Volume
XVIIL Issug#2: April-May
Suraiaors of Su0eid,e ^Loss
a
publication of Fresno Survivors of Suicide Loss, Inc.
Survivor support and suicide prevention education programs
CA 93720
(559)
(559)
322-1 140
Telephone:
322-5877/FAX
www.fresnosos.org
2585 East Peruin Avenue #102, Fresno,
Linda Ginise, Newsletter Editor
SURVIVOR, SUPPORT OROUP MEETINOS
tN Tflts tssuE
Soup For The Soul
I
SOS Local Group News.
2
We Are Going Digital!
2
Upcoming Events
safeTALK Half-day Workshop
Donations
Call If You Need to Talk .
2
From Our
In
Library . .
Fresno
Hope Lutheran Church Conference Room
Northwest corner of Fresno & Barstow
(Enter parking lot from Fresno Street)
2
WHEN: TUESDAY**
2
prn
eptt Z tst#OO
May 19th, 7-9:00 pm
3
**(3rd
Loving Memory
3
Articles
zrY@o
c"rr*.t
5
Suicide History: Taboos
& Stigmas.
7
A Dollar a Day in May
7
Kevin Hines Event Info
Info.
.
.
.
2I0 E. Center, Visalia
WHEN: THURSDAY
April 16th, 6:30-8:00 pm
5
30th Anniversary Luncheon
R U OK? Event
Tuesday of every month)
3
.
May 21st, 6:30-8:00 pm
Information: Carla Sawyer, 1 86-1525
** (3rd Thursday of every month)
8
8
from
,
Is Suicide u Choice?
"No. Choice implies thut u suicidal person can
reasonably look at alternatives und select
among them. If they could rationally
choose, it would not be suicide. Suicide
happens when all other alternatives are
exhausted -- when no other choices are
seen."
Adina Wrobleski Suicide: Why? (1995)
Ifyou have children youfeel would benefit
meetings, you are welcome to bring them.
However, if your child is under l5 years of age,
you may want to consider the Footsteps
Program at St. Agnes, or Hind's Hospice,
248-85 79 ; I 2-week sessions include services for
children as young as 3 years old.
OT}IER, EVENTS
2nd:
May 7th:
May
May
28th:
Youth Forum
Candlelight Memorial
30th Anniversary
Luncheon
April-May 2015
sos LocAt 0R0uP NEws
tervention resources to identify and avert suicide
risks.
We Are Going Digital!
This will be the
last
provide pa-
month that we will
Leann Gouveia
per copies of the newsletter;
Executive Director
subsequently editions may be
sent via email or read on our
website. If you would like to be on the email list,
please contact Brianna at the office or email her at
B riann a@F res no S O S. o r g.
Upcoming Events
Lots of exciting things
happening in the next few
months, as shown in "Other
Events" on page 1. Please see
the enclosed flyers for details.
safeTALK Half-day
Workshop
Most people
with
thoughts of suicide don't truly
want to die, but are struggling
with the pain in their lives.
Workshop features:
.
.
.
.
Presentations and guidance
LivingWorks registered trainer
from
a
Access to support from a local community
resource person
Powerful audiovisual learning aids
The simple yet effective TALK steps: Tell,
Ask, Listen, and KeepSafe
.
S.H.A.R.E.S Card
If
you have the S.H.A.R.E.S
Card for SaveMart, Smart Foods,
Food Max, and Lucky, please don't
forget to use it! Ifyou don't have one,
please call the office and we will mail
one to you.
This card costs you nothing, but
if you use it when you purchase groceries at the above stores, we will receive a donation of 3o/o of your
purchases. DON'T FORGET TO
USE YOUR CARD. Donations to
date from this program:
Hands-on
skills
practice
and development
.
safeTALK helps
expand
the reach of suicide
intervention skills in
communities around the
world.
Date: Saturday May
2nd,2015;8-11:45AM
Place: CART,
2555
Ave.
Clovis
Clovis, CA 93612
Lunch and
materials
safeTALK is a half-day
will be provided. This training
alertness workshop that preis offered by Kings View and
pares anyone over the age of
costs $450.00 for the session.
15, regardless of prior experiWe are offering this to you
$16,186.04!!
ence or training, to become a
free of charge. Please priorisuicide-alert helper. Most
tize your attendance.
people with thoughts of suicide don't truly want to
Please RSVP as soon as possible; email
die, but are struggling with the pain in their lives.
B r i un n a@F r e s n o S O S. o r g
Through their words and actions, they invite help to
Donations
stay alive. safeTAlK-trained helpers can recognize
these invitations and take action by connecting
Thank you to the following generous donors
them with life-saving intervention resources, such
this past month-you make our many programs
as caregivers trained in ASIST.
possible!
. Patricia Smith
Since its development in 2006, safeTALK
has been used in over 20 countries around the
. SaveMart
world, and more than200 selectable video vignettes
. Leann Gouveia
have been produced to tailor the program's au. Yvonne & Drew Bessinger
dio-visual component for diverse audiences.
. Carol & Rod Stubblefield
safeTAlK-trained helpers are an important part of
suicide-safer communities, working alongside in. Valerie Fonvard
. Joe H. Silva
Page 2
April-May 2015
.
.
.
Carol Ann Porter, Chi Omega Fresno
Alumnae Chapter
health professionals, but there are a large number
books written by survivors as well.
If you would like to check out a book,
Sltsan Napolitano
Sons of
United l(ay of Fresno
Lynette Koury
Jacquelyn Johns
-a,tu__*f;#;
Jennie Guadagno
Y*G">
LovtNo MEM0RV
lives of:
Joe Silva
Rory Bain (April | , 2011), grandson of Lars &
Louis & Sandra Gallagher
Patt Hansen
Loren Baumeister (April 2,2010), father of
Larry & Rose Baumeister
Annie Gurley (April 7 ,2003), sister of Chris
Leann Gouveia
Lee
Joseph Menezes (April 8, 2008), husband of
Shannen Menezes
_
Patrish Rutherford (July 31. 1959 to April9,
2012; 52 years of age), mother of Chrystal
Hanmore
Brandon Christian Flores (July 21,1978 to
April 10,2010;31 years ofage), son of
Barbara Flores
Panda Express
Bank
Attrora Casillas
Colleen Gregg
Michael DeLollis, MD
Linda Ginise
Sam & Linda Lucido
Call If You Need to Talk
If you are not comfortable talking in a
group-as at our monthly meetings-and prefer to
talk one-on-one, call the office, (559) 322-5877.
Leann will arrange for someone to get back to you
as soon as possible. (Remember that we do not have
full-time staff in the office, so you may have to
leave a message.)
K*'
tN
ln loving memory, and in celebration of the
Louis & Colleen Evans
US
just
SOMEONE MAY NEEO TI'E SOOK YOU IIAVE
PIEASE P,ETUP,N AIL SOOKS IN A TITIIELY MANNE?
Diane Card
Dick & Sandy Gallagher
Den & Sandy Stubblefield, in memory of
Helen Cummings
. Den & Sandy Stubblefield, in memory of
- Betty Lou Laval
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
or
check out our collection to see what might interest
you, please call the office. And do, please, call before you go; we do not have full+ime ofhce personnel.
ltaly, in memory of Lisa
Williamson (Gonzales), Scott Moyer,
Lance Hepworth
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
of
::;::f"lo.
or uooks on a
variety of different approaches to grief and the
grieving process. Some books are written by mental
Page 3
Paul Theodore Truehart (April 11,2004),
husband of Frances Truehart; son of Paul
R. Truehart
Paul Wayne Motley (February 18, 1957 to
April 12, 2014;57 years of age), brother of
Lynn Pierce
Erik Tuell (April 12,l9ll to April 13,2005;
28 years of age), friend of Darcie Takeuchi
Vernon Lloyd Hughes (April 14,2000),
grandson of Eva Calhoun
John Joseph Wavrin (Jme 24, 1961 to April
14,2006;44 years ofage), son ofJohn
(Jack) Wavrin
Steven Richard Bingham (April 15,2007),
son of Phyllis Bingham; brother of Celia
Perry
April-May 2015
Shawn Carey Schwartz (April24, 1998), son
of Martin & Eileen Schwartz
Ann Weaver Boldt (April 25,2004), wife of
Richard M. Boldt
Jennifer Lynn Paulonis (April 21,2003),
sister of Amanda Paulonis
Ronald Lehre (April 30, 2001), husband of
Cheri Lehre
Leo B. Mason (April 30,2004), husband of
Misty Mason
Hector Priego (May 1,1963), father of Mary
Charles Ray Blakesley (October 28,1966 to
April 15, 2010; 43 years of age), husband
of Charlene Huebert
Chad Dugger (February L4, 1989 to April 15,
201 1 ; 22 years of age), brother of Steve
Dugger
Gino Moreno (February 15, 1968 to April 16,
1997;29 years ofage), son oflupe
Moreno
Marshall Randsdelle (April 16,2012), son of
Lisa Harper
Michael Robert Mangold (April ll,1995),
fianc6 of Cindy Grauer
Kevin Dennis Flanagan (March 2,1962 to
April 17, 2003;41 years of age), son of
Tom & Janet Flanagan; brother of Mike
'
Flanagan
Russell Louis Fox (November 14, 1981 to
April 17,2010;28 years ofage), son of
Robin Fox Avedesian and Terry Fox
Christopher J. Sheldon (September 17, 1983
to April 18,2011;27 years of age),.son of
Debbie Sheldon
Scott Leon Specht (April 19,1992), husband
of Tamara Specht
David William Caraker (April 19,2004),
brother of Michael Caraker
James P. Wile (July 31, 1953 to April 19,
2001;53 years ofage), brother ofJanet
Melikian
Kerry Sorensen (April 20,1991), brother of
Harvey & Jan Torgeson & Scott Sorensen
Harold Drummond (August 25,2025 to April
20,2013;87 years ofage), dad ofPaula
Brown
Brent Levy (Apr1l2l, 2002), son of Peggy
Wilkey
Keith Allan Schmitt (April 21,2002), brother
of Kim Pendergraft
Larry Dean Davila, Jr. (April 22,2010), son
of Larry & Maycelle Davila
Kenith Emitt Campbell (November 27,2029
to April 23,20T3;83 years of age), father
of Connie Petty
Trujillo
Scott Nicholas Ostergaard (May 1, 2007), son
of Laquitta Ostergaard
Henry Ramirez (December 5,1979 toMay 2,
2013;33 years ofage), son ofHank
Ramirez
Pete Iltis (May 16, 1969 to May 2,2013; 43
years of age), son of Dorene Iltis
Matthew Keith Grazier (May 3,2002), son of
Robert K. & Kathleen M. Grazier; brother
of Michael & David Ctrazier and Susan
Takeuchi
Michael Montez (November l,l94l to May 4,
1975;33 years of age), brother of Olivia
Powell
Gayle Officer Lucas (May 4,1999), wife of
Ed Lucas; daughter of Ken & Laurel
Officer; sister of John & Dynell Rocha
Karen Lankford (January 24, 1949 to May 5,
1993;44 years of age), daughter of James
& Mildred Lankford
John Kenneth Iliff (May 6,2006), husband of
Julie Moore
Michael Lefkowitz (May 7, 1989), son of
Suzanne Karp
Andrew John Griffin (August 12,1950 to
May 9, 2005;54 years of age), husband of
Debbie Griff,rn; father of Mike Griffin;
stepfather of Molly Bennett
Teresa Hakanson (May 14,1967 to May 10,
20ll;43 years of age), sister of Patty
Denson
Page 4
April-May 2015
Chuck Hess (May 11, 2001), husband of Judy
Kennith Howell, Jr. (May 26,2002), son of
Cheryl Breazell
David Andrade (May 26,2004), son of Harry
Hess
Joshua Anthony Pipes (April 10, 1986 to May
11,2007;21years of age), son of Keith &
Sue Pipes; brother of Jordan & Justin
Andrade
Clifford E. Widmer
Danette Butler (May 12,2003), friend of
Rocco Colucci
Donovan Skirvin (February 16,1974 to May
12,2013;39 years of age), son of Harry &
Patty Rixman
Matthew Lincoln (May 23,1982 toMay 12,
2013;30 years ofage), son ofPam Lincoln
Mark W. Henry Anderson (May 3,1965 to
May 15, 1990;25 years of age), son of
Margery Toll; brother of Monica Henry
Gonzalez'
Kenneth Gene Doerksen (December 5,1964
to May 17 ,2013;48 years of age), son of
Allen & Betty Doerksen
Monique Renee Ortiz (October 19,l99l to
MayI9;2009; 17 years of age), daughter
of Renee Robles
Trinify Georgner (February 26,1983 to May
20,2013 30 years ofage), daughter of
Josefina Castro; sister of Lisa & Anna
Kruse,
Trinity Georgner (February 26, 1983 to May
- 20,20L3;30 years ofage), sister of
Jeanette & Liberty Georgner; and Devina
Brisendine; cousin of Irene Hood
Daniel Roger Bjerk (December 19, 1968 to
May 20,2014;45 years of age), son of
Joyce Bjerk
Patrick Evan Allison (May 22,2004),
grandson of Marion Allison
Irene Airada Hernandez (May 23,199L),
daughter of Irene Lemky
Gregory Doss (July 22,1967 to May 24,2004;
36 years of age), son of Jackie Doss;
nephew of Mike & Vickie Torres
Shawn Allen Mann (May 25,1963), brother
of Heather Mann
III
(March7,1998 to
May 26,2005; 7 yearc of age), son of
Priscilla L. Brooks
Manch Eliseo Suarez (October 10, 1984 to
May 26, 2001; 22 years of age), son of
Francine Encinas; nephew of Susan Orsot
Carlos Soto (May 27,2007), son of Cynthia
Smith; brother of Carla Soto; grandson of
Dianna Montgomery
Patricia "Pattey" Lynn Keefe (May 28,
1992), daughter of Francis Knipper
Andrea Elaine Staggs (May 28,1994),
daughter of Jan Woodall-Funch
Pipes
-ti?.:
r
qu*5'
ARnctEs
Suicide History: Taboos
& Stigmas
Stigmas and taboos'cause us all a lot of unnecessary heartache. They start from a base ofigno-
rance and fester like an ulcer
in
society. Left
untreated, they bore deep beneath the surface, causing terrible pain, until they are cut away with education and understanding. The stigmas and taboos of
suicide are the reason I felt such a sense of shame
about the death of my son. I didn't understand this
until I began to study the history of suicide.
Being a history buff, I already knew most ancient societies had no fear of suicide. In fact, they
saw it as an acceptable way to die. In the Greek and
Roman Empires, it was not uncommon for the government to supply a poison-hemlock-if one had
a good reason and wished death by suicide.
What I didn't know was that in the early
Christian era there was an epidemic of suicides.
Life was difficult and many believers were eager to
enter heaven. The Church wanted to put a stop to it.
So, in the 4th century AD, Saint Augustine persuaded the Church to proclaim suicide a sin on the
basis of its being self-murder. This pathetic attempt
at suicide prevention didn't do much good.
Page 5
April-May 2015
In the 13th century AD, Thomas Aquinas
convinced the Church to declare suicide a mortal
sin with eternal damnation as the punishment. This
helped a little, but was still not enough, so the
church said a victim of suicide couldn't have religious rites or be buried in religious cemeteries.
Then laws were put into effect which offered
harsh punishment to anyone who attempted suicide
and to the families of the completed suicide. All
property belonging to the victim was taken by the
government. The body was violated, and often the
head would be placed on a pole outside the city gate
for all to see. Burial was often at a crossroad where
the traffic would pass over the grave. The families
were ridiculed with whispers of contempt, disgust,
and scom. They were the butt of cruel jokes. More
often than not, they would have to move away from
the town, which had been their home. The stigma of
suicide was disgrace, dishonor, humiliation, and
shame. This set up a taboo against talking about suicide, and if one could not talk about it, one could not
learn about it.
These attitudes did not start to change until
the 18th century. The laws were slowly changed.
Even though there isn't any legal punishment in today's society, the stigmas and taboos are a punishment of their own. People have no idea how much
pain they can inflict with some of their ignorant remarks.
One woman told me that my son would burn
in hell for his action. Thank goodness most people
are not so cruel, but often they didn't have to say it;
I could see it in their faces and eyes. I could hear it
in their voices. This woman was devoutly religious
and sincerely believed what she was saying.
Many churches and synagogues are working
to help change these attitudes. The change is slow
because the taboo is so deeply ingrained in us that
even most professionals, like our religious leaders,
teachers, nurses, doctors, and counselors, have not
received the necessary education about suicide of
the grieving process of the family.
these rates could be so high. The reports state that
suicide is the second major cause of death among
high school and college students, the fourth major
cause of death among adults ages 24-34, and that
the highest adult suicide rates are found among men
over the age of50.
This information was alarming, but then I
learned that these rates are based only on the reported deaths, and that one-half to three times that
many are covered up and never reported. Obviously, if there is any doubt at all whether the death
was due to suicide, then it should not be ruled as
suicide.
Many people take their own life in such a
manner as to have the death appear to be an accident. An automobile is driven over a cliff, or
head-on into a tree, an accidental gunshot wound or
hanging that appears to have been an accident
proves fatal,or someone steps in front of an oncoming train.
Authorities also go to great lengths to classify
a death as anything except a suicide. A mother who
lost her daughter to an overdose was told (apologetically) in the hospital, that the death certificate
would have to say suicide. Her unspoken reaction
was, "What else could it say?"
Sometimes the person who finds the body
will remove evidence and make the death appear to
have been an accident or homicide. Some people
will go to all kinds of extremes in an attempt to have
the word "suicide" removed from the death certificate. Stigmas and taboos are often the reasons for
these cover-ups. How sad it is to face the death of
someone we love and then find it necessary to fight
the demons of ignorance.
After studying the history, I had
a better un-
derstanding of my own feelings and of the attitudes
of other people. The sting of ignorant remarks became less hurtful.
When I first saw the statistics on suicide from
The American Suicide Foundation and the National
Institute of Mental Health, I found it hard to believe
Page 6
Author Unknown
30th Anmiversary Lumeheon
Thursday, May 28th, 2015
L1:30am-1:00pm
ry::Hffid
Pardini's Catering & Banquets
Piccadilly Square, 2257 W Shaw Ave, Fresno, CA 92717
Inf ormation: Leann@fresnosos. or g or (559) 222-5877
Invitation to follow
Books/signing available on site
DO
t-JLAR:A: DAY
INJ
IWAY
Our GoaI: One Hundred lDonations!
Please help us reaeh this goal.
Did yorr know $SI.OO...
-Supplies Awareness Materials to an Entire Classroom?
-Funds 2 Support Group Meetings?
-Pays for 3 Survivor Packets for the Newly Bereavedp
Youa DoNerroN dbms-isevu A runn...
Kevin Hines
is an award-winning international speaker, author and mental health advocate.
He has been featured in the critically acclaimed fi|m The Bridge, Good Morning America,
Larry King Live, 20120, Anderson Cooper 360 and lrelond's famed Tonight with Vincent
Browne.
B II OK?
TI DIATTIIIB!
Free Event for Youth
#RUOKUMATTER
This Forum is intended for youth and young adults ages 14-25 to learn warning signs and resources of suicide
prevention and to help develop effective strategies for prevention.
Where: Center for Advanced Research and Technology
2555 Clovis Ave, Clovis
,
(CART)
to register for
the event please go to
CAg361,2
when: saturday, May 2,20L5,9 a'm'-3
For more information or
www.fresnosos.org/events or email
p'm'
Brianna at [email protected].
Fresno County Behavioral Health, MHSA and NAMI Fresno present Kevin Hines
Open to the General Public
Books for purchase, signing and resource fair
Where: Center for Advanced
2555 clovis Ave, clovis ,
Research and Technology
will be available on site
(CART)
When: Saturday, May 2,2075,
5:30-6:30 p'm'
c[g36t2
FREE EVENT!