How To Help Your Teenager
Succeed in School
Let’s not mince words. Raising a teenager is hard work, and they don’t come with a users manual. But there are a few things you CAN do as a parent to help make sure they succeed in school. Let them make mistakes. Then let them problem‐solve their own solution. It’s human nature to want to protect our children, but solving their problems for them won’t teach them those valuable critical‐thinking skills they need to survive in this world. So next time they forget an important homework assignment at home, don’t feel that you have to leave work to get it to them. Make sure they get enough sleep at night. A tired teenager isn’t able to absorb and retain information. And studies have shown that older teens need MORE, not less sleep than younger teens do. So don’t be afraid to set a reasonable time in your home when televisions, computers, and lights should be shut off. Create an environment in your home that’s conducive to doing homework. Your teenager should have some place in the home where he and she can do their homework without distractions. Some prefer working at a desk, some prefer sprawling on their beds. But wherever they study, they should be in an area that’s free from distractions. Remove the noisy younger sibling from the room and engage them elsewhere in the home. If television is proving to be a distraction, make a rule that the television stays off during homework time. And even though we all want to believe that our teenagers are using their computers for school work, it’s best to have any on‐line computer use in a common area of your home so that you can monitor whether they’re studying – or on the latest social media. Make homework a priority. Sit down with your teenager and decide upon a regular time for studying Consider your child’s sports activities, household chores, and other commitments, and schedule a set time each day for homework. Sometimes breaking study time up into smaller increments will work better than one solid period. Talk to your child to figure out what works best. And its important to allow your child time to decompress from school once they come home, so give them some time to grab a snack and just relax before starting that homework time. Is your child involved in so many extra‐curricular activities that there’s no time for homework? Consider cutting back on those activities. How much homework is too much? Studies tell us that a student should expect ten minutes of homework per day per grade level: 90 minutes for grade 9 students, 100 minutes for grade 10 students, 110 minutes for grade 11 students, and 120 minutes for grade 12 students. If your student is spending much more time than that, something is wrong. Help your teenager stay organized. A common thread mentioned by parents everywhere is that their child is unorganized and its affecting their quality of work. Put an end to forgotten assignments and help your child develop a method of keeping track of homework assignments. Do they need a planner? A wall calendar? Helping them stay organized now will help them develop a productive method for accomplishing tasks later in life. Show that you value learning. Learning should be something that children – and adults – look forward to, not dread. If you put a positive spin on learning, your kids will notice. Take advantage of your role as a parent and grab opportunities for opening your child’s mind up to new ideas and experiences. You are the best role model for your child, so pick up a book and read. Children who read more do better on verbal and math tests, so schedule an hour every night where the television is shut off and books are opened instead. Get involved at your child’s school. Find ways to get involved at your child’s school to demonstrate that you support them in this important area of his or her life. Volunteer to bake for a bake sale, decorate the gym for a sporting event; serve on a parent committee; or volunteer to speak on career day. There are so many ways you can help your child’s school, which will in turn help your child. And remember to communicate with your child’s teachers. Education is a kākou thing, and if everyone works together toward a child’s success we’re bound to see amazing things happen. Show up for those parent‐teacher conferences and for family nights at your child’s school and get to know their teachers! Students perform better in school when parents are kept apprised of their progress. In conversations with teachers, parents can also gain valuable information about their child’s strengths which can be important in encouraging their adolescents. Set a limit on part‐time jobs. It’s a fact of life that some teenagers work. Some do it for the experience, some do it for the pocket money, some do it to help out their families. But despite the reasons for doing it, the fact of the matter is that it does take away from time that the child could be studying – or sleeping. Students who work more than 15‐20 hours per week are more likely to exhibit emotional distress, school misconduct, and alcohol or other drug abuse. Academic performance is affected too. Students who put in long hours at work tend to have lower grades, miss more days of school, have difficulty staying awake in class, participate in fewer extra‐curricular activities, and derive less enjoyment from school. Don't Take "Nothing" for an Answer. Who among us hasn’t asked their teenager what they did that day – and received “Nothing.” in response? The goal is for parents is to delve a little more deeply into those grunts and monosyllabic answers teens are so good at delivering. If your child's textbook isn't coming home too often, ask what he is working on at school. Try to get your child to identify what skills or knowledge she used that day in school, or to have them tell you one new thing they learned that day. Having a clearer idea of what’s happening in your child’s life will help you to help them – and may also stop potential problems from occurring. Get to know your teen’s friends – and their parents. One of the best ways that you can continue to influence your child’s life is to stay involved. By getting to know your child’s friends, you can gain some insight into the relationships that your child is involved in—and keep an eye on those relationships to make sure that they stay positive. Share a meal together. It seems as if everyone is going in a hundred different directions these days, and a family meal is something you only see on reruns of The Brady Bunch. But even if your family’s schedule doesn’t allow for a family meal together every night, try to set aside one night a week where the family sits down together for a meal – and don’t forget to turn off the television while you’re eating! Researchers have found that teenagers from families that regularly eat together had fewer emotional and behavioral problems, are less likely to abuse alcohol and other drugs, and do better at school. Parents and children who share meals together are also more likely to have more frequent and open communication with one another. So pick up your fork, turn off your phone, and eat!