English 1302 - Writing and Revising Thesis Statements
Source: Adapted from materials at the Center for Writing Studies, College of Liberal Arts & Sciences,
University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign: h ttp :/ / w w w. c w s. ill in o is .e d u / wo rk sh o p / w rit e r s /t ip s/t he si s/
What is a thesis statement?
For major essay and research assignments with The Norton Reader, the thesis statement is the sentence
that identifies the author, work (in “quotation marks”), and how specific techniques (genres and/or
rhetorical strategies) reveal or express the author’s purpose or argument.
A thesis statement focuses the essay subject into one or sometimes two sentences. The thesis statement
should identify what the essay is about, guide your writing with reference to support examples and
analyses. and focus the discussion on the author and techniques rather than simply list or summarize the
author’s main points. Every sentence in an essay should directly or indirectly relate to the thesis
statement.
Four Questions to Ask When Formulating a Thesis: Placement, Focus, Commitment, Phrasing
1. Placement: Where is the thesis statement?
You should provide a thesis in the introductory paragraph of the essay in order to give the essay a sense
of direction. In order to write a successful thesis statement:
• Avoid burying a thesis statement in the middle of a paragraph or later body paragraphs in the essay.
The last sentence(s) in the first paragraph is an ideal place and point of reference.
• Indicate the point of the essay but avoid sentence structures like, “The point of my essay is…”
(avoid “I”, “you”, “we” as sentence subjects) or ”This essay will…”.
2. Focus: Is the thesis statement specific?
A thesis statement should be as clear and specific as possible. Normally you will continue to refine the
thesis as you revise discussion and support examples, so the thesis will evolve and gain definition as you
identify specific examples of the author’s argumentative techniques. Always review and revise the thesis
if you add or subtract such techniques in the body paragraphs of the essay. To check the thesis, ask the
following syntactical questions:
• Are there two large statements connected loosely by a coordinating conjunction (i.e. "and," "but,"
"or," "for," "nor," "so," "yet")?
• Would a subordinating conjunction help (i.e. "through," "although," "because," "since") to signal a
relationship between the two sentences? Or do the two statements imply a fuzzy unfocused thesis?
If so, settle on one single focus on the author’s specific argumentative technique or techniques and
then proceed with further development.
( OVER )
3. Commitment: Is the thesis statement too general?
A thesis should be limited to what can be accomplished in the specified word count (600 words
minimum). Shape the topic (author, techniques) so that you can get straight to the content. A specific
thesis will provide a productive foundation to the essay. Avoid writing about general ‘things’ that do not
say much about the author or his or her techniques. The opposite of a focused, narrow, crisp thesis is a
broad, sprawling, superficial thesis. Compare this original thesis (too general) with two possible revisions
(more focused, each presenting a different approach to the same idea):
Original (unrevised) thesis:
There are many examples of the genres of biographical narrative and visual analysis in Manguel’s
writing about libraries.
Revised theses (with a commitment to connect specific techniques to an author’s arguments):
[Genre: Biographical narrative]
Alberto Manguel’s “The Library as Survival” provides a variety of biographical narratives from the
Holocaust that connect the survival of Jewish books to the survival of the qualities that make
humanity fully ‘human.’
[Genre: Visual analysis]
At critical junctures In Alberto Manguel’s “The Library as Survival,” the photographs from German
archives add visual analyses that connect his argument to specific ideas and philosophies
concerning both the survival of books and humanity.
4. Phrasing: Is the thesis statement clear?
A thesis statement is no exception to the clarity and organization throughout the essay. Do not expect to
come up with a fully formulated thesis statement before you have finished writing the essay. The thesis
will inevitably change as you revise and develop ideas — and that is as it should be. As stated at the
beginning, every sentence in an essay should directly or indirectly relate to the thesis statement. As a
proofreading activity, pick random sentences throughout the essay and see if they relate directly or
indirectly to the thesis statement. Start with a tentative thesis and revise as the essay develops. In order
to be as clear as possible:
• Avoid vague words and phrases as “does a great job,” “grabs the reader’s attention.” If you include
such adjectives or adverbs as "interesting,” "negative," "exciting,” "unusual," and/or "difficult,"
qualify them as they relate to the thesis.
• Avoid abstract words such as "society," “values,” or “culture” without specific context and
clarification to the author’s definition of those words, for example with Manguel: “German society,”
or “National Socialist values” or “Jewish culture.” These nouns (without qualifying adjectives) add
no content an essay if you do not carefully explain or qualify what you mean by them. Never
assume that the meaning of a sentence is obvious. Check to see if you need to define specific terms,
and then decide on the most appropriate place to do so. Do not assume, for example, that a
common definition for “society” exists. To avoid misunderstandings, be as specific as possible.
• Avoid merely reporting an example without subsequent analysis. Always add some analysis that
connects that example to the thesis (author, technique) after you paraphrase and cite the support
example.