1
Page Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Jewish Family Congregation www.jewishfamilycongregation.org
April Shabbat and Holiday Services Schedule
First Shabbat of Passover
April 3 First Seder, No Services at JFC
April 4 Second Seder at Temple Shearith 6:00 pm All smiles in Ruth Ossher’s Religious School’s class.
Israel, Ridgefield, CT, RSVP Required
Second Shabbat of Passover
April 10
7:30 pm Erev Shabbat, 7th Day Pesach and Yizkor Services at Temple Shearith Israel, Ridgefield, CT
Shabbat Shemini, Leviticus 9:1 – 11:47
April 17
7:30 pm Shabbat Services with Yom HaShoah Observance
April 18
10:30 am Shabbat Services including Bat ECC enjoying Yoga Fridays.
Mitzvah of Karina Barth
Shabbat Tazria –Metzora, Leviticus 12:1 – 13:59
April 24
7:30 pm Shabbat Services with YomHaAtzma’ut Observance
April 25
10:30 am Shabbat Services, Temple Sherith Isreal Ridgefield, CT. No Shabbat Services at JFC
Emily Wein, Rabbi Burstein, Cantor Katchko- Gray and Dr.
Gray at our Pre-Pesach Wine Tasting.
2
Page Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
From the Rabbi’s Desk
Looking Past the Mud
Rabbi Lawrence Kushner wrote in The Book of
Miracles one of my favorite pieces focusing us on
prayer. Kushner based his story on a midrash in
Exodus 24:1, and I loved reading this prayer with
Cantor Kerry on Friday nights at JFC, especially
when a lot of children were present. Kushner
wrote:
When the people Israel crossed through the Red
Sea, they witnessed a great miracle. Some say it
was the greatest miracle that ever happened. On
that day they saw a sight more awesome than all
the visions of the prophets combined. The sea
split and the waters stood like great walls, while
Israel escaped to freedom on the distant shore.
Awesome. But not for everyone. Two people, Reuven and Shimon, hurried along among the crowd
crossing through the sea. They never once looked
up. They noticed only that the ground under their
feet was still a little muddy – like a beach at low
tide.
“Yucch!” said Reuven. “There’s mud all over this
place!”
“Blecch!” said Shimon. “I have muck all over my
feet.”
“This is terrible,” answered Reuven. “When we
were slaves in Egypt, we had to make bricks out of
mud, just like this.”
“Yeah,” said Shimon. “There’s no difference between being a slave in Egypt and being free here.”
And so it went, Reuven and Shimon whining and
complaining all the way to freedom. For them
there was no miracle. Only mud. Their eyes were
closed. They might as well have been asleep.
In many ways, our congregation feels right now
like we are walking through the Red Sea (or more
correctly, the Sea of Reeds). Although we are
still physically in our beautiful building on Smith
Ridge Road in South Salem, psychologically it
feels that we have already begun a long journey
to a new land, with the possibility of combining
our congregation with Temple Shearith Israel in
Ridgefield, CT. No decisions have been made
about our future, even as we figuratively travel
in emotional, psychological, and probably-soonphysical ways to a new place. We can focus on
the incredible amount of talent, devotion, energy,
and promise of a stronger, larger, and healthier
combined congregation -- or we can focus on the
mud.
In the days and weeks following Cantor Kerry
Ben-David’s death and funeral, I experienced
some of the best of our congregation. Countless
people called, emailed, or stopped by to give me
a hug or to check in to see how they could help
both the congregation and me. The love and support came from near and far, current and former
members, colleagues of Cantor Kerry’s and mine.
Singing the prayers during shiva at the BenDavid home with scores of people actually shook
the walls. I could not have been more proud of
our community in the love that people shared
as we supported each other, and I hope that we
will all feel that same love in the future. I could
have spent the last month wallowing in the mud;
rather, I was blessed to feel the miracles of our
community. Thank you.
I know that it is too easy to only look at the
mud. In the weeks and months ahead, we will
grapple with challenges that will test our spirits
and our determination. There will be no easy answers. Not seeing the “Promised Land” for some
time may make us feel like we want to turn back,
but we cannot. We will support each other until
we reach the new land, finding new meaning and
more. Along the way there will be both hurdles
Continued on page 9
Presidents’ Message--------------Page 3
Ask The Rabbi-------------------- Page 7
Religious School-------------------Page 4
Rabbi Burstein’s Eulogy for Cantor
Early Childhood Center-------- Page 5
Kerry Ben-David------------------Page 10
Ritual Committee---------------- Page 6
3
Page Jewish Family
Congregation
111 Smith Ridge Road
P.O.Box 249
South Salem, NY 10590
Phone: (914) 763-3028
Fax: (914) 763-3069
Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
From The Presidents
by Glenn Kurlander and Hal Wolkin
Co-Presidents’ Message
JFC’s exploration of the possibility of forming a union with Temple Shearith
Israel (TSI) continues to make progress, but of course this month it has been
email: [email protected]
website: www.jewishfamilycongregation.org conducted under the shadow of sadness cast by the death of our beloved
friend and Cantor, Kerry Ben David. We imagine that each of us who has been
----------------touched by Kerry’s warmth, his generosity of spirit and his shining optimism,
Rabbi
and who has reveled in the glory of his sonorous voice, feels both a deep
Marcus L. Burstein, D.Min.
sense of loss but, at the same time, sheer gratitude for having known and been
[email protected]
touched by this gentle spirit.
---------------Director of Education
Leslie Gottlieb
[email protected]
Administrator
Kathleen Sakowicz
[email protected]
Early Childhood
Center Director
Jane Weil Emmer
[email protected]
-------------------Glenn Kurlander Co-President
Hal Wolkin Co-President
[email protected]
Josh Blum, First Vice –President
Polly Schnell, Second Vice-President
Robyn Cohen, Treasurer
Suzanne Sunday, Secretary
[email protected]
Karen Conti, Trustee
Jon Glass, Trustee
Mindy Hoffman, Trustee
Robi Margolis, Trustee
Paul Storfer, Trustee
Bonnie Wattles, Trustee
Richard Mishkin, Ex Officio
[email protected]
Shofar Editor
Bryan Wolkin
Shofar Printer
Copy Stop
Royal Press
Kerry was not deeply involved in the exploration of a union with TSI, but he
very much wanted to be a part of it. We regret that, if we do come together to
build a new synagogue, the congregants of TSI will now be denied the opportunity to know Kerry as we have. As Cantor, Kerry was charged with the
preservation of all that is most important to us as a people. But not in a way
that simply reveres or mummifies the past. Instead, as he did so brilliantly, his
responsibility was continually to explore and interpret tradition, breathing
new life into it while distilling its continuing relevance, seeing it through a
prism that concentrated and intensified its light so that we would be continually surprised and delighted by that which could be new in something so old.
As we reflect on all that is ephemeral and transitory in this world—which is
to say everything—and what Kerry means to us, we realize that in a sense the
motivation behind a union with TSI exemplifies all that Kerry stood for. At
its heart the union is about preserving all that is most important to us as a
community, but not in a way that simply entombs the past. It is about shaping
what we and TSI have into something new; something we inspire (in the sense
of the original meaning of that word—to infuse with life by breathing) and that
inspires us; about achieving continuity, but in a way that creates something
stronger, more vibrant and more sustainable; about drawing from the past,
but reshaping it into something that provides for a richer and more meaningful future. If we all are successful in this enterprise, we can’t think of a more
beautiful and lasting monument to Kerry’s memory. Zichrono liv’racha; may
his memory be for a blessing.
Those of us who are working on the exploration of a union, and the work that
must be done to bring us together if that is the path congregants choose,
continue to make progress. Here are some of the more important steps we’ve
taken since we last wrote, and those we expect to take in the next month or so:
-The joint teams we and TSI have created for the purpose of the
exploration of a union continue to meet and accomplish significant
results.
Continued on page 8
4
Page Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
From the Religious School
By Leslie Gottlieb
Plug into… Your Life!
By Leslie Gottlieb
What does it mean to be present? My husband and I
have been talking a lot about this lately because we
both feel that despite the blessings of living in a digital
age—our smartphones, iPads and laptops have made us
completely distracted. When it comes to relationships
between children and parents, being connected to the
world at all times may be making us less connected to
the people we live with at home. We are rarely alone
with ourselves anymore let alone other; we are rarely
present in the moment anymore. An interruption
is always a possibility these days—even in the classroom—although at Religious School we do not seem to
have this issue.
In the article, The Sacred Act of Unplugging: For Our
Kids, For Ourselves, writer Tanya Schevitz discusses
the parenting piece in the context of the National Day
of Unplugging. She writes…
she’s on her phone and she doesn’t even look up.’
Another teen told me, ‘My dad will just ignore me when
I’m trying to talk to him. I don’t think it’s intentional.
He’ll be on his email or on Facebook, and there’s just a
big silence when I say something.’
Parenting experts warn that pervasive digital distractions are harming interpersonal relationships, hindering youth from developing face-to-face communication
skills. They say parent behavior is teaching children
that disappearing into digital devices for endless hours
is an appropriate pastime.
A 2014 study by UCLA researchers found that sixth
graders who spent five days screen-free were better at
reading facial expressions and nonverbal cues of human emotion at the end of the period than classmates
who used smartphones and watched television or other
digital screens.
“We are a generation of helicopter parents. We’re
always with our children – at the soccer practices and
games, at the school performances, on the field trips –
but we aren’t actually present. We’re on our phones.
A reporter I talked to about the upcoming National
Day of Unplugging (March 6-7) said that she can
remember her mom sitting with her back to the kids
while tied to the curly cord of the home phone, talking
with her friends. We agreed, tough, that the difference
then was that that phone couldn’t accompany her mom
everywhere she went; when she left the house, she left it
behind. Now our phones, email, Facebook, Twitter, and
Instagram go with us everywhere.
As smartphones invade our daily activities, parents are
increasingly less present for their children. In a study
released in 2014, researchers observed 55 groups of parents and young children eating at fast food restaurants.
They found that 72% of caregivers pulled out a mobile
device right away and mostly ignored the children
throughout the meal. It’s no wonder, then, that experts
say that kids today feel second in importance to their
digital devices.
Our ancestors created Shabbat, a day of rest, but for
the most part, today’s society never seems to shut down.
That’s why Reboot developed the National Day of Unplugging and its guiding project, the Sabbath Manifesto – with the recognition that everyone can benefit from
reclaiming a day of rest and that the need to pause and
refocus is universal. The day promotes not just one day
of unplugging a year but a lifestyle change. The idea
is to slow down life enough to regularly observe each of
the 10 principles: avoid technology, connect with loved
ones, nurture your Health, get outside, avoid commerce,
light candles, drink wine, eat bread, find silence, give
back). That could be on the traditional Jewish Sabbath
or any other day of the week.”
‘When my mom is on her phone – texting or emailing
or on Facebook – she doesn’t even talk to me,’ said one
teen. ‘I’ll try to talk to her about important stuff but
I wish I could say that I totally unplug on Shabbat. I
can’t. I strive to do this but I am not there yet. If there
is one more important way for me to honor Shabbat,
Continued on page 9
5
Page Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
From The Early Childhood Center
by Jane Emmer
Cantor Kerry Ben-David and the Early Childhood Center
Cantor Kerry brought joy and smiles wherever he went. During the past ten
years Kerry visited the ECC with a smile and a plan. His plan was always the
same: to share his wisdom and passion for life with his youngest fans.
Kerry often came to the ECC with his grandson, Baxter, and sang with us,
played the keyboard and frolicked in our classrooms. Several years we had a
book swap, and Kerry came to read stories and share his love of books.
Last year, Cantor Kerry visited us for Purim. He brought puppets and props to
share the story of Purim with the ECC. He sang and told the story of the holiday as
he engaged every student with enthusiasm and care. As we celebrated Purim this
year he was sorely missed, but when thinking about Kerry wewcan’t help but
smile.
Bring Happiness by Seema Chowdhury
Spend less time in worrying about tomorrow,
For life is a journey of joy and sorrow.
So bring happiness along life's way,
And learn this rule for yourself each day.
And try to find its road through life,
And learn more rules of joy to survive.
For happiness is like a flowing stream,
That emits joy's light like a beam.
And give happiness to all who deserve,
And know to bring others happiness love.
Cantor Kerry, you will be sorely missed. We loved you and will always cherish your happiness and smile.
6
Page Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
From The Ritual Committee
By Michael Salpeter, Chair
As the deadline for this column approaches on the tenth day of each month, I spend a considerable amount of
time deciding on what topic to share. As I approach March 10, I know I want to reflect on our late, beloved Cantor
Kerry Ben-David.
When I met Kerry 9 years ago, my first impression was that there was no way he could be as optimistic and
upbeat as he seemed. Boy, was I wrong. Throughout our relationship, whenever we faced a difficult time at JFC,
Kerry always reassured me that everything would work out, which most often it did.
My next experience with Kerry was his masterful command of the world of music. He was able to change music
on a weekly basis to help us explore the richness, depth, and breadth of ritual music. This experience then was
followed by the great enthusiasm and polished operatic voice which completed the package. If you stood next to
him while he was singing, you felt the air surrounding you vibrating with his powerful voice. He especially shone
in the spotlight of the High Holy Days, with his phenomenal renditions of Shema Kolenu, Shalom Rav, and the
great Aleinu, when he kneeled down so far he relied on my help to get back on his feet.
Each week Kerry would ask detailed questions about my family – “What were they doing? How were they feeling?
When was he going to see them?” – and whatever else crossed his mind. Inevitably he would volunteer to help us
set up whatever was needed at any given service or event, even if we clearly did not require any additional help.
There were two humorous incidents that I need to share with you. Several years ago about an hour before the
Erev Rosh Hashanah service, we realized that the curtain for our portable ark was misplaced by the dry cleaner.
Instead of the ark curtain, the hanger contained a linen and lace tablecloth. While we were panicking trying to
figure out what we could do, Kerry quietly took the tablecloth that was on the dry cleaner’s hanger and somehow
fashioned a curtain out of it. I guarantee that 90% of you reading this article never realized we were sliding a
tablecloth across the front of the ark each time we opened it. Then, on the Second Day of Rosh Hashanah, Kerry
appeared in the morning asking if anybody had seen his music book. Again rather than panic, he took one of the
choir member’s music books and made copies of what he needed. Several months later a stranger appeared in
the JFC office stating she had found a water-logged book with Hebrew writing in it while jogging along Route 123
and figured it must belong to us. Kerry had left his music book on top of his Jeep while getting in, drove away,
and it flew off, landing alongside the road.
Then there were those Friday evenings when Cantor Kerry would fill in when the rabbi was not present. He would
inject his own style and flavor into the service – teaching us about what the words of the prayers meant – many
times giving us too much information. I used to joke with Kerry before a service that we should try to finish before
midnight. One of our congregants put it succinctly when he remarked that Kerry knew how to start a sentence,
but did not always know how to finish one.
While at the Ben-David home for the shiva minyan, I noticed that the kitchen was a microcosm of Kerry’s life.
Just outside the window was that crazy RV that he was so proud of, driving it to Maine each summer. On the
refrigerator were dozens of photographs, all of his family. My weekly conversations with him always included remarks about how proud he was of Sheera becoming a cantor, how remarkable Adam was as a conductor, and most
of all details about his “real” job of babysitting for his grandchildren Baxter and Shadow. The final Friday evening
we were together, I heard all the details of his trip to Disney with Batyah and Baxter which had just concluded less
than 24 hours prior to Shabbat. He would state to me on a number of occasions that the “real” singer in his family
was Batyah. He also would tell me that his son-in-law Steven was regarded as a son by him. On the wall of Cantor
Kerry’s kitchen hung two old license plates which were completely appropriate – the first was MESHUGGAH.
Kerry was, as Rabbi Burstein so aptly put it during his eulogy, a little eccentric, and the second license plate read
KVETCHER, which Kerry clearly was not.
Kerry was a complex person, yet it was not difficult to figure him out, as is the case with most complex people.
Needless to say Kerry is missed by us all and will be missed for many years to come. On a personal basis I miss
him dearly as a cantor and as a close and trusted friend.
Shalom, my friend.
7
Page Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Ask the Rabbi
What is the difference between a tallit and a tallis? And what does it represent?
The words tallit and tallis are the same word -- “tal-LEET” is the Sephardic pronunciation (the way Israelis
speak Hebrew today) and “TAL-lis” is the Ashkenazic pronunciation (the way most of our grandparents spoke
Hebrew, if they came from Eastern Europe or Russia). A tallit is a prayer shawl that Jews wear during the
morning service each day. Traditionally, it was worn by a man after he married, but some liberal communities
allow the tallit to be worn at and following a bar mitzvah ceremony. Since women are able to wear a tallit in
liberal congregations, they can wear one at and following their bat mitzvah ceremony.
A tallit was traditionally made from wool or linen; nowadays they can come in silk, cotton, or synthetic fabrics.
Up until the last generation or so, the stripes on a tallit typically were black. Now many have blue stripes or
come in beautiful colors and patterns. The Israeli flag is modeled after the tallit.
Numbers 15:37-39 contains the laws for wearing a tallit:
God spoke to Moses as follows: Speak to the Israelite people and instruct them to make for themselves fringes
on the corners of their garments throughout the ages; let them attach a cord of blue to the fringe at each corner.
That shall be your fringe; look at it and recall all the commandments of Adonai and observe them, so that you
do not follow your heart and eyes in your lustful urge.
Rather than the tallit, it is the tzitzit, or fringes, that are most important -- reminding us to perform the commandments in the torah.
A tallit katan -- literally a “small tallit” -- is sometimes worn by traditional Jews underneath their clothing. It is
a type of undershirt that has fringes on the four corners.
Rabbi Michael Strassfeld writes that a tallit “helps the worshiper create an environment conducive to prayer
just by marking the time to worship in a physical way. At times it conveys a sense of being enveloped in the
surrounding divine, while at other times it simply encloses us, helping us focus on praying. It is for the latter
reason that some people cover the top and sides of their head with a large tallit to block out any distractions.”
(p. 199, A Book of Life.)
Most tallitot (plural of tallit) have an atarah, literally “a crown,” -- a decorated extra border worn around the
neck. Sometimes the atarah has the blessing for putting on a tallit, other times it may be another famous Jewish phrase or even someone’s name.
The tallit is only worn in the morning with two exceptions: Kol Nidre or Erev Yom Kippur, when it is worn at
night; and Tisha B’Av, when it is worn only in the afternoon.
A tallit is not worn to a funeral, nor in the cemetery. Because this ritual object reminds us to perform the mitzvot and a dead person cannot perform mitzvot, it is considered improper to wear a tallit around those who have
died. Additionally, although it is traditional to bury a tallit with the deceased in the coffin, it is made invalid/
un-Kosher by having one of the fringes cut off.
8
Page Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Continued from page 3 - Presidents Message
Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
o Leslie and the education team have met frequently to address the challenges of building
a new religious school. They are working on matters such as scheduling, identification of
teachers, tuition rates, curricula and other matters.
o The Governance Team has prepared a preliminary draft of a form of bylaws for a new
synagogue.
o The Finance and Legal Team continues to refine financial projections of what a united
synagogue would look like and to address the future dues structure for each membership
category.
o The Integration Team has created a blog that will be used to share union-related news.
o The Ritual Team continues to meet and make plans for weaving our traditions together,
and have recently discussed b’nai mitzvah practices and high holiday worship.
o The leadership of both synagogues, working with a branding expert who is a member of
TSI, have started to discuss strategies for identifying a name for a united synagogue.
o Rabbi Burstein and Rabbi Reiner of TSI continue to create a vision of what the rabbinate
of a united synagogue would look like, particularly from the perspective of the enrichment
that two extraordinary Rabbis could bring to the combined community.
o As we have previously noted, the clergy and lay leadership of the legacy synagogues
decided that each would cancel its own Shabbat service from time to time and instead
attend services at the other synagogue. On March 6, a joint service was held at TSI that
was attended by 65 congregants. We’ve received strong feedback about these services,
and additional opportunities have been placed on the calendar: on March 20, a Shabbat
service jointly led by the clergy of both synagogues will be held at JFC. Joint services will
give us the opportunity to begin to see the possibilities for a combined service.
o As revelatory as we expect these services to be, in order to give JFC and TSI congregants
an opportunity to get to know the Rabbi of the other synagogue on a more personal level,
the leadership of both synagogues are working together to create more informal “meet
and greet” occasions. You’ll hear more about these shortly.
o Each synagogue’s standing ritual committee has met to plan joint celebrations of
upcoming festivals, and a combined Seder on the second night of Passover will be held at
TSI.
o We are planning other shared events and celebrations to give the congregants of each
synagogue the opportunity to get to know one another better.
Continued on page 9
9
Page Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Continued from page 2 - Rabbi’s Desk
and hope, problems and promise, risk and renewal. Let us grasp hands together and remind each
other to not look only at the mud, but at the miracles as well...
Continued from page 4 - Religious School
being unplugged for its duration is one of my strongest goals. Working on Sundays at Religious School makes
me feel that I need to check lesson plans filed by email and last minute teacher updates… but this can surely
wait until the sun retires on Saturdays. When I think about another reason to unplug on Shabbat and for bigger
blocks of time in my life—I think about our beloved Cantor Ben-David.
As all who knew him know that Kerry was a giant of a man with a super-sized heart. He embodied sunshine. As
Rabbi Burstein noted in his eulogy for Kerry, he would burst into a situation with excitement and stories-- and
then quietly recede so that others could fill in the space. This made him unique. Kerry was so present whenever he was present. I can’t ever remember him distracted or too busy to focus on the moment. Kerry was always
plugged into life. I want to be just like Kerry (z’l). I want to live in the moment all of the time.
It seems we all need to create new rules in our lives for the use and inclusion of our electronic devices. We
don’t need to wait for a power outage to find quiet time to actually be together. These days it’s getting more
challenging to simply sit and read a book alone (my favorite activity) or to sit quietly to reflect on a situation—
or the world. Our lives have become too much outside ourselves. Maybe we can all let Kerry and Shabbat help
teach us how to let our own energy source be enough. That inner light and the light of Shabbat can brighten
our lives beyond measure.
Continued from page 8 - President’s Message
In short, the effort continues to move forward. If the Boards of the two legacy synagogues decide to
recommend a union to their respective congregants, it is our hope that the congregations would vote
on a plan sometime in May.
Glenn Kurlander and Hal Wolkin
10
Page Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Eulogy for Cantor Kerry Ben-David
By Rabbi Marcus L. Burstein
Kerry Ben-David was a breath of fresh air,
living his life with unbridled joy. Very few people
can notice, feel, and then communicate the wonders of our world the special way that Kerry could.
Filled with gratitude for the many gifts he had in
life, Kerry enthusiastically shared those gifts with
everyone he met.
From the moment I met him, Kerry was all
in, all the time. Intense and intuitive, proud and
passionate, energetic and, yes, eccentric, Kerry’s
presence filled wherever he was. Then – almost
magically – immediately he receded into the
background, allowing space for the other to shine.
Caring, probing, and detailed questions would
come one after the other – how are you? How
was your week? Or trip? Or family? What do
you think about the news, or what happened last
week at services, or the possibility of trying this
in the future? He listened intently and laughed
intensely. Kerry’s easy manner and genuine and
down-to-earth sensibility enabled him to connect
to almost anyone, regardless of age or ability, status or standing.
As a fellow leader of Jewish Family Congregation, what a blessing it was to share the
bima with Kerry! He taught, encouraged, led,
listened, shared, and, oh, how he sang! I would
marvel at his musical talents and the depth of
soul he could bring to our prayers and melodies.
Several times in the midst of service, I would gleefully and jokingly share with the congregation
something like, “We are so lucky that everyone
here can benefit when our cantor shows off!” He
knew how to linger on a note, a word, or a phrase.
Cognizant of God’s gift to him, he used that gift to
bring others closer to God.
Paradoxically, one of the few character
flaws Kerry had was his eagerness to please others. Even before I asked him if he might be able to
lead a service or shiva minyan in my absence, he
would offer to do so. Travel distances and times
did not matter – he would be there. Reliable and
trustworthy, the congregation and I could always
count on Kerry. I would receive text messages
Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
from him at all hours of the day and night sharing
his excitement when he could help someone, help
the congregation, or help me. He wanted to make
life easier and happier for others in any way he
could.
**Kerry’s Jewish journey inspired Jews and
non-Jews alike, with his embrace of our religion
and culture. Of course, that never precluded him
from singing a traditional Hebrew prayer to O
Danny Boy around St. Patrick’s Day or other such
fun cultural mashups, but his incredible depth
of musical knowledge only added to our Jewish
music and tradition. I know that Kerry loved the
way Judaism touches the soul and has the ability to change and improve our lives. Apart from
his congregational duties and responsibilities,
I enjoyed hearing stories of his constant acts of
gimilut chasadim, helping here and there, or accompanying Batyah for some program, trip, or
mitzvah at the Woodlands Community Temple.
More than a career, Judaism was a way of life for
him, Batyah and their family.
In addition to his musical skill and talents,
Kerry’s recent bout with cancer equally inspired
others. He truly wanted the experience to teach
him and make him a better person, so that he
could connect more easily with others and encourage them in their struggles. Positive through
his entire treatment regimen, he never complained, nor did he miss a single Shabbat service.
Even when he felt a bit depleted from the medication, leading Shabbat worship gave him strength
and purpose. Amazingly, he always sounded
great. He wanted to make a recording of songs of
healing and inspiration to those in cancer treatment, specifically with a picture of him bald on
the cover of the CD case. Unfortunately, that was
not to be.
We all know of Kerry’s devotion to his family. He supported Batyah in a marriage of close to
45 years. He mentioned Adam and Sheera and his
grandsons Baxter and Shadow almost every time
we were together, and I know that he was very
fond of his son-in-law Steven as well. They were
the light of his life.
Continued on next page.
11
Page Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Kerry’s life ended too soon, but he was
fortunate to end on a proverbial high note. Just
before he died, he and Batyah took their grandson Baxter to Disney World, a trip that had been
postponed before for a few reasons. Kerry loved
spending time with his grandsons, and their trip
was a time to get to know Baxter in a different
way. He proudly shared stories and pictures of his
trip with me last week before Shabbat services.
Kerry’s very last moments were filled with
everything he would have hoped for. After consoling a family in bereavement using the words
and melodies of our tradition at a shiva minyan,
Kerry concluded the service, returned to his car,
and had a heart attack before starting the car. His
life ended with three of his most cherished values
– music, Jewish tradition, and helping others.
My email inbox has been filled with countless
emails from JFC congregants, colleagues, and
even classmates of his from HUC who remembered conversations from decades ago that
changed their lives. This spring our congregation
was planning to celebrate the 30th anniversary of
his ordination as a cantor, and some future event
will take place in his legacy and memory.
In last week’s torah portion of Terumah,
we read that God says to Moses, “Tell the Israelite
people to bring Me gifts; you shall accept gifts for
Me from every person whose heart is so moved”
or who are “generous of heart.” A few verses later
we read the famous words: “V’asu li mikdash,
April Oneg Shabbat Hosts
April 3 No Shabbat Services, Erev Passover
April 10 Andrew and Allyson Rappaport
Alan and Lisa Sheptin
April 17 Brian and Jillian Chipman Steven and Melissa Goodstein
April 24 David and Amy Fischer
Eric and Meredith Rudin
Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
v’shachanti b’tocham. And let them make Me a
sanctuary that I may dwell among them.” Cantor
Kerry Ben-David was one of the most generous of
heart people I have ever met. His gift to us was to
build a special place in all of our hearts; there he
will dwell for as long as we live. Zichrono livracha – his memory will surely be a blessing to all
those who had the honor and joy of knowing him.
Amen.
**(My remarks continued here at the
funeral ceremony on Friday morning.) I wrote
much more for today before I was asked to make
my remarks extremely brief. I will be honored to
share those words and thoughts with our congregation tonight at Shabbat services and at other
future times when Jewish Family Congregation
will honor the memory and legacy of our beloved
cantor. Our co-presidents Hal Wolkin and Glenn
Kurlander, the professional staff, and our entire
congregation offer our deepest condolences to
Batyah, Adam, and Sheera, Steven, Baxter, and
Shadow. I, personally, will miss my friend and
partner, colleague, confidant, and cantor. Zichrono livracha – his memory will be a blessing
to all who had the honor and joy of knowing him.
Amen.
12
Page Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Long-time JFC member and teacher
Rona Salpeter
is available to help with:
babysitting, house sitting, animal care—& all jobs requiring a loving caring individual!
References are available upon request.
Contact Rona at # 914-643-8176.
Easy ways to Support JFC
 Shopping at Amazon through Jewish Family Congregation website gives us a commission on all purchases.
This is a convenient way to support JFC and a convenient way to shop.
http://www.amazon.com/?ie=UTF8&*Version*=1&*entries*=0&link_code=hom&tag=jewishfamil0e-20
 Each time you shop at DeCicco Market, tell the cashier you are a JFC member before ringing up your
order. JFC will receive a rebate from your purchases.
Thank You For Your Generous Support!
13
Page Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
2015-16 Religious School Program Schedule
Grades K-6- One Day a Week Program
Early Tuition Rate Deadline: May 15, 2015 – Online Registration Now Available
www.jewishfamilycongregation.org
Grades K-1:
Thursdays 4:15-6:00 pm (includes service/music)
or
Sunday 10:15-12:00 pm (includes service/music)
Grades 2-3:
Thursdays 4:15-6:00 pm (includes service/music)
Grades 4-6:
Sundays 9:00 am-12:00 pm (includes service/music)
Enrichment Day Option-Additional Class Meeting Day-Combined Grade Classes
(includes service/music)
Grades K-2, Wednesdays 4:15-6:00 pm
Grades 3-4, Wednesdays 4:15-6:00 pm
Grades 5-6, Wednesdays 4:15-6:00 pm
Grade 7 (B’nai Mitzvah): 2 day-a-week program plus tutoring
Wednesdays 4:15-6:00 pm (includes service/music) plus
Sundays 10:15 am-12:00 pm (includes service/music) plus
24 half hour private B’nai Mitzvah tutoring sessions- arranged individually plus
Additional attendance required at several Friday & Saturday Shabbat services
Confirmation I & II: Weekly pizza dinner, Thursdays, Grades 8 & 9 - 5:30-6:15 pm
Grade 8/Confirmation I Class (Confirmation is a 2 year program):
Thursdays, 6:15-7:15 pm
Grade 9/Confirmation II Class:
Thursdays, 6:15-7:15 pm
Student Mentor Program- SMP-Teaching Training Program:
New Grade 9 (& up) students enroll
Weekly assistant teaching participation (Sunday, Wednesday or Thursday) plus
one only), Sundays 9:45-10:15 am
pedagogy class (year
Student Leaders Program- SLP- Grades 9-12
Individualized leadership/volunteer/aide opportunity
Program participation to be arranged individually
Grade 9 Mentors & Leaders: salaried positions/posts assigned individually,
SMP students continue in grades 10-12 without instructional class to assist teachers or lead classes as
instructors
NFTY/NAR & BBYO Youth Groups (Grades 8-12) Each YG meets twice a month
NFTY meets Thursdays, 7:15-8:15 pm following Confirmation I & II
BBYO meets on Sundays, time TBD and runs independent of the Religious School
Confirmation students are all YG members
Grades 10-12: Post Confirmation (1X month), Tuesdays 6:15-7:30 pm
14
Page Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Second Evening Passover Seder
at Temple Shearith Israel
Led by the clergy of both congregations
Saturday, April 4, 6 pm
$18/adult, $10/child 12 and under*
Includes Passover ritual food, juice, soda, and paper goods.
Each family brings a Kosher for Passover dish to share.
Please let the office know by Friday, March 27 what you will be bringing and how many will be attending.
[email protected]
914-763-3028
Please observe the following guidelines:
Must not contain bread, pasta, rice, or legumes.
No dairy products can be used in preparation (as we will have meat at the seder.)
If you drink wine, please bring your own. Wines must say Kosher for Passover.
*Consistent with JFC’s welcoming nature, we do not exclude participation because of financial need. Should you
need financial assistance, please contact our treasurer, Robyn Cohen at [email protected]
15
Page Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Roadside
Cleanup
Help us clean up
Route 35
Sunday, April 12 - 9:15 am sharp
Meet at Bagel Nosh Café at the
Cross River Shopping Center

The cleanup is a rain or shine event so please dress accordingly.

Please wear bright colors if possible (we have a few orange vests but probably not
enough to go around).

It is very important that all participants wear long pants and long sleeves. Hats
are a good idea. Gloves (a heavy pair) are extremely important.

If any minors are participating their parents have to watch them carefully since
Route 35 is a very busy road.
Since it has been approximately six months since we did this last and our section of Route 35
was spotless when we finished in October, there is quite a lot of trash along our route. It usually
takes about 2 hours to complete the task.
Please RSVP to [email protected] if you can participate. Please also
encourage others to join us as well. This event is open to current and former JFC members.
16
Page Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Almost There! Need by April 15
Operation Smile Toothpaste Drive*
by Karina Barth
Hi everyone! Thank you all for your help with my Mitzvah project. My Bat Mitzvah
is coming and I want to collect as many small toothpaste tubes as I can.
Dentists have been very generous with me. Ask your dentist for a donation, too!
Operation Smile’s medical volunteers perform free surgeries to repair cleft palates
and facial deformities in less fortunate kids around the world.
They are in desperate need of small toothpaste tubes to give to the kids after
surgery, to keep their teeth clean and show off their beautiful new smiles.
We are very grateful for your donation. Thanks, Karina
* Toothpaste expiration date must be at least six months from now - October, 2015 or beyond.
Almost There! Need by April 15
Operation Smile Toothpaste Drive*
Come hear Jay Walker, founder of Priceline.
by Karina Barth
Jay Scott Walker is an American inventor, entrepreneur and chairman of Walker
Hi everyone! Thank you all for
your help with my Mitzvah project. My Bat Mitzvah
Digital, a privately held research and development lab focused on using digital
is coming and I want to collect
as many small toothpaste tubes as I can.
networks to create new business systems. Walker is also curator of TEDMED
since 2011, and a founder of Priceline.com and Synapse Group, Inc. A 1999
Dentists have been very generous
with me. Ask your dentist for a donation, too!
Forbes profile of Walker questioned if he was "An Edison for a New Age," noting
his reliance on patents
as a business
model. He is to
a prolific
inventor
has been
Operation Smile’s medical volunteers
perform
free surgeries
repair
cleftandpalates
719 U.S. kids
utility patents
as ofthe
Juneworld.
25, 2013. Businessweek featured him
and facial deformities in lessgranted
fortunate
around
as one of the "Businessweek e.biz 25" in 1999.
They are in desperate need of small toothpaste tubes to give to the kids after
surgery, to keep their teeth clean and show off their beautiful new smiles.
April 22, 7:30 pm
We are very grateful for your donation. Thanks, Karina
Temple Shearith Israel, 46 Peaceable Street, Ridgefield CT 06877
* Toothpaste expiration date must be at least six months from now - October, 2015 or beyond.
This is a joint JFC Men's Group and TSI Brotherhood event
17
Page Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Lest We Forget
Yom HaShoah Observance
Holocaust Remembrance and
Shabbat Service with the
JFC Choir
Friday, April 17, 2015
7:30 pm
Jewish Family Congregation
111 Smith Ridge Road
South Salem, NY 10509
914-763-3028
18
Page Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Religious School
S.T.A.R.S. Program
Save the Date: Sunday, May 3!
Each student needs to attend the same number of services as his/her grade in
order to attend the party on May 3 at 10 am. Get busy now and start attending
Friday night services. Use your STARS sheet to keep track of the dates and/or
sign in using the Big Binder in the Youth Lounge whenever you arrive for Shabbat. Call or email to say you’ll be attending!!
STARS kids come from 10-11 am for all the fun they can fit in. From 11 am- 1 pm
the entire school and congregation can join us but bring some spending money
as this is our spring school fundraiser and we are counting on your support!
19
Page Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
SPACE IS LIMITED:
REGISTER BY APRIL 12TH!
TSI’S 5 ANNUAL
MITZVAH DAY
th
Sunday, May 3rd, 12:00 pm – 4:00 pm
Work on a team to help a local agency, individuals or TSI with a task
(i.e. food pantry work, outreach to hospitalized children, gardening, crafts with
seniors)
Members and non-members of all ages welcome!
Perform a mitzvah as a family, individual or for a bar/bat-mitzvah!
Schedule:
12:00 - 12:30 (after Sunday school): Pizza kick-off and mitzvah assignments
12:30 - 1:00: Travel to work site /set up
1:00 - 3:00: Work
3:00 - 3:30: Travel back to TSI
3:30 - 4:00: Ice cream celebration and slide show of volunteers at work sites
Registration Required: contact Debbie Landzberg/Social Action Committee
[email protected] or 914-763-3199
IMPORTANT: Please be sure to provide us with the following information
*Names of participants
*Number of adults *Number of children *Ages of children
*E-mail address *Telephone number
*Special skills/interests *Limitations
20
Page Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Join us as
Jewish Family Congregation
pays tribute to our educators,
Friday, May 8, 2015
7:30 pm.
JFC Religious School Teacher Recognition Shabbat
Jewish Family Congregation is blessed to have an incredible
staff of dedicated teachers. Our teachers work each week to
instill a love of Judaism and Israel in our students that they
will carry with them for the rest of their lives. Please join
the congregation in honoring our teachers at as we offer
them a special blessing.
Jewish Family Congregation, 111 Smith Ridge Road, South Salem, NY
www.jewishfamilycongregation.org
21
Page Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Save The Date!
Spring Gala JFC and TSI join together for a
fabulous evening!
Music, fun, friendship and
silent auction
Saturday, May 16, 2015
7:00 - 10:00 pm Temple Shearith Israel
Event invitation to follow
22
Page Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Shavuot 5775
Join us as we celebrate Shavuot on Saturday, May 24 at 10:30 am at
Jewish Family Congregation
Members of Temple Shearith Israel will join us
We look forward to having you be part of this special service.
Jewish Family Congregation, 111 Smith Ridge Road, South Salem, NY 10590
www.jewishfamilycongregation.org
23
Page Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Confirmation 5775
Join us for Shabbat and Confirmation Services
Friday, May 29, 7:30 pm
As we will honor our confirmands
Ally Andrade, Aaron Cohen, and Wynter Schnell
Each will share a few thoughts on this special occasion.
Festive Ice Cream Sundae
reception to follow
Jewish Family Congregation, 111 Smith Ridge Road, South Salem, NY 10590
www.jewishfamilycongregation.org
24
Page Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Donations
Early Childhood Center Fund
Julie and Francisco Rendon
Allyson and Andrew Rappaport
Jennifer Castelhano
General Fund
Norman Alexander in honor of Carole Ruth Alexander
David and Amy Fischer in memory of Eugene Kahn
David and Amy Fischer in memory of Cantor Kerry Ben-David
Jeff Berg and Debra Paget in memory of Cantor Kerry Ben-David
Robi Margolis in honor of Michael Salpeter receiving the Julian Bernstein Distinguished Service Award
Rabbi Discretionary Fund
Norman Alexander in memory of Carole Ruth Alexander
Religious School Discretionary Fund
Ruth and Harold Ossher in memory of Eugene Kahn
Donations made after the tenth of the month will appear in next month’s Shofar.
Anniversaries
Warren & Karen Lustig
Jack Wilson & Marjorie Schiff
25
Page Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Don’t forget to stop in and check
out the JFC Gift Shop!
If you are interested in
purchasing anything, please
let us know in the JFC Office.
26
Page Jewish Family Congregation Shofar MB TUTORING
Hundreds of students helped to excel
Malcolm Brown
MIT Chemical Engineer B.S., M.S.
Prep
• SAT, PSAT & ACT
Math
• 7th & 8th Grades
• High School sequence
• Calculus
Science • Chemistry  Physics
• Earth Science
For further information, contact:
Telephone: (914) 533-5468
E-mail: [email protected]
Registered State tutoring. Serving Westchester and Fairfield
Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
27
Page Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Birthdays
Neil Alexander
David Amerling
Dr. Paul Amerling
Alexandria Andrade
Richard Auerbach
Avery Baum
Lily Bender
Richard Carter
Cyndi Dodes
Adam Cohen
Evy Drawec
Ellen Elias
Lauren Fried
Carly Goldstein
Max Goodstein
Lawrence Gottlieb
Maci Reba Greenspan-Andujar
Rachel Kalter
Sarah Kaplan
David Kurzweil
Dr. Rita Landman
Alison Lustig
Marlee Lustig
Harrison Mazlish
Ike Radin
Andrew Rappaport
Allyson Rappaport
Jack Shapiro
Samantha Shulman
Julia Sklarin
Jessica Stark
Zachary Stark
Paul Stevelman
Miriam Wilson
Yahrzeits
Eleanor Aufsesser
Ramon Garay
Esther Oks- Ponczyk
Abraham Belsky
Phyllis Goldfield
Joshua Ponczyk
Bernard Benjamin
Lillian Gordon
Anne Elizabeth Raynor
Mary Benjamin
Harlan Hettmansberger
Thelma Reichenthal
Mickey Conn
Mary E. Keleher
Emmy Sternberger
Arnold Eydenberg
David Leitner
Lisa Stoll
Murray Fischberg
Rose Leitner
Barbara Traynor Stoll
Nathalie Fried Alexander
Arthur Margolis
Fay Goodman Weisberg
28
Page Jewish Family Congregation Shofar Nissan - Iyar 5775/ April 2015
Non Profit
Organization
Postage
PAID
White Plains, NY
Permit No. 9022
Youth Group assembles gift bags for Developmentally
Disabled Seder Service.
Current Resident Or
Upcoming Events
Saturday, April 4
Sunday, April 12
Friday, April 17
Friday, May 8
Saturday, May 16
Sunday, May 24
Second Evening Passover
Roadside Clean Up
Yom HaShoah
Teacher Recognition Shabbat
Spring Gala
Shavuot Service
Make sure to check out our calendar for up to date
events at www.jewishfamilycongregation.org