1. food and drink
2. desserts and baking

How To Host a Great Dinner Party at Home
Author: Joanie Williams
© 2007 All rights reserved
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Introduction
Your most burning questions
This ebook came about because of the answers many of you
gave to a little dinner party survey on my website,
www.thedinnerpartyplanningsite.com
I asked people what I thought was a simple question. “What is
your most burning question about giving a dinner party?”
Your responses were real eye-openers. I’m glad I checked out
your real questions instead of what I thought you wanted to
know. Otherwise, I might have given you answers to a bunch of
question you weren’t even asking. ☺
I expected that most of the questions would be about recipes
and cooking.
To my surprise, most of the questions were about staying
organized, and about proper etiquette or protocol. There were
some questions about menus and some other miscellaneous
questions. But overall, your two main concerns seemed to be
about being organized enough to throw a dinner party without
exhausting yourself, and about proper dinner party etiquette.
About this ebook
So in this book you find the information you need to deal with
both those concerns. You get information that lets you stay
organized. You get practical answers to your dinner party
planning and etiquette questions.
In other words, you get the information you need to feel
confident about hosting dinner parties. It is the information that
lets you host dinner parties you can enjoy right along with your
guests.
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And – it is the information you need to start giving dinner parties
a soon as next weekend!
Section 1 takes a close look at how we live today, as opposed
to the etiquette world of the Victorians, our grandparents, and
even our parents.
Section 2 demystifies the true spirit of etiquette – and gives
you the three key secrets of etiquette. It turns a spotlight on
what the words “dinner party etiquette” conjure up for many us,
and why we need to replace some of those notions about
etiquette with ideas that work in today’s world.
Section 3 reveals why being organized is half the battle of being
a poised host or hostess. It gives you a practical, down to earth
checklist to keep you organized so you can feel poised and at
ease that you are in control of your dinner party.
Section 4 plunges right into your etiquette questions about
formality, invitations, and choosing a menu, including the
etiquette of serving wine.
Section 5 delves into your many etiquette questions about
setting the dinner party table properly, and how to seat your
guests and yourselves around your table.
Section 6 takes us into the world of host and guest etiquette. It
covers questions about proper arrival times, what to do with
unexpected guests, hostess gifts, and many other host/guest
questions.
The Conclusion summarizes the main points of this ebook.
Special Bonus Section
To thank you for ordering, I am including two great bonus
sections after the regular sections These bonuses will give you
some extra special help in getting ready to throw your dinner
party as early as next weekend.
Bonus #1 gives you a simple way to set a beautiful table, one
that works for almost every dinner party occasion.
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Bonus #2 gives you a practical menu you can use for your
dinner party, one that is delicious but won’t overwhelm you with
last minute work.
So again, thanks for ordering, and be sure to fill out the
feedback section at the end.
Now let’s get to work, so you can host that great dinner by next
weekend.
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Section 1 –Etiquette for Today
It’s true that this ebook is largely about getting organized and
knowing proper dinner party etiquette. But that’s not where
we’re going to start. To talk about guidelines that work for
today, we need to start with you.
In this section I want to convince you of a simple truth that can
set your mind at ease. Here it is.
Good hosts and hostesses know that you need to give a dinner
party that suits your particular life circumstances. You don’t
need to worry about how people in different circumstances do it.
For example, most of us don’t have lots of money or lots of help.
Most of us don’t have any help!
You just need to give the kind of dinner party that you can
afford. And by “afford” I mean how much time, and how much
energy you can afford, not just money.
The first thing to look at and size up is not whether you know all
the archaic rules of etiquette. The first thing to look at is your
personal living situation.
To be poised and pleased about your dinner parties, you need to
work with the situation you are actually living in. Whether you
have a partner to help you, a friend who will act as host or
hostess, your work schedule, kids, all these things make a
difference. They directly influence the amount of energy give to
hosting a dinner party.
Judging from the emails I received, most people don’t have tons
of money, lots of time and nothing to do but plan dinner parties
and other treats. It’s far more likely that they live busy lives.
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Like this:
Married or living with a partner and you both work:
You’re married or living with a significant other, both of you
work, so all the preparation for entertaining has to be fitted in
after work and on weekends. And it’s so much work if you’re not
sure how to organize it efficiently.
Single, widowed, divorced and working:
You’re single, widowed, divorced, and working. It can be really
exhausting to have people for a sit-down dinner without any
help. Take-out with pretty paper napkins might be more like
what you can manage, but it doesn’t feel right. You want
something a little more special.
Older, more tired, or maybe not in perfect health:
Maybe your stamina or health or both are not as high as you
would like. So it’s a real challenge to throw a special dinner,
especially if you still have lots to do on the day of the dinner
party or at the last minute.
Young, stressed out working single:
You’re a young stressed out single who works long hours and
never learned the proper rules of formal dining anyway.
No household help:
You don’t have any servants, and you can’t borrow any from
your friends for the evening because they don’t have any either.
In fact you don’t even know anybody who has household help,
except maybe an occasional cleaning person.
Small amount of tableware and furniture:
Maybe you have moved from another city and you don’t have all
the “stuff” that your parents and grandparents might have
accumulated – like 12 place settings of china. Or you immigrated
from another country and couldn’t bring all that “stuff” with you.
Or you just haven’t accumulated it for whatever reason.
Not used to eating a lot of heavy food:
Perhaps your eating habits have changed over the last five, ten,
twenty years. You tend to eat fewer courses, and your food is
not as heavy as it used to be. But you don’t want to serve too
little food to your guests. How many courses are enough these
days? Most of us would blanch if we had to eat five or six or
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seven courses in a couple of hours. But you certainly don’t want
to appear miserly in the amount you serve.
OK so obviously most of us modern folks fit into one or more of
the categories above. And most of us would flinch at the idea of
single-handedly serving up an old-fashioned, five-course formal
dinner with all the crystal, china and different wine glasses for
every course.
We wouldn’t want to try serving a lot of courses, overstressing
ourselves and blowing the entertaining budget.
What we have in common with dinner parties of the past
Still, we do have something in common with dinner parties of the
past. Times may have changed but human nature doesn’t seem
to change quite so fast. We’re still social animals. We still love
the idea of having our friends and family around the table. We
still want to give those dinner parties
We like to gather around the table, to enjoy having delicious
food with our family and friends. And we still want to make the
table look lovely, the food taste wonderful, and our guests feel
welcome.
Most important, we want our dinner parties to be events where
we can enjoy ourselves and feel good about giving people a
great evening.
And we can.
We just need to do it on today’s terms, dealing with the reality of
our lives in the 21st century.
Recap
Let me summarize the important point I have tried to get across
in this section. It is important because it is an essential part of
being at ease as a host or hostess.
To host on today’s terms, you need information that is useful for
entertaining in today’s world. When I talk about today’s world
I’m not thinking of the world of the ‘50’s, where middle class
women often stayed home after marriage and men went to
work. I’m not thinking of Victorian days where anyone with a
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little money had servants, and the lady of the house never went
out to work.
I’m thinking about a world where many adults work outside the
home. I’m thinking about a world where you may have long
commutes to your job. I’m thinking about a world where many
of you have commitments to family, older parents, and children.
Maybe you’re an urban professional in a demanding job with long
hours. Maybe you live away from your family, and can’t call on
experienced relatives with your questions about hosting a dinner
party. Maybe you’re older, and would love to entertain a little
more if you could do it without wearing yourself out.
You are the kind of people I am writing for. Rest assured, I’m
not assuming that you have the luxury of poring over thick
etiquette books with complicated rules of behaviour. I’m not
assuming that you have tons of money, lots of servants and
huge amounts of time on your hands.
So let’s get on with Section 2. It explains why the old-fashioned
rules might not be relevant, but that the spirit of etiquette is the
same today as it was a hundred years ago. And - how to rid
ourselves of some unnecessary ideas about etiquette and replace
them with ideas that work in today’s world.
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Section 2: The heart and soul of true
etiquette
Three etiquette secrets
Sometimes the real point of etiquette gets lost in a jumble of
rules about where the forks should go or who gets seated where.
But the point is not where the forks go or who gets seated
where. The point is that people learn the guidelines so they can
feel at ease. They can feel that they are doing the right thing
and aren’t embarrassing themselves.
The “right thing” changes depending on local customs, the era
you live in and the formality or informality of your group of
family and friends. But what doesn’t change is what etiquette is
really about - what the heart and soul of politeness is. Knowing
this fact means that you know the one infallible rule of etiquette
– the rule that lets you adjust all the little rules and customs if
you need to.
Etiquette Secret # 1
Putting your guests at ease is the heart and soul of
dinner party etiquette
But how can you put your guests at ease if you are not at ease
yourself? This simple question leads us to Etiquette Secret # 2
Etiquette Secret # 2
Organizing yourself helps to put you at ease so you
can put your guests at ease
And the last important secret to being at ease:
Etiquette Secret # 3
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Knowing etiquette for today puts you at ease so you
can put your guests at ease
So you see that that etiquette is all about putting your guests at
ease. If putting them at ease means you modify the etiquette
rules, so be it.
In fact the rest of this ebook is dedicated to giving you many
ways to make sure that you are at ease yourself, and that you
can put your guests at ease.
Dumping old-fashioned ideas about etiquette
It’s important to get those old-fashioned ideas about dinner
party etiquette out of our heads. That way we have space for
modern ideas. So let’s start thinking about what comes into your
head automatically when you hear the words “dinner party
etiquette”.
What does dinner party etiquette mean to you?
When you say the words dinner party etiquette, do you
immediately visualize a stuffy formal dinner at a long table with
a lot of guests? Do you visualize rows of candelabras marching
down the table, and a truly baffling assortment of knives, forks
and wine glasses? Are the men sporting tuxes and the women
dressed in long gowns and glittering jewels?
Would you look at those knives, forks and wine glasses and
think, “I wouldn’t know which one to pick up first”?
Or maybe you start thinking about scenes from old movies –
people wearing opera gloves to dinner and using separate forks
for the fish, the salad, the cake, almost everything, it seems.
Imagine having rules about how to serve five, six or seven
course dinners. Never mind the rules, imagine being the one
who has to serve those seven course dinners – by yourself.
Yikes!
Do you automatically associate “dinner party” with formal tables
full of matched place settings of expensive china?
Do you think you need three or four different kinds of wine
glasses, expensive crystal, and fine linens to give a “proper”
dinner party?
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Or maybe you would think, “This is so silly. I can’t be bothered
with all that old-fashioned nonsense”. That’s fine for state
banquets, presidents and people like Queen Elizabeth.
A lot of people think that when they give a dinner party they
have to do it the old-fashioned way. They should have place
settings of expensive matched china, masses of flowers and
tableware, and at least five or six courses. And to top it all off,
they have to sit up straight and behave formally, whatever that
means.
One woman who emailed me even wondered if she should send
her toddler off to the grandparents overnight when she had
dinner parties.
So if you automatically think formal and fussy when you think
dinner party, you’re far from alone.
Why so much of old-fashioned etiquette won’t work for you
But I can’t and don’t want to give these kinds of dinner parties,
and I bet you don’t want to either.
In fact, I would say - don’t even try to reproduce the “state
banquet” kind of event at home single-handledly. Your
grandparents didn’t do it by themselves. They had help.
When you have help and time you can have more formal
procedures. But we don’t live like that. So many of their
etiquette rules just don’t work for today’s living.
For starters, I don’t have the money to live as if I have servants.
I certainly don’t have the kind of household help you need to pull
off one of those banquets – for that matter I don’t have any
household help.
Besides a lot of these scenarios are based on rules for the
lifestyles of past generations. Many of these rules are what we
now associate with stiff and stuffy etiquette.
I hope I’ve convinced you that you don’t need to follow a lot of
complicated rules when you have your dinner party. Next we’ll
start looking at what does work for today.
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But before we leave the etiquette of the past, let’s enjoy a quick
look at how they lived in the “olden” days before World War II.
Some of the older etiquette books are fascinating reads. They’re
a glimpse into the past, and they tell us a lot about growing up
in our grandmother’s world.
Here are some examples of what I mean by ‘rules for another
generation’. They worked then, but now they are just interesting
glimpses into a lifestyle most of us don’t share. They’re three
fun examples of rules most of us don’t need anymore
Fun Example #1: Glove Rules for dinner parties
Glove rules said that ladies may choose to wear long gloves
when gentlemen wear white ties. But they should be removed
and placed in the lap while eating. There – now you know…
So if your partner shows up at your dinner table in white tie and
tails, rush off to the bedroom and put on your opera gloves. But
be sure to take them off to eat. ☺
Fun Example 2: Pass the port to the left
How many people pass the port to the left anymore? How many
people even know that rule – or that it was supposed to prevent
people from drawing their swords? For that matter, how many
people ever serve port, period?
It may be fun to know about this glimpse into another world.
But that’s a rule we probably don’t need to worry about at our
dinner parties, don’t you agree? ☺
Example 3: Wine glasses for every kind of wine
What? A wine glass for sherry, a wine glass for champagne, a
wine glass for white wine, a wine glass for red wine, a wine glass
for dessert wine, a wine glass for brandy or liqueur, a glass for
water?
Well if you have six people at dinner, that’s 42 crystal glasses to
wash at the end of the evening.
That’s fine if you have a kitchen maid or two.
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That’s not fine if the kitchen maid is you. Your dinner will be a
little less elaborate, won’t it? And your guests will still be just as
happy. ☺
Now to summarize.
The heart and soul of etiquette is in your attitude - that you
want to put your guests at ease.
No etiquette rule is written in stone. When lifestyles change,
etiquette rules change too. People these days are at ease with
much simpler rules. We don’t need old fashioned etiquette to
host a great dinner party at home.
Remember, the older etiquette books were written for a time
when labor was cheap and people who entertained generally a
lot of household help. Most middle class and upper class women
didn’t work outside the home so they had plenty of time to
supervise the production of a fancy dinner, and get dressed up
to host it. They weren’t rushing home from work and trying to
get everything ready in that slim hour before the guests arrive.
Not all past rules are gone of course. Some are still with us in a
more relaxed form. And we’ve had to invent some new ones to
adapt to our modern situations.
A good thing too since today’s world is very different from our
grandparents’ world. The modern family is different too. We
need etiquette rules that are adapted to our stressed and harried
lives.
I hope you feel comfortable with the idea that hosting a great
dinner party at home does not need to mean hosting an oldfashioned, formal dinner party.
Let’s go on to Section 3. Here you get a great organizing tool to
make sure you have covered everything you need to think about
when you host a dinner party at home.
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Section 3 – A printable checklist for
organizing your dinner party
This section gives you a practical and very easy way to plan
ahead and organize your dinner party and make sure you don’t
miss anything, like our poor hostess who had to rush out for
sugar at the last minute. It’s a tool for making you at ease.
It’s a good, simple, workable plan in checklist form so you can
print it out. It will help you to cover off all the details of getting
your dinner party together.
Modify it if you like, but just be sure your changes include a plan
that covers all the details below.
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Your Checklist
About two weeks ahead
□
□
Invite your guests
choose a menu* including alcoholic and non-alcoholic
drinks
□
□
□
list the ingredients for each dish in the menu
check your cupboard to see what you already have
divide your list into buy ahead (like wine and food staples
you need) and
□
items you have to buy in the last day or two (like fresh
meat, produce, store-bought dessert).
□
□
don’t forget to include table flowers on your list.
shop for the buy-ahead items, crossing them off your list
as you bring them home and put them away
□
do a practice setting of your table and attend to any jobs
such as ironing a tablecloth, polishing some silver, or shopping
for any missing tableware items
Last couple of days
□
do the major cleaning of the rooms guests will see or use
(this is no time for a complete spring cleaning of the entire
house)
□
□
□
prepare any make ahead dishes
finish the shopping
set the table for real
Day of the dinner
□
do final cleaning of bathroom, clean the kitchen, run and
empty the dishwasher
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□
□
□
□
prepare the hors d’oeuvres
set up the music
set up the pre-dinner drinks
find a vase and a candy dish to be ready in case you get a
hostess gift of flowers or candy
□
finish cooking
*Choose a menu that includes some make-ahead and/or store
bought dishes such as dessert.
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Sounds simple doesn’t it? Just get a plan and follow it and
everything will work.
Well, it is simple. That is, if you do it!
If you only do it halfway, you may find yourself uneasy and
tense throughout the evening.
But if you’ve covered everything, if you make the plan and follow
it, guaranteed you will be well rehearsed and ready for the
curtain to go up.
Can you see how your solid plan does you a big favor in relieving
stress, how it makes you relaxed and poised as a host or
hostess?
Can you see how having a simple but solid plan that organizes
you contributes to the spirit of true etiquette?
You’ve enlisted the three secrets of etiquette to work for you.
Here they are once again:
Etiquette Secret # 1
Putting your guests at ease is the heart and soul of
dinner party etiquette
Etiquette Secret # 2
Organizing yourself helps to put you at ease so you
can put your guests at ease
Etiquette Secret # 3
Knowing etiquette for today puts you at ease so you
can put your guests at ease
So let’s move straight on to Section 4. Here we’ll plunge right
into your questions about formal versus informal dinner parties,
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the “proper” way to handle invitations, how to choose a menu,
and the etiquette of serving wine.
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Section 4 – Formal or Informal, Invitations,
Menus, Wine Questions
Should my dinner party be formal?
It’s not really about how formal your dinner party should be.
We’re not a very formal society any more. It’s more about how
special you want it to be compared to an everyday dinner at
home.
Sometimes you will just want a casual dinner with friends. It
might even be pizza and paper serviettes.
But in this ebook we’re really talking about the times when you
want to give a dinner party. You want to step up the nice factor
and make your guests feel that you value them enough to make
a special effort.
What makes a dinner party special as opposed to formal
Certain items telegraph to your guests that they are being given
special treatment. Here are some of those “telegraphs” in
today’s society:
•
•
•
•
•
•
Tablecloths and cloth napkins
Candles on the table
Flowers on the table
Wine with dinner
Special food
Soft music
If you can handle all of these items, you are serving up a special
evening for your guests. It could be candles and flowers on your
patio table on a summer evening. Or it could be gleaming silver
and crystal on your dinner table on a winter evening.
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But in both cases, you have gone out of your way, not to be
formal, but to tell your guests that they are special.
By the way, be careful about the music you choose. Make sure it
is background music. Some people find even soft jazz subtly
jarring because it can be less than soothing. Remember that this
is not a concert. It is a dinner party. Your guests, not your
music, are the stars.
Invitations
What’s the protocol for inviting people?
First, no matter what method you choose for inviting people, be
sure to invite them well ahead of time.
Some of my emails said talked about how hard it was to get
people together.
These days, people’s lives are so busy you should give them two
or more weeks notice even for informal dinner parties.
Advance notice is even more important if you are only having six
people. If one couple declines, you still have time to invite other
people to round out your table.
If you find out that someone has a food allergy or special
regime, you can make adjustments to your menu in plenty of
time.
Can I invite people by phone?
Certainly. Telephoning is simple and efficient. It gives you a
chance to check right away whether your guests have any food
preferences or allergies. It also gives you a chance to suggest
how you would like your guests to dress. Perhaps this time you
want people to dress up a little more than usual. It’s easy to give
them the lead by saying something like “Let’s go a little dressy
this time instead of our usual casual. I’ll be wearing….”
The advantage of mailing invitations.
These days it is not necessary to formally mail out invitations.
But sometimes you may feel like sending out printed invitations
just for the fun of being a little more formal. Most people enjoy
opening the mail and finding a dinner invitation instead of junk
mail. They can prop their invitation up on a mantel or on their
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desk and enjoy anticipating the dinner party every time they
glance at it.
There are lots of choices of invitation styles in the stationery
stores. Choose one that has a space for date, time, RSVP
request and space to set a deadline for replying. If directions to
your house are complicated, choose a style that gives you room
to give enough details on how to get to your place.
Address the envelope only to the person you are inviting. If you
are inviting a couple, mention them both on the envelope.
Why to avoid asking for Regrets Only.
For your own peace of mind, make sure you set a deadline for
replying. But don’t use an invitation style that asks for Regrets
Only. The sad truth is that some people may not get around to
sending their regrets. You assume they are coming so you shop
and set the table to provide for them. So ask for a response one
way or the other.
Why not try an online invitation service like Evite.com?
Another option is to send an online invitation. You can send a
simple e-mail, but there are online sites that offer a little more.
Sites like www.Evite.com let you send out invitations by email.
Then you can keep track of responses on a special web page.
Your guests can see the guest list as well, and they can
download directions to your house if necessary.
Feel free to follow up a print or on-line invitation with a phone
call. You can tell your guests how happy you are they are able to
come. Then you can check on any food preferences or alerts
they may have, and mention dress code.
These days any of these inviting methods is acceptable for all
but the most formal of dinner parties.
However you invite people, make sure you have their responses
well in advance. When you know who is coming, you can move
ahead with your tasks smoothly and efficiently. You can start
ticking off menu planning, shopping and many other advance
tasks in plenty of time.
How do I make sure that people actually show up at the
dinner party?
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If you haven’t heard from them by about a week before the
event, don’t be shy about calling and asking if they are coming.
Menu Etiquette
Is it OK to include store-bought food in my menu?
Absolutely, definitely yes.
Be guided by your energy level and the number of helping
hands. Think of how a good restaurant is staffed. They have a
pastry chef, a sous-chef, an executive chef and so on.
Do you have all those chefs in your kitchen? I didn’t think so. If
not, don’t give yourself grief by thinking you ought to make
absolutely everything from scratch.
It is a courtesy to your guests to keep the work of serving as
simple as possible. Plan your menu so your guests can enjoy
your company instead of feeling uneasy that you are always
jumping up and down or disappearing into the kitchen.
Remember too that you only need one or two starring dishes,
the others should be supporting actors.
Appetizers, rolls and bread and desserts are all excellent
candidates for “store-bought”. They require little preparation
beyond putting them on trays or in baskets.
How many courses should I serve, in what order?
Here’s a simple menu outline for a home dinner party that
should offend nobody’s sense of etiquette.
1. Appetizer
Serve something you can make in advance and lay out in the
living room before guests arrive. It’s thoughtful to include a nonfattening choice like vegetables and dip in case any of your
guests have a problem with rich items.
2. Salad
Some people serve salad before the main course, some serve it
with, and some serve it after. Your decision should be based on
this – what is easiest?
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For me, it’s easiest to serve it along with the main course. In
other words, I serve it as a side dish. I think of this salad as an
extra vegetable, not as a star dish in itself.
3. Main course
A traditional choice that works well for most people is a serving
of meat or fish, accompanied by vegetables and a starch such as
rice or potatoes.
Choose something that won’t keep you fussing in the kitchen
away from your guests. Stay away from dishes that require
elaborate last minute stirring or garnishing.
Bread or rolls are welcome during this course as well. Big eaters
may appreciate the extra starch.
If you are serving meat or fish and there might be a vegetarian
among the guests, make sure to have a generous amount of a
hearty side dish the vegetarian can enjoy. Check out recipes on
the web if you don’t know any yourself, or ask a vegetarian for
suggestions.
4. Dessert:
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with serving a store bought
dessert. You can lay it out on a tray ahead of time. Who doesn’t
like fruit and chocolate served on a pretty tray?
Wine Etiquette
How do I know if I’ve chosen a “good” wine?
Choosing wine is like choosing food or clothes. You need to
choose a bottle of wine that suits you personally.
If you will be drinking it, you should like it. All the rest of the
food and wine “rules” for your dinner party aren’t rules at all,
they’re just guidelines.
If you don’t have a choice in mind, this is a good time to learn a
little more about matching wines with food by asking at your
local wine store.
Decide in advance what you will be eating before you go to the
wine store. Now you can use two items as guidelines for
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matching your food and wine: the weight of the dish, and the
flavors. For example, if you are serving a light fish dish try
picking a wine that is light and see how you like this food and
wine match.
Weight for wines just refers to alcohol content. Light means
about 8 to 10 percent alcohol. Medium-bodied means about
10.5% to 12%, and full-bodied means about 12.5% to 16%
alcohol.
The next consideration is the flavor and texture of your dish.
Sweet dishes should be matched with sweeter wines, heavier,
saltier and more robust dishes should be matched with more
acidic wines.
Again, though, you don’t need to make yourself into an expert
before you throw a dinner party. Just ask the wine store staff.
That’s what they’re paid for.
How much should I spend on a bottle of wine?
Here’s a good way to put anxiety to rest about how much you
pay.
If you bought a bottle of wine that cost $100.00 and you hated
the taste, would you call that a “good” wine? Maybe someone
else thinks so, but it’s not a good wine for you if you don’t like it.
Why not start at or near the bottom end of the price list and try
wines that are good value for money. Then if you are feeling
rich, you can try wines in higher price brackets. But whatever
the price, as long as you like it, you are off to a good start.
What color of wine should I serve with what dishes?
Generally speaking, people choose white with lighter-weight or
paler dishes, and red with weightier dishes. But remember
again, these are only guidelines. If you are hosting, and not a
wine expert, just use these food and wine guidelines, unless you
know your guests have different preferences. But these
guidelines are always acceptable.
An interesting point to remember here is that if you are serving
a highly flavored dish, you should match the wine to the
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strongest flavor, even if it isn’t in the entrée. Otherwise your
flavored dish will overpower the wine.
If you don’t care for a whole range of wines – say you don’t care
for white wine, but you want to serve a white wine for your
guests, just ask for a recommendation at your local store. Again,
be prepared to tell the staff what dish you are serving with the
wine.
How much wine should I plan to buy?
A regular bottle of wine is about 25 ounces or 750 milliliters. So
if you serve about 5 ounces per drink you can plan on about 5
glasses per bottle.
About two to three glasses of wine per person is a safe estimate.
You probably have an idea if your guests are very light drinkers
or would enjoy up to three glasses at dinner. If there are six of
you at dinner, three to four bottles should be fine, and likely you
will have some left over.
Now let’s move to Section 5 where we delve into your questions
about table setting, and seating your guests.
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Section 5 – Table Setting, Seating and
Serving Etiquette Questions
Table Setting Questions:
What is the proper way to set a dinner table?
How do you use those charger plates we see in all the magazines
these days anyway?
What if I don’t have enough matching place settings?
Should I use special forks for salad?
Do I need bread and butter plates or special plates for salad?
What about using flowers on the table?
When should I use candles?
Are paper napkins ever OK?
What if you don’t have enough seating or matching place
settings?
What is the proper way to set a dinner table?
Should you use candles, flowers, salad plates, special forks for
salad or fish?
What should you clear after the main course?
When you’re setting the table, aim for simplicity.
I’ll say it again. Aim for simplicity.
You don’t need an array of knives, forks, and glasses. When you
have lots of time and you feel like branching out into more
elaborate table settings, yes by all means have some fun then.
But for now, here’s a perfectly acceptable way of setting your
table at home. It has an element of style but doesn’t require a
ridiculous amount of work or cutlery.
The general rule is that if you have more than one of a knife or
fork or spoon, place them in the order you will eat the courses,
starting from the outside and working in.
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Setting the table step-by-step
•
Centre the dinner plate in the place, about an inch up from
the edge of the table.
•
Put a serviette on the plate with the edges to the right –
the same way you would place a book in front of yourself to
open it and start reading
•
Put the fork to the left of the dinner plate
•
Put the knife to the right of the dinner plate with the
sharp edge turned in towards the plate
•
If you are using spoons, say a soup spoon, place it to the
right of the dinner knife
•
If you are serving a dessert that uses a fork and spoon,
put the fork at the top of the dinner plate with the tines facing
right, and the spoon above the fork with the spoon bowl facing
left
•
Put a water glass above the knife
•
Put a wine glass to the right of the water glass
That’s it! You have a perfectly fine and proper arrangement of
cutlery, glasses and plate.
How do I use charger plates?
Charger plates are all the fashion these days. (When I was
growing up my mother called them service plates.)
They are really just decorative plates that you put underneath
your eating plates. Remember, you never put food directly on
charger plates.
Note about charger plates from my dinner party website:
“Charger plates are large decorative plates that sit directly on
the table (or tablecloth or placemat). They are sometimes called
just chargers, or service plates or underplates.
Whether you call them charger plates, chargers, service plates
or underplates, you never place food directly on them. You place
dishes containing food, but no food goes on the charger plates
themselves.
There is both an aesthetic and a practical reason for using
charger plates.
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The aesthetic reason is that charger plates add formal elegance
to your table. They convey that certain “hang the cost if it adds
beauty” attitude.
The practical reason is that they may protect the table linens
from spills.
Strangely enough, they don’t have to be made of fine china. In
fact you will see charger plates made of such varied substances
as china, leather, terracotta, wood, even plastic.
When I was a girl my mother and grandmother used charger
plates for the first course only. Usually it was soup. They were
always removed with the first course. Never ever do I remember
them being left on for the main course.
Today the rules are a little more flexible. In fact it seems you
can make your own rules. A quick search on the web reveals
that etiquette mavens have highly different answers about when
to remove them.
So go ahead, use your beautiful charger plates however you
prefer. If you want an easy rule of thumb to add to your TableSetting-Basics guidelines, you can remove them before the main
course.
But don’t worry if you don’t follow the rule of thumb. And if your
friends comment, just tell them that etiquette gurus say you can
use them many different ways.” Not enough place settings
I do have eight matching plates but I prefer a dinner party of six
most of the time. That’s because I do my dinner parties singlehandedly, and I find that six is a number I can handle
comfortably. For me, having eight people requires extra advance
planning, such as choosing a menu where the main course is a
one-dish course.
There’s a lot of jumping up and down to serve dinner, even if
you are very organized. Still, most of us can handle six or maybe
eight people unless we have extra help.
But you should be sure to limit the number of guests you invite
to a sit-down dinner to what you can handle, based on your
fitness, energy level and whether you have a partner or helper.
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So set your own limits. Just be sure you are realistic about your
own situation.
But don’t let the number of dinner plates you have limit your
guest list. Put your mind at ease. Your guests are unlikely to
worry if you don’t have all matching dinner plates. They’ve been
there themselves! They would be worried if you didn’t have
enough food to put on the plates. ☺
You probably have four matching settings, because most
tableware comes in sets of at least four. What to do if you need
two to four more?
If you need two to four more dinner plates, and they won’t all be
the same, remember you will be putting matching napkins on all
your plates. So your napkins will “tie the plates together” as the
fashion stylists say.
Here are some practical suggestions:
Buy some plain white plates about the same size and shape as
your other plates. Now you can intersperse them with your
regular tableware. It will look like you planned it that way.
Buy some plain colored plates that pick up a color in your regular
tableware. This will look even more coordinated and stylish.
Borrow some dinner plates if you don’t want to buy any. But to
keep yourself organized, try to borrow them ahead of time so
the table is completely set by the time guests arrive.
If you are going to be truly bothered by these solutions, then
have a smaller dinner party, or buy more of your regular
tableware. But I don’t think for one minute that you should
worry about having all matched dinner plates.
Remember, it’s chic these days (and maybe even good for the
environment) to not have tons of stuff you hardly ever use.
Special forks, bread plates or salad plates
Personally, I make the salad part of the main course so I rarely
use separate salad plates or forks.
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Extra cutlery and plates mean extra items to clear when it is
time to move to the next course. To me, this is the most
important factor in making your decision about using them.
Really, I think you just shouldn’t burden yourself with these
extras unless you aren’t bothered by the work involved in
clearing them. If you do choose to use any of them, probably
salad plates and forks are the first choice. Bread and butter
plates are the least useful, since everyone can use their dinner
plates for their rolls.
Again, the general rule is to limit the amount of work for
yourself. You can present a very pretty table by using lovely
colors and flowers. You don’t need tons of extra plates or cutlery
for the effect.
Keep things nice but simple, because that way you keep yourself
at ease.
And good etiquette needs a relaxed host or hostess.
Candles, flowers and centerpieces
Candles and flowers lend that special grace note to your table.
They tell your guests that you have taken some trouble with
your dinner party, and make them feel welcome and special.
Now that’s good etiquette!
Just be sure to follow these two guidelines when you choose the
flowers:
1.Keep the flowers low so they don’t block the guests’ view of
each other
2. Use unscented flowers. Scented flowers may bother some of
your guests, and their aroma will compete with the aroma of
your delicious food. The food needs to win!
A low bowl of flowers, two white or cream colored taper candles
in sparkly candlesticks on either side and you have a centerpiece
that works for every occasion. Just make sure that the shape of
your flower bowl is similar to the shape of your candlesticks. And
make sure that your candlesticks and flower bowl both have
about the same amount of formality or informality. It could be
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jarring to see an informal country wooden flower bowl with cut
glass or crystal candlesticks.
Paper Napkins
These days it’s pretty simple to find inexpensive napkins you can
toss in the washer. Paper napkins should be a last resort unless
you are eating outside. If you do use them, try to find some
pretty patterns so they don’t look like your everyday kitchen
napkins.
Seating Questions
Who sits where
The who sits where guidelines below are designed to put you at
ease, and to put your guests at ease.
As a rule, you should seat yourself and your helper closest to the
kitchen. This makes it practical and easy for you to slip into the
kitchen without disturbing the guests. There is no need to seat
yourselves at either end of the table if it is more convenient to
seat yourselves close to the kitchen. Those seating rules were
great when people had staff to serve the dinner, but not always
workable today.
If you are using a rectangular table, take a seat at the head if it
is convenient for serving. Guests are often reluctant to sit in
places that they feel belong to the host or hostess.
To make your guests at ease, assign them seats. You can do this
by putting little place cards at the seats, or just show them their
seats as everyone approaches the table. This way your guests
don’t feel “goofy” that they might be taking someone else’s
place.
When you are assigning seats, consider putting shy people next
to talkative people. Two talkative people may be annoyed by
each other claiming the floor, and two shy people together may
not be able to sustain a conversation.
Should I use place cards?
Place cards are nice if you have the time and the inclination to
make them. But if not, tell your guests where to sit. They will be
more comfortable if you assign a place than if they have to
wander in and guess where to sit.
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Where does the guest of honour get seated?
Usually a male guest of honor is seated on the right of the
hostess. A female guest of honor is seated on the right of the
host. If in doubt just put your guest of honor on the right of one
of the host or hostess.
Do the host and hostess have to sit in special places?
Be guided by practical considerations. Normally you would sit at
either end of the table. But if sitting in other places makes it
easier to serve, do it. Just mention casually to guests as you sit
down that this arrangement makes it more convenient for
serving and clearing. This will set their minds at ease, because
we mostly do expect the host and hostess to occupy the ends of
the table.
Should you separate married couples?
Yes, as a rule, separate them. This leaves each of them freer to
contribute to the conversation as an individual.
And if they happened to be quarreling before they arrived,
separating them at the table may prevent them from keeping up
the quarrel!
Not enough seating
If you are worried about having enough seating, maybe you
need to invite fewer guests.
But if you are just worried that your chairs don’t match, or that
you have to bring in kitchen chairs – don’t worry! Remember
your guests are your friends, and often your family. They have a
pretty good idea of your situation and won’t be surprised or
dismayed if you don’t have a private banquet hall in your home.
Serving questions
How do you serve the food?
It’s nice if you can prepare each individual plate in the kitchen.
That way you can arrange the plates the way you want them to
look.
But it’s also a lot of work and time-consuming. The food can cool
off while you organize six or eight servings.
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So feel perfectly free to put platters and bowls on the table and
have guests pass them around.
Clearing after the main course and dessert
After the main course clear all the dishes, serving dishes and the
butter, salt and pepper. Leave the candles and flowers.
Clear dessert if there is a mess visible from the living room.
Otherwise, just serve coffee and guests can take it into the living
room. This is easier than moving all the coffee paraphernalia into
the living room.
Stack the dirty dishes in the kitchen, or at the most, rinse and
pop them into the dishwasher if you can do it quickly and
quietly. Don’t start washing anything.
This is a time when guests may feel they have to help you clean
up. Don’t let that happen. Join them in the living room as quickly
as possible.
Now let’s move on to Section 6, to your questions about host
and guest etiquette.
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Section 6 –Host and Guest Etiquette
Questions
Your Host/Guest Questions
You had many many questions about behaviour of guests and
hosts. You had questions about arrival and before dinner,
questions about how to behave during during dinner and
questions about after dinner. As you see from the list below,
they covered a lot of territory.
So let’s get to work on the answers.
What time is it OK to arrive?
•
What do you do with unexpected guests?
•
Should you open hostess gifts?
•
How to get guests talking to one another
•
Should appetizers be served in the living room?
•
Should I provide plates for appetizers, or are napkins
enough?
•
Should you give your guests party favours?
•
Is it OK to leave your guests alone while you prepare food?
•
Should guests help?
•
How do you get guests out of the kitchen?
•
How do you get guests to go home?
•
What are the etiquette rules for being a guest?
“Proper” arrival times
Arriving early: Plan to arrive no more than five minutes before
the invitation time. Walk around the neighbourhood for a few
minutes if necessary. It’s hard on the host if the doorbell rings
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when he still has shaving lather on his chin or she is in the
middle of finishing her makeup.
Arriving late: Within ten or so minutes after the invitation time
is considered “on time”. If you are going to be more than 10
minutes or so late, call and alert the host/ess. They may need to
slow down on cooking a dish.
Arriving very late: Guests who arrive very late – forty five
minutes or more, should recognize that the dinner may go on
without them, especially if you did not call. If you arrive in the
middle of dinner, don’t expect to be served the courses you
missed. Just apologize quietly and sincerely, and slip into your
seat.
Of course a kind host or hostess may be able to put a plate in
front of you that was waiting in the oven. But that’s a bonus, so
don’t expect it. You may have to just join in wherever the others
are in the sequences of dinner courses.
Other guest questions
Unexpected guests
It is really unfortunate if you are having a sit down dinner and
someone brings an unexpected guest.
If it happens, just do your best to accommodate. Frustrating as
it might be, remember that the soul of etiquette is to put people
at ease.
Your other guests will know that you have been put in an
awkward situation and will have silent sympathy for you. If you
accommodate as smoothly as possible they will also have silent
admiration for you.
Squeeze in an extra place setting using whatever dishes you can
muster. If necessary give the unexpected guest your place
setting and use kitchen dishes for yourself.
It’s always a good idea to have a little extra food anyhow. If you
are serving a roast it probably won’t be a problem. Or you can
divide your steak and give half to the unexpected arrival.
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In any case, you probably have a good idea of whether your
friends are the kind of friends who might bring someone
unexpected with no warning. If you are serving steaks to 6,
buying enough for seven makes sure you can handle this kind of
emergency.
If you have friends who constantly do this to you without
warning, then avoid the problem. Don’t invite them to dinner.
Or only invite them when you can stretch your arrangements
without any trouble.
Hostess gifts
Hostess gifts are typically items like wine, flowers and
chocolates. It is thoughtful of people to bring them, but you
need to be ready to receive them graciously. This applies
especially to cut flowers.
This means planning ahead for a vase and scissors in case you
need to put flowers in water. Getting out a candy or chocolate
dish just in case makes it easy to open and put out these
delicious treats without ransacking your cupboards under stress.
If you get a gift of wine, you may wonder whether you serve it,
even though it may not necessarily “go” with your menu. There’s
no one right answer here. It’s your call based on the individual
situation. Strictly speaking you have been given a gift and it is
up to you whether to serve it or not.
Yes, sometimes guests bring bottles that simply don’t go with
what you are serving. You can try thanking your guest and
saying that you will enjoy their wine the next time you cook
(name a suitable dish).
But sometimes there is more than etiquette involved. Sometimes
you will sense that courtesy and sensitivity to the guest’s wishes
are better guides than being a stickler for the wine guidelines.
If you think your guest might be offended that you didn’t open
their gift, or is anxious to try the wine he or she brought, here’s
a happy compromise: Put what you had planned to serve along
with the gift bottle from your guest on the table. People can
choose their preference and your guest can enjoy tasting the gift
bottle.
Party favors
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There is absolutely no need to give your guests party favors. You
are already giving them dinner!
If you want to, then by all means do it. But remember you may
be starting a trend that could grow out of control. So think twice
before adding party favors to the list of items that grow the cost
of giving a dinner party.
Getting your guests talking to one another
It is inevitable that you will have to leave your guests while you
do last minute cooking and serving. Before you do, just make
sure you have started the ball rolling between guests.
If you have invited people who don’t know everyone, plan ahead
for an introduction that leaves guests a “conversational hook” to
let them start chatting. For example, “This is Joe, he has just
moved to our neighborhood this year. The house prices were
quite a surprise to him”. If your community is like most, that
should get the real estate talk going!
It is particularly useful to other guests if you know your guests
have something in common. For example, you could say, “Meet
Mario, he is a great fan of skiing, just like you. Mario, tell Pete
and Mary about your ski trip to …”
An introduction that gives guests a natural conversational lead-in
makes you more comfortable too about leaving your guests for a
few minutes.
Should appetizers be served in the living room?
Yes, serve your appetizers in the living room if you can. There
are a couple of advantages to taking this route.
You can lay them out in advance so there is no last minute
scrambling after guests arrive.
You don’t need to worry about clearing a first course from the
dinner table.
Guests can choose how much food they want to consume before
the main course. People with smaller appetites or on diets can
control their intake without making any fuss about it.
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Should I provide plates for appetizers, or are napkins
enough?
It depends completely on what you are serving. If the food
doesn’t require the support of a plate, don’t worry about it. And
this is one place where paper cocktail napkins are perfectly
acceptable. Choose a pretty color or a sophisticated pattern to
lend a little pizzazz.
Should guests help?
The answer is a qualified yes.
Why qualified? Because sometimes the answer is yes, and
sometimes it is not.
If you are hosting the party on your own, you should certainly
accept offers of help. Most guests will feel tense instead of
relaxed if they see you working yourself to a frazzle while they
sit and do nothing.
If you and a partner are hosting, you may wish to do everything
yourselves, or just accept a small amount of help.
After all, you have invited your guests so they can enjoy
someone else cooking and serving dinner. If you put them to
work too hard, they will resent it, especially if they don’t expect
much help when you dine at their place.
So if you decide yes to the question of should guests help, be
prepared. Plan your answers carefully. Be ready when guests ask
what they can do to help.
Here are some suggestions for “safe” jobs to give guests:
Don’t give a guest a job that isolates him or her from the
company. Whatever a guest does, it should be short and sweet.
In other words, only assign jobs guests can complete in a minute
or two. Don’t isolate a guest in the kitchen stirring your sauce
for fifteen minutes. (Don’t isolate yourself, either, make a
different kind of sauce that doesn’t take as long!)
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Have everything the guest needs to do the job at hand. For
example, if you ask a guest to open the wine, don’t leave him or
her to root around in all your drawers to find the corkscrew. Plan
ahead, and make sure the corkscrew is laid out near the wine.
Give the guest a job that frees you up to do something
else. Don’t give a guest a job that you have to supervise. You
could probably do it faster yourself.
Usually this means giving a guest short, self-contained jobs.
Lighting the candles is a perfect example. Of course you have
already laid out the matches.
Give the guest a job that has to be done at the last
minute, or during the meal. Some tasks simply can’t be done
in advance, like pouring the water, or clearing the main course.
When your guest Martine asks you what she can do, you could
say “nothing at the moment thanks, Martine, but can I ask you
to pour the water just before we sit down? I’ll let you know when
it’s time. Or – nothing at the moment thanks, but I would really
appreciate a second pair of hands when I start to clear the main
course.
This kind of answer accomplishes two things. It gets you the
help you will need in a few minutes, and it puts Martine at ease.
By offering she has established that she is a thoughtful guest.
She doesn’t have to worry the way she might when she sees you
trying finish all the last-minute jobs yourself. Now she knows
what "her" job is, and she is comfortable with knowing that she
will be helpful when water-pouring or table-clearing time comes.
One of your guests may be someone who you know is shy but
seems eager to be helpful. Often this kind of person is
comfortable taking on a job. It gives him or her a role, and a
way to relate to other guest without too much anxiety.
So if you have a guest like that, try to accept their offer of help.
It may just break the ice for your guest while it helps your
dinner party along.
Here’s a list of jobs you could easily ask guests to do
without burdening them with lots of work:
•
help serve pre-dinner drinks and refills before dinner
39
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
pie)
•
pass appetizers around
escort someone who has mobility problems to the table
Fill the water glasses just before you sit down
light the candles on the table
open and pour the wine as you serve the first course
clear the main course
help serve the dessert at the table (for example, cut the
help you serve the coffee
So overall, certainly let your guests help. Just be sure to plan
ahead and think when their help would be most useful. Don’t
give them jobs that isolate them from the other guests, and
keep the jobs small and very time-limited.
Should you clean up while guests are still there?
Try to plan so that you can clean up after guests leave. Don’t
expect your guests to act as kitchen maids, and don’t leave
them alone while you complete a major clean up.
Here is a short list of chores you can move through promptly and
quickly while guests are still there.
•
put leftover appetizers away as guests are coming to the
table
•
clear the table after the main course
•
rinse and stack dishes or put some of them in the
dishwasher as long as you do it quickly and quietly without
holding up things
•
put leftover dinner food in the frig as you serve coffee
Anything more and you will probably make your guests
uncomfortable. Remember if you organized the dinner well, and
included some make-ahead and store-bought items, most of the
cleanup will have taken place before your guests arrive. You also
ran the dishwasher and emptied it (didn’t you?) so it is ready to
receive dinner dishes.
How do you get guests out of the kitchen?
I’m one of those people who finds it hard to multi-task when I
am getting dinner on the table. Often guests try to be polite and
join me and talk while I’m in the kitchen.
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Lots of people are happy to be joined in the kitchen. But here
are some suggestions to deal with this situation if you have
problems with it like I do.
Explain that you have problems concentrating, so you need a
few minute to get organized and you’ll join them back in the
living room
•
Ask them to do a small job such as putting something on
the table
•
Ask them to do a job that gets them back into the living
room – for example ask them to check on people’s drinks and
refill as required
How do you get guests to go home?
This one is a bit tougher. Sometimes you just have to say
something like” Well, let’s enjoy one more tune/cup of
coffee/nightcap before we call it a day. Then turn the lights up
and move briskly as you provide the last servings or put on the
last tune.
If your guests didn’t drive, ask them if they would like you to call
them a cab.
As a last resort, say something definite like “I’ve enjoyed your
company so much it’s too bad we can’t go on all night, but…”
Next time you invite people who tend to stay on, tell them up
front that you are inviting them for a dinner party from 7pm to
11pm or whatever hour you would like them to leave.
What are the etiquette rules for being a guest?
Here’s a list of etiquette rules that should make you a
welcome guest.
•
Guests are expected to reply promptly to an invitation.
They should show up on time, display proper table manners and
leave reasonably soon after coffee and liqueurs if any are
served, or by around 11pm, unless the host or hostess
specifically asks people not to worry about leaving
•
Don’t bring uninvited extra people or children unless they
were specifically invited.
•
A hostess gift is a nice touch. Flowers, chocolates or wine
are excellent choices.
41
•
A polite guest makes a gesture towards offering to help
the host or hostess but does not press if refused.
•
Cell phones are not acceptable at dinner and guests should
not make or receive calls at the table. Phones should be on silent
mode or turned right off.
•
If you have the misfortune to spill something or
accidentally break something like a glass, don’t keep apologizing
all night. Just help quietly in cleaning up and let it go.
•
On the other hand if you break something expensive, let
the host know that you will talk to them – perhaps the next day
- about replacing it. This way the host and other guests are
reassured that you will be doing the right thing, and that it is
safe to change the subject.
•
What should you offer to do the next day if you break
something of value? If you can replace it, it would be nice to do
so. If you can’t replace it, try to send a gift as an apology. The
simple fact is that sometimes things get broken. Hosts should be
careful not to leave out things that are in the way and could
easily be broken.
•
Probably the most important requirement of a guest is that
he or she contribute to the evening. Guests have a social
obligation to help make the evening go well. So if you are a
guest come prepared to join in and contribute to general
conversation. It could happen that the stress of the day has put
you in a bad mood. If so, take a deep breath as you arrive and
expel that bad mood outside the door. Come prepared to enjoy
yourself and to help others enjoy themselves.
And that covers just about all of the questions you sent in about
guest etiquette. I hope now you feel more at ease about how to
be a good host, and how to deal smoothly and confidently with
any guest etiquette issues that may arise.
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Section 7 – Conclusion
In Section 1 we took a close look at how we live today, as
opposed to the etiquette world of the Victorians, our
grandparents, and even our parents. I hope you were convinced
that you didn’t need to throw dinner parties in the old-fashioned
way.
Section 2 revealed that the true spirit of etiquette was to make
your guests at ease. You discovered that you need to be at ease
yourself to put your guests at ease. And you discovered that you
need a plan for being organized, to know the basic rules of
etiquette.
You know that old-fashioned etiquette needs to be replaced by
practical etiquette rules for today’s world.
Section 3 provided you with a practical, down to earth checklist
to keep you organized, poised and in control of your dinner
party.
Section 4 gave you answers to your many questions about
formality, invitations, and choosing a menu, including the
etiquette of serving wine.
Section 5 answered your questions about setting the dinner
party table properly, and how to seat your guests and yourselves
around your table.
Section 6 dealt with your many questions about host and guest
etiquette, such as proper arrival times, what to do with
unexpected guests, hostess gifts, and many other host/guest
questions.
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I hope you have found this ebook helpful and that you feel
confident about hosting a great dinner party at home – by next
weekend.
My very best wishes for your dinner parties of the future!
Joanie Williams
The Dinner Party Planning Gal
P.S. Early bird orderers get two bonuses. They are conveniently
attached for you in the next section of this book.
P.P. S. Also attached after the bonuses is the Feedback Section.
Please be sure to answer it. I’d love to hear what you have to
say about my ebook.
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Your Special Bonus Section
Bonus # 1: An easy way to set a beautiful
table
A simple table setting that works for almost any dinner
party
A table-setting scheme that works for almost any occasion. What
a great way to reduce dinner party planning stress!
Did you know that at the most formal state banquets, white or
cream is a most acceptable color for the candles, tablecloths,
serviettes, and dishes?
If it’s good enough for the queen, it’s good enough for me.
So let’s use this colour scheme to design a table-setting scheme
that you can use confidently at almost any dinner party
occasion.
This colour scheme is serene, uncluttered and elegant.
But also, this scheme is infinitely flexible.
Here’s the list of items you need:
•
Clear or crystal glassware
•
White or glass candlesticks and flower vase
•
White or cream-coloured tablecloth, napkins and candles
•
White or pale-coloured flowers or artificial centrepiece
If this sounds a little pale to you, remember you are going to be
putting colorful food and wine on the table as well.
Tip: Because the white tablecloth and napkins are the backbone
of so many table-settings, why not buy two sets? It’s an
investment in peace of mind.
You can change this look really easily. Let’s say you want a more
dramatic look. Just change the color of your flowers and napkins
to a more dramatic color like deep red or purple blue. With these
two simple changes you totally transform the look of your table.
P.S. You can find a lot more information about setting tables and
many other dinner party questions on my website.
www.thedinnerpartyplanningsite.com
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Read on for choices to build a stress-free menu you can use as
soon as next weekend.
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Bonus #2 – A Stress-free menu you can use
next weekend
You need to set your dinner party up so that you are at ease
with your own plans. If you are the only person preparing
dinner, it’s really important to be realistic. You can’t expect to
single-handedly prepare and serve many courses. Your guests
will not expect this either, and it will stress them out watching
you try.
So choose a menu that you can handle. Typically this should
include a mix of make-ahead dishes, one or two last minute
dishes and probably a store-bought dish or two.
Here’s how to build a simple menu that one person can handle.
It includes actual menu suggestions you can use - next weekend
if you want!
Hot Tip: Remember, your guests will be grateful that someone
is serving them dinner. They are sitting down at your table
feeling lucky that they aren’t cooking tonight, not looking for
reasons to criticize!
You’ll find tons of recipes online for your food choices in this
menu. Just be sure to practise them in advance if you’ve never
made them before.
Appetizer
It’s thoughtful to set out something for people who may be
watching their diet. Raw vegetables and dip fill this bill to
perfection. Often your local supermarket has a prepackaged tray
of vegetables and dip you can just bring home and put on your
own pretty platter.
Plates of cheese and crackers, and maybe some pate, all are
tried and true recipes that work for the living room. Besides,
people like them! Choose two to three cheeses and vary the
textures from soft (such as Brie) to harder such as cheddar.
Salad
The simplest route is to go to the supermarket and get the salad
mix already mixed for you. Just take it home, wash it and dry it
again, then store in the frig in the bowl you will serve it in. Cover
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it with plastic wrap and you only have to pull it out at the last
minute and add some salad dressing.
Yes there actually are some acceptable store-bought salad
dressings in spite of what the purists say. So if mixing your own
salad dressing is not up your alley, just go buy a pre-mixed one.
You can aspire to mixing your own exotic dressings next year.
Amen.
Several simple-to-make or make-ahead entrée choices
•
A beef bourgignon (fancy beef stew) that you have made
in advance and just need to heat up. People love this dish
especially in cold weather. It’s fancy comfort food that tastes
even better the day after you make it. Serve over long grain
rice.
•
Coq au vin that you make the day before your dinner
party and is also even more delicious reheated the next day.
Serve it over long grain rice. Check online for many recipes. Just
search for “make ahead coq au vin recipes” and plenty will come
up. Choose an easy one.
•
Filet mignon – an impeccable and so simple gourmet
choice, winter or summer. You can cook these individual
servings at the last minute in a frying pan (yes I really did mean
frying pan) as you dish up the starch and vegetables. Serve it
with tiny boiled potatoes garnished with a little butter or oil and
parsley.
•
Rack of lamb. This dish sounds so exotic, but all you have
to do is plunk it in the oven for under half an hour, and pull it
out. That’s it – nothing more! You can gussy it up if you like with
herbs or a little mustard, but really, it’s delicious on its own, with
some mint sauce on the side. Serve it with rice or tiny boiled
potatoes. Either works well.
Main course side dishes
If you’re serving a salad with the main course, one other
vegetable should be plenty. You can buy all kinds of mixed
frozen vegetables that are colorful and give crisp texture to the
menu. They just require brief heating in the microwave while
you are serving up the other dishes.
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For the starch, you saw what I suggested with the meat entrees
above. Simple boiled mini-potatoes with a little parsley always
look right. They go beautifully with filet or lamb. Rice goes
beautifully with lamb, beef bourgignon or coq au vin. Those premixed packages of long grain and wild rice with herbs are
especially convenient.
Rolls or sliced baguettes make a good addition to the main
course and ensure that big eaters feel satisfied at the end of the
main course.
Dessert
Try store-bought fruit tarts with chocolate cookies. Or offer a
simple plate of grapes, orange sections and dark chocolate
candy. Yes it’s simple, but how delicious. Almost everyone loves
fresh fruit, and chocolate.
Notice how almost nothing has to be done at the last
minute with this simple but delicious menu. That is so
important when you are the only cook and server!
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Feedback Request
Please email me at [email protected]
Let me know your comments on any or all of the questions
below:
•
How easy did you find this ebook to read and follow?
•
How helpful did you find the etiquette answers?
•
How helpful did you find the organizing checklist?
•
Do you feel better equipped to host a dinner party?
•
Do you think the price was fair?
•
How helpful did you find the bonus on table centerpieces?
•
How helpful did you find the bonus on choosing a menu?
•
Was there anything else you would like included in the
next edition?
•
Do you have any other comments about the ebook?
•
Would you like to be notified of further products I will offer
so you can take advantage of their introductory price?
May I use your comments in my sales letter or on my
website? I will contact you beforehand to make sure you
are comfortable with the way I plan to use them.
Send me an email at [email protected]
Don’t forget to tell me if I can use your comments in my sales
letter or on my website.
Once again, thank you so much for purchasing this ebook. I will
be so pleased to hear if it was helpful for you.
Joanie Williams
The Dinner Party Planning
Gal
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