VOL. 5, NO. 32
JUNE 15, 2015
Informative Articles
A Secret Your Husband
Needs You to Know
7 Ways to Keep Respect as
a Husband
Bitterness and Marriage
Strong Bonds
Discipleship
Ruck for Freedom
August 2015 Page 5
Equip, Encourage, Edify Page 4
2 July 2015 Page 5
Leadership Strengths Can
Turn into Weaknesses
CHAPLAIN’S SITREP
40TH EXPEDITIONARY SIGNAL BATTALION
A Secret Your Husband
Needs You to Know by Ron
Edmondson, ronedmondson.com (12 Jun
15)
Ladies, there’s a secret your husband
probably won’t share.
He may not even like that I’m sharing it.
It’s not that he doesn’t want you to know.
He does. But, it’s hard to admit sometimes.
Or, difficult to find the right words.
But, I feel you need to know. It could make
a huge difference in your marriage.
Here goes:
Connect With Me
chapcalvert.com
@chapcalvert
flickr.com/photos/chapcalvert
facebook.com/chapcalvert
Daily Scriptures
Jun 15
Jun 16
Jun 17
Jun 18
Jun 19
Jun 20
1 Kgs 18, Ps 134, Jas 1-2
1 Kgs 19-20, Ps 135, Jas 3-5
1 Kgs 21-22, Ps 136, 1 Pet 1-2
2 Kgs 1-2, Ps 137, 1 Pet 3-5
2 Kgs 3-4, Ps 138, 2 Pet 1-3
2 Kgs 5-6, Ps 139, 1 Jn 1-2
HE NEEDS YOUR UNCONDITIONAL
RESPECT — IN FACT — HE NEEDS YOU
TO BE HIS BIGGEST FAN.
There. The secret is out in the open.
It’s true. He needs to know you respect
him — what he does and whom he is.
Your support feeds his God-given ego.
Of course, that ego can be abused. And, it
is many times. It doesn’t, however, diminish
his need. I would even say — his greatest
need.
Just as you need his unconditional love,
he needs your unconditional respect. (And
vice-versa)
I also realize you nor he is capable of
perfectly fulfilling those individual needs. But at least you know the secret now.
Doing well for the woman he loves is
perhaps one of the greatest goals in a
man’s life.
That inner desire starts at a very early
age. The little league ball player who turns
around to see if mom watches him bat. The
same little boy who brings a flower (weed)
home to mom. It’s the respect he’s seeking.
The truth is sometimes a guy feels as if he
doesn’t measure up to everyone’s
standards. Actually it happens a lot of
times.
(Please don’t tell him I told you all this.)
He feels the weight of being wonderful in
so many areas. His home. His family. His
work. Even in his hobby.
It’s a pressure men carry internally —
possibly never sharing it with anyone.
Chances are fear of failure is his greatest
fear. And the fear of disappointing you is a
close second.
He may see you seeming to do so well
with all your responsibilities. Whether in the
home, with the kids, or in relationships —
he feels you always know what you’re
doing. He knows he doesn’t.
Even your walk with God may shine
brighter than his sometimes. Okay — most
times.
You handle things so well, in fact, at times,
he’s tempted to not even try.
(Please don’t tell him I told you this.)
Let me give you a personal example. One
time after preaching Cheryl said nothing.
Welcome, LTC Cora Henry - The 40th
ESB’s new Battalion Commander
Email [email protected] to be added to or removed from the electronic distribution of this Newsletter.
1
VOL. 5, NO. 32
Usually she says “Great job today” — or —
”That was a good one”.
That day — nothing!
Three days later I asked, “Was I that bad?”
See how shallow I can be?
Truth is I need her positive feedback and
encouragement. It’s what fuels me. It’s what
keeps me motivated to do my best.
Your husband is likely similar.
I know that sounds shallow of us. Perhaps
it is.
But, here’s the best part of the secret.
IF YOUR HUSBAND FEELS RESPECTED
IN HIS HOME — HE WILL DO ANYTHING
TO KEEP IT.
Maybe even start doing the dishes. If he
does, brag on him.
Who knows? Maybe next will be the
dusting. Nah — don’t push it!
And, if you’re raising a son — next time
your little boy — I mean big boy — is up to
bat, make sure he can turn around and see
you smiling. It will make all the difference.
7 Ways to Keep Respect as a
Husband by Ron Edmondson,
ronedmondson.com (7 Feb 15)
Men, I’ve written before about your
greatest need: It’s respect.
You may not even admit it out loud, but I’d
say it’s true most every time. You may use
another word. You may even use the word
love, but I bet if we could trace how you’d
prefer to receive it we could easily translate
that into respect.
The song says “All you need is love”, but
that’s not true, is it? You need respect. It’s a
man’s greatest need. I’m convinced.
If I’m right… (And why else would God
command it in Ephesians 5?) …then it
makes sense that if you ever received it
Odd & Silly Holidays
Monday - June 15, 2015
Smile Power Day
Tuesday - June 16, 2015
Fresh Veggies Day
Wednesday - June 17, 2015
Eat Your Vegetables Day
Thursday - June 18, 2015
National Splurge Day
Friday - June 19, 2015
World Sauntering Day
Saturday - June 20, 2015
Ice Cream Soda Day
Sunday - June 21, 2015
Father's Day Finally Summer Day- Summer Solstice
JUNE 15, 2015
you’d want to do your best to keep it.
How can you? Let me share a few
suggestions.
HERE ARE 7 WAYS FOR A MAN TO
KEEP RESPECT AS A HUSBAND:
Defend the family – Most every wife I
know wants a husband who will defend the
family. That’s not just against the bumps in
the night, but against the blatant and subtle
attacks against the family. Turn the
television channel. Close the laptop. Say no
to friends who distract the family from being
healthy.
Be gentle – Men, you can’t talk to your
wife with the same tone as you do your guy
friends. Being gentle means being
understanding in how she is wired and how
to communicate with her. Remember your
words can be heavy. Think before you
speak. Protect her heart.
Be occasionally romantic – Let’s face
it…most of us are not wired this way. Our
wives know that. The good news is you get
credit for trying, but every woman needs to
know you are thinking of her unlike you
think of anyone else. Be intentional to be
occasionally a romantic. Surprise her. Spoil
her. Make her feel special.
Don’t fix her – She’s not broke. God
made her different on purpose. Don’t
always have the answer to every problem.
She isn’t always looking for one.
Let her know you’re in this…for keeps –
You’ll do this one by being faithful. Do the
right things, even when you aren’t with each
other. Don’t let her see your eyes
wandering. When she does (because we
are visual and she notices when you look)
quickly let her see you fighting temptation
and focusing on her alone. Guard your
heart.
Learn to listen – She likely equals love
with attention. She knows when you’re
listening and when you’re not. Show her
that you care by listening carefully. Ask her
questions, such as, “So are you saying…?”‘
just to show her you’re paying attention to
her. She probably speaks in more subtleties
than you do…most women do…ask
questions when you aren’t sure what she
means rather than ignoring her.
Tell her and show her you love her –
Value her for more who she is than for what
she does. Ask yourself, if she didn’t do
anything for me, what would I love about
her? Tell her. Do things you know she
appreciates without being asked.
“The Battalion is formed!”
Thank you SGT Liebel for your service.
be defiled. – Hebrews 12:15
Bitterness is not something we set out to
introduce into our relationships. But it is
surprisingly easy to let it slip into the mix
and take hold. Basically it starts like this: we
have some sort of disagreement that we let
drag on for way too long without resolution.
And while this is happening we stew about
it in our heads, always painting the other
person as the villain and us as the virtuous
victims. I’m willing to bet that most of us
have experienced this to some degree.
Disagreements are a natural part of
marriage. We should always try to resolve
them gently and quickly, but it is also very
human of us to let things go on for longer
than they should. And if we leave it too
long, the strong desire to blame the other
person for all our problems can become a
habit–and then a constant part of our
relationship. This entrenched and hostile
blaming is bitterness.
If we contrast bitterness with regret, it can
help to better understand bitterness. Regret
is where things are not going well and you
blame yourself. This is not healthy either,
and you should talk to God about it if you
struggle with regret. Bitterness is where
things are not going well and your blame is
focused externally, on the people around
you.
Here are some tests to see if you harbor
bitterness towards your spouse:
• When you can’t find something of yours,
Bitterness and Marriage by Al, is your first reaction to blame your spouse
for misplacing it?
excellentorpraiseworthy.org (7 Feb 15)
• Do you resent your spouse for any
See to it that no one comes short of the
success they have, feeling like they are
grace of God; that no root of bitterness
undeserving?
springing up causes trouble, and by it many
Email [email protected] to be added to or removed from the electronic distribution of this Newsletter.
2
VOL. 5, NO. 32
• If friends stop wanting to visit you, do
you think it is all your spouses fault?
• Did you read this to try to fix them
because they are the cause of all your
troubles?
If you answered yes to any of these
questions or similar ones you can think of
yourself, then you probably have a
bitterness problem.
Bitterness is very bad – bad for the health
of your relationship and bad for your
physical health. Try Googling “bitterness”
and “health” and see how many medical
articles come up that say bitterness will hurt
you. This is why God tells us not to let any
roots of bitterness spring up. The Greek
word translated as bitterness is “pikria”,
which is used figuratively as bitterness, but
literally means poison. If you are harboring
any bitterness in your relationship, you are
poisoning yourself and your relationship. It
is often said that bitterness is “like drinking
a poison and expecting the other person to
die.”
Because of the poisonous nature of
bitterness, you can also damage your
relationship by harboring bitterness against
people other than your spouse. Your
parents maybe, or a childhood bully or your
boss or even a former pastor. If you
consistently blame someone outside of your
relationship for problems in your life, then
don’t think that the poison you are
generating from that relationship won’t leak
into your marriage relationship. Generally
you either end up: 1) convincing your
spouse to buy into your bitterness and
causing them to be in a constant state of
anger or irritation; or 2) causing your
spouse to become frustrated with you
because you tend to drag a dark cloud of
negativity around with you…
The good news is that there is an almost
instant cure for bitterness, and it is very
simple. Forgive anyone you are blaming for
your problems, for all real or imagined
offenses.
I didn’t say it was easy, just that it was
simple! The payoff in the improved health of
your relationship and your physical wellbeing will be well worth the effort. Just
remember that entrenched bitterness can
take some time to dig out and dispose of,
kind of like clearing a minefield. So don’t
give up even if the feelings of blame
continue to well up from time to time. Ask
the Holy Spirit for the strength to forgive
and then douse those bitter feelings with
forgiveness each time. Watch them shrivel
up and eventually die, freeing you from the
poison of bitterness.
You may have noticed that poisonous
substances have labels that tell you to act
immediately if someone ingests the poison.
JUNE 15, 2015
Making Shelter
McNab, Chris Special Forces Survival Guide; MJF Books, 2008.
Tree Shelter
The tree shelter utilizes
the trunk of a tree as a
robust central support.
Fir trees are ideal for this
sort of shelter because
the canopy of branches
forms a natural barrier.
Doing nothing about it is the worst thing
you can do! Now let’s say you accidentally
swallow a poison, but you are deployed for
a few months . . . would you leave it in your
system until you got back and then plan to
deal with it? That would be reckless to say
the least. It’s the same with bitterness. If
you or your spouse are about to deploy, my
advice is to make a special effort to deal
with any bitterness that affects your
relationship. Leaving it unaddressed in
your system for the time you are apart is
going to allow the poison to eat at yourself
and your marriage unchecked.
If you are, however, already deployed
when you read this, you can start ridding
yourself of bitterness right where you are
through forgiving anyone you need to. If
bitterness has damaged your relationship
prior to deploying, it will be trickier. But you
can also begin the healing process even
with the distance between you. This is
possible by carefully and gently
communicating your own journey of healing
and inviting your spouse to journey with
you. I also think that dealing with bitterness
as much as you can while you are apart is
important if you want to greatly reduce the
already significant challenges that many
couples face when reintegrating after a
deployment.
My last point – if you have read this and
you realize that your spouse suffers from
bitterness, don’t give up on them no matter
how grumpy that might make them.
Redouble your efforts to love them and help
coach them out of it by gently and carefully
suggesting that forgiving others would be a
healthy option!
weakness can be attributed to one or more
strengths that are overused.
In a recent talent review meeting, the
executive team was discussing the
strengths and development needs of a
promising up and coming leader. One of her
greatest strengths was her customer focus.
This was a company that placed a high
value on customer service, so that strength
had served her well.
However, this leader was developing a
reputation for breaking too many company
policies and rules, alienating or bullying
other departments, being too narrowly
focused, and not strategic enough. Her
passion for taking care of her customers at
all costs was now turning into a liability.
So yes, you can even be too customer
focused.
Here are six other common leadership
strengths that when overdone can turn into
leadership weaknesses:
1. The results focused leader. This is the
leader that gets things done and delivers
results. The downside? They often get
results at the expense of others, leaving a
trail of bodies in their wake. In the worst
cases, they may even cut ethical and legal
corners.
2. The courageous leader. This is the
leader that’s not afraid to take a stand,
makes the tough decisions, and stands up
for what’s’ right. However, when overdone,
can come across as dogmatic,
uncompromising and overly critical, picking
too many fights and burning too many
bridges.
3. The caring, compassionate leader. Yes, you can be too nice, especially when
the leader can’t deal with underperformers,
Leadership Strengths Can
avoids conflicts, and can’t make tough
Turn into Weaknesses by Dan business decisions that have a negative
impact on people. They can also be taken
McCarthy, greatleadershipbydan.com (2
advantage of and be seen as naïve.
Jun 15)
4. The empowering leader. This is the
When it comes to leadership, is there such leader that gives lots of room and freedom,
thing as too much of a good thing? There is comfortable delegating, and takes a
sure can be! In fact, just about any hands off approach to managing others.
Email [email protected] to be added to or removed from the electronic distribution of this Newsletter.
3
VOL. 5, NO. 32
When overdone, the leader may give too
much responsibility to employees that are
not ready for it, and not enough direction to
those that need it. They may also be seen
as others as avoiding doing any work
themselves.
5. The motivational leader. This is the
leader that knows how to rally the troops
and which buttons to push to get people
energized. Could there be a downside?
Only if the leader pushes people beyond
their limitations, burns people out, or be
seen as showing favoritism in their attempts
to appeal to what motivates each individual.
6. The visionary, brilliant leader. The
Steve Jobs leader. They are the brilliant
strategists, masters of their domain, often
the smartest person in the room, and
always one or two steps ahead of
everyone. However, when overdone, they
may disregard the views of others, be
impatient, and have difficulty relating with
those that may not be as smart as them
(meaning just about everyone!).
The lesson here is when strengths are
overdone, they can turn into weaknesses.
While it’s good to be aware of and leverage
your strengths, don’t overuse your
strengths to the point where they can have
negative side effects. Be open to feedback
and learn to “dial it back”, especially when
under pressure.
Daily Devotional
15 JUNE
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst
for righteousness, for they shall be
satisfied. (Matthew 5:6, ESV)
Hungry? Thirst? Those first few weeks of
more of Operation Iraqi Freedom when they
were working to get food and fresh water
supplies to the troops, I bet plenty knew
hunger and thirst during those days. Ever
hunger and thirst after God? Do you know
what it is like to long for what is right? Do
you desire to be morally upright and without
sin? Guess what? You’ve come to the right
place, if you’ve come to God to fill that
need.
Prayer: Lord, satisfy the longing within my
heart.
16 JUNE
10 He does not deal with us according to
our sins, nor repay us according to our
iniquities. 11 For as high as the heavens
are above the earth, so great is his
steadfast love toward those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west, so far
does he remove our transgressions from
us. (Psalm 103:10-12, ESV)
I guess this is one time where we can be
glad that we don’t get what’s coming to us!
Although we sometimes forget, especially
JUNE 15, 2015
God:His Power
13
Romans 1:20
For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine
nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the
world, in the things that have been made. So they are without
excuse.
when we’re dealing with the enemy, it is
wonderful to be treated better than we
deserve. God doesn’t just overlook our
faults and mistakes. He takes our sins and
throws them into a “sea of forgetfulness.”
That’s how great His love is.
Prayer: Lord, your love is amazing. It’s
steady and unchanging.
17 JUNE
17 For God did not send his Son into the
world to condemn the world, but in order
that the world might be saved through him.
18 Whoever believes in him is not
condemned, but whoever does not believe
is condemned already, because he has not
believed in the name of the only Son of
God. (John 3:17, ESV)
Remember Paul Harvey, the news guy? A
lot of times, you only hear part of the story.
This is one of those cases. Most people
know John 3:16 and could even quote it,
but there’s more. Keep reading. The next
verses warn us not to fall under
condemnation because we don’t believe.
God didn’t send His son to condemn but
you are condemned already if you don’t
believe. And now you know the rest of the
story.
Prayer: Lord, lift me up above the muck
and mire of this world – to live as one who
is redeemed.
18 JUNE
For I will be merciful toward their iniquities,
and I will remember their sins no
more.” (Hebrews 8:12, ESV)
Once again, the forgive and forget thing!
Ask God to help you grasp the fact that He
has forgiven ALL your sins and mistakes
and mess-ups! Not only that, He doesn’t
even remember what they were! Here is
one thing God can’t do… He can’t
remember what came before “I forgive you”.
It’s a good rule to follow. How about trying
to extend that to someone that needs your
forgiveness today.
Prayer: Lord, thank you for your mercy.
19 JUNE
let the wicked forsake his way, and the
unrighteous man his thoughts; let him
return to the Lord, that he may have
compassion on him, and to our God, for he
will abundantly pardon. (Isaiah 55:7, ESV)
Forgiveness is a wonderful thing. We
know that God freely forgives and forgets
but what is our part? Repentance. That
means turning our back on what once was,
i.e. our evil ways and thoughts. Turn your
back to your past and turn to the Lord who
freely forgives.
Prayer: Lord, forgive my selfishness. I ask
for your forgiveness.
20 JUNE
I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did
not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess
my transgressions to the Lord,” and you
forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah (Psalm
32:5, ESV)
Here is another wonderful aspect of
forgiveness. When we cover up our sin
there is one thing that begins to eat us
alive: guilt. The solution: confess our sin
and not cover it up. The result: not only are
our sins forgiven but the guilt of that sin is
forgiven as well.
Prayer: Lord, forgive the wretch that I am. I
confess my sin before you my God.
21 JUNE
Blessed is the one whose transgression is
forgiven, whose sin is covered. (Psalm
32:1, ESV)
For days we’ve been talking about
forgiveness. Take time this day to take
inventory. Make a “thank you, Lord” list and
take the time to reflect on all that the Lord
has done for you.
Prayer: Lord, I praise You for Your mercy.
May my life honor You.
Heidelberg Catechism week 14
Question 35 What does it mean that he
“was conceived by the Holy Spirit and born
of the virgin Mary”?
Answer That the eternal Son of God, who
is and remains true and eternal God, took
to himself, through the working of the Holy
Spirit, from the flesh and blood of the virgin
Mary, a truly human nature so that he might
also become David’s true descendant, like
his brothers and sisters in every way except
for sin.
Question 36 How does the holy
conception and birth of Christ benefit you?
Answer He is our mediator and, in God’s
sight, he covers with his innocence and
perfect holiness my sinfulness in which I
was conceived.
Email [email protected] to be added to or removed from the electronic distribution of this Newsletter.
4
VOL. 5, NO. 32
JUNE 15, 2015
Strong Bonds for Married Service Members
Strong Bonds for Singles Service Members
Mission: Invest into your Marriage: A Payoff for a
Life Time
Focus: Lasting Intimacy through Nurturing
Knowledge and Skills (LINKS)
Location: To Be Determined (Tucson, AZ)
Registration Dates: 14 Jul - 13 Aug
Event Dates: 28-30 Aug
Audience: Married Service
Members
Mission: Develop Leadership Potential and
Leadership Vision
Focus: 7 Habits of Highly Effective Soldiers
Location: To Be Determined
Registration Dates: 22 Jun - 22 Jul
Event Dates: 6 Aug
Audience: Single Service
Members
Weekly Bible Quiz
1. What was the name of Abraham’s
first wife?
2. What did God do on the seventh
day, after he had finished creating
everything?
3. On what day did the apostles
receive the Holy Spirit?
4. At the Last Supper, what items of
food and drink did Jesus give thanks
for?
5. When Jesus was in the wilderness,
what was he tempted to turn into loaves
of bread?
Answers
1. Sarah (Gen 17:15)
2. Rested (Gen 2:1-3)
3. Day of Pentecost (Acts 2:1-4)
4. Bread and wine (Matt 26:26-27)
5. Stones (Matt 4:3)
Email [email protected] to be added to or removed from the electronic distribution of this Newsletter.
PRAY FOR THE
PERSECUTED
5