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- Did God create
superconductivity?
- Possibly not, because
instead of creating Earth he
would still play with magnet
levitating above
superconductor.
Little book of
SUPERCONDUCTIVITY JOKES
by
Pavlo Mikheenko
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Superconductivity was asked
if she is of classical or
quantum nature. She
replied:
- I am really not sure, but
there are many Plank
Constants in my Birth
Certificate.
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What are four basic
properties of
superconductivity?
- Zero resistance, ideal
diamagnetism, quantization
of flux and inability to fully
understand it.
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- What is common between
superconductivity and
magnetism?
- Is any difference between
superconductivity and
magnetism?
- They both fooled physicists
for a very long time.
- Not really, but
superconductivity prefer a
cooler climate.
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- Does superconductivity
belong to Chemistry or
Physics?
- It belongs to Hell: so many
chemists and physicists
twisted their brains trying to
understand it.
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- What is the main
contradiction in
superconductivity?
- It is between ideal
conductivity, ideal
diamagnetism and non-ideal
world she lives in.
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Two superconducting
magnets are talking in the
hospital. One is saying:
High Temperature
Superconductivity is talking
to Low Temperature
Superconductivity:
- You are the lucky guy: you
were damaged by eminent
Professors on Large Hadron
Collider, but I was destroyed
by a student who came first
time in the laboratory.
- You are lucky being
explained, but I hate
theorists. They are inventing
so weird mechanisms for me.
I really have nightmares in
the night.
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- How to attract public
attention to
superconductivity?
- Say that Prince Harry has
been seen naked
accompanied by
Superconductivity
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- Is quantization of flux in
superconductors God’s or
Devil’s invention?
- Surely Devil’s. Now
students must scratch their
heads trying to figure out
why it happens.
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Superconductivity and Room
Temperature are coming to
the bar. Bartender looks at
them and says:
- Is it kind of joke?
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If Party for Protection of
Superconductivity will get
power in next election, it will
forbid rising temperature in
rooms above 4.2 K.
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- Was discovery of
superconductivity in 1911
accidental?
- No, actually superconductivity planned to
appear much earlier, but was
long thinking to whom to
reveal her: humans or ants.
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Superconductivity can be
destroyed by high
temperature, high magnetic
field, high current and a
theorist passing sufficiently
close to the laboratory.
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A superconductor girl is
asking mother.
– Mum, can I have a date
with a magnet?
- Sure, but stay cold and
keep him at a distance.
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A superconductor is drinking
in the bar and thinking:
- One more hot drink and I
may exceed critical
temperature.
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Theory of superconductivity
is known as BCS theory.
What BCS stand for?
- Be Careful Student.
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Why electrons are united to
Cooper Pairs?
- What else you will do if you
are dropped into liquid
nitrogen?
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Aliens stopped for a short
time on Earth, looked around
and concluded:
- Useless planet: too hot to
use superconductivity and all
hydrogen is contaminated
with oxygen.
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Little girl asks:
-Mummy, what is the
Superconductivity? And why
when daddy stays long in the
laboratory he says: she was
so resistive today!
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- Why housewives cannot
get Nobel Prize in
Superconductivity?
-They don’t understand why
so much fuss about
something that cannot be
used as dishwashing liquid.
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Dying superconductor is
lying on the bed and
thinking:
- This time it is serious, it
seems it is Second Critical
Field.
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Who is Semiconductor?
- He is older brother of
Superconductivity - less
successful in school but
more successful in business.
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What superconductor eats
on breakfast?
Nothing special, liquid
hydrogen with crumbles of
solid air.
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Father Magnet is looking at
his
new
born
child
Superconductivity
and
saying:
- She is not my daughter.
His wife replies:
-She is, she was simply born
on a very cold day.
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Doctor is coming from the
birth room and saying to
Father Magnet:
- Nothing reassuring, Sir.
Superconductivity
again,
this
time
Room
Temperature
Superconductivity.
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A superconductor walks
into the Jobcentre and says:
- I want a job.
The lady behind the desk
replies:
- I am very sorry, Sir. The
Liquid Hydrogen Economy
is not yet on. Please come
in 20-30 years.