1. No category

How To Get Picky Kids
To Eat Healthy Foods
by
Liz McGowen, LCSW
http://www.lizmcgowen.com
Copyright 2009
All Rights Reserved
You may email this to as many friends, colleagues, teachers and family as you wish – as long as
this document is not altered in any way. No part of this document may be reproduced or copied
without the author’s express written consent.
How To Get Picky Kids To Eat Healthy Foods
By Liz McGowen, LCSW
http://www.lizmcgowen.com
Table of Contents
Introduction
page 3
Chapter 1: Set the Stage
page 4
Chapter 2: Nutrition
page 8
Chapter 3: How to Get Picky Eaters to Actually Eat
page 12
Chapter 4: What Not to Feed Your Child
page 15
Chapter 5: Away from Home
page 20
Conclusion
page 24
How To Get Picky Kids To Eat Healthy Foods
©2009 www.lizmcgowen.com
Page 2
Introduction
This book speaks to parents and caregivers who are struggling with the eating habits of children.
Toddlers are notorious for being picky, for binge eating, and for mysterious changes in eating
habits. Older children can be equally picky eaters, and may be solidly attached to awful eating
habits.
The information here is based on my many years of professional experience working day-by-day
as a social worker (I am a licensed clinical social worker in Illinois). It is also based on my years
of experience as a parent -- both working full-time and, later, staying-at-home. These are the
strategies I have found that work for people of all income levels, in all environments. They are
also the strategies that have worked with my own three daughters as they test my parenting skills
every day.
Please know that the information in this book is in no way medical advice or a substitute for any
doctor's instructions. Your relationship with your child's pediatrician is of the utmost importance.
I hope you will share the details with your pediatrician, and discuss with him/her any questions
you have about parenting.
At times your child might need special intervention. If you have a child with special needs, or if
special circumstances arise, there may be medications, special nutrients, or procedures that are
needed. This is all perfectly acceptable – thousands of parents need extra help every day.
If you have not already done so, please find yourself not only a pediatrician but also a team of
people whom you trust - and let them help you. I encourage you to keep asking questions, and
keep looking for the methods that are the most natural and least intrusive in providing treatment.
It's quite likely that you will need more information as you try to get your children to eat, and
there are two books that I highly recommend.
•
•
The first is Jessica Seinfeld's book, Deceptively Delicious: Simple Secrets to Get Your
Kids Eating Good Food.
The second is less well-known but has more info on nutrition: The Sneaky Chef: Simple
Strategies for Hiding Healthy Foods in Kids' Favorite Meals. Both are excellent guides
with lots of recipes. This one is my favorite.
I wish you all the happiness that is possible. Parenting is both a joy and a struggle, but part of the
struggle doesn’t have to revolve around what your child eats, as you will soon see.
Before you put down this book, I encourage you to do two things:
1)
2)
Pass it along to all your friends, family and neighbors who might find it helpful.
Be sure to visit http://www.lizmcgowen.com and hang out.
How To Get Picky Kids To Eat Healthy Foods
©2009 www.lizmcgowen.com
Page 3
Chapter 1: Set the Stage
Let me begin with a little story. I grew up in a very small town in Nebraska. When I was in about
first grade, one of my closest friends was very sick and we learned that she had juvenile diabetes.
I'll never forget her mom sitting down with me and explaining the situation. As she put it, my
friend had been given a gift and it was something she could share with me. My friend needed to
become healthy. She was going to make me and everyone else around her healthier. Part of the
way we were going to do this was to only eat good foods when we were around her from then
on.
This little speech, and my friend's new habits, have stuck with me for the past 30 years. They had
a profound impact on me. I hope these words will have an impact on you, too.
You become what you think about, so you need to start thinking like this: Your child is a gift.
From now on, your child is going to make you and everyone around you healthier. From now on
your child is going to eat good, healthy foods, and so are you and your child's friends.
If you follow this simple way of life, you, your child, and your community will be better off.
In the following chapters I'm going to show you how to do this simply and easily, and how to
handle any issues that arise along the way. Let's get started.
Remember who's in charge
Until your child is old enough to choose foods for himself – and to actually purchase groceries
himself -- never forget that you are in charge.
I hear from many parents who are concerned because their child refuses to eat healthy foods,
refuses to eat meat, avoids veggies, etc. Yet, when I look at their shopping list and start asking
questions about their habits, I find that other foods like chips, candy, and sugary cereal are
readily available.
In some households, finding healthy food is a challenge. If you want your child to eat healthier,
you need to make the foods you want him to eat the most accessible.
On the kitchen table and on the shelves, let him find apples, bananas, boxes of raisins, healthy
crackers, whole-grain bread, and other snacks he can have. Let the refrigerator contain grapes,
string cheese, yoghurt, carrots, milk, and other things that are ready-to-go.
The boxes of sugary treats and salty snacks need to be stored out of sight and out of reach. Better
yet, get rid of them altogether... or at least only give them once-every-so-often.
How To Get Picky Kids To Eat Healthy Foods
©2009 www.lizmcgowen.com
Page 4
Stand firm
Once you've made the decision and taken charge, don't give in. You have taken an important step
and one that will have lasting effects on your children and everyone around them.
It is possible to make this change. I have done it, and have helped many families over the years
make these changes. Within just a couple of days, you can see a substantial change in your
child's eating habits if you simply stick with your decision.
It is likely that your decision will meet some initial resistance. If that happens, be ready with
patience and lots of extra hugs. Keep in mind that your child may be used to having lots of
processed sugar, fat, and preservatives in his diet. Removing these substances can give your
child withdrawal symptoms that can in some cases have physical effects (digestive changes,
headaches, etc.). In just a few days these symptoms will disappear and you will have a
completely different child.
Keep in mind, too, that other adults or older children in your home may cause resistance. If you
explain to them your goals (to feel better, eat healthier, and experience fewer health-related
problems caused by foods) and ask for their support, you may get far. Having this support is
quite likely to determine the success or failure of your efforts, so take time to make sure your
housemates are on-board with your plans. If they will not outright support you, then ask them to
at least not openly disagree. Once they see the results, it’s very likely they will join you.
Although every day is a time for unconditional love with your child, you may find that a bit of
extra attention is needed as you make these changes. Remember that you are not alone. Millions
of people just like you are fighting to improve their children's eating habits. Hang in there, and
before you know it you will see a difference.
It's OK to be sneaky
I'm going to come right out and say it: if you want your child to get more nutrients in her diet,
sometimes you just have to be sneaky.
There are some parents who won't like this. If you really think it will be helpful to let your child
know exactly what is in his macaroni and cheese, go right ahead. For now, however, I strongly
suggest you keep it to yourself. As your child grows older you will provide more choices, and
you will provide the "real" foods, in terms of grown-up versions and portions of foods.
My secret weapon: adding pureed fruit, veggies, or other nutrients to what kids already like. By
using this technique, you can turn nearly every food into something containing some veggies,
some fruit, or something else that is good.
If you are a member of my mailing list, you will receive recipes that include creative ways to
hide cauliflower, spinach, carrots, eggs, fish oil, and pretty much anything you like in your
child's food. There are also instructions for making your own purees in case you have never done
this before.
How To Get Picky Kids To Eat Healthy Foods
©2009 www.lizmcgowen.com
Page 5
Keep it simple
Stop working so hard. You already know what foods your child likes. She doesn't need a sevencourse meal every night. If there is one food she will eat, start with that.
If your child loves apples, let that become your "primary" food for now. Let everything relate to
the apple. It can be dipped in yoghurt or peanut butter, or sprinkled with a little flax seed meal
for protein (even a fussy eater will like this if you add some cinnamon and a bit of sugar, too).
You can make another dip that contains veggies, or you could introduce another veggie and let
your child dip.
Or, let's say macaroni and cheese is the food your child loves. You can mix so many things with
your regular mac-and-cheese mix. A little cauliflower puree, bean puree or mashed potato won't
change the flavor (my kids actually like the version with cauliflower better than plain). You can
use plain yoghurt instead of milk, and if you bake it you can sprinkle some breadcrumbs and flax
seed on top. You can use whole-grain pasta... you are only limited by your imagination.
Can you see where I'm going with this? You can create nearly anything, just using your child's
favorite foods as a foundation.
Extreme Eating
Some kids go from one extreme to the next. One day you have the infant who will eat anything.
The next day, nothing is acceptable.
Once, on a grocery shopping trip with my sister-in-law, my two-year-old daughter literally went
through the entire produce department of the unfamiliar store, pointed to everything, and loudly
informed everyone "I don't like that". While this makes for a cute story when she is older, at the
time it was horrifying. The child would literally eat only cereal and milk for weeks.
As we discussed earlier, your child is under your control. There will, however, be days when you
feel your child is in control.
Don't give in. If you have set the stage properly, dig in your heels. If you have declared that there
is no juice in your household, be prepared to be asked 20 million times for juice. There will be
begging. There may be sit-ins and other protests.
This will not last long. Once your child knows that it is useless to continue, he'll give up. After a
few days, you may have an initial request for juice, followed by calm acceptance of milk or
water as his options. After a few more days he will ask for milk or water instead.
Trust me, you can do it.
How To Get Picky Kids To Eat Healthy Foods
©2009 www.lizmcgowen.com
Page 6
As we all know, there will be times when your child goes on a "binge diet". By this I mean he
will seem to eat large quantities of exclusively one food. He will switch from macaroni-andcheese-only to cinnamon-toast-only to cereal-and-milk-only, and then...
That's OK. Amazingly enough, he will not disintegrate on this strange diet. It is important that
you do three things to maintain your sanity and his well-being. These are very simple.
1. Pick your battles. My advice is not to worry if your child goes on the cinnamon-toastonly diet. View it as simply a phase that will likely be over next week at the latest. Stock
up on what you need, and move on. Don’t fight about it.
2. Make his choice as healthy as possible. Use every opportunity to slip some additional
nutrients into what your child actually wants to eat.
3. Identify those items you just can't allow, and don't bend your rules (see Chapter 1). If you
just can't tolerate sugary cereal, get rid of it. Offer other options and prepare for possible
tantrums. It won't last long, and you will win.
In the next chapter, we'll explore what your toddler needs to maintain a healthy diet. As you'll
see, even the binge diet won't have too much of an adverse effect.
How To Get Picky Kids To Eat Healthy Foods
©2009 www.lizmcgowen.com
Page 7
Chapter 2: Nutrition
Amazingly, your child’s nutritional needs are well within control even on a "binge" diet. As
you'll see, with a little tweak here and there, you need not worry about your child's survival as
she goes through her dietary exploration.
Please keep in mind that your nutritional needs and your child’s nutritional needs are completely
separate. Toddlers are tiny. A serving size must be tailored to weight, so if your toddler doesn't
eat all her rice at dinner, consider that she may have eaten a few bites. This, in relation to her
body weight, is a "full" serving for her.
As children get older, they get nearer to needing to eat an adult-sized portion. Activity also plays
a role, so an active nine-year-old may eat you out of house and home while a sedentary twelveyear-old may not eat as much. Knowing your child and her level of activity will help you judge
how large a serving is normal.
It's quite likely that you will need more information as you try to understand child nutrition. The
Sneaky Chef: Simple Strategies for Hiding Healthy Foods in Kids' Favorite Meals is by far my
favorite book on this subject. It has excellent information on nutrition, and on how to pair one
food with another to get the maximum nutritional power.
When to eat
Your child (and you, too) should eat about every 3 hours.
This doesn't mean you need a full meal every 3 hours. You need something that contains protein
and some carbohydrate, which is a good balance for keeping blood sugar steady. A handful of
crackers with a slice of turkey is fine. A few grapes and about 1/2 cup of milk works great.
If you keep a steady stream of fuel going into your child, you will have fewer tantrums caused by
hunger. This makes life much, much easier.
The carbs-and-protein rule
Too much sugar (or carbohydrates that quickly turn into sugar in the bloodstream) can make
little monsters out of some children. It makes a monster out of me, too, and usually results in a
headache.
Anyone who has been exposed to diabetes knows the cardinal rule: always eat a protein with a
carbohydrate. This rule applies to everyone, including kids. It must become something you
follow.
Thus every snack of an apple must contain a protein (some cheese, some peanut butter, some
turkey, even milk -- something that contains protein). If you and your family are vegetarian or
How To Get Picky Kids To Eat Healthy Foods
©2009 www.lizmcgowen.com
Page 8
are on a milk-restricted diet, you already know there are plenty of non-meat and non-dairy
options.
If you ignore this rule, you will pay the price and have a cranky, unhappy child on your hands.
Protein
To figure out how much protein your child should have every day, take her weight and divide by
3. So if your toddler weighs 24 pounds, 1/3 is 8. She needs at least that number of grams of
protein every day. If she has more, which she will some days, that is fine.
Eight grams of protein is not a lot. So if she has some milk, maybe some yoghurt, and an egg or
peanut butter during the day, you're right in the ballpark. Obviously the older and larger the
child, the more protein will be needed.
This is a general guideline, not an absolute. If your child wants more protein, give it to her. As
long as it's healthy and wholesome, go for it. On the other hand, if it's deep-fried chicken
smothered in sugary sauce (like you'll find at many Asian fast food restaurants), your child is
requesting more in spite of the protein. In this case, set a limit of a couple of pieces and stick to
it!
Fruits & veggies
As far as fruits and veggies are concerned, my philosophy is all-you-can-eat. Most kids will eat
strawberries, grapes, apples and other fruits. When they're finished, they just stop eating (or they
start using them for entertainment and seeing how far they can spit them or whether the dog will
eat them). Veggies can be a little more difficult, which is why I tend to puree many veggies and
stick them into other foods that they like.
A great way to get your kids to fill up on fruits and veggies is to offer them first. While you are
preparing dinner, your kids are hungry, right? If they're like mine, they're trying to get into the
refrigerator and asking every 30 seconds when dinner will be ready -- or attempting to climb the
pantry shelves. This is when any bag of chips is a huge temptation.
Grab some carrot sticks, grapes, or whatever you have on hand, and put these out for your kids to
munch on. You'll notice this will dramatically reduce the tension. Although dips (such as salad
dressing) are fun, your kids don't need these -- let them just eat the real food and enjoy it. Then
go back to getting dinner ready.
You'll be surprised how much of the fruits and veggies your kids will consume as an appetizer,
and they might actually eat less of the higher-calorie foods that follow. I do this nearly every
day, and now my kids actually look forward to eating these fresh fruits and veggies.
What about the carbs-and-protein rule? Offer a glass of milk (or a milk-substitute if you limit
dairy) along with the appetizer. You'll also be surprised how much your child may drink (which
is good and a healthy way to fill up).
How To Get Picky Kids To Eat Healthy Foods
©2009 www.lizmcgowen.com
Page 9
Grains
Grains and cereals should be part of every meal. Whole grains are the best option, so try to find
whole grain pasta, bread, and other items as you shop.
Portion size is important when you deal with this category. As I said earlier, try to think of what
your child needs in terms of her proportion to your size. If she is ¼ your size, then ¼ of the
recommended portion listed on the package is about right. A few crackers, a small amount of
cereal, a bit of rice, a slice of bread, a few spoonfuls of noodles... these are the portions your
child needs.
There are a growing number of people who have a condition called "celiac's disease", meaning
their body cannot process gluten (gluten is an ingredient in most bread products). Basically, this
inability to digest gluten means that products containing gluten (bread, noodles, and lots of
products that are breaded) cause extreme stomach and intestinal irritation. If you believe this
runs in your child's family, or if you notice your child having digestive problems, talk with your
doctor and get help. Knowing that your child needs gluten-free products can be enormously
beneficial in avoiding other problems down the line.
Dairy
If your child can consume dairy products (there are many people who are lactose intolerant) try
to get as much into him as you can. Milk, low-fat ice cream, cheese, yoghurt -- all are great
sources of calcium, protein, and other nutrients.
Some children just don't like milk (my oldest daughter has never liked drinking milk). You can
overcome this quite easily without resorting to chocolate milk (delicious as a special treat, but
too sugary). If this sounds like your child:
•
•
•
•
There are many recipes that call for milk, cheese, and other dairy. Use these to your
advantage, offering one at each meal if you can.
Ice cream is another good option, and a good low-fat ice cream is almost always offered
as a dessert in our house.
Yoghurt, fruit smoothies made with dairy products, and homemade popsicles are other
good options.
If your child doesn't like milk, it could be that your child's dislike of milk is his natural
way to avoid something that hurts him. If you suspect that dairy products are causing
digestive problems (or if there is a history of this in your family), check with your
pediatrician. Try a week of replacing dairy products with soy-based products, and see if
there is improvement.
Drinks
Perhaps no one ever told you this, but babies don't need water. Milk contains everything they
need.
How To Get Picky Kids To Eat Healthy Foods
©2009 www.lizmcgowen.com
Page 10
Children certainly shouldn’t drink soda on a regular basis, nor do they need to drink juice. In
fact, they don't need anything other than milk and water. There are a number of reasons for this:
•
•
•
•
•
Juice (even in its purest forms) contains a lot of easy-to-digest sugar, meaning it goes
right into the bloodstream. With a real piece of fruit, small pieces go into the body, get
broken down, and then the sugar is distributed more gradually.
Juice is fruit stripped of its fiber. That means when you eat an apple, you not only get the
nutrients of the apple but you get the fiber. This is good for your body. With juice, you
get no fiber.
Because of the way juice is consumed (via a cup) it goes right onto the teeth. And it sits
there causing tooth decay. Again, eating a real piece of fruit offers chewing opportunities
with less sugar staying in the mouth to rot teeth.
Many brands of juice contain lots of added sugar. Even the brands you might think of as
very wholesome may not pass the test when you read the label.
Containers also cause concern. The plastics used to line juice boxes, pouches and bottles
are processed with chemicals. I prefer to avoid exposure to chemicals as much as
possible.
So, instead of juice, give your kid fruit. It's much better for her body to process, and eating a
piece of fruit is much more interactive -- with lots of colors, textures, cool sounds (like
crunching) and tastes to explore.
OK, that's it for my sermon on nutrition. Let's move on to the most crucial element -- how to get
all those nutrients into your child!
How To Get Picky Kids To Eat Healthy Foods
©2009 www.lizmcgowen.com
Page 11
Chapter 3: How to Get Picky Eaters to Actually Eat
Eating, much like everything else in a child’s life, is an experience. Most of the fun is how the
food gets there. If your child gets stubborn and won't eat, here are some things to try:
The "mooch method"
Have you ever noticed that the food on your child’s plate goes untouched... but the food on your
plate is like gold? If this is the case, go with it. Try a more communal-style of eating, where
there's a big bowl of fruit or a veggie tray for everyone to eat from.
Or, if you are comfortable with this, go ahead and let your child pick what he wants off from
your plate. As you know from breaking up fights caused by not sharing, the concepts of
ownership and privacy don't apply in the child world. You have plenty of time to teach your
child to dine with the Queen of England. For now, get him accustomed to eating good things.
Allowing the "mooch" method for now can alleviate a lot of frustration.
Stop forcing it
If you're trying to get your child to eat foods that are better for him, make the change gradually.
Provide some old foods that he likes, and introduce the new foods as you can. If there are new
foods that he doesn't like, reintroduce them in a few months and see what happens.
Be completely sneaky if you have to
If your child insists on eating only Frosted Flakes but you don't want him to, you could just stop
buying Frosted Flakes. But let's say that breakfast cereal plays a big role in your morning
routine, and having a temper tantrum over the issue just isn't something you want every morning
for the next week.
There's nothing wrong with being sneaky. Just switch what's inside the box. Find a cereal that
has lower sugar content that you can live with, and make the switch.
One of two things will happen: He will like the new cereal and continue to eat it, or he will
decide that he doesn't like Frosted Flakes as much as he thought and will request something else.
Either way, you win.
Take your child to a salad bar
Have you been frustrated when cleaning out the fridge as you throw away the fruits and veggies
that you wanted your kids to try?
Or have you ever watched your child order a new food at a restaurant, knowing she'll hate it
(while you know you'll hate paying for the uneaten food even more)?
How To Get Picky Kids To Eat Healthy Foods
©2009 www.lizmcgowen.com
Page 12
Instead of trying new foods after buying large portions, go through the salad bar and get a few
samples. If your child wants more now, you have an ample supply right at the salad bar. If
something receives a good reception, then you know it's safe to go ahead and buy more the next
time you shop.
This is also a wonderful alternative to restaurant food on a night you don't want to cook. Go
through a salad bar or a buffet bar and make a little feast. It's much better than lots of fried foods,
and it won't be any more costly.
Eat better yourself
I'm going to be quite honest: I think what some parents do is unfair. They have a cheeseburger
and fries or go through the drive-thru for tacos, but expect their kids to eat their veggies. If you're
not going to take the time to eat what's good for you, why should your kids?
If you follow the mooch method, if something is on your plate then that food just became the
most appealing food in the world for your child. So, eat better yourself and see whether your
child will follow.
Let your child participate
If your child isn't eating, maybe he's ready to do more himself. Show him how to make his own
sandwich. Then it becomes delicious.
Let him help prepare dinner. My mom started me off by putting me in charge of the salad, and I
do the same with my kids. Let them pick out what will be in the salad, wash, chop, mix, and get
everything ready. Once it’s on the table they will definitely eat it.
Do be sure, if your kids are often in the kitchen with you, that you keep your little food secrets to
yourself if they will cause a mutiny. You may not want them to see what you add to the
scrambled eggs, but you can always send them on a quick errand while you do it!
Vitamins and nutritional supplements
I recommend that you speak with your pediatrician about vitamins – particularly if you are
concerned about how much nutrition your child is getting every day. There are many excellent
supplements out there, but it's my policy not to try to encourage you to buy something without
your pediatrician's input. Personally, we're a "Flinstone's Chewables" family.
Something that I will highly recommend to you, however, is fish oil. Cod liver oil, in particular,
is something I give my kids at every opportunity. I take it myself, too, and have since I was a kid.
Yes, it's yucky, but the rewards are worth it.
There are two forms of cod liver oil -- capsules and liquid. The liquid can be plain or flavored
(usually with lemon). I simply put a few drops of the liquid into other foods my kids will eat.
This works out fine with smoothies (the lemon flavored cod liver oil even adds something my
How To Get Picky Kids To Eat Healthy Foods
©2009 www.lizmcgowen.com
Page 13
kids like), soup, macaroni and cheese... pretty much anything that you can mix and that has a
strong flavor of its own. I encourage you to experiment. Just be careful and put only a few drops
in. If you put in too much it will taste fishy.
Many people swear by other types of fish oils, with shark oil seeming to come out the winner
according to what I've read and what my friends have told me. While this is great, my goal here
is trying to give you options that are reasonable and fairly inexpensive. Shark oil is extremely
expensive ($30+ per bottle) and hard to find, whereas cod liver oil is inexpensive and available at
most pharmacies and health food stores. I'd suggest starting with the cod liver oil and, if you use
it and like it, consider making the more expensive purchase after you've already used a bottle of
cod liver oil.
How To Get Picky Kids To Eat Healthy Foods
©2009 www.lizmcgowen.com
Page 14
Chapter 4: What Not to Feed Your Child
There are certain foods that you should eliminate if you also wish to avoid behavior problems. In
this chapter you'll find my basic suggestions on what not to feed your child (or anyone, for that
matter). This is heavily based on my own experience with raising three girls, as well as
information I have researched and the advice of family and friends.
The relationship between food sensitivity and behavior
Each child has her own internal program, including the foods that are her "triggers". These foods
can be a significant contributor to behaviors that make life more difficult for your child.
Closely related to food allergies, food sensitivity triggers a physical reaction. That reaction, and
its severity, is different for each child depending on her physical makeup, the overall
environment, and the concentration of the "trigger" food.
In her work on food allergies, Dr. Doris Rapp (www.drrapp.com) describes each child as an
empty cup. Each child's natural sensitivity to chemicals fills the cup to an unique level to start.
The allergens and "triggers" in the child's environment (such as chemicals and toxins in cleaning
products, fragrances in laundry detergent, substances in toiletries, etc.) then contribute to filling
the cup a little more. The foods the child eats (and the chemicals within these foods) tops off the
cup.
If the child is already very sensitive to certain foods, lives in an environment with many toxins,
and/or eats lots of "trigger" foods, the cup overflows. The overflow is the tantrum, or the other
unwanted behavior.
This is real
I have to admit that once upon a time I paid little attention to my kids' diet. Our whole family ate
pretty much what we wanted - a diet heavy on convenience foods partly because that's what we
felt we should eat and that’s what we felt we had time to prepare.
Then, when my middle daughter was about 18 months old, I began to notice that my lovely,
even-keeled child suddenly turned into an unstoppable jumping bean who screamed for no
apparent reason. Unlike her older sister, this child could literally change from calm and cool one
moment to biting me the next. I began to notice that these episodes happened after she had eaten,
and that some days she was fine but others she was terrible.
One night while putting her to bed, she literally couldn't stop her arms and legs from moving.
She was so tired and wanted so much to go to sleep, and eventually collapsed after about an hour
of struggle. Another time my lovely girl went to the park, had a chocolate donut with sprinkles,
and went crazy... she had to be hauled from the park kicking and screaming.
How To Get Picky Kids To Eat Healthy Foods
©2009 www.lizmcgowen.com
Page 15
Eventually I found by eliminating certain preservatives from her diet, I can drastically limit the
number of episodes (aka, tantrums) she has. The same is true of my other kids, who have fewer
headaches, mood swings, and sleep problems.
I've gone through so much to find this out, and the many of the other parents I know whose
children have food sensitivities have struggled even more. My hope is that I can help you
understand the impact food has on our toddlers, and what you can do about it.
How to control the ingredients in your child's diet
The lesson I learned from all this: read food labels.
My own simple rule is if you don't understand what's on the label, don't buy it. This will
probably, at first, be a major undertaking for you. You'll be surprised how many foods are not
what they seem.
Here’s an experiment for you. When you shop this week at your usual store, see if you can not
buy things that have additives, preservatives or dyes. Take a look at what's already on your
shelves, and set aside those that contain ingredients discussed here. You can very likely find
alternatives made from natural ingredients or simply stop eating that food.
What Not to Buy
I've found it easiest to include the names of the ingredients I don't want right on my shopping list
(I use a wordprocessing template since I frequently buy the same things from week to week).
That way if I hand off the list to my husband at the last minute, I can be assured that he knows
what to avoid.
You could do months of research on the topic of what foods you should not eat, but I’ve boiled
this down into the most important key areas to avoid: Preservatives, artificial colors, and
artificial flavorings. Here are the details.
Preservatives
These ingredients are listed on the labels of foods, often farther down in the list with the
"contains less than 2%" items. I recommend that you try to not bring home foods with the
following preservatives:
•
•
•
•
•
•
Sodium benzoate
Calcium propionate (common in bread)
TBHQ
BHA
BHT
MSG
How To Get Picky Kids To Eat Healthy Foods
©2009 www.lizmcgowen.com
Page 16
Artificial Colors
You will find "red dye" and "yellow dye" ingredients listed on food labels. They might be listed
as "Yellow No. 5" or as "FD&C #5". These products are made from crude oil (aka, petroleum,
the source for gasoline), and are not good for your system.
Annatto is a common natural food color, derived from plants. There are many reports of this,
although natural ingredient, causing behavior problems. If possible, you may also wish to add
this to your list of "don't buy". It's often found in cheese and yellow-colored foods like crackers.
Artificial Flavorings
In today's highly processed foods, chemicals create the flavors. If possible, it is wise to avoid
these as much as possible. In particular, beware of a vanilla-flavored chemical that is used in a
wide variety of desserts called "vanillin". It is a waste product that you just don't need.
What to Buy
Meat
Meat should be meat. If the label says it contains things you can't identify - and you'll be
surprised how many meats have juices, flavorings and preservatives added to them - then leave it
alone.
This can make buying some things, like hot dogs, very difficult. I recommend the following:
•
•
•
If you can, just buy something else.
If you really must have hot dogs, buy them at an organic store where you feel confident
that the product is safe.
Another option that I sometimes use is to buy meat that is kosher or halal (fortunately I
live in an area where these meats are an option). These meats are processed under strict
guidelines because of the religious views of their intended consumers and, as a result, I
feel more comfortable that the processing is clean and safe and that they are free from
unnecessary ingredients.
I'm very careful about the meat I allow my children to eat, because of my own ethical and safety
concerns. You'll hear my complete diatribe on the subject in the next chapter... so let me move
on for now.
Produce
It's my opinion that a vegetable should be a vegetable. Fruit should be fruit. If you buy foods that
have already been processed (such as carrots, apples, etc.) be sure to read the label and make sure
there aren't hidden ingredients. You may be very surprised.
How To Get Picky Kids To Eat Healthy Foods
©2009 www.lizmcgowen.com
Page 17
Seasonings and condiments
Salt, pepper, flour and butter are fine -- as long as they are real. Read the labels of other items
you might use as substitutes and sort out those containing preservatives, added colors and added
flavors. You may find the salt mix, the spreadable margarine, or the pancake mix has some "not
to buy" ingredients on your list.
Condiments -- ketchup, mustard, relish, barbecue sauce, salad dressing, etc. -- are an area to keep
a close eye on. Be aware that ketchup can contain a whopping amount of sugar, as can the other
condiments. Salad dressings are notorious for containing awful ingredients. I personally prefer to
make my own salad dressings, and my kids like to experiment with the ingredients.
Drinks
I can't say this enough: milk and water are perfect beverages. Many juices have added colors -after all, bright orange or neon blue are not natural juice colors. If you can keep juice to a
minimum, your kids will benefit.
If you really believe that your child won't drink water (you'd be surprised, they actually will),
squeeze some lemon, lime, or orange into it for flavor. Tastes great, and much better than juice.
Shopping suggestions
When you start to shop, focus on the areas around the edge of the store - where you'll find
produce, dairy, and meat. You may need to detour down an aisle for pasta or rice, but try you'll
find the middle aisles contain lots of processed foods.
The Feingold Association offers an extremely helpful shopping guide. Their little book is very
comprehensive, listing brand-name foods, frozen foods, and literally every type of food you
might want or need. The ingredients have already been checked to see whether the food is "safe"
and free from artificial ingredients. The guide is part of the membership fee (most recently it was
$65 per year with other benefits), and is something you might want to consider.
I have great respect for the Feingold Association and their mission. Although I disagree slightly
with a few points, the organization does offer marvelous support and resources for children with
behavior problems. You're a smart, competent parent so I know you can make the decision for
yourself as to whether you need their guide. You can find more information at
www.feingold.org.
Treats
There are treats you can buy that are made from real ingredients, or you can make things
yourself. Certain brands of ice cream, chips, pretzels and other snacks are all-natural. Real
chocolate and real vanilla are available (beware, the brand of chocolate chips you buy may
contain "vanillin", a toxin). I often make up a big batch of cookie dough, put it in the refrigerator
or freezer and bake up a few cookies as needed.
How To Get Picky Kids To Eat Healthy Foods
©2009 www.lizmcgowen.com
Page 18
Sugar
Refined sugars can be a problem for some children. I suggest sticking to the absolute basics for a
few days with no added sugar or sweets. Once you have gotten used to eating real foods, you can
add some sugar or a natural sweetener (such as honey) in limited amounts and see what happens.
If there is no change in your child's behavior, then sugar may be a "safe" food.
Artificial sweeteners, in my opinion, fall within the "don't buy" foods list. These sweeteners are
made with chemicals that simply don't need to be in the diet. If your child becomes hyperactive
with sugar, try sweetening foods with fruits, sweet potatoes, raisins, honey, etc.
If your child is sensitive to sugar, then I highly recommend you discuss this with your
pediatrician at your next visit. If there is a family history of diabetes, you may wish to meet with
a nutritionist and/or have extra testing done. You also need to pay close attention to the carbsand-protein rule so that your children don't get used to experiencing the "sugar roller coaster" in
which they have big highs and lows in blood sugar levels. This is hard on their kidneys (and
frequently comes with extreme mood swings).
As I said earlier, your child might experience "sugar detox" if he is used to a diet with lots of
sugar. He might be very grumpy, have more tantrums than usual, or experience other side
effects. It will pass shortly, but be prepared to provide extra love and understanding. When
needed, use my advice on temper tantrums found on this site. Before long, your child's whole
personality may change as all the sugar leaves his system.
Sample meal plan
A very basic sample meal plan as you get started is this:
•
•
•
•
•
•
Breakfast is toast with butter, peanut butter or cheese, and a glass of milk.
Morning snack is some cheese, crackers, and milk.
Lunch is a couple of turkey slices (all-natural lunchmeat or leftovers), bread and butter, a
piece of fruit, and milk or water.
For an afternoon snack, some fruit with yoghurt for dipping, and milk or water.
Dinner is an "appetizer" of sliced apple and carrot slices, followed by meat (broiled and
seasoned with salt and pepper), some bread and butter, a baked potato with salt and
pepper, and milk or water.
For dessert, some ice cream or yoghurt, with some milk before bed.
You can easily branch out from here, using all natural real foods. I hope you'll try this for a few
days (perhaps over a break from your normal work/daycare routine) and see if you notice a
change.
How To Get Picky Kids To Eat Healthy Foods
©2009 www.lizmcgowen.com
Page 19
Chapter 5: Away from Home
No parent can keep a child in a bubble. Going to restaurants, babysitters, and school are just part
of everyday life. This chapter provides tips for helping you avoid problems when your child is
out in the big world.
Let others know what you want
Remember, you are in charge. You need to talk with the others who share responsibility for your
child's care, and let them know if you have changed your child's diet. After all, these changes
may make their lives so much better since your toddler will be easier to be around!
For example, if you believe that your child will no longer be as difficult to control if grandma
doesn't give him the bright red juice, then talk to grandma about this. The benefit is that things
become vastly easier for grandma because your child won't be misbehaving. You can point out to
her the success you've had at home. Perhaps she's already noticed a change.
Provide a different beverage for a week (such as milk), ask grandma to use only that beverage,
and see what happens. Let her know of other changes you've made, and ask her to help.
Believe me, I know how difficult this can be. When family members give your kids unlimited
access to sugary cereal, Twinkies, and neon juice, it can make you crazy. There have been times
when I've been accused of being the over-protective parent, the tree-hugger, or pretty much
anything you can think of.
But let them experience the on-the-floor-screaming-until-you-lose-your-voice tantrum that you
know will happen, and suddenly you're not so crazy after all. Hmm. You'll be that overprotective tree-hugging mom who sure knows what she's doing!
So have the conversation, and save your kids the tantrums. Not having to bring home a case of
Twinkies will be worth it in the long run.
Find out what's on the menu
It's very important, particularly before your child is able to use words to express what he will or
will not eat, that you remain well informed about the food being offered to your child.
Obviously, providers need to be aware of any food allergies you know of. It is also very
important that you let others know about ingredients you don't want your child to have.
Be prepared to educate others about this -- including other parents and school personnel. Don't
assume they also avoid these foods. It may be that they aren't aware of the harmful side effects.
When one of my daughters was still in daycare, I noticed that she was having tantrums a few
minutes after we started home, and they matched the pattern of one of her food reactions. By the
time we'd reach our house, she would be in full-blown tantrum mode.
How To Get Picky Kids To Eat Healthy Foods
©2009 www.lizmcgowen.com
Page 20
Upon talking with my daycare provider, I learned that every day before pick-up, the kids had
crackers and milk. She had recently bought a couple of boxes of crackers that were on sale, and
together we read the label. These crackers (although almost exactly the same as the other brand
she usually used) contained TBHQ (a preservative that caused lots of problems in my daughter's
behavior). We switched brands, and the tantrums went away.
If you are noticing crabbiness, tantrums, aggression, or other problematic behaviors, go back
through your child’s day and find out what is happening. It could be that you pick him up just
before the snack happens at daycare -- so he's hungry. Handing him a quick snack while you get
his coat and shoes on (or delaying your pickup time by 15 minutes so he can eat snack at
daycare) might eliminate 30 minutes of tantrum-time from your day. Or it could be that the snack
contains something you believe is a "trigger" food -- so a 10 minute conversation with your
babysitter could save you (and others) hours of frustration.
Now that my girls are old enough to be in school, I always hand them a snack when I pick them
up in the afternoon. It’s usually something fairly non-glamorous (like an apple), but it sure does
make life easier. They munch away while we get into the car and drive home, and it’s just
become part of our routine.
Tips if you send food with your child
If your child is in school I encourage you to keep a close watch on what your child is having to
eat during the day. I prefer to send lunch so I can be in control of what my kids are eating.
Keep in mind that your child only needs small portions. I find that smaller portions of a variety
of foods is better for younger children, rather than a larger portion of just one or two foods. A
typical lunch for my kids at preschool age was a bread-and-butter sandwich (for some reason
they preferred to eat the fillings separately), a slice of turkey and a slice of cheese, a tiny box of
raisins, a small apple, a handful of cheddar crackers, a bottle of water, and one small piece of real
chocolate or a small cookie.
As my kids got older, they became more involved in packing lunches. There is no reason why,
with your supervision, your kids can’t get lunch ready for themselves by the time they are in
second or third grade. Putting a sandwich, some yoghurt, a piece of fruit and a bottle of water
into a lunchbox isn’t beyond their capability. Even salads or what seem like more complicated
items are really quite manageable.
I have found this also makes my kids more likely to eat their lunches. If my daughter is able to
prepare even part of her lunch at home, she is more excited about it at lunchtime. Or, consider
sending along things that are interactive for your child at lunchtime. A sandwich is even more
fun if you get to put on the butter, the ham, the cheese, and eat it all yourself. The same goes for
anything that can be dipped - like carrots in ranch dressing (a favorite even with my older kids).
If you'd like more ideas for school lunches, there are more ideas in cookbooks at your local
library and bookstores, as well as magazines, that can give you simple ideas that you can use or
adapt to your children's tastes. My advice is to keep it very simple.
How To Get Picky Kids To Eat Healthy Foods
©2009 www.lizmcgowen.com
Page 21
Meat in school lunches
Before leaving the subject, let me mention one of my personal concerns with school lunches:
meat. If you have read the book Fast Food Nation you'll know exactly why I'm concerned. If you
haven't read this book yet, run (don't walk) to your local library and get a copy. It will forever
change the way you view meat.
Let me just say that I am extremely careful about the kind of meat my family consumes.
Although I can't afford to buy completely organic foods, I scrimp and save to be able to buy as
much of my meat as I can from reputable, organic providers who can assure me of the food
safety measures taken during slaughter and processing of their meat.
During warmer months, I try to buy meat as often as possible from a provider at our local
farmer's market who raises her own cattle and then has all the meat processed on Monday
mornings (after the facility's cleaning on Sundays).
As far as I'm concerned, the meat used in school lunches is questionable at best. My children are
too valuable to eat something that may not be good for them, so I try to provide them with the
best I can. I hope you will find this is true, too.
For more information on school lunches (and a great look at how parents are taking on this
issue), visit www.twoangrymoms.org or the work of "Renegade Lunch Lady" Chef Anne Cooper
at www.lunchlessons.org.
Tips for eating out
When my oldest daughter was little, I discovered how awful eating out can be with a toddler. It's
such a huge change from eating out as a couple - and many new parents may never have
experienced this (and the frowns of waiters). Here are a few tips for handling eating out with a
toddler (or a child who is difficult at meal time):
•
•
•
•
Ask for what you need. Even the most upscale restaurants will, on request, be happy to
make a child something special. If your child must have cinnamon toast today, then ask
the waiter if that is possible. Most will have a fresh fruit cup that can be tailored to your
needs if you ask.
On the side... Ask for noodles to be served plain, with sauce on the side. Ask for salad to
be served in the same way (or ask simply for a few cucumbers and tomatoes if you know
that lettuce will elicit a loud "I don't like that").
Make the most of the salad bar or buffet. Kids absolutely love to see the way food is
prepared and served, so lift your little one up if necessary. Remember that words to
young children are new -- your toddler might not remember that spaghetti is something
she likes but she might be able to point to it if she can see it!
Allow "mooching". Instead of ordering your child his own meal, just ask for an extra
plate and share. This is a wonderful opportunity to try new foods. If mom is having fish,
dad is having a steak, and there are different kinds of side-orders, give your child a
spoonful of everything and see what goes over best.
How To Get Picky Kids To Eat Healthy Foods
©2009 www.lizmcgowen.com
Page 22
•
•
•
•
Don't sit too long. If you want a quiet meal and a talk, get a babysitter. Any meal with a
child younger than seven is going to be short and may require lots of entertainment. A
trip to the restroom to wash hands while waiting for the meal to arrive, a walk over to
look at a fish tank after your toddler has finished -- all can allow the others at the table
(and nearby) to finish their meals without interruptions.
Bring something to do. Although many restaurants commonly have kids' menus and
crayons, don't bet on it. Bring along a little bag with a couple of crayons, a small
notebook, a doll, or perhaps a small travel puzzle or game. These can all be fun ways to
stay entertained (and to stay out of trouble). I keep a bag with "extras" in the trunk of the
car - it has extra hats, sweaters, crayons and paper, and a few toys just in case plans
change at the last minute.
Bring wipes. Your child is likely to get messy. A little baggie with a couple of baby
wipes may come in very, very handy.
Never, ever, ever wear white. In fact, I always try to buy clothes with patterns and colors.
A shirt with butterflies will camouflage a mashed potato stain much better than a plaincolored shirt.
A special note on fast food restaurants
Fast food is part of our culture. A trip to McDonald's or Pizza Hut is something all of our
children enjoy, and we parents often enjoy a break from cooking, too. One of the appeals of
many fast food restaurants is that they are kid-friendly. Some offer play areas, and you don't
have to worry about your kids being themselves (a little messy, a little loud).
While it's important to consider that the food at many fast food restaurants can be loaded with
additives, preservatives, dyes, and processed sugar, most of the time you can find a reasonably
healthy option or two.
There is another factor about eating at fast food restaurants that I'd like to mention if you are
trying to limit your child's exposure to chemicals. If you believe that your child might be
chemically sensitive (e.g., he acts wild or aggressive after being in contact with cleaners,
fragrances, or other toxins), be aware that the cleaning supplies used in the fast food environment
may send your toddler over the edge.
The disinfectants used to clean counters, tables, and other areas are very strong -- often stronger
than the ones used in the home. The detergents used to clean the floors give off a strong odor that
may be a problem. The fumes from the drive-thru window may come into the restaurant via
doors or windows. The play area may get regularly hosed down with disinfectants.
Whatever the case, be aware of the signs. When your child gets unusually wild in the outdoor
playground that has been freshly sprayed down with detergents and that is next to the drive-thru,
you'll know why.
How To Get Picky Kids To Eat Healthy Foods
©2009 www.lizmcgowen.com
Page 23
Conclusion
As parents, I know that we sometimes look at our children and think to ourselves, “Will it ever
get better?”
Whether you are dealing with health issues, behaviors, emotional difficulty or something else,
eating better makes a huge difference. It just helps you and your child feel so much better.
When I started this project to improve my children’s diets, I did so because they were suffering
from headaches, temper tantrums and behavior problems. Today, so many years later, things are
so much better.
Sure, we have our ups and downs just like every family. But eliminating the unnecessary items
like preservatives from my children’s foods makes them so much more even-tempered. Making
sure they fill up first on things that are good for them helps all of us.
Recently, my oldest daughter was over at a friends’ house for a play date. She and her friend
decided to make up a batch of yoghurt smoothies for a snack. You know what she did, and what
she told me later? She actually read all the labels on the items they included (just like she sees
me do every day). Based on this, they decided to sweeten the smoothie with a low-sugar jam
rather than sugar (something that is a brilliant idea).
Years ago, I never thought I’d be able to say this. Based on my 9-year-old, who is taking
responsibility for her food choices and choosing to eat wisely even around her friends, it already
has gotten so much better.
I wish you and your family all the health that is possible. You can do it.
-Liz McGowen
PS: If you enjoyed this book, I encourage you to do two things:
3)
4)
Pass it along to all your friends, family and neighbors who might find it helpful.
Be sure to visit lizmcgowen.com and subscribe to my blog. You’ll find lots of other
fun things, and we can hang out. You might also enjoy the “Elephant Manifesto” and
my e-course on toddler tantrums (both found there).
How To Get Picky Kids To Eat Healthy Foods
©2009 www.lizmcgowen.com
Page 24