of the evening,
to the Times’ editorial board calling for
three officers were injured, according
an apology, Sawant reframed the debate,
to the Seattle Police Department. Yet, the
saying divisiveness on the council is not
department also appeared to do little in
about personal style but priorities. “Monthe way of de-escalation. Officers were
day’s vote,” Sawant wrote, “demonstrates a
generous in their use of flashbangs and
bias by the majority on the council in favor
rubber bullets, injuring some protesters,
of political insiders and a lack of urgency to
reporters, and at least one legal observer.
address the housing crisis.” HEIDI GROOVER
The National Lawyers Guild released a
statement afterward saying police “singled
FEDS FINALIZE CRUDE-OIL-TRAIN RULES,
out and harassed… legal observers.” A
AND THEY’RE NOT VERY GOOD Five
briefing from the SPD to the city about the
months after missing the first deadline to
department’s response is scheduled for May
come up with safety standards for vola6. HEIDI GROOVER
tile crude-oil-by-rail transportation, the
federal Department of
Transportation finally
issued a 395-page-long
set of regulations for
“bomb” trains in early May. The Feds rolled
back transparency requirements proposed
in their first draft, set
speed limits on trains
rolling through “high
threat urban areas” (a
limp designation that
doesn’t look at population density close to
the tracks), and gave
KELLY O
After a decision by Mayor Murray, this oil rig—currently parked the industry until 2018
in Port Angeles—might not be allowed into Seattle’s port after all. to phase out its oldest,
most dangerous tank
CITY THROWS ROADBLOCK AT SHELL’S
cars. Senator Maria Cantwell (D-WA) was
ARCTIC DRILLING RIG Well, hot damn, Ed
not happy. “The new DOT rule is just like
Murray! On May 4, the mayor announced
saying let the oil trains roll,” she said in a
that the city’s Department of Planning
statement. “It does nothing to address
and Development found that the Port of
explosive volatility, very little to reduce
Seattle’s decision to host Shell’s Arctic drillthe threat of rail-car punctures, and is too
ing fleet was not in compliance with its
slow on the removal of the most dangerlocal permit. Now the port has to reapply
ous cars. It’s more of a status quo rule than
for the permit, which could take weeks,
the real safety changes needed to protect
or months. Could the delay be enough
the public and first responders.” SYDNEY
to upset Shell’s delicate summer drilling
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THE STRANGER
COURTESY OF THE ARTIST AND SEATTLE ART MUSEUM
‘WOMAN LANDING ON MAN ON THE MOON’ BY ANN LEDA SHAPIRO It has never been
exhibited before. Now Seattle Art Museum owns it, along with Two Sides of Self (facing page), which the
artist says was censored in the ’70s by the Whitney Museum of American Art.
THE STRANGER
May 6, 2015
15
Most
Unusual
Art Gift Ever
The
After Matthew Offenbacher won a $25,000 art prize, he did something radical.
He made a conceptual artwork with Jennifer Nemhauser that consisted of
buying works by women and queer artists for Seattle Art Museum. By Jen Graves
W
hen the traveling
Elles exhibition
came to Seattle
Art Museum in
2012 from one
of the most
respected modern
art museums in the world, Seattle encountered an embarrassing problem.
Elles was a big show, organized by the
Centre Pompidou in Paris, with more than
130 pieces in it dating from 1907 to 2007.
Momentously, it included zero male artists.
Women artists alone told 20th-century art
history, from Frida Kahlo to Diane Arbus to
Marina Abramovic.
As a symbolic gesture, Seattle Art
Museum wanted to create a companion
exhibition out of its own holdings. The plan
was that SAM would empty out the galleries
and rehang them entirely with art in their
permanent collection by women.
There was just one problem.
SAM’s 20th-century holdings, like the
holdings of most museums, are so womanpoor that there was no way to fill their
galleries solely with art by women. Private
lenders were solicited to step in. SAM’s “collection” galleries temporarily became galleries filled with other people’s stuff.
The point had been to demonstrate how
much Seattle’s largest art museum values
women. But Elles inadvertently revealed
how much it hadn’t.
Among the women artists whose work
SAM had never acquired was Ann Leda
Shapiro. Shapiro lives on idyllic Vashon
Island, the perfect place for an early feminist
artist to hide out during the Reagan, Clinton,
and Bush years. The last time Shapiro made
a splash as an artist was in 1973, when she
had a solo show at the Whitney Museum of
American Art in New York, her hometown.
There were two solo shows by women at
the Whitney in November of 1973. The other
artist was Lee Krasner—an abstract painter
who, at that time, was still almost entirely
known as a famous man’s wife (that drippainter fellow, rhymes with “bollock”).
Unlike Krasner, Shapiro is no abstractionist. She’s completely out there with her
subject matter. Her 1970s watercolors are
feminist and antiwar fantasias, depicting
hermaphroditic mermaids with interlocking
nipples, fish that look like little missiles, and
deemed obscene and inappropriate for a fineart museum. But she took notice the following year when her friend Jim Nutt, a male
artist who uses overtly sexualized imagery,
had a big exhibition at the Whitney.
At the time of her own show, Shapiro
didn’t even think of fighting it.
“I was young and I was shocked, and I
just sort of said, oh, I’m lucky the show is
hanging, and that was that,” she told me.
“I chose not to participate in the art world
per se after that, just at alternative spaces
or university art galleries. But what I think
is important is that I didn’t do internalized censorship. I painted what I wanted to
paint.”
An archivist at the Whitney confirms
Shapiro’s exhibition in November 1973, but
SAM’s 20th-century
holdings are so womanpoor that there was
no way to fill their
galleries solely with
art by women.
COURTESY OF THE ARTIST AND SEATTLE ART MUSEUM
female astronauts whose penises and breasts
are imprinted with the American flag.
When the drawing department at the
Whitney invited her to show, Shapiro sent
slides, the works were approved, and then
she sent in the works themselves. At that
point, she was confoundingly informed by
the curator that two pieces, one titled Two
Sides of Self (the mermaids) and one titled
Anger, would not be allowed to be shown in
the Whitney because “anything erect was
edited out, anything limp was hung, if you
know what I mean,” according to Shapiro.
(This anecdote may prompt your own extended consideration of whether the female
mermaids’ penises are, in fact, erect. They
appear to be in something of a middle state.)
In other words, Shapiro’s work was
the museum’s files contain no mention of censorship. Nor do the files contain a final list of
which works went up on the walls.
After a time, Shapiro turned her studies
toward acupuncture and Chinese medicine,
moved to Vashon Island, and mostly disappeared from the art world. She kept painting, but Seattle Art Museum, the major art
museum in her adopted region, never even
knew she existed.
A few weeks ago, Two Sides of Self, the
mermaid watercolor, and another watercolor
that has never gone on exhibit anywhere,
Woman Landing on Man on the Moon,
crossed over to the other side—into SAM’s
permanent collection.
Now SAM is spending its money and energy protecting these pieces, each no larger
than a kitchen cutting board. Shapiro hopes
that SAM in 2015 will be willing to exhibit
what the Whitney of 1973 would not.
“I hope they hang it on the walls—that’s
my concern,” Shapiro said. “I wouldn’t be
Continued on page 17
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May 6, 2015
17
COURTESY OF THE ARTIST AND SEATTLE ART MUSEUM
KLARA GLOSOVA’S ‘LIFE ON THE SIDELINES’ From a series of giant
watercolor-on-paper paintings, this one was recently acquired by SAM.
surprised if they don’t.”
She paused.
“I usually show at the credit union on
Vashon.”
T
he only reason that Ann Leda
Shapiro has been inducted into
future art history as told by SAM
is that Seattle artist Matthew Offenbacher recently won a prize and, together
with Jennifer Nemhauser, decided to do
something revolutionary with it.
Offenbacher is a mid-level Seattle artist.
He’s a painter but also an organizer of artists, and the publisher of a smart, influential
zine called La Norda Specialo. His paintings
are not included in any Seattle museum collections, but he has been recognized for them. In 2013, he won
the Neddy at Cornish in painting,
which comes with an unrestricted
$25,000 award. An unrestricted
award means you can do whatever
you want with the money—buy
a convertible, blow it on the best
beach vacation ever.
But Offenbacher and Jennifer
Nemhauser, his partner of 25
years, decided to take the money
coming into their household and
send it right back out. They bought art by
female and queer artists who live locally and
they donated it to SAM for the permanent
collection.
“It’s a conversation we’ve had for as long
as we’ve been together—the issue of who is
valued, who gets to be written into textbooks
in history,” Nemhauser said. She’s a biology
professor at the University of Washington,
and has the same questions about science as
Offenbacher has about art.
After Elles made painfully obvious just
how slim museum holdings are, meetings of
Seattle artists were convened, including one
called the Seattle Women’s Convention, to
ask: What next? What can we do to support
women artists better?
Not long after Offenbacher won the
$25,000, he sent SAM curators Catharina
Manchanda and Chiyo Ishikawa a simple
e-mail requesting a meeting. Right away,
there was interest. Soon the two curators
were in a fifth-floor conference room with
Offenbacher and Nemhauser, talking about their idea. Offenbacher
and Nemhauser had brought with
them a list of 50 artists and works
they felt represented the best of
local feminist and queer art.
It was, Manchanda said, “the
most unusual project in relation
to an acquisition that I’ve ever
worked on.”
Offenbacher and Nemhauser
proposed the whole project as a
work of art unto itself, called Deed
of Gift. The work is not only the
gift of the small collection to the
museum, but the process leading
up to the gift.
“As a gesture, as a project,
as an undertaking, I see it as
need to be asked and discussed.
This art project is a bit of a prod.”
In other words, giving to SAM
was a way of critiquing SAM from
the inside.
“I
’m not naive, I never
would have made it
into the Seattle Art
Museum,” said Joey
Veltkamp, the only male artist of
the seven.
His piece that entered the collection as part of Deed of Gift is
a quilt, referencing that domestic
“feminine” craft, made using
fabric that’s patterned with butch
plaids and symbols of the rugged outdoors in Montana—plus
swatches with bears and squares
of fuzzy faux polar-bear fur. “It’s
just so damn sweet. It’s just such
a gentle institutional critique. Like
a hug. Like, ‘Okay, you’re missing
some things, so let’s give them to
you. That seems to be really hard,
maybe this will help.’”
When Manchanda visited
Veltkamp for a studio visit as part
of her stealth research for Deed
an extension of Matt’s larger
of Gift, Veltkamp didn’t know why
self-understanding as an artist,”
someone so important was visitManchanda continued, “and as an
ing him. He’s a self-taught artist.
artist who wants to make a differBeing part of SAM’s collection is
ence in the local community. I may
“shockingly validating,” he said
be overstating it if I say I’m seeing
later. It was good at the time he
it as an art project, but it felt that
didn’t know the stakes were high,
COURTESY OF THE ARTIST AND SEATTLE ART MUSEUM
way.”
because he figured why not go for
Deed of Gift—there is an actual JOEY VELTKAMP’S ‘GLACIER’ QUILT His version of the
it, and he and the curator were
domestic “feminine” craft is patterned with butch plaids and
legal deed documenting the deed
able to have a real conversation,
that was done—can also be seen as symbols of the rugged outdoors.
he said.
an epic act of kindness.
“She talked about [how] it actu“What a generous gift,” said
ally is hard to get work at SAM
project that was trying to start conversations by women artists and queer artists, because,
Robert Kaplan, a museum trustee who is
and have symbolic value in the community
on the acquisitions committee. (Kaplan is a
you know, someone might approach you with
around how artists and artworks are valued,
major collector of Australian aboriginal art.)
money, and you direct them toward a piece,
how museums make value.”
“He must be quite an interesting person.”
and that money might dry up if it’s a piece by
“It starts from a hard place,” Nemhauser
But that’s not how Offenbacher and Nema woman or a queer artist,” said Veltkamp.
elaborated. “It wants to bring up really hard
hauser prefer to see it.
“It just kind of shocked me that in 2015,
things to talk about. Charity is a little differ“We don’t like it at all when people say,
that’s still a challenge sometimes.”
ent. [Deed of Gift] is not selfless. We’re really
‘You’re so generous,’” Offenbacher told me.
(Manchanda said later that she would
deeply invested in our community in Seattle
“The intention of it wasn’t to be generous,
characterize their conversation differently.
and think there are some hard questions that
really… I’d like it to be understood as an art
Continued on page 19
A SAM curator called
it “the most unusual
project in relation to
an acquisition that
I’ve ever worked on.”
May 6, 2015
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COURTESY OF THE ARTIST AND SEATTLE ART MUSEUM
WYNNE GREENWOOD In one of her signature videos, this one titled YOUNG WOMAN
WARRIOR PREPARED FOR BATTLE, which was just acquired by SAM.
As she explained it, “Some people are
drawn to things that are more classic—to,
say, key moments in the history of art—and
then others want to be politically engaged.”
Manchanda added that she “would personally love to build the legacy” at SAM in feminist work and conceptual art of the 1960s,
two areas where SAM’s collection is thin.)
SAM does not keep tabs on the gender
breakdown of its modern and contemporary
art collection, according to a spokesperson.
But upon request, SAM was able to tally how
many works by male and female artists the
museum has acquired in the last two years
for its modern and contemporary collections,
which cover the 20th and 21st centuries.
In that span, SAM acquired 221 works
total: 35 by women and 186 by men.
It’s difficult to come to tidy conclusions
about a project as complex as Deed of Gift,
but one sure thing is that Deed reveals how
much unseen power and sway people with
money have over what the museum decides
to preserve for posterity.
This should come as no surprise. Almost
every art museum in this country was
founded by a rich man giving over his rare,
expensive stuff. The family gets the windfall
from the tax break for donating, and the
public gets culture, so it’s a win-win.
But science was always part of the
The project reveals how
much unseen power
and sway people with
money have over what
the museum decides to
preserve for posterity.
COURTESY OF THE ARTIST AND SEATTLE ART MUSEUM
DAFT KUNTZ “So good it could have been
made by a man” is something a man told
artist Victoria Haven, who is half of Daft
Kuntz.
“collectors and donors should realize they
have much more of an influence” on the city
and the museum than they might think. And
with power comes you-know-what.
There is a bright side to the arbitrary
way that a single donor can make a difference. Someone with money who wants to
help round out a museum collection simply
“has to put a stake in the sand,” said Josef
Vascovitz, a wealthy Seattle donor.
Vascovitz and his wife, Lisa Goodman, donate almost exclusively art by artists of color
to SAM. Somebody has to do it, because the
museum has very little budget for any new
art, let alone artists who aren’t household
names. The art-going public still prefers
Picasso, Matisse, and the impressionists.
Donors can intervene to provide balance in
the permanent collections.
“If you say ‘feminist artists’ or ‘black
artists,’ even if those artists are offering
their commentary on landscape, you scare
museum-goers away,” said Vascovitz, who
was on the acquisitions committee that approved Deed of Gift.
“It’s one thing when Lisa and myself
give, because everybody assumes we can
and should,” said Vascovitz. But when people
like Offenbacher and Nemhauser take “their
very limited resources and use them as a
multiplier effect like this? It’s exceptional,
and I don’t use that adjective lightly.”
Offenbacher and Nemhauser have an
agreement that they check in with each
other any time either of them wants to spend
more than $100. She recalled how this time
he described his idea over dinner, and Nemhauser “basically said, ‘Wow, you have such
an awesome brain—I totally want to do this
with you!’ It was really that simple.”
By contrast, “This time of year, we spend
a lot of time… debating about how many
bunches of asparagus are reasonable versus
pure decadence.”
K
COURTESY OF THE ARTIST AND SEATTLE ART MUSEUM
A CHAPBOOK BY ANNE FOCKE The
picture, too. Museums are meant to gather
together artistic experiences and assess
them in a comprehensive way that no single
person’s taste could. They are meant to
write history, to be factual. They classify art
by breaking it down into time periods and
geographical regions and styles, and those
styles are understood as more than mere
fashions—they reflect back the larger world
from which they derive.
The professionalized, academically based,
quasi-scientific, yet popular art museum—
the American art museum as it stands today,
like Seattle Art Museum—is crawling with
conflicts and paradoxes that never overtly
make it into the galleries. Those are the
heart of Deed of Gift.
Seattle Art Museum is a private entity,
THE STRANGER
founder of the 1974 alternative art space
and/or published this piece called “a pragmatic reponse to real circumstances.”
but with that name, it sounds like a public
agency. As a civic symbol, it ought to reflect
the entire city and not just an elite slice of
it. Offenbacher and Nemhauser chose SAM
rather than the Henry Art Gallery or the
smaller Frye Art Museum for that reason.
What SAM owns in some senses the city
owns. If SAM supports women artists, then
this particular city is a comparatively good
place for women artists.
“Giving work to a museum is automatically made to be a charity act,” Offenbacher
said. He’s getting heaped with praise for
being a donor. But, he said, like it or not,
lara Glosova, another Seattle
artist whose work is entering
SAM’s collection thanks to Deed
of Gift, has always made art
from her everyday. She has teenage sons
who play soccer. A lot of soccer. For Glosova,
this means many hours spent on the edges of
sports fields, the edges of her sons’ heartbreaks and triumphs.
Last year, Glosova made something of
a departure from her more typical ceramic
sculptures of everyday objects—dirty socks
on the floor, for example—by creating a series of huge, gorgeous watercolors on paper
called Life on the Sidelines. The paintings
depict, over and over, rows of parents on the
sidelines of athletic fields. The parents cast
long shadows, and nothing is happening on
the field. You never see faces, only backs.
Last month was the first time Glosova
had ever been behind the scenes at SAM.
She is used to showing work in galleries
and DIY spaces. When Glosova brought the
watercolor SAM had acquired through Deed
of Gift, it was treated with a reverence she’d
never experienced before. “Nobody wanted
to touch it, and they asked me to slide it
off the cardboard,” she said. “It was like it
crossed over to another place that’s very
unfamiliar to me.”
While she was there, she noticed the
freight elevator was so big and beautiful, she
Continued on page 21
May 6, 2015
19
(5/6) Scholar in Residence
Mona Akmal
Scratch
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TOWN HALL CIVICS SCIENCE ARTS
& CULTURE COMMUNITY
2-for-$5 Double Feature!
(5/7) Per Espen Stoknes
How (Not) To Build Support
for Climate Policy
(5/7) Steven Quartz
Kickstart the Economy By
Being Cool
(5/8) Town Hall’s Day of
Service Info Session
Lettuce Link
(5/8) Gene Baur
and Kathryn Gillespie
Ethical and Environmental
Impacts of Eating Animals
(5/9) Hootenanny!
An All-Ages Sing-along
Tribute to Pete Seeger
(5/9) Word Play 4
Spoken Word Poetry Festival
(5/10) Grant Hayter-Menzies
Lillian Carter: Caregiver,
Activist, and Pioneer
2-for-$5 Double Feature!
(5/11) Jennifer McCreight
What Makes Us Human:
Decoding Our DNA
(5/11) Leonard Mlodinow
The Evolution of Scientific
Discovery
(5/11) World Science Festival
Watch Party
3-for-$5 Triple Feature!
(5/12) John Fullmer
Analyzing Volcano Creation
and Julie Weicheld
Climate Change and
Washington Mosquitos
(5/12) Beth Shapiro
Conserving Ecosystems with
De-Extinction
(5/12) Olivier Wevers with
Juan Alonso-Rodriguez
Journey Into the Mind
of A Choreographer
(5/13) Elliott Bay Book Company:
Philip Glass in conversation
with Rajan Krishnaswami
(5/15) UW School of
Environmental and Forest
Sciences presents
The UW Climate Change Video
Awards with Annie Leonard
(5/15-17) Saigon’s Golden
Dragon Water Puppet Theatre
(5/16) PSSO presents
Spring Concert
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Thu 5/14, 7pm
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an excellent essay he wrote about Northwest artists titled “Green Gothic,” is held
in SAM’s library, which means that when
Manchanda searches for “Offenbacher” in
SAM’s internal system, she at first thinks
he is officially included in the permanent
collection, then no, then maybe, and finally:
no.
“That really pleases me, that my status
in relation to the museum is confusing,”
Offenbacher said, in his calm, gentle-voiced,
nonconfrontational way. He sounds curious.
He always sounds curious.
The only work of art SAM did not
acquire is Deed of Gift itself. That belongs
to Offenbacher and Nemhauser, and they’d
be willing to sell—but the price is $25,000,
which they would turn around and spend
the same way, on more art for a museum.
O
n April 21, SAM hosted a party
for the donors of all recent acquisitions. There were drinks
and hors d’oeuvres, and most of
the people were in fancy dress, suits and
ties. This was the final “window into how
SAM does things” that Offenbacher and
Nemhauser got. Artists
were also invited, and all sat
together at one table. No
seats were assigned, but the
tables ended up divided by
role anyway: donors, artists,
museum staffers.
Seattle artists Dawn
Cerny and Victoria Haven
were there. They collaborate under the pseudonym
Daft Kuntz, a name that’s a
play on “cunts” and kunst,
the German word for “art.”
Their 2012 silkscreen So
Good It Could Have Been
was also included in Deed
of Gift, so it was part of the
video slide show depicting all the acquisitions SAM has made so far in 2015. The
newest work in the slide show was Glosova’s
2014 Life on the Sidelines; the oldest were
Japanese prints from the 1790s. (This blew
Glosova’s mind.)
When the video got to the Daft Kuntz
silkscreen, you could at first see only the
top of the print, with the words “So good it
could have been” on a white background.
Then the camera scrolled slowly down to
see the rest of the words: “Made by a man.”
“Somebody later told me they were sitting behind Barney Ebsworth, and he was
audibly chuckling when it panned down,”
Haven said. “Because it’s softer and sentimental at the top, and then it hits you over
the head at the end.”
Ebsworth is a former cruise-ship and
Build-A-Bear tycoon who lives on the Eastside and owns a 20th-century American art
collection many museums covet—important
pieces by major artists. He has, or has given to SAM or the National Gallery of Art,
major works by David Hockney, Edward
Hopper, Charles Sheeler, Andy Warhol,
Georgia O’Keeffe, and other artists.
For a moment, the fan of American classics was enjoying two new American artists.
And the only reason that Daft Kuntz
piece was ever made in the first place was
because of a gendered insult.
After the opening of Elles at SAM in
2012, Haven and friends walked to a nearby
bar for drinks. Another piece of Haven’s
had been included in SAM’s Elles companion show, and a male artist—Haven won’t
say who it is—told her he loved her work.
“I don’t know why it has to be [in] an allfemale show,” he told her. “Your work is so
good, it could have been made by a man.” n
Offenbacher,
the original
instigator,
is the only
artist in all
of this who
does not have
art in SAM’s
collection.
THE STRANGER
May 6, 2015
21
GEORGE &
DRAGON
PUB
encouraged them to put on shows there.
As for how it felt watching her art entering SAM’s collection, she talked about it
like a parent giving away a child. “Somebody else will take care of it much better
than I ever would,” she said. “That’s huge
for an artist.” Being part of Deed of Gift
“kind of seems like the best thing that could
ever happen to an artist.”
Offenbacher admits with a smile that
the path Glosova’s painting took to get into
SAM’s collection was “extremely nonlinear.”
“We started with a very naive view,”
Nemhauser said.
“We didn’t realize how much of a political
process it is,” added Offenbacher.
Don’t forget that Offenbacher and Nemhauser started with a list of 50 artworks;
Deed of Gift ended up consisting of seven
total. As for what didn’t make the cut, all
the specifics of the conversations between
the donors and the museum are confidential. Nemhauser explained that artists in
Seattle are told often enough that they’re
inadequate that they don’t need to know
they were on the losing end of yet another
competition for scarce resources.
But it sounds like the curators and Offenbacher and Nemhauser
really hashed it out. “Those
conversations were substantive,” Nemhauser said.
At first, Nemhauser
wanted to donate more
obscure pieces. “That doesn’t
fly at all at a museum,” she
learned. The museum wants
an “iconic” piece by Wynne
Greenwood—one of her
nationally known videos, for
example—not one of her soft
sculptures. Greenwood’s signature 2007 video YOUNG
WOMAN WARRIOR PREPARED FOR BATTLE was
selected for Deed of Gift.
Over the course of months of e-mails,
phone calls, meetings, and studio visits,
there was horse trading. There were times
when the curators came back from the
director’s office with changes. Offenbacher
and Nemhauser never met the director or
any board members. “The idea of ‘women’s
experience’ came from the museum, and
‘feminist and queer thought’ was coming
from our side,” Nemhauser said. “So—
those met.”
Nemhauser and Offenbacher both
laughed, and she said, “It’s politics, right?
Museums are intensely conservative. It’s
more clear to me now why holes that everybody can see and point to don’t get filled
over time.”
In the end, Offenbacher and Nemhauser
spent $16,800 directly on the art. They
estimate they spent about $20,000 total on
Deed of Gift, including various expenses,
paying themselves an artists’ fee, and a
planned party. The artworks cost from
$5,000 down to $6 for a chapbook by Anne
Focke, who emerged in the 1970s by founding the interdisciplinary center and/or, and
went on to become a legendary Seattle artist/administrator.
The curator Manchanda argues that
Offenbacher continues Focke’s legacy. “She
redefined artistic practice at an earlier
time,” said Manchanda. “She writes, ‘the
patterns I make, the work I do, is functional
like a container… not simply a container for
something else. A form-er.’”
Likewise, Deed of Gift is functional like a
container, and it forms something new.
And think about this: Offenbacher, the
original instigator, is the only artist in all
of this who does not have art in SAM’s
collection. One issue of his zine, containing
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WED
MAY 6
The Shilohs
THU
A night of gentle music for easy humans. The Shilohs
(Vancouver, BC) are a sweet blast of heartfelt retro—
1960s Kinks–like pop bursting with handclaps and
boy harmonies and sprinkled with sincere rock à la
Teenage Fanclub. In the ever-rising sea of frayed
garage rock, the Shilohs keep their edges nicely
hemmed. Also playing are iji, Zach Burba’s everevolving smooth dance-pop project that will keep
you in the deepest groove, and the soft hug of Thousands, a duo bringing you acoustic hints of a more
whimsical Elliott Smith meeting a more timid Simon
and Garfunkel. (Sunset Tavern, 5433 Ballard Ave NW,
sunsettavern.com, 8 pm, $8, 21+) EMILY N O KE S
FRI
MAY 8
The Rentals
23
SO MUCH MORE AT
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‘Clouds of Sils Maria’
MAY 7
MUSIC
May 6, 2015
FILM
Firstly, Clouds of Sils Maria is directed by
one of the smartest and coolest (cool as
in Jim Jarmusch or Wong Kar-wai) directors
in the world, Olivier Assayas. Secondly, one
of its two stars is Juliette Binoche, a French
actress who has entered the splendid autumn of a career that began in the mid
’80s. She has become one of the queens of
cinema. Thirdly, the other star of the film,
Twilight’s Kristen Stewart, who plays the personal assistant of Binoche’s character,
Maria Enders, is just perfect. This role was made for this kind of human being,
this kind of American. (Seven Gables, 911 NE 50th St, landmarktheatres.com, 4:30,
7:10, and 9:45 pm, $10.50) C H ARLE S MUD E D E
MUSIC
Former Weezer bassist Matt Sharp (legend has it he was the magic ingredient that made Weezer so damn great, back when they
were so damn great) went on to form a very fun, very on-again/off-again exuberant, buzzing synthesizer pop project called the
Rentals (“Friends of P.” is their must-mixtape hit). With the switch recently flipped back to the on position, Sharp and his everrotating bandmates return with all the buoyant harmonies, black-framed glasses, and mid-’90s-flavored alt pop you can
handle. (Crocodile, 2200 Second Ave, thecrocodile.com, 8 pm, $15, all ages) E M I LY NOK E S
MAY 9
Small Pieces at SAM
SUN
MAY 10
ART
Every once in a while, you should go to the art museum not to see
the big exhibitions but to look for small moments, little pieces
to love. Right now at SAM, I recommend Harun Farocki’s Serious
Games, four channels of video playing simultaneously in a room,
enclosing you in a box of images. They follow soldiers training for
war, or coping with its aftermath, in actual therapeutic video
games and theatrical stagings. Go on to Joseph Cornell’s collages—eccentricity at its best—nearby (this is all on the third floor),
and finish with Robert Gober’s handmade urinal, which at first
looks sleek and slipcast, until it doesn’t, and turns into white
flesh. (Seattle Art Museum, 1300 First Ave, seattleartmuseum.org,
10 am–5 pm, pay what you can) JEN G R AVE S
MON
MAY 11
MARK NOMURA
SAT
Neil Michael Hagerty
As coleader of Royal Trux—America’s greatest
rock group of the ’90s—Neil Michael Hagerty
fused the Rolling Stones at their grittiest with
Ornette Coleman’s harmolodics. Since Royal
Trux’s split in 2001, guitarist/vocalist Hagerty
(who also played in Pussy Galore) has created a
huge canon of idiosyncratic, thorny avant rock
while changing personnel and approaches with every release. Of all
the underground rockers who bloomed in the ’80s, Hagerty remains
among the most adventurous, restlessly seeking new ways to wring
wicked magic out of rock’s moribund corpus—and succeeding more
often than not. (Black Lodge, 8:30 pm, all ages) D AV E SE GAL
This Is Washington Dammit!
Last year, more craft
breweries opened in
Washington than any other
state—83, according to the national
Brewers Association. (New York
came in a distant second with 67;
California came in third with 59.)
What better way to celebrate our
state’s beer-soaked supremacy
than by sampling 35 different
Washington-brewed beers (and one cider) from 35 different breweries for just $3.50 a
pint? The event, part of Seattle Beer Week (which runs May 7–17), is appropriately
titled “THIS IS WASHINGTON DAMMIT!” (Beveridge Place Pub, 6413 California Ave SW,
seattlebeerweek.com, noon–2 am) A N G EL A G A R B E S
BOOZE
TUE
MAY 12
Hallucinatory Maps
MUSIC
Gentlemen Take
Polaroids DJ Night
Named after a song by elegant British glam-pop
group Japan, Gentlemen Take Polaroids is a new
monthly DJ night dedicated to melodramatic music pertaining to romance and its complications and paradoxes. DJ
Domenica (who also cohosts The Buoy and Bellow Radio
Program on Hollow Earth Radio and spins at the Spread
Thick dance party) and her fellow selectors will air songs by
the emotionally fraught likes of Roxy Music, Dusty
Springfield, Timi Yuro, Scott Walker, Lee Hazlewood, the
Associates, and others. Prepare for a night of gorgeous
melodies and deep swooning. (Rendezvous, 2322 Second
Ave, jewelboxtheater.com, 7 pm, free, 21+) D AV E SE GAL
MUSIC
FILM
At times, measured doses of experimental cinema can actually serve to lighten the mood, rejuvenate the mind, and recalibrate the senses. I swear,
just try it! Start with this program, which showcases the work of oddball pastiche filmmaker Georg Koszulinski. Prepare (or better, don’t) to be led
through periods of narrative documentary about the American mystery full of ideas and introspective commentary and then to be suddenly cut loose
from the concrete: long sequences of layered ephemera, trance-inducing cutups of salvaged home movies, blown-out film, wild colors and visions. In
total, the hallucination should last two hours, beamed into existence both digitally and through beautiful 16-mm film. (Grand Illusion, 1403 NE 50th St,
grandillusioncinema.org, 7 pm, $9) K R IS H A N U R AY
24
May 6, 2015
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Theater…below Books…27 The High List…29
I Don’t Even Know Where to Begin
Talking About Beware of the Dandelions
Detroit Collective Complex Movements Is Aptly Named
BY BRENDAN KILEY
May 6, 2015
25
about their work with the Black Panthers in
the Deep South, as well as current struggles
in Detroit), the conversation was a little livelier. People talked about generational conflict
within “the movement” and so on, and I asked
a question. Complex Movements frequently
references Grace Lee Boggs, its 99-year-old
Chinese American activist mentor, and her
talk about complex science and emergence
theory (defined by Wikipedia as “a process
whereby larger entities, patterns, and regularities arise through interactions among
smaller or simpler entities that themselves do
not exhibit such properties”): What do they
have to do with culture, activism, and conflict
within “the movement”?
Then Invincible/ill told a story.
They had just returned from Detroit,
where they had gone for a few days of downtime. (They prefer gender-neutral pronouns.)
But, shortly after they arrived, a federal Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent
shot and killed 20-year-old Terrance Kellom,
the cousin of a dear friend. Kellom was supposedly hiding out at his father’s house after
stealing some cash and pizzas from a delivery
guy. Officials say Kellom was shot because he
was “wielding” a hammer—the father, who
watched as his son was gunned down, as well
as press reports, contradict this claim. Then
reporters dug up the ICE agent’s long and
troubling history of domestic and on-the-job
A hiphop epic about a
toxified future-world where
people revolt against an
elite class in a communistic,
nonhierarchical, ecofriendly way.
DOUG COOMBE
COMPLEX MOVEMENTS The Detroit-based art-activist collective: Wesley Taylor, Waajeed, Invincible/ill, and Carlos Garcia (L05).
L
ast month, while working on a preview
of Beware of the Dandelions, a show
by Detroit-based collective Complex Movements at On the Boards, I kept running into
a stubborn problem: Nobody seemed able to
describe what it actually was.
People generally agreed that the show
involved a small audience inside a videodrenched “pod,” as well as hiphop, audience
participation, and social-justice issues. As the
company (sort of) explained in an e-mail:
Audience members play the role of postapocalyptic survivors in a parable that
tracks the plight of a community struggling to create change and new societies…
The experience in the pod begins to help
communities understand how the ideas
of complex sciences are applicable to local social-justice issues. The story unfolds
through projected animation, immersive
sound, and interactive components.
I still couldn’t quite picture it.
To complicate matters, the collective had
scheduled weeks of events, video installations,
and “community conversations” featuring local activists: prison abolitionists, food-justice
advocates, leaders of “undoing racism” workshops, and so on. Typically, when a company
comes to On the Boards, it hangs out for a few
days, does its theater or dance, maybe teaches
a master class, and then decamps to the next
city. What was Complex Movements—and On
the Boards—up to?
After taking a few trips to the pod, I can
understand why people have trouble describ- Invincible/ill were a little tough to follow.
The performers are hidden, except for a
ing Beware of the Dandelions. It’s not one
thing, but three things stacked on top of each brief appearance at the end, but video images
other: a political proposition (Detroit artists streak across the interior walls of the pod:
take over a Seattle theater with an unusual raindrops, silhouettes of vines and barbed
degree of autonomy), a performance (the wire, gutted buildings, digitized faces, bloompod), and a conversation the collective wants ing dandelions (a symbol, as you might have
us to have with ourselves about racism, capi- guessed by now, of populist resilience).
The audience is then encouraged to chant
talism, and resistance.
Let’s start in the middle of this triple- “WAGE LOVE” while being led to another
decker sandwich with a concrete, spoiler- room for a postshow discussion “circle,”
alert account of the show itself—which, de- where things get even more sincere. (This is
spite all the rhetorical fog, is actually quite the third part of the sandwich: conversations.)
simple. Small audiences are escorted into the After the performance, one woman quietly
sobbed into her hands, one man ofegg-shaped pod for about an hour
fered robust “mmm-hmms” after
and listen to a hiphop epic about a
PREVIEW
hearing sentiments he agreed with,
toxified future-world where people
Beware of the
a couple of people looked like they
revolt against an elite class called
Dandelions
“the Captains of Industry” in a Complex Movements were trying to suppress smirks,
and most of the rest of us wore
communistic, nonhierarchical, ecoat On the Boards
studiedly neutral smiles. It was
friendly way. You may be familiar
May 7–10
difficult to tell what we were collecwith the old communistic tension
between Vladimir Lenin and Rosa Luxem- tively thinking. That night, the conversation
burg: He advocated for top-down revolution- was a little strained, with shy audience memary cells led by elite and trained cadres; she bers and a nervous local activist-facilitator.
It would be dishonest to omit the fact that
fought for horizontal, spontaneous uprising
from below. (For what it’s worth, he died in being released into the fresh night air was a
bed and was venerated. She was shot in the relief. I have no opposition to love, and also
street and thrown into a canal.) Dandelions suspect capitalism isn’t the most intelligent
takes the Luxemburg line. Sample lyrics: “In- or humane way to organize our affairs, but
stead of being trapped / controlled and grown socially compulsory chanting and sharing—
in rows / we the wild seeds that overthrow / however well-intentioned and solidaritydreams take root / deep in the soil / cracking minded—gives me the heebie-jeebies.
This weekend, after attending one of the
the street / and reach like sequoias…” Unfortunately, on the night I attended, the sound installations (a series of video interviews with
was not at peak clarity and the lyrics by MC mostly African American activists talking
violence. Something had to be done. So Invincible/ill and others in Detroit organized a
march near the scene of the killing. After a
little chanting and a press conference, they
expected the crowd to disperse. It did not.
As a massive green paddy wagon pulled
up, Invincible/ill said, organizers negotiated
with police and the crowd, trying to prevent
a mass arrest. But then Invincible/ill and a
few others started spreading the word that
there was a legal loophole. The crowd could
hold the intersection and avoid arrest if they
kept moving by marching in a circle through
the crosswalks. The worst the police could do
in that case—legally, anyway—was hand out
tickets for jaywalking. The demonstrators
whispered that to each other, person to person, and the tactic worked. “The way that was
achieved,” Invincible/ill said, “was small-scale
communication—like ants, like starlings…
that’s emergence. A complex system made up
of relationships, and not just moving parts.”
Detroit has become a point of fascination
for people who are curious about capitalism
and its failures: 39.3 percent of its residents
live in poverty, 26 percent of its residential
parcels are vacant, 30 percent of its streetlights are out, tens of thousands of people
are facing water shutoffs, and businesses are
muscling in to privatize branches of government, including utilities. It is also a place that
is finding collective ways of solving problems
in the bottom-up, Luxemburg, Dandelions
mode—crowdfunded and solar-powered
streetlights, volunteer groundskeeper crews
to tend neglected city parks, collective urban
gardens to ensure that neighborhoods have
access to fresh produce. This is the home of
Complex Movements.
Given all this, in which vicinity of Beware
of the Dandelions should the critic point and
say, “There’s the art and I think X about it”?
The pod? The awkward conversations? The
26
May 6, 2015
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FEDORA EL MORRO
DUMP SITE Gothic, mysterious, and ADA compliant.
astonishingly revelatory conversations?
However murky that question may be, it’s
at least clear that the members of Complex
Movements have not just come to show us
some work—they’re here for the emergence. n
ism, transforming us into a flock of mute, glitter-eyed witnesses peering from corners and
through trees. Encouraged to explore the
environments and find clues, viewers become
scavengers, moving and shuffling like crows
to get the best view of the grisly action. n
T H E AT E R
Dump Site
Immerses
Audience in
a Macabre,
Mesmerizing
Horror Play
BOOKS
Resurrecting
Denise Levertov
Rebecca Brown Talks
Breathing the Water,
a Celebration of the
Northwest Poet
BY RICH SMITH
BY SARRA SCHERB
N
ever has the plural “a murder of crows”
seemed more apt than in Dump Site,
the macabre, mesmerizing new show by Seattle Immersive Theatre. A particularly Northwest blend of dark forests, deep silences,
and serial killers, the horror unfolds in three
custom-built environments in a warehouse in
Sodo, transformed by the company into 8,500
echoing feet of gothic, mysterious, taxidermied menace, replete with cocktails.
Dump Site’s plot is classic horror movie:
Siblings Reed (Simon Hamlin) and Charlotte
(Evelyn DeHais) meet in their late father’s
storage unit to go through his effects, only to
discover a mysterious videotape—featuring
the eerie, effective Rebekah Boroughs as a
teenage runaway—that shatters their fond
memories of Daddy.
The tropes are familiar—unraveling tortured artist, shovel radiating menace in the
corner, web of yarn and pins on a conspiracytheory map, conflation of young female victims with birds—but the reason the show
works (and it does, deliREVIEW
ciously) is because we’re
used to watching this stuff
Dump Site
on a screen. Dump Site
Seattle Immersive
puts us right in the thick
Theatre
of it.
Through June 7
Though the audience
isn’t called upon to interact (a mercy), we’re
not just spectators, either. Each audience
member dons a black mask in the shape of
a hybrid finch/raven—each a beautiful resin
cast by Gage instructor Elijah Evenson.
(Though the show is ADA compliant, woe is
anyone who needs to wear glasses in their
mask.) However commonplace they are in
such immersive productions (hello, Sleep No
More), audience masks are an inspired device.
They remove the temptation to watch fellow
spectators and heighten the sense of voyeur-
A
fter her death in 1997, the poet Denise
Levertov was buried just up the hill
from Bruce Lee in Lake View Cemetery. The
pairing has always made absolute sense to me.
Levertov was a feminist poet, an environmentalist poet, an antiwar poet,
but she was also a fiery pilPREVIEW
grim who never wanted to
Breathing
be known as any of those
the Water: A
Celebration things. She also liked to
shop at Elliott Bay Book
of Denise
Company, attend church at
Levertov
St. Joseph, and go for tea at
Various locations
Through May 16
the Sorrento with her friend
Jan. Apropos of tea, Bruce
Lee said, “When you pour water in a teapot,
it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow, or
drip, or creep, or crash. Be water, my friend.”
With the help of volunteers and St. Joseph Parish, the writer and treasure Rebecca
Brown has organized Breathing the Water,
a three-week-long celebration of Levertov’s
work that will culminate on May 16, which
the City of Seattle has declared Denise Levertov Day. To get the lowdown on Levertov,
I caught up with Brown by phone.
Levertov wrote nearly 30 books, mostly poetry, but also a few prose collections. Where
did you start with her?
For me, the early stuff is just wellbehaved, imitative work. It’s about the muse
and the body, and there’s all sorts of conclusions in them—whatever. The work got really
interesting with some of the political poetry
later. And the last four or five books—Sands
of the Well, Evening Train, A Door in the
Hive, The Great Unknowing—they’re about
the big, big issues: the whole “What is a
mountain? Who’s God? What’s knowledge?”
thing. In those later books, she’s more in the
presence of her materials. Art. The quest
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for God. Her impending death and illness.
And I found something in her posthumous
collection, The Great Unknowing, that was
more than just poetry for me. A kind of openended seeking, not the frantic seeking I’m
much more familiar with.
You mean personally?
Oh, absolutely. The last poem of hers that
was published in her last book is called “Primary Wonder,” and it’s a knockout. It feels
as if she’s getting it for the first time that
there’s something rather than nothing.
I think I’m safe in saying that Stranger readers
aren’t widely known for being awed by the
Christian mysteries. Does Levertov offer some
pleasures to skeptics and raging atheists?
Yep. Her political stuff is fucking fierce. In
one of her later poems, “News Report, September 1991,” she uses testimony from an article written in the Seattle Times about how
our American soldiers bulldozed over 4,000
Iraqi people. It’s brutal. If you added up all
Levertov’s poems, the majority aren’t about
the Christian thing. We can’t fuck the environment and we can’t fuck other countries
anymore, because that’s wrong: That’s the
bigger chunk of her work. Also: her attitude.
She misbehaved appropriately.
Why this celebration of her life now?
During much of her lifetime, she was up
at the top of the heap in terms of literary accomplishment. She got the Guggenheim and
taught at Stanford. She was published by
New Directions. But now nobody teaches her.
She’s not part of the contemporary conversations about poetry. And I find that a large
THE HIGH LIST
RECOMMENDED
EVENTS FOR STONERS
BY E M I LY N O K E S
New Kids on the Block, TLC,
Nelly
MUSIC Wed May 6, Tacoma Dome (2727
East D St, Tacoma)
OMG, my grade-school, middle-school,
and high-school selves are ecstatic right
now—not only because this lineup represents very important songs, posters, and
music videos from each of those eras, but
also because seventh-grade me still cannot
wrap her mind around the joys of legalized
marijuana. Belly-button rings and copious
amount of shiny denim are encouraged.
Nearby snack: Southern Kitchen (1716
Sixth Ave, Tacoma) serves down-home faves
like fried catfish, fried chicken, and, most deliciously, hush puppies (fried cornbread)! AND
they’ve been visited by the Food Network’s
human hedgehog/schnauzer hybrid GUY
FIERI, so you know it’s legitimately caloric.
An Evening of Edgy Culture
MUSIC Thurs May 7, Vermillion (1508
11th Ave)
Dig this night of sounds informed by/assisted by/best enjoyed with marijuana—free
jazz, natch—featuring local legends SUBDUCTION ZONE (Wally Shoup on alto sax,
Dennis Rea on electric guitar, Tom Zgonc on
drums), plus solo trumpeter Greg Kelley and
poet Doug Nufer.
Nearby snack: What Rancho Bravo
(1001 E Pine St) lacks in decor, or even a
sign, they make up for in satisfying tamales,
nachos, tacos, and more.
National Coconut Cream Pie Day
PIE Fri May 8, Dahlia Bakery (2001
Fourth Ave)
ARTS
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THE STRANGER
May 6, 2015
29
NEW LOCATION - NOW OPEN!
part of me wants to belligerently say: “Fuck
you. She’s interesting.”
Why has she fallen off the radar?
There are all kinds of reasons. She didn’t
want to be put in a box, but she was clearly
part of communities. She wanted to be acknowledged by her mentors—William Carlos
Williams and Robert Duncan—but she didn’t
want to live in their shadows. She was using
and being aware of her femaleness as access,
but not wanting to be just a girl, or the only
girl with the boys, or the “feminist poet.” And
yet, when she was the poetry editor for the
Nation, she published more women than anyone had before.
In her famous poem “Making Peace,” she
wrote: “But peace, like a poem, / is not there
ahead of itself, can’t be imagined before it is
made, / can’t be known except / in the words
of its making, / grammar of justice, / syntax
of mutual aid.” The clear suggestion is that
poetry, or maybe just language, could be a
means to achieving peace in a political sense.
Do you find Levertov naive on this point?
It goes back to the tension between the
Shelley line “Poets are the unacknowledged
legislators of the world” and the Auden line
“Poetry makes nothing happen.” The poem
won’t put a bowl of soup in front of you. But I
certainly do believe and have seen people respond to literature in a way that is necessary
for the continuation of their lives. It gives them
a spark of the sense of their own validity. I
taught nontraditional students who were treated as or assumed to be stupid, and in talking
about poetry, I saw them discover that they’re
not stupid. That’s extremely powerful. n
National Coconut Cream Pie Day is today
(which stoned-ass mayor approves these
cah-raaazy holidays?), and Dahlia Bakery—
makers of the best coconut cream pie in
town—are hosting a pie-eating contest “to
see how many mini pie bites 25 contestants can eat in two minutes.” TGINCCPD,
amiright?
Nearby snack: Oh what the hell, Serious
Pie (316 Virginia St) is directly next door
to Dahlia. Slap some gourmet pizza pie
on that gourmet coconut cream pie. You
deserve it.
Average Joe Cat Show
CATS Sat May 9, Spartan Recreation
Center (202 NE 185th St, Shoreline)
Enough of these highfalutin purebred
model cats with perfect fur—it’s time we
celebrate regular felines! The Average Joe
Cat Show includes categories like “loudest
purr,” “best cat in a box,” and “most impressive ear hair” and is hosted by Purrfect
Pals, Washington’s no-kill cat shelter. Pro
tip: There will be friends available for adoption at this event, which is a decision you
should make before you pick up the bong.
Nearby snack: If you love eating in
your car, Burgermaster (9820 Aurora Ave
N) will bring a hormone-free burger and
fancy shake out to your vehicle, just like
the olden days before people knew about
sitting inside restaurants.
‘Henry Horenstein: Racing Days’
ART Through June 13, Photographic
Center Northwest (900 12th Ave)
Contemplate the strange sport of people
betting money on (smaller) people riding
very fast horses. This exhibit features Henry
Horenstein’s black-and-white photographs
chronicling characters—bettors, trainers,
jockeys, clockers—found at racetracks across
the US in the 1970s and early ’80s.
Nearby snack: For Vietnamese street
food, Ba Bar (550 12th Ave) has a pretty
tasty happy hour from 3 to 6 p.m. n
“America’s Greatest Lawn”
–WeSeedAmerica.com
a 150-acre public garden
on bainbridge island.
www.bloedelreserve.org
1021 6th Ave. S. Seattle, WA 98134
206-623-2740 [email protected]
30
May 6, 2015
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Café Nordo’s latest show “Don Nordo del
Midwest” runs every Thurs-Sun evening
now through June at Nordo’s Culinarium,
their new venue in Pioneer Square.
Photo Credit: Bruce Clayton Tom
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31
CHOW
COURTESY OF CANLIS
LIKE AN OPULENT SHIP Canlis is gorgeous and sleek, a mid-century-modern dream of clean lines and striking natural elements.
What Is It Like Eating at Seattle’s
Most Exclusive Restaurant?
Behind the Curtain at Canlis
BY ANGELA GARBES
D
espite having lived in Seattle for 16 years, I have never eaten at Canlis, arguably the city’s most iconic and revered
(not to mention expensive) restaurant. Canlis has always seemed
like it was for other people—people who drive “He’s a 28-year-old helming a 65-year-old
luxury cars, not people, like me, who drive ship. Canlis is like a 60-foot-long yacht cruisToyota Corollas with tape decks. But there’s ing through the ocean. It’s beautiful.”
According to Brian Canlis, that yacht is
no denying or escaping the restaurant’s reputation and status. Canlis, founded in 1950, still more accessible than ever. “We fight this
routinely appears on “essential Seattle” and reputation that we are a crazy-expensive,
old-people restaurant. That’s not really the
“best of ” dining lists.
But in March, when the restaurant an- case,” he said. “Here’s the thing: Special and
nounced it had hired a new executive chef, I accessible are not mutually exclusive. We’re
also reaching for more beautiful
was intrigued. Brady Williams, just
Canlis
plates and dishes. We don’t want to
28 years old, was most recently
2576 Aurora Ave N,
become cheaper and more casual.”
sous chef at Roberta’s in Bushwick,
283-3313
The words “cheap,” “casual,”
Brooklyn, a wood-fired pizzeria
made from cinder blocks and shipping con- and “Canlis” don’t even belong in the same
tainers that features an indoor garden and, sentence. Pulling up to the restaurant, I was
oh, a 12-seat, two-Michelin-star restaurant immediately made aware of this fact: There,
called Blanca that serves a $195 tasting menu. neatly parked in a row by valets, were three
Hiring Williams was a surprising move for a Mercedes-Benzes, a Jaguar, a Land Rover,
restaurant steeped in tradition, perhaps one and a glossy red Mini Cooper.
Inside, it’s easy to see why Brian Canlis
reaching toward a different, younger audience.
“It’s surprising only because he is so likened the restaurant to an opulent ship:
young,” said Brian Canlis, grandson of the It’s gorgeous and sleek. Windows line the
restaurant’s founder, Peter Canlis, who runs entire east-facing side of the restaurant, ofthe family business with his brother Mark. fering unmatched views of Lake Union and
the Cascades. At night, tiny lights hidden in
the ceiling mirror the twinkling lights of the
city. The Roland Terry–designed building is a
mid-century-modern dream of clean lines and
striking natural elements, including a dark
wood and stone interior.
In the dining room, formal attire unites
servers and diners adhering to Canlis’s dress
code (men are asked to wear a suit or sport
coat). “I love the fact that people dress up for
“Special and accessible
are not mutually exclusive.
We don’t want to become
cheaper and more casual.”
dinner,” said Brian Canlis. “I think our city
needs at least one place like that. Dressing up
tells me that this night is different from any
other night.” Indeed, part of the pleasure of
dining at Canlis actually happens before you
arrive, when you’re at home, getting dressed
with your date, perhaps enjoying a predinner cocktail and getting a little tipsy on the
anticipation of what the night might hold.
And if you didn’t already realize that your
night was going to be special, you’ll know it
the moment the food—brought to you by a
fleet of flawlessly choreographed servers,
hosts, bussers, and sommeliers (everyone
does a little bit of everything here, and they all
do it very well)—arrives at your table. From
the first bite of steak tartare—unctuous mini
cubes of Wagyu beef nestled in a delicate, savory tuile—it was clear that the kitchen aims
to blow your mind. And it succeeds.
Canlis’s current eight-course tasting
menu ($145 per person) is remarkable. It’s a
respectful yet playful interpretation of the
restaurant’s classic dishes, executed with modern techniques and an abundance of local and
seasonal flourishes. (It’s worth noting that a
highly skilled and confident kitchen staff conceived of the menu during the months Canlis
was operating without an executive chef.)
Along with steak tartare, the meal starts
with two other dishes: a small portion of the
iconic Canlis salad, unchanged in 65 years,
featuring romaine, bacon, oregano, Parmesan, and mint tossed in a little wooden bowl
with a flat, thin “crouton” laid on top like a
lid. Atop that sit two sweet, quivering tomato
hearts. (The salad was too salty, but that was
the only disappointing part of the meal.) Then
there’s the teriyaki beef, which you prepare
yourself: A slice of raw meat comes on a plank
of wood, and you cook it on an accompanying hot stone using tweezers, then squirt on
a little teriyaki sauce from a plastic capsule
and garnish the dish with bits of green onion.
Think of it as an icebreaker—a slightly awkward but fun excuse to roll up your sleeves.
The rest of the meal is a bit of a blur,
32
May 6, 2015
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each course more delicious and impressive than the last. There are lightly smoked
rectangles of salmon served with big, briny
spheres of roe and set amid a tangy yogurt
and a verdant but mild Bibb lettuce sauce.
The whole dish is topped with a few leaves of
miner’s lettuce, whose lovely, lemony presence won’t last much longer through spring.
Squab was served two ways: breast meat
cooked to a perfect, rare purple, and confit
thigh—deep, dark, satiny, and begging to be
picked up and sucked clean to its tiny bone.
The carrot puree served alongside was
stunning in both sweetness and acidity. Surprisingly, there’s no citrus or vinegar added:
The carrots are simply fermented in salt for
a month.
My favorite course was the updated version of Peter Canlis’s prawns,
traditionally prepared with garlic, lime, and
dry vermouth. Two prawns are served: one,
head on, poached in butter then marked
for a few moments on the grill, its texture
slightly firm but still so rich that it seemed
to melt on the tongue. It held just a whisper
of char and smoke, and the perfect amount
of lime to cut the buttery fat. I got so lost in
the moment that I didn’t think twice about
breaking its head off with my fingers and
crunching through the whole spiny thing, its
juice running down my chin.
The other prawn is served, simply, raw—
perfect and sweet. The prawns had arrived
from Anacortes that afternoon, from a guy
who Williams had found to be his supplier.
The new chef, whose first day on the job was
April 13, is clearly wasting no time making
use of the best the Pacific Northwest has to
offer.
Unsurprisingly, service at Canlis is outstanding, if a bit rehearsed. Everyone is
From the first bite of steak
tartare, it was clear that the
kitchen aims to blow your
mind. And it succeeds.
clearly knowledgeable about the food being served but, more importantly, when
they don’t know the answer to a question,
they say so, and come back promptly with
a response. The experience is designed and
executed so that every diner feels cared for
and respected.
While Canlis patrons may be younger
than they’ve been in the past, the majority of
them are still well over 50 and overwhelmingly white. The most accessible thing about my
dinner at Canlis happened at the start of the
evening, when the piano player played “Say
My Name” by Destiny’s Child as we were being escorted from the lounge to our table. We
got so excited that we sang along and it felt,
at least for a moment, like we might actually
belong in such an exclusive club. (Later, when
the piano player walked by our table and we
expressed our appreciation, he laughed and
said, “Pretty sure you guys are the only people in this place who noticed that.”)
Small moments like this might reflect a
thoughtful shift toward greater accessibility. But don’t expect change to come quickly.
This is still, after all, a restaurant where
female servers were made to wear kimonos
as uniforms until 1996. The third generation
of Canlises have been making adjustments
since they began running the restaurant in
2005, but as Brian Canlis noted during his
yacht metaphor, “You don’t crank the rudder when you hop on, you start with a small
course correction.” n
Comment on this review at
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THE CENTRAL DISTRICT IS GETTING
LOTS OF CHICKEN AND WAFFLES
Darren McGill, owner of Rainier Beach’s
Nate’s Wings & Waffles, announced he
plans to open a second location in south
Capitol Hill/Central District this fall. Just
days later, Marcus Lalario (Li’l Woody’s, 95
Slide) announced he’ll also be opening a
chicken and waffles joint in the neighborhood. Fat’s Fried Chicken and Waffles
will take over the space long held by
Catfish Corner. Fat’s is aiming for a July or
August opening.
PRESTON MILLER NAMED NEW CHEF DE
CUISINE AT BAR SAJOR
Bar Sajor chef de cuisine Edouardo Jordan
has departed to open his own restaurant,
Salare, in Ravenna later this summer.
Owner Matt Dillon has named Jordan’s
replacement: Preston Miller, formerly sous
chef at Dillon’s Sitka & Spruce and, most
recently, the Breslin in New York City.
Also new: Sajor is now serving a regular
weekend brunch with dishes like smoked
halibut pâté, cinnamon-and-juniper rolls,
rhubarb turnovers, and baked eggs with
ramps and morels.
MOLLY WIZENBERG AND CHEFSTEPS
WIN JAMES BEARD AWARDS
Seattle writer Molly Wizenberg and local
company ChefSteps won top honors at
the James Beard Book, Broadcast, and
Journalism Awards ceremony held on April
24 in New York City. Wizenberg won best
individual food blog for her food blog
Orangette, while ChefSteps won in the
best video webcast and the visual and
technical excellence categories. n
May 6, 2015
33
AIR CONDITIONING! BY ANGELA GARBES
JAPANESE NOODLES AND ICE CREAM
COME TO CAPITOL HILL
Japan-based Kukai Ramen & Izakaya
(320 E Pine St, 844-585-2487) has opened
its third Seattle-area location on Capitol
Hill. (Kukai’s other two locations, in Bellevue and Northgate, have been open
since 2012 and 2014, respectively.) Diners
can expect the same menu and decor.
Speaking of Japanese noodle shops,
the second outpost of fresh noodle shop
U:Don (1640 12th Ave, 466-1471) opened
on the same day just up the road in the
12th Avenue Arts building. The new U:Don
serves an expanded menu and, unlike the
original University District location, sake
and beer. The building’s food and drink options will expand later this spring with the
opening of Pel’Meni Dumpling Tzar and
Rachel’s Ginger Beer, which, along with
its signature ginger beer, will also serve
cocktails and hand-cut french fries with an
array of dipping sauces.
Kurt Timmermeister’s Kurt Farm Shop
(1424 11th Ave, 696-9999) is the first business in Capitol Hill’s new Chophouse Row
building to open its doors. (Other tenants slated to open in the coming months
include Sara Naftaly’s Amandine bakery,
Ericka Burke’s Chop Shop Cafe and Bar,
and Matt Dillon’s Bar Ferd’nand II.) Timmermeister will be serving ice cream made
from the milk of the Jersey cows on his
Vashon Island farm, which have been better known as the suppliers of Dinah’s and
Flora’s cheeses. Farm Shop’s opening flavors
include strawberry, Jersey cream, and Flora’s
cheese. The shop will also sell a selection of
Northwest-made cheeses, as well as plant
and fruit starts from Timmermeister’s farm.
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May 6, 2015
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MUSIC
and Art of Movement B-boy crew member
Chase “Cha Cha” Malone, “the younger people that he thought had potential, and bring
them together and make a team that represented his brand of Mash Hall. Hence: the M
Team, the Mash Team.”
Fox has since become something of a
cultural ambassador/consultant, brokering
agreements with companies like Red Bull,
Starbucks, and Sub Pop among other corporations that seek to use breakdancers in
promotional campaigns. His mediation has
proven beneficial both to the dancers, for
whom he helps negotiate deals, and to the cli-
“Get the boom boxes out
of the background, and
don’t make them wear
Adidas suits and fat gold
chains. All this ’80s bullshit
nobody does.”
WILLIAM OLGUIN
THEM TEAM Member and world champion solo B-boy battler Thias “Thesis” Lopez.
Breakdance Crew Them Team
Celebrates 10 Years of Preserving
Northwest B-boy Culture
BY TODD HAMM
Hall love family thicker than blood.” MC Ronnie
“M ash
Voice laid down those words 20 years ago on “Straight
Outta West Coast,” the first song created by the hiphop group that
would come to be known as Mash Hall. The from the jaws of novelty and nostalgia.
Fox says the desire to preserve the legacy
line has become something of a mantra (not to
mention at least one pair of forearm tattoos) of breaking was a major component of the defor the loose collective of creative friends and cision to form Them Team in the first place.
associates that has been ringing bells in break- “Originally,” he tells me over coffee, “it was
kind of to protect, and to have outside people
dancing and rap circles across the region.
Voice and his cousin Kip Fox (better known show respect to, what we were doing.”
Having come of age in the ’90s, when breakas djblesOne) came of age in the 1990s, living
up and down the West Coast, from Los Angeles ing was already seen by many as something
and Oakland to Portland and Seattle, making that died in the ’80s, or was inextricably tied
to gang culture, Fox was used
music about their core interto his interests being downests: rapping, B-boying, DJing,
Them Team
10 Year Anniversary
played and disregarded by
and writing graffiti. The name
Sat May 9, Q Nightclub,
event organizers. After moving
of their group is a reference to
2–8 pm, $10, all ages
to Seattle in the early 2000s and
this cultural mash-up, which
finding work on the club circuit,
Mash Hall strives to translate
into music as danceable as dancehall… with- he decided to try to make the road better for
dancers from the front and back ends.
out sounding anything like dancehall.
“The dancers were getting treated like
Them Team is the breakdancing counterpart of the Mash Hall project, an outgrowth sideshows,” Fox remembers. It awakened in
of the collective and a stand-alone phenom- him a protective instinct. “That was one of the
enon; the groups often perform together and things in forming Them Team: If these guys
share Fox/djblesOne as a founding member. ever needed someone to talk to promoters or
As the footprint of Seattle hiphop continues anyone in a business way, or to ask advice like
to deepen, Mash Hall and its associates— ‘Is this good or am I getting taken advantage
especially sister group Don’t Talk to the of? What should I be getting here?’ I was alCops!—have gained an increasing national ways available for them to help, because I don’t
profile while their local prominence remains want to see people being taken advantage of.”
That sense of looking out for his fellow
strong. But it’s not like that for breakdancing.
Whereas hiphop has only become more and travelers—the love family thicker than blood
more central to mass culture over the 30-plus aspect—has been the key element of Fox’s
years of its existence, breaking made a big, approach to B-boy cultural preservation.
“[Fox] wanted to gather some of his closest
brief splash and was subsequently relegated
to the fringes, forced to snatch legitimacy friends in Seattle,” explains music producer
ents, whom he nudges away from the clichéd
framing devices that often go along with representations of B-boy culture by outsiders.
“Like, get the boom boxes out of the background, and don’t make them wear Adidas
suits and fat gold chains,” he says. “All this
bullshit nobody does. That’s all ’80s stuff, and
some of those kids weren’t even born in that
era… nobody needs or cares for these big outside companies to make them look corny. At
this point, if you don’t know or respect what
we’re doing, we’re not messing with you.”
Them Team has now been around for 10
years. Fox will celebrate the decade-long run
Saturday at an all-day, all-ages party and
break battle with the rest of the Them Team
crew: B-boys Thesis, Tim the Pit, Cha Cha,
Chico, Juse Boogey, Roc, Mango, Junior, and
Dial Tone. But as much as the anniversary is
cause for revelry, it’s also an important part
of the ongoing campaign to reestablish the
legitimacy of breakdancing as a popular form.
To that end, Fox and his business/life partner, Megan “Emecks” Xaybanha, purchased
a pair of billboards to advertise the party (and
the accomplishment that occasions it), one at
the corner of Madison and 16th on Capitol
Hill, the other at 45th and Roosevelt in the
U-District. Them Team’s 10-year anniversary
party is one of only two certified Pro Breaking Tour events to hit Seattle this year—the
long-running annual Massive Monkees Day
fell last month. And while billboards are a familiar signifier of showbiz ambition, they also
represent a very different significance within
the community they’re addressing, and even
within the crew they’re advertising.
“Stuff like that gives us B-boys, especially
B-boys who don’t have that much but have a
lot to offer, that gives us hope,” says Them
Team member and world champion solo Bboy battler Thias “Thesis” Lopez. Seeing
those billboards “gives us the inspiration
and motivation that we can actually create
something out of ourselves. Bles is pretty
much the outlook on that. He’s pretty much
the guy who’s doing that the most in Seattle.
It’s always inspiring to talk to him, he always
shows his respect to people, and he always
has something—an idea for them that they
can possibly do to better themselves.” n
Better yourself at
THESTRANGER.COM/MUSIC
dinner &
show
WED/MAY 6 • 7:30PM
liz longley /
anthony d’amato
THU/MAY 7 • 7:30PM
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howard jones
FRI/MAY 8 • 8PM
nellie mckay
w/ ben ballinger
SAT/MAY 9 • 7PM & 10PM
LILY VERLAINE PRESENTS
nightcap:
l’edition noire
SUN/MAY 10 • 7:30PM
in dreams: a live
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luke wade
w/ tommy simmons
TUE/MAY 12 • 7:30PM
susan galbraith,
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I knew better, which is why my heart broke
when, six short months later, the dryer in my
apartment stopped rotating during its drying cycle while still blasting heat. A majority
of the shirt was charred, but by some freaky
act of divinity—like when a single house is
left standing in a tornado-ravaged county—
the image of Neil Diamond was spared. Now
we were both shirtless.
Over the course of two nights, I carefully
cut the graphic away from the carbonized
T-shirt and hand-stitched it to the back of a
blue Rustler denim jacket that never quite fit
right. I christened it the Forever in Blue Jean
jacket and wore it everywhere.
Years later, I wore it to my first-ever Neil
Diamond concert at Toyota Center in Houston, joined by my girlfriend at the time. I
scored a free pair of tickets from the publisher of Houston Press, where I was working at
the time. The seats weren’t great: nosebleeds
in a side wing, high above the main floor, but
the show was magnificent, packed to the gills
with decades of hits, performed with all the
schmaltz, pomp, and dazzle one expects from
a true showman. As he sang “America,” an
eagle soared across the wind-rippled canopy
of a blazing American flag on the Jumbotron,
and I bopped along in a surreal communion
with the near-capacity arena crowd of grandmothers, daughters, and a tiny minority of
NEIL DIAMOND He got the way to move me, Cherry, he got the way
stray males dragged along by their spouses.
to groove me.
None of this was enough to keep my girlfriend
awake. She slept through at least half of the
show. On the way out, the only merchandise
I could afford was a bumper sticker that said
“I’d Rather Be at a Neil Diamond Concert.
World Tour 2005.”
I moved to Seattle the following year, stopping back in Redding to collect the things I’d
stored at my mom’s house before moving to
Houston. It was comforting to picture my secret Neil Diamond records in the closet where
I’d left them. But they weren’t there. Because
many of them were marked up with Sharpie
and collage, my mom had assumed they were
junk and donated the lot. I was devastated.
B Y T R AV I S R I T T E R
All those records, discarded, dispersed, dry
omewhere in the world, possibly in a eventually found someone I could bond with your eyes, come dry your eyes. I could never
landfill, or in some dusty basement of over Neil Diamond, and I lost my virginity to bring myself to rebuild the collection. It was
a thrift store in Northern California, there her. Girl, You’ll Be a Woman Soon.
too much to bear. Despite the undeniable
Neil Diamond had become cool again in kitsch factor that rides shotgun in Neil Diais a copy of the Neil Diamond LP September
Morn with Neil’s eyes bloodshot by a red the 1990s. After Urge Overkill covered “Girl, mond’s cultural stretch limousine, the project
You’ll Be a Woman Soon” on of collecting and even defacing those albums
Sharpie marker, and a blackthe Pulp Fiction soundtrack, had been an act of discovering love among
ened, bleeding red pentagram
Neil Diamond
a number of bands followed the rubble of objects—the way music fandom
Sun May 10, KeyArena,
on his forehead.
8 pm, $61–$146, all ages
suit, including pop-punk band used to work. Not that I was conscious of it at
I’m responsible for that, and
Groovie Ghoulies covering the time; my obsessive-compulsive Neil Diafor the eye patches, blacked-out
teeth, and excessive body and facial hair that “Hello Again,” and Murder City Devils (with mond habit was always more of a “before you
adorn the custom-vandalized covers of another Kim Warnick) doing “I’ll Come Running.” get to feeling good, you simply got no choice”
30 or so Neil Diamond records. Something The bands did Neil proud, and I welcomed it.
kind of situation.
It was when eBay was still the Wild West
about defacing Diamond’s sage, somber face
A handful of remnants survived the purge.
was funny to me, but it wasn’t done in malice. I of vintage and tour T-shirts from the early Before leaving Houston, I had purchased the
was a bored teenager in search of amusement, ’80s were still cheap. I found a perfect Neil 1970 Shilo compilation with the connect-theit’s true, but more importantly, I was a believer. Diamond T-shirt for $10, a size-small ring- dots cover (scribbled on). It still sits on my
And besides, the records I defiled were er tee with a stunning
record shelf today. The
just the doubles. The Neil Diamond LP framed portrait of a
Forever in Blue Jean
No one needed to
collection I amassed in my late teens—pri- shirtless Neil in a black
jacket hangs in my closmarily from the bins of Bogbean Books and leather jacket, perfectly
et next to the “NEIL
know I owned three
Music in my hometown of Redding, Cali- coiffed, chest plumage
F**KING DIAMOND”
copies of The Jazz
fornia, at a quarter or a dime apiece—was untamed, a sexier verT-shirt I bought off Neil
extensive enough that duplicates were inevi- sion of the cover art to Singer, or two Jonathan Diamond’s webstore last
table. By the time I was 18, I had somewhere the album he was tourOctober when his latest
Livingston Seagulls,
between 70 and 80 unique Neil Diamond re- ing at the time, On the
album, Melody Road
cords, including almost every single studio Way to the Sky. The
(which I also have), was
or a pristine copy
recording through the late ’80s, all his live back listed Midwest conreleased. And I just
of Stones.
records, best ofs, and soundtracks. The con- cert dates in black with
pulled out the “I’d Rathdition of these LPs was generally bad, but I SOLD OUT emblazoned
er Be at a Neil Diamond
didn’t care. Any time I found a Neil Diamond in red across each show. This shirt became Concert” bumper sticker I bought at his show
record I didn’t have, I bought it, storing it my second skin, and not just because it was in 2005, feeling a burst of excitement knowing
away on the top shelf of my closet, my Dia- skin-tight (this was during the indie-rock I’ll actually be at a Neil Diamond concert the
monds in the dark. None of my friends knew tiny-tee heyday at the turn of the century). week you read this. Given what happened last
what I was doing. No one needed to know I wore it almost every day, including the day time, I’ll probably go alone, a solitary man.
I owned three copies of The Jazz Singer, I boarded an airplane with a one-way ticket
And I know exactly what I’m going to
or two Jonathan Livingston Seagulls, or to Houston, where I would be moving in wear. n
a pristine copy of Stones. I bought a CD with the only two people I knew. I ended up
compilation of his Early Years, and listened meeting a lot of people because of that shirt.
Bring us flowers at
to it constantly in my bedroom, alone. I Some people thought I wore it out of irony.
THESTRANGER.COM/MUSIC
Confessions of an
Obsessive Neil
Diamond Collector
Learning to Love the Jewish
Elvis by Amassing Objects
S
THE STRANGER
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37
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39
Yes, the Rentals
Are a Band
Spanning Time with the Little
Weezer Side Project That Could
B Y L A R RY M I Z E L L J R .
S
DANCE
LEARN TO
pinning through the radio dial in 1995, the itinerant American indie-rocker slows
you’d probably run across Montell down near the seventh minute on the dreamJordan’s “This Is How We Do It,” Alanis like “Jumping Around,” as Sharp, feeling his
Morissette’s “You Oughta Know,” and Wee- age, wonders how to find someone he can
zer’s “Say It Ain’t So.” If you watched hold on to, seeing as he’s “not educated and…
120 Minutes, though, you might just have not respected.”
been lucky enough to catch the memorable
Cut to 2014’s Lost in Alphaville, the first
and monochromatic clip for
proper Rentals album in 15
The Rentals
“Friends of P.,” the low-key
years, on which a wistful, somew/Rey Pila, Radiation City
smash debut single from
what wizened Sharp revisits
Fri May 8, Crocodile,
the Rentals, side project of
Catalonia—it’s the perfect
8 pm, $15 adv, all ages
Weezer’s then-bassist, Matt
sequel to those Minutes, spiriSharp—who, incredibly, was recording Re- tually in line with the most recent albums from
turn of the Rentals at the same time that ’90s R&B stalwarts D’Angelo and Jodeci. The
he and the rest of the “=W=” were record- nearly 20-year gap between projects ends up
ing 1994’s triple-platinum Blue Album. Two sounding like a trip up the street and back,
perfect albums. But 20 years later, only one no steps lost. All the more surprising given
represents the beginning of an intriguing, un- that in the years between albums, Sharp
derappreciated catalog, while the other stands meandered something fierce, putting out a
as a symbol of the perils of peaking early. It four-song EP (2007’s The Last Little Life)
helps to think of the Rentals as Sharp’s ver- and a photo-book/short-film collection with
sion of the Breeders—the beloved
side-project-ternt-main-project of
another bass player/vocalist who
should’ve gotten more equity in
another, bigger band that should
never have continued without
him/her. Shortly after Weezer’s
eventually beloved, rightfully cult
classic second album, Pinkerton,
landed with a thud, Sharp became
a full-time Rental. As with the
Pixies and Kim Deal, every move
Weezer made post-Sharp was
more embarrassing than the last.
As for Return, yes, I hold it
to be absolutely one of the finest moments in the canon of ’90s
“alt-rock,” not to mention sneakily influential. Its geeky, forlorn
future-retro chic was both throwback (the Moog!) and some years MATT SHARP Rentals band meetings look pretty fun.
ahead of its time—bands like
Ozma and more notably the Postal Service a seven-disc instrumental soundtrack called
wouldn’t mix plaintive power pop with pretty Songs About Time, both under the Rentals
synths until the new millennium. The unexpect- moniker, as well as a 2004 solo acoustic folk
ed presence of Petra and Rachel Haden—of album recorded in Tennessee.
LA band that dog., with whom I was more
But all the gaps raise an important questhan a little obsessed—was an added bonus al- tion: Are the Rentals really a band—or is the
most too sweet to bear after I befriended “P.” name just a multimedia clearinghouse for
Then there is the matter of onetime backup Matt Sharp’s good ideas? Listen to Sharp’s
vocalist/keyboard player Maya Rudolph— solo acoustic work, then deduct it from the
brilliant Saturday Night Live alum, daughter three Rentals LPs for your answer—it’s the
of Minnie Riperton, life
wonder you hear in those
partner of director Paul
synths, the strings, the
Thomas Anderson—who
Lost in Alphaville is all-important leavening of
got her first screen time
those ever-present female
spiritually in line
in the video for Return’s
vocals, be they Cherielynn
“Waiting.” I’m just saying.
Westrich, the Haden siswith the most
Having tasted a bit of
Maya Rudolph, or
recent albums from ters,
his own success, Sharp
Lucius’s Jess Wolfe and
shook the first album’s D’Angelo and Jodeci. Holly Laessig. All these
self-consciously
nerdy
elements, these other
image (and most of its perpeople, make the Rentals
sonnel) for 1999’s Seven More Minutes, and greater than just the sum of the voices in Matt
lost some fans in the process. But the album Sharp’s head. Yes, they’re a band. They’re a
is no less a joy. Like Pinkerton, it’s an under- Greek chorus chronicling one man’s downs
rated jewel inspired by new surroundings and ups and downs again. Having shed the
and love lost in a faraway land—minus the naive mid-’90s math-club swagger, Sharp can
creepy colonial lens of the Madame Butter- still posit that “there must be some hope in the
fly character who inspired the Weezer album. future,” as he sings on Alphaville’s closer. If
Minutes chronicles a raucous, carefree love he really does break down at 50, as the superaffair with Barcelona, where Sharp had made model narrator of “P.” predicted, he’ll have left
a second home. The thoughtful hedonism of some of that wonder behind. n
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JASON RESLER
with Mitch Burrow
Jason Resler is a stand-up comedian
and a writer. He has wanted to
be a comedian ever since he was
convinced, mostly by his own coaches,
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May 6, 2015
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May 6, 2015
41
MY
PHILOSOPHY
H I P H O P YA D O N ' T S T O P
BY L A R RY M I Z E L L J R .
WAY DOWN IN THE HOLE
First of all—prayers and thoughts up for
all affected by the earthquake in Nepal,
which includes actual millions of people.
At the time of writing, 7,000-plus people
are dead. If you’re the praying type, there
are some folks who could use yours.
As they could right now in West Baltimore, of course, where the death of local
man Freddie Gray—who at the time of this
writing is still alleged to have snapped his
own spine in the back of a police van—has
sparked another American powder keg.
How many folks who imagined themselves
immersed in the desolation of Charm City’s
streets and the desperation of its people for
five whole seasons of The Wire now gently
shake their heads and ask each other, “How
could they burn down their own neighborhoods?” (The same way we snap our own
necks, apparently.) May everybody out in
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those streets get home safe, free of violence
at the hands of the cops or others—and
may they not get black-bagged for walking
or taking pictures, either. Martial law is
scary shit.
RIP to Mya Hall, a trans woman who
was killed by police in Baltimore early in
April after crashing her car outside an NSA
headquarters. (Yikes.) Judging by Erick
Sermon’s recent comments in the wake of
Bruce Jenner’s transitioning (thanks, TMZ,
for this needless and disappointing insight
into the Green-Eyed Bandit’s head and
heart), I can guess that the EPMD founder
will not drop Hall’s name in a song anytime
soon. (Not that anybody listens to new
Erick Sermon songs in 2015.) Trans artists,
he says, can’t be a part of hiphop—never
mind the fact that they already fucking
are—that’s just taking the culture too far.
Much as I love EPMD’s classic output, this is
still the dude who some say set up his own
partner to get robbed—not exactly the
person to trust when it comes to delineating what’s “too far.”
Now: To paraphrase Chi-Town MC Mick
Jenkins, “WHAT’S HAPPENING IN BALTIMORE IS COMING TO A CITY NEAR YOU.”
All caps. And when it does, what are you
going to do? Cry out for the broken windows? Bitch about “thugs” and “looters”?
(Just say the word you’re really thinking.)
You want to talk about looting? Check out
“civil forfeiture.” Not only do the cops have
an inalienable right to loot your body of its
life, they can also snatch up your cash, your
car, your family’s house—if they think it’s
nebulously related to a crime. This land you
stand on was and is being looted, quite legally. Hiphop, soul, funk, jazz, rock—looted.
All I see are thugs running in and out of the
culture, arms full of goods.
They can take our last breaths and literally break our backs and blame it all on
us. This situation is simply untenable, just
way, way, way too hot—and heat, Goodie
Mob’s Khujo once rapped, “will make
anything move.” Summer’s comin’. ■
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I wanted to ask about “Marination Station,”
your song about astronaut Lisa Nowak,
who drove 18 hours to confront the woman her lover dumped her for. I remember
the headline: “Diaper-Wearing Astronaut
Jailed in Love Triangle Plot.” Did Nowak really shit in the diaper? Or was that your
take?
B: We took creative liberties as songwriters, imagining there might be shit in that
diaper.
S: Actually, the song is about that restaurant above this QFC.
May 6, 2015
43
ALL SHOWS / ALL AGES BAR W/ID UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED
JUST OFF 1ST AVE SOUTH - 110 S. HORTON
More Info 206-286-1312 or www.studioseven.us
She controlled the robotic arm of the space
shuttle. She had service medals. She was
married with three kids. Then she put a diaper on and drove from Houston to Orlando.
I guess astronauts have affairs, too.
J: And I think they do wear diapers in
space. That’s why she had the diapers in the
first place. Space diapers.
CHILDBIRTH Keep calm and call your mom.
THE STRANGER
Nothing Says Mother’s
Day Like Childbirth
Side-Project Supergroup Finally Opens
Up About How Hard It Is to Be Funny
and Popular at the Same Time
BY TRENT MOORMAN
A
baby goose (known as a gosling) hatches from its egg and
imprints upon the first moving thing it sees. This instinctual
drive to bond with a mother is one of the strongest forces in nature.
S: I’m just looking forward to catching
When Seattle punk band Childbirth hatched
their song “Will You Be My Mom?” the first up with whatever Julia’s up to, and even if
thing it saw was the B-52’s playing “Monster I don’t understand it, I still plan on being
Mash” with the Sex Pistols’ Steve Jones on supportive.
guitar. Childbirth’s Julia Shapiro sings tautly:
“Don’t be annoyed. But can you fill this void? I was thinking you all might go to the senCan you do French braids? Don’t be afraid. I sory-deprivation tanks and do ayahuasca.
need a mom.” Her guitar tone cuts glass with Or go to the dog track and do ayahuasca?
a diamond. Bassist/vocalist Bree McKenna You know, like racing greyhounds. Maybe
Childbirth just like old-fashand drummer Stacy Peck are
Childbirth
ioned hoofprints, though.
bound together like conjoined
w/Mommy Long Legs,
J: Wait, what?
goslings giving Childbirth
the Dee Dees, Listen Lady
its muscle juice. Though the
Sun May 10,
Do you have any birth
three members are busy with
Chop Suey, 3 pm, $5, 21+
stories? Like, have you ever
other bands—Chastity Belt,
Tacocat, and Pony Time, respectively—they seen a horse being born? Real birth or metwere able to meet me in the egg section at a aphorical birth.
B: I was a teenage horse girl. I worked at
QFC for an interview.
some stables, and I’ve actually helped deliver
baby horses before. Horse births are much
What’s the latest Childbirth news?
Julia: We can say that we’re recording a more clean than human births. They come out
in a membrane.
new record, right?
S: I have never delivered a baby horse.
Bree: It will be out by fall. I also have a
J: I have never delivered a baby horse,
new chakra tuner.
Stacy: I have a new stuffed animal named either. I have cleaned a horse’s shaft.
Kwackers. It’s a baseball with arms and legs.
J: Nothing is going on with me. I check my Please watch this video of a baby cow being born and describe it in one word. I can’t
Instagram sometimes.
believe the mom continues to graze at the
beginning. Oh, what’s that? A baby coming
What’s the new Childbirth like?
J: Some of the new songs are called “Tech out of me? Well, I got some time, I’ll keep
Bro,” “Since When R U Gay,” “Baby Bump,” grazing.
J: Cute.
and “Nasty Grrrls.”
B: Fine.
S: The new songs are much more mature.
S: Wow.
How will Childbirth be celebrating Mother’s
Is the person you wrote “I Only Fucked You
Day?
J: I will probably take Stacy out for Moth- as a Joke” about upset about the song?
J: We didn’t write it about any one parer’s Day brunch at Linda’s, where Bree will
be working. It’s probably not the best place ticular person, but it definitely upsets a lot of
to take your mom, but Stacy is a cool mom. people.
S: Everyone thinks it’s about them.
She gets it.
What’s the longest you’ve ever held your pee?
B: Probably a tour situation.
S: I don’t know an exact time. I constantly
have nightmares about peeing.
J: I was on an airplane, and the person
next to me was sleeping. When I finally went
pee, I actually had to go twice. When I woke
up this morning, I peed for five minutes. I’ve
had a lot of long pees.
In Nowak’s car, after her arrest, they found
plastic gloves, cash, a floppy disk with 15
images of a woman undressing, drawings
of bondage scenes, and 69 orange pills. Of
those items, which is your favorite?
J: Floppy disk.
B: Orange pills.
S: The rubber gloves, I guess.
What were the 69 orange pills?
B: Adderall?
J: Why 69 of them, though? Maybe it was
a sex pill?
S: Maybe it was Tic Tacs. The orange ones
are the best.
B: We have decided, as a band, they were
Tic Tacs
J: And there were 69 of them because she
was kinky.
Her lawyer said she suffered from major
depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, insomnia, and brief psychotic disorder.
He also said she had Asperger’s syndrome.
What’s your diagnosis?
J: Hard to say. As a female guitarist, I
don’t really try to pretend like I know everything. Can you still go into space with all
those problems? That’s crazy. I thought if
your eyes were bad, you’re out.
PALOOKA
If you all were to speak to Lisa Nowak, what
would you say to her?
J: You’re a disgrace to all women in space.
S: I’d like to know what her road-trip music was. I want to know if she made herself
a sweet playlist before she left, and what it
was called.
What would you say to Lisa Nowak’s
children?
S: I wouldn’t want to bring her kids into it.
B: I try not to talk to children. They make
me nervous.
How do you think Lisa Nowak is spending
this Mother’s Day?
J: Not in space, am I right?
B: Be careful, she’s gonna read this!
S: I don’t know her personally.
J: Yeah, I don’t know how she spends her
time.
B: On a beach, rocking out to the new
Sleater-Kinney album, reading Kim Gordon’s
new book. n
UP & COMING
5/16 GOOD MEN AND THOROUGH 5/31 KOBRA &
LOTUS / ROMANTIC REBELS 6/4 TONY MACAPLINE
6/5 STARS FROM THAT METAL SHOW 6/6 DEICIDE
/ ENTOMBED A. D / HATE ETERNAL 6/7 10 YEARS
6/8 VEIL OF MAYA 6/10 KOTTON MOUTH KINGS
6/10 1349 / NECROPHAGIA
@ CLUB SUR
ALL EVENT TICKETS AVAILABLE THRU
WWW.ETIX.COM AND STUDIO 7 BOX OFFICE
44
May 6, 2015
THE STRANGER
UP&COMING
Lose your alpha-asshole attention whores every night this week!
For the full music calendar, see page 51 or visit thestranger.com/music
For ticket on-sale announcements, follow twitter.com/seashows a = All Ages.
has the distinction of being the biggest influence on
Snoop Dogg’s style. On TLC’s “Creep,” the sample
is drawn from Slick Rick’s dubby and bubbly and
dreamy “Hey Young World.” CHARLES MUDEDE
Wednesday 5/6
Inter Arma, Yautja, Mercy Ties,
Great Falls, Witch Ripper
(Highline) How much similarity is there between
Slayer and Sleep? Dio and Drudkh? Molly Hatchet
and Morbid Angel? They’re all metal bands, but
they have such wildly different approaches that it’s
hard to see how they all fall under the same umbrella. In an era where metal has come to mean so
many things, new bands typically get pigeonholed
into a narrowly defined niche or sloppily jump
across various microgenres. Few metal bands can
fluidly traverse a wide span of sonic territories, and
even fewer can do so in a way that creates something truly original. Leave it to Richmond’s longhaired punks Inter Arma to show everyone how
influences as varied as Crazy Horse, Neurosis, Pink
Floyd, and Craft can be seamlessly melded together into a cohesive, coherent, and punishing new
sound. BRIAN COOK
New Kids on the Block, TLC, Nelly
a (Tacoma Dome) What do MC Solaar’s ethereal “A
La Claire Fontaine,” Erick Sermon’s slamming “Stay
Real,” and Tricky’s austere “Christiansands” have
in common with TLC’s most important contribution
to the history of American popular music, “Creep,”
which dropped back in 1994 and was produced by
Dallas Austin? They all sampled the voice of Slick
Rick, a rapper who got his start with Doug E. Fresh
and the Get Fresh Crew, released a classic for Def
Jam in 1988 (The Great Adventures of Slick Rick), and
Thursday 5/7
Sleater-Kinney, THEESatisfaction
(Showbox) There’s nothing new about bands from
the 1990s, from Pavement to Ride, re-forming to
cash in on nostalgia and to make a mortgage payment or two. In 2007, Sleater-Kinney actually went
on hiatus, but the trio didn’t return simply to play
the old hits, signature tracks like “Dig Me Out”
and “You’re No Rock ’n’ Roll Fun,” but to unveil a
Though Deacon’s live
shows used to involve (too
much) audience-participation shenanigans, they
were never dull.
new record, No Cities to Love, their hardest-hitting,
most adventurous statement to date. And their
live shows have been generating the best reviews
of their career, to the extent that their three-night
stand at the Showbox is sold out (May 7–9, Saturday is all ages). For those without a ticket: Let’s
hope somebody, such as ace documentarian Lance
COME & GET ‘EM
BRIGITTE SIRE
SLEATER-KINNEY Not just coasting on nostalgia. Thurs May 7 at Showbox.
WWW.TAKEWARNINGPRESENTS.COM
WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/TAKEWARNINGPRESENTS
TWITTER @TAKEWARNINGSEA
TICKETS @ WWW.TAKEWARNINGPRESENTS.COM
Best Coast
California Nights
THURS MAY 28TH @ SHOWBOX SODO
$10.95-cd/$16.95-lp
Best Coast’s new one is bright, sophisticated, a little more
psychedelic, and all with a California state of mind.
STREETLIGHT
MANIFESTO
Wed
5/6
WILD WANTS,
I’d Die For Lo-Fi,
The Beach Boy,
& Guest - $7
Thu
5/7
DOGS OF WAR,
Green River
Thrillers, Crawler,
Sun Giants - $7
Fri
5/8
MAMMA’S CAVE
PRESENTS:
Katie Kate,
Erik Blood,
Aeon Fux
Sat
5/9
EMERALD CITY
SOUL CLUB - $10
8pm
MuMford & sons
Wilder Mind
$13.95-reg.cd/$16.95-dlx cd
DAN POTTHAST, SYCAMORE SMITH
Mumford & Sons have ditched the banjos and have gone
with a more minimalist rock feel on their newest album.
Also available on vinyl.
8:30 PM / ALL AGES (BAR W/ ID)
$21.50 ADV / $25 DAY OF SHOW
SATURDAY MAY 16TH @ ECLECTIC THEATER
*2 SHOWS / LIMITED TICKETS!*
EMILY HELLER
My Morning JaCket
The Waterfall
ELICIA SANCHEZ
$10.95-cd/$12.95-dlx cd
MMJ is back with a little bit alt.country, a little jam-band,
and little folk for a stunning album of sonic scenery.
Also available on vinyl.
Sale prices good thru 5/24/15
More than a record store! We have turntables,
vinyl accessories, posters, headphones & More.
sed
new & u Vinyl
&
s
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C d s , dV
CAPITOL HILL
1520 10th Ave. • 206.568.3321
Open everyday 10 a.m.-10 p.m.
7:30 PM (EARLY) & 10:00 PM (LATE)
ALL AGES (BAR W/ ID)
$18 ADV / $20 DAY OF SHOW
9pm
9pm
THURSDAY JUNE 25TH @ THE VERA PROJECT
*JUST ANNOUNCED / TICKETS ON SALE NOW!
JEN KIRKMAN
9PM
BELLINGHAM
115 E. Magnolia • 360.676.1404
Open everyday 9 a.m.-10 p.m.
for any & all used
Cds, dVds & Vinyl
www.everydaymusic.com
“I’M GONNA DIE ALONE
(AND I FEEL FINE)”
8:00 PM DOORS / 9:00 PM SHOW
ALL AGES
$16 ADVANCE / $18 DAY OF SHOW
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Bangs (singer/guitarist Corin Tucker’s husband), is
documenting this tour. KATHY FENNESSY
(Lo-Fi) Two Matts and an Adam make up the Seattle
band Crawler (note, there’s also a nice-sounding
indie-pop band from Paris called “CRaWLeR”). Seattle’s Crawler sound just like they should—angsty,
rock hard, almost kind of (ooh, I hate to use this
word) grungey. You might remember one of the
Matts from his other bands—the Keeper, Makeshift, or Hungry Crocodiles. Or maybe you don’t
remember shit (’cause you drink/drank too much
beer, plus who cares anyway?). If you just wanna
see a really solid, really loud rock show on this fine
Thursday, then head to Lo-Fi. The openers, Seattle
stoner metalheads Dogs of War, won’t disappoint,
either. KELLY O
White Wards, Nudes, Wetbrain,
Bricklayer, Glutton, Cuckold
a
(Ground Zero) Bellevue gets infinitely more
punk tonight—at least at youth stronghold/community center Ground Zero—with a hardcore
show featuring all local acts. Olympia’s reigning
What better show to
take your mom to than
one with a band based on
the Harry Potter
book series?
Ramsey Lewis Quartet
Friday 5/8
Dan Deacon, Prince
Rama, Ben O’Brien
a (Neumos) Former Hare Krishna adherents Taraka
and Nimai Larson of Brooklyn’s Prince Rama gained
attention with fresh takes on Eastern-leaning,
45
tones down his exuberant maximalism. Though
Deacon’s live shows used to involve (too much) audience-participation shenanigans, they were never
dull—and he instilled an unparalleled camaraderie
between artist and crowd while sometimes achieving a Boredoms-esque level of adrenaline overdose.
DAVE SEGAL
Crawler, Dogs of War, Green
River Thrillers, Sun Giants
a (Jazz Alley) With almost 65 years of recordings
and live performances to his name, Chicago souljazz keyboardist Ramsey Lewis can bestow treasures on Jazz Alley’s crowds for four nights in a row
(May 7–10) without repeating himself. He’s always
been a preternaturally smooth operator on electric
and acoustic pianos, as adept with dulcet ballads as
he is with rousing up-tempo jams. He’s also had his
astral and funky phases, as did most jazz musicians
in the 1970s; go to Sun Goddess—a rare example
of a heady album that was wildly popular—for the
strongest convergence of those styles. Lewis is also
an exceptional interpreter of other people’s compositions, with the Beatles songbook being a particular specialty, as the 1968 LP of Fab Four covers,
Mother Nature’s Son, proves. The man’s oeuvre is
an elegant joy, in any mode. DAVE SEGAL
May 6, 2015
PRINCE RAMA No matter what style they attempt, they can’t help sounding cavernously
psychedelic. Fri May 8 at Neumos.
spiritual, ungrid-like dance music with the Shadow
Temple and Trust Now albums, which sounded like
a more blissful Gang Gang Dance. They achieved
an even headier swirl of sound on Top 10 Hits of
the End of the World, an audacious concept record in which they assume personas of 10 different imaginary pop groups (glam rock, grunge,
TIMES LISTED ARE SHOW TIMES.
DOORS OPEN 30-60 MINUTES BEFORE.
Wed May 6
HARMONY-LADEN ROOTS
DELLA MAE
LEFT COAST COUNTRY
8PM - $15/$18
Thu May 7
ALBUM RELEASE PARTY
THE FOGHORNS
CASEY RUFF &
THE MAYORS OF BALLARD
THE RAINIEROS
9PM - $8
Fri May 8
AUSTIN PSYCH ROCK
THE BRIGHT LIGHT
SOCIAL HOUR
TALK IN TONGUES, DUKE EVERS
9PM - $10/$12
Tue May 19
KISW PRESENTS
UK BLUES-DRENCHED ROCK
THE TEMPERANCE
MOVEMENT
FOX & THE LAW
8:30PM - $12/$15
Mon June 1
UK INDIE ROCK
PALMA VIOLETS
PUBLIC ACCESS T.V.
9PM - $15
H 5/10 STARS & GARTER SNAKES H 5/11 SQUARE
DANCE W/ THE TALLBOYS H 5/12 FOUNTAINS H 5/14
THE CAVE SINGERS H 5/16 ZOE MUTH H 5/17 SUMMER
MELTDOWN SHOWDOWN H 5/20 SISTER GIRLFRIEND
LIKE US ON FACEBOOK,
TWITTER & TUMBLR
new wave, cosmic disco, etc.). No matter what style
they attempt, Prince Rama can’t help sounding
cavernously psychedelic. Headliner Dan Deacon is
one of those rare musicians who can toggle from
whimsical, goofy electro pop to transcendent Philip
Glass–ian workouts with the twist of a knob on an
analog synth, even if his 2015 album, Gliss Riffer,
hardcore-punk group White Wards issue forth an
onslaught of intelligent rock ugliness, their cauterizing riffs making them a favorite at esteemed
local punk label Iron Lung Records. White Wards’
one-minute fury-blasts sound perfectly in place
with Seattle hardcore freaks Nudes, whose garageinformed dirge is promising on their Stain 7-inch
(also an ILR release), paving the way for unlikely
subgenre garage-rock powerviolence. Wetbrain’s
wall-of-noise sludgy hardcore appeals to those
who enjoy feral feedback and artfully delivered
rage, while Bricklayer’s approach is more polished
with nearly sing-along-able guitar lines. BRITTNIE
FULLER
Prism: Pärt & MacMillan
a (St. James Cathedral) To celebrate Arvo Pärt’s
80th birthday, Seattle Pro Musica pairs his work
with contemporary James MacMillan and a world
premiere by John Muehleisen (May 8–9). JEN
GRAVES
46
May 6, 2015
THE STRANGER
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THE STRANGER
Helmet
(Crocodile) New York’s Helmet were part of the wave
of 1990s noise rock bands on the roster of Amphetamine Reptile Records (the subject of 2014 documentary The Color of Noise). Sometimes described as the
East Coast counterpoint to Seattle’s grunge scene, this
underground movement explored the heavier, darker
side of punk rock in a game-changing way (although
the bands didn’t break through to the mainstream in
the same way as their West Coast brethren). In the
Monday 5/11
Willis Earl Beal, Skin Lies, Rowe
Simply put, it’s
absolutely fucked.
But it’s the perfect kind
of fucked.
NEIL MICHAEL HAGERTY From noodle-headed drunk 'n' roll to redemptive boogie and
everything in between. Sun May 10 at Black Lodge.
level of popularity and prime festival slots with relatively understated music that’s easy on the ears yet
never fades into the background (not that there’s
anything wrong with that) or makes you think of
shopping in malls. Accomplishment! DAVE SEGAL
Unknown Mortal Orchestra, Nurses
(Barboza) Making psychedelic pop that skews cute
is fraught with the possibility of saccharine overdose, but Portland-via-New-Zealand band Unknown
Mortal Orchestra elude that fate. Vocalist/guitarist Ruban Nielson sings with a coy coo over deceptively funky beats and low-frills instrumentation;
the band’s melodies insinuate their way into your
memory rather than barge in like alpha-asshole attention whores. (Is anyone else getting Grandaddy
vibes from these guys?) Over the last four years and
two albums, UMO have ascended to a reasonable
NECTAR LOUNGE
412 N 36th St
206.632.2020
www.nectarlounge.com
5.7 Thursday (Bluegrass)
PETER ROWAN with
FRANK SOLIVAN & DIRTY KITCHEN
plus The Blackberry Bushes Stringband
$20adv / $25dos, 7:30pm, 21+
5.8 Friday (Deep Funk Festival)
THE WESTSOUND
REUNION feat.
POLYRHYTHMICS plus
Lucky Brown & The Westsound Union,
Grace Love & The True Loves,
Unsinkable Heavies, Mystery Three,
DJ Funkscribe & DJ Dave McRaw
$10adv / $15dos, 8pm, 21+
5.9 Saturday (Electronic)
DESERT DWELLERS
KAMINANDA
w/ Halo Refuser, Lotus Drops
$15adv / $20dos, 8pm, 21+
5.10 Sunday (Modern Bluegrass)
TAARKA with
Renegade Stringband, Crow & the Canyon
$10adv / $15dos, 7pm, 21+
5.11 Monday (Weekly Jam)
MO’ JAM MONDAYS
Where Seattle Musicians Come To Jam
NO COVER, 9pm, 21+
5.12 Tuesday (Live Band Karaoke)
KARAOKEGRASS!!
8pm Sign-Ups, NO COVER, 21+
5.13 Paul Wall 5.15 McTuff + Horns
5.16 Blockhead 5.17 StoneLoweCoe
5.22 Prince & Michael Experience 5.23 Shafty
- Portland’s Tribute to Phish 5.24 The Lowest
Pair 5.27 JeConte & The Mali All-Stars
47
catalog makes for a disparate playlist of highlights
that surprises and delights with genuine character and morbid curiosity. Simply put, it’s absolutely
fucked. But it’s the perfect kind of fucked. Local longhairs Brain Drain, the Conor Kiley all-stars Bad Blood,
and ramshackle shagsters CMRTYZ round out this
very oblong night of debauchery. TRAVIS RITTER
Saturday 5/9
case of Helmet, frontman/guitarist Page Hamilton
incorporated his formal jazz training into a strippeddown, technically precise, and groove-oriented version of post-hardcore. More than 20 years after the
release of Betty, Helmet—whose lineup has changed
throughout the years, except for Hamilton—are on
tour playing the album from beginning to end, plus a
second set of songs spanning the band’s entire career.
If you’re in need of a dose of therapeutically loud
noise, this show should rearrange your molecules
nicely. KATHLEEN RICHARDS
May 6, 2015
Sunday 5/10
Harry and the Potters, Lisa Prank
a (Vera) Happy Mother’s Day! What better show
to take your mom to than one with a band based
on J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter book series, playing songs with such titles as “Save Ginny Weasley”
and “Gryffindor Rocks”? Since 2002, the charming DeGeorge brothers (hailing from Norwood,
Massachusetts) have delighted Harry Potter nerds
and fans of DIY indie/punk alike with their Rentals
meets the Unicorns (and sometimes meets Meatloaf) protagonist pop punk. It’s not quite bedroom,
not quite basement, not quite garage—it’s cupboard-under-the-stairs wizard rock. Wear your best
maroon-and-gold scarf! EMILY NOKES
Neil Michael Hagerty, Brain Drain,
Bad Blood, CMRTYZ, Versing
a (Black Lodge) From Pussy Galore and Royal Trux
to the Howling Hex and solo releases under his given
name, Neil Michael Hagerty has kept a firm grip on
America’s weird music underground with a prolific
output. A staple of the Drag City roster since its beginning, Hagerty’s music is a mash of surly psychedelic
feedback, noodle-headed drunk ’n’ roll, redemptive
boogie, and unapologetic folk. Hagerty’s staggering
(Sunset) Willis Earl Beal is a rare bird in the twentyteens music ecosystem: a self-aware musical outsider combining raw blues, tender lo-fi troubadourism, and the sort of alien/alienating sonic textures
more commonly associated with esoteric post-punk
mavericks (This Heat, Swell Maps, Homosexuals,
etc.). His 2011 debut album, Acousmatic Sorcery,
announced the arrival of a true original musician,
an artist who can meld unlikely elements into compelling songs, sung in a voice that carries a blunt
authority and a soulfulness that splits the difference between Richie Havens and Nick Drake. The
follow-up, 2013’s Nobody Knows, found Beal entering a pro studio for a change and opting for a more
traditional soul/gospel/folk hybrid. The man can
sing a conventional, lush ballad competently, but
so can thousands of others. Maybe it’s churlish to
say, and it may infuriate his manager, but I’d rather
Beal return to the ramshackle gear he deployed
on his debut and give his weirdest proclivities free
rein. Let’s hope he does that tonight. DAVE SEGAL
Music of Remembrance
presents ‘After Life’
a (Benaroya Hall) A new opera by Tom Cipullo in
which Gertrude Stein and Pablo Picasso meet in the
afterlife to continue their far-flung conversations on
art, love, and all the other big things. JEN GRAVES
Tuesday 5/12
On this day in 1963, Bob Dylan walked off the set
of The Ed Sullivan Show when they wouldn’t allow
him to play “Talkin’ John Birch Paranoid Blues.”
48
May 6, 2015
THE STRANGER
for a full schedule visit www.mikETHRAsHERpREsENTs.COm
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E
L
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A
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O sAT
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sAT
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THE wEATHER
& vALisE
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TEAm
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& HydRA mELOdy
wOLvEs AT THE
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fRi
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uNTiL THis suNRisE
& HERmOsA
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ALL AGEs
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& sHivER
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& wiLd
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1
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mIcroWAvE · of mIcE And mEn · croWBAr · TAyLor cAnIff
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go to
www.mikethrasherPresents.com
for complete details and info on how to
get your tickets early
Deerhoof
5/6
Killer Ghost, Summer Cannibals
wednesday
$3 w/RSVP - $10 w/o RSVP, 21+
The Crocodile Takeover
5/7
The Mama Rags, Acapulco Lips, Wind Burial,
The Jesus Rehab, Black Giraffe, Megasapien
thursday
All Ages
The Rentals
5/8
Rey Pila, Radiation City
Friday
All Ages
KISW 99.9 & The Crocodile presents an evening w/
5/9
Helmet “Betty”
20th Anniversary Show
saturday
(Playing The Album From Start To Finish) 21+
The Crocodile & ReignCity Present::
5/10
Kyle “King Wavy Tour”
Brothers From Another, Otieno Terry
sunday
All Ages
DEV
5/11
Go Periscope (DJ Set)
monday
featured
mON
juN
8:00pm doors
ALL AGEs
BAr W/propEr Id
s
H
O
w
B
O
x
s
O
d
O
16
COmiNG
sOON:
1-877-725-8849
All Ages
Tue 6/2
DeAD
MeADOW
Tue 7/7
TRAnS AM
Sat 8/29
ROCKy
VOTOLATO
up & coming EVERY monDAY & TUESDAY LIQUID CoURAGE KARAoKE 5/12 WoLf ALICE 5/13 RAnDY & mR.
LAHEY of TRAILER PARK BoYS 5/14 THE Jon SPEnCER BLUE ExPLoSIon 5/15 THRoUGH THE RooTS 5/16 BRITE LInES
5/17 ToVE STYRKE 5/18 GBH 5/20 KLInGAnDE 5/21 3RDEGREE 5/22 PUBLISH THE QUEST 5/23 SmALLPooLS 5/24 SLY
& RoBBIE AnD THE TAxI GAnG 5/28 LUnIz 5/29 mIAmI HoRRoR 5/30 REfUSED 5/31 SCHooL of RoCK 6/1 mEG mEYERS
2200 2ND AVE H CORNER OF 2ND & BLANCHARD
TICKETS @ THECROCODILE.COM & THE CROCODILE BOx OFFICE
H MORE INFO AT WWW.THECROCODILE.COM H
NEWS
F E AT U R E
SUGGESTS
ARTS
CHOW
MUSIC
HIGHWAY 99 Brian Lee &
BASS-CENTRIC
CHOONS
the Orbiters: 8 pm, $7
H a JAZZ ALLEY Ramsey
Lewis Quartet, 7:30 pm
JEWELBOX THEATER
DRUNK OF THE WEEK…BELOW
THE HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA…51
DATA BREAKER…52 POSTER OF THE WEEK…53
WED
H a TACOMA DOME New
Kids on the Block, TLC, Nelly
TRACTOR TAVERN Della
Mae, Left Coast Country
5/6
L I VE
BARANOF The Life Acoustic:
Alex Rasmussen, Brendan
Shea, 7 pm, free
H CROCODILE Deerhoof,
Killer Ghost, Summer
Cannibals
H HIGHLINE Inter Arma,
Yautja, Mercy Ties, Great
Falls, Witch Ripper
HIGHWAY 99 Drummerboy
JAZZ ALLEY Eric Bibb,
Michael Jerome Browne
KELLS Liam Gallagher
LO-FI Wild Wants, I’D DIE
FOR LO-FI, The Beach Boy
NARWHAL Gaythiest, Baby
Gurl, Sayonara: 9 pm, $6
NECTAR Pablo Moses & The
Revolutionary Dream Band,
Jonny Sonic, Ladro, DJ
Court, Loveward Steps
Q NIGHTCLUB Kaytranada
THE ROYAL ROOM The
Minor 9, Chaotic Noise
Marching Corps, 8 pm
SEAMONSTER Crack
Sabbath: 10 pm, free
SHOWBOX SODO All Time
Low, Issues, Tonight Alive,
State Champs, 6 pm
SKYLARK CAFE & CLUB
Open Mic: 8:30 pm, free
H SUNSET TAVERN The
Shilohs, iji, 8 pm, $8
TRIPLE DOOR
MUSICQUARIUM LOUNGE
Michaela Anne, 8:30 pm
THE TRIPLE DOOR
THEATER Liz Longley,
Anthony D’Amato, 7:30 pm
a VERA PROJECT A
Weekend at the Feelies, Soft
Fangs, Red Alder, 8:30 pm
VICTORY LOUNGE Lazy
Animals, Topless, Rock N
Roll Suicides, Stuporhero
J A ZZ
CONOR BYRNE The
Brotherhood of The Drum
EGAN’S JAM HOUSE Dina
Blade Student Showcase: 7
pm, Elizabeth Perera, 9 pm
SERAFINA The Shawn
Mickelson Trio: 8 pm, free
TULA’S Kareem Kandi Band
VITO’S RESTAURANT &
LOUNGE Brad Gibson Trio
DJ
CHOP SUEY BYOV: 8 pm
CONOR BYRNE Rainier Soul
Sounds: 9 pm, free
CONTOUR NuDisco
FOUNDATION SUBstance
Wednesdays: Guests, 9 pm
HAVANA Wicked & Wild:
DJ SoulOne, ZJ Redman,
Selecta Element
FILM
H KREMWERK Chinga la
Renta!: 9 pm
NEIGHBOURS Pulse: DJ
Trent Von, DJ Dirty Bit
PONY He’s a Rebel: Guests
CLAS S I CAL
a MCCAW HALL Ariadne
auf Naxos: Seattle Opera
Sessions of She
KELLS Liam Gallagher
a LAKE CITY COMMUNITY
CENTER Christa Burch
LITTLE RED HEN Steve
Frame & Western Rebels
H LO-FI Crawler, Dogs of
War, Green River Thrillers,
Sun Giants: 9 pm, $7
THE MIX Yada Yada Blues
Band, 9 pm, free
NECTAR Peter Rowan, Frank
Solivan & Dirty Kitchen, The
Blackberry Bushes String
Band, 8 pm, $20/$25
H NEPTUNE THEATRE They
Might Be Giants: 8 pm
a NEUMOS Ivan & Alyosha,
8 pm, $15
OWL N’ THISTLE Darci
Carlson
Q NIGHTCLUB Sharam Jey
THE ROYAL ROOM Royal
Ramble: Red Jacket Mine
SHOWBOX SODO The Panda
Funk Tour: Deorro, 7 pm
H THE SHOWBOX SleaterKinney, 8 pm, $30
SNOQUALMIE CASINO
5/7
Wynonna & the Big Noise
SUNSET TAVERN R. Ring
TRACTOR TAVERN The
Foghorns, Casey Ruff &
the Mayors of Balldard, The
Rainieros, 9 pm, $8
AQUA BY EL GAUCHO Ben
THE TRIPLE DOOR
THEATER Papa Josh &
THURS
LI VE
Fleck, 6 pm, free
BLUE MOON TAVERN
Morning Glory Revival, Chris
Patocka Ensemble, Swords
for Arrows, $5
CENTRAL SALOON Lisa
Legros
a CHAPEL PERFORMANCE
SPACE Machinations
Musical, Divers & Sundry
a CROCODILE The Mama
Rags, Acapulco Lips, Wind
Burial, the Jesus Rehab,
Black Giraffe, Megasapie
DISTRICT LOUNGE Cassia
DeMayo Quintet, 8 pm, free
a DOWNPOUR BREWING
Open Mic Night
a EL CORAZON: Sick of
Sarah, The Tenfivesixty,
A Clockwork Tragedy,
Amsterdam
HIGH DIVE Marmalade
Friends: Howard Jones
H VERMILLION An Evening
of Edgy Culture: 8 pm
VICTORY LOUNGE
Unwelcome Guests, 9 pm
J A ZZ
H BARCA Jazz at Barca: Phil
Sparks Trio, Adam Kessler
CONOR BYRNE The Guitar
Summit: 8 pm, $13/$15
a EGAN’S JAM HOUSE
Jacob Zimmerman Quintet,
7 pm
a OSTERIA LA SPIGA
Thursday Night Jazz
PINK DOOR Bric-a-Brac
a SHUGA JAZZ BISTRO
Chris James Quartet, 7 pm,
CJQ, 7:30 pm
TULA’S Sarah Partridge
Quartet, Ted Brancato, Paul
Gabrielson, Steve Korn
VITO’S RESTAURANT &
LOUNGE Casey MacGill,
DRUNK OF THE WEEK
5:30 pm, Rik Wright, 9 pm
DJ
BALLROOM Throwback
Thursdays: DJ Tamm of KISS
BALTIC ROOM Sugar Beat
BARBOZA No Duh! 90’s
Dance Party: 9 pm
CONTOUR Jaded: DJ Jades,
Morgueanne
H HAVANA Sophisticated
Mama: DJ Nitty Gritty, DJ
Sad Bastard, free
H MERCURY Sex.Wave
NEIGHBOURS Tinder
OHANA Get Right: DJ Sosa
Q NIGHTCLUB Scuba: 9 pm
SAINT JOHN’S BAR AND
EATERY Peel Slowly: DJ
Squid Vicious, Fentar, DJ
Kool Mike B, DJ Bargain Bin
THERAPY LOUNGE DUH.
TRINITY Space Thursdays
THE WOODS Jobot, PressHa
C L A SSICA L
a BENAROYA HALL Mozart:
The Great Concertos
a BRECHEMIN
AUDITORIUM Brechemin
Piano Series: 7:30 pm, $5
FRI
5/8
L IVE
KELLY O
WEED OF THE WEEK
H
ave you ever asked a friend if they could spare a handful
of weed? Yeah, well, this happened. (Thanks, Michael!) A
friend with weed is a friend indeed. KELLY O
a BALLARD HOMESTEAD
Courtney Marie Andrews,
Whitney Lyman, Anna Tivel
BARBOZA Megan Wilde, A
String of Pearls, Big World
Breaks, 7 pm, $8
BLUE MOON TAVERN
Colorworks, Little Fixtures,
H = Recommended a = All Ages
For the complete, searchable, constantly updated calendar, go to thestranger.com/music
For ticket on-sale announcements, follow twitter.com/seashows
THE STRANGER
May 6, 2015
49
50
May 6, 2015
THE STRANGER
On Sale Now at StrangerTickets.com
THE SEATTLE TRANSGENDER FILM FESTIVAL
MULTIPLE LOCATIONS
:
TZ
R
A
U
Q
N
E
V
TE
S
Kickstart the Economy By Being Cool
Through June 7
UNDISCLOSED SEATTLE LOCATION
THURSDAY,
MAY 7
Town Hall
Friday, May 8
Word
Works:
Dorianne
Laux
on Music
Hugo House
ianS mixinG up
younG muSic
popu
ineST
lar
n’S F
u S i c , r o c k , r& b , c e l l i
and
m
o
i
n
a
G
o
STS,
e
m
r
a
Gl
S
Ja z
&
he
n
T
a
z a obal
G
G
n
n
in
o
T
d m So
r
u
p,
o r un
aT
ho
STG preSenTS
Fe h i p
e ! dS
MAY
14 - 16
the 14th Annual
RE-BAR
Sunday, May 10
MORE MUSIC@THE MOORE
may 8 7:30pm The moore TheaTre
Unicorn - Narwhal
Friday, May 15 • Fremont Foundry
A VERY QUEER DINNER PARTY
(to Benefit PrideFest)
July
10-12
Rare, hard-to-find, and exotic beers!
Seattle Center Fisher Lawn Pavilion
SUNDAY, MAY 24
BROught
BROUGHT
BROUGHTtO
TO
TO yOu
YOU
YOU By
BY
BY
SUPPORT
SUPPORT PROVIDED
PROVIDED BY
BY
Music Direction by
Sheila e.
The Bradley
Family Foundation
presented by
Pike Place Market Atrium Kitchen
drummer, percussionist,
singer
TICKETS CALL (877) 784-4849
GROUPS 10+ (206) 315-8054
STGPRESENTS.ORG
EST. 1907
2ND AVE & VIRGINIA ST
NEWS
F E AT U R E
SUGGESTS
Gully, $5
Prince Rama, Ben O’Brien
CAFE RACER The Grindylow,
RE-BAR Quiver: Guests
Weird Ons: 9 pm
CHINA HARBOR Orquesta
la Solucion, 9:30 pm, $15
COLUMBIA CITY THEATER
Real Don Music, Screens,
Richie Dagger’s Crime, 9 pm
H a CROCODILE The
Rentals, Rey Pila, Radiation
City, 8 pm, $15
a EL CORAZON Icarus The
Owl, The Ongoing Concept,
Moments, the Bomb Shelter
H GROUND ZERO
(BELLEVUE) White Wards,
Nudes, Wetbrain, Bricklayer,
Glutton, Cuckold: 7 pm, $6
HIGH DIVE The Requisite,
American Island, Northern
Shakedown, Kye Alfred Hillig
HIGHLINE Assemblage 23,
Alter Der Ruine: 9 pm, $15
HIGHWAY 99 DoctorfunK
HOLLOW EARTH RADIO
Glossophonic Showcase
H a JAZZ ALLEY Ramsey
Lewis Quartet, 9:30 pm
THE KRAKEN BAR &
LOUNGE Night, Coyote
Bred, The Snubs: 9 pm, $5
LITTLE RED HEN Marlin
James Band: 9 pm, $5
LO-FI Katie Kate, Erik Blood,
Aeon Fux: 9 pm, $8/$10
a MACHINE HOUSE
BREWERY Ben Hunter and
Joe Seamons, 7 pm, free
THE MIX Jamie Nova Band,
Machine, Xolie Morra & the
Strange Kind, 9 pm, $8
MOORE THEATRE 14th
Annual More Music @ The
Moore: 7:30 pm, $10, $15
NECTAR Annual Northwest
Deep Funk Festival: Lucky
Brown & the Westsound
Union, Polyrhythmics,
Unsinkable Heavies, Mystery
Three, Grace Love & the
True Loves, 8 pm, $10/$15
H NEUMOS Dan Deacon,
ARTS
RENDEZVOUS Johnny
Hoffman & the Residents,
John Paul & the Apostles,
Shark the Herald: 9:30 pm
THE ROYAL ROOM Jason
Sees Band, Runaway
Symphony, Being Lucius
SEAMONSTER Live Funk
SHOWBOX SODO Griz,
Floozies, Muzzy Bearr
H THE SHOWBOX SleaterKinney, 9 pm, $30
SKYLARK CAFE & CLUB Jon
Davidson, Pross, George
Grissom, 9 pm, $7
SLIM’S LAST CHANCE Tom
Price & the Desert Classic,
Jilly Rizzo, Tit Nun: 9 pm
a STUDIO SEVEN N8V,
Supercult, Under Sin,
Woodshed: 7 pm, $15
SUNSET TAVERN Jupe Jupe,
The Gods Themselves,
Ssnackss, Reptilian Children
TACOMA DOME Big Band
World Tour: Diplo, Laidback
Luke, Bro Safari, Branchez
TRACTOR TAVERN Bright
Lights Social Hour, Talk in
Tongues, 9 pm, $10
TRIPLE DOOR
MUSICQUARIUM LOUNGE
Supersones, 5 pm, free
a THE TRIPLE DOOR
THEATER Nellie McKay, Ben
Ballinger, 8 pm, $26-$33
J A ZZ
88 KEYS Dueling Piano
Show: 8 pm, free
EGAN’S JAM HOUSE
45th Street Brass, Gavin
Templeton Quartet, Dawn
Clement Trio: 6:30 pm
NORDIC HERITAGE
MUSEUM Friday Night
Concert & Ballard Jazz Walk
SERAFINA Shawn Mickelson
Trio, Tim Kennedy Trio
TRIPLE DOOR
CHOW
MUSICQUARIUM LOUNGE
Seabop, 9 pm, free
TULA’S Jovino Santos Neto
Quinteto: 7:30 pm, $16
VITO’S RESTAURANT &
LOUNGE Casey MacGill
DJ
ASTON MANOR #AstonMob
Fridays: Guests
BALLROOM Rendezvous
Friday: Guests, 9 pm
BALMAR 80’s/90’s Night
BALTIC ROOM Fundamental
Fridays: Guests
CHOP SUEY Shimmy
Shimmy Ya!: DJ Curtis
CUFF DJ Night: Rotating DJs
FOUNDATION Resonate
Fridays: Guests, 9 pm
FUEL DJ Headache, Guests
HAVANA Viva Havana &
Havana Social: DJ Sean
Cee, DJ Send, DJ Pho Sho
MERCURY Illumination:
Major Tom
NEIGHBOURS Absolut
Fridays: DJ Richard Dalton,
DJ Trent Von, 9 pm
PONY Shenanigans: DJ
Porq, DJ kKost
Q NIGHTCLUB DJ Christyle
R PLACE Swollen Fridays:
Swollen Friday: DJ E, 9 pm
THERAPY LOUNGE Rapture
TRINITY Playday: Guy,
VSOP, Tyler and DJ Phase
VERMILLION The Jam:
Specs Wizard, DJ Able One,
aMadman, free
CLAS S I CAL
a CHAPEL PERFORMANCE
SPACE Seattle Composers’
Salon: 8 pm, $5/$15
a MEANY HALL The Magic
Flute: Pacific MusicWorks,
University of Washington’s
School of Music, 7:30 pm
a SEATTLE ASIAN ART
MUSEUM Music of the
MUSIC
FILM
THE STRANGER
May 6, 2015
51
Japanese Imperial Court
H a ST. JAMES CATHEDRAL
Prism—Pärt & MacMillan:
Seattle Pro Musica, 8 pm
SAT
5/9
L IVE
192 BREWERY Michele
D’Amour and the Love
Dealers, 6:30 pm, free
AQUA BY EL GAUCHO Ben
Fleck, 6 pm, free
a BALLARD HOMESTEAD
Julia Massey & The Five Finger
Discount, Robb Benson
H BARBOZA Unknown
Mortal Orchestra, Nurses
BLUE MOON TAVERN The
Hasslers, Biddadat, Faint
Peter, $5
CAIRO Chastity Belt,
Pleather, Mommy Long Legs
a CHAPEL PERFORMANCE
SPACE FHTAGN, 8 pm
CLUB HOLLYWOOD
CASINO Johnny and the Bad
Boys, DJ Becka Page
COLUMBIA CITY THEATER
Freddy and Francine, 7 pm
CONOR BYRNE The Barn
Owls, Ben Hunter & Joe
Seamons, Squirrel Butter
H CROCODILE Helmet
a EL CORAZON Ensiferum,
Korpiklaani, TrollFest, 7 pm
HARD ROCK CAFE Kalimba,
The Spirit of Earth Wind
and Fire
HIGH DIVE Milhouse with
The Deities, The Stuntmen,
Graphene, Die Nasty
HIGHWAY 99 Too Slim & the
Taildraggers: 8 pm, $18
H a JAZZ ALLEY Ramsey
Lewis Quartet, 9:30 pm
JAZZBONES Stay Grounded,
Positive Rising, Da Beckoning
KATE’S PUB Decoys!, Deep
NO
COVER!
THE 350s
Sponsored by the
Seattle Drum School
9pm EVERY TUESDAY AT THE MIX IN GEORGETOWN
Bruce Hazen (Guitar), Alan Paisley (Bass), Steve Smith (Drums)
BY ADRIAN RYAN
C
an you smell that? Wafting
softly on the evening breeze?
Like the singular aroma of an H&M
on fire combined with the lingering scent of a glitter factory explosion? It’s Pride, of course, which
is now looming larger than Mama
Tits under a microscope. It’s critical
to plan ahead for it. And so! Please
drop the bong (just kidding—don’t
ever do that!) and keep your
beady little lashes glued to Slog
this week, because we here at The
Homosexual Agenda™ (i.e., ME)
will be giving away two highly coveted
ALL-ACCESS WEEKEND PASSES to Nark’s
absurdly popular battery of Pride events,
including Gender Blender (with our good
friend BenDeLaCreme, Ginger Minj, and
Miss Fame, which is frankly the worst
drag name in history, but don’t let that
stop you), the debaucherous Pride Cruise,
a new super-secret event I’ve promised
to not even MENTION yet (so pretend I
didn’t), and MORE! So pay close attention
for a chance to WIN BIG, MOTHAFUCKAH! In the meantime, we need to discuss
Mark Finley.
THURSDAY 5/7
HOW TO ROAST A MOM
If you’ve been gay and/or in Seattle for
more than 10 seconds, Mark (aka “Mom”)
Finley has probably left a big, throbbing
scar on your psyche. It’s only to be expected: She’s a natural disaster in heels! A
scandal in a wig! She’s harder to kill than a
Kevlar cockroach, more vulgar than two
turds in a teacup, and funnier than falling
down a flight of stairs! Indeed, Mark Finley
and her clacking dentures have scintillated,
tantalized, and wrought pure terror upon
Gay Seattle since Adam and Steve were
roller-skating with dinosaurs. Everybody
but EVERYbody has an opinion about dear
old Mom, and tonight we get to hear them:
ECLECTIC INSTRUMENTAL ROCK COVERS AND ORIGINALS.
The Mix - 6006 12th Ave. S. - Georgetown - Seattle, WA 98108
How-Mo-Lo-Can-Lo-Mo-go?!
Lo-Mo Mondays!
Manny’s Pale & Lucille IPA for the price
of Logan Morrison’s batting average.
EVERY MONDAY - ALL DAY!!
Happy Hour: Late Nite Fri & Sat 11pm-1am,
A luminous panel of luminaries (including,
well, me, god help them) are lining up to
take low jabs, make pot shots, and share
stories both triumphant and terrible about
the most polarizing and notorious
queen in all of Seattle herstory! The
Roast of Mark Finley! (Roasts are totally the
rage lately, you’ve noticed?) It’s going to be
hosted by none other than the legendary
Lady Bunny from NYC, several notable local
drag artists will participate, and there are
even whisperings that Wendy Ho and Lily
Tomlin will be joining from afar. You will
laugh, you will cringe, you will cry (with
more laughter), and best of all, you’ll finally
get to see ol’ Mom get what’s coming to
her. Hashtag karma. FRED Wildlife Refuge,
7 pm, $20/$50 VIP, 21+.
SUNDAY 5/10
JUST D-FACTS
The wait has ended at last! Julia’s has
revived Seattle’s own Drag Race, whence
fresh new queens (and trust me, there are
millions—is there something in the water?) show off their C.U.N.T. (charisma,
uniqueness… yadda, yadda) for the chance
to win the title and a spot on the Le Faux
cast—D-Factor season six! It’s always a fun
show, the celebrity judges can be delightfully brutal, and tonight is just the beginning… Julia’s, 6:30 pm, free, 21+.
Daily 4pm-7pm, Weekends 10am-2pm
Mariners
Games
in HD
206-547-1417 • 460 North 36th Street • normseatery.com
52
May 6, 2015
THE STRANGER
Channel, 8:30 pm, free
Seeger
R PLACE Therapy Saturday
KIRKLAND PERFORMANCE
CENTER Ina Mina Dika
TRACTOR TAVERN Cash’d
REVOLVER BAR Jazz Brunch:
KRAB JAB STUDIO Lennon
TRIPLE DOOR
MUSICQUARIUM LOUNGE
RUNWAY CAFE DJ David N
THE KRAKEN BAR &
LOUNGE Guns of Barisal,
Odyssey, They Rise, We Die
H a LANGSTON HUGHES
PERFORMING ARTS
INSTITUTE B’Shnorkestra:
Fri 5/8 - 8pm
ELECTRONIC
MUSIC NIGHT
Sat 5/9 - 7:30pm
HONEY NOBLE
AND NEIL WELCH
ds it.
deman
ex life
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COM
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EC
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WWW
Fri 5/14 - 7:30pm
OPEN MIC
Fri 5/15 - 7:30pm
MASON TURNER
AND THE REIGN
sat 5/16 - 8pm
PLANET FLY
$10 GROWLER FILLS ALL WEEK
(5/8 thru 5/15)!
3510 STONE WAY N SEATTLE, WA (206) 420-4435 • stonewaycafe.com
Global Concertos: Thione
Diop, Srivani Jade, Christos
Govetas, Guests, 8 pm
LITTLE RED HEN Troy Fair
Band: 9 pm, $5
THE MIX Load Levelers,
Spiderface, Suburban
Vermin, Know Nothingz
H MOORE THEATRE Seattle
Rock Orchestra Performs
The Beatles: 8 pm, $25
NECTAR Desert Dwellers,
Kaminanda, Halo Refuser,
Lotus Drops, 8 pm
NEPTUNE THEATRE
Wednesday, May 6th
Inter ArmA
Yautja, Mercy Ties,
Great Falls, Witch Ripper
9PM, $10-$12
Friday, May 8th
Mechanismus Presents
AssemblAge 23 and Alter Der Ruine
9PM, $15
Monday, May 11th
FUCK YeAH bIngO!
7PM, FREE
Friday, May 15th
DOA
Hilltop Rats, Dead Bars,
Bad Future
9PM, $12-$15
Kodaline, Gavin James
NEUMOS Chris Robinson
Brotherhood, 8 pm, $18
a OMCULTURE Love +
Music = Education: 7 pm
a PIES & PINTS Next 2 the
Tracks: 8:30 pm, free
THE ROYAL ROOM Twisted
Groove: Meter Music School
Student Recitals
H THE SHOWBOX SleaterKinney, 9 pm, $30
SKYLARK CAFE & CLUB The
Music of Weezer, U2, and
Guns N’ Roses: 9 pm, $7
SLIM’S LAST CHANCE
The Disco Cowboys, John
Hamhock & the Rooster Run
Band, Stoned Evergreen
Travelers: 9 pm
a STUDIO SEVEN Kung Fu
Vampire, Guests: 7 pm, $22
SUNSET TAVERN Zooma
Bella, 5:30 pm, $8,
McTuff, Haiku Chi, The
Cosmopolites, 10 pm, $8
a TOWN HALL Hootenanny!
A Town Hall Tribute to Pete
Out, 11 pm, $17
Mackapalooza 3: Charles
Mack, 9 pm, free
J A ZZ
green JellO
Headless Pez, Paralyzer,
WARNING DANGER,
Wolfgang Fuck
9PM, $10-$12
Sunday, May 17th
Highline’s 5 year anniversary show!:
eYeHAtegOD
Special Guests!
Transient
9PM, $20-$24
www.highlineseattle.com
210 Broadway Ave E • 21+
Dinner service Sun - Tues 4pm-8pm
SUBSTATION Brian Lyons,
Erin O’Connor, Ramiro, 9 pm
TRINITY Reload Saturdays
CLA S S ICA L
88 KEYS Dueling Piano Show
BRASS TACKS Triangular
Jazztet, 7 pm, free
a KERRY/PONCHO HALL
Vijay Iyer Trio, 8 pm
TULA’S Greta Matassa
Quartet: 7:30 pm, $15
VITO’S RESTAURANT &
LOUNGE Kareem Kandi,
Jerry Zimmerman, 6 pm, free
DJ
95 SLIDE Good Saturdays:
Sean Cee, Hyro, 9:30
pmASTON MANOR NRG
Saturdays: Guests
BALLROOM Sinful
Saturdays: Guests, 9 pm
BALMAR Top 40 Night
BALTIC ROOM Crave
Saturdays: McClarron, Swel
BARBOZA Inferno
CHOP SUEY Dance Yourself
Clean: Guests
H COLUMBIA CITY
THEATER Cirque du
Bollywood: DJ Kazan, 9 pm
CORBU LOUNGE DJ BBoy,
DJ 5 Star
a FADO IRISH PUB Fado
Saturdays: DJ Doogie, free
HAVANA Viva Havana &
Havana Social: DJ Sean
Cee, DJ Send, DJ Pho Sho
KREMWERK Bottom Forty
Interior Revival X: 9 pm
H LO-FI Emerald City Soul
Club: 9 pm, $10
MERCURY Machineries of
Joy: DJ Hana Solo, $5
NEIGHBOURS Powermix: DJ
Randy Schlager
PONY Glitoris
Saturday, May 16th
Rob Femur, DJ Vice Diamond
a BENAROYA HALL Mozart:
The Great Concertos
a MEANY HALL The Magic
Flute: Pacific MusicWorks,
University of Washington’s
School of Music, 7:30 pm
H a ST. JAMES CATHEDRAL
Prism—Pärt & MacMillan:
Seattle Pro Musica, 8 pm
a UW KANE HALL Soloists
with Philharmonia NW
SUN
5/10
LIV E
BARBOZA Tal National
H BLACK LODGE Neil
Michael Hagerty, Brain
Drain, Bad Blood: 9 pm
H CAFE RACER The Racer
Sessions, 7:30 pm, Free
CHOP SUEY Childbirth,
Mommy Long Legs, The Dee
Dees, Listen Lady: 3 pm, $5
a CROCODILE Kyle,
Brothers from Another: 8 pm
a EL CORAZON Sólstafir,
Ancient VVisdom, Guests
H a HARD ROCK CAFE
Caspar Babypants
H a JAZZ ALLEY Ramsey
Lewis Quartet, 7:30 pm
JAZZBONES Sinatra at the
Sands: Paul Wall
KELLS Liam Gallagher
a KEYARENA Neil Diamond
LITTLE RED HEN Honky
Tonkers
H MOORE THEATRE Seattle
Rock Orchestra Performs
The Beatles
a MURAL AMPHITHEATRE
Stone Karaoke Light Real
Music Festival: 6 pm
NECTAR Taarka, Renegade
Stringband, The Crow & the
Canyon, 7:30 pm, $10/$15
THE ROYAL ROOM Meter
Music School Student
Recitals: 11 am-5:30 pm
a THE SHOWBOX James
Bay, Elle King, 8 pm, $16
a SKYLARK CAFE & CLUB
Fallow, Trauma Del Ray,
Harpoon the Whale
TIM’S TAVERN Kirsten
Silva’s Seattle Songwriter
Showcase: Guests
a THE TRIPLE DOOR
THEATER In Dreams: A Live
Tribute to Roy Orbison
H a VERA PROJECT Harry
and the Potters, Lisa Prank
VICTORY LOUNGE Cmrtyz,
Versing: 9:30 pm
JA Z Z
THE ANGRY BEAVER The
Beaver Sessions
HOPVINE PUB Miss Miller &
the Swells, free
THE ROYAL ROOM Roxy
Coss Quintet, 7 pm,
SEAMONSTER Travis
Hartnett Trio, 7 pm, free
H a TULA’S Lonnie Mardis
& SCC Jazz Orchestra
H VITO’S RESTAURANT &
LOUNGE Ruby Bishop, 6
pm, Ron Weinstein Trio
DJ
CONTOUR Broken Grooves
CORBU LOUNGE Salsa
Sundays: DJ Nick, 9 pm
KREMWERK Sin: Soul-Fi:
Lust Strength
MERCURY Interzone: DJ
Coldheart, 9 pm, $5
NEIGHBOURS Noche Latina:
DJ Luis, DJ Polo
PONY TeaDance: DJ El Toro,
Freddy King of Pants
BY DAVE SEGAL
THURSDAY 5/7
DEORRO DROPS HOUSE-MUSIC BOMBAST FOR THE PANDA FUNK TOUR
Some weeks in Data Breakerland, the
shows just don’t inspire much enthusiasm. This, unfortunately, is one of them.
Our column begins with the Seattle stop on
the Panda Funk Tour, headlined by Deorro.
The LA native’s a wildly popular house-music producer/DJ who does big numbers on
Beatport, the massive electronic-music retail
outlet that serves as a barometer for what’s
pleasing the punters at any given moment.
Deorro makes bombastic, acidic house
anthems that trigger all the rote responses
with tried-and-true tricks (hands in the air
during the high-pitched synth parts when
the beat drops out, air punches for the
coming-back-with-a-vengeance beats,
shouts for the accelerated buildups, etc.).
Dude’s giving the not-so-demanding people
what they want and making bank, but this
stuff gives me hives. With Zoofunktion,
Dirty Audio, and IEZ. Showbox Sodo, 7
pm, $37.50–$45.50, 18+.
FRIDAY 5/8
DIPLO HAS BASS FOR YOUR
ASS(HOLES)
Hard to believe now, but I used to like
Diplo—back in the mid ’00s when he was a
wild-ass DJ in Hollertronix and putting
out weird down-tempo records on Ninja
Tune subsidiary Big Dada. Now he’s the
random white dude who’s everywhere,
glomming onto myriad hot international
styles and converting them into global
smashes, producing tracks for Madonna,
and collaborating with Skrillex as Jack
Ü. His latest work’s all about big-room,
alpha-male, bass-centric choons that
center on moving asses—literally, if you
consider “6th Gear,” a recent cut with Alvaro that serves as the soundtrack for the
“Official Fraules Team Twerk” video. How
Kettenkarussell
the whitey has risen… Big Bang World
Tour with Laidback Luke, Bro Safari, and
Branchez. Tacoma Dome, 8 pm, $68, 18+.
SATURDAY 5/9
GERMAN LABEL GIEGLING SHOWCASES SHIVER-INDUCING TECHNO AND
HOUSE
Okay, here’s a gig that redeems the week.
Decibel, secondnature, and Blue Spectral
Storm team up to bring us the German
triumvirate of Giegling label recording artists Kettenkarussell, Leafar Legov, and Konstantin. Kettenkarussell (Legov and Herr
Koreander) create understated techno that
weaves acoustic guitars, vibes, keyboards,
and odd noisemaking toys for a seamless,
shiver-inducing synthetic/organic vibe.
The effect is moody yet tranquil. What little
music I’ve heard by Legov solo sounds like a
more intimate iteration of the Knife—
creepy, quasi-gothic, and more about enticing textures than danceability. He shows
a light touch for haunting melodies and
calmly chugging rhythms. Finally, Konstantin’s a house DJ/producer of similarly subtle
sublimity. If you want to immerse yourself
in Giegling’s levitational aesthetic, tonight’s
the night. With Archivist and Joel Pryde.
Re-bar, 10 pm–4 am, $15 adv, 21+.
NEWS
F E AT U R E
R PLACE Homo Hop
★ RE-BAR Flammable: DJ
Wesley Holmes, Xan Lucero
C LA S S I C A L
a BENAROYA HALL
Tchaikovsky’s String
Quartet No. 1
a BRECHEMIN
AUDITORIUM Barry
Lieberman & Friends
a MEANY HALL The Magic
Flute: Pacific MusicWorks
MON
5/11
L I VE
88 KEYS Blues On Tap
CAPITOL CIDER
EntreMundos, 9:30 pm
a CROCODILE Dev, Go
Periscope
a EL CORAZON Maid
Myriad, The Fine Constant,
Tides of Malice, Thread the
Sky, 7:30 pm, Mothership,
Dirty Streets, Mother
Crone, 8:30 pm
a JAZZ ALLEY Mercer
Island Jazz Band, Bothell
High School Jazz Band
KELLS Liam Gallagher
MOLLY MAGUIRES Open
Mic
NECTAR Mo’ Jam Mondays:
Morganica Quartet, Guests
SEAMONSTER The
Halvornaughts, 10 pm, free
★ SUNSET TAVERN WIllis
Earl Beal, Skin Lies, 8 pm
TRIPLE DOOR
MUSICQUARIUM LOUNGE
Crossrhythm Sessions
a THE TRIPLE DOOR
THEATER Luke Wade,
Tommy Simmons: 7:30 pm
SUGGESTS
CHOP SUEY Some Girls, DJ
Sloppy Jo, DJ Dyl Widdit
a CROCODILE Wolf Alice,
Gateway Drugs, 8 pm, $12
a EL CORAZON Cartel,
Chroma, Team, Driver
Friendly, Hydra Melody
a FREMONT ABBEY Loch
Lomond, Windoe, Guests
HIGH DIVE Tim Held,
RAICA, Gel-Sol, 8 pm, $6
a JAZZ ALLEY Jane
Bunnett & Maqueque
KELLS Liam Gallagher
★ THE KRAKEN BAR &
LOUNGE All Eyes West, Vic
Bondi, Guests: 9 pm, $5
LITTLE RED HEN T & D
Revue
NARWHAL Sciatica,
Frustration, Hurry Up and
Die, Clocks!
NEUMOS Other Lives,
Riothorse Royale, 8 pm,
$15
PARAGON You Play
Tuesday: Guests, 8 pm, free
★ SEAMONSTER McTuff Trio
a STUDIO SEVEN Dog
Fashion Disco, Beebs &
Her Money Makers, Burn
the Travesty, Guests, 7 pm
Rushing, 8 pm, donation
TULA’S David Marriott Big
Band: 7:30 pm, $5
DJ
BALTIC ROOM Jam Jam:
Mista’ Chatman, DJ Element
★ BAR SUE Motown on
Mondays
★ THE HIDEOUT Industry
Standard: Guests, free
MOE BAR Moe Bar Monday
★ RE-BAR Collide-O-Scope
C LA S S I C A L
★ BENAROYA HALL After
Life: Ava Pine, Catherine
Cook, Robert Orth
TUE
5/12
L I VE
CAFE RACER Jacobs Posse
MUSIC
FILM
THE STRANGER
May 6, 2015
53
1
On Sale Now at StrangerTickets.com
Per Espen Stoknes:
How (Not) To Build Support
for Climate Policy
Greyhounds, The Witness:
TIM’S TAVERN Open Mic
TRIPLE DOOR
MUSICQUARIUM LOUNGE
Singer-Songwriter Showcase
THE TRIPLE DOOR
THEATER Susan Galbraith,
Zarni, Nick Drummond
VERMILLION Tinfoil and
Tape, DJ Oliver & M.F.’s Fish
of Water, 8 pm, free
Pre-Bridgetown
Comedy Festival
Showcase
Thursday, May 7 • Town Hall
J A ZZ
OWL N’ THISTLE Jazz with
Eric Verlinde
THE ROYAL ROOM
THE ROYAL ROOM Zachary
CHOW
SUNSET TAVERN
PINK DOOR Marina Albero
JAZZ
ARTS
Christian Pincock’s
Slipstitch & Ivan Arteaga,
Chris Icasiano, Jeff Johnson
SEAMONSTER Celestial
Navigation, 8 pm, free
TULA’S Emerald City Jazz
Orchestra: 8 pm, $5
DJ
BLUE MOON TAVERN
Blue Moon Vinyl Revival
Tuesdays
CORBU LOUNGE Club NYX
Wave & Goth: 10 pm, $5
DARRELL’S TAVERN DJ
Wade T, free
THE EAGLE Pitstop: DJ
Nark
HAVANA Real Love ‘90s
MERCURY Die: Black Maru,
Major Tom, $5
NEIGHBOURS Pump It Up
C L A S S I CAL
a BRECHEMIN
AUDITORIUM BM Recital
Friday, 5/8
Diamonds &
Gold Tour:
The Art Deco
Skyscraper
Northwest Style
HOOTENANNY!
Seattle
Architecture
Foundation
All Ages Sing-along Tribute
to Pete Seeger
Decibel presents:
Leonard Mlodinow:
The Evolution of Scientiﬁc
Discovery
Giegling Tour
Saturday, 5/9 • Town Hall
featuring
Kettenkarussell, Leafar
Legov & Konstantin
Saturday, May 9 at Re-Bar
WEDNESDAY, 5/13 • COLUMBIA CITY THEATER
Monday, 5/11 • Town Hall
Thursday,
May 14
The
Rendezvous
Friday,
May 8
I
t’s time again for the annual Sasquatch! poster show, which includes
work by a bunch of designers (Shogo
Ota, Matt Harvey, Aaron Bloom, and
many more) who appear regularly in
this space. This fine example is by Benjamin K. Shown. AARON HUFFMAN
Sasquatch! Poster Show
Thurs May 7, Piranha Shop
with Screens -Richie Dagger's
Crimes -and more!
Columbia City
Theater
54
May 6, 2015
THE STRANGER
5030 ROOSEVELT WAY NE, SEATTLE • 206-524-8554
www.scarecrow.com
for a
Sign Up hip for
s
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REN DAY
WEDNES
ON SALE THIS WEEK Also available for rent
SELMA
One of the Most Important Films of 2014
DVD $22.95 Blu-ray $28.95
MR. TURNER
How Does Such a Grumpy Man Make Such Lovely Art?
Blu-ray $26.95
MAD MAX (Collector’s Edition)
The Last of the V8 Interceptors!
Blu-ray $16.95
ALSO NEW THIS WEEK
For a full list of New Releases for rent + sale, visit scarecrow.com
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY
(Available Fri. 5/8) Whip It!
DVD / Blu-ray $28.95
WINTER SLEEP
Meditative Modern Turkish Masterpiece
Blu-ray $24.95
42ND STREET
Classic Busby Berkeley!
Blu-ray $19.95
DUEL
Spielberg’s First Thrill-ride
Blu-ray $17.95
GOODFELLAS (25th Anniversary)
One Dog’s Goin’ One Way, One Dog’s Goin’ the Other Way
Blu-ray $29.95
THE ADVENTURES OF FORD FAIRLANE
This was Peak “Dice”.
Blu-ray $15.95
Frank Sinatra
5-Film
Collection!
$54.95 on Blu-ray
Anchors Aweigh, One the Town,
Robin & the 7 Hoods -- $17.95 Each
CLINT
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$69.95 on Blu-ray
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iSSaquah, Wa 98027
(425) 313-5666 - Movieline
206.324.9996
siff.net
2015 Seattle International Film Festival Begins May 14 with
Opening Night Film
NOW PLAYING
Fri May 8 - Thu May 14
EGYPTIAN
IRIS
Midnight Adrenaline | May 9
THE ROCKY HORROR
PICTURE SHOW
UPTOWN
THE MOST POPULAR GUIDE TO THE SEATTLE INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL
THE MOST POPULAR GUIDE TO THE
SEATTLE INTERNATIONAL
FILM FESTIVAL
Academy Award Nominee
TANGERINES
Futuristic shocker
with
Director Paul Feig
in Person
Best Party
of the Year!
Issue Date:
WEDNESDAY, MAY 13th
For over 20 years, The Stranger’s guide to
the Seattle International Film Festival has
been the go-to resource for 150,000
filmgoers each year.
Noah Baumbach’s
WHILE WE’RE
YOUNG
FILM CENTER
Stage to Screen | May 8-10
NT Live: THE
HARD PROBLEM
Held over: Fri-Sun
DIOR & I
Albert Maysles’ final
documentary, following
93-year-old style maven
Iris Apfel
and
WHAT WE DO IN
THE SHADOWS
SIFF EDUCATION
May 9
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Ad Deadline:
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SIFF CINEMA UPTOWN | 511 Queen Anne Ave N
SIFF FILM CENTER | Seattle Center NW Rooms
siff.net/summercamps
FESTIVAL 2015
Save the date: May 27
An evening with
KEVIN BACON
at SIFF Cinema Egyptian
NEWS
F E AT U R E
SUGGESTS
ARTS
CHOW
MUSIC
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THE STRANGER
May 6, 2015
55
FILM
LAMBERT & STAMP Chris Stamp and Kit Lambert, without whom Pete Townshend
might never have smashed a guitar.
The Amazing Journey
of Lambert & Stamp
Brilliant New Documentary Examines
the Unlikely Duo Behind the Who
BY NED LANNAMANN
A
ll Kit Lambert and Chris Stamp wanted was to make a movie.
The fate of this pair of would-be impresarios was sealed
in 1964, when they decided to make a documentary about a West
London rock ’n’ roll group. Thanks largely documentary about the managers’ partnerto their intervention, the band they set their ship and the era that fed and was fed by it,
the circle is complete.
sights on became the Who, and
Lambert, in particular, is a
Lambert and Stamp became
Lambert & Stamp
fascinating figure, well worthy
two of the most notorious—and
dir. James D. Cooper
Sundance Cinemas
of a movie of his own. (Which
ingenious—rock managers in a
could be in the offing—Cary
field crowded with the likes of
Brian Epstein, Andrew Loog Oldham, and Elwes has been attached to direct a Lambert
Robert Stigwood. With the release of Lam- biopic.) The Oxford-educated son of a wellbert & Stamp, a brilliant, wholly absorbing regarded classical composer, Lambert had
Morgan Freeman
and Diane Keaton
Grow Old Together
BY SEAN NELSON
I
t’s hard enough to know how you authenti- equations that nearly all narrative screencally respond to a film like 5 Flights Up, plays basically are.
In this case: The couple (Ruth and Alex)
in which Morgan Freeman and Diane Keaton
is trying to sell the big Brooklyn walk-up
play a long-married couple who—
they’ve lived in for 40 years and can’t afford
Okay, let’s just back up one second.
Morgan Freeman. Diane Keaton. Married to move to a building with an elevator until
couple. Live with that image. Marinate in its they do. He’s a once-successful, now-unfashionable painter; she’s a retired
vast potential. But you’re right to
teacher. The formerly sketchy,
ask: Is this the real Keaton and
5 Flights Up
now-Starbucksed neighborhood
Freeman, or is it Mad Money
dir. Richard Loncraine
has changed—though the onlyWide release
Keaton and Bucket List Freein-the-movies neighbors all know
man? For the first 10 minutes of 5
Flights Up, it’s difficult to say, since Ameri- each other’s business and even the cabdrivcan movies are forever spending their first ers are menschy. Meanwhile: A breaking
10 minutes establishing characters—and story about an abandoned truck that may or
thus insulting viewers—to within an inch may not contain a terrorist bomb is all over
of their lives, the better to set up the math the news and on everyone’s mind. Also: Their
an unconventional upbringing that bridged Stamp’s vibrant footage of the band perEngland’s conservative aristocracy and the forming in a seedy London pub, years before
flamboyance of his father’s artistic peers. Monterey Pop and Woodstock. And there are
After finishing his studies, he traveled to the the requisite Keith Moon stories, although
Amazon, where a member of his team was one of the film’s most powerful moments
killed by natives. Upon his return to England, comes when Townshend and Roger Daltrey
he worked at Shepperton Studios, on big quietly discuss the troubled drummer’s menBritish productions like From Russia with tal-health problems. But this remains chiefly
Love and The Guns of Navarone. Later, as a film about the men behind the band. Workthe Who’s producer and manager, he urged ing in unlikely concert, Lambert and Stamp
Pete Townshend to push beyond the limits transformed Townshend, Daltrey, Moon, and
of three-minute pop singles and compose John Entwistle (“a fucking genius,” Townshsomething more ambitious; “A Quick One, end yells in one interview) from a bunch of
While He’s Away” and later Tommy were the street-fighting yobs into a multifaceted popgroundbreaking results. Naturally, Lambert art act at the height of Swinging London—an
was a man of appetite and ego, and his life incredible feat given how volatile the relationended at age 45 in a fog of booze, drugs, and ships between the group’s members were.
rent boys.
Massive success followed, and of course it
Stamp, on the other hand, was strictly all went to shit as the partnership dissolved
working-class, the brother of renowned ac- in lawsuits, acrimony, and frantic grabs for
tor Terence Stamp and a
cash. Despite the preperfect everyman foil to
dictable narrative, the
Lambert’s
upper-crust
Lambert and Stamp documentary is insightgentleman. He was as
ful, sad, and moving,
transformed the
hetero as Lambert wasn’t,
making particular use of
first breaking into showbiz Who from a bunch of a series of interviews conas a stagehand at the balstreet-fighting yobs ducted with Stamp before
let, a position that suited
his death in 2012. He and
into multifaceted
him perfectly, as he could
the surviving members of
eyeball the dancers during
the Who are reconciled,
pop art.
the performance and then
and all parties appear to
court them afterward.
be as amazed as we are
The men came together at an auspicious at the remarkable, weird, tragic, triumphant
time and place: London in the early 1960s, story of their lives.
as the Beatles were breaking through and as
Lambert & Stamp comes at a bountiful
James Bond’s virile British suavity became time for Who devotees. The band’s studio althe biggest export in international cinema. bums have all been newly reissued on vinyl,
After generations of stuffiness, empire, and and Mark Blake’s excellent new biograwarfare, the United Kingdom’s capital city phy, Pretend You’re in a War: The Who &
had become a hotbed of artistic fecundity, the Sixties, was just published a few weeks
unrivaled in terms of breadth, depth, and ago. Meanwhile, Daltrey and Townshend are
influence to this day. Postwar gloom finally currently touring for the band’s “50th” angave way to Carnaby Street Technicolor, niversary (a number that must come from
and an entire nation seemed to loosen. But the release date of their first single, “I Can’t
the prizes—notably sex, drugs, and rock ’n’ Explain”). Cooper’s terrific documentary is
roll—also became pitfalls.
an essential addition to the canon of one of
Lambert & Stamp was painstakingly as- the most-documented careers in music hissembled over many years by director James tory, providing more insight than ever into
D. Cooper, whose bulldog filmmaking style an incredibly mismatched group of men that
suits his subjects. There’s plenty about the made violent, impassioned, often misunderWho, of course, including Lambert and stood music. n
dog has a very expensive back
injury. Which is to say: Everything is up in the air. The
stage is set for the kind of
real-life, lower-middle-class
kitchen-sinker—in which economic circumstance is one of
the prime dramatic engines—
that Hollywood is notorious
for getting completely wrong.
5 Flights Up both is and isn’t
that kind of film.
If its identity is somewhat
muddled (there’s an awful lot
of supposedly comic material that will only be of interest to people who
have experience with the New York City realestate market, and the terrorist subplot feels
weirdly stapled on), this adaptation of Jill
Ciment’s novel Heroic Measures—in which
Alex and Ruth are a pair of old-line leftist
Jews—succeeds at depicting a plausible
marriage at an unconventional crossroads.
There’s no sense that the couple won’t make
it (or that the dog will be fine, or that the guy
will turn out not to be a terrorist, etc.), but
their dawning awareness that the life they’ve
built has long since entered its final act lends
a tenderness to their bickery banter, and
invests their quest to up stakes with a preciousness. The good kind.
Freeman and Keaton make their worth
known (duh) in the sad, sweet moments between their otherwise whatever dialogue,
thus allowing a film that would like to pretend
it’s about city life, race and class in America,
and the conflict between art and commerce
reveal, however gradually, that it’s actually
about the real price of sharing your life. n
56
May 6, 2015
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A BMX drama from 1986 that allegedly “has one of the
most romantic dance sequences on bikes that you will
ever see.” Central Cinema, Fri-Tues 9:30 pm.
ROAR
capital and largest city. The king is brutally repressing his
subjects. And the king is kept in power by freedom-loving
USA (photo of Hillary Clinton shaking hands with the
king), which has a military base on the island and is also
economically addicted to its oil. To keep things in order,
the king turns directly to Saudi Arabia for military support.
The movement for democracy, however, has been committed to peace and also to rights for women. Women
march with men, women want wrongs to be addressed,
women remember their dead. The documentary is fearless, insightful, and has a big heart for those who are in
this long but beautiful struggle. (CHARLES MUDEDE)
Grand Illusion, Thurs May 7 at 8 pm. STIFF continues
through Sun. For complete schedule and showtimes,
see trueindependent.org.
In the five decades since she starred in The Birds, Tippi
Hedren has spent more time helping to save the animals
than acting, so it’s fitting that she appears in this oddball
1981 artifact about big cats in Africa (it was actually filmed
in California). Just as Janet Leigh, another Alfred Hitchcock
veteran, starred with her daughter, Jamie Lee Curtis, in
John Carpenter’s The Fog, Hedren’s daughter, Melanie
Griffith, came along on the arduous, 11-year journey. The
story, such as it is, pivots on the efforts of a shouty zoologist (director Noel Marshall, Hedren’s husband at the time),
NOW PLAYING
his wife (Hedren), and their kids (Griffith and Noel’s sons,
AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON
John and Jerry) to make peace with the lions and tigers
Even those whose nerd blood runs lukewarm should
that have overrun their property. The animals are amazacknowledge the skill with which The Avengers did its
ing—whiny young lion Gary may remind you of teenagers
thing, throwing together multiple franchises into a jumbo
you’ve known—but the acting is terrible. Unlike 1971’s
combo pack that somehow didn’t feel like a
Wake in Fright, which featured a real kangaletdown. Age of Ultron is, it must be said, a
roo hunt, the American Humane Association
Tons
more
clunkier affair than its predecessor, shoehornsigned off on Roar, stating that “no animals
reviews online!
ing too many new characters into a narrative
were harmed during the making of this film,”
thestranger.com/film
that devotes more time to setting up future
though the animal-on-human violence led
conflicts than to resolving the ones in the
to 70 injuries, including the partial scalping
constantly exploding now. And yet, while you’re watching
of cinematographer-turned-Speed-director Jan de Bont.
it, none of these deficits really seem to matter all that much.
John Marshall recently summed up this boondoggle best
Warts and all, this is one of the all-too-rare preordained
when he told the Los Angeles Times, “I guess it’s a labor
blockbusters that doesn’t take the audience’s enjoyof love or stupidity or whatever.” (KATHY FENNESSY)
ment for granted. Opening with a confidently show-offy
Grand Illusion, Sun May 10 at 5 and 7 pm.
battle scene, director Joss Whedon’s script finds Iron
H THE TRIPLETS OF BELLEVILLE
Man, Black Widow, Hulk, and the rest putting aside their
This animated classic from France tells the surreal tale of
ideological bickering to square off against the rogue AI
an elderly woman who enlists a trio of music-hall singers
Ultron (James Spader, who delightfully refuses to sound
and one obese dog to help her rescue her kidnapped
even the slightest bit robotic). Things go boom, lasers go
grandson. Central Cinema, Fri-Sat 7 pm, Sun 3, 7 pm,
kapow, Captain America 3 is up next. Whedon, who has
Mon-Tues 7 pm.
announced that he’s bowing out after this installment,
makes the most of having too full of a plate, expanding the
H WITNESS BAHRAIN
action scenes while also ensuring that the quippy wealth
One of the best documentaries I have seen this year
is much better distributed among the characters this time
premieres at Seattle Transmedia & Independent Film
around. (Jeremy Renner’s Hawkeye gets the best lines,
Festival (STIFF), is made by a local director, Jen Marlowe,
which even he seems pleasantly surprised about.) Two
and concerns the state of the small island country Bahrain
hours and change is a long time to mainline anything, really,
two years after the turbulent Arab Spring. Witness Bahrain
throws us right into the struggle for basic human rights
and Age of Ultron definitely loses some of its juice by the
and democracy in the streets of Manama, the country’s
third act, especially when it starts laying the groundwork
I♥
TELEVISION
TM
B Y W M . TM S T E V E N
HUMPHREY
MOST FULLEST HOUSE
As you know, I’m always in search of my
next “gravy train.” You know, a person or
scheme that will make me rich beyond my
wildest dreams—although I would never
say no to an actual train filled with gravy.
Recent gravy trains include my plan to
marry a rich old person… but Warren
Buffett wasn’t interested. Another involved inventing an app that would notify
ice-cream trucks to drive by your house…
kind of like an Uber for adult-onset diabetics. But that idea blew up after learning
my customer base is primarily morbidly
obese 10-year-olds whose parents refuse
to further fatten up their kids. HEY, DUMB
PARENTS! IT’S NOT MY FAULT ICE CREAM IS
DELICIOUS!
Well, I recently stumbled onto a new
potential gravy train called “your nostalgic
need for crappy reboots of Full House.” As
you may have heard, Netflix is producing
a reboot of the 1980s sitcom classic Full House to be called Fuller House.
Spoiler alert: THAT IS A TERRIBLE NAME.
Already signed up to star are Candace
Cameron Bure (big sis D.J. Tanner), Jodie
Sweetin (middle sis Stephanie Tanner), and
Andrea Barber (neighbor Kimmy Gibbler),
who shack up to help raise D.J.’s twin
boys. Uncle Jesse (hunky mullet-owner
John Stamos) will guest star, and plans
to bring on Bob Saget, Dave Coulier, Lori
Loughlin, and Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen
(SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!) are in the works.
Everybody in the world knows this show
is going to suck hippo anus—and yet? There
is money to be made off your nostalgia
addiction, my friend! And nobody knows
this better than the Lifetime network,
which—after achieving wild success with
its horrific The Unauthorized Saved by the
Bell Story—is hitching its wagon up to this
nostalgia-driven project and is currently
casting the made-for-TV movie Unauthorized Full House Story. A woefully unoriginal
idea? YES, IT IS! Do they care? NO, THEY DO
NOT! And do I want in on this gravy-train
action? YES, I MOST CERTAINLY DO.
Sure, I could spend the rest of my days
dreaming up brilliant, original ideas—but
those don’t put gravy in the train, my
friend! The dumb people of the world
know that recycling crappy ideas is the
only way to make maximum buckage (aka dollars, aka mucho dinero, aka
moolah-lah). And with that, here is MY
$$$$-earning idea to cash in on the Full
House craze. It’s called “The Most Fullest House Experience!” and here’s how it
works: You pay me to move you into a San
Francisco house that you share with two
other guys and three small girls (actually
four small girls, because two are twins…
who are never in the same room at the
same time but share a name). So basically,
you become either a stick-in-the-mud dad,
a really bad comedian, or a dude with a
mullet—and you spend your days in the
worst communal living situation in the
universe. But on the upside? There’s always
a laugh track!
You’ll stay there for 18 years until the
girls graduate, while paying for all living
expenses, as well as their college. And I’ll
charge you only $100,000 per year—which
may sound a tad expensive… but what
price “nostalgia,” am I right? n
Read Humpy’s weekly TV listings at
THESTRANGER.COM
NEWS
F E AT U R E
SUGGESTS
for all of the Marvel movies down the road. Even at its
most cosmically overstuffed, however, the fun everyone
seems to be having up there remains infectious. Yes,
comic-book movies are crowding out everything else,
are the eventual heat death of cinema, and so forth. But,
man, there’s just so much neat stuff here. Boom. Kapow.
(ANDREW WRIGHT) Various locations.
ARTS
CHOW
MUSIC
FILM
THE STRANGER
May 6, 2015
57
Seattle
4500 9th AVE NE • 206-633-0059
H CLOUDS OF SILS MARIA
Those who are familiar with the films of the great French
director Olivier Assayas will receive useful information
from the place I locate his latest feature, Clouds of Sils
Maria, in the body of his previous work: It’s somewhere
between Irma Vep and Late August, Early September.
The first is about the state of cinema; the second is
built and feels like a deep novel. In Clouds, the director
takes a look at the state of 21st-century Hollywood—it’s
dominated by superheroes and green screens. The
story, which concerns a very close relationship between
a famous but aging French actress (Juliette Binoche)
and her young and snappy American personal assistant
(Kristen Stewart), unfolds with the grace and intellectual
momentum of a novel—the film even has chapters and an
epilogue. Clouds also has many, many beautiful scenes
and sequences. While watching, you feel like you are
breathing the special air of the rich and famous. You
walk with them up and down the Alps, you dine with
them at posh restaurants, you sit with with them in first
class. Assayas knows the elite region of entertainers
inside and out, and Stewart’s performance will make
you see her beyond the horrors and stupidities of the
Twilight series. (CHARLES MUDEDE) Seven Gables,
Fri 4:30, 7:10, 9:45 pm, Sat-Sun 1:50, 4:30, 7:10, 9:45
pm, Mon-Tues 4:30, 7:10, 9:45 pm.
H EX MACHINA
This is the near future. A sleek black helicopter flies
toward a place that looks like the Arctic. Miles upon
miles of hills and fields are covered in ice and snow.
There is only one passenger in the helicopter; he is
a young employee, Caleb (Domhnall Gleeson, who in
this film looks like a young Bill Gates, and with good
reason), of a huge internet corporation that’s very much
like Facebook. It is, in fact, called Bluebook (a name
based on a book of lectures delivered by the early-20thcentury philosopher and logician Ludwig Wittgenstein).
In a competition, Caleb has won the honor of meeting
his boss, Nathan (rising star Oscar Isaac), a man who
has amassed the kind of fortune that can buy the whole
Arctic and who has plans for his employee. Caleb soon
learns that his boss is developing a robot, Ava (Alicia
Vikander), with the power of self-awareness. But the
trillionaire wants to be certain about his creation (which
is top secret and the next big thing that will change
human history and make him yet another trillion bucks).
He wants proof that it is as self-aware as a human. It is
Caleb’s job to determine the extent, depth, and realness
of the robot’s self-awareness. He begins performing tests
on the beautiful Ava, which unlike the beautiful Rachael
in Blade Runner is aware that it is a robot, created by
a human. I very much doubt that the year will produce a
better sci-fi film than Ex Machina. It has a solid plot with
a pace that is not slow but not at all fast. Every word
matters in this film: Not a look, movement, or sequence
is wasted by first-time director Alex Garland. And it all
leads to an impressive conclusion that’s not so much
about the future but about what it really takes to stage
a revolt against your masters. The break (or, to use the
language of Foucault, the rupture) has to be brutal and
total. For the effective beginning of a new world, nothing
of the past must be preserved. (CHARLES MUDEDE)
Various locations.
WHILE WE’RE YOUNG
Intentionally or otherwise, Noah Baumbach’s While
We’re Young plays like a sequel to 2010’s Greenberg,
in which middle-aged Ben Stiller was both befuddled
by and attracted to game-for-anything millennials like
Greta Gerwig. In Baumbach’s nouvelle vague-inspired
follow-up, 2012’s Frances Ha, cowriter Gerwig took
the lead as a 27-year-old dancer at a crossroads in her
life. It was a deeply sympathetic piece of work—and his
best film. If the new one doesn’t hit the same heights, it’s
acutely perceptive and painfully funny. This time, Stiller’s
Josh isn’t a single sadsack, but a married sadsack. His
career as a documentarian is stuck in neutral, his friends
(including a very good Adam Horovitz as a Wilco fan
with back problems) are having babies, his father-in-law
(Charles Grodin, a minimalist par excellence) makes him
feel like a failure, and he and his wife, Cornelia (Naomi
Watts, an underrated comic actress), are bored. Then
they meet Jamie (Adam Driver) and Darby (Amanda
Seyfried), a couple in their 20s who listen to bad ‘80s
records, watch beat-up VHS tapes, and make all their
own stuff. Josh and Cornelia come alive again in their
presence. Once Josh segues from besotted mentor
to hectoring detective, the film threatens to go off the
rails until Baumbach restores equilibrium by ending on
the same funny-sad grace note with which he began.
(KATHY FENNESSY) Sundance Cinemas, Fri-Tues.
For showtimes, see thestranger.com/film.
Two ways To save aT
Sundance Seattle
Monday iS $6 oRca day
show your orca card all
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full Bar & BisTro fare • reserved seaTs
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FAR FROM THE
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AVENGERS: AGE OF
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THE D TRAIN
5 FLIGHTS UP
IRIS
LAMBERT & STAMP
EX MACHINA
WHILE WE’RE YOUNG
-Jake Coyle,
a film by james
d. cooper
THE UNKNOWN STORY BEHIND THE CREATION OF
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BY ALL MEANS
CELEBRATE ALBERT
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FROM T H E D I RECTOR OF
GREY GARDENS & GIMME S HELTER
A FI L M BY A L B E RT MAYS L E S
WOMAN IN GOLD
The fact that Holocaust victims and their descendants are
attempting to reclaim art stolen by the Nazis in increasing
numbers could have a huge impact—not just on museum
holdings, but on the world’s ability to remember the ills
of history. The case of Maria Altmann (Helen Mirren) is
perhaps the most significant—along with a rookie lawyer
(Ryan Reynolds, trying to hide behind khaki pants and
glasses), Altmann successfully sued the Republic of
Austria for the return of several Gustav Klimt paintings, including a portrait of her aunt that had become
the nation’s equivalent of the Mona Lisa. That’s pretty
badass, but Simon Curtis’s portrayal of the years-long
battle is a plodding, oversimplified courtroom procedural
spliced with pretty-but-wooden flashbacks. Content to
cheerlead its protagonists, the film’s refusal to engage
in any reasonable way with the opposing argument is
borderline irresponsible… and irresponsibly dull. The
film also features Katie Holmes reprising her role as
a housebound, baby-having yes-woman. (MARJORIE
SKINNER) Various locations.
“RIOTOUSLY ENTERTAINING. LAMBERT AND STAMP
WOULD MOLD THE WHO INTO ONE OF
THE GREAT ROCK ‘N’ ROLL BANDS.”
m a g p i c t u re s .co m / i r i s
STARTS FRIDAY, MAY 8
SEATTLE SIFF Egyptian Theatre (206) 324-9996
SEATTLE Sundance Cinemas Seattle (206) 633-0059
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Emmett
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CLASSES ‘N’ WORKSHOPS
SUPERIOR COURT OF WASHINGTON COUNTY OF KING
In re:
Deborah West, Petitioner
And Abdourahame Bangoura, Respondent.
No. 15-3-02324-5KNT
Summons by Publication (SMPB)
TO THE RESPONDENT: Abdourahame Bangoura
1. The petitioner has started an action in the above court requesting that
your marriage or domestic partnership be dissolved.
3. You must respond to this summons by serving a copy of your
written response on the person signing this summons and by ﬁling
the original with the clerk of the court. If you do not serve your written
response within 60 days after the date of the ﬁrst publication of this
summons (60 days after the 15 day of April, 2015), the court may enter an order of default against you, and the court may, without further
notice to you, enter a decree and approve or provide for other relief
requested in this summons. In the case of a dissolution, the court
will not enter the ﬁnal decree until at least 90 days after service and
ﬁling. If you serve a notice of appearance on the undersigned person,
you are entitled to notice before an order of default or a decree may
be entered.
WORK FOR
BEER!
(Really good beer)
6. One method of serving a copy of your response on the petitioner is
to send it by certiﬁed mail with return receipt requested.
7. Other: Order for Service of Summons by Publication.
This summons is issued pursuant to RCW 4.28.100 and Superior
Court Civil Rule 4.1 of the state of Washington.
Dated: 4/10/15
Deborah West
Signature of Petitioner or Lawyer/WSBA No.
File original of your response with the clerk of the court at
Clerk of the Court at:
Maleng Regional Justice Center
401 - 4th Avenue N.
Kent, Washington 98032
Serve a copy of your response on: Petitioner (you may list an address that is not your residential address where you agree to accept
legal documents. Any time this address changes while this action
is pending, you must notify the opposing parties in writing and ﬁle
an updated Conﬁdential Information Form (WPF DRPSCU 09.0200)
with the court clerk.)
Deborah West
25040 - 106th Ave SE #H-306
Kent, WA 98030
COCKTAIL
COMPASS
Keep Seattle’s comprehensive
Happy Hour Guide
4. Your written response to the summons and petition must be on form
WPF DR 01.0300, Response to Petition (Marriage). Information about
how to get this form may be obtained by contacting the clerk of the
court, by contacting the Administrative Ofﬁce of the Courts at (360)
705-5328, or from the Internet at the Washington State Courts homepage: http://www.courts.wa.gov/forms
5. If you wish to seek the advice of an attorney in this matter, you
should do so promptly so that your written response, if any, may be
served on time.
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THE
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May 6,
6, 2015
2015
May
59
WARNING
HOT
GUYS!
Read bucketloads more (or place your own) online at www.thestranger.com/personals
BUZZED BEAUTY
Buzzed, black haired beauty with
glasses rode E Line from Denny to
Greenlake, noticed you before we got
on @5 PM, nice smile when you
got off. Me: tall, older, bi-colored
nails. You’re adorable, get to know
each other? When: Saturday,
April 25, 2015. Where: Denny
Triangle. You: Woman. Me: Man.
#921072
CORGI GUY
Passing by on the #40 bus near
5th and Bell. You were walking your
cute as hell corgi. You: Backwards
hat,beard, flip flops, green shirt. Cute
dude. Beer and corgi date? When:
Thursday, April 23, 2015.
Where: 5th and Bell. You: Man.
Me: Woman. #921071
PULLED ME OVER, 1-5
NORTHBOUND
You’re the cop that pulled over a
cute girl that didn’t have any registration, proof of insurance, outdated
tabs since 2008, oh boy and what
else. The flood light isn’t the most
flattering, but you are hot! Can we
date? When: Wednesday, April
22, 2015. Where: On the side of
the road 1-5 Northbound. You:
Man. Me: Woman. #921068
EAST SIDE SAFEWAY STOCK
BOY
Our eyes met, a smile shared, the
energy felt was undeniable. I hope
you see this, because if you do, you’ll
know who you are. Let’s add words to
this connection. When: Monday,
April 20, 2015. Where: Juanita
Safeway in Kirkland. You: Man.
Me: Man. #921067
RED APPLE BATTERY JUMP
You needed a jump and I wished I
knew how to open my hood. Even
more I wished I gave you my card in
case you needed roadside assistance
again! : ) When: Saturday, April
18, 2015. Where: Red Apple
on Jackson St.. You: Man. Me:
Woman. #921066
PFI AND SHARED FETA
You were with your mom at Big John’s
PFI Monday, April 20th buying fascinating beans. We bought the same
gouda, and shared Bulgarian feta.
We should make quesadillas. When:
Monday, April 20, 2015. Where:
Big John’s PFI. You: Man. Me:
Woman. #921065
TOP KNOT AT ADD-A-BALL
You were at Add-a-ball Saturday
night. You are so handsome. We kept
on smiling but neither of us said
anything. That was silly of me. Lets
try again soon. When: Saturday,
April 18, 2015. Where: Adda-ball. You: Man. Me: Woman.
#921064
DINNER FOR 1 AT LINDA’S
You forgot avocado on my burger on
my birthday when I was by myself..
You offered my whole meal for free.
This was last November and I haven’t
forgotten.Dinner on me? .You- waiter,
dark hair, a couple tattoo’s, Keanu
Reeves lookin. When: Saturday,
April 18, 2015. Where: Linda’s
Tavern. You: Man. Me: Man.
#921063
HEY, ORANGE NAIL POLISH
You rolled up real cool and calm to
bum a cigg from me in alley. I should
have smoked a bowl with you and
your friends! lets meet again When:
Friday, April 17, 2015. Where:
In the alley by the 5 point. You:
Man. Me: Woman. #921062
EL BORRACHO, TATTOOED
BEAUTY
El Borracho tonight in Ballard. Sexy
black dress, tattoos on your arms,
black hair pinkish bangs. Looked like
you were on an awkward first date?
You are absolutely beautiful, I was
praying for an opportunity to talk
to you. When: Thursday, April
16, 2015. Where: El Borracho
Ballard. You: Woman. Me: Man.
#921061
BLONDE BOMBSHELL SINGER NORTHCITY TAV
Hi Kate-Hated to leave Saturday
night but I had to take my friend to
Everett. You were getting ready to
sing ‘hit me with your best shot’ I’m
John. I sing too, lets harmonize!
When: Saturday, April 11, 2015.
Where: North City Tavern. You:
Woman. Me: Man. #921058
CLEVER TROUSERS
When I saw you I was electrified,
which was fitting considering your
lightning bolt shirt. The sincerity of
your smile really spoke to me. Ceviche
sometime? When: Sunday, April
12, 2015. Where: smarty pants,
georgetown. You: Man. Me:
Woman. #921057
WELCOME TO SEATTLE
GRACE
Thanks for the help - your cheery smile
made my day. You’re invited to drinks
if you like. When: Saturday, April
11, 2015. Where: Downtown
Nordstrom
Clinique.
You:
Woman. Me: Man. #921056
DAWN WITH A W
BEAUTY AT BUFFALO
EXCHANGE
The day before Halloween, you told
me you were going to be a witch; I
wanted to be Spiderman. I just walked
in and, finally, saw you again. You’re
gorgeous,petite with black/red hair.
Me:wearing leather jacket, wantingto take you out. When: Tuesday,
April 7, 2015. Where: Buffalo
Exchange UD. You: Woman. Me:
Man. #921048
WE MET AT REIONEASTER
We met at REI on Easter, I asked to
play with your adorable blue heeler.
She was deaf but she responded to
her sign (floppy ear). My opening line
was talking to you about stoves (such
an REI move). When: Sunday, April
5, 2015. Where: REI. You: Man.
Me: Woman. #921047
106 STOP GEORGETOWN
Red boots and glasses. I had glasses and a blue jacket. Both reading
books on the bus. I said a quick hi
today. Want to grab coffee? When:
Thursday, April 2, 2015. Where:
Georgetown. You: Woman. Me:
Man. #921046
CUTE CHEF @ ROCKCREEK!
Let it slip to my friend that you were
cute; she’d passed it on to the bartender, and down the grapevine it
went. Next thing I know, we’re getting
desserts. I gave you my number. You
should use it. When: Friday, March
20, 2015. Where: RockCreek.
You: Man. Me: Woman.
#921043
72E SOUTHBOUND 4/1
GODDAMIT
U long gray haired nose-pierced stocking clad hi-tek backpack goddess.
Me: sweaty black shirt glasses and
stealing glances. Stoner guy was
yelling about how stuffy it was. U
off at 45th and my heart dropped.
I’ll be back When: Wednesday,
April 1, 2015. Where: 72E
Roosevelt. You: Woman. Me:
Man. #921041
CAFE, NORTH BALLARD
Dawn. You were adorable at La
Spiga Saturday night, but it felt presumptuous asking for your number.
Perhaps you are reading this? When:
Sunday, April 12, 2015. Where:
La Spiga. You: Woman. Me:
Man. #921055
You: blond- ish, short- ish. No dog
this time... Me: usually in a hat.. I’m
sure we’ve chatted, but I’d like the
chance to make a proper introduction.
When: Sunday, March 29, 2015.
Where: standing in line at the
cafe. You: Woman. Me: Man.
#921040
GLANCE AT TACO DEL MAR?
JAMES LOOKING FOR ELLIE
Northgate TDM. Me: a black sweater,
grey dress, black leggings. White,
shortish, red hair. With my teen.
You: with your friend, seated by the
south door. Short dark hair. Wearing a
moss-green t-shirt, jeans. What shoes
were you wearing? When: Saturday,
April 11, 2015. Where:
Northgate Taco del Mar. You:
Man. Me: Woman. #921054
When: March 8 (Sun) @ SAAM &
then March 13 (Fri) @ SAM Remix
Me: James- bearded gallery-goer You:
Ellie(spelling?)- recent Seattleite from
Israel You don’t always meet someone
who seems like a good friend before
you meet them. When: Sunday,
March 8, 2015. Where: Seattle
Asian Art Museum then Spring
SAM Remix. You: Woman. Me:
Man. #921039
FOUND YOUR DREADLOCKS
“MAYBE HE’S YOUR WINGMAN”....
I found a pile of dreads onstage
at the Highline after the Bell Witch
show. I took them home, washed
them, and have started a hair doll. I
need to know whose head they came
from to complete the spell. When:
Friday, April 3, 2015. Where:
The Highline. You: Man. Me:
Woman. #921050
I see you on occasion at the dog
park I frequent, we chat a bit but
just socially gibberish not in any way
that feels like either of us wants to
get to know the other in any deeper
capacity. When: Monday, March
30, 2015. Where: West Seattle.
You: Transsexual (female to
male). Me: Man. #921038
BUS 49 PIKE & BOYLSTON
Me: green beanie, front seat. You:
brown hair, said I’m cute JUST TOO
quietly while exitting. Cursed my
reaction time+got off to jog back,
but you had vanished like the ghost
of a promise that my life could be
better. When: Sunday, March
29, 2015. Where: Bus 49 near
Broadway. You: Woman. Me:
Man. #921036
LINK FRIDAY NIGHT MARCH
27
YOU: Blonde hair (almost white). I
saw you sitting a few seats ahead of
me, and you had cute, pink toenails
in sandals. ME: Goatee, grey hoody.
I was bobbing my head, listening
to music, sitting in the very back.
When: Friday, March 27, 2015.
Where: LINK. You: Woman. Me:
Man. #921035
Seattle
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We were both working on that trip. I
complimented you on your ink. Fell in
love with your baldy appearance. It
has been almost a year now. I want
to be completely unprofessional with
you! When: Monday, September
1, 2014. Where: Flight. You:
Man. Me: Woman. #921034
HALES ALES BAR CONVERSATION
We talked about everything from relationships to our ancestry but never
got to exchange numbers since I had
to run and felt awkward asking you
in front of my friend. Did you confirm whether you are related to King
Magnus? When: Friday, March
27, 2015. Where: Hales Ales
Fremont. You: Man. Me: Woman.
#921033
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BESPECTACLED BIKE
MESSENGER BABE
Spotted you near downtown on Yesler.
Red bicycle. Delivering something. You
had glasses, dark hair, a neck tattoo,
and what looked like a robot tattoo on
your lower leg. ‘Just wanted to let you
know you looked really pretty. When:
Saturday, March 28, 2015.
Where: Downtown. You: Man.
Me: Woman. #921032
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DRIVING UP 1ST AVE SOUTH
You, good looking guy with dark hair
driving a black Nissan on 1st Ave S
Saturday morning at 10:45. I was the
brunette in the black Mercedes. Regret
not pulling over to chat! Hoping you
see this! When: Saturday, March
28, 2015. Where: 1st Ave South
near SafeCo Field. You: Man.
Me: Woman. #921031
Seattle 206-753-CHAT
(2428)
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contact info. I’d love to chat over coffee sometime. Get in touch? When:
Friday, March 27, 2015. Where:
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Me: Man. #921030
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60
May 6, 2015
THE STRANGER
2015
The Stranger and the Portland Mercury invite local filmmakers, porn stars, porn-star wannabes, hotties, kinksters,
regular folks, and all other creative types to make short porn
films - five minutes max - for HUMP! 2015. Films selected
for HUMP! 2015 will be screened over three weekends
in November at theaters in Seattle and Portland. HUMP!
2015 films can be hardcore, softcore, live action, animated,
kinky, vanilla, straight, gay, lez, bi, trans, gender-queer anything goes at HUMP! (Well, almost anything: No poop,
no animals, no minors.) Deadline for HUMP! submissions is
Wednesday, September 30th, 2015.
CALL FOR
!
S
N
O
I
S
S
I
M
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SU
HUMP! films are not released online or in any other
form. Filmmakers retain all rights, and HUMP! does not keep
any permanent copies. Our copies are destroyed onstage
in front of the audience at the last screening. Appearing in a
HUMP! film means being a porn star for a weekend - not the
rest of your life!
CASH PRIZES!
Photo of Barry by Kelly O.
Barry starred in the
“Best of Show” award-winning
HUMP! 2009 film,
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Watch these ads for more
lovely HUMP!-ers!
Three first place prizes and one grand prize are awarded at HUMP!
and decided by secret audience ballot. Films may qualify in more than
one category. This year’s categories and prize packages:
BEST HUMOR: $1000 First Prize, $250 First Runner-Up
BEST SEX: $1000 First Prize, $250 First Runner-Up
BEST KINK: $1000 First Prize, $250 First Runner-Up
BEST IN SHOW: $5000 Grand Prize
This year’s extra credit items: Mike Huckabee’s book
“God, Guns, Grits, and Gravy” and Hula Hoops!
ALL HUMP! 2015 SUBMISSIONS DUE NO LATER THAN WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 30.
For complete information about entering HUMP! - including all technical requirements, extra-credit items, and submission deadlines - go to humpseattle.com
THE STRANGER
May 6, 2015
61
SAVAGE LOVE
Teaching Moment
Last summer, I reconnected with a high-school
teacher I hadn’t seen for a year. We first met
when I was 15, and I had nothing but respect for
him and his intelligence. I also had a crush on
him for the next four years. Fastforward a year. He is sexting me
and sending dick pics and wants to
hook up. He has told me he loves me.
I feel violated and tricked, like he
was supposed to be someone I could
trust and he didn’t respect that. Now
I wonder how teachers really see
underage high-school girls. This
whole experience has made me
feel dirty. Moreover, he has never
respected that I have a boyfriend
and that I want nothing to do with
his advances. I met up with a former classmate,
and she told me that this teacher and another
teacher said similar things to her. Ew! Most former classmates of mine still believe him to be a
respectable man and a great teacher. But I know
him for what he really is, and when I think of it, I
get so angry. How do I move on from this?
Schooling Thankfully Over Permanently
I would never want to minimize the creepiness
factor of a former teacher sending you dick pics
and refusing to take “I want nothing to do with
your advances” for an answer. (And you didn’t
just say “I have a boyfriend” and hope that he
would hear “And I want nothing to do with your
advances,” right? Because if all you said was “I
have a boyfriend,” STOP, he may have heard, “I
would love to fuck you, but I have a boyfriend.”)
And I definitely believe high-school teachers—
all teachers who work with minors—should
refrain from fucking current students and sending dick pics to former students. One is statutory
rape and an abuse of power (fucking underage
students); the other is career suicide (hitting on
former students will get your ass fired eventually). As for the other issues you raise…
This guy was your teacher when you were
15… you had a crush on him for four years…
a crush he doubtless picked up on… and you
somehow reconnected with him after not seeing
him for a year… and one year after reconnecting, he’s still contacting you despite your
rejection of him.
If I’ve got the timeline right (math is still
hard!), STOP, you were 19 or 20 when you
reconnected with your former teacher and
you’re 20 or 21 now. Maybe even 22. That
means nothing happened—nothing appropriate
or inappropriate—until you were (1) no longer
his student and (2) legally an adult. Your former
teacher did nothing inappropriate when you
were his student (you surely would’ve included
that detail), and so far as you know, he’s never
behaved inappropriately toward a current student. Which means either your former teacher
has a solid age-range floor (he’s not attracted
to anyone under the age of 18) or he’s capable of
exercising self-control (not only can he refrain
from fucking girls under the age of 18 who he
happens to find attractive, but he can conduct
himself in such a way that those girls have no
idea he finds them attractive).
Your former classmate’s story complicates
the picture—and yucks the picture—but she
was a former student and an adult when these
teachers said “similar things” to her, right?
That’s still creepy, of course, it’s still not okay,
and it’s still potential career suicide for both
these idiots. But it’s not technically illegal. If
you honestly believe that either or both of these
idiots are behaving inappropriately toward
their current students, STOP, you should
approach the administration at your old high
school with your concerns. Doing so will result
in the end of their careers as educators—but if
these guys are trying to fuck their current students and/or grooming their current students
for fucking a year or two after they graduate,
then both should get the fuck out of teaching.
As for feeling dirty, STOP, I don’t understand
where that’s coming from. You didn’t do anything
BY DAN SAVAGE
dirty. The realization that this teacher might
have had a crush on you back when you had one
on him—and he might not have had a crush on
you then—shouldn’t hurl you into some sort of
existential crisis. If knowing that a
teacher might have found you sexually attractive back when you were
a junior in high school leaves you
feeling violated, tricked, and angry,
STOP, if that realization has you convinced that all teachers are secret
perverts, then you seem to be operating under a faulty set of assumptions
about what teachers are. They’re not
robots, they’re not eunuchs, they’re
not humanoids from a parallel uniJOE NEWTON
verse where life isn’t occasionally
complicated by an unwanted sexual attraction.
Teachers are human beings, and like all other
human beings*, they sometimes experience sexual attraction, including sexual attraction of the
unwelcome and/or inappropriate variety. What
they choose to do about it—suppress it, act on
it—determines whether they’re respectable men
and women and (possibly) great teachers or total
creeps and/or sex offenders.
This does not, of course, excuse what your
former teacher is doing to you now. He’s sexually harassing you. Tell him to stop and threaten
to take it up with the school board if he doesn’t.
How do you move on? You do what I do on Twitter: Block and forget the asshole—BAFTA.
Male here, 21 years old. I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a year and a half.
We have somewhat kink-themed sex, though
nothing too intense. My girlfriend is very submissive, and I’m more on the submissive side
myself, so we have done only light bondage and
light flogging. Recently, my girlfriend and I
had a fight, and while things were still kind of
heated, she suggested I “punish” her by spanking her, which I did, and we wound up having
a much better, calmer conversation after the
spanking. The next day, she proposed that
this be something we do more often. I am not
certain about all the dynamics at play here. Is
this a healthy approach to resolving conflict?
We already do a bit of kink, and there would
be two consenting partners. But at the same
time, I don’t want to be an abusive boyfriend or
something. It seemed to help us resolve the conflict—but if we do it more, I’m not sure it would
play out as well. It happened only that one time,
so I haven’t moved forward on it. I’m uncertain
whether it would be good for our relationship.
Keeping It Newly Kinky
Research conducted at Tilburg University in
the Netherlands found that kinky people—
people who engaged in consensual submission,
bondage, and pain play—scored better on most
measures of psychological health than nonkinky people. So enjoying a spanking, asking
for one, giving one on request, etc., isn’t evidence that there’s something wrong with you
or your relationship. As for whether it’s a good
idea to spank your girlfriend in the heat of an
argument, well, that depends on two things:
whether she wants to be spanked at those times
(gotta keep it consensual) and whether the
spanking—for you—represents an extension
of the argument or a suspension of the argument. If you’re setting aside the argument to
enjoy a spanking—maybe a little conflict gets
her blood pumping and turns her on—and then
picking it up later, after you’ve both enjoyed a
spanking, then I don’t see the harm.
* Except for asexual humans, of course. Except
for them. n
On the Lovecast, science PROVES that liberals are happier than conservatives:
savagelovecast.com.
[email protected]
@fakedansavage on Twitter
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63
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CBD EFFECT: CONNECTING PATIENTS, PROVIDERS, AND CANNABIS HEALTHCARE
FREE WILL
ASTROLOGY
BY ROB BREZSNY
For the Week of May 6
ARIES (March 21–April 19): Benedictine
monks observe the Latin motto laborare
est orare. The 19th-century abbot Maurus
Wolter interpreted these words to mean
“work is worship” or “work is prayer.”
He was trying to impress upon his fellow
monks that the work they did was not a
grudging distraction from their service to
God, but rather at the heart of their devotion. To do their tasks with love was a
way to express gratitude for having been
blessed with the gift of life. I propose
that you experiment with this approach
in the coming weeks, even if your version
is more secular. What would it be like to
feel contentment with and appreciation
for the duties you have been allotted?
TAURUS (April 20–May 20): Here’s one
of the best things you can do for your
mental and physical health: withdraw
your attention from the life that lies behind you and be excited about the life
that stretches ahead of you. Forget about
the past and get wildly inventive as you
imagine the interesting future you will
create for yourself. Forgive everyone who
has offended you and fantasize about the
fun adventures you’ll go on, the inspiring
plans you’ll carry out, and the invigorating
lessons you hope to learn.
GEMINI (May 21–June 20): In the children’s book The Little Engine That Could,
a little blue engine volunteers to pull a
long chain of train cars up a steep hill,
even though it’s not confident it has the
power to do so. As it strains to haul the
heavy weight, it recites a mantra to give
itself hope: “I think I can, I think I can, I
think I can.” The story ends happily. The
little blue engine reaches the top of the
hill with its many cars in tow and is able
to glide down the rest of the way. As you
deal with your own challenge, Gemini, I
recommend that you use an even more
forceful incantation. Chant this: “I know I
can, I know I can, I know I can.”
CANCER (June 21–July 22): Here’s a
confession: I have taken a vow to foster
beauty, truth, love, justice, equality, tolerance, creativity, playfulness, and hope.
To do this work is one of my life goals. I
approach it with the devotion of a monk
and the rigor of a warrior. Does that mean
I ignore difficulty and suffering and cruelty? Of course not. I’m trying to diminish
the power of those problems, so I sure as
hell better know a lot about them. On
the other hand, my main focus is on redemption and exaltation. I prefer not to
describe in detail the world’s poisons, but
rather to provide an antidote for them.
Even if you don’t normally share my approach, Cancerian, I invite you to try it
for the next two weeks. The astrological
time is right.
LEO (July 23–Aug 22): The hill where I
take my late-afternoon hikes is teeming
with the six-petaled purple wildflower
known as the elegant cluster-lily. Every
one of them—and there are hundreds—
lean hard in the direction of the sun in the
west. Should I deride them as conformists
that follow the law of the pack? Should
I ridicule them for their blind devotion?
Or should I more sensibly regard them
as having a healthy instinct to gravitate
toward the life-giving light? I’ll go with
the latter theory. In that spirit, Leo, I urge
you to ignore the opinions of others as
you turn strongly toward the sources that
provide you with essential nourishment.
VIRGO (Aug 23–Sept 22): Am I reading
the astrological omens correctly? I hope
so. From what I can tell, you have been
flying under the radar and over the
rainbow. You have been exploiting the
loopholes in the big bad system and enjoying some rather daring experiments
with liberation. At this point in the adventure, you may be worried that your
lucky streak can’t continue much longer.
I’m here to tell you that it can. It will. It
must. I predict that your detail-loving
intelligence will paradoxically guide you
to expand your possibilities even further.
LIBRA (Sept 23–Oct 22): According to
the three science-fiction films collectively
known as The Matrix, we humans suffer
from a fundamental delusion. What we
think is real life is actually a sophisticated
computer simulation. Intelligent machines
have created this dream world to keep us
in suspended animation while they harvest our energy to fuel their civilization.
Now as far as I can tell, this scenario isn’t
literally true. But it is an apt metaphor for
how many of us seem to be half-asleep or
under a spell, lost in our addiction to the
simulated world created by technology.
I bring this to your attention, Libra, because now is a favorable time to diminish
the hold that the metaphorical Matrix
has on you. What can you do to at least
partially escape your bondage? (Hint: A
little more contact with nature could do
the trick.)
SCORPIO (Oct 23–Nov 21): In the
coming weeks, you may be as alluring and
intriguing and tempting as you have been
in a long time. I suggest you capitalize on
this advantage. Proceed as if you do indeed have the power to attract more of
the emotional riches you desire. Assume
that you are primed to learn new secrets
about the arts of intimacy, and that these
secrets will make you even smarter and
more soulful than you already are. Cultivate your ability to be the kind of trusted
ally and imaginative lover who creates
successful relationships.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22–Dec 21): Physicist Frank Wilczek won a Nobel Prize for
his research into quarks, the tiny particles
that compose protons and neutrons. The
guy is breathtakingly smart. Here’s one
of his operating principles: “If you don’t
make mistakes, you’re not working on
hard enough problems. And that’s a big
mistake.” Let’s enshrine his advice as your
meditation, Sagittarius. I think you’re
strong enough and brave enough to
go hunting for some new super-rich dilemmas. Yes, they may lead you to commit
some boo-boos. But they will also stretch
your intelligence beyond its previous
limits, giving you a more vigorous understanding of the way the world works.
CAPRICORN (Dec 22–Jan 19): In 1934,
Capricorn baseball player Dizzy Dean was
named the most valuable player after
winning 30 games. It was a feat that no
National League pitcher has repeated ever
since. After Dean retired, he was inducted
into the Hall of Fame. Never shy about
acknowledging his own prowess, he declared: “If you can do it, it ain’t bragging.”
It is in this spirit that I invite you to freely
expound on your talents and accomplishments in the coming week. You won’t be
boasting. You will simply be providing information. And that will ultimately result
in you being offered an interesting new
opportunity or two.
AQUARIUS (Jan 20–Feb 18): There has
rarely been a better time than now to
refine the art of being your own mommy
or daddy. You’re finally ready to take
over from the parental voices in your
head and assume full responsibility for
raising yourself the rest of the way. What
do you want to be when you grow up?
You may feel a giddy sense of freedom as
it becomes clear that the only authority
who has the right to answer that question is you.
PISCES (Feb 19–March 20): The universe has always played tricks on you.
Some have been so perplexing that
you’ve barely understood the joke.
Others have been amusing but not particularly educational. Now I sense a new
trend in the works, however. I suspect
that the universe’s pranks are becoming
more comprehensible. They may have
already begun to contain hints of kindness. What’s the meaning of this lovely
turn of events? Maybe you have finally
discharged a very old karmic debt. It’s
also conceivable that your sense of humor
has matured so much that you’re able to
laugh at some of the crazier plot twists.
Here’s another possibility: You are cashing
in on the wisdom you were compelled to
develop over the years as you dealt with
the universe’s tricks.
Homework: No one can make you feel any
emotion unless you agree to feel it. You
are the sovereign of what happens inside
you. Explain why at freewillastrology.com.
64
May 6, 2015
THE STRANGER
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