HOW TO WRITE WINNING ESSAYS… … to get into the university* of your dreams! by Minha Kauser *This presenta-on applies to students applying for college, those applying to university/grad school, as well as, those applying to compe--ve high schools/boarding schools in the U.S.A. © 2014. All rights reserved. No part of this publica?on may be reproduced without wriBen permission from the author. 1 AGENDA 1. While we wait to begin – Reading: How do you cap?vate your reader? 2. Intros – You & Me – What would you like to learn? (In person) 3. How do you become a great writer? 4. Five Ingredients of a Winning Essay 5. Do’s and Dont’s 6. 15 Essay Tips from Admissions Oﬃcers 7. Resources for further reading 8. Best Essay Examples 9. How do I start wri?ng my essay? 10. Mistakes to Avoid in Your Essay 11. Edi?ng Services 12. Edi?ng Value -‐ Why hire an Editor? 13. Learning by Example and Answering your Ques?ons (In person) 14. How to contact us for help edi?ng your essay (If interested) 2 HOW DO YOU CAPTIVATE YOUR READER?
“The Art of Creating a Memorable Essay” by Minha Kauser
Question: How do you captivate your reader?
Answer: You win them over with vivid imagery, meaningful and memorable content.
Last year, one of the students I worked with wrote the first draft of her common app (college admission essay) about a relationship she had that
did not work. It was not the best essay as it had confusing information about who said what to whom. I was surprised that she chose to write
her admission essay on this topic, as the picture it painted was more negative than positive. I gave her my honest feedback and told her she
had to write an entirely new essay. I suggested she write about her life, passions and goals and describe how she had matured over her years
in high school. The result was astounding. It was as if the person who wrote the first draft and second draft were two different people.
As a talented artist, she chose to make art the theme of her new essay and compared herself and her life to paints. She began as a blank
canvas. In her freshman year, she was similar to a watercolor, not knowing her way, possessing more water than color. In her sophomore
year, she developed more vivid color and moved on to becoming an acrylic paint. By her junior year, she grew with further studies and
experience. She could adapt to change better and had become smooth and strong like an oil paint. Now, she was ready to explore other paint
media and deepen her life story by painting a new canvas in college.
I was captivated and mesmerized. She wrote about what she loved and it came across superbly. Her ideas were unique, the imagery was
beautiful and since it flowed well, there was little editing to be done. I helped her tighten it up and ensure the introduction connected with the
conclusion but she had transformed her essay and increased her chances of getting in simply by taking time to write about who she was, what
she loved and wanted to do. She made it meaningful in less than 500 words. She got into an excellent school to study art and to this day, I
cannot forget her essay.
There are other essays, like hers, that will remain with me forever. One student was struggling to find a creative way to express and explain his
interests. On his fifth draft, he was finally inspired to write about the sea and how his love for sea creatures led to his passion for biology. I
suggested he connect this with a small detail he had mentioned to me while describing his life story. He had come to the U.S. from another
country and learning English in elementary school was difficult. However, since he loved science, he avidly watched “The Magic School Bus”
series and this helped him improve his English and increase his knowledge of science at the same time! Adding this small detail helped. It
created vivid imagery and meaningful content that made me pause, connect and remember. It made him stand out from the crowd. He got into
an Ivy League school. Fortunately, it was also his dream school!
What matters most, in my opinion in any piece of writing, but especially a college/grad school essay is this quality – is it memorable? The
essays that make a lasting impression are the winning essays that get into the “Yes” pile. These are the students Admissions Committees want
on their campuses.
If you are applying to college/grad school and need help with your essay and feedback on how to make it memorable, email us at
[email protected] so we can help you get into the university of your dreams!
3 Minha Kauser is the Founder and Chief Editor of Winning Essays, LLC. She has been producing winning essays for
the last 18 years. Her own essays won her admission, scholarships and work experiences at several prestigious
institutions, including Harvard, Berkeley, The School for International Training, U.S. State Department and the World
Bank.
Through her editing services, she has helped students create winning essays that have won them admission to the
universities of their choice; opened doors for individuals seeking jobs; and, provided small businesses and large
organizations with website content and document/report support.
Before this, Minha worked in the field of international development, education and youth. She also taught World History to freshmen in high
school for three years. Minha loves teaching, is passionate about education and believes it is the key to a brighter world. She enjoys working
with students and through her editing services, Minha has helped students get admitted to:
American, Babson, Columbia, Cornell, GW, Georgia Tech, Harvard, Syracuse, Tufts, U California – Berkeley, U Chicago, U Michigan –
Ann Arbor, UVA, U Wisconsin – Madison, Virginia Tech and many other notable undergraduate and graduate schools.
You can read client appraisals of Minha’s work on her website at www.winningessays.org. The rave reviews she has received, have earned
her the title, “Essay Genie,” which is also the name of her blog. In this blog, Minha reflects and provides tips on all things related to writing and
editing. You can read her blog entry on “The Art of Creating a Memorable Essay” on her blog as well as on the previous slide which provides
tips on what makes an essay a winning essay.
Minha grew up in seven countries across four continents. She received her Masters in South Asian Studies & Islam from Harvard and a second
Masters in Education with a focus on teaching History and Political Science from Simmons College. Earlier to this, she earned her Bachelors
degree with Honors in International Development and Economics at American University in Washington, D.C. and won a scholarship to study
abroad with the School for International Training in Geneva, Switzerland.
Those who know Minha well describe her as: friendly, honest, positive, conscientious, and always willing to help. Minha has been editing
essays, resumes, curricula, reports and websites for students, individuals, businesses and organizations in the Washington DC area for the last
six years. She established Winning Essays in 2013. For her, the most important ingredient in any writing, be it essay, book, or film, is that it be
memorable. She will work hard to make sure it is. To set up an appointment or learn more, contact Minha at [email protected].
4 How do you become a great writer? 1. 
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Great writers are not born – they are made! With ?me to think, exposure to great wri?ng through reading, and prac?ce wri?ng, you too, can become a great writer! Give yourself ;me to think. To write well, you need ?me to do nothing but think and reﬂect. Think of what you could do for hours on end that would get you excited about waking up day afer day and dedica?ng your ?me to it – that is a passion. Write about it. If you need help discovering what you are passionate about, think about what you love, what you want to improve in the world around you, what you could talk about for ages or read 10 books about on your own, without someone telling you that you had to. Reﬂect on what you loved to do as a child – reﬂect on what you love to do now, if you had more ?me. Afer you reﬂect on all this, write about it. 3. 
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Prac;ce wri;ng daily and/or weekly. Explore your passions & read and write about them! If you love to travel, read books on travel and write about what you enjoyed or learned. If you love people, read biographies and explain why these people or what they did maBer to you and/or the world. If you love music, read and write about it! 5. 
Reading provides great modeling for wri;ng. Try it! Go to the bookstore, explore the sec?on you love, ﬁnd a book and read it. Then, write about it and why it or what it is about maBers to you. When you are immersed in a subject you know about and love, you will feel conﬁdent, have posi?ve and crea?ve thoughts and be able to write more. Write about what maKers to you. Start by wri?ng about something that means a lot to you – your life story, your passions, and/or struggles. If you cannot think of anything, write about something unrelated to you e.g. a book you enjoyed and explain why it made a las?ng impression on you. You could also choose a proverb that resonates with you or a person who you admire. Any wri?ng that helps you connect to yourself, will help you reﬂect, learn and grow. It will also help you think deeper and develop beBer analysis. Be mindful that great writers are not created overnight. It takes ?me, eﬀort and hard work to read, research, and write. The great writer hidden within you will emerge from somewhere deep inside with prac?ce and pa?ence. Everyone has this ability – it just has to be cul?vated. You have to be self-‐mo?vated and take the ini?a?ve to explore, research, read, reﬂect and write on your own. 6. 
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Take ;me for thinking and doing. To write meaningful college/grad school essays, it is important to give ?me to read the ques?on, reﬂect-‐connect, brainstorm, outline & then write! Spend as much ?me thinking, as doing/wri?ng! As the great philosopher Confucius said, “He who learns but does not think, is lost! He who thinks but does not learn is in great danger.” In today’s world, this would be similar to an A student who works hard but does not think or a B student who thinks but does not apply himself/herself to go the extra mile. In order to succeed, you need both – thinking & doing! 5 FIVE Ingredients of a Winning Essay 1.  Answer the quesIon 2.  Be about YOU! It should give insight into YOU -‐ your thoughts, character and ac?ons. Be yourself and provide meaty info and analysis on you! It should not just be a good literary story – its main substance should be YOU! This is your one & only chance! Make it meaningful! 3.  Easy to read and understand -‐ no diﬃcult or confusing words that stop the ﬂow of reading 4.  Well-‐wriQen -‐ clear, crisp, smooth, strong & original! 5.  Memorable! It should stand out from the pile the Admissions CommiBee reads and leave a las?ng impression so that they ﬁnd you irresis?ble and put you in the “YES” vs. “NO” or “MAYBE” pile! 6 Do’s & Don'ts •  DO – Be original, thoughqul, cap?va?ng, reveal something meaningful about yourself, highlight growth and maturity. •  DON’TS – Write about an immature topic or one that shows privilege. Don’t be nega?ve or share something too personal e.g. experience that is shocking, embarrassing or conﬂic?ng – stay away from sex, religion, poli?cs, etc. •  CHECK YOUR WORK – Read your essay & ask yourself, does it show that you are a thoughqul person, a person of substance? That’s what they want. 7 15 Essay Tips from Admissions Oﬃcers 1. Tell a story about yourself that will give the admissions oﬃce a sense of who you are. 2. Keep it simple, and keep it short. There is no need to write a novel, and admissions people read thousands of essays, 3. Write it yourself. 4. Use your own voice. This is not the ?me to experiment with styles you never use -‐ so wri?ng in rhyme, using humor, or sa?re can be very diﬃcult, and are probably not the best way to go. 5. Throw away the Thesaurus. Using big words doesn’t mean you’re smart. Use words you actually use in real life. 6. Don’t write about the Human Genome Project. Choose something you really know about. Admissions people want to learn something about you. 7. While it’s temp?ng to write about a hero, be careful. Some?mes you end up telling all about the hero, and nothing about yourself. 8. Don’t make simple mistakes. Typos, misspelled words, and grammar mistakes really do maBer. 9. Boasqul doesn’t mean smart. 10. You don’t need to have had adversity in your life to write a compelling essay. 11. You don’t need a big accomplishment to write about in your essay to impress the admissions oﬃce. 12.Small details added to the essay can be the most revealing. 13. Don’t sit down to write the night before the essay is due. It doesn’t have to be a Pulitzer Prize winner, but it does have to be thoughqul. 14. Start looking at the ques?ons well in advance. Thoughqully answering the “why” or “how” of the ques?ons is the most important. 15. Don’t over-‐worry it. By Ellen Ishkanian, Boston Globe Correspondent Source: hBp://www.boston.com/mt/yourcampus/college-‐bound-‐boston/2013/10/15_?ps_to_make_your_college_e.html 8 RESOURCES FOR FURTHER READING I suggest reading any books by Gen & Kelly Tanabe! Invest in any of these books, read them and inves?gate these websites over the summer before your Senior Year in High School. They are: 1.  College Admission: From Applica?on to Acceptance, Step by Step by Robin Mamlet 2.  Accepted! 50 Successful College Admissions Essays, Get into Any College, The Ul?mate Scholarship Book & Others by Gen and Kelly Tanabe -‐ hBp://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-‐alias%3Daps&ﬁeld-‐
keywords=gen+and+kelly+tanabe&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Agen+and+kelly+tanabe 3. What Color is Your Parachute? For Teens, 2nd Edi-on: Discovering Yourself, Deﬁning Your Future by Carol Christen & Richard N. Bolles 4. Web research: a. hBp://www.123test.com/career-‐test/index.php b. hBp://www.usnews.com/educa?on c. Websites of all the colleges you are considering applying to d. hBp://www.collegemadesimple.com/college-‐admissions-‐essay/ e. hBp://www.collegemadesimple.com/college-‐applica?on-‐checklist/ 5. Read the ques?ons for the College App, reﬂect and start wri?ng your essays. More info at: hBps://www.commonapp.org/Login 9 BEST ESSAY EXAMPLES 1.  Best essay examples from Accepted! by Gen and Kelly Tanabe: a. “IDIC, Anyone?” pp. 73-‐74 b. “All of 5’1”” pp. 195-‐196 c. “My Voice” pp. 204-‐205 2. Read one of the above & describe how this essay meets the ﬁve criteria for winning essays. 3. Start wri?ng your essay -‐ be true to your life and goals – then review it to see if it meets the ﬁve ingredients of a winning essay. 10 How do I start wri?ng my essay? 1. Begin with wriIng your story from birth to now. Just write without focusing on a point. 2. Re-‐read it and ﬁnd 1-‐2 experiences/moments that make you stop and think and connect with your ambiIon. 3. Write a new essay about your ambiIon/s, dreams, the kind of life you want to have, what makes you happy and what profession you want. If you are not sure, read What Color is Your Parachute? For Teens, 2nd Edi-on: Discovering Yourself, Deﬁning Your Future or What Color is Your Parachute? A Prac-cal Manual for Job-‐Hunters and Career-‐Changers (for adults) by Richard N. Bolles and then reﬂect and write. Think about being 30. What do you want to spend your days doing and to what goal? Inves?gate a list of professions and take a career test online at: hBp://www.123test.com/career-‐test/index.php. If you know someone in any line of work that interests you, ask if you can shadow them for one day to learn more about what they do. All this will help you decide if this is the right path for you. 4. When considering careers, it is important reﬂect on and decide the following: a. Work -‐ What kind of work will you be doing? It should be work you can do easily and look forward to – it maybe your passion or not. It may just help you have the lifestyle you want so you can pursue your passion on the side, part-‐?me e.g. passion for helping poor people – you can get a job that pays liBle or get a job that pays a lot and help people on holidays and ?me oﬀ domes?cally and interna?onally. b. Income – Research what income jobs you like provide. You should feel afer geyng the educa?on you want, that you are earning what you deserve. Factor in the loans that you will take out and ?me you need to get that degree. e.g. teacher, nanny, doctor, lawyer, hair stylist, librarian, make up ar?st, lawyer, scien?st, athlete, retail manager, etc. c. Holidays – How many holidays will you get a year? How much do you need/want? Most jobs give 2-‐3 weeks oﬀ a year. Some require working in the evenings and/or weekends. d. Family – The ?me of career-‐building comes at the same ?me as family raising and presents challenges. You have to think about how much ?me will make you happy with your spouse and kids, paying for child care/nanny, preschool, travel/holidays and saving for your re?rement. It may be early but its important to know what you need to think about now so you will make the best decision for your future and not waste ?me b/c once out of college -‐ these years are crucial i.e. 20-‐30 to build your career. The average age of marriage is now 25 and star?ng a family is also 25. If you spend your 20s in the career you want, you will be ahead. 5. How college will help -‐ College is your ﬁrst step in the world independently. You may want to pursue grad school or just start working. Think about this now. Your thinking may change and plans change and that’s ok. You will understand yourself beBer when you are 21 and even more when you are 30. Try to think of yourself as 60 looking back on your life – what will you want it to look like? Work on making that happen by focusing on gaining skills and knowledge in college that will get you where you want to be. Consult U.S. News & World Report College Rankings for areas of interest & colleges that excel in those areas. Apply to 5-‐10 schools, not less and not more. You should have 2-‐3 reaches, 2-‐3 safety schools and 2-‐3 schools in the middle. Do not think that one weak factor makes your enIre applicaIon poor. You are a human being – people who read college applicaIons know this! You cannot have a perfect GPA, SAT and all the rest. If you do, you will not have lived much. Apply where you want and do not think a top school will not choose you b/c of your SAT scores. If applying for ﬁnancial aid, make sure you research schools that provide merit and need-‐based scholarships. When in doubt, ask your high school College Counselors – they are paid to help you – make appointments to see them as much as you need to, to get the help you want! If you want more help, hire an Editor. 11 Mistakes To Avoid in Your Essay 1. 
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Check all spelling and make sure to have a few paragraphs – not a one paragraph essay! Do not present a laundry list of your life – choose one passion and make it strong and connected to what you want to study and do with the rest of your life. Do not present a new piece of info in the conclusion. The conclusion should wrap up what you have said in a diﬀerent way but not present new info. Do not present any health info that could hurt you e.g. ADHD, ADD, etc. It is personal info and need not be shared. If you need to explain low grades, ﬁnd another explana?on e.g. parent divorce, struggling adjus?ng, death of a loved one, anything that actually happened vs. explaining a medical condi?on that involves taking medicine, etc. Do not write about a rela?onship you were in that you learned from or talk about poli?cs. Not a good idea. Find something else to write about that is posi?ve. People like posi?ve people and/or thoughqul people. Nega?ve thinking is not a good recipe for admission! 12 EdiIng Services Provided by Winning Essays, LLC 1.  MeeIng – Editor meets with student to discuss background, interests and essays (In person or on Skype) 2.  AuthenIcity – The essay is created and wriBen by the student. The editor’s job is to help provide the student with advice that will help make their essay a winning essay -‐ one that stands out from the crowd and is memorable. 3.  Process -‐ Student writes & Editor edits – Both con?nue wri?ng & edi?ng un?l reach desired result. 4.  Work -‐ Write/Edit other essays as needed 5.  CompleIon -‐ End when student/client is sa?sﬁed 13 EDITING VALUE – Why hire an Editor? 1. 
The essay is the ONLY part of the admissions applicaIon that is created by YOU – It is your opportunity to make your applica?on stand out by showing your humanity, thoughts/ac?ons, character – cap?vate them so they want to meet you! 2. 
Your essay can make or break your applicaIon – It is true that this is just one piece of your applica?on but a strong student with a weak essay can go into the “No” pile and a strong student with a strong essay has a higher likelihood of geyng in the “Yes” pile. A professional opinion can help you avoid mistakes and increase your likelihood for geyng no?ced. 3. 
An Editor is there to help guide you and strengthen your wriIng. An editor can provide support and ensure you have met the ﬁve criteria of winning essays. Editors will not write your essays or do all the work but they will provide advice to help you get there. Having an Editor is value-‐added. 4. 
It does maQer if you can get help on your essays because this decision – college/grad school – aﬀects the next two-‐four years of your life and will aﬀect what windows and doors open for you in the summers, aier graduaIon, and in your future. It maBers because it is the ﬁrst ?me you are seyng out into the world on your own to make your own mark and train for your future – if you want to be successful in your goals, an Editor who has life experience, has been to college/grad school and knows what Admissions Oﬃcers are looking for, can only help. 5. 
To learn what students who have used this service think about it, read their TesImonials at www.winningessays.org. Whether you are applying for college, grad school, want to transfer to a diﬀerent college or are applying to compe??ve high schools/boarding school, having an Editor who is proof-‐reading your work and providing you with feedback is invaluable. If you want a fresh and experienced look that can help make a diﬀerence, why not get a second opinion? Hiring an Editor is the best way to get ?ps on how to make your wri?ng stand out and make your essay memorable. Visit www.winningessays.org or Contact [email protected] for more info. Thank You! 14 We hope this presenta?on has helped you learn how you can create winning essays! For more info, please visit our website at: www.winningessays.org If you are interested in our edi?ng services, please email us at [email protected]. We oﬀer a reasonable edi?ng rate of $60/hour. The average student uses 5-‐10 hours of our services and has been sa?sﬁed with the results. You can start and stop when you want. Your sa?sfac?on and success is our topmost priority. Students/Clients have been accepted to the school of their dreams and you can view their tes?monials on our website. References available upon request. We look forward to hearing from you. Thank you. © 2014. All rights reserved. No part of this publica?on may be reproduced without wriBen permission from the author. 15