The Lion King was supposedly Disney’s first original work. This
was kind of a big deal. But back then so were Pogs. Surely if Disney
was just doing Find and Replace on Shakespeare someone would have
called them on it! Oh God… I just remembered the sequels. The Lion
King 2 is a love story about two star-crossed lovers from warring families. “Romeo and Juliet”. Lion King 1 (1/2) is about the story of Lion
King told from the perspective of Timon and Pumbaa. But it came
out way after the others. Disney couldn’t possibly find a way to copy
something for… oh wait there was “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are
Dead”.
Walt Disney Presents Ham
Don’t think I’m being unfair here. Have you looked at the list of
let the Lion: Prince of Déjà Vu
movies from the “Disney Renaissance?” The Little Mermaid, Beauty
White Lightning
and the Beast, Aladdin, Pocahontas, The Hunchback of Notre Dame,
Hercules, Mulan, and Tarzan were all stories Disney traced and then
made millions with. These guys are pros. Poor Shakespeare was just
A young prince runs from responsibility followone more victim of the mouse.
ing the death of his father the king. His uncle, guilty of
Then again Billy isn’t so innocent himself. When he isn’t giving
regicide, sits unjustly on the throne. The ghost of the king
us a History lesson he is borrowing someone else’s story or using artisreturns and commands the prince to action as dark tidings
tic license all over some Greek myths.
encroach on the kingdom. The uncle’s attempt to kill his
nephew has failed and he dies removed from the throne by
the prince.
Great plot right? I know you like it since you’ve
already seen it twice. You might recognize it as an almost
intentionally vague summary Disney’s The Lion King. If
you weren’t a child in the 90s and you missed out, you
might recognize it as a vague summary of another work,
Shakespeare’s Hamlet. Coincidence? Let’s hope not or I’m
wasting a lot of time here.
Let’s fill in some blanks. “Simba/Hamlet runs from
responsibility following the death of his father Mufasa/
King Hamlet. His uncle Scar/Claudius…” This works for all
of the characters. Sarabi/Gertrude, Nala/ Ophelia, and even
Timon & Pumbaa have their counter parts in Rosencrantz
and Guildenstern.
But he’s the Bard! Shakespeare and Disney are beloved story
tellers. We can forgive them. We still have libraries of movies to enjoy
untainted by remakes and dramatized silliness like that. Like Godfather! That was a cinematic master piece. Wait, that was a novel. Actually most of the movies on AFI’s top 100 get their inception from
somewhere else. Even Star Wars can be described as Joseph Cambell’s
Hero and the Laser-Sword Adventure.
Video Games considered art!?
New contributor White
Lightning has some interesting
ideas on where Disney get their
stories.
Alaska scored an interview with
our own Deepthroat
Steadman talks comics.... again.
Roget Eberta gets existential
when she reviews
I ♥ Huckabees.
Deepthroat has something to
say about Osama Bin Laden.
And whiskey.
This month Bon Iver and My
Morning Jacket get a listen
from Steadman.
In light of the rapture that didn’t
happen this issue is dedicated to
author and atheist Douglas
Adams.
Nutz has submitted some art for
us.
JK Potter submitted some poetry
for your eyeholes.
Every idea that rolls into theatres has already been done
before. Hollywood’s Christmas releases are a perpetual
“Simpson’s did it!” of rehashes. Is this bad? Does it detract
from The Godfather or Star Wars because their origins
stem from a novel or literary theory actualized? The Maltese Falcon was adapted from a novel 3 different times
but the 1941 version is still considered a classic and genre
defining. Even though the Lion King has Shakespearean
roots it’s still one of my favorite animated films.
Too Late.
-White Lightning
Deepthroat Remembers 9/11
Rather than continue to lambast Disney, Shakespeare, et al I’m going to embrace this game their playing.
Simba/Hamlet can retake the throne a hundred times and
as long as I’m excited to watch them do it, as long as their
journey affects me, then it doesn’t matter if their literary
roots are millennia old. It’s no longer a mark of a critical
eye to look down on a new movie or book for walking a
well traveled road. Instead, the critics benefit from having
it’s forbearers to compare it to and the audience benefits
from the refinements.
Ok, new theory. We are idiots. We like the same
thing over and over again. We want the same story we’ve
heard before just slightly different. If you want to make
a classic you are better off trying to tell someone else’s
story but better. There is money to be made here! Take
any story you love and set it in space. It’ll be like printing
money!
I was sitting in my 6th grade earth science class when the first tower got hit. I was unaware of what
happened, and early that morning so was everybody else. After science, I went to my history class, where
Ms. Kuhn, a retired nun, had told us very calmly that an airplane accidently flew into the world trade center. We went about our normal lessons for the day: Westward expansion, prepositions (we even had a song),
and mathematics. Throughout the entire day, students in groups of five or so would get called down to the
office, yet nobody thought it necessary to inform us. I can see their rationale: living within spitting distance
from New York City, many of our parents worked in The City, and even some worked in the World Trade
Center. We were on art rotation that marking period, and at 2:00, we had finally learned what had happened. Our art teacher rolled a cart into the work area and put on the news. She told us that we were always
going to remember where we were when the twin towers fell, and when we first learned about what had
happened.
That night, my sister and I crawled into my mom’s bed and watched the television. It was like politicians watching the election returns: we were waiting to see people we knew were safe, and hear from our
family and friends. F-16s kept buzzing over our roofs, making it nearly impossible for us to get to sleep. My
stepfather was on business in Texas, and was unable to get a flight home. We were petrified.
It has been nearly ten years since America began its ‘war’ on terror. The stock market fluxuates more than a
woman in menopause, political activism is at an all time high since the Vietnam Conflict, and I get felt up
going through airport security. Yet, this is all going to come to an end, now that Public Enemy #1 has been
caught, right? The assassination of Osama Bin Laden makes it all better, right?
I hope so. Otherwise the soldier I slept with last week got the fuck of his life just for shits and gigs.
- Deepthroat
Government Funded Grant
Program Considers Video Games
Art: World Unaffected.
Spider Steadman
According to the National Endowment for the
Arts, a government funded program to aide artists to
When I was 7 my life changed forever. I got my
first gaming system, a Super Nintendo. Little did I know the tune of up to $200,000 to make something for the
that this now seemingly simple gaming device would be community, has added interactive games as a possible
setting a trend for my life and my generation in watching submission. So what does this mean? Well, it means that
the maturing of a brand new medium of entertainment. the argument has been somewhat put to rest, but mainly
I, and many others of my age, watched with awe as gam- it means Roger Ebert was wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
I read an editorial in a gaming magazine seving changed and became more intricate than we could have imagined. Over the years I’ve saved Princess Peach eral years ago in which he declared that because of the
more times than I care to remember, infiltrated top secret nature of video games, being interactivity, they could
terrorist bases as Solid Snake, Sam Fisher, and a slew of never be considered art. Giving the art over to the indinameless soldiers, and created cities, families, and roller vidual to control is, by Ebert’s standards, going against
coaster parks. I’ve felt the emotional metronome of the the point of an artist’s art. I felt there was something to
Final Fantasy world, been engrossed in MMORPG (Mas- be said about how gaming had become the culmination
of the visually beautiful, the intriguingly intricate, and
sively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game, for the
the power to sweep us in for hours at a time. However I
n00bz) worlds with more secrets than a single person
could find, and even made music with that little magi- was 13 years old and instead of thinking of a good argucal ocarina. Throughout the years my understanding of ment, I went home and played Diablo II until 6am.
Although I was unable to articulate the correct
games and appreciation for the time put in to create these worlds has grown, but there is one debate that has been argument against Ebert’s negative vibes, someone did. I
around gaming as they become more intricate and vis- watched a presentation put together by Kellee Santiago
ceral. The question is simple, the answer is not. Are video during a TED talk at USC. She is a graphic arts student studying game design and interested in how to use
games art? According to the federal government as of
games in a more interesting way. I recommend looking
recent the answer is yes.
If you’re not a gamer you may be thinking, “Who up her talk.
cares?” or if you are a gamer you’re probably thinking,
“Fucking duh they’re art, have you played Bioshock!?”
In it she argues that while video games may not have
reached their full potential as art yet, even paintings started out as rudimentary scribblings on cave walls in France.
Even though some people make silly games or games for
fun, it is a medium that does allow for original thought
and beauty. She is very correct in all of her points, and
Roger Ebert was nice enough to give her lecture a nice bit
of respect as he argued the points in his blog. The problem with these two going back and forth on the subject
is that they are both using different definitions of art.
Art, unfortunately, has no real definition that everyone
who uses the word agrees on. Roger Ebert did later come
out to say that even though he still firmly believes video
games cannot be art, he feels now after causing such a stir
he should have kept the thought to himself not having
the in depth knowledge or first hand experience with the
medium. It does take a big man to admit that, but a bigger self insistent douche to say something like that and
relentlessly argue for it after he has been proven wrong on
so many levels.
So what does this editing of the rules mean for video games? Will they get any more or less respect in the art
community? Maybe, but probably not. The people who
appreciate video games always have and always will, and
the people who don’t just don’t get it; like metal music.
The government can’t change that. Will some great idea
win the $200,000 grant? Probably not, even if they did
anyone who knows games knows it takes ten times that
amount to get started on a good video game, although
I will admit I’ve been very impressed with minimalistic
games before so the possibility still exists. All in all, it’s
one small step in a battle that ultimately doesn’t matter.
Now if you’ll excuse me, my 360 is calling my name. I was
going to upgrade to PS3 this month but we all saw how
that went.
Our Very Own Alaska Interviews Our Very Own
Deepthroat.
Alaska
Music To Bone To
Three years ago Bon Iver came
on the scene when American folk
singer songwriter Justin Vernon
locked himself in a cabin in Wisconsin
to record his debut album, For Emma,
Forever Ago. After gaining the
attention of the indie world Kanye
West took interest and Bon Iver had a
Bon Iver
heavy hand in many of the tracks on
Bon Iver
Kanye’s last album, My Beautiful Dark
Twisted Fantasy, probably last years best album. Bon Iver’s
self-titled second album doesn’t disappoint. The rustic acoustics
and entrancing falsettos that defined For Emma, Forever
Ago keep his sound constant and smooth, but a higher production value and the confidence to go further make this album a
great listen. Very easy to sink in to.
I give it 8 out of 10 inches.
Speaking of entrancing tunes
and tasty falsettos, My Morning Jacket’s
new album, Circuitual, topped my
playlist off this month. Jim James is a
unique artist worth keeping an eye on.
His musical influence is heaviest in My
Morning Jacket, but reaches out to many
other great groups like Bright Eyes and
Monsters of Folk. You may remember the
Circuitual
My
Morning
Jacket
up tempo hit from back in ‘05, Off The
Record. My Morning Jacket tends to skate the line between
driving tempos and laid back music and Circuitual carries this
torch very well. The album opens with Victory Dance, which
starts low and climaxes very well. Tracks like Wonderful (The
Way I Feel) add to the simple beauty while opus’s like Holding
On To Black Metal show a fuller sound and a more symphonic
approach. I give it 7.5 of 10 inches.
Now that finals are over, I finally had the chance to catch up with deepthroat, a professional
writing student at Purdue University. As deepthroat sat there eating jellybeans out of the pocket of a
cardigan sweater, I knew that I had picked a great candidate to interview for my first piece of my new
column, “ I don’t know, I’ll ask ‘a”
ALASKA: So deepthroat, I think the question that is on everybody’s mind is: how did you
choose your name?
DEEPTHROAT: When Spider Stedman approached me about The Literary Boner, I jumped
at the idea. When I realized that my audience was going to be a bunch of college students, and I was
going to be using a lot less of a “professional tone”. It was a unanimous decision amongst the staff to
choose pseudonyms to not risk our future careers. I’m too lazy to think of an actual creative name so I
just choose one of the words most recognizable pseudonyms; I think its pretty fitting.
ALASKA: I couldn’t agree more. What do you do at The Boner?
DEEPTHROAT: I am the writer for the section, MUSIC TO BONE TO, where I tell people
what I think about new albums. I also dabble in writing other pieces, like my reflection to Osama bin
Laden’s death and my extreme love for whiskey. Honestly though, I’m just a persona writing for my
target audience. My work is dripping with innuendos and I am in the readers face about my opinions.
ALASKA: Do you ever take your own advice, and bone to the music you request?
DEEPTHROAT: I prefer the soundtrack of sweet love making to any track. I dare someone to
find more beauty in a song than the sound of balls slapping on asses, grunts, laughs, and the gurgle of
seamen. Ew.
ALASKA: yeah, I have to agree. That was pretty graphic. I guess that’s what you get from you.
How do you decide which bands to review?
DEEPTHROAT: There are some albums that come out that are shit. There are some that come out that you just want everybody to listen to them because they are so good. I am constantly
finding new music and when Spider Stedman gives me the deadline, I look at my recently added
music and see which album is worthy of my praise. Its is a pretty simple process: choosing the right
words to say to capture my love for an album, -- that’s the challenge.
ALASKA: Do you have a particular soft spot?
DEEPTHROAT: Sadly, yes. For some reason I love female vocals. I think Jenny Lewis is a goddess. She can sing me sweet nothings and I will be on cloud nine.
ALASKA: This will be my last question, since I don’t want to keep you. Do you plan to go into
the music business once you graduate?
DEEPTHROAT: No. I mean I guess it could be cool if I ended up doing music related things,
but I just like to listen and go to shows. I don’t think I could make a career writing music reviews,
though, if I could I would. I am going to sell my soul, go corporate and be a lawyer. F M L.
Nectar of the Gods.
Deepthroat
The Universe has been playing an awful joke on me, and I’m not laughing anymore. I am a very unique individual, but there are three basic things you, trusted read
I (did not) Huckabees.
ers, must know about me. (1) I love whiskey (2) I make terrible decisions and (3) 75% of
Roget Eberta
what I say is mostly true, 25% is complete bullshit. Now that we have that taken care of, let me begin my story:
If you have a weird sense of humor this move might be for you. I really was not
A few weeks ago, I was pursing twitter, when I saw that Jack Daniel’s had released a new whiskey, Jack Daniels Honey. I read some reviews of it online, and all seemed to a fan of the movie altogether. The characters were odd and the plot was just okay. I
indicate that it was the sweetest nectar that ever touched their lips. Of course I wanted thought the best part of the movie was Mark Wahlberg which does not account for
to get my hands on it and try it for myself, being a self-proclaimed whiskey enthusiast much in this film. I am a huge fan of Mark so I get excited to see him in any movie. The
and all. However, fortunately for my abused liver, I was observing the Jewish holiday of beginning of the film starts with the character, Albert, who saves a rock from a swamp.
Passover, and thus had to abstain from drinking grain-based alcohol that week, As soon You should know if this is how the movie starts you are in for a rough time, if you can
even hold on long enough to make it to the end of the film. Aside from the characters
as Passover was finished, I went to my trusted campus packey but was horrified that
they did not have it in stock yet. Not to worry, I told myself and I went to the other store, and the plot, the soundtrack was at least decent. A popular song everyone knows, well
conveniently located 50 yards away. They were out of stock. Fuck my life, right? Can’t a should know, is “Man! I Feel Like a Woman!” by Shania Twain.
The shots of the film were nothing out of the ordinary. It was shot decently overgirl just get her drank on without interference? I had a bonfire at my house that week- end, and as I was cleaning up I found four Jack Daniels Honey shot glasses and an empty all. I did think the director, David Russell, did a fine job. Everything that goes into a
bottle. So someone was in my own house with this, and I STILL had not tasted it. I now film, such as the casting, props, plot, and the rest of the production, was just alright.
There was nothing that jumped out to me as at least some things should in a truly great
understand why guys hate my 3-date rule: anticipation was about to kill me.
film, or at least in a film that wants to be a success.
The local bars are selling the whiskey for 3.50 a shot. I’m not about to pay that.
I have still yet to taste this drink, and I’m really looking forward to it. That is why I am
proposing this:
THE LITERAY BONER “WHO ACTUALLY READS THIS BULLSHIT”
SWEEPSTAKES.
THE NEXT PERSON TO GET ME DRUNK OFF OF JACK DANIEL’S HONEY WHISKEY WILL GET THE BEST BLOW JOB EVER. REFRENCES UPON REQUEST. *
The way I see it, it’s a win-win situation
-Deepthroat
This movie is really
deep, I think she’s
missing the point.
Don’t listen to her
buddy, she’s just a
critic.
Wow, That was Graphic
Spider Steadman
I chose this months comic section pick
for a few simple reasons. First off, Transmetropolitan is thoroughly interesting and quick
witted, the writing is superb and the art is
certainly memorable. However, the most interesting part of this 1980’s classic is the futuristic metropolitan America Warren Ellis has
created, and not only that but the truly badass
torch-of-truth carrying, crass, violent, nofucks-given character he has set in that world.
Spider Jerusalem is a famous journalist who
has given up on the city he hates and locked
himself in a cabin in the middle of no where
to get away. Finding no writing fuel in his new
reclusive lifestyle, he fails to write a couple of
books he owes his publisher and is therefore
pulled back into the city looking for his next
two books. We are quickly introduced to a city
plagued by the political satire of the future,
Jerusalem’s hate for editors and deadlines, and
a world as dysfunctional as the world we live
in.
Many things popped out to me about
this comic right away that made it unique and
demanded my attention. Warren Ellis’s critically acclaimed political satire is so enriching
and the world is so futuristic this takes place
somewhere between The Watchmen and
Blade Runner. In Ellis’s future America anythign is possible through science, and not only
possible but freely available to the masses.
Anyone can practically do anything to
themselves. He definitely pushes the extent of
any “sllipper-slope theory” that has ever been
presented. The focus of the first book is a story
that Jerusalem comes across while reporting for a local paper. It involves a society of
humans who chose to genetically alter themselves to look like aliens, however the transformation isn’t complete on any of them so
they are locked into the slums and looked at as
freaks by society. Jerusalem uses his connections and give-no-fucks attitude to bring truth
to the masses and it all climaxes in a bloody
riot Jerusalem stops with his own live reporting.
This comic not only celebrates Journalism as a medium for truth instead of opinions
(something many networks could learn from)
but it celebrates a certain journalist. Spider Jerusalem is no doubt one big homage to Hunter S. Thompson. I have always been under the
impression that Hunter S. Thompson could
not have existed today like he did in the 70’s,
he would be institutionalized immediately.
Warren Ellis takes a world that has gone forward technologically, but backwards in many
other areas. Jerusalem is seen chain smoking,
doing things to deliberately piss off politicians
or the ignorant, and beating the hell out of
anyone who doesn’t accept his press pass.
This comic is worth a try if you are into
sci fi or political satire. It’s definitely worth a
try if you’re a fan of journalism or Hunter S.
Thompson. People new to comics may be put
off by the quick pace and style, but if you’re
used to it this is definitely worth a read.
Heart of Gold
Spider Steadman
A lot of people were joking about the rapture this
last week, and unfortunately some were preparing for it.
Obviously there was no rapture and our lives will continue as so many rational people were sure, however I
couldn’t help but ask myself if I’d be prepared. Without
hesitation I quickly came to the conclusion that I’d be
perfectly safe because I learned a couple of very important tips from this month’s author. Always have your
towel, and Don’t Panic. If your familiar with this advice
then you have no doubt seen or read Douglas Adam’s
Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. The most absurdly
solid advice in a universe where normalcy is not the
norm. It’s easy to say that Adam’s was best known as a
science fiction writer, but he was also known for a few
other things.
Adam’s was a firm atheist and well respected in the literary and scientific community. The Hitchhikers Guide
books pushed the limits of what is possible and allowed
us to look at ourselves from an objective position and see
just how illogical our logic really is.
While he was respected in many fields, and while
he particularly excelled in creative writing, he had many
talents and actually was quite resistant to writing. Born
in 1952 in Cambridge, England, he attended a prestigious prep school and stood out immediately due to his
taller stature and his talents in creative writing. His form
master at the time, Frank Halford, awarded Adam’s the
first and only ten out of ten in creative writing which
gave Adam’s the base confidence he needed to continue.
After receiving a Bachelors Degree in English Literature from St. Johns college in Cambridge. Having been
interested in comedy throughout college (admitting he
applied to Cambridge to become a member of a comedy
troupe called Footlights which was a breeding ground
for up and coming talent in England).
After college he wrote for such British programs as
Monty Python, Dr. Who, and other favorites before coming into his own as a writer. The Hitchhikers Guide was
originally thought up by Adams as a BBC Miniseries,
the first episode written in 1977. As it gained popularity
Adams was encouraged by those around him to write a
novel, though an interesting tidbit about Douglas Adams
is that he hates writing novels. He is famously quoted
saying, “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise
they make as they go by.” Though it took many years and
some extreme force on the publishers part, we are now
left with a fantastic five novel series that push the limits
of the possible (or even the plausible) and will make you
laugh while you question the logic of mankind.
Featured
Artist:
Nutz
Featured
Artist:
Nutz
Featured
Artist:
Nutz