Stop thinking, start writing: our personal statement writing guide This guide has been written with the help of admissions selectors at the University of Essex – the people who make the decisions! As well as useful tips and general advice, a sample personal statement has been written for each subject area. These are not model answers as they all have particular strengths and weaknesses. The aim is that you become familiar with the content and look of a personal statement. What is a personal statement? Your UCAS personal statement is your opportunity to explain to universities why you have applied for the course(s) that you want to study. You need to demonstrate your enthusiasm and commitment, and convince the admissions selectors that you would be an asset to their institution. Remember that the admissions selector reading your statement is an academic in your chosen area of interest, and will therefore want to know why you chose the subject and wish to study it at a higher level. As you may have difficulty knowing where to start, many of the sample statements in this guide begin with reasons for choosing the course, then back this up with examples from current study or research the applicant has done into the course, and related careers. Applicants then continue with extra-curricular activities, and end by summarising why their experiences and knowledge have led them to choosing this course. Although this is not a set structure for a personal statement, it may be a useful starting point when you begin drafting yours. It is always a good idea to relate back to the course and the fact that you would like to progress to higher education throughout your personal statement. After all, you are writing this document to give yourself the best chance of getting offers from all your chosen courses, so you shouldn’t lose sight of this! Even the best personal statements in this book have weak points; no one is expecting perfection. Remember that universities are mainly interested in your enthusiasm for the course you are applying for and your potential to do well. You should try to display this in your personal statement as strongly as you can. What should I write about? Writing about yourself is not something that you do often, so you may need to practise writing in this particular style. Although your statement should be tailored to the particular subject area you want to study, and the majority of it should cover why you have chosen your course, there are certain points that you should include like: n the reasons why that subject area interests you; n aspects of your current studies that relate to the course(s) that you have chosen; n why you think you would be a good student; n details of jobs, placements, work experience or voluntary work which you have undertaken, particularly if it has relevance to your chosen field; n hobbies, interests and social activities that demonstrate you are a well-rounded person; n non-accredited qualifications, like the Duke of Edinburgh Award Scheme; n any other achievements that you are proud of, eg reaching grade three piano or being selected for the county cricket team; n positions of responsibility that you hold both in and out of school, eg form prefect or representative for a local charity; n attributes that make you interesting, special or unique; and n whether you have any future plans of how you want to use your degree, and the knowledge and experience that you will gain. Remember that you only write one personal statement for all your university choices so try to allow some consistency in your course choices. If you are applying for a joint course, you will need to explain why you are interested in both aspects of a joint programme. Dos and don’ts when constructing your personal statement Do Don’ts Do brainstorm your ideas on paper before attempting to write anything. Don’t feel that you must use fancy language. If you try too hard to impress with long words that you are not confident using, the focus of your writing may be lost. Do check university websites as they may provide information about what they are looking for from applicants. Do aim to use about five paragraphs, making sure that each one flows in a logical way. Do expect to produce several drafts before being totally happy. Do ask friends and family for their feedback. Do ensure that you use your best English and don’t let silly spelling and grammar mistakes spoil your statement. Do be enthusiastic – you can have perfect grades, hundreds of extra-curricular activities and be a really great person but if admissions selectors feel you aren’t passionate about your course, you won’t get a place. Don’t try to be funny as it is a risk: admissions tutors may not share your sense of humour! Don’t lie – if you stretch the truth you may get caught out at interview when you are asked to elaborate on an interesting achievement. Don’t copy someone else’s personal statement or ‘borrow’ chunks from existing personal statements. UCAS uses similarity detection software which can detect when a personal statement is not someone’s original work, and your application will be returned to you if this is the case. Don’t rely on a spellchecker – proof read as many times as possible. Don’t leave it to the last minute – you won’t give the best impression of yourself if you scribble your statement down without thinking about what you are saying. page 1 How do I start? If you’re not sure where to start, use the boxes below to gather information that you would like to include in your personal statement: Course choice What course(s) do you want to apply for? When did you become interested in the course(s)? Why would you find this subject interesting? What would you particularly enjoy? Are there particular elements of the subject that appeal to you? What have you learnt about the subject that has inspired you to take it to university-level? What personal qualities do you possess that make you suited to this area of study? Is your interest sparked by particular career ambitions? Any other reasons? Academic background What are you currently studying? What do you particularly enjoy about your current studies? What have you learnt so far, that you would like to take further? Have you done any particular academic projects within your studies? An extended essay or research project? Have you been on any trips or events that have inspired you? Anything else about your academic studies? page 2 Work experience/part-time jobs You don’t have to fill in all of these boxes, but it might make you think about some of the skills you have learned through the things you are involved in. Skills How can you demonstrate you have developed this skill? Why might this skill be useful to have at university? Commitment Communication skills Computer literacy Confidence Determination Diplomacy Entrepreneurial skills Flexibility Interpersonal skills Organisational skills Problem solving Responsibility Team work Time management Using initiative Working independently Working to deadline page 3 Non-accredited achievements and positions of responsibility Personal achievements What have you gained from this? eg running a marathon Determination to succeed even when faced with challenges Positions of responsibility What have you gained from this? eg prefect A sense of responsibility – being trusted to act as a role model for other students Hobbies and interests Hobby or interest What does this involve? What have you gained from this? eg drama Being involved in a drama club outside school Confidence while performing and commitment to regular rehearsals Future plans If you have a specific career plan in mind, you should mention it in your personal statement, explaining how you hope to use the knowledge and skills gained through your studies. If you don’t know your career plans yet, focus on your course and why you want to progress to higher education. Career plans How will the knowledge and skills gained through your studies help? If you are planning on taking a gap year, you should mention this in your personal statement and explain what you would like to do during this time. Gap year plans page 4 What do you hope to gain from this? Some common questions How strict is the word limit? UCAS Apply limits the text to 47 lines (including blank lines) or 4,000 characters (including spaces), whichever you reach sooner. The limit is there for a reason, as a key test of the process is to check whether you are able to convey your reasons for wanting to study in a clear and succinct way. All the examples in this guide fall within this limit. Should I mention anything about my gap year? Yes, you should explain why you are taking a gap year and what you plan to do. Demonstrate your enthusiasm and initiative, and highlight how the activity may relate to your course. The humanities personal statement in this guide is written by a student on a gap year. How far back should I go when mentioning my hobbies and interests? Only mention things which help support your application; a long list of everything you’ve done is much less impressive than picking one or two things and writing about the skills you have gained through them. Activities undertaken recently will certainly carry more weight than those you did in junior school. I’m only applying to one university – should I mention it in my personal statement? It is not a good idea to mention universities by name or show a bias towards a certain institution in your personal statement. Even if you only intend to apply to one institution, your plans could change later and you cannot change your personal statement. I’m not interesting or unique… what should I do? Everyone has aspects to their personality that make them interesting; it’s just a case of putting them into words. You may find it helpful to ask someone close to you, like a friend, relative or teacher. Subject-specific guides A significant proportion of your statement will require you to demonstrate your interest and suitability for the course that you have selected. This section contains an example statement for each subject area. Remember that these are not model answers and all have particular strengths and weaknesses. Where you see a word or sentence underlined, this indicates a mistake or weakness. Page 6 Accounting, Finance and Banking Page 7 American Studies Page 8 Biology and related courses Page 9 Biomedical Science Page 10 Business Management Page 11 Computer Science and related courses Page 12 Drama and Theatre Page 13 Economics Page 14 English Language and Linguistics Page 15 Entrepreneurship and related courses Page 16 European Studies and Politics (example of a joint degree application) Page 17 Film Studies Page 18 History Page 19 History of Art Page 20 Humanities Page 21 Latin American Studies Page 22 Law and Human Rights Page 23 Literature Page 24 Mathematics Page 25 Modern Languages Page 26 Nursing Page 27 Philosophy Page 28 Politics and International Relations Page 29 Psychology Page 30 Sociology and related courses Page 31 Sports and Exercise Science Page 32 What not to write: example of a personal statement with several weaknesses How should I end my personal statement? Don’t just let it fizzle out; this is your final chance to impress. Avoid being too general by writing something like “I am looking forward to becoming a psychologist”; be much more specific and end on a very positive note by closing your statement with something like “I am passionate about working with young children in the future, and therefore am highly determined to make the most of my degree and achieve my ambition to become a developmental psychologist.” page 5 Accounting, Finance and Banking Accounting is an analytical interpretation of financial information; I see accounting as the backbone of every organisation, it decides the success or failure of a business and it adds and recognises the value of money. Without accounting money will be of little or no value. My passion for business and inquisitiveness about the current financial crisis in the EU has confirmed my decision to study for a degree in accounting. To broaden my understanding and knowledge, I have been reading The Economist and The Financial Times. This gives me an insight into the state of the economy and business organisations, and allows me to be up-to-date with information that happens in the economy. In order to research my chosen career in accounting, I have attended presentations on accounting by local universities and accountancy firms, in which I found out more about the course and the role of an accountant. This has increased my knowledge of the career and improved my understanding of the financial and accounting sector. While studying A-level Accounting in college I have developed a strong interest in the subject and would like to improve my knowledge by continuing to study the subject at university. By studying accounts in college, I learnt a lot about how accounting is used in a variety of business situations and the measurement of financial transaction. I am also studying A-level Economics, which helps me as the subjects combine well. By studying both these subjects, I have a greater understanding of the various concepts, methods and analytical skills involved in them. Whilst studying for my A-levels I have also worked part-time in the retail industry, for Burton. This has allowed me to develop excellent time management skills, working under pressure, and the importance of combining customer service and financial transactions. Additionally, last summer I volunteered at the charity Centrepoint helping redecorate their premises to help young people who are in danger of being homeless. I feel I have been fortunate in my life and appreciate the opportunity to give something back by helping out young people who have had less opportunity. Since I have been at college, I have developed many new skills and improved those I already have. I have become more organised: designating periods page 6 for study and meeting coursework deadlines. The fundamental skill, in which I have developed, is becoming more independent in researching and demonstrating new skills. University is a chance for me to challenge myself in a new environment to achieve my full potential. I intend to maximise all opportunities presented to me by enhancing my understanding of accounting and finance, whilst maintaining a keen interest in my voluntary activities. I also aim to attend extra classes and public lectures to boost my financial knowledge. I am fascinated by systems of accountancy and am sure that a degree in accounting and finance will lay the foundations for my chosen career path. I am dedicated towards my goal of embarking upon a profession in the financial world, but in addition, I feel that attending university will aid in my overall development both personally and professionally. Being an individual who strives to make the most of opportunities that are provided to me, and to whom hard work and success are very important, I am wholly committed to achieving the aforementioned aims and reaching my career potential from my university experience. Strengths n The opening sentence directly addresses the chosen course, which implies decisiveness and commitment without the need for a lengthy introduction. The final paragraph about their interest in university life is also strong: having a strong closing paragraph is also important. n The student goes into a lot of detail about what subject they are studying at the moment, which is relevant to accounting. Weaknesses n There is a brief reference to the current state of the economy but this could have been developed to show an appreciation of how accounting is related to current affairs. n The final two sentences are a little vague and wordy, the beginning and end of personal statements are important so it is good to be succinct. Top tip from an Essex admissions selector “Ensure your personal statement is well structured and demonstrates your commitment to the course(s) you have applied for!” American Studies As John F Kennedy said: “Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future”. I have chosen American Studies as it will give me the opportunity to combine my strong passion for politics, literature and history with learning about the USA, a country which has always fascinated me. America has a relatively short history yet it has come to dominate the world and become a part of our everyday lives. I am particularly interested in the interdisciplinary nature of the American Studies course: at how history and culture can be reflected in literature and political views. I am interested in seeing how American literature portrays a land of such diverse cultures and rich history. I am also looking forward to expanding my knowledge of America’s past and present, and exploring the lifestyles and views of the many cultures that populate it. I am currently studying History, Film Studies and English Literature. These subjects have given me more insight into the history, culture and unique national character of America. In A-level History, I have studied America from the War of Independence to the First World War, focusing on America’s growth to become one of the foremost political powers in the world, and how it became such a diverse nation. I have also become interested in the Civil Rights Movement, from which I have learnt the great power of Martin Luther King and the effect he still has on people to this day. In A-level Film Studies, I have analysed American media and film, and studied the “Golden Age” of Hollywood and the studio system with the film giants such as MGM. I have also been able to look at modern culture through the film Bridesmaids and how important historical events are shown through film, such as the American Civil War in Cold Mountain, and the effects of the Civil War on women in Little Women. Studying English literature has allowed me to develop my essay writing skills, has taught me to read and research around core texts, and has encouraged me to give detailed evaluations. I currently have a part-time job in a restaurant, which allows me to interact with new people and learn the all-important ‘people skills’, as well as organise my hours around college. I have also done work experience in a primary school. I enjoy working with young children and plan to participate in ‘Camp America’ during the university vacations. I enjoy team sports, playing volleyball regularly and captaining the school hockey team until I was 15. Sport offers me the opportunity to interact with others in a competitive environment as well as keeping up my fitness, which is important to me. I hope to participate in sports at university. I enjoy photography and was selected as the main photographer for our college magazine and website, which is a big responsibility, involving creativity, communication and working to a deadline. I feel that I am a hardworking student with a great work ethic. I work through the challenges life throws at me with determination and cheer. I live life to the full with the motivation to do well in everything I do. I am looking forward to the independence of university life and the varied opportunities it has to offer, both academic and extra-curricular. I hope to extend my knowledge of American history, literature, film and contemporary society, and look forward to the opportunity to study this fascinating subject at university. Strengths n This student explains how they became interested in American Studies based on their prior academic study and research, which backs up their enthusiasm and shows a well-researched choice. When applying for a multidisciplinary degree, it is important to explain why it is appropriate to your skills and interests. n It is beneficial to show how your A-level studies have influenced your choice of course. Be sure to refer to why the study of the United States is of interest to you. Weaknesses n The student opens with a quote but it is not clear what relevance this has to the statement as a whole. Always refer back to points you have previously made and make sure any quotes are relevant. n It is better to talk about more recent activities than a hockey team that you no longer captain. Top tip from an Essex admissions selector “If you are applying for a degree that includes a period of study abroad, be sure to discuss how and why this appeals to you. This is an important and idiosyncratic part of your chosen degree!” page 7 Biology and related courses My interest in biology stems from my childhood, when I kept tadpoles and watched some of them grow into frogs, and saw how so many did not survive, as is often the way in nature. I have always enjoyed learning about science, as I can see how applicable the knowledge is to the real world and how scientific research means that humans are always finding new ways to solve problems. I have a great interest in science in current affairs, for example I was fascinated by the ecological difficulties following the Costa Concordia disaster and the challenges in salvaging the shipwreck while also protecting and conserving the sea bed and marine life around it. I have chosen a biological sciences course as it seems to best fit my interests. I am particularly interested in human biology; I enjoy topics like cell biology, disease and anatomy. I like learning about how the body works including the processes like digestion and circulation, and the functions of complex organs such as the heart and lungs. My AS-level Biology teacher has been an inspiration to me as she has a huge enthusiasm for the subject and a unique way of explaining theories and broadening our knowledge. As a result, I have a strong interest in studying biology at a higher level and am looking forward to exploring the subject in more depth. I have been able to extend my understanding by linking Biology to topics from the other subjects that I study. Chemistry has been particularly helpful, as it is inherent in biology, allowing me to gain a better understanding of both subjects. Geography has expanded my interest in the formation of the world, incorporating animals, humans and all the interactions between these elements. In addition to these subjects, I have also taken AS-level Critical Thinking, which has given me a totally different, but equally important and relevant, style of learning. I have experienced a variety of teaching approaches which have enabled me to broaden my interests even further. I have particularly enjoyed the field trips in geography and biology, and look forward to participating in more hands-on learning at university. Playing an active role in my sixth form committee, I have been instrumental in making important decisions on the running of the sixth form, and have also become a trusted assistant to staff during page 8 events. I am regularly asked to give tours of the school to new teachers and pupils, and have also been involved in their interviews and selection; I felt proud to be given this responsibility. The committee also organises the Sixth Form Prom every year which can be stressful as it is an important event and has to be well-run, enjoyed by all and delivered on budget. These activities show I can cope with positions of responsibility, work well in a team and am not afraid of a challenge. These are skills I am sure will enhance my biology studies and also demonstrate a willingness to get involved in student life at university. I grew up in Dorset, and this beautiful part of the world has many rural paths ideal for walking and cycling. I now know these routes well and, due to my growing knowledge of Biology, I can now apply my knowledge to the countryside I am so familiar with, helping to reinforce my understanding of the world around us. I now feel ready to discover a new part of the UK and am looking forward to the challenge of moving away from home and gaining more independence. These reasons, alongside my Duke of Edinburgh Gold Award, explain why I am looking forward to going to university and particularly to studying Biology. Strengths n This student relates academic and extra-curricular activities back to the study of biology, which is effective. n It is useful to explain what skills you have gained from your activities and apply them to the course you have chosen, as this applicant does. Weaknesses n The Duke of Edinburgh Award is just mentioned in passing and too briefly to contribute anything else to this personal statement. n Sometimes the word ‘biology’ is capitalized and sometimes it is not. It is best to aim for consistency in your grammar. Top tip from an Essex admissions selector “Statements that lack detail can appear manufactured and insincere. Try to mention topics that you have a particular interest in studying.” Biomedical Science I have chosen this course as it will help me learn about biomedicine and will give me transferable skills which I can apply to any career. I have done a lot of research into my university choices and the modules available look fascinating. I am really looking forward to learning about this course in more detail. I have a very positive attitude towards my studies and always try to approach them with enthusiasm and commitment. I am a hardworking and reliable individual and have been described as a conscientious student. My strong interest in science inspired me to gain some work experience at Addenbrookes Hospital and at the pharmaceutical company Pfizer. While at Addenbrookes I worked in the physiotherapy department and on the general ward, which improved my skills in communication and gave me an insight into working in a hospital environment. At Pfizer I worked in the Pharmokinetics department and carried out several experiments including monitoring the effects of ibuprofen on the brain. I was very inspired by the knowledgeable and experienced staff I met, and my lab skills also improved, which I feel will help me at university. Although I appreciated both my work experiences, I particularly enjoyed working at Pfizer and I am now considering a career in laboratory research. I have really enjoyed my A-levels in Biology, Chemistry and Geography. I have found that my main interests are in the immune system and chemical reactions which occur in the body, and the effects certain chemicals have on people. As a lifelong hay fever sufferer, I have also been interested to learn about the drugs used to prevent and cure allergic reactions, particularly the creation and development of antihistamines, and this is something I am looking forward to exploring further. On a personal level, I play netball on a weekly basis and have belonged to both my school team and one of my local town teams, where we won the local league last season. Through my participation in sport, I have learned to be an effective team player. Participating on cold rainy nights has also taught me the importance of self-discipline and of honouring commitments. I have also undertaken work experience with my local hospice as well as at a newsagent, allowing me to develop my existing interpersonal skills and my ability to relate to all ages and all walks of life. My work in the newsagent developed from a paper round which I started doing aged 13. As my managers were impressed with my hard work and dedication, I was invited to work behind the counter two years later and have been working every Saturday since. This summer, I was lucky enough to be selected as a Games Maker for the London 2012 Olympics and Paralympics. I am very proud of this and enjoyed the new challenges involved. After finishing university I would like to embark on a career in laboratory research, with the aim of uncovering new knowledge and developing it to help make the world a better place. A course in biomedical science is ideally suited to help me achieve this and will cement my current knowledge and experience to help me reach my career aims. I am looking forward to undertaking more lab work and working with my fellow students. I understand that university life will be challenging, but I am really looking forward to the experience and am confident that it will give me the knowledge and skills I need to reach my potential. Strengths n This personal statement is very enthusiastic and displays a clear understanding of how the knowledge learned in the course can be applied in a career. n The applicant has used their work experience to reinforce their course choice, which strengthens their application. Weaknesses n The opening line does not grab the reader’s attention – it would be more effective if it was a little more punchy. n The student could have given more information about their A-level study, particularly as these subjects are very relevant to the degree course choice. Top tip from an Essex admissions selector “Remember to talk about why you want to study the subject!” page 9 Business Management My ambition in life has always been to succeed in business, so I am keen to study a degree that will help me learn how businesses work in order to achieve my goals. In the twenty-first century, there are so many competing forces in the world, and the business world is constantly changing. I find this challenging and exciting, so look forward to studying this subject further at university. At school, I am studying A-levels in Economics and in Politics, which have both given me an understanding of the wider world. Within my A-level Economics, I appreciate our focus on different models but particularly enjoy seeing how they are interpreted in the real world. My A-level Politics has also taught me the importance of keeping up-to-date with current affairs, to further my understanding of the subject area. I read The Economist each week, to see the theories that I study in class in action and now, when watching the news on television or online, I find I have a better understanding of the impact economics and politics have on all our lives. I am also studying A-level German, which has been a great benefit to me as I am keen to live and work abroad, so this course has helped with this ambition, by broadening my horizons in terms of future job prospects. It has also given me an opportunity to learn more about economic and cultural influences in Europe. I am also undertaking an Extended Project looking at corporate social responsibility (CSR). I am looking at how businesses have an increasing ethical responsibility toward the people their actions effect, which is an exciting and dynamic topic. I feel that the skills of independent learning and research, which I am developing through my Extended Project, will be essential for university. Last August I took part in a two-week summer school at a local university. Going on a tour with a current student made me realise that I wish to study at a campus-based university, so I can take part in extra-curricular activities, such as joining clubs and societies. While in the sixth form, I have taken part in debates as part of my school’s debating society and participated in an Insight into Management course. I was given the role of managing director, which was both exciting and challenging but gave me a good page 10 experience of leading a team and an understanding of management. I look forward to studying a business degree at university. I know that this subject will be hard work but also rewarding as it fits closely with my future career ambitions and will help me move closer to a successful career in industry. Strengths n It is good to talk about your Extended Project, and the skills and knowledge this has given you. n Mentioning research into universities shows you are dedicated and focused. Weaknesses n The summer school the student attended could have been relevant and expanded upon. Always give details about specific experiences like this. n If you mention your preference is for campus-based universities, then ensure all the universities you are applying for provide campuses! Top tip from an Essex admissions selector “Admissions selectors for business schools will want to hear about your personal qualities and strengths, including leadership, communications and initiative.” Computer Science and related courses Ever since I got my first computer as a child, I have been fascinated by computers and how they work. I am especially interested in how to program them and have self-taught myself the basics of many programming languages such as html and php for websites. Computers have always been a hobby for me but now I want to turn this into a professional and rewarding career. I am keen to work in the games industry or in a programming role using the skills that I know I will gain at university. At college, I am taking A-levels in History, Further Mathematics and Computing, so am building skills that I will be able to use at university and in any future career. For example, in my History classes, historical sources are vital when researching a historical period, so I have to analyse texts in a critical and thoughtful manner. My A-level Further Mathematics has given me a good grounding in algorithms and logic, which are pivotal in the study of computer science. This course has also given me valuable skills in logical thinking and problem solving. However my A-level Computing has given me a strong foundation on which to extend my computing knowledge at university. I have particularly enjoyed looking at technological advances in products like laptops, iPhones and other portable devices. I find the ways these devices influence our day-to-day lives, and how it is continually changing, to be fascinating. I am excited about being part of, and fully understanding, this ever evolving technology. quite extensively as an adult,” as I also love to read science fiction books. At university I am looking forward to expanding my knowledge of computers and ICT. Strengths n The personal statement opens with an excellent summary of what prompted initial interest in the subject. This also shows their enthusiasm for the subject, which admissions selectors like to read about. n The student demonstrates that their interest in the subject goes beyond the classroom, which will strengthen the application. Weaknesses n Quotes are good but keep them short and only use them if they are relevant to your application. n The closing paragraph is very short and abrupt. Remember to make use of this last chance to impress the admissions selector. Top tip from an Essex admissions selector “It is important to show that you enjoy the subject. Many applicants demonstrate this by talking about how they started using computers, what they enjoyed about that and why they now want to study this at university. This is a great signal that someone knows what they are applying for and comes across very naturally in a personal statement.” I have a part-time job working in a busy Apple repair shop. I have to interact with many different customers, which has developed my social and communication skills. As part of this role, I need to have an excellent working knowledge of all computer applications, as well as components and hardware, and help full-time staff in diagnosing faults with computers. This further knowledge will benefit my future studies and the practical side of studying computer science at university, working on individual and group projects, is something I am really looking forward to. When I am not studying or working, I like to watch The Simpsons and agree with creator Matt Groening who said “I’ve loved science fiction ever since I was a little kid, mainly from looking at the covers of science-fiction magazines and books, and I’ve read page 11 Drama and Theatre My passion has always been drama, so continuing with this subject at degree level would be a fantastic opportunity to study something I enjoy, while learning more about the subject. I am also keen to take on opportunities outside of my studies to develop my performance skills. I look forward to joining theatre societies at university, and to getting involved in theatre productions as a student. For my A-levels, I chose subjects which I believe will help me in studying drama at university. While my A-level Drama and Theatre Studies has given me performance skills and knowledge of different practitioners, I have also learnt how to work with other actors and to appreciate different points of view in order to understand and create a successful play. As well as performing on stage, I have taken backstage roles such as set design, providing props and being director for one end-of-term production, which have been thoroughly enjoyable experiences. Alongside this, my A-level English Literature has vastly improved my writing skills and I have welcomed the opportunity to work on original scripts based around different topics such as Alice in Wonderland. It has also been a great way to study different plays, including A Streetcar Named Desire, A Doll’s House, Billy Liar and Macbeth, which are all vastly different. As part of this A-level, I particularly enjoy our class discussions about different playwrights and topics related to their work, such as dependence on men shown by both Blanche and Stella in A Streetcar Named Desire or deception in A Doll’s House. My A-level Psychology has provided an academic challenge but the subject matter, particularly the focus on human behaviour and the mind, has made it an interesting course, while helping to further improve my essay writing, and giving me the knowledge to understand and explain the behaviour of characters in literary works that I am studying for my other A-levels. At school I have performed in our annual Shakespeare festivals and Christmas productions. At the last Shakespeare festival, I directed an all-female version of Macbeth, which was a valuable experience of working from a script and gave me an insight into drama beyond the remit of my school curriculum. page 12 I also enjoy going to the theatre, so have gone on trips with my school and in my own time to see a variety of performances. I was able to get tickets to see Danny Boyle’s Frankenstein at the National, and particularly enjoyed watching this well known book be performed on stage. In our modern society, where so much pressure is put on physical perfection, I found this production (and the treatment that the Creature received from others, because of his appearance) to be extremely poignant and moving. Studying drama at university would enable me to continue my passion and ensure it is more than just a hobby. I am excited about the future prospect of working with people who have the same passion for drama and the theatre as I do. I would embrace the opportunity to study this course and hope you will consider me for a place at your university. Strengths n Showing enthusiasm about joining clubs or societies at university will impress; universities like students who get involved. n The personal statement shows awareness of different elements of drama beyond acting. Weaknesses n The statement is very narrow and focused on drama; it is good to show that you have interests outside of your subject area. n The final sentence is addressed directly to the admissions tutor, which is not advisable. The personal statement is not a letter. Top tip from an Essex admissions selector “It is important to remember that a drama degree is not actor training and performance will be only one aspect of your studies. Ensure you include evidence of an engagement with the relationship between the theoretical and the practical - for instance, by discussing practitioners or playwrights. Try to include specific information about theatre that you have seen, outlining how a particular production has affected you.” Economics Economic issues influence our lives everyday. Economics is about more than just a recession, the inflation or exchange rates, it is also about how our choices, such as consuming goods or introducing a new policy, affect us. As economics is so important to everyone, I wish to further my knowledge in this area by studying the subject further at university. Studying A-level Economics has given me the opportunity to develop my prime interest. However, by also studying A-level History, I have seen how many macroeconomic issues overlap with historical events, such as the economic boom of the 1920s when the USA expanded ‘hire and purchase’ broadly, so everyone could purchase their own luxury items. This then led to the Wall Street crash in 1929 when poorer families had trouble with repayment and similarities can be seen in recent years in Europe. All my A-levels, as I am also studying A-level Sociology, have given me new skills, like the ability to be an independent learner, to undertake my own research and to evaluate sources. These are all skills I will use further at university. As additional work to complement my A-levels, I am currently reading The Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith, to improve my understanding of the origins of economics, and Freakconomics by Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner, which shows how relevant economics is to everyday life. I also subscribe to The Economist to keep up-todate with current affairs. I am particularly interested in the current economic crisis in Europe and would like to study this further at university. Strengths n The student succeeds in conveying enthusiasm for the subject. n The strong involvement in a local youth centre shows dedication and commitment. Weaknesses n Attention must be made to style. The second paragraph is far too long and could have been broken down into at least three separate ones. n The student doesn’t elaborate on the current economic crisis in Europe, which slightly undermines their claim that they keep up-to-date with current affairs. Top tip from an Essex admissions selector “Your personal statement should demonstrate your interest, potential ability and understanding of economics.” Outside of college I volunteer at my local youth centre twice a week. I have done this for three years, so am one of the experienced volunteers and often lead other volunteers when they first join our team. My role involves organising, running and evaluating sessions and activities for year 8 pupils, which has improved my communication and leadership skills, and helped me learn how to work well with other people. I look forward to studying economics at university, as it is a subject that has a relevance to everyday life, affects everyone and impacts virtually every aspect of our lives. page 13 English Language and Linguistics I have always been interested in English language, as it is such a vital component of human nature that allows us to communicate with each other. I would like to study English language and linguistics at university as I find it interesting to debate the different questions that language raises, like how we acquire language, are we all born with an innate ability or is it dependent on our process of learning? My interest in English language has grown by studying it further at A-level. I have found it particularly interesting to learn about different accents across the UK, and how accents can differ from each other, even in neighbouring towns. I have also enjoyed integrating linguistic concepts and theories into my arguments, displaying awareness towards the importance of critiques. My other A-levels, in English Literature and in Geography, are also very interesting. A key part of my English literature study has been our interesting classroom discussions, which helped develop my interpretation and personal opinion of different texts. For my A-level Geography, we have covered a range of human and physical topics, and included a geographical skills trip to Snowdonia, which helped me learn to work as part of a team when collecting data for our assignment. I am also working on an Extended Project. I have found all my A-level subjects have required I complete coursework to given deadlines, and have improved my essay writing ability and time management. These are valuable skills that will be necessary for my studies in the future. Outside of college, I play the cello to grade 7 level and perform in a youth orchestra. To maintain this high standard requires commitment and dedication but performing in concerts, often to hundreds of people, has given me increased confidence. I would definitely be interested in joining a university orchestra. I have always wanted to become a journalist, so spend a lot of my time penning stories to improve and further my writing abilities. I have undertaken work experience at my local newspaper, where I was given the opportunity to publish articles on forthcoming charity events in the local area. My time at the paper page 14 allowed me to display a range of writing techniques. At college, I also write for my student newspaper and am looking forward to continuing this at university. There are many benefits to studying a subject you enjoy at university-level, and I look forward to studying further in order to achieve my lifelong ambition of becoming a journalist. Strengths n The student has put a lot of thought into their long-term career goal. Although this is not essential, and not always possible, it does demonstrate focused thought. n The student draws attention to skills developed through their studies and hobbies, which works well as these are skills they will use at university. Weaknesses n The student has over-used the word ‘interest’ in the first three paragraphs. It is essential, especially for a subject like English language, to demonstrate a wide vocabulary. n More could be said about the Extended Project, especially if this is relevant to the chosen degree course. Top tip from an Essex admissions selector “Remember to show yourself as a rounded and enquiring student!” Entrepreneurship and related courses I am applying to study marketing at university, as I am very interested in studying how businesses promote and market themselves to a wider audience. This interest has grown since last summer, when I undertook work experience at a media sales company, so worked with advisors selling advertising for two daily newspapers and a further portfolio of magazines. This was a fantastic experience as it involved meeting with other media agencies and seeing how advertising schedules are arranged. I also got to work with the team on a proposal for a particular advertising campaign, which offered me an opportunity to learn valuable skills in analysis, planning and creative thought. This marketing experience gave me the confidence to feel able to set up and run my own event at college, when I worked with a small group of students to organise a Christmas disco. As well as planning the event, we used marketing activities such as posters and creation of a colourful website to promote tickets and encourage sales. This exercise built my teamwork skills and organisation. The event was a great success, as well as very enjoyable for everyone involved. I am keen to extend my knowledge of marketing and business substantially through university study. I know that I will thoroughly enjoy my course and that it will open the doors for me to a career in marketing. Strengths n The student makes good use of work experience, voluntary work and other activities to demonstrate relevant skills. n The overall feel of the personal statement is very enthusiastic. Weaknesses n ‘I socialise with friends’ is too vague and will not impress an admissions tutor. This does not add value to your application. n The student writes explicitly about their personality. It would be better to illustrate your personality through your interests and activities, and give examples, rather than just describing yourself as a ‘people person’. Top tip from an Essex admissions selector “Write in a positive and interesting way as this will capture the attention of an admissions selector.” I am currently studying for my BTEC National Extended Diploma in business studies and general studies. I am really enjoying business studies and have learnt a lot of new skills, such as how to manage my time and work to deadlines. My recent coursework project looked at brand management, as I analysed the creation of more recent brands, such as Innocent drinks, and how the development of Facebook and Twitter can help (or hinder!) brand awareness. Outside of college, I volunteer in a local charity shop. I am a popular member of the team and frequently described by colleagues as a ‘people person’ due to my bubbly nature. As part of this role, I have had to use my creativity and business knowledge to set up visual merchandise displays to promote our products in order to increase sales for the charity. In addition to my academic studies, I socialise with my friends. I like to keep fit, so play football and cricket for a local club. I am also a strong skier and look forward to continuing with these hobbies while studying at university. page 15 European Studies and Politics (example of a joint degree application) I am extreemely passionate about politics, foreign languages and travel, meaning a degree that allows me to combine these topics is perfect. I am especially interested in learning more about countries in Europe and keep up-to-date with currant affairs and the latest news via broadsheet newspapers and the internet. In addition, the opportunity to spend a year abroad in France or Spain as part of my university studies is very appealing. I have already spent time abroad on exchange trips with my school, and found these to be very rewarding and worthwhile experiences. At school, I study Politics, French and Spanish. Within my A-level Politics, I relish the opportunity to discuss and debate different topics, which has given me a good experience of taking part in discussions and confidence in expressing my opinion. I am particularly interested in foreign and international politics, and have recently produced coursework on activities relating to the EU and the present crisis concerning the Euro. As part of my A-level Spanish, I have really enjoyed the cultural aspects of the course, which have given me a greater understanding about the country and its people. This includes looking at literature and films from Spain, to understand the complexities of Spanish grammar and analyse these works further. One of my favourite directors is Pedro Almodovar, as I particularly enjoy the black comedy in his many movies. Outside of school, I am a keen member of a local political party, so try to get involved whenever I can. This includes helping out at the recent election, where I felt as though I had made a real difference and got to meet different politicians. This was a valuable and useful experience, which helped build my knowledge and understanding of our national political system. For the last two years, I have had a part-time job in Tesco, working with a number of different colleagues. My hard working attitude and commitment has been noted by my line manager. I am happy working as part of a team or independently in this busy environment, which has greatly improved my communication skills and allowed me to learn to manage my time efficiently. page 16 My enthusiasm for politics and languages, plus my desire to travel the world and explore different places, make this course very attractive to me. In the future, I aspire to work as a language specialist, possibly for the EU in Brussels or in the Intelligence Service, so this course will help me succeed in this ambition. Strengths n This student conveys a passion for European Studies and Politics well. n The student mentions the year abroad and where she would like to go. It is good to show that you are thinking ahead. Weaknesses n n Silly spelling mistakes look sloppy. It is a shame the student does not talk about their A-level French. It is relevant to the chosen course and some emphasis on language skills would strengthen the statement, particularly as the student is thinking of spending a year abroad in France. Top tip from an Essex admissions selector “Make sure you talk about qualities which show you are suitable to both aspects of your chosen joint degree.” Film Studies I am currently studying for my A-levels in English Literature, Theatre Studies and Film Studies. I am also preparing an Extended Project, creating a short film inspired by the work of Orson Welles. I chose to study A-level English Literature because I have always enjoyed reading and welcome the opportunity that this course has given me to study a variety of new and challenging texts, as well as building my skills in essay writing and critical analysis. My A-level Theatre Studies lets me undertake a practical element, which I have greatly enjoyed, and has increased my confidence at public speaking and performing in front of an audience. However I am most enjoying A-level Film Studies, as it has helped me appreciate the art of film-making, and truly understand the effort, creativity and thought that goes into each film. This is why I wish to do a degree in film studies. As part of my A-level Film Studies, I have enjoyed looking at novels that have been made into films and how successful this transition has been. For example, the disjointed relationship between the central characters in David Nicholls’ One Day works well in a book but I was disappointed with the film version, as I did not feel it created the same empathy for the characters. In contrast, Joe Wright’s adaptation of Atonement cleverly balanced the viewpoints in the novel, with the tense wartime setting creating an emotional and atmospheric film. My latest piece of coursework has looked at various film techniques, and how these can create a different atmosphere for the audience. I looked at films such as Darren Aronofsky’s Black Swan, as I appreciated how the handheld camera was used to closely follow Natalie Portman, making it seem as if she’s being pushed into the dance studio and has no choice but to perform. To contrast this, I also analysed the Dunkirk scene in Atonement, where the director uses no music and just a single shot to recreate the bleak World War II setting. In my spare time, I enjoy reading and writing, and recently started a blog where I give my opinions on the latest films, books and music. I find that I often write about the band Muse, who are one of my favourite groups and have received a lot of publicity recently, as they performed the official song for the London 2012 Olympics and took part in the impressive closing ceremony, which I greatly enjoyed. I also subscribe to Empire magazine to keep up-to-date with current film as, and visit the cinema regularly. I belong to a local film club which has enabled me to view independent films. As editor of my school magazine, I write and organise the publication to meet given deadlines, which has greatly improved my organisation skills and will be essential for future life. I would like a career in film journalism so have always wanted to go to university to enhance my skills and achieve this career goal. I look forward to increasing my knowledge and appreciation of film at university-level. Strengths n The student is very focused towards film studies, using enthusiastic and positive language when writing about the subject. n It is good to give an example of relevant work carried out at A-level, such as the coursework on film techniques. Weaknesses n The student could have said more about their Extended Project which is very relevant to the chosen degree. n The student goes off on a tangent when talking about the band Muse; this part of the personal statement could have been shortened to make room for more about the Extended Project. Top tip from an Essex admissions selector “Everybody more or less knows whether or not they like a film, so an application that shows you have thought a little more deeply about how films are produced, what can be achieved with the medium, and why certain films achieve critical or popular acclaim in a given context, will always stand out from the crowd.” page 17 History My fascination with studying the past, looking at how events have influenced and shaped the world we now live in, and delving into periods of time from different viewpoints, has made me want to study history at university. My GCSE and A-level study has greatly improved my understanding of history, with a particular focus on war in the twentieth-century. Visiting the battlefields of Ypres and the Somme allowed me to put the dates and facts I learned in my classes into context, as well as consider the people involved, particularly when taking an emotional trip to view the massive cemeteries there. I returned to the classroom with an increased interest in studying history from the perspective of different individuals, such as the foot soldier or the civilians waiting anxiously at home. I am looking forward to furthering my knowledge of this at university, as well as looking at new topics such as American history, to understand how the USA has become such a super power. Studying A-level History has given me many useful skills, like being able to write and research independently, and analyse different sources of information. My other A-levels, in Politics and in English Literature, are also relevant, as they involve analysing work and producing essays that express my ideas clearly. I am looking forward to putting these skills into practice at university, as well as improving and adding to these abilities. Last summer, I was part of a volunteer group that visited west Africa for five weeks. I am also a keen badminton player and have been a member of my local club for five years, working up from the junior ranks to represent my club in tournaments. I now also coach the juniors, which has been a valuable experience and allowed me to share my enjoyment for badminton. I am looking forward to continuing with badminton at university. I am confident that I will do well studying history at university, and that this experience will prepare me well for a wide range of future career options. page 18 Strengths n The student’s comments about visiting the battlefields shows their enthusiasm for the subject, which is very important! n The student also shows they have given thought to other aspects of history (eg American history) that they would like to explore at university, which shows they are forward-thinking and enthusiastic. Weaknesses n There is over-use of the phrase “I am looking forward to”. n This personal statement is a little short and some parts could have been elaborated on, such as the student’s trip to Africa or any voluntary work that they’d like to do at university. Top tip from an Essex admissions selector “Why not add a sentence about what you like reading or have read recently, even if it is fiction or not related to the subject that you are applying for? Any arts student will have to do a great deal of reading at university, so showing some enthusiasm for this at application stage doesn’t go amiss!” History of Art I have always been fascinated with art and enjoy visiting galleries in the UK and abroad. Seeing the impact that art can have on other people has made me want to delve deeper into the subject. I am passionate about studying history of art at university, in order to gain a higher academic understanding and because of my personal enjoyment of the subject. I like looking at the history and progression of art in all its forms: from the first known works of art such as the Mammoth carving in Europe, to 1960s pop culture. By delving deeper into art, I want to know why it was created, its political, social and religious context, and what it meant to society at the time. In addition, I have a particular interest in the impact religion has had on architecture and art, for instance the decoration of Catholic churches of Renaissance Italy and Michelangelo’s intricately painted ceiling in the Sistine Chapel, which depicts episodes like the creation of the world and the fall of man. Artists who have had a strong influence on me include Michelangelo, Botticelli and Salvador Dali. While on a gap year in Spain, I was able to visit the amazing Salvador Dali museum, as well as Museo del Prado and Parc Guell. Being able to witness these works of art against the backdrop of their home country really allowed my studies to come to life. I believe my A-level subjects of History, Philosophy and Ethics, and Classical Civilisation all provide me with me a wealth of relevant background knowledge and experience for the study of history of art. For example, I have found studying classical literature and seeing how it has inspired artists over the ages to be fascinating. I particularly enjoyed seeing how the legend of Romulus and Remus has inspired pieces like the Capitoline Wolf, a bronze sculpture in the Museo Nuovo in Rome, and the painting, Romulus and Remus, by Peter Paul Rubens. Outside of my studies, I have played the flute since I was a young child and now perform in a youth orchestra which has given me confidence in performing in front of large audiences. I also have a part-time job as a Saturday girl in Debenhams, which has helped me develop valuable personal qualities such as practicality and confidence. I have also been able to use my creative side by helping my manager to plan window displays, in order to better promote clothing and household items that are on sale. Upon gaining my degree, a role in art restoration or curation interests me. However, history of art is such a wide ranging vocational subject, that I know it will provide me with access to a broad range of careers. Most importantly, studying history of art at university-level will give me an opportunity to study something I am passionate about, and I am very much looking forward to this. Strengths n The student demonstrates personal initiative and an understanding of the vocational nature of her subject. n Referring to works of art displays a keen eye for detail and a love of the subject, which is important for applicants. n The student effectively links her creative skills to her experience in her part-time job. Weaknesses n It may have been useful to add more detail about the gap year. n Describing her part-time job as a ‘Saturday girl’ could be changed; professional language such as ‘sales assistant’ would have more impact. Top tip from an Essex admissions selector “Do talk about extra-curricular activities and interests that are related to history of art, such as visiting art galleries.” In addition, my interest in my A-level subjects mean I have been encouraged by my tutors to read around my A-level topics, in order to develop extensive background knowledge. I feel my A-levels have given me valuable skills, such as the ability to consider all aspects of an argument, being able construct my own argument in a clear form, good communication and attention to detail. These are abilities I can use when studying my degree, and in my life beyond university. page 19 Humanities I decided to apply for humanities shortly after starting my IB, when I found I was enjoying the opportunity to study a variety of diverse courses. This experience of my IB led me to decide that a flexible degree in humanities, that will allow me to study literature, history, philosophy and politics, as well as other subjects like art history, was hugely appealing. As part of my IB, I studied American and Modern History, but I would welcome the opportunity to extend my historical knowledge across different cultures and periods as part of a humanities degree. Indeed, I enjoy living in a multicultural society and my IB classes often involved challenging debates, which helped me learn to engage confidently, and from a well-informed viewpoint, in a well thought out and productive manner. I look forward to working with students from different cultural backgrounds at university. Since completing my IB, I have undertaken a gap year. I spent the first six months of my gap year working in a call centre, which gave me skills that I can use when studying for my degree, as I found call centre work requires you to be incredibly self-motivated and disciplined. As part of this job, I had to adhere to strict deadlines, while working under immense pressure, and develop good listening skills when dealing with different clients. This also improved my communication skills and my overall confidence. The last months of my gap year were spent travelling around South America independently. This was a fantastic cultural experience and a real awakening to a dramatically different way of life. This experience means I would welcome the opportunity to travel again as part of my degree, through a study abroad programme at university. Since returning from my gap year, I have been volunteering at a local museum, on a project cataloguing eighteenth-century legal papers. This has been a rewarding and interesting experience, which has improved my attention to detail and deepened my understanding of this particular period of history. My studies and personal experiences have ensured I am looking forward to the challenges that studying at university-level requires. By completing a degree in page 20 humanities, I hope to further my personal development and enjoyment of different subjects, as well as open doors to many new and exciting career opportunities. Strengths n The student gives details of what they have been doing since leaving school, which is essential if applying during your gap year. n The work experience and volunteer experience is well presented and relevant. Weaknesses n The student could have given more information about their IB studies, highlighting what courses were involved, for example. n Although this personal statement is relevant for a humanities course at Essex, it may not fit humanities courses at other universities. It is important to ensure your personal statement is relevant to all your career choices. Top tip from an Essex admissions selector “Demonstrate your enthusiasm for the subject humanities allows you to get your teeth into many different areas of study!” Latin American Studies My name is Evita Peron and I am 17 years old. I have always been interested in the rich culture and heritage of Latin American, so am applying for Latin American Studies at university. I am eager to learn more about the people, language, literature, music and, crucially, the development of this beautiful region. One reason that I have chosen to study Latin America is because I believe strongly that Latin America is becoming a member of the global community. I closely follow news and current affairs for the region, so have seen the transformation it has undergone in the last ten years, especially in Brazil, Mexico and Chile. I intend to take a gap year before starting university, where I will spend the year in Latin America and will be volunteering with Projects Abroad as part of a sea turtle and coastal conservation project. As well as improving my Spanish, and undertaking valuable voluntary work, I will also have some time to explore the region. This time abroad will enhance my study of Latin America at university. At college, I am studying literature, sociology and psychology. My A-level Literature has given me skills in critical thinking and essay writing, while my A-level Sociology has provided a greater awareness of how societies operate. For example, in Central and South American countries, society norms can be quite traditional and family-based, so A-level Sociology has allowed me to study the development, structure and functioning of human society, as well as its social problems, and I feel able to use this knowledge to study further aspects of Latin American society at degree-level. In my A-level Sociology lessons I particularly enjoy debating topics, as it gives me a chance to express myself and put forward my ideas and opinions. In addition, I chose A-level Psychology as it gives me an insight into the human mind, which will further benefit my future studies at university-level. As well as wishing to broaden my knowledge of cultural aspects of Latin America at university, I have a strong motivation to improve my language skills. I believe that studying Spanish as part of my degree will be enjoyable and afford me many different opportunities in the world of work. My ideal future career would be working for the UN, as I believe strongly in the type of work undertaken by this organisation, especially relating to human rights, global development and peace-keeping. I would love to work on human rights and development in South America, as part of the UN, so I believe this course will equip me with the knowledge that I need. It will help me to achieve my career goals and I cannot imagine a course that is more suited to my skills, my passion and what I want for my future. Strengths n The gap year is very relevant and the student expresses how it will enhance their future studies. For many subjects (like Latin American Studies) such a gap year can strengthen your application. n The student shows an interest in current affairs, which is good. Weaknesses n The first sentence, in which the student states her name and age, is irrelevant. You provide your name and age elsewhere in your UCAS form. n The student does not talk about what she does outside of college. Not mentioning any interests beyond your studies implies you don’t have any! Top tip from an Essex admissions selector “Ensure your personal statement demonstrates your enthusiasm for the region.” My time at college has given me so many skills that I look forward to using at university, especially the ability to work independently, debate with my peers, undertake research, work in groups or teams, and meet given deadlines. page 21 Law and Human Rights I have always been fascenated with law, as it has the power to make everyone in a given society equal, since they must follow the same rules regardless of their gender, class, race or background. I believe a legal career would be a great opportunity to work with different people, to understand their problems and try to improve their different situations. My interest in the law means I keep up-to-date with current affairs, particularly around legal developments. For example, I closely followed the trial of Vincent Tabak, who was eventually found guilty of the murder of Joanna Yates. What interested me about this particular case was that, in order to ensure a fair trial, information that Tabak owned violent images was withheld from the Court and media. This meant the jury based their guilty verdict solely on evidence that was relevant for the particular case. To further prepare myself for a law degree, I have undertaken work experience with a barristers’ chamber, which proved very valuable. I was able to observe cases in the High Court, as well as being part of the day-to-day activities. I recently completed a second period of work experience at my local Citizens Advice Bureau. This was a very rewarding opportunity to work with some of the poorest people in the UK, and has increased my concern that recently proposed Legal Aid cuts will affect this group of society and mean they struggle to find legal representation. Both my work experience opportunities, which allowed me to see the legal profession at work firsthand, and observe those who most need help in society, have deepened my commitment to study law at university. I am undertaking essay-based A-levels, which are providing an excellent foundation to a future study of law. My A-level Philosophy and Ethics has given me an opportunity to debate moral issues of increasing complexity, from euthanasia to war. My A-level Business Studies has given me a good grounding in the basics of business law, with a particular focus on patents and copyright, while my A-level Psychology has given me valuable insights into the human condition. page 22 I enjoy debating and am captain of the school debate club, so have represented my school at local and regional competitions. I have good public speaking skills which will help my future career when having to speak up in a courtroom. Outside of my academic studies, I play hockey and relish being part of team, which I think will help when working in law on resolving cases. I also have an interest in human rights so belong to Amnesty International and meet with members of a local Amnesty International group, where we discuss issues such as human trafficking and child poverty. The opportunity to study law at university excites me. I feel very passionate about the subject and am committed to succeed. I thank you for taking the time to consider my application. Strengths n Work experience is something which admissions tutors notice, especially for a competitive degree like law. n Debating experience is also very relevant for this subject area. Weaknesses n A spelling mistake in the first line will not impress! You must proof read carefully. n You do not need to thank admissions tutors at the end of your personal statement – it looks a bit creepy! Top tip from an Essex admissions selector “Remember to consider what is happening in the news. This shows you have an interest in the world around you, particularly if you can begin to identify legal issues and how the law impacts on individuals and on the public.” Literature I am applying to study English literature. As a child, I was always tucked into bed with a story, be it Goldilocks and The Three Bears or an invented tale from my mum’s imagination. Once I could read and write, I was either lost in novels or spending my time writing my own stories. That a book can transport you from a boring afternoon to Enid Blyton’s Magic Faraway Tree has always excited me, so it is no surprise that I love English and wish to study it at university. As part of my A-Level English Literature, I have been introduced to interesting texts, which have taken me on journeys that I could otherwise never experience. I enjoy studying novels, plays and poetry. In fact, in addition to the books I have studied at school, one of my favourite poets is Carol Ann Duffy. I particularly enjoy her collection Rapture, but also admire the feminist stance in a lot of her works, such as The World’s Wife. Out of my A-level subjects, I feel English literature is my strongest, which is down to the keen interest in the subject that I have shown from a young age. Although I have not decided on a definite career aspiration, I know a degree in English covers a range of topics, such as creative writing and language study, so I feel a possibility could be teaching or journalism. Within my A-level English Literature, I have enjoyed studying A Streetcar Named Desire, works by Shakespeare and Tennyson’s poems, which have shown me many different writing styles. My strength in this subject is my ability to write essays fluently, while including detailed knowledge of texts I have studied. However, my broad range of A-level subjects, which include German, Psychology and Art, have given me further strengths, such as learning a language and developing a deeper understanding of the German culture, a different way to express my opinions in creative work in art and a variety of ways of thinking and learning through psychology. I was disappointed not to be Head Girl but my position of Deputy Head Girl has made me a voice for the student body, and given me an experience of a responsible role that I can use later in life. Outside of school, I am very interested in the theatre, so have participated in, and worked on, several productions at my local theatre over the last four years, which has built on my confidence in performing in front of an audience. I have undertaken volunteer work, working with disabled children and young children in medium-sized groups at the theatre, which enabled me to improve my skills in team-building, and in managing and leading groups in a demanding setting. I have always enjoyed netball, so am a member of my local club, as well as playing for my school. Over the years I have competed in competitions, as well as part in a ‘netball marathon’ for a local charity. These activities outside of school have made me realise that, as a student, I want to get fully involved in university life, such as joining a student theatre society or writing for the student newspaper, as well as continuing with netball. I look forward to studying English literature at university-level because the range of genres and authors available to study entices me, and I believe it will be an enjoyable and exciting course that will help me in whatever career path I choose. Strengths n Writing well about texts you are studying demonstrates passion and ability. You should also discuss books discovered outside of your studies, as this shows a real motivation to read. n Referencing other subjects, and how they enhance your engagement with literary texts, is a strength. Remember that literature doesn’t happen in isolation. Weaknesses n The student could have used a better opening sentence. n Try to avoid comments that could be perceived as negative. The student didn’t need to say she was disappointed about not being Head Girl but that it was an honour to be made Deputy Head Girl. Top tip from an Essex admissions selector “Many literature applicants talk about books they liked as a child and, although this is nice (and it is true that people tend to develop a love of reading early in life) you don’t need to start at the beginning! Admissions selectors are interested in how you are developing as a reader, so try to include what you have been reading and thinking about recently.” page 23 Mathematics I find mathematics a fascinating subject, as it is the sole basis on which physical and theoretical theories are made, and provides the proof for all these theories. It intrigues me that, with the right numbers and application, anything can be achieved, like using a mathematical proof to define Sir Isaac Newton’s three laws of motion. My A-level Mathematics has cemented my belief that mathematics is the foundation of modern, everyday life, and that every aspect of mathematics is beneficial in some way. As part of my A-level studies, for example, I have particularly enjoyed looking at how statistics can help with handling data and using it to predict future measurements, like weather forecasting. My A-level Mathematics has helped me look at everyday problems in a more logical way. Last summer I volunteered in a local charity shop and, for the last year, I have held a part-time job in Next. These roles really showed me how mathematics can be applied to simple everyday situations, like money handling and stock control. Since my first year in high school, I have been involved in the UKMT Maths Challenge each year, and received the silver award on many occasions. Last summer I also attended a Maths Summer School. Inside and outside of school, I enjoy working in a team or group as I have good inter-personal skills. I play cricket for my local team and we all work together well, complementing each other’s abilities. I have participated in other sports including basketball, football and athletics. At university I would be interested in taking part in sports, which have not been offered at my school or in my local area. Last year I achieved the Duke of Edinburgh Bronze Award, which demonstrates that I am committed, responsible and hard working. I also play the saxophone to grade 7 level and, at university, would be interested in joining or setting up a jazz society. At university, I am looking forward to expanding my mathematics knowledge in topics like differential equations and statistics, as well as learning new subjects offered at university-level such as cryptography and mathematical finance. page 24 Currently, at school, I am tutoring a year 10 pupil with her GCSE Mathematics. As well as being a rewarding experience for me, I have helped this pupil a great deal and teachers say that I have boosted her confidence in mathematics. This has given me invaluable experience in teaching another person about a subject that I love, as well as helping to develop my organisational skills. This activity has made me consider a future career in teaching. However, I believe mathematics to be an admirable discipline and feel that studying this subject at university can lead to many diverse career paths. I am keen to further develop the depth and range of my mathematical knowledge with this in mind. Strengths n The student demonstrates passion for the subject. Do not sell yourself short, show the admission selectors that you have interest in your chosen field. n The student has given thought to their future, talking about hobbies they would like to try or to set up at university, as well as possible careers. It is always good to be forward-thinking in your personal statement. Weaknesses n More detail could have been given about the UKMT Maths Challenge and Maths Summer School, as these are relevant to the chosen degree. n The student does not mention other A-levels. Although not essential, an interest in other subjects beyond mathematics could be useful, especially if they complement your studies in mathematics (eg A-level Further Maths or Physics). Top tip from an Essex admissions selector “Ensure you relate your qualifications and skills to the field of mathematics.” Modern Languages “A different language is a different vision of life.” This quote, by Italian film director Federico Fellini, has inspired me to study foreign languages, as I know it will be an exciting challenge that will open many doors. Since my first Spanish lesson, I have been fascinated by other languages, meaning a desire to study modern languages at university came naturally. I love being able to communicate with people from around the world, and to also study the culture, society, and history of a country. I am currently studying A-levels in Spanish, French and English Literature. As part of my A-level Spanish, I became fascinated by Guernica, how it’s still a powerful anti-war symbol after eighty years and its significance to the Spanish Civil War and Spanish people. During my exchange trip to Madrid, I thoroughly enjoyed being totally immersed in the culture and language, and being able to use my language skills to their full potential with native speakers. I found being surrounded by a different language and style of living very enriching. As part of my A-level English Literature, I particularly enjoy studying plays and the theatre, so have been to see productions of Hamlet, A Streetcar Named Desire and Warhorse. My A-level studies have increased my confidence in looking at different linguistic styles, including the rhyme used in Spanish playwright Lorca’s Blood Wedding. I’ve also seen productions by Onatti, a company that produce plays in foreign languages. Understanding and interpreting these performances has increased my confidence in my language ability. At sixth form, I attend an after-school French club, so regularly meet with a native speaker provided by my sixth form. This has dramatically improved my ability to express opinions on subjects orally, as well as my accuracy in the spoken language. I look forward to attending, or starting, similar clubs at university. which relate to language study. For example, recently I led a session on useful phrases in French, so taught my Guides ways to greet people, as well as questions such as “Where is the train station?” and “Can I order a coffee?” My session particularly focused on pronunciation, to ensure they were able to say each phrase proficiently. In addition, I am a member of St John Ambulance, which has provided me with opportunities to push myself in a range of situations. This role tests my capabilities and has helped me become an efficient and supportive team member. Such voluntary work has taught me the importance of being well prepared, including undertaking thorough research, giving group-appropriate presentation skills, and the need to self review your work. These are all important skills. I plan to take a gap year before starting university and have been looking at opportunities to teach English abroad to children. I would like to go to a Latin American country, like Brazil or Mexico, to further improve my Spanish language skills before university. By studying modern languages at university, I look forward to broadening my horizons and learning new life skills along the way. Strengths n It is good to show that thought has been given to gap year activities, as this demonstrates determination and good organisation skills. n It is sensible to discuss various A-level topics if they relate closely to the course(s) being applied for. Weaknesses n Make sure you get your facts right – Brazil is a Portuguese-speaking country! Top tip from an Essex admissions selector “Tell us what modern language you would like to study! This is a valuable starting point to develop your statement further, explaining the reasons that made you want to acquire or improve language skills.” I also enjoy listening to foreign music and watching foreign films - Gregoire is one of my favourite French musicians, and I have watched Amelie many times! However, outside of my studies, I take part in a range of activities which allow me to balance my school work with other interests. I volunteer at my local Girl Guides, as a young leader, so help to organise weekly sessions and have been the leader for some activities page 25 Nursing I believe nursing is a fulfilling career with the potential to benefit many people, bring a sense of job satisfaction and make a difference. Since childhood I have enjoyed caring for people and feel I have the patience and determination, as well as the interpersonal skills, for a demanding career which requires interaction with people in stressful situations. My BTEC National Diploma provides a sound basis upon which to develop understanding throughout my degree. During secondary school, I completed a first aid course with St. John’s Ambulance, which first sparked my interest in health care. Since then I have been keen to learn about issues relating to health, such as preventing and treating illnesses, and techniques in caring for patients. I have always been interested in both natural and social sciences, and how factors like the environment affect health care. I purposely chose GCSE, AS-level and BTEC subjects which will help in my career aims and course choice of nursing. For the last year, I have worked in my local hospital as a ward volunteer. I have found this interesting and rewarding, and it has given me a feel for the daily challenges of working in a hospital. I have also learnt the importance of patience when serving the elderly, who are less able to communicate, and developed my interpersonal skills. I am still involved with St John’s Ambulance and occasionally work with them as an events volunteer. I am looking forward to getting more involved in the future, particularly at university, where I hope to gain more confidence in working under pressure. Halfway through my BTEC, I attended a nursing taster course at the University of Essex. This gave a broader understanding of both the course and the career, and confirmed my decision that nursing is for me. This was a great experience, and helped me decide that Essex would be one of my choices on my UCAS application. I am confident that a course which combines theoretical study and practical work will suit me. I believe going to university will provide skills that enable me to be the best nurse I can. University will be challenging but I have been working hard to achieve my goals and feel confident that I am ready. I am a hardworking, kind, caring, motivated student who has a passion for nursing and for helping others. page 26 My aim to become a fully qualified nurse will help me, others, and the NHS and other health organisations throughout the world. Strengths n This student has related their current studies and extra-curricular activities to their chosen subject which strengthens their application, especially for a practical, career-focused course like nursing. n It is clear the student has carried out research and it is good to highlight this in your statement. If you don’t have direct healthcare experience (for example, most hospitals don’t offer work or volunteer experience if you are under 18) then ensure you detail any transferable skills obtained from other employment (such as retail, hospitality etc). Weaknesses n The student describes their personal qualities several times; it can be more effective to demonstrate them through talking about studies or activities. n It is useful to mention relevant university visits or taster days but not advisable to show favouritism to specific institutions. Top tip from an Essex admissions selector “Do your research so you understand what the role of a nurse is. In your statement, try to demonstrate that you understand the demands of studying nursing (long academic year, shift work in clinical placements etc) and the academic rigour required. Admissions selectors are looking for nurses who are compassionate and have the ability to manage a full academic workload – it’s a big ask!” Please note: if you are applying for occupational therapy or physiotherapy, you do not apply through UCAS but directly to a university. As part of this application, you will be expected to produce a personal statement and should ensure it demonstrates your motivation and experience to study this subject. Philosophy Asking philosophical questions is part of what it means to be human. And being able to analyse moral and fundamental dilemmas - including the impact they have on our everyday life - is a crucial tool, which helps us to further understand the behaviour of the human race. The perception, acquired through the study of philosophy, can contribute to our search for happiness and the good life, our search for what the Greeks called ‘eudemonia’. This is why I believe it is essential to study philosophy. I find philosophy endlessly relevant to modern day life, so automatically apply philosophical thought to everyday life. For example, when watching a film or TV, I consider the notions of cause and effect that lead a character to commit an act, then assess whether that individual can be held morally responsible. I have continued to develop my range of thought by keeping up with current debates, such as the debates about science and religion surrounding such figures as Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens. Since making the leap from GCSE to A-level, I find my attitude towards work and education has changed; I now have a passion and natural curiosity for the subject of philosophy, so believe studying it at university will open doors to my future. Strengths n The student has a keen interest for the subject and presents this well in their personal statement. n The first paragraph is very strong. Remember that your opening lines are the most important as they need to capture the reader’s attention. Weaknesses n The statement is too short. It gives the impression that the student has little to say about themselves. It is important that you make the most of this chance to sell yourself! n The student does not elaborate further on their A-levels or their experience in Africa, which is a real shame and a missed opportunity. Top tip from an Essex admissions selector “Read widely! Try to read texts outside of your school or college work, although don’t pretend you’ve read books when you haven’t...” Outside of school, I volunteer in my community through my church, serving dinners for the elderly and undertook a volunteering placement in Africa last summer. In terms of a future career, I believe philosophy opens many doors thanks to the wide range of skills you gain. I look forward to the opportunity to study philosophy at a higher level. page 27 Politics and International Relations Politics is a subject that I feel very passionate about, and I firmly believe that studying this subject at university will help my passion grow even further. My enthusiasm for politics has flourished over the last few years, as I have realised that you need to learn more about the world in which you live, and understand how individuals in society are governed by multiple levels of government. With this in mind, during the UK’s 2010 General Election, I analysed and scrutinised the party manifestos of the three major UK political parties, so that I could fully understand their vision for taking the country forward, as well as see how these plans would affect myself, and the society that I live in. This passion that I hold for politics has allowed me to do well in my AS-levels, and gain a range of skills that I believe will fully prepare me for further study of politics. I am enjoying all my A-level subjects, but particularly A-level Politics. Throughout the last year I extended my wider reading with books including Tony Blair’s autobiography, Alistair Campbell’s The Blair Years, and The Rise of the Labour Party 1893-1931, which allowed me to widen my political knowledge on how the Labour Party in the British political system came into existence. As parliament reconvened in the autumn, I sat in the public gallery of the House of Commons to hear the Prime Minister’s televised statement. I found it fascinating to see how modern politics works alongside these traditional procedures, as well as getting a firsthand experience of the working day our politicians. I arranged this tour after gaining valuable work experience through a four-day voluntary internship with my constituency MP. During this internship, I shadowed my MP on appointments around the constituency, seeing for myself the full array of issues that our politicians have to deal with on a daily basis. I asked many questions during this time and gained clarification on areas of discussion I was uncertain about. This voluntary work has expanded my depth of knowledge in differing sectors of the political world. Inside, and outside of school, I’ve been involved in many theatrical productions, including performing onstage but also working backstage in lighting, sound and stage management. Taking the title role in my page 28 school’s production of Kiss Me Kate was a fantastic experience, which helped me to become confident in a range of situations, including campaigning to be Head Girl. For this position, I took part in debates and speeches in front of the entire school, giving me valuable experience of political electioneering. Although I did not become Head Girl, I am proud to have been elected to the post of Senior Prefect, which includes responsibilities such as managing my own group of prefects and leading younger years of the school into assembly. I want to study politics at university in order to fully explore politics in the UK and other major countries, and the context of international conflicts over power and resources. I look forward to the academic and personal challenges that going to university will present. Strengths n The student’s interest in politics is clearly demonstrated by their extra-curricular activities and involvement in politics. n The student’s enthusiasm really shines through, and it is good that they highlight skills learnt from their involvement in theatre and campaigning to become Head Girl, which they can no doubt use at university. Weaknesses n The student says they gained a selection of skills from their A-levels but does not describe or elaborate further on these. n There is little evidence of an interest in international relations. If applying for a joint degree, try not to focus too much on one part. Top tip from an Essex admissions selector “Keep up-to-date with current affairs – it will help in your personal statement and shows your interest in the subject.” Psychology Since I began studying my A-level Psychology, my interests in the diverse, complex theories surrounding this subject have grown tremendously. I have particularly enjoyed my latest piece of coursework, which was a project where I investigated the development of children’s language before starting school. I enjoyed designing and carrying out my own research on this topic, at a local playschool, and followed careful procedures to collect data and draw my conclusions. This research project was an interesting way to study child language acquisition as a psychological area, and gave me a clear insight into the topic. I am also enjoying my other A-Levels in English Language and French. Within my A-level English Language, I found our classes on the origins of the English language, looking at how we acquire our language skills and whether it is innate or learnt, to be fascinating. This helped my studies in A-level Psychology, and I contributed well to classroom discussions and debates on the topic. For my A-level French, although I have found learning a foreign language to be difficult, I have persevered and am proud to now be able to communicate with native French speakers. Last year I took part in a school exchange to France, which was a valuable experience that allowed me to see another culture. Last year I did AS-level Biology, which I found to be an excellent companion to my A-level Psychology, especially when studying subjects like the causes of depression and stress. At school, I am always keen to be involved in student life, so am producing our first ever Year 13 Leavers Yearbook. Gathering student profiles and photos has been time consuming and required a lot of organisation, but the finished book is of high quality and I hope will be appreciated by my peers for years to come. For the last two years, I have held a part-time job as a waitress in a local restaurant, which requires me to manage my time efficiently, work well under pressure at high speed, and be part of a busy and successful team. This role has also ensured I develop good communication skills, and I have grown in confidence through this employment. I am looking forward to studying psychology at university. I do not have definite career plans in mind at present, but feel the skills I will gain through this degree will help me in whatever I do in the future. I want to study psychology in depth and am excited at the idea of engaging with the various aspects of such a diverse subject at degree-level. Strengths n Discussing involvement in youth awards, like the Duke of Edinburgh Award, is an excellent way of illustrating teamwork skills. n It can be effective to talk about a project you have undertaken as part of your studies, especially if it is relevant work that you are particularly proud of or interested in. Weaknesses n The student doesn’t write that they wish to study psychology at university until the very end. You should try to state what you are applying for and why in your opening paragraph. n Many students don’t have ‘definite career plans’ but it looks better if you don’t declare this openly in your personal statement. Top tip from an Essex admissions selector “Psychology is a broad and exciting subject – make sure you demonstrate your enthusiasm in your personal statement.” Outside of my studies, I have achieved my Silver Duke of Edinburgh Award and plan to gain Gold level while at university. I particularly like the expedition element of this award, as I enjoy working as part of team and the sense of satisfaction after completing a physically demanding trip. page 29 Sociology and related courses I have been fascinated with law and order, and how this impacts on society, from a young age. I have a particular interest in related issues, such as what leads people to commit crime and the counter effects that crime has on society as a whole, as well as on the individual. I have chosen A-level subjects that reflect my keen interest in the nature of society. My A-level Sociology has helped me develop my knowledge and understanding of what drives a society in one direction or another. As I have a particular interest in law and order, my focus within my A-level Sociology has been in the nature of criminal behaviour - what makes people commit crime, what is the impact of background, upbringing and gender on a criminal, and how do acts of crime affect society? I have found my studies in English literature have enabled me to develop a strong ability to analyse information, ideas and personalities. This has helped my study of major texts, which have themselves changed our society. I have enjoyed looking at authors such as Thomas Hardy, Charles Dickens and Jane Austen. I believe my A-level Drama and Theatre Studies has given me the opportunity to look at theatre in practice, as well as researching theories on the influence of performance and analysis of human behaviour. Watching live theatre, and seeing for myself how work by actors and writers plays on our collective consciousness, and on our shared norms and values within society, has been a real inspiration to me. I have a part-time job, outside of my A-levels, working two evenings a week in a retail store. This has really helped my customer service skills, as I have to interact with all sorts of different people. Again this job allows me to see society in action. I am deeply interested in criminology and sociology, and I think it’s vital to study something genuinely fascinating. I have had first-hand contact with offenders from my work at the local prison, as I have been part of the chaplaincy team there for two years. My work here involves assessing the risk of self-harm and suicide amongst prisoners, as well as generally providing support. Within this role, I used to adhering to a strict code of conduct and behaviour. This experience ignited a passion in me to work with page 30 offenders and, in particular, repeat offenders. I believe this work has given me a good understanding of the effects of crime but that this is just a small part of a much bigger subject, so I am really looking forward to broadening my understanding of criminology and studying the subject at university-level. I am interested in the areas of restorative justice and re-offending rates in terms of future career, although I believe my university studies will reveal other career options to me. I am eager to study this subject further, as I wish to combine my personal experience with an academic understanding in a way that can actually effect change in people’s lives. I believe a degree in criminology can open many diverse doors for me, and I look forward to the next step in my journey. I would like to thank you for taking the time to read my application, I hope you can see my potential. Strengths n Work experience and voluntary work demonstrates both focus and commitment on the part of the student. n There is evidence that the student has read around and understands the subject area. Weaknesses n Each paragraph begins with ‘I’; this is very repetitive and shows a lack of stylistic consideration. n The last sentence is unnecessary and could have been put to better use. Top tip from an Essex admissions selector “Admissions selectors like personal statements for criminology that don’t talk about forensics or attempting to ‘solve the crime problem’, which are all detective work rather than criminology. Make sure you know your subject area as that will be more impressive to admissions selectors!” Sports and Exercise Science Sports and exercise science provides a fantastic opportunity to learn about performance enhancement; be it improving fitness, breaking a world record or winning a competition. Professional sports players strive to reach their full potential and I believe the opportunity to learn how an individual can reach their peak is both fascinating and inspiring. Studying A-level Physical Education has developed my understanding of human anatomy, and I have built strong analytical skills, particularly when considering elite performance and health. There has been substantial independent research as part of my course, and I have thoroughly enjoyed taking responsibility for my learning, as well as working to deadlines. As part of my course, I was able to attend a residential summer school for sports science at my local university, which gave me a good introduction to university life. In addition, studying A-level Biology has improved my ability to conduct effective experiments and ensure I develop a keen eye for detail when collecting, analysing and presenting data for my final research project. One of my favourite athletes is heptathlete, Jessica Ennis. I am particularly interested in how her body copes with seven punishing events over just two days, how it adapts, and how she trains effectively. I have also been fascinated to see how she handled the psychological pressure of being the favourite at a home Olympics, which I have looked at further as part of my A-level Psychology. Psychology has required me to adapt to very different styles of learning, enabling me to build effective written communication skills and develop the ability to extract and apply relevant information from a range of resources to my academic work. This course has also given me an alternative perspective to my other studies. Last year, I was a part of a sports programme designed to encourage primary school children to participate in activities that improve their fitness. I was given one piece of miniature gym equipment and a group of five; not only did I try to make the session beneficial for their health but encouraged them to take various roles such as that of an official or coach, eg by placing them in control of timing or encouraging the group to support the participant and then provide feedback. This experience was very valuable, as I was able to truly see the psychological effects others have on a performer. I now volunteer at a local primary school, teaching sport to pupils aged 7-9, and coach the Under-12s team at my football club. These responsibilities have enabled me to pass on my love of sport, as well as taught me the importance of reliability, commitment and effective communication with others. In my spare time I play in my local football club and compete in my local volleyball league, which gives me a good balance with my academic study. During my A-level studies, I have learnt a lot of new information that has both interested me and increased my passion for sport. I truly feel that I have learnt a lot through my time at college. I know that studying sports and exercise science at university-level will increase my knowledge tenfold, and enable me to have a detailed knowledge of the subject for when I enter the working world. Strengths n The student supports their interest in sports science with evidence of extra-curricular information, such as coaching, which will be impressive to admissions selectors. n It is good to mention any previous experience of visiting universities, such as a summer school or A-level conference, as this demonstrates a keen interest. Weaknesses n The student is clearly focused on the subject which is important, but they fail to present themselves as a well-rounded individual by not mentioning interests outside of sports. n The student could have elaborated further on skills they have gained through involvement in football and volleyball. Top tip from an Essex admissions selector “Be sure to clearly articulate your interest in sport and demonstrate your understanding that studying sport and exercise science is about developing scientific knowledge and skills.” page 31 What not to write: an example of a personal statement with several weaknesses Ever since my first aeroplane flight at just three months old, I have loved travelling and exploring different parts of the world. I would like to live and work abroad, so believe a university course in modern languages would suit me best and fit with my future career plans. I am studying for my A-levels in French, Spanish and Drama. I visited France on an exchange programme last year, where I was able to experience the culture, education and home life, as well as acquiring valuable language skills. I am most enjoying my A-levels in French and Spanish as my tutors are excellent and really encourage a lively discussion in the classroom. This is in complete contrast to my A-level Drama tutor who stifles our creativity with his difficult attitude. I have also undertaken an AS-level in History but dropped this to focus on my other A-levels, as I know I want to study languages at university and not bother with history. Outside of school, I am a keen boxer, as it helps me to keep fit and release my anger. However, for the past two years, I have dedicated myself to my A-level studies, so have not participated in boxing, or any other interests and hobbies. Lately, since my eighteenth birthday, I have taken to socialising with my older sister by visiting local nightclubs, pubs and bars, and have been enjoying meeting new people and making new friends. I am looking forward to embracing the nightlife at university. At university I would also be interested in joining a film club, as I like discussing movies, and unfortunately there is no such club at my current school. I have yet to visit any universities but will be doing so at the soonest available date. However, I believe strongly in the importance of languages as an enhancement to future career opportunities, and I aspire to pursue a career which allows me to make use of my language skills. I would be interested in working as a translator or interpreter for an international organisation, although I have also thought about teaching abroad, as I like to experience other cultures. page 32 I feel it is very important to have the ability to communicate with people from other parts of the world and am keen to further my foreign language abilities in higher education. I know I would benefit greatly from the opportunities offered through a university degree in modern languages. Where did they go wrong? The personal statement does have some good points, as the student displays their interest in modern languages and touches upon future career plans. However, many parts are negative and should have been left out. n Don’t mention any dislike or lack of respect towards your teachers or employers. n Don’t make comments that are negative, such as not wanting to study history at university. This sentence is not relevant and, indeed, many language courses include the history of the country you are learning a language for! Make sure you do your research into your chosen course(s). n Saying that boxing helps you release your anger makes the student sound rather scary! It is good to mention the benefits of hobbies and interests, so try not to make vacuous statements about socialising with family and friends. n Although it is good to talk about future plans and interests at university, remember that academic selectors are reading your personal statement so remarks about the ‘nightlife’ at university are less relevant to them. n Comments about how there is no film club at school are also negative, and admissions selectors might wonder why the student did not start their own film club at school. n Admitting that you have not done any research and visited universities does not sound very impressive. References You school or college will write your reference which, along with your personal statement, admissions tutors value highly when making decisions. Your reference may be written by more than one person, usually your head of sixth form or head of department, in conjunction with your subject tutors. Most references will talk about you from the teacher’s perspective; how you work academically, how you interact with other students and teachers, for example. Your reference will also include your teacher’s predictions of your final grades at A-level. Most references also contain the following: n information about your performance in individual modules; for example, your tutor may highlight if you were one mark away from an A grade; n your proposed career plan, if you have one, so make sure your tutors are aware of your career ideas and any work experience you have; n their opinion of your suitability for a particular profession (eg a caring nature for nursing); n anything that may have happened to you to affect your academic work (eg an ongoing illness); n any personal circumstances which have affected, or will affect, your performance, for example the illness or death of a close relative; and n information about any special needs that you may have, such as a disability or learning difficulties, and how you cope with these. If you have an issue that you want universities to be aware of when considering your application - such as your grades being affected by illness - this should be in your reference, rather than your personal statement, so do discuss this with your tutors. Your reference is your tutor’s second opinion of you, and will mostly have an academic focus. Most referees focus on your academic successes and potential at university, and how you have progressed in your subjects. A reference is almost always a positive record of your performance and academic abilities: remember your tutors want you to get a university place and are writing a reference to help you! Information for teachers and careers advisors The University of Essex Marketing and Student Recruitment Office offers talks and workshops on a range of topics related to higher education. Aimed at students, teachers and guidance advisors, and those on access courses, these include: n Why go to university? n Choosing a course and university n Applying to university (tailored for students and/or parents) n Writing a strong personal statement (with real examples) n Student finance and budgeting n Student life In addition, we can provide other presentations tailored to the specific needs of your school/college. If you would like a representative to deliver a talk, please contact us. T 01206 873987 E [email protected] Additional materials This guide is available in an electronic format, please contact our Marketing and Student Recruitment Office. T 01206 873987 E [email protected] We also produce a Reference Writing Guide for teachers and advisors completing UCAS references. Please use the contact details above to request a copy or for any further information. Find out more If you have questions about any aspect of admissions at the University of Essex, please contact: Undergraduate Admissions Office University of Essex Wivenhoe Park Colchester CO4 3SQ T 01206 873666 E [email protected] www.essex.ac.uk Prospectus hotline (24 hours): +44 (0)1206 873778
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