WEEK SIX
THE KONG REPORT
featuring The Warren Commission
Bert’s Beatz:
Vol 1
All Day
Kanye West
dropped by Albert Patajo
To Pimp a Butterfly
Kendrick Lamar
Let it Happen
Tame Impala
Believe
Mumford and Sons
In The Heat of the
Moment
Noel Gallagher’s High
Flying Birds
The Yeezy-pocalypse starts now. First played at the BRIT Awards,
featuring a bewildered Taylor Swift going nuts, and literally a man
standing behind Kanye with a flamethrower, vibing him out. With a heavy
bass line and buzzing harmonies, this is aggressive as Kanye has ever
been. With an outro by Paul McCartney, Kanye is set to dominate your
study playlist if you’re looking to psych yourself up.
Not a song but I couldn’t review one song in this album, it wouldn’t do
it justice. If your only experience with Lamar was M.a.a.d city from the
Grammys, you’re in for a treat. Incorporating many influences such as
jazz, soul and funk, Lamar has taken a different direction to his music
than previous albums. A beautiful direction, however, listen to it early on
that Friday morning when you’re nursing your hangover.
“It sounds like Tame Impala but it also sounds like everybody else” –
some random YouTube comment. And I agree. Psychedelic dance rock
(is that even a genre?) is hitting its stride and more bands are jumping in
for the ride. The song feels incomplete, lacking both a proper drum beat
and lead guitar. But if you’re looking for Coachella in your room, here’s
your song. Oh. Did I mention its 8 minutes long?
Initial thoughts: Did someone finally break their mandolins? At last, a
Mumford & Sons songs that doesn’t involve the generic strumming until
their wrist fell off, and the words ‘heart’, ‘hand’ and ‘love’. It’s a catchy
pop song, the electronic elements fit in nicely with the lyrics, and it seems
perfect for that afternoon bike ride after class. “I don’t even know if I
believe” if this sets them apart from other pop/rock/indie/folk/generic
music band playing on the radio however.
It’s been 5 years since Noel left Oasis but he’s still churning out some
great hits. In an age of electronic music dominating the airwaves, its good
to get back to basics and listen to some rock. The combination of the
simple guitar rift and the backing vocals make it a very fun listen. If you’re
looking for something to jam along to, here’s your song.
“A boring article”
written by Jasmine Jury
Parking at ANU is a political hot potato – there is never enough of it,
the fines are high, and I’m just waiting for the day a parking warden
raises a formal objection with the University about students posting
their picture on ANU StalkerSpace.
Fenner is the only Hall which has free parking, and keeping parking
free for residents has to be renegotiated every year. There is usually a
presumption that parking is going to be charged for, and it is up to us to
convince them otherwise.
Last year the Parking Office assumed responsibility for paying for
maintenance of the carpark (before that, we were paying), which makes
it a little harder to argue for free parking but it did also mean we didn’t
have to put $20K in the 2015 budget to fix up all the faded signage.
To strengthen the case for free parking, we have been facilitating the
sale of permits to some of the people who work next door, with the
money going to the Parking Office. At least this way, the carpark is
generating some revenue for the Parking Office to cover maintenance
costs. So all those office workers parking in North Tower during the
day are paying for the privilege of doing so.
Parking fines are issued by the Parking Office, we don’t get any money
from them and we can’t do anything about them. If you do get a ticket
and want to appeal it, you will need to talk to the Parking Office.
The Front Office can issue guest permits, so if you have someone
visiting with a car, make sure you get a guest permit for them. The
Parking Wardens only come around during standard business hours, so
you don’t need to get a guest permit at weekends or in the evenings.
FIRST YEARS!
MEET PEOPLE.
DO THINGS.
LEARN STUFF.
IN JAPAN.
Japan – a country of mixed up verbs. You can taste the scenery and paint
the words, and looking at the food is almost as good as eating it.
Think this may be for you? First years, ANU is offering travel grants for
a one-month exchange program to Waseda University during the winter
break. NO Japanese language skill is necessary as all courses are taught
in English.
It is the perfect opportunity to feel the buzz of Tokyo; cram with the
peak-hour crowd, go on 5am trips to the convenience store, try every
type of food at the largest summer festival in the country – but most of
all, gain an insight to a different university culture and meet not only
Japanese people but fellow exchange students as well.
Reckon you just got used to life at Fenner? Think again. Applications
close 27 March BUT you only have to write 200 words. Check the
College of the Asia-Pacific website for “Summer in Tokyo” details; hit me
up for some excited gesticulating.
written by Ee-Faye Chong
the kong report
brought to you by Richard Kong at the Elemental Cafe
I was reaching a crisis a few weeks ago when I suddenly realised that I’d
exhausted most of the cafés along Lonsdale Street to review and that
Canberra simply wasn’t keeping up with my appetite for good food and
coffee. Luckily though, it looks like it’s still well on-track with opening new
establishments every couple of weeks with the recent opening of Elemental
Café in the Ori Building, next to Moxom and Whitney.
Elemental Café markets itself as a paleo café. For those of us who
aren’t keeping up to date with the latest dieting trends, the paleo movement
started somewhere in the murky 2000s as the “Caveman Diet” with numerous
pictures of people eating raw steaks, fresh greens and other things that one
might imagine a caveman would eat. Thankfully this café is not serving up
large chunks of meat, rather sticking to a no dairy, minimal processing maxim.
Despite this, their adherence to the paleo side of things seems to
have made them resort to a few key ingredients to make their food as
appetising as possible. Between bacon and the abundance of syrups and jam
to make their food as appetizing as possible, the health aspect of their menu
is put into question. Unfortunately this produces a somewhat confused range
of food with an inherent tension between the paleo diet and making their
conception of good café food. This isn’t to say it can’t be done, it’s done
superbly well at the Local Press Café in Kingston, but it does mean that
certain meals are off the table.
I had the breakfast quesadilla here and while it had all the ingredients
to make an amazing meal, it fell short to the range of “above average” to
“pretty good”. While the filling was a harissa marinated chicken with quite a
bit of kick to it, the shell was an unfortunate green-ish pancake which tasted
more like a crepe than a tortilla. Though, because of the lack of cheese, it
certainly does miss the price point a little which is a little unfortunate.
Some familiar faces from the people at Autolyse are here behind the
counter, most notably the barista and cashier. This is reflected in the polish of
their setup between the five grand coffee grinder, sterling silver machine and
a well equipped open kitchen. The coffee beans are sourced from Canberra’s
own Red Brick Espresso, a fairly well established coffee house. The crockery is
also of note, with their retro coffee mugs in a classic orange and blue colour
scheme as well as large earthenware plates which are a delight to eat off.
As I sit in this place writing this report, “Red Red Wine” plays over
the speakers in a non-intrusive matter while there’s a soft background of
eating, cooking and chatter. Despite not getting a huge amount of sunlight,
at least in the morning, they certainly do make the space work for them. A
significant amount of wood detailing, along with a subtle mural of what I can
only assume are a set of wood-inspired faces adorn the feature wall give the
place a very earthly feel. Combined with the free Wi-Fi makes it an excellent
study space to whittle away your time on readings.
Elemental Café is definitely a new character addition to the Braddon
café scene. While all of its parts are excellent, it appears it still needs a little
time for it to come together as a fantastic whole. This would mean
reconciling their menu with their ethos and committing to either a
wholefoods menu with an emphasis on health or abandoning their paleo
branding and putting cheese on my quesadilla (far from likely). Regardless,
you can find places with far worse coffee and food to go to spend your time.
Election Statistics (2014-2015) by Antony Green Jasmine Jury
SOFTBALL
written by Sean Ding
Two weeks into the term and five dismal trainings have passed. Hoping
for a 5:30 start and a decent attendance (more than 5 people), we wait
in the south corridor. By 5:45, four people including myself are ready to
go. I suggest we move training to the courtyard, all the while thinking
it unlikely that Fenner would even field a team, let alone be a serious
contender.
Two weeks later and day two of the softball tournament is upon us. At 11
am, Fenner will face a full strength Griffin team. Their state level pitcher
paces the sideline, aggressively pounding her mitt with a ball. Griffin
warms up with the confidence of a team that has been predicted to come
first. The pitches rocket toward a Griffin catcher, who matches the speed
of the ball and receives them effortlessly. Fenner is understandably
nervous.
Three innings later Fenner walks away victorious 16 runs to 15.
The remarkable progress of Fenner’s softball team did not come easily.
At a rate of three trainings a week for almost two hours a time, the first
year players struggled with fundamentals. However, under the patient
tutelage of coaches Lucie Niederer and Abbey Patterson, and help from
veterans Kate Guido and Vivian Wei, the team underwent a drastic
transformation. Kate Munro took her pitching abilities to new heights,
claiming an impressive number of strikes throughout the tournament.
Caity Price dominated the shortstop role, cutting short many home run
attempts with impressive catches. Issy Chan, who despite her small
stature, made a more than intimidating catcher, casually freezing
batsmen to their bases, while Sophie Li and Catherine Nguyen flourished
to become great all-rounders of the tournament. Meanwhile old guard
Kate Barker, Meg Davis, Sarah Hockey and Katrina Rivera continued to
remain an important influence on the team, each leading the team one
home run after another.
Thank you to the girls who stayed and helped revive a struggling team,
and thank you to the first years brave enough to give softball a shot. You
went from literally nothing to beating the best team in the competition, a
feat possible only through sheer determination and hard work.
Also, thank you to all the girls (Vicky Xia, Teya Duncan, Julia Brieger,
Page Webber, Ruby Smyth, Amy Jones, Ihona Walker, Islay Andrew,
Tasmeen Khtr) who came to trainings but weren’t available for the tournament. The success of the softball team is yours as much as it is theirs,
and we hope you can join us again next year!
famous dead people mixer
Thursday 19th of March was the Famous Dead People Inter-college Mixer Night
for Ursula, B&G, Unilodge and Fenner at B&G’s events hall. After a week of
somewhat hassling posts on the Fenner Hall page, the FRC successfully
garnered the full might of Fenner’s personalities to dominate attendance at our
full quota of 125 of 350 residents despite a hefty trek onto Daley Road. Only
B&G rivalled our numbers at around 100 and only because the event was held
on their home ground. By these staggering statistics, Fenner had
unquestionably already won on participation if not by our captivating line-up of
well-dressed celebrities.
The night was young at 7:30pm when social reps Sam Phillis and Ben McColl
prepared to lead the first walking group to B&G, dressed respectively as ‘freshknife-wound-through-the-chest’ dead Julius Caesar and ‘dazed and confused
90’s’ Ben McColl. These attractive characters drew in a crowd of exquisitely
dressed Fennerites who followed them 2 miles to B&G. I myself sported a
hyperbolic Steve Irwin outfit with a modern Australian mullet and his classic khaki
shirt and shorts while Helena turned up as a convincing yet charming Cleopatra.
Other memorable costumes from our 7:45 walking group included a
devilishly handsome James Dean with Asiatic flair portrayed by Bolwen Fu, a
young Joseph Stalin by Zen Zeps and an elegant Audrey Hepburn trio of Angela
Chen, Sophie Li, and Steph Lentern.
While it would’ve been great to see more ‘mixing’ between the colleges, I feel as
though we had undeniably done Fenner proud. The night provided foresight for
future collaborations and further intercollegiality. It was definitely a success for
the collective residential committees of the four halls in attendance. Fenner and
its Daley Road counterparts should expect more mixer nights to come.
recounted by Michael Ma
Burgmann vs. Fenner
the tale regaled by Tristan Goh
Fenner got through to the quarter-finals of Interhall debating last Saturday
and we found ourselves up against Burgmann. In the face of deciding between
a Pyne-inspired deregulation of non-vocational (read: Arts) degrees, restricting
Woroni’s ability to publish insulting material and one on selecting ANUSA
General Reps by lottery; we somehow ended up speaking on the last topic.
For those who don’t know, ANUSA is the mystical entity which provides
sausage sizzles, a handful of other events and “advocacy”. If you thought that
description was vague and uncertain, imagine how the uninitiated are to
understand what a “general representative” is.
Prep time was filled with an endless stream of “so do gen reps do x?”,
culminating in “so do gen reps get a vote?”: at which point it became clear
how much we were relying on Richard Kong’s brief flirtation with running for
election last year to bring any facts to the debate – maybe we should have
chatted more with Fenner’s Tilly and Helena about what ANUSA actually gets
them to do as gen reps.
But then again, debates aren’t really based on facts, and at the end of 30
minutes prep time we were called to speak on a motion that is a copy of the
“fill the senate with citizens selected by lottery” debate with a body even less
understood than that weird place where Jacqui Lambie says outrageous things
and with much lower stakes.
My personal favourite part of the night (outside of the Banta Brigade: Dylan &
Sean’s enthusiasm) was when after 3 speakers worth of referring to how one
of their speakers was randomly asked to fill a ballot at the last minute, I turn
to Richard and ask: “did he even get elected?” Turns out he hadn’t and let me
assure you it is one of life’s greatest joys to trash talk a Burgmannite in front
of a sea of Burgmann cultists.
Now the fun part will begin: interhall Semi and Quarter finals have some of the
craziest motions possible, so do turn up on Monday 23rd to see us debate
against Johns and if we get through to the grand finals on Wednesday 25th.
Last year’s final was the amazing “This house regrets sexual desire” – a topic
so amazingly good, I spent a year haranguing anyone I could about how there
is no case against. This year has been promised to be just as crazy, so if not
to support Fennah, go to watch teams forced to defend insane hypothetical
worlds.