WEEKLY CHECKMARK “Dear Teachers, What you do for a living matters. Every Day. Thank you!” M Ferguson Education Week Awards 2015 April 27, 27, 2015 Volume 30 Congratulations to the following Halifax NSTU Members and thank you for your contribution to public education in our Board! Danielle McNeil-Hessian, HRSB Staff Brian DeMone, Sackville Heights Junior High Gilles Boudreau, Brookhouse Elementary Laura Kennedy, Sir Charles Tupper Elementary (Also pictured is our Superintendent, Elwin LeRoux) SACKVILLE HEIGHTS JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL In this issue Upcoming Events 2 Pension Symposium 3 Respect: 3 Steps for Dealing with Helicopter Parents 4 Calendar: Events & Deadlines 6 Student Bursary Application 7 FALCONS 1 . HALIFAX COUNTY Most Active Local in NS! Pre-Council Meeting April 30, 2015 For delegates & alternates to Annual Council Dr Tom Parker Building Musquodoboit Family of Schools Outreach Social Friday May 1, 2015 Curly’s Portable 3:00 – 6:00 pm Substitute Teacher Session Tuesday May 5, 2015 4:30 pm Dr Tom Parker Building Register w [email protected] Teacher Placement Process Annual Council May 8 – 10, 2015 For delegates & alternates World Trade & Convention Ctr Pre-Retirement Session Thursday May 14, 2015 4:30 pm Dr Tom Parker Building Register w [email protected] Contracts / Job Fair Session Wednesday May 27, 2015 4:30 pm Dr Tom Parker Building Register w [email protected] Retirement Dinner Deadline for Tickets Wed May 27, 2015 [email protected] Retirement Dinner Friday June 5, 2015 Delta Halifax Tickets on sale now – to be ordered before May 27 Big Fish booked to play again! 2 PENSION SYMPOSIUM 2015 Friday April 17 – Saturday April 18, 2015 Topics: NSTU Pension Plan – Changes, Structure, Valuation with Allan MacLean, NSTU Assistant Executive Director Public Sector Plans in Atlantic Canada with Joan Ling, NSTU Executive Director Information on the Nova Scotia Pension Corporation and Actuary Assumptions with Steven Wolff, NS Pension Corporation The Emotional Effects of Retirement, Resilience In attendance from Halifax County (pictured below, left to right): Jodie MacIlreith, Pension Committee; Meg Ferguson, Local President; Tim MacLeod, Provincial Executive; Jim King, Local Executive; Paul Boudreau, Provincial Executive; (Photobomb: Rollie Hannem, Yarmouth Local President;) Peggy Ludlow, Halifax County Retired Teachers Organization. NORDIC POLE WALKING SESSION Nordic Pole Walking increases muscle use by 40 % and burns up to 67% more calories – sounds win-win! Social & Wellness Committee Chair Jim King, a certified instructor, took us through the basics at our local office on Saturday April 25, then we walked for about 45 minutes in Burnside to Dartmouth Crossing and return. It was a lovely day and a good time was had by all! 3 RESPECT: 3 STEPS FOR DEALING EALING WITH HELICOPTER PARENTS This article is cut down for length – there is more information at: https://www.schoolcounselor.org/magazine/blogs/january-february-2011/three-steps-for-dealing-with-helicopter-parents The over-protective parent. The helicopter parent. The pushy parent. These parents hover over their children, watching their every move, preventing and solving their children’s problems. These parents may insist the kindergarten class replace recess for an extra math lesson, make excuses for their children not completing homework assignments, request their children move to another class to be with their friends, give teachers pointers on their te aching, expect school staff to respond to e-mails within the hour, etc We can become burned out trying to accommodate these parents or resentful of their constant requests. Step 1. Decrease Parental Anxiety The first step is to decrease anxiety. Parents want their children to be safe and successful, which are healthy aspirations. These parents act out of their anxiety, fear and guilt, which can create stifled and dependent children. Listen and validate: When people feel anxious, the rational part of their brain shuts off. Listen to the parent, and let her/him vent. Validate feelings, normalize those feelings, and let them know you are on their side, not fighting against them. Once stress level decreases, they will be better able to engage in a rational, problem-solving discussion. Focus on parental strengths: Overly involved parents often are insecure. Many times these parents aim to be the Super Parent and do it all. Invite involvement: Overly involved parents typically want to be active in their child’s school community. Take advantage of this, and put their energy to good use. Ask them to help you with an upcoming program or to sit on your advisory council. You are creating an ally and making them feel welcome. Initiate positive communication. These type of parents like to be kept in the loop. Instead of only when there is a concern, proactively communicate with when the student does well or when volunteering efforts are successful. Step 2. Communicate to Empower Students Language is powerful. It is crucial to communicate in a way that places responsibility on the student, not the parent. Communicate parents’ responsibilities: Empowering language sets the expectation that students are responsible for their own actions; parents should not be blamed or held responsible for their child’s schoolwork. Remind Carson’s mom of her responsibility in the homework process: provide the supplies, space and time needed; to offer support without taking over; and to allow natural consequences to occur. For example, if Carson leaves his textbook at school, he will not have access to his textbook that night. Communicate student’s responsibilities: Next time you are in a parent-teacher conference, model the following messages to parents: Avoid: “Have you been checking Carson’s grades via his class Web site?” Do say: “We have found it is beneficial for students to show parents their grades online at least once a week. Is this something you could do with your child?” Students should be active participants in writing down their assignments and checking their class Web sites. When parents do it for them, students tend to get complacent about doing it themselves. It is appropriate for students to check nightly homework assignments online/in agenda, while parent/guardian supervises. It is not appropriate for parents to check the Web site on their own and to remind the student of their assignments. Students often rely on their memory, and as a result, they may not write down assignments in their agenda. Parents/guardians can help students form good organizational habits while still giving them responsibility. 4 Avoid: “By working together, I’m confident we will be able to bring the student’s grades up by the end of the marking period.” Do say: “By supporting the student in the ways discussed, I’m confident he will be able to bring his grades up by the end of the marking period.” Encourage parents and teachers to avoid using words like “we” or “our” when talking about a child’s schoolwork. Gently remind the parent / guardian that their child is in school, not them. Step 3. Reinforce Healthy Parent Boundaries We recently asked a group of Grade 7 students what they would like their parents to do differently. Typical responses included, “Don’t remind me every five minutes about my homework.” “Let me take care of my own schedule.” “Help me only when I ask for it.” Students want to be successful on their own; they want firmer boundaries between themselves and their parents. On the other hand, overly involved parents may think just the opposite: “Kids these days need more boundaries.” As a school counselor, you can help parents think about boundaries in a new light. Here is the idea to communicate to Carson’s Mom: “You can only put boundaries around one person. You.” Choices and consequences: When we try to put boundaries around others, we often fail, especially with students who don’t like to be controlled. So where does that leave us? It leaves us with a simple process. If you have ever taken computer programming classes, you might remember the if-then concept. This concept states that if one thing happens, then something else will happen. For every action, there is specific consequence. Consider a parent/guardian saying these statements: If you do your homework, then you can use your cell phone. If you show me your completed assignment, then you can watch TV. In these examples, the parent is putting a boundary around their own actions not the child’s. They are saying, “If you do ___, then I will do ___.” Every time. No exceptions. No ifs, ands, or buts. No badgering or reminding. The student is given a choice and also communicating the consequences of his actions. The student then has the opportunity to make successful and independent choices. Patience and Acceptance: As with all school counseling interventions, it will take time, patience, heart and acceptance to collaborate with the overly involved parent. To effectively collaborate with overly involved parents, we need to accept that we can’t control their parenting choices. What we can do is model positive and healthy behaviors and gently encourage them to do the same. Neil McNerney, LPC, is a former school counselor in Fairfax County, Va. He is presently a counselor in private practice and teaches on the faculty of Virginia Tech’s Graduate School of Marriage and Family Therapy. He can be reached at [email protected]. Emily Goodman Scott, NCC, is an elementary school counselor in Loudoun County, Va., and a doctoral student at Virginia Tech. She can be reached at [email protected]. Jennifer L. Scott,, NCC, is a middle school counselor in Prince William County, Va. She can be reached at [email protected]. 5 Monday Tuesday Wednesday 1 Thursday 2 Friday 3 Saturday 4 Sunday 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 Wellness Committee Meeting 30 Pre-Council Meeting for Delegates & Alternates Yoga class Deadline Deferred Salary Leave Deadline Art 60 Conf Grants In-Service Prom Grant Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday 1 Outreach Social at Curly’s Portable Saturday 2 Sunday 3 4 5 PD Comm Meeting 6 7 8 9 10 HRRC Meeing Communications Com Equity & Reps Com Meetings 11 Exec Meeting Substitute Teacher Workshop 12 18 No School Vicotoria Day 19 25 Deadline Art 60 Conf Grants In-Service Prom Grant 26 A n n u a l 13 c o u n c I l 14 Pre-Retirement Session 15 School-based Inservice 16 17 Local Council Meeting 20 21 22 23 24 28 29 30 31 John Huntley Interns at NSTU John Huntley Interns at NSTU Deadline Student Bursary Application 27 Wellness Com Meeting Teacher Placement Process & Contract Info Session Deadline Local Conference Appl Deadline Retirement Dinner Ticket Orders is on its way! 6 Criteria: Halifax County Local has bursaries available to the children of currently employed (term, probationary or permanent) Halifax County Local teachers. These bursaries are only available to students who will graduate from high school in 2015. Halifax County Local NSTU Bursary Application Form 2015 Student Name: High School: __________________________ Student’s Phone Number: ________ Student’s SIN: _____ __ Student’s Email Address: ______________________________________________________________________ Student’s Complete Mailing Address: Relationship to Halifax County Teacher: _______________ __ Teacher’s name: ________________________ Teacher’s prof number: __________________ Teacher’s current Halifax County Local (home) school: _________________________________________ Teacher’s non-employee email:___________________________________________________________ Teacher’s cell phone/contact phone:___________________________ Reason for Bursary: Please attach maximum 400 word essay explaining: 1) Why you would be an outstanding candidate for the Halifax County bursary? 2) How will the bursary enhance your post-secondary learning experience? Post Secondary School You Plan to Attend: _______________ ___ *Note: Please complete and send this above application and essay by Wednesday, May 20, 2015 to 1. Canada Post (postmarked by May 20, 2015) to: Finance Committee Halifax County Local NSTU, A200-202 Brownlow Avenue, Dartmouth, NS B3B 1T5. Or 2. Email application and essay to [email protected] by May 20, 2015 The successful candidates will be contacted on or before June 15, 2015. Any questions can be addressed to our treasurer, Turk MacDonald, at [email protected] 7
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