I LOVE MY WORK How to Create The Work•Life Balance That You Love JEANNE MOREAU COUZENS I LOVE MY WORK How to Create the Work/Life Balance You Love Jeanne Moreau Couzens Notice of Copyright © Jeanne Moreau Couzens, 2009 All rights reserved. Contents of this book are protected by Canadian copyright law. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the author. If you would like to quote any material from this book please feel free. Would you please make sure you give credit to Jeanne Moreau Couzens and include her website: jeannemoreaucouzens.com Horizon Publishing 100, 4603 Varsity Drive NW Calgary, Alberta, Canada. T3A 2V7 ( [email protected]) ISBN 978-0-9812619-0-4 Forward “The challenge to find and fulfill one’s own calling in life is perhaps our most important task.” R.A. Schuller “I have always had a keen sense of knowing that what I do today will have a huge impact on my tomorrow. “ JMC We all have a sense of life moving along and a knowing that we need to use this gift of time wisely and make every day count. We also have a deep knowing that we need to live the life we dream of, no matter what that dream may be. The problem we all face however is not always knowing how we go about making real our life and work dreams. Living the life we love is a tough act, especially during a nasty recession. The good news is that even if we have been badly hurt by these difficult times, we can still live a very good life. No one or nothing can take our good away from us. We are the only ones standing in our way to living well. For those of us who have lost our jobs and feel like we are moving backwards, let me reassure you that as long as you are trying to keep things going and nurturing yourself and your loved ones, you are making head way. We need to make everyday count, whether we are making great strides or moving sideways or backwards. None of us have time to stand still. In this book I will help coach you up to be your best as you grow into your life and work dream. From experience I have lived through several tough economic downturns. At the time I thought we would never recover and get back on our feet, however as challenging as they have been, we have always recovered and have slowly but surely lived a very good life/work balance. This recession hit like a bomb when we were holidaying in Hawaii. From everything happening around the world we could see that we were in for a storm and I wanted to do something positive as an antidote to the pain and destruction which was coming down all around the world. So it was in a moment of enthusiastic exuberance that I decided to write a book to help others create a meaningful life/work balance no matter what is going on around us. Working in recruitment, staffing and people management for almost 30 years has given me some insight into the intricate relationship between our work and our life. Our work/life balance is so delicate and like all meaningful relationships, it can be a steep and treacherous learning curve. So it is my sincere hope that the insights and passages I have written will help illuminate some of the dark corners we all face as we create our life and work dream. Let’s start by lighting our own candle and pursue with a passion the life and work we desire and deserve. Never give up! “Choose what’s really important because you will run out of time. It’s better to live with gusto than to be afraid and watch life pass you by.” –Alexandra Stoddard With love and my good wishes, Jeanne Moreau Couzens Table of Contents It Is Possible To Do What You Love And Love What You Do 1 Work At What You Love 2 Synergizing Our Life And Our Work 3 Do Something Great With Your Life 4 Become Something! 5 Hope For Hard Times 6 Be Flexible 7 Attitude 8 What Type Of Person Are You? 9 The Big Picture 12 Bounce 13 Work And Play 13 Dealing With All The Changes 14 Pushing Our Boundaries 15 Staying Positive 17 Big Jobs And Little Jobs 17 We All Want To Love Our Work 18 My Life •Work Dream 19 Facing Our First Recession In 1981 20 Recent Grads 20 We Need To Find Our Own Truth 21 Standing Our Ground 22 Finding Our Pioneering Spirit 23 Hard Earned Wisdom 24 On Really Tough Days 25 Tender Loving Care 26 Our Security 27 We Need To Find Our Own Way 29 The Big Question 30 I Want To Love My Life 31 Balance 32 Be Yourself 33 We Need To Love Ourselves 34 One Small Dream ....that Changes Everything!!! 35 Facing The Fear Of The Unknown 36 Dreaming About What Our Life Can Be Like 37 Time To Dream Again 39 Seize The Moment 39 Now Is A Great Time To Start 40 Finding Our Opportunities 41 Planning For Our Journey 41 Finding Our Dream 42 Taking Our First Step 43 Creating Our Life And Work Dreams In Good Times, Bad Times And In Between Times 44 Life And Work Dreams 45 Upgrading Our Dreams 46 Our Good Awaits Us 47 No One Can Make The Decision For Us 48 Have A Long Term Dream 49 Aspire To Something Greater Than Yourself 50 Young Dreams 51 Spending Our Resources 51 The Tough Times We All Face 53 Money Can’t Buy Me Love 54 Focusing On The Right Things 55 Meeting Our Challenges 56 Getting Prepared For Success 57 The Work That I Do 59 Our Mark Of Distinction 59 Career Coaching 60 Be Job Ready 61 Our Options 62 When We Choose Change 63 Let’s Check Our Realities 64 Have An Exit Plan 65 Changing Directions 66 We Need To Find Our Own Life And Work Dream 68 Something To Consider 69 Finding Our True Passion 70 Bread And Butter Dreams 71 Sidelines 73 Keep Asking, Seeking And Knocking 74 Where Do We Start 75 We Need To Grow 76 Let The Journey Begin 77 Finding Our Work Style 78 Strong And Resilient 80 Let’s Drop Failure Out Of Our Vocab 81 Overcoming 82 Finding Solutions To Our Problems 83 Our Story Of (Barely) Surviving A Deep Recession 84 Damage Control 85 No Time Wasted 87 Salvaging What We Can 88 The Constants In Our Life 90 Balance 91 Don’t Sweat It, Be Cool And Calm 92 Never Panic 92 Thriving In Recessions And Downturns 93 Figuring Out Life 95 Priming The Pump 96 Being Creative And Resourceful 97 The Waiting Game 97 There Is Always Some Work We Can Do 98 Being Our Own Boss 99 Starting Our Own Business 100 My Work Today 101 Doing Survival Work 102 Never Get Trapped 103 Earning Our Daily Bread 103 Moving Out Of Survival Work 105 We Need To Give Ourselves Permission To Seek And Create Our Own Life And Work Dreams 106 We Need Faith To Dream, We Need Faith To Keep Our Dream Alive And We Need Big Faith To Make Our Dreams Come True 107 Faith 108 Balancing Our Work And Our Private Life 110 Living Well 110 Combining My Work With My Personal Life 111 Threading It All Together Seamlessly 113 Think Of Ways That You Can Improve Your Good Fortune 113 Feeling Lucky 114 Life Is Just Too Short To Be Wasted 115 Foreign Job-Seekers 116 Diversity 116 Let’s Nix All Prejudices 117 Let’s Create A Very Good Life.... 118 Beware Of Toxic Attitudes 119 “Get Happy” Is The Best Medicine 121 Do What You Love 122 Finding The Artist In Ourself 122 Finding Our Self-confidence 124 Our Parents 124 English As A Second Language 126 The Boomer Generation 127 We Too Can Do It 128 Changing From The Inside Out 129 Our Journey Of Change 130 Often Life Makes Decisions For Us 131 It Was Always “Not Today” 132 Reframing 133 Changing The Way That I Work 134 Moving Homes 134 Closing One Chapter Of My Life 135 Our Life/work Balance 136 Back To A Home Office 137 My New Dream 138 Starting Somewhere 139 My Advice 140 Handling Rejection 141 Do Honorable Work 142 Flexible 143 Job Hunting 144 Re-charging 144 Damage Control 145 Healing After A Loss 146 Researching Our Possibilities 148 Opportunities Abound 149 Timelines 150 Divine Order 150 Relax 151 Putting The Pieces Together 152 Finding A Way 153 Caution 153 Take Time To Celebrate.... 154 Lighten Up Buttercup 156 Desire Is Your Unlimited Potential Seeking Expression 157 Helping Ourselves First 158 Dealing With The Delays 159 Our Future 160 Marking Our Time 161 Planting Our Victory Garden 162 Opportunity For Change 163 Less To Lose 164 Living Longer 165 Mark This Time As A Special Time 166 Finding Our Inner Energy and Strength 166 Being Our Own Advocates 167 There Is No Looking Back 168 It’s Not Easy 169 Creating Our Own Vision For Tomorrow 170 It Can Be Confusing 171 Test Drive Your Dreams 172 Modes Of Employment 173 Employee Or Employer 174 Preparing To Start Work 174 Our Resume 176 Our Cover Letter 177 How We Present Ourselves 178 Know Your Own Resume 178 Going For An Interview 180 Doing Mock Interviews 181 Be Enthusiastic 182 Having Good Manners 183 Keep Your Composure 183 First Impressions 184 Dressing For Success 185 Business Casual 186 Good Grooming 186 Do The Best You Can 187 Dealing With Rejection 188 Sometimes We Just Need More Practice 189 Know That You Will Find Your Dream Job 190 Move On 191 Don’t See This Challenge As A Problem 192 Knocking Down Barriers 193 Be A Happy Face 195 Stay Happy And Engaged in Life 196 Stay Connected 197 Remember The Sun Is Still Shinning 198 Managing Our Moods 199 Healing 200 Looking At The Big Picture 201 Overcoming Set-backs 202 High Expectations 203 Ease Up 204 It’s Never Too Late 205 You Are Your Own Boss 207 Working For Myself 207 We Are In Our Right Place 208 No Time To Waste 209 Time To Renew And Refocus 210 Dreaming Big Dreams 211 Living Our Dreams 212 Gratitude 212 Beyond Wonderful 213 Dream Zappers 213 Don’t Let People Label You 215 I Am Strong Willed 216 Wisdom That Comes With Experience 216 Reframe Your Labels 217 Focused and Determined 218 In Good Times And Bad Times 219 Little Dreams Within Big Dreams 220 Looking At The Big Picture 221 Compromise 222 Big Moments 223 Our Opportunities 224 Our Blessing 225 Wonder Of Wonders 225 Good News 226 No Time To Lose 227 Our Gift Of Time 227 Deferred Dreams 228 One Thing Leads To Another 229 Let’s Be Bold And Wise 230 Our Legacy 231 The Magic Of Life 231 Our Success Positively Impacts Others 232 Co-Creating A Miracle 233 Prioritize 234 Delegate 235 Getting Down To The Small Stuff 235 Making Our Choices 236 Beginning Our Journey 237 Overcoming 238 Documenting And Recording Our Journey 239 Gratitude 240 Build Goodwill 241 Humble Thoughts 242 “Yes” Is A Big Word 243 Knowing Is Powerful 243 Pushing Back Fear 244 Believing Makes Things Happen 245 Claiming Our Greatness 245 Breaking Down Barriers 256 The Power Of Knowing 246 Take Time To Celebrate 247 Seek Your Blessings 247 Things That Never Go OUt Of Style 248 I Love My Life 250 I Love My Work “IT IS POSSIBLE TO DO WHAT YOU LOVE AND LOVE WHAT YOU DO.” Michael Toms from TRUE WORK How many of us dream about living a life we love and doing work we are passionate about? At some point or other in our lives we think seriously about this. For some of us, we think about this everyday – well every other day anyway. I have been in career work for almost 30 years and it is a pleasure when I come across someone who truly loves their work. They smile broadly and their eyes shine with enthusiasm as they describe what they do. Their work never seems to tire them or get them down. They are always up beat and eager to share happy stories about their life and work. It seems as though they and their work are one satisfying and enriching life experience. They have overtime grown into their life’s work, and we might say they have truly found their calling or as Michael Toms explains in his book True Work, “they have found their true work.” They have created the life and work dream Jeanne Moreau Couzens which meets their expectations and deeply fulfills them. They love their work and they love their life. What a beautiful gift. WORK AT WHAT YOU LOVE Choose a profession which gives you great pleasure and that you love. Martha Stewart in her book The Martha Rules says on page one: “It is great to love ones’ work.” Doing work that you enjoy gives you energy. You are imbued with enthusiasm. Your senses seem sharper. You wake up with new ideas every day and with solutions to conquer the challenges that cropped up the day before. You are always confident that goals are attainable, that creativity and ingenuity and hard work and passion for the work will make ‘it’ all come together. This ‘passion’ for one’s work is just like an all-consuming love affair-something that all of us crave to experience but encounter only once or twice in a lifetime if we are lucky.” Well said Martha, and Martha should know about this all-consuming love affair with work. We too want to know what it would feel like to love our work, maybe we don’t want it to be an all consuming love affair, but we certainly would love work to be a true pleasure for us. I Love My Work SYNERGIZING OUR LIFE AND OUR WORK “ I’ve learned that making a living is not the same as making a life” – Maya Angeloue How many of us feel like we have stalled in our lives. Our life is not in tune with our inner hopes. How many of us have barely enough energy to get us through our days, yet we go on and on ‘doing same old’? How many of us got pulled into doing the work we do because we didn’t see any other options available to us? We needed to earn and we were trying to please others by just getting a job and now we are stuck in a rut. Maybe we started working at something we truly enjoyed in the beginning, but after years of doing the same thing and hitting walls whenever we try to make changes, we are feeling under-valued, invisible and tired of getting no where fast. Soon our frustration at work spills over into our home and personal life and we become in desperate need of a positive change. We see time progressing and it saddens us to Jeanne Moreau Couzens see how our life is quickly passing us by and we still haven’t really started living our dreams. We go through the motions of putting one foot in front of the other working in a ho-hum job and living a life that does not meet our inner desires or needs. “Somewhere within us we know that the marriage between our life and our work should be blissfully happy. It should be the perfect expression of our heart and spirit. Our work should be a sharing of our very best gifts, talents and interests and our lives should be the living expression of our deepest dreams.” DO SOMETHING GREAT WITH YOUR LIFE How many of us are willing to seriously look at other possibilities and consider finding work that we love? Finding work that is our true-life’s calling and that will take us through each and every season of the life experiences we encounter. How many of us dream of changing the life we are presently living and the work we do? Are we ready to re-create our life and work into something way beyond what we can imagine? How many of us are willing to give it a try, see what I Love My Work we can do. If we are not in love with our life and our work, what have we got to lose anyway? BECOME SOMETHING! Let’s consider doing something great with our life. Let’s think about what possibilities, options and opportunities are available to us. Let’s consider living a life that will make us feel so alive and vital. A good life that we will enjoy. What if we could live our life and work dreams? Just imagine what that would be like. Let’s imagine loving our life, our work, and ourselves. First of all we have to know that we can become the person we want to be, we can live the life we imagine and we can do great things with this time we have here on earth. I encourage you to become something, to start an amazing dream that will create a legacy. Let’s open our spirit and allow an exciting new dream to capture our heart and imagination. Let’s do something marvelous with our one good life. “Be a great force for good in the world” Jeanne Moreau Couzens HOPE FOR HARD TIMES Even when we do find our dream job, we need to understand that we will have to live and grow through many phases and changes in our work and personal life. We’ll perhaps have to renew our focus and re-invent ourselves many times just to be employable as times and needs change. As with all good things nothing stays static, everything shifts and changes so rapidly that we have to keep working at adapting, continually learning and growing just to stay current in our own lives. We also need to understand how quickly an industry can go boom or bust. Even when times are good we need to be prepared for downturns and to always keep a reserve of funds just to get us through tough times. Our work and our global economic environment as we have all come to know can change almost overnight. Presently we are in a global recession and many of us are without work, looking for a job. In this book I want to reassure everyone I Love My Work who is unemployed that this is a great time to consider making changes in both our work and our personal life. Contrary to what we may think, there is no better time than the present to start dreaming about what we would like to do for work. Let’s spend some time deciding on how we would like to spend our life’s energy and what beautiful life dream we want to give our best energy to. Now is the perfect time. We need to do as Prince Charles says; Follow our heart and ”Feel your way gently through life.” BE FLEXIBLE Always we can expect major ups and downs in our work and in our lives and we need to be very flexible to successfully ride out the rough times. Regretfully no matter how well we do our work, there are truly no guarantees that we’ll always keep our job. Very often we lose our jobs not because we were not doing a good job but because the work we were doing has dried up, or has been put on hold. The only thing we can count on is how we handle ourselves as we make our way through our Jeanne Moreau Couzens life’s work journey. We need to be easy on ourselves and others and to cooperate, gently finding our way through life. And always we need to have a ‘yes’ attitude when we set our amazing goals and dreams. ATTITUDE “Attitude is everything. There are two ways to live life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” We need to have a positive attitude, to always look for the best in everything that happens to us. Our good comes to us in the most unlikely ways imaginable. Know that divine energy is all around us, no matter what part of the world we find ourselves in and miracles are for everyone, not just for the chosen few. If we lose our work and find ourselves feeling desperate and depressed, it is good to know that no matter where we are, no matter what time of year it is, no matter what is happening in our global economy, no matter what is going on in our personal life, there is still meaningful work somewhere for us. Work is like money, it may not be in our hand, but it is out there waiting I Love My Work for us to claim it. Certainly it’s normal to have up and down days when we are without work, but let’s never shut down and turn bitter and negative. Let’s dig deep into our soul and find a ray of hope, knowing that our dreams are waiting for us to co- create them. Let’s keep our attitude positive and stay the course, knowing we will succeed. And indeed we will. WHAT TYPE OF PERSON ARE YOU? I have discovered there are two types of people in this world. There are positive people and there are negative people and a few well-intended people in between. Which one do you believe you are? In our life and our work it is good to be able to identify the positive and the negative people in our lives. This helps us to understand why we sometimes feel uncomfortable around some people and happy and energized around others. Identifying the positive and the negative people in our life helps us to eliminate the energy we waste second-guessing ourselves after time Jeanne Moreau Couzens spent with negative people. Positive people are those who are easy on themselves and others and are always looking for ways to make the world go round. These good people look for the best in themselves and others. They are not put on this earth to destroy and put down, they are up-building, positive and nurturing and we love to spend time with them. Negative people are toxic to be around and they always see the cup half empty. They see what is wrong with everyone and everything and they have a strong need to bring people down. They bring tension, stress, upheaval and disorder. A quick and easy way to determine whether you are in the company of a positive person or a negative person is to determine your energy level when you are with these people. Positive people are on your team, they will encourage and uplift you and celebrate your victories. Negative people are toxic vapors, they will try to make you look like a fool and you will feel uneasy and drained after spending time with them. When we want to build a healthy work life and a positive personal life, let’s remember to steer clear of 10 I Love My Work negative situations and people as they will take the sun out of our day. Remember they are looking after themselves and are often fighting with their own demons and issues and have no intentions of bringing us any sunshine. Negative and unhappy people allow their moods to be controlled by what happens to them everyday. Most often they are in a bad mood or worked up because invariably something has not gone the way they wanted it to. They mostly live their life in fear and they venture little because they (falsely) believe that life is out to get them and they “wouldn’t succeed anyway, so why bother trying.” Unfortunately they live as they thinketh, so shall it be.” Those who feel blessed and happy to be alive are those who have a big dream. They have experienced miracles and they believe life is what they make of it. They have goals and plans and wake up eager to work at making their vision a reality. In their hearts they know that they can make a positive difference with their lives. Life is not left to what happens to them or what others do to them or say about them. They are creative and resourceful and knowing this gives 11 Jeanne Moreau Couzens them unbelievable power to build the life they desire. They feel they have choices and options and they get on with making a fantastic life for themselves and others. Humble note: Often happy people are not perfectionist, they can live with a life that is imperfect, in fact they see the art of life in it’s quirks and imperfections. “God is in the details” Mies van der Rohe THE BIG PICTURE We need to stop fighting life and to accept the things that we can’t change overnight, always we need to keep our eyes on the big picture. We need to be ever mindful of all the opportunities that are coming into our life and to have faith that when we do our best, good things do come to be. We need to reach out and co- create harmony and peace within ourselves and with all others. We need to look for the best, hope for the best and make the best of all circumstances. And always we need to make the most of ourselves, our circumstances and to understand that our life is what we make of it. 12 I Love My Work Like Jay Abraham says, “we need to get everything we can out of all we’ve got.” BOUNCE We also need to understand that everything takes much longer than we think it will, so let’s not lose heart. We need to always be innovative and self-reliant, not giving up easily and always looking for solutions to the problems that will surely come along. We need to have big BOUNCE to come back after the difficulties we face. We need to see all the opportunities during the good times and the not so good times. We need to be wise and level headed, be a cool reactor, stay the course, be steadfast and push on until we meet success. “Find the strength to bounce back from everything and anything” WORK AND PLAY Most of us work too hard and hardly take time to enjoy life. We keep our heads down and barely come up for air, let alone take time to rest, rejuvenate and live well. We go from 13 Jeanne Moreau Couzens extremes, it’s all work and no play and then when we retire, we have little work and too much idle time on our hands. Often our lives are feast or fast, too full or too empty, earning but having no time to spend and live a little and vice-versa. When we work too hard or when we give up on life and moon about we lose our right balance and as a consequence we and others suffer for it. Let’s not be workaholics and let’s not be slackers, let’s get into a good healthy rhythm with our work and play. Play is what keeps us young and refreshed whereas work keeps us engaged and growing. Synergized together work and play balances us out, giving our lives meaning, purpose and stability. “Let’s create a great work/life balance” DEALING WITH ALL THE CHANGES We may be unemployed at the moment, we may have been laid off, we may have been fired, we may be entering the work force, we may be re- entering the work force after a leave or we may 14 I Love My Work be in a work situation that we know we want to leave to change up for better work. I know leaving a job we have held onto for dear life can be scary and that’s why we stay stuck in jobs that put us to sleep in the daytime and keeps us awake at night. I know that finding work can be very difficult and it always requires mindful energy. It involves change and challenges and that usually brings on anxiety, confusion, uncertainty and moves us way out of our comfort zone. Let’s not allow fear to keep us from exploring our great possibilities. Let’s see change as the necessary steps we need to take to move us closer to realizing our goals. “Let’s not be intimidated by the challenge of change” PUSHING OUR BOUNDARIES How many times have we heard that we need to try something which takes us out of our comfort zone everyday to use up our ‘driving force’ energy. We all have momentum energy, kinetic energy, building energy that keeps us wanting to move forward. It’s this forward 15 Jeanne Moreau Couzens drive that keeps us on the go, discovering and experiencing our world. Too often in our work lives, we need learn how to be calm in order to sit stationary at a desk and do our work and this can throw off our energies. We need to be able to switch up our energies – have computing time and the moving forward and gaining ground time. Certainly we need to do our background work but we also need to push our boundaries everyday, in some way big or small so we don’t lose our driving edge and momentum. It is true to say that if we don’t use this positive driving energy, we will lose it, and we don’t want to lose it as this is our creative force. We keep our edge by learning, growing and doing great things. So everyday let’s do something that moves us out of our comfort zone, let’s move the walls of fear and lethargy back as far as we can tolerate. Let’s push back all the negative and let’s work on creating a positive life and work change. 16 I Love My Work STAYING POSITIVE “There is nothing to fear but fear itself.” – Eleanor Roosevelt Always we have to strive to stay positive, we need to think positive thoughts and engage in life- affirming behavior. The good news is when we believe that positive change in our life is not only possible but probable, it helps us to manage the inevitable ‘ups and downs’ we experience in our job search. For whatever reason we are wanting to find work we love and are passionate about, we need to know that our dream work is out there waiting for us to co-create. Whether we have been fired, have lost our job due to a nasty recession, whatever the reason we are looking for work, we need to believe that we deserve to find the work we love and we owe it to ourselves to pursue our life and work dreams. BIG JOBS AND LITTLE JOBS Sometimes we may need to pick up a job or jobs that is ‘in between’ work, meaning it pays 17 Jeanne Moreau Couzens the bills and gets us through the rough times, but always we want to keep in mind that this is not our life’s work. We don’t want to give up our personal work dream and stay in this filler job for life. Certainly we want to do our best and have an attitude of gratitude for this humble work because it is helping us, but we need to keep believing that we will find a way to create our true work. Most of us in life will have big jobs and little jobs and depending on the time and the circumstances and let’s remember that these serve us well. “all work serves a purpose” WE ALL WANT TO LOVE OUR WORK We all desire to find good work that is meaningful and makes the best use of our resources. We want to spend our time doing interesting and purposeful work. Work that we can grow and it will grow us in return. Even if we don’t openly express this, the truth is: We all want to love our work and we all want to love our lives. We want to have fun, share our best and enjoy 18 I Love My Work what we do. We want to contribute to our world. We want to make our lives stand for something. We want to be capable and able. We want to be learning, growing and doing great and wonderful things with our lives. None of us has time and talent to waste. “None of us has time to waste” MY LIFE•WORK DREAM It is in this same spirit that I came to write this little book on finding our life’s work dream. Recently with the world economy coming apart at the seams and a deep recession coming at us like a tsunami, I knew I had to do something to add one small drop of goodness to this huge wave of incredible difficulties we all face. Having survived a few of these economic down turns has given me some insight and during this difficult time, writing a message of hope that can improve your personal life and your career is one way I can help out. “Giving is a gift in itself” 19 Jeanne Moreau Couzens FACING OUR FIRST RECESSION IN 1981 My husband and business partner Gary and I have owned a staffing firm for thirty-some years. Horizon was started in 1978 when our Canadian economy was booming. Pierre Trudeau was our Prime Minister at the time and in our first year of business we made 60 thousand dollars profit. Wow! This was just incredible and over the top. And what did we do with this windfall, well we spent it all and even more. We thought the recessions and depressions our parents talked about were a thing of the past. From our naive perspective and due to our lack of experience we could see no clouds brewing on our horizons. We were living the good life of prosperity when we collided with our first global economic downturn. What a lesson we learned and very quickly. RECENT GRADS Gary and I had both recently graduated from 20 I Love My Work the University and found ourselves earning big money after being poor students. Big money that we thought, like many others, would have no end and would take us to the end of our days. Our parents had cautioned us about hanging on to our hard earned cash, they had warned us that it was not how much we earned that counted, but how much we could hang on to. Having lived through the Great Depression where banks had collapsed and they had experienced massive unemployment (of 25%), endured droughts, seen homeless people, hobos, street urchins and long bread lines, they encouraged us to be wise with our money. Understandably, after having barely survived the tough times, they warned us to be sensible with our money, and like loving parents they cautioned us to always “save for a rainy day”. WE NEED TO FIND OUR OWN TRUTH But how many of us listen to our parents? I think I started telling our sons this same story from the day they started earning. My own story had a few different date lines and tales of 21 Jeanne Moreau Couzens hardship, but basically hard times whether they are recessions or depressions are much the same. Often we stand to lose not only our jobs, investments, our homes and our assets but many times it adversely affects our relationships with those we love. Like any investments, when things go bad, it often compounds in the negatives, leaving us feeling discouraged, depressed in spirit and totally exhausted. The bottom line here is that hard times, what ever they may be, really test our metal. All global recessions and economic downturns create their own havoc. Often the best thing we can do is just to survive them and trust me surviving them is really getting ahead. STANDING OUR GROUND First off we need to take good care of ourselves, not over work or over stress ourselves about making money. We need to do damage control and never panic. Panic just gobbles up our energy and is counter productive. 22 I Love My Work Let’s stay calm and steady. Always look for the positives. We can never let the negatives have the last word. We have to keep in mind that our good is still there waiting for us, regardless of how deep the troubles we find ourselves in. There is still abundant good and every kind of wonderful opportunity for us to grow our dreams on. We have a choice; we can curl up in pain and die or we can move inch by inch, seeking to find everything we can to co-create our piece of paradise, right here on earth. We need to know that we are neo-pioneers blazing our own trail through uncharted and often perilous territory. We just need to do the best we can do and that’s all we can do. FINDING OUR PIONEERING SPIRIT When I was young I didn’t always appreciate or fully understand the hard-earned wisdom my grandmother and parents tried to instill in me. My family came from a pioneering generation, immigrating from Belgium to Canada where they had to create a good life from scratch and 23 Jeanne Moreau Couzens when death, war and droughts wiped them out, they had to start all over again, without wasting much down-time licking their wounds. They were a hardy stock, good people with a positive spirit and a love of living well. Their strength came from their hope and faith. My guess is many of us have similar backgrounds. “We too are hardy, good people” HARD EARNED WISDOM Today I realize more fully the true gift their amazing stories were in that they still give me the energy, courage and inspiration I need when creating my own good life dream. We all need our own wonderful story of strength and overcoming when we face our goliaths. We need to remember the long and arduous journey of our people who came before us, encouraged to know that they didn’t parish on the trail and nor will we. With pride and commitment we too need to stand our ground and face our big challenges. We need to find a new spirit of faith and hope when faced with a potential disaster, whether it 24 I Love My Work be personal, financial or otherwise. When we are struggling with a potential calamity, battered by the storms, betrayals and disasters of life, we need to put one foot in front of the other and just keep moving, trusting that we will find our way. On really tough days, when I am facing super hard times, I have my little cry, then get on with it. “We need to know that life will not always be a bed or roses, but we always have the seeds to plant our own garden so keep planting and keep growing.” ON REALLY TOUGH DAYS Sometimes we just need to take a breather on days when life seems to cut us to the quick and we feel like crying and giving up. When we hit hard times and it seems like our life sucks on every level and things are coming apart faster than we can find the fixes, we need to check our options and cut ourselves some slack. Take time to catch our breath and collect our thoughts. Time for us to regroup and find our quiet corner. Time to center ourselves and to find our inner balance and strength. 25 Jeanne Moreau Couzens We need time to do damage control and to find healthy ways to let off some steam. We need to release the anger, pain and pressure we battle with and to seek ways to heal and recharge and re-build. We just need to do what we need to do to get us back to our whole strong selves again. “Retreat to a sea of calm, away from the hustle and bustle of life” TENDER LOVING CARE Always and not only in tough times, we need to be our own best friends and to give ourselves tender loving care. Take time to re-balance and heal. Whether we need to cry, sleep it off, read, go for a run, exercise, dance, sing, do yoga, meditate, enjoy a massage, do retail therapy, share our heart-ache, read positive affirmations, pray, walk, sit in the sun, enjoy chocolate, sip our coffee, let’s find whatever it is that will help us to detox and de-stress. In tough times we need to take better care of ourselves than usual, find all the things that will nurture and restore us and that will give us hope and energy. We need to believe that there 26 I Love My Work is still plenty of goodness for us to enjoy. To believe that a whole and beautiful life is waiting for us to claim. We must never give in and give up. Somehow we need to connect with our inner spirit and energy source to keep going, to keep dreaming, and to keep growing. OUR SECURITY The best insurance we have is to embrace reality and to know that our life is a long journey with many winding roads. It is never all good and it’s never all bad, just a long distance we need to travel from our starting point to our goal. And when we know for certain that we are heading in the right direction of our dreams, we’ll no longer get so personally upset and involved with all the stops and starts we experience along the way, because we know come what may, we will keep pressing on even if our way is dark and difficult. We know without a doubt that we are on the right path. It makes it easier to deal with all the changes when we come to understand that in life there 27 Jeanne Moreau Couzens will always be many quick stops and slow starts. There will be times when we will be making great strides and gaining ground and then boom there will be times when our lives and our work will slow down to a trickle. It can be a very rough and bumpy ride, but when we feel assured that we will overcome no matter what challenges and obstacles we face, we waste less down time fretting and fussing and can use our energy in positive ways to make our dream happen. Always we need to keep adding to our reserves of emotional energy. Emotional well-being is determined by the state of our overall health, our attitudes, spiritual beliefs, relationships, our work, passions, dreams and goals. Every time we refresh ourselves, we are up-building our emotional resources. We absolutely need to continually replenish our inner resources to make sure we have plenty of energy to get us through tough times and to enjoy our work and life journey. “Our security and happiness has to come from within, loving the life we have no matter what is happening on the outside. We need to hug our dreams and hopes. Keep a little song in our heart and above all always love ourselves.” 28 I Love My Work WE NEED TO FIND OUR OWN WAY We all enjoy the delicious times of celebrations and major victories, when we feel successful and just on top of the world. And we all live through the rough and dark down times when we seem to fail and fall (or so it seems,) out of this world. We need to expect that life is never a freeway from here to where we want to go. “It has many winding roads and even more detours and dead ends, but we have the power within us to still make the journey a beautiful one. ” Certainly life keeps us on our toes, and we need to stay engaged and focused at all times to maneuver the constant changes and curves. Over all we need to be grateful for all the good things that come into our life unbidden. We need to hold fast to our vision of what lies beyond the hurdles we face. We need to live fully every moment and be thankful for all the big and small miracles that we enjoy everyday. And best of all we need to know that when we follow our own dreams, when we press on in the face of all odds, we will surely find our way. Hang on for the ride of your life. Know that: “We will create our own good life.” 29 Jeanne Moreau Couzens THE BIG QUESTION What is ‘our own good life?’ What is our own big dream or dreams? What is our own work of art? What is our ‘magnum opus’? What do we want to do with the rest of our life? What motivates, inspires and gives us energy? What is our life’s work? What is our incredible life’s journey? What are we passionate about? How can we make our life a gift to ourselves and others? What can we make of our gifts and talents? How can we maximize the good in our life? Once we have an idea as to what we want to do with our one good life, we need to ask ourselves how do we co-create our big life? How do we make real our dreams? What do we need to do to prepare for our sacred life journey? What do we need to take along? How do we find our way? In a deep and committed way we need to come up with some answers to these important questions. The good news is that when we have a vision of how we want to live, when we have a big dream humming in our heart, it opens up resources 30 I Love My Work that will help us overcome the difficulties we face. When we know where we are headed in life, we will always find a way to get around the obstacles on our path. “When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all you thoughts break their bonds.” Pantajali I WANT TO LOVE MY LIFE I know without a doubt that I want to love my life. I also know for sure that I want to love myself and others and I want to do something wonderful with my life. I want to give it my best, I want to make a difference and I want to enjoy myself and have fun while I am at it. And you know what, we all want to love our life. No one was born to hate oneself, others or this precious life. We are all here eager to participate and enjoy our big life journey, to love ourselves and each other, and to make a difference any way we can. It’s just that sometimes we don’t always know how to go about it. We don’t know how to find 31 Jeanne Moreau Couzens our way. I for one can get lost at times in the jungle of deadlines, schedules, expectations, commitments, responsibilities and busywork. We all try hard to meet the needs and demands placed upon us and more often than not, we all work too hard. We lose our much needed life work balance. This makes us out of sync and out of balance. We become stressed and out of sorts. Not good. “How did we get to be such beasts of burden, all hard work and no play?” BALANCE We need to find a healthy balance, find the time to enjoy the many good things in our life. Work is important but let’s remember that it is just one aspect of our life and we need to be vigilant that it doesn’t take over and obliterate everything else. We need to find joy again in all that we do. We need to do the things we love doing, we need to cut ourselves some slack and just live for the joy of living. Be more in the moment as we move our dreams. Let’s invite happiness to be our constant companion. Let happiness blossom. 32 I Love My Work Having more fun and play time will produce better results in our work. Balance is finding the right measure of work and play. “People who have a healthy life/work balance usually live longer, happier lives” BE YOURSELF “Self actualization is just learning to be independent of the good opinion of other people.” – Abraham Maslow Let’s enjoy being our best selves. Let’s focus on our positives. Let’s learn to love ourselves unconditionally. Let’s not concern ourselves so deeply with what others think of us. We need to remember that everyone is entitled to their own opinions and everyone will have different opinion of what we should be doing. So let’s chose to be our own boss and just be content to be ourselves. 33 Jeanne Moreau Couzens WE NEED TO LOVE OURSELVES We are so much more than most of us realize. We are so talented, so wise, so loving, so creative, so tenacious, so strong and resourceful and have incredible dreams, desires and gifts we need to explore and enjoy. Let’s start by knowing that we need to understand who we are and what we can do. We need to get to know ourselves better. We need to respect and care for ourselves. We need to listen to our needs and wants and to invest in ourselves. We need to stay in touch with ourselves, update our dreams and look with hope ahead to our future. But most importantly we need to love, love , love ourselves and others no matter where we find ourselves on our journey. Most important of all we need to be our best selves and to truly enjoy being ourselves. And of course we always need to have a dream, even one small dream that can change everything. Always we want to love ourselves and love our one good life. 34 I Love My Work ONE SMALL DREAM ....THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING!!! Claiming Our Dreams. If we were granted one dream that we knew would come true, what would it be? Let’s think about this, what would it be? Can you think of ten dreams or more that you would LOVE to come true? Well keep counting because DREAMS DO COME TRUE. Regretfully too few of us dare to dream because we are so bruised and jaded by life. Many things have not worked out for us in the past and we’re so afraid to try again. Do we even know what we would love in our lives, or have we come to love what we know? Moving out of our comfort zone can be daunting, but it forces us to consider all of our options. Often we cling to a work lifestyle that is so beneath our capabilities and yet we resist change. If we are in a recessive time, this can make our decision even more complicated. Change at any time is difficult on many levels and usually it is the fear of the unknown that gives us the most trouble. 35 Jeanne Moreau Couzens FACING THE FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN When we choose to make a change it can bring us a sense of peace and yet we can also experience strong anxiety about the work ahead. We both fear and anticipate what is on the other side. Change involves many layers of growing and most of all it means a leap of faith and getting over our fear of the unknown. As we venture into our future it takes great determination and courage to move our dreams. We need to replenish our inner resources of energy, faith, hope, courage, determination, and creative energy everyday. We can do this by reading uplifting words and prayers, by listening to positive motivational speakers and up-beat music, looking at beautiful and inspiring visual imagery, finding our positive self talk, enjoying creative movement and seeking whatever else that recharges and encourages us. So let’s start somewhere, let’s find one small dream that can change everything. 36 I Love My Work DREAMING ABOUT WHAT OUR LIFE CAN BE LIKE One of the best ways I know to take this leap of faith and to change our life•work situation is to start by dreaming and thinking about what our life could be like if we dared to begin our journey of change. Let’s fantasize, visualize and imagine how amazing life could be. We want to create in our mind the way we would love our work to be and visualize the way we would like to live. This dream should be positive and get us all jazzed up, making us feel excited and looking forward to our future. When life moves from being mediocre to sublime, the drawing force is greater than the perceived challenges we face. Of course ‘going for it’ was all so much easier for us when we were young, just think of all the leaps of faith and challenges we took on. We moved from one heady experience to another with hardly a backward glance. For most of us, it wasn’t until our middle years that we started reflecting and mulling over our choices, often second-guessing ourselves and this is because 37 Jeanne Moreau Couzens now we believe we have more on the line and so more to lose. But the truth is we also have more to gain. My experience with big changes has always been that when I move up in life, the whole transition of change is less of a challenge than what I anticipated it would be. The more positive the change, the greater my enthusiasm and motivation thus making the move easier all the way around. TIME TO DREAM AGAIN But now it’s time to dream again, to reconnect with our creative selves, and to make decisions that will alter our lives in a meaningful way. We need to create a new dream from the inside out, which is more attuned with who we are today. We change as we grow along with our lives and the dreams and needs we had before sometimes no longer fits our spirit or our life today. So let’s give ourselves permission to change and find our inner courage to reach for a new life. There is no better time to start than now. We 38 I Love My Work don’t need to rush ourselves into making a life/ work decision today, but we do need to make a start, even a small start ….someway, somehow, somewhere. “Do one small thing that moves your spirit everyday” SEIZE THE MOMENT And now is as good a time as any. The longer we delay and defer working and thinking about our future, the dimmer our prospects of making our life what we wish it could be. We need to ask ourselves “what can we make of this one good life opportunity we have?” Sometimes we defer starting on something we love because we feel we have to have everything looked after and in perfect order before we can spend time or money on our dreams. I am the biggest offender of sabotaging my own dreams. I love to write and paint, but always I feel I must take care of business first, make sure there’s food in the fridge and so on, before I can sit down to do my own thing. By the time I get things somewhat settled, my creative mood has passed and I have put in just 39 Jeanne Moreau Couzens another day and days can go by before I get back to my creative projects. And we all know very well that time waits for no one to be ready. “Everything does not have to be perfect in our lives before we can work on our own dreams.” NOW IS A GREAT TIME TO START We need to ask ourselves, “What do I want to do with my one good life?” “What do I want to do with the rest of my life?” Think of being in your last days here on earth and looking back over your life. How do you want to have spent your time and resources here on earth? How do you want to be remembered? What is your mission in life, what work is yours to do? What legacy do you want to leave behind? What positive change do you want to set in motion? How did you make life better for yourself and others? What gifts did you leave behind for others to enjoy and remember you by. What seed dreams did you plant, what dreams did you make come true? What did you enjoy and share? We need to think deeply to come up with the answers to these important questions as they 40 I Love My Work will serve as directional guideposts in our life. We need to live our lives with a divine plan in mind. We simply cannot just go with the flow and take what comes along. We need to be pro-active and mindful as we consider our future. We need to find our mission and most importantly we need to get to know ourselves, to bring out our best selves and to move with faith in the direction of our dreams. Let’s live our life with gusto, and enjoy each day as if it were our last. “Let’s pull out all stops and live our one good life to the hilt.” “How many seeds of joy did you plant today?” FINDING OUR OPPORTUNITY Sometimes old adages say it best. We have all heard “success happens when preparation meets opportunity.” Well our opportunity to succeed is here so let’s start preparing! It’s time we began our great life’s journey. “Let’s make the most of our wonderful opportunities” PLANNING FOR OUR JOURNEY Before we set out to find our way in life, we need 41 Jeanne Moreau Couzens to do some deep thinking and make a plan for our journey. Before we even take our first step of many, we need to feel comfortable about the course we are about to take. We need to prepare ourselves for the changes we want to make. We need to feel good about what we want to create with our one good life. We need to feel this is so right for us and for others and we need to ask ourselves why we want to do this? Does it serve a need in our life? Are we enthusiastic about building this life work dream? Is it meaningful for us? Will it make this world a better place? Will it use our resources of time, money and energy in a positive way? Is this how we want to invest our valuable time here on earth? Are we making the most of this beautiful gift of life? Are we standing up for goodness? Will this make us proud of ourselves? Is this what we really want to do with our precious life’s energy? “When something is important, look out” 42 I Love My Work FINDING OUR DREAM We need to do this re-birthing of our dreams for ourselves first, then for others. It has to be what we really want to do and believe we can do. I say this because I meet so many people who spend a great deal of their lives people pleasing. I too am a big people pleaser and that’s O.K. as long as we know where to draw the line and what is ours in life to do. We know ourselves best, and we’re the only ones who can give ourselves permission to try something new. We’ll stunt our growth unless we keep moving towards what inspires and interests us in life. When we see something better that we can achieve, let’s go for it and not look back. Our true dreams have this incredible energy which draws us in. “Great dreams break us out of bondage” TAKING OUR FIRST STEP Divine Dreams that are meant for us will give us amazing energy. Taking our first step is both daunting and exhilarating. We’re energized 43 Jeanne Moreau Couzens to change our life and our work, and yet we feel the fear of failure nagging at us. We so badly want to succeed. We so want our life to match the dreams and visions we have. We have seen in our minds eye what we can do and we want to be there, now, today. CREATING OUR LIFE AND WORK DREAMS IN GOOD TIMES, BAD TIMES AND IN BETWEEN TIMES Today we are facing the grips of a global recession. No one really knows how deep or how long this downturn in our world economy will take before we see positive signs of growth and recovery, but rest assured, we will all survive this. Although this has slowed our progress, those of us who are job seeking should know that there are still many good jobs to be found. It may not be the dream job we are all hoping for and for sure it is not the robust economy we previously enjoyed but let’s be confident in knowing that there is work if we look for it. 44 I Love My Work Unfortunately an employers’ market makes job finding more difficult as there are more unemployed candidates looking for work then there are available jobs, but if we are willing to be creative and flexible in our thinking, we can find work. Patience and persistence are of paramount importance. Recessions can definitely affect our choices in regards to our life and work dreams in that we may have to just get a job, any job to keep paying our bills, but I want to assure you that this recession will lift and our economy will return to it’s normal buoyant state of affairs. The point I want to make is don’t give up thinking and moving towards your life and work dreams. Certainly we may have to make some adjustments and compromises, but remember that our dreams are still our personal blueprint for our life and work. “Our progress may be slowed, but let’s keep moving our dream” LIFE AND WORK DREAMS No matter what the times may bring we want to make our life and work dreams come to be our 45 Jeanne Moreau Couzens delightful reality. In fact I find when times are tough, more that ever I want to stay focused on my dreams and goals. I chomp at the bit trying in every way to keep my goals moving forward, even if it’s inch by inch. It’s very natural to want to be enjoying our good life right now and it takes great discipline and patience to stay the course when we hit storms and challenges which really slow our progress. It’s good to know that nothing can stand in the way of achieving our goals, if we continue to pursue them with a passion. Let’s always keep in mind that we are the only ones who can quit on ourselves and we’re not going to quit. Even when things are moving along, it’s good to know that dreams can take a lifetime. The bigger the dream the longer it takes and having a dream that takes us a lifetime to realize is a good thing too. “Keep moving inch by inch” UPGRADING OUR DREAMS Always before some goal becomes a reality in 46 I Love My Work my life, I go through a deeply unsettled stage where I am no longer totally happy to live on yesterdays’ dreams and accomplishments. I get impatient and I want to bring in the new... today. The dreams and goals I was passionate about five or ten years ago no longer hold my attention, they have lost their shine. I have changed and my dreams have changed. Often this is because I have realized many of these dreams, but mostly it’s because I have grown on many levels and see things differently today. My vision of goodness is constant but my needs and circumstances change with time and insight. Certainly I am grateful for all the blessings I’ve enjoyed in the past, but I am looking up at another hill to climb and it is looking very good. I want to move on and stay in tandem with my vision, upgrade my dreams and keep my creative energy flowing. “Always follow your passion” OUR GOOD AWAITS US Although we may love the good life we have created thus far, we may find ourselves 47 Jeanne Moreau Couzens restless to start on another journey. We can see the good that is awaiting us and it looks soooooo good. But we may also see the good situation we are presently in and this can create some uncertainty as to what we should do. The unsettling feeling is not knowing whether to stay and make the most of what we have, or should we put ourselves on the line again and start climbing. The new dream stirs our emotions and give us a rush of enthusiasm. “A new dream buzzes me with irrepressible energy and enthusiasm and I can’t seem to let it go. Thinking about it gives me such a great feeling. What a rush! “ I hear people enthusiastically express this same sentiment when they dream of doing something new and exciting with their lives. This rush of enthusiasm is a great motivator, an unbelievable force which can help create a dream. NO ONE CAN MAKE THE DECISION FOR US The ‘should I stay or should I go’ is for us to decide, but I strongly advise that we get honest input from those whom we trust. 48 I Love My Work Often when a choice is good for us either way, both the should I go or should I stay is a win-win. Either staying with what we have or making our move to a new goal will not set us back. Both are winners. When there is no right or wrong, when both choices stack up evenly, this means that we can confidently choose either paths and they will take us to the destination we want to go. “The biggest decision we face is to follow our passion” HAVE A LONG TERM DREAM “All major achievers in any field of involvement are long term goals setters. That is not to say that they do not set short term goals—they do, but only as a filling or progressive step toward the ultimate goal.” – Peter Daniels “ I have long term goals, short term goals and everyday goals.” We all need to have small, medium and big dreams to enjoy as we need to have long, short and medium length goals to work on. The only way I know how to stay motivated under all and any circumstance is to have a long- term goal that I am constantly working on. Many of my dreams I have had since I was 49 Jeanne Moreau Couzens about twelve years of age. I wanted to make a positive difference in life then as I do now. As my sister says, I have a prosperity mentality and I take that as a compliment. I want to make everything I am involved with more fun, more meaningful, more beautiful, filled with love, joy, healing, hope and every goodness imaginable. Simply put “I am a cheerleader in life.” I try hard not to do the negatives as I see how destructive this can be. It takes the sunshine out of life and destroys the goodness we need to succeed so let’s always strive to build up everything we possibly can, always doing the best we can for ourself and others. ASPIRE TO SOMETHING GREATER THAN YOURSELF “Find a purposeful dream that is greater than yourself. “ We must look for a goal that will benefit ourselves and others. Let’s aspire to do something GREAT. Always look for a vision of what we can build on for the rest of our life. We need to find a dream big enough that we will need others to share in it’s building 50 I Love My Work as this will share the fun and create a legacy. Having a magnificent dream greatly reduces the trivial dilemmas we all face in life and certainly we’ve all wasted time on things that were not worth our while, but on the bright side these experiences have redirected us. So let’s spend our divine life’s energy on creating every goodness imaginable. YOUNG DREAMS Years ago when I was a young girl of 19 I competed in beauty pageants. This was kind of a cool thing to do back in the early 70’s and at the time I thoroughly enjoyed myself. But as I grew up and matured I realized that no amount of make up, nor the right designer fashion, hairdo or primping could make me feel as good as having a big dream I loved working on. Certainly taking care of ourselves is perfect and we do want to look our very best, but feeling good inside about what we are doing with our lives makes us look and feel fabulous. 51 Jeanne Moreau Couzens SPENDING OUR RESOURCES Cleaning our home and making sure we look great is very good but let’s remember that these things will not outlive us. Our dreams and achievements will. If we love doing this and it’s one of our passions, then that’s the right thing for us to do. But we have to be mindful on how and what we spend our precious life on. Time is truly one of our most valuable assets. I caution us all to watch closely where and how we spend our life’s best resources. Let’s consider achieving something that will have a positive impact and permanence in life. Let’s minimize how much time and money we spend on things that don’t really count in the whole scheme of things. Now I am not saying that keeping a clean home and taking good care of ourselves is a waste of time. It is very important – but it is the stage setting for our big life. Let’s always separate what is our big goal in life and what is background. We want to work on something big, something with residual value, 52 I Love My Work something that will stay evergreen over time. We want to move some good dream that will never go out of style. Do something that will bless us and others. We all need to have a long-term view of our future and what goals we aspire to bring into our lives. We need to find our own legacy dream that will live on long after we are gone. THE TOUGH TIMES WE ALL FACE Over the past thirty-five years that I have been in the work force, there have been many corrections, reversals, recessions, booms and busts. The good thing I have learned from these is that they do come and go and always when a recovery comes, we find that there is a great pent-up demand for almost every type of goods and services. The jobs, the money, the homes and the possessions we lose during the downturns, we can always replace as long as we don’t lose our faith and give up. When we have a life dream of goodness and 53 Jeanne Moreau Couzens greatness, we come to know that our energy and focus is best directed towards constantly moving our dreams. We know that moving our dreams is the best investment of our resources. Material things depreciate and over a lifetime they come and go. For example if we consider how many homes we’ve had, all the cars we’ve enjoyed, and all the other material goods that have come and gone in our lives, although they have all been a great blessing, we know that these were the props in our lives and not the main event. It was all the love, the amazing relationships, the incredible experiences, the learning and growing, the victories and successes that we remember best and that still lives on in our heart. Let’s look for the real things that will build an incredible life, not the filler things that just gobble our time, money and energy and give us angst. “It’s the goodness that lives on” 54 I Love My Work “MONEY CAN’T BUY ME LOVE” – The Beatles If we are going through a very hard time emotionally and financially, let’s remember to keep up our relationships, with our significant other, our children, family, friends and coworkers. Yes it is very distressing to say the least to lose our material things and to have to watch every penny we spend. I have been there done that and many times. But let’s focus on trying our best to make life as good as we possibly can with whatever we have and not waste our precious time doing the negatives. Let’s know that the times will change and money and good times will come around again. Hurrah! We will not starve. We will survive and we will find work and abundance. But if we lose precious time with those we love, if we waste time in doom and gloom, truly this is a loss that we can never recoup. “Always do damage control, stay focused on what’s important” 55 Jeanne Moreau Couzens FOCUSING ON THE RIGHT THINGS “We continually have to make ourselves aware on the incredible power we have within.” I know of a sure way to live life well in spite of all reversals, depressions, recessions and the ups and downs we encounter in life. First of all we need to take responsibility for our own life. If we don’t take responsibility for ourselves, we feel like victims and feel helpless and downtrodden. This weakens us and takes us out of the drivers’ seat. Let’s remember that we are our best asset. We need to believe in ourselves and to get to know ourselves well. We need to know that we have the resources to do something positive when troubles befalls us. We can survive, we can thrive when we look for all and every way to make a go of the tough situations we all find ourselves in from time to time. Keep in mind that there is always a solution, some way around the potential calamities that come our way. The power is within us, not outside of us. We can and need to take care of ourselves. We can always make a good life for 56 I Love My Work ourselves and others. Let’s always remember: “We are not victims. We are victors”. MEETING OUR CHALLENGES When we face challenges let’s know that deep within us we have the strength and the smarts to find a successful way to overcome our difficulties. We have more resources than we even know until we need to come up with solutions to our problems. When I ask people who have overcome great odds and incredible adversity how they managed, they tell me how they just used good common sense, they simply did what they had to do and pressed on until the tides turned. Very often they say there was nothing else to do but to hold on and survive their disaster as best as they could. And succeed they did as we can too. GETTING PREPARED FOR SUCCESS We always need to work on getting ready for success before our opportunity appears. 57 Jeanne Moreau Couzens Everyday let’s work on preparing ourselves as we grow comfortable with our big dreams. Let’s find something we can do to improve our chances for succeeding in what we want to do with our lives. Let’s never miss an opportunity to work on our dreams everyday. This is called growing into our greatness. We can do visualization, reading, brushing up our skills, finding a mentor, checking out a work environment we would like to work in, doing internet or library browsing and networking with people who can help us move our dreams. The sky is the limit as to what we can work at to prepare ourselves for accepting our big dream into our lives. We can never over-prepare for our success. Most often it is not comfortable when we zoom up or down in our life and work status. It is always best to move step by small step because we need to grow and shape ourselves as we create our big life and our big work dream. It’s important that we feel comfortable with our life and with ourselves and that our life always reflects who we are on the inside. 58 I Love My Work Our lives and our work should be a synergized partnership and in balance with one another. Slow personal growth is often permanent and well rooted. “Be solid, stable and sustainable.” THE WORK THAT I DO In the work that I do, I meet with people looking for work all the time. Many of them want to find work that not only pays well but is work they enjoy and expresses who they really are. They hope to find a way to grow into careers that will keep them interested, growing and going for a lifetime. Most people don’t want stops and starts, a hit and miss work history. Most often I spend as much time careercoaching people that I meet with as I do helping them find a job. It’s very important to find work that fits us well on many levels. Life is just too short to put in time waiting to find the work we love and that’s why we need to co-create our own opportunities. “Participate in your life choices” 59 Jeanne Moreau Couzens OUR MARK OF DISTINCTION I encourage job seekers to explore their inner resources so they can see what assets and qualities they possess that make them stand out. We need to claim and be comfortable with the raw materials we are working with. We need to discover and tap into our aptitudes, talents, gifts, interests, experiences, education, inner wisdom, personality, successes, awards, accomplishments, beliefs, goals, strengths and needs. We need to do an inventory of all our assets and inner-resources and last but not least we need to develop self-confidence and pride in our own abilities. CAREER COACHING Certainly I do my best to help my job seekers prepare a good resume and help them prepare to successfully find work. I coach them up on how to present themselves in an interview, I work to remove barriers they may be facing, I give them tips of where to look for work and 60 I Love My Work most importantly I try to help them build up their self-confidence. In other words, I am on their side and pulling for them, and I really want them to succeed. “Sometimes without even knowing or intending to do this, we are the ones who get in the way of our success.” BE JOB READY Unfortunately many times these good people keep coming back to me still looking for work. My girlfriend laughingly asked me “is it because you’re not doing a good job?” I wish it were that simple. What I’m finding is that most of these good people that are still looking for work one year later are still looking for work because they are not fully job ready. Often they are very frustrated and don’t understand why it is that they are still unemployed when they believe that they are engaging their best efforts and yet they are still not connecting with work. Unfortunately more often than not they are sabotaging their own chances of success by not being fully prepared for their job search. 61 Jeanne Moreau Couzens Their resume, interview style, attitude, dress and behavior often needs a little tweaking. There are as many reasons as there are excuses why we can’t seem to connect with work we love and we need to soul search to find what barriers we need to overcome. There is no shame in having difficulty finding work, but we need to use our best effort to prepare and present ourselves in a professional way. We need to learn how to put our best foot forward and we can learn this through reading and participating in career workshops and career coaching. Preparing a good resume, knowing how to sell ourselves, being polished and prepared, having a positive attitude and knowing how to interview well will truly make a world of difference. “Give it your best” OUR OPTIONS If you are having problems finding work, I can suggest one of three options. The first option is to get someone who is knowledgeable to help coach you up in resume 62 I Love My Work writing and who will coach you right through the whole process of the job search. At the very least read all the material you can on this subject. If you find you are stuck and don’t know what needs to be changed, get a professional opinion. It will be well worth it. Secondly do volunteer work or work part- time in the area you are wanting to find work in and this will give you more experience and confidence when you apply for a job in this area. You will learn the corporate culture and the language plus build more skills and contacts. If you can’t find someone to hire you- ‘Hire yourself’. Be your own boss. Do your own thing. Start up your own business in your home and grow it to fit your needs. Be an entrepreneur and don’t wait for someone else to offer you a job. Create your own work and enjoy being selfemployed. “Action has it’s own reward” WHEN WE CHOOSE CHANGE The best way to guard ourselves from failure is 63 Jeanne Moreau Couzens to be as prepared as we can be for our journey of change, whether we work as an employee or choose to be self-employed. We need to consider all our options, go back to our original dream and look closely at the map of how we plan to get there and see if we are staying on course. It is a good idea before we take that first step of our long journey to visualize and test-drive our life-work dream. “Remember our dream will be the root from which our good will grow .” We need to make sure our dream is close to our heart and is our truest wish for our life. We need to do due diligence, consider all our opportunities and choices, imagine how we will move step by step to make this big adventure work. LET’S CHECK OUR REALITIES When we are making a big change in our work and life style we need to carefully consider how our resources match up with the big dreams we have. We need to be aware of what we can do and what we will need to get help with to 64 I Love My Work move our dreams. The bigger our dreams the more help we will need. We will need to check and recheck our resources as we move our dream along. We need to ask ourselves how much time do we have here on earth, how much money, energy, emotional and physical health do we enjoy, what is our risk tolerance, the strength in our relationships, what is our learning capability, how strong is our tenacity and what are we prepared to do and risk to move our dream. How motivated are we? How much support can we expect from our family, community and/or the financial institutions. “The bigger our dream, the bigger our investment” HAVE AN EXIT PLAN Most important of all is the strength and depth of the interest and enthusiasm we have to create our big life and work dream. Trust me we can move mountains when we have a deep inner passion and desire for what we want to do. We have to have a big heart. One note here is that we do need to continually 65 Jeanne Moreau Couzens check our resources and our enthusiasm levels as things do change quickly as we go along. We need to make sure that we are still on target and that we still have the resources we need to build our life and work dream. If for some reason we see changes in our resources, perhaps we find our desire and interest has waned, maybe our circumstances have drastically changed, whatever the shift is, we need to alter our course accordingly. We need to make the necessary adjustments, be in tune with our life and work dream. So let’s always stay current and up to date with our needs. “Sometimes we may even need to abandon the dream altogether.” Although this may be a tough decision and an even tougher thing to do, we have to be reasonable and do what we have to do. Sometimes we need to cut our losses. That’s life. Never hang on to a dream that is no longer a deep passion. Find a graceful EXIT plan, take a breather and then start working on a new dream. “Dreams make our life worth living. Lose your dream and you lose a vital piece of yourself” 66 I Love My Work CHANGING DIRECTIONS In the career work we do, we often have people come to us with a desire to move in a different direction in their careers than where they have been. We have Career Coached Olympic athletes who were craving normal and wanted to settle into day to day office work. Bank personnel wanting to go into management, an MBA wanting to go into movie making. This is all good but after some discussions we realized this was just a wish and not really a passion. Certainly they had some desire to do something new, but after some conversation with them we mutually agreed it was not really their true work, their main dream. In our work we call this surface grazing. They’re wanting to settle too quickly into some gainful employment but have not given themselves the time to check their options and come up with a big work dream that is the perfect fit for them. Students often settle for less too, just to ease the pressure put on them to make a choice, but unfortunately very often this just 67 Jeanne Moreau Couzens does not work in the end. “We need to look at all the possibilities and opportunities available to us.” We need to be open to everything. Explore every option, every dream and desire and not jump into something which will move us farther away from our true work and the life we desire. We need to give ourselves time to unearth our big dream. “Remember all good things take time.” WE NEED TO FIND OUR OWN LIFE AND WORK DREAM. We need to start slow and small and to build a work life we absolutely adore. We need to build a dream that is what we wish for everyday. We need to create work which is meaningful and expresses our beautiful inner selves. We cannot rush this vital work. It takes time to discover our deepest passions and our heart’s desire and even more time to make our dreams a reality. We need to give ourselves plenty of time and our best resources to unearth and create our amazing destiny. I strongly recommend that we make a list of 68 I Love My Work all the core needs we require in the work we do. Include everything that is indigenous to our spirit. Let’s make up a ‘must have’ list of our deepest desires. These things are respect, professionalism, using our best interests and talents, growth potential…each and everything that will make us truly love our life. Much too often we will happily spend our time, money and energy on others but are so frugal when it comes to investing in ourselves. Let’s always remember that we are the ‘golden goose’ so we need to invest in ourselves too. The less we spend on ourselves the more we fall into disrepair and worse of all our spirits follow suit. The good news is when we take good care of ourselves, we build ourselves up: in mind, body and spirit and it sends a positive message to everyone we come into contact with. Overall we are happier, more successful and have a vibrant and enthusiastic energy about us. We are positive and believe that all things are possible. Life is good. Taking good care of ourselves not only blesses us but others. It is the foundation for our success. “Our health is vital” 69 Jeanne Moreau Couzens SOMETHING TO CONSIDER It’s a reality check to know that we spend approximately one quarter of our life at work, plus another huge chunk of our time preparing and thinking about our work, so I think it’s safe to say we better love our work as we give an enormous amount of our precious life’s energy to the way we earn our living. I think it’s also fair to say that sometimes most of us give every ounce of our energy to our work. Too often when I talk with people they tell me how they give ‘their all’ at work and go home exhausted and need to recoup. Sounds familiar? So let’s think long and hard about what we want to do with our life’s vibrant creative energy. Let’s plan to give our best when we are at work, but to save plenty to fully enjoy our personal life. “It is important to create a comfortable work life balance.” FINDING OUR TRUE PASSION To find our true passion in our work and in our life we need to start by doing mindful thinking 70 I Love My Work about what we want and can do with the power of our divine life’s energy. With pen and paper we start writing all the little insights which come to mind. Keep searching and thinking until you find your true passion, no matter what it may be. Think about all the needs you must have fulfilled in your work in order for it to be positive and meaningful. Remember you are designing your dream life. Have fun with your choices. Design in colors, add music and dance. “Mix things up and create your own beautiful masterpiece.” Enjoy! “It is not uncommon to try a number of different things before your passion becomes clear. Experimentation is the only way to figure it out.” – Martha stewart. BREAD AND BUTTER DREAMS “Sometimes we have to accept less to get more.” When I graduated from University as a teacher I was disappointed when I didn’t get a job in teaching. I was needing the income and had planned on earning, but unfortunately it didn’t quite work out like I had planned. Gary was studying at this time at the University 71 Jeanne Moreau Couzens and we had our young son Dustin, so recognizing that I needed to earn I applied for a teacher’s aide position and got it. It wasn’t teaching but it turned out to be a great position, possibly one of the jobs I have enjoyed the most. I had to accept less to keep moving towards my big goal of teaching. I didn’t have the luxury of time to wait for my dream job to come along. I had to take responsibility and find a way to earn our bread and butter and I had to choose my options and make the best of the situation. Fortunately a few months later, I was offered a full-time teaching position in my area of expertise. Being already employed with the school board gave me a great reference from the inside. The teacher’s aide position set me up for success. “Just get a job, don’t worry about your career now” – Suzi Orman Most often in life we don’t have the luxury to take our time to think about what work we would like to do, nor have the financial freedom to try different jobs to see what we like. Usually we need to work right now. We need to get earning to pay the bills. We just need to find 72 I Love My Work work and do our best to get along. I would say this is true for most of us. However as we do our bread and butter work, let’s keep dreaming about our big life and our work dream as this is our destiny. Let’s keep our dream alive, by not giving up on ourselves. The time will come when we will pull out our deferred dreams, brush off the dust and start working on making them real. SIDELINES Keeping our big dreams alive makes us aware that working at our bread and butter jobs is just one of the side roads on our life’s journey. Let’s work these little dreams with enthusiasm and gratitude because we never know where they will take us. Certainly they will bring us one step closer to our goal and we will surely get there if we stay the course and always give it our best effort. Guaranteed it will be well worth it. I am quite certain that most of us have worked at jobs that are much smaller than our spirit and that only a few of us work doing 73 Jeanne Moreau Couzens entirely what we love. But always it is better to work at something than to wait around for our dream job to come knocking at our door as we may be left waiting for a long time. And while we do our little jobs, let’s always put our backs into doing a fabulous job. This will pay off spades in the long run. “Let’s learn to be content and happy no matter what circumstances we find ourselves in.” KEEP ASKING, SEEKING AND KNOCKING Getting out and finding work we can do whether it be in a corporation or starting our own business gets us out there, coming across people and ideas that usually lead us to our next step. Never just sit at home frustrated and waiting for the big opportunity. Just keep Asking, Seeking and Knocking. Work at something even if it only fits into your short-term plans. Waiting for the big Kahuna is like waiting to win the lottery and that’s not likely. “It all adds up” 74 I Love My Work WHERE DO WE START We need long and short-term plans and we need to consider how we are going to get from where we are to where we want to go. We need a life map to give us direction and to have a blue print of how we can confidently move step by step towards our desired destination. We need to think deeply about what our passions are, what gives us energy and what it is we absolutely love to do. I love walking on the beach, sun-tanning and people watching, sitting in beautiful nature, having great conversations, I love people of every kind, writing, painting, teaching and … on and on it goes. We all need to think through all the things that gives us energy and come up with our own list of what WE LOVE to do. Think about what makes the time fly by and gives you a feeling like you love your life, like life is superb. What gives your life meaning and purpose, what could you share with others and it would bless both you, the giver and the receiver? We need to do an inventory of our resources, 75 Jeanne Moreau Couzens our ideas, our gifts, our talents, our abilities, even our limitations and come up with an idea of what gives us the most joy and pleasure. Maybe you already know what you want to do, you have found your life’s dream but you find that something is still holding you back from launching it. “Listen to your heart” WE NEED TO GROW If you are hesitant, you may need to do more growing into your dream, work out more of the details, do more preparation and wait for an opportune time. I found myself in this position with publishing my books when my children were younger and we were building up our firm. There was so little time to get what needed to be done in a day, let alone to write and publish books. Certainly it has been done, but I chose to do one thing at a time and leave the writing for later, when I could have more time to savor and enjoy it. At the time I didn’t want it to be one more commitment added on to my hectic schedule. 76 I Love My Work What I needed most then was free time to take a breath and balance my life. By nature I am not a fast-paced type of person, sleep deprived and giving on empty. I need order, calm, beauty and to take the time to do what I need to do. I want to savor and enjoy every delicious moment. I don’t want life to go by in a frenzied blur. I believe we all need time, peace and calm just to stay sane. We all want to enjoy every moment we can and live our best dream of abundance. LET THE JOURNEY BEGIN Let’s not look at this experience of finding our life/work dream as a hardship or as difficult work. Rather let’s see it as a gift, a great opportunity, a fun and rewarding adventure we have so looked forward to our whole life. The time has come for us to pursue our own dreams. WOW! It’s time to do the dance of joy for sure. ENJOY!! My passion is to write as I travel around the world meeting new people and seeing amazing places, helping where ever I can. I want to 77 Jeanne Moreau Couzens walk the beach and sit pool side to work. I don’t want to do day to day work as in a job box and have my time directed by someone else. If I seem to encourage you to be an entrepreneur it is because this has worked so well for me for the past 28 years. I am so grateful that I have been able to flex my time and be my own boss. “The trend today is to ditch the airless cubicles and become a digital nomad, working pool side.” FINDING OUR WORK STYLE Certainly being my own boss has not always been a bed of roses, but it has suited my needs. I know however that being an entrepreneur is not for everyone. Certainly this is not one size fits all. We are all so different and have different wants and needs so I will enthusiastically present different modes of work. “How we choose to live everyday is the heaven or hell we make of our lives” We must understand that the present situation we find ourselves in today has a lot to do with the choices we’ve made in the past and are still 78 I Love My Work making. We are our own boss, even if we let someone else decide for us. Whether we work for ourselves or for someone else, we have to work like we own the company. That will make the day fly and give us more satisfaction. When we want to change we have to get in the driver’s seat of our lives and be responsible for our own life journey. We have to lose our victim mentality and stand up for ourselves. We need to act in a fair, focused and purposeful way. Stick our necks out a bit and take measurable risk. We need to get on it. Consider all our opportunities great and small and get started. We alone know what will work best for us. We need the attitude that; “if it’s going to be, it’s up to me.” – Dr. R.H. Schuller “Be responsible for your own life. No one can make you feel anything or any way without your permission.” – James Arthur Ray We are our own boss. No one and nobody has the power to change our lives like we do. We know what we love and we are the ones who can change our lives. Our lives are the reality of what we think and dream of. 79 Jeanne Moreau Couzens “We are so much more than what we see. We are more than what we believe we are and we are certainly greater than the problems we face.” STRONG AND RESILIENT We human beings are remarkably resilient when faced with set-backs and challenges. We are so much stronger, smarter, capable and able to do great things than we know. When we face adversity and trauma, we have inner resources that help us to stabilize, rebound and recover. Our inner instinct of survival clicks in and helps to restore our equilibrium. It’s amazing the strength and power we have when we need it. This incredible energy is what we tap into when we struggle and push hard to make our good life. In my work, I meet with people of all ages and backgrounds and I hear incredible chicken soup stories about their recovery and overcoming in horrendously adverse and difficult situations. Their stories, which they share so freely always energize me and keep me working and motivated to try my best to help them. It is for all these good people who I meet 80 I Love My Work and work with that I want to share this book. They have inspired me and I hope I can inspire them. Vicariously I have learned so much about human strength and how determination and hard work is the fuel that drives our dreams. I have come to see that there is very little in life that cannot be accomplished or improved upon, if we set our mind to make a positive difference. We leave our indelible mark when we strive to create goodness and our success is everyone’s success. When we build a big beautiful dream, we often leave our wonderful legacy for others to continue working on. One thing for sure is that when we bravely create a successful and inspiring dream, it works it magic moving people to greatness for years way beyond ours. LET’S DROP FAILURE OUT OF OUR VOCAB It’s always inspiring to read about people in our own family or in history that have succeeded. Brave and courageous ordinary people who just refused to quit and did extraordinary things with their lives. Somehow they found a way. 81 Jeanne Moreau Couzens Truly success never seems to come easily because we need to grow on many levels to be successful. Only where there is a will and a strong one at that, is there a way. Success is hard earned, it is not surface stuff. It takes digging deep and giving it all we’ve got. It is using our mind, body, heart and spirit to come up with solutions to problems. It is working on our challenges until we overcome our problems. It is eliminating failure from our minds and placing our focus on achieving success no matter how long it takes. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison OVERCOMING Time, diligent effort, mindfulness and faith will help us survive and overcome the barriers and difficulties we face. Cheerfully we need to do the things we need to do in order to move our dreams. The tougher the challenges the deeper we need to stand our ground and hold our own, believing in our heart that anything is possible. Crisis management means using gifts we never 82 I Love My Work knew we had until we needed them. And most of us never know how deep our reservoir of resources is until we need to start drawing on these reserves. When times are dark and scary, we need to push forward motivated by an inner knowing that our goodness awaits us at the end of the tunnel. Thankfully we will overcome. FINDING SOLUTIONS TO OUR PROBLEMS “Please don’t wait for the solutions to your problems to magically appear.” – Dr. R. H. Schuller Truly something magical seems to happen to us when we are forced to move out of our comfy corner and we need to come up with creative and resourceful ways to deal with big problems. There are times when we simply cannot retreat, when the stakes are just too high and we have to quickly come up with good ideas. We need holding power, we need to stay calm and we need to come up with the best solutions to our problems. Never ever panic and don’t retreat. “Suffice to say we lose ground fast when we retreat.” 83 Jeanne Moreau Couzens OUR STORY OF (barely) SURVIVING A DEEP RECESSION I will share a personal story of finding our good during a very bad time. In 1981 my husband Gary’s business had four successful years and seemed to be established and doing well so I decided it was time to quit full-time teaching, have a baby and be a stay at home mom to our older son and the new baby on the way. So I left my work, we bought our first home, bought a new piano, got a little kitty cat, decorated our baby’s room, put in a garden and settled into our new home. We were living our big happy family dream. I clearly remember finishing painting the new fence around our front courtyard and after enjoying a baby shower with my new neighbors, gave birth to our baby son on Thanksgiving weekend. Oh MY! We had so much to be thankful for. We were living our dream come true. This was our heaven on earth. “A few months later the deep recession of 1981 set in with a vengeance and it seems like over night our booming economy and our little piece of heaven disappeared.” 84 I Love My Work What a harsh and deep recession we found ourselves in. What a struggle to stay afloat. We were not alone, everyone (well it seemed like everyone) was struggling too. We had never experienced anything like this before. We were like fish out of water, not knowing where to turn or what to do. Oh My! Was it ever, ever a difficult experience! DAMAGE CONTROL We soon realized that we could not sit on our hands and wail like banshees. We needed to do damage control and to get going on something and fast. First off we both tried to get jobs as our business was on the ropes. Immediately I thought of going back to full-time teaching, as this would solve a lot of our problems. But due to the mass exodus we were experiencing in our city as Corporations were closing their doors, I was told that they were laying off teachers and not hiring due to a declining enrollment. Yikes. But fortunately Gary did better than I and found some bits and pieces of contract work 85 Jeanne Moreau Couzens doing drafting and graphics projects. This earning was still not enough to keep our home fires burning so we looked at all our other options and as both Gary and I have an Art education we decided to start Evergreen Workshops teaching art classes to children in our community. It didn’t pay the mortgage but at least it kept us in grocery money and we enjoyed thinking of something as timeless as Art, as our corporate and financial life was a Major stressor. So everyday we needed to look for healing and healthy ways to detox and unwind. We often went camping and hiking in the country. We did our art and lots of gardening and we stayed connected to our family, friends and community. No matter how hard it got, we always had a celebration dinner on Thursday nights. Thursdays because it gave us something midweek to look forward to. This special meal was an inexpensive home-made feast and the table was always dressed up with wild flowers or branches in the winter. We continued this tradition for many years and as our cheeky sons grew up, they called the center pieces ‘mom’s 86 I Love My Work forests.’ The good thing is that Gary painted many of those delightful bouquets from our garden and walks in nature. Many of these we sold to generate income, but fortunately we still have at least a dozen of these ‘hard times’ paintings. They are beautiful, happy, bright and colorful works of art in home-made frames and today they have become a special part of our history. Now almost thirty years later, many seasons have come and gone and we still have family art to warm up our home and our office. We all paint, Gary paints and does sculpture and our youngest son Jonah blows beautiful and colorful glass art pieces. My! How history repeats itself! “We need interests, passions, loves and hobbies to make life worth living when times are tough. “ NO TIME WASTED Like all recessions, times were tough but fortunately we knew that we had no time to waste. Our babies were growing and we couldn’t miss any opportunity to make a happy childhood 87 Jeanne Moreau Couzens for them. We fully understood that time never stands still, patiently waiting for us to have everything right in our life. We did our best to home-grow our good times and created many wonderful memories that we still cherish today. One thing I know for sure, “ Don’t wait for the right moment to come, later is often too late.” SALVAGING WHAT WE CAN I can tell you that we very narrowly escaped losing our home and business, but we did survive and gratefully came out of it albeit with years of debts to pay off. But this set back set us up for life because we learned in our early thirties to be very careful with our money. ‘Always save for a rainy day’ was one of the lessons we took to heart. Truly we never know what twists and turns life has in store for us. Forever since, we have never spent our last dime and that helps us to manage when things get tough. This was a good lesson well learned that has saved our bacon countless times as we have 88 I Love My Work experienced several other nasty recessions. I think so far we have survived at least five corrections in almost thirty years. I guess it keeps our survival skills tuned up and each downturn has certainly grown and shaped us in a positive way. “You never want to waste all the opportunities that come with a crisis.” Reversals I’ve found are great opportunities for learning and growing and this is something we all need to do. But the gift for us was that this near disaster made us so much wiser on a multitude of levels. I shudder to think how my life would be like today if I had never had a reversal before now. For certain I would not be prepared for the realities of life. The 1981 recession, painful as it was, made us so down to earth and grateful for every good little thing that comes into our lives. It was a good reality check. “We truly appreciate every little morsel of goodness. Blessings bring sunshine” 89 Jeanne Moreau Couzens THE CONSTANTS IN OUR LIFE Our work life has been re-shaped and re-invented more times than I can count. Each economic downturn has brought different strategies and plans. There has been Plan A, Plan B, Plan C and on infinitum and all have been put into practice and changed up as things have shifted. The learning curves have been tremendous and the new lingo and buzz words have come and gone. Fortunately interest and energy to keep growing and learning has never waned. In fact we keep getting a second wind after every storm and this is good because there is always a major re-building after every recession. Personally we too have had to constantly reinvent and re-tool ourselves just to keep pace with the ever changing needs. Change will always be a constant in our work and in our lives and we have to be flexible and quick to adjust or we’ll be left behind. Each change certainly brings a new learning curve but it also brings indescribable opportunities and possibilities for a better life. That’s the exciting part. The new dreams that come are amazing. We never stand still. “There is always something to be excited about” 90 I Love My Work BALANCE How we keep our sanity and balance is to know what energizes us and to make sure we make room in our busy lives to do what we enjoy and to spend quality time with those we love. I suggest we all make a list of the ‘must dos’ we want to make time for everyday. To give you an example, mine are: get fresh air everyday, enjoy some sunshine, exercise, eat well, pray/mediate, rest properly, connect with those I love and enjoy, and generally be positive and in tune with life… Of course this is just the overlay to my day as I work and play. It helps me to stay more healthy and balanced no matter what comes in and out of my life. Always we need to find a way to make our work and our life more meaningful and fun. Having a keen sense of humor is paramount to maintaining sanity in a fast-paced, and changing environment and being cheerful and positive is like putting sunshine in life. It warms our hearts and those we come into contact with. It’s amazing how much better we all feel 91 Jeanne Moreau Couzens when we look for the light side and not let everything upset us. The best thing to do in all circumstances is to be kind to ourselves and others. Try not to get riled by the big and petty things. “ Keep growing and enjoying the many facets of your lives. I believe that when we fully realize how short and precious life is, we manage balance much better”. DON’T SWEAT IT, BE COOL AND CALM We must practice being cool reactors, taking the high road and playing down potential drama and calamities. We need to stay out of office politics, remain centered and keep our focus. We need to have a life work dream that we are following step by step. We need to look for ways to enjoy every little thing, to take the best from every situation and to leave the rest which is usually unimportant anyway. “We need to be our own best friends first.” NEVER PANIC We need to really believe that worry and panic is useless and a total waste of our energies and 92 I Love My Work often we need to read the Serenity Prayer. It goes like this: “God grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Help me live one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time.” – Reinhold Niebuhr Fortunately for us we own our own business and can flex our time so that when we need a break, if we’re not busy we can do our own thing. We can go for a walk, have a coffee, read, exercise, have a chat, whatever it takes to refresh and restore. Always we try to balance work with play. This is a healthy attitude that is a priority for us. We try to stay fresh and recharged so that we can enjoy as much of our life as possible. “How we live our life is very important to us. We know we can make a positive difference. We all can.” THRIVING IN RECESSIONS AND DOWNTURNS When we come into reversals in our economy that negatively affects our business and consequently our cash flow, we always have to look for ways to positively mark our time 93 Jeanne Moreau Couzens for something good, while we wait out the downturn. After surviving the 1981/82 recession which was deep and nasty, we have never considered retreating and giving up. Now we know there is always a way to find our good and so we look for every way to still move our dream, no matter how dismal the future looks. We spend our time writing, painting, sculpting, and doing home renovations. From the lessons we have learned in previous downturns, we know that keeping our dreams alive in some way is the best antidote to surviving difficult times. It keeps the time waiting from being a waste land. The time we spend waiting for our economy to bounce back is always well spent. Like a sabbatical, we learn, grow and work on new projects. It has always been a fruitful time. By necessity we are creative, resourceful and prudent. We know that time is our greatest asset so we try to use it well and get at the things which moves our big dream in life. Certainly it makes for an amazingly interesting life. “How do you want to spend your gift of time 94 I Love My Work FIGURING OUT LIFE There is always an ebb and flow to life, and we are learning to accept the ups and downs much better as we go along. Certainly we are always on a learning curve as it is never easy maneuvering the downs but we are getting better equipped as we go along to find resourceful and productive ways to manage these slumps. . It helps to remember that good things take time. That things go forward, backwards and sideways and that we are forever walking on the shifting sands of time. We all need to have a forward thinking plan, the ‘make hay while the sun shines’ attitude to take advantage of the boom times so we can put a little extra aside for the lean times. And we need good survival skills to cope when the foundation collapses, as well as a lot of holding power for all the in- between times. Internally we need to live well in all times, never to let all the drama around us dictate who we are and how we live out our amazing life. We need to know and respect who we are and to find creative ways to fill our need to feel loved, 95 Jeanne Moreau Couzens happy, fulfilled and loving our life. Over all we need to know and appreciate that we are humans and we too are changing and evolving and this is a good thing. “When one door closes, another wider one opens.” PRIMING THE PUMP And last of all Gary and I know that we always need to hold something back to prime the pump for the dry times when we find ourselves in a desert. Certainly it’s important to share and give generously to others, but we need to keep a reserve of energy and resources to keep ourselves going and doing our thing. We never want to run ourselves dry. We all need to develop the attitude that “if it’s going to be, it’s up to me.” – Dr. R.H. Schuller We should also know that we cannot expect life or others to make us happy and to take care of us. We need to be responsible for ourselves. No matter how incapable, weak or lacking in skills we may feel, let’s never give up the opportunity to build our skills and self- esteem and to find our own way in life. Relying on outside sources to bring us our good gives 96 I Love My Work away our power and makes us feel helpless. We want to feel strong, capable and self-assured. “It is up to us how we choose to use our creative energies and resources”. BEING CREATIVE AND RESOURCEFUL When we need to work and we are desperately looking for a job, it will move things along more quickly if we research where there is work and look for what needs to be done. We may not find work that is tailor made for us, but often when we give it our best, this work turns out to be a blessing for us. We need to really use all our resources and be innovative in creating work for ourselves. It’s always best to keep working at something whether we need to retrain or try a completely new industry. THE WAITING GAME Waiting out a recession or waiting for the perfect job is not a good idea. It breaks our momentum and leaves a gap in our resume. The waiting and uncertainty I’m often told can be very deflating and keeps us on edge wondering 97 Jeanne Moreau Couzens when our work opportunity is going to come along. It is best to go find a need, anything that we can do and work it with gratitude. We just can’t give up, we have to try hard. We have to give job finding our best. THERE IS ALWAYS SOME WORK WE CAN DO Yesterday I interviewed a vibrant young lady who was a business woman at the early age of 19. When she couldn’t find a job, because of a slow down in the markets, she started her own little painting company. Her previous summer work with College Pro Painters had given her the skills and experience she needed to do her own start up. She had learned how to quote a paint job, do the buying, the equipment rental and most of all how to please the clients. So she and her four employees found clients and worked all summer painting and enjoying themselves. I was so impressed. She made a bundle of money that summer, enough to travel to the South Pacific and now she was back from her world travels and looking 98 I Love My Work for gainful employment with our firm. Her new goal now is to save enough to study nursing and I have no doubts that she will achieve her heart’s desire. “Use your imagination” BEING OUR OWN BOSS “Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” – Tiger Woods We too can create our own work, simply by looking for a need and filling it. There is always work, no matter how dire the times are. It may not be our dream job, or a high paying full-time job, but we need to know that there is always work and goodness to be found. We can do our own start up, we can work more than one job, we can do several small jobs, we can work part-time, we can always find something to do that will pay the bills. Let’s think of all the different things we can do to earn our living. What skills and services can we offer for hire that we can profit from? Let’s think of ourselves as our own little company doing what we can do working the hours we have. What would be possible for us 99 Jeanne Moreau Couzens to do? Think of what service or business you can run without a start up cost or overhead. Think hard how you can generate some income and go do it. “We can’t do everything, but we can always do something” STARTING OUR OWN BUSINESS I started doing staffing when my youngest son was a baby and our oldest son was in grade two at our community school. I had a desk and telephone in my laundry room as this happened to be the only place we had room for my little office. When baby was asleep and all was quiet, I made cold calls and did my recruiting and staffing from home. I got child-care when I needed to do interviews and appointments. It was the best of both worlds and fortunately it worked out very well for me. I chose to be at home so I could do a load of laundry, prepare meals but most of all enjoy quality time with my growing children. I don’t think my sons knew I really worked because I was not stressed out about my work/life balance. My priority was my children first and 100 I Love My Work whatever work I was able to do I was grateful for. I had realistic expectations and that helped. REALITY CHECK: Some days were long and busy, but truly overall it all balanced out. MY WORK TODAY Today our staffing company has grown, my children have grown, I have grown too and now I enjoy working in a beautiful office (which my husband and sons have built) but I still don’t mind working from home. I find that it balances my energy and often I can get more done. Most days, not always, I am able to balance my life and work as it suits me. I have less stress and less need to retire as I love my life. What a gift! 101 Jeanne Moreau Couzens DOING SURVIVAL WORK “It is time to try our wings, gain some altitude and see the world from above, get a different perspective of things. Perhaps we have followed others’ advice and wishes for our lives, tried to be a people pleaser, kept the peace, took the back seat or simply needed to work two jobs just to keep a roof over our head.” Whatever our situation is, we can always change it if we choose to. I can’t tell you all the changes and rearrangements and growing I have experienced in my life as my life and my work have morphed along. My partner Gary and I have both worked two jobs, owned several companies, have had many investments in a variety of things and have asked, seeked and knocked on many, many doors looking for our good. I would be lying if I said we have always loved our work but whatever we worked at was a stepping- stone to where we needed to go. Many times we did survival work just to keep money coming in and everything going. Most of us have worked at jobs we didn’t enjoy just to survive and to keep the cash flowing in and certainly working two jobs doing work that 102 I Love My Work is beneath our skills and expectations has been trying - to say the least. But we do the best we can to create a better life for ourselves and those we love. Remember we are getting ahead. Slowing but surely. Again most of us need to earn and are willing to do what it takes to bring home the bacon but always we need to keep our personal life work dreams alive while we are doing survival work. NEVER GET TRAPPED Time quickly flies by and we need to stay mindful of what we want to be doing at what stages in our lives. We need to coordinate our personal lives with our work life as these are closely inter-related. And we need to resist the temptation of getting trapped in doing survival work all of our lives if we can possibly help it. EARNING OUR DAILY BREAD I have often worked doing survival jobs in the past. Gary and I did office cleaning at night to 103 Jeanne Moreau Couzens pay for our university education. Fortunately when we graduated we worked in our careers, although for extra cash we have often resorted back to survival work. For anyone who doesn’t know what survival work is, it is doing something which is not our cup of tea but it helps pay the bills, and there is nothing to be ashamed of for doing an honest days’ work in an effort to earn our living. But we need to keep in mind that we don’t really want to do survival work for our entire life if we can help it. It’s great when we need to just get any type of work to get the cash flowing. But let’s remind ourselves often, that we are doing what we have to do, to get one step closer to the work and life we love. Humble note: I know many people who enjoy working survival jobs so they can live the lifestyle they love. Many musicians, artists, aspiring athletes, pensioned retirees... work at jobs that fill whatever needs they have. Whether it be financial, social, flexible hours, the list goes on. 104 I Love My Work MOVING OUT OF SURVIVAL WORK Assuming we are presently doing survival work that is a stepping stone for us, we need to look for our next move towards our dream. As soon as we can see our way clear, we need to move our lives beyond survival mode. I know that it takes plenty of energy and risking again to move out and on, but this is what we need to do. Let’s not lose our nerve. We need to create heaven on earth for ourselves and others. We need to co-create our highest dreams. We need to set new goals for ourselves. We need to get inspired again. We need to discover and work towards building our magnum opus, our own beautiful work of art. We need to have a plan, a dream that makes us want to bound out of bed in the morning. It’s so important that we love our life. We need our own little piece of heaven on earth to enjoy. We need to have faith and hope again. We need to make time to find our life work dreams again. Carefully we need to determine at what point we can move out of survival mode and into living the life we love. But most 105 Jeanne Moreau Couzens importantly we need to give ourselves the opportunity to do what we love. “Every minute counts’ WE NEED TO GIVE OURSELVES PERMISSION TO SEEK AND CREATE OUR OWN LIFE AND WORK DREAMS. Every New Year I write in a work journal I’ve had going since year 2000 what my highest goals and dreams are. I list what I would LOVE to see come true in my personal life, in my family life and in my work life. I list dreams that I hope to realize in one year, two years, five years and whenever they can materialize in my lifetime. What I find truly amazing is that when I go back to read these over, almost always my dreams have materialized. This is my best motivation to write down my dreams and to work for them. Honestly dreams do come true. Maybe not always in the time frame that I had hoped for, but at some point, unless I change my mind on some dream, step by step good things happen. So I go back and write 106 I Love My Work by my goal when it came to be. I have a long collection of amazing dreams and goals that have come true for me. Truly unbelievable things that I am willing to share with anyone who will listen. “I have to tell you how sweet the joy of gratitude is, how encouraging it is to experience prayers answered and how over the top it is to realize a big dream.” It puts me on an incredible high of natural endorphins. Now these are big dreams, even miracles happening in my life and little dreams too that I have worked to make real. I find it difficult to talk about dreams without talking about the faith we have to keep alive along with our dreams. WE NEED FAITH TO DREAM, WE NEED FAITH TO KEEP OUR DREAM ALIVE, AND WE NEED BIG FAITH TO MAKE OUR DREAMS COME TRUE. A dream without faith is like a car without gas, a kite without a breeze and life without love and sunshine. “Without faith our dreams never move forward, never lift off to the sky and 107 Jeanne Moreau Couzens wither on the vine”. We need faith in a spiritual power to move our big dreams. This will put us in favor with all of life. It gives us go-power and the wisdom to hold on and to keep going when things get tough. Our dreams need to be moved by our mind, our heart, our body, our spirit and our faith. FAITH “Faith can help us move mountains, build the incredible and achieve the impossible.” It plugs us into a divine power source that never runs out, is available to all and connects us with every goodness in life. The strength of one becomes unlimited when we tap into the force of the whole universe, because we work in synergy with a multitude of resources. The good thing is we always have this faith and synergy available to us, but the problem is we don’t always include it in our day to day life. Most often we stubbornly try to go it alone and end up fighting with ourselves and all of life. Truly it is close to impossible to create a fabulous life and work dream that we absolutely love without using all of our 108 I Love My Work resources. WE NEED MIND, HEART, BODY AND SPIRIT working together in balance and perfect harmony to live the life we were destined to enjoy. Humble note: Some people may find it strange how a book about finding our life and work dream would venture into the realm of faith. I can assure you that the people I meet who succeed in living a well adjusted and beautiful life/work reality most often are people who have big faith. They know they can’t control everything in their lives and have an easier time letting go and trusting that their good will find them. We can only do our best and we have to believe in the goodness of life to cover for us and to take over where we leave off. Faith is believing in a greater power than ourselves. Faith builds up our resources and give us incredible holding power. Faith give us vision and the belief that we can do it. Never go it alone! “Even a little faith goes a long way.” 109 Jeanne Moreau Couzens BALANCING OUR WORK AND OUR PRIVATE LIFE We shortchange ourselves and get out of balance when we work only in one dimension. It can be done, but it is not a satisfying and fulfilling life. Often we burn out early. It makes us very one sided, and puts all our eggs in one basket and this is not good. We need to move with our biorhythms, engaging mind, body and spirit and doing work that we are passionate about and living the life of our dreams. The secret to a good life and work dream is to balance out as best we can all of our energy sources. “Get in harmony with your life” LIVING WELL Living a good life means balancing and blending all aspects of our life, always looking for ways our work can fit in seamlessly with our personal life. I fondly remember a book I read many years ago about the life of Bernard and Laura Ashley. Now we know how successful 110 I Love My Work they were at balancing their private life with their big work life. They never pretended to be all business to gain credibility. They were proud to say they blended both their work and home life. At the time I was a public school junior high Art Teacher working and I mean this in a nice way, in a job box. It was a good job, one of my big dreams come true. I loved my students, I loved the creative aspect of my work, but I found the rigid work schedule difficult to balance with raising our infant son. I wanted to spend more time with my little fellow and I wanted to teach too, plus I needed to earn a full income as my husband was starting out in business and I was the steady income earner. Reading about Laura and Bernard started me thinking more seriously about finding a way to enjoy a better life/work balance. “Make it art’ COMBINING MY WORK LIFE WITH MY PERSONAL LIFE Something I read about Laura Ashley started 111 Jeanne Moreau Couzens me dreaming of perhaps one day combining my work life with my private life so they didn’t compete for the same energies and resources but complimented each other. In my own words the book said that Laura and Bernard Ashley felt so fortunate that they could work together and create a successful business life by doing what they loved and were passionate about. Their business was intertwined with what they believed in, what they both loved and what they were passionate about. It was difficult to separate their life from their work. It all flowed, fed each other and flew. This little “ah ha” moment planted a seed dream in me that remains strong to this day. I suspect Ralph Lauren, Martha Stewart, and April Cornell to name a few creative entrepreneurs have enjoyed working on balancing their life and work dreams. Creating a satisfying and successful work and private life does not happen automatically. It takes time, work, careful planning and a measure of artfulness. To this day I am still trying to get it right, as the balance always shifts. 112 I Love My Work THREADING IT ALL TOGETHER SEAMLESSLY After thirty five years of working in Teaching, Recruiting, Staffing and Career work, I firmly believe that we need to carefully balance our life and work journey so they seamlessly fit together. Our life and our work should compliment each other and use our best gifts and talents. To successfully live our life and work dream is in my opinion such a huge gift. Like Martha Stewart said – “it’s an experience that we encounter once or twice in our lifetime, if we are lucky”. Well we are lucky and if we don’t feel lucky, we want to feel lucky. Let’s work incrementally on finding balance and joy in our lives and on feeling lucky and blessed. THINK OF WAYS THAT YOU CAN IMPROVE YOUR GOOD FORTUNE We will make our own good luck, like the pioneers who had vision and tenacity, we will look for our good and pursue it with a passion. We have the same visionary and steadfast spirit 113 Jeanne Moreau Couzens that our grandparents and parents had. We have the same hard working habits, motivation and desire to create a wonderful life. The same faith and hope is in us and we have the added luxury of technology which connects us in a heart-beat to the whole world. “We will make our good fortune”. FEELING LUCKY One quick story. I grew up in a small town and on Saturday night everyone cleaned up and went downtown to the movies, to pick up groceries, go to play bingo but most of all to socialize. It was a ‘big night out on the town.’ My mom always went to play bingo and sometimes I went to be with her. We all know how bingo players like their good luck charms, well my mom always said I was her good luck charm. Actually mom won a sizable sum when I was with her, but truth be told mom often won because she bought tickets to support good causes. She made her own good luck as we all need to do. We all need to be our own good luck charms, 114 I Love My Work to be a gift to ourselves and to others. To really believe we’ve got what it takes within us to be anything we want to be. “Let’s be tenacious.” LIFE IS JUST TOO SHORT TO BE WASTED. “..time is the least thing we have” – Ernest Hemingway Whatever age we are, whatever our past experiences have been, whatever our passions and dreams are, whatever our talents and short comings are, it is never too late or too early to create the good life and work experience we so love and believe in. Let’s make the best use of our time here on earth and resolve never to waste a moment on doing the negatives. Let’s break any bad thoughts and habits we have which demoralizes us and keeps us in the bondage of low self-esteem and fear and let’s replace these negatives with uplifting and life affirming thoughts and actions. Let’s fully grasp how precious and fleeting life is and let’s go for the gold. And if times are difficult, let’s know that there are still plenty of good opportunities to be found. Let’s always 115 Jeanne Moreau Couzens make the most of what we have by honoring ourselves and respecting the time we are given. Foreign Job-Seekers For the past ten years I have had the good pleasure of working with many foreign job seekers, and sometimes they have been here for just 3 days before I meet with them. Honestly I have yet to meet a dead beat. Their strength and enthusiasm gives me so much energy. They are so humble and yet so determined to find their dreams in this new country. Truly they have given me a new vision of how important work is and a deep appreciation of my home country and how fortunate we are. DIVERSITY I had the good fortune of growing up in a multi-cultural home where English was our second language so it feels so natural for me to connect with each of these wonderful immigrants. I know first hand how much harder we have to work to prove ourselves when 116 I Love My Work English is our second language. Hope, faith, hard work and enthusiasm for a new opportunity is what keeps us moving along towards our new dreams. I am delighted to see that in my children’s generation and with the arrival of technology, these good young people have less prejudices and limitations than our boomer generation. Today we have the amazing ability of easily connecting and working with our whole world. Truly the world is our oyster and we all benefit in so many wonderful ways from this incredible experience of working with each other across continents. We are more connected to each other and belong to the whole world. What a dream come true! “Being connected globally is beyond amazing” LET’S NIX ALL PREJUDICES No matter what our age, background, skill sets, set backs, set ups, whatever, life is just too short and precious to waste on prejudices, such as age, racial, religious, class, educational, social status and sexual discrimination. Have I 117 Jeanne Moreau Couzens missed any? Let’s rise above regrets, grudges, bad attitudes, big egos, ignorance, fear, toxic people and avoid office and family politics and pettiness. Let’s look for every morsel of good and nix the negatives. They only bring us all down. Remember we were not put here on earth to judge, keep score and set people straight and thank goodness for that. Let’s do onto others as we would have others do onto us. This is a golden rule. LET’S CREATE A GOOD LIFE, A BETTER LIFE THAN WE HAVE. Let’s build a good work life for ourselves. If we work as an employee, let’s give it our absolute best, diligently doing what is ours to do so we can peacefully leave work behind us at the end of the day knowing that we have done our very best. Our work life is important, as are our other relationships. If we are unhappy at work unfortunately it usually negatively affects everything at home. Conversely if we are unhappy 118 I Love My Work at home and in our relationships with our family and friends, it too negatively affects our work. We have to be careful that we don’t get into a sinkhole of negative relationships both at home and at work. Unhappiness breeds and spreads like germs. Be forewarned negativity can contaminate and infect a whole work team or family. BEWARE OF TOXIC ATTITUDES Let’s be aware of what is a life-affirming attitude and what is destructive thinking and behavior. If we find ourselves in daily contact with any negatives let’s find ways to detox ourselves. Walking, praying, meditating, resting, sharing our hardships and enjoying time out from being in a difficult situation will help us to cope, heal and recoup from the stress of our day. We just simply have to let go of toxic things. When we hit glitches let’s just say OKAY, ENOUGH and move on, the quicker the better. We can’t take everything to heart or our heart will wear out. 119 Jeanne Moreau Couzens Every single day we have to dump all the negatives from our consciousness. We need to scrub ourselves clean from all the garbage we collect in a day. If we let it fester within us, it will infect us with all kinds of diseases. Our primary goal is to look for all the ways we can stay healthy in mind, body and spirit. We want to detox and make room for happy and healing thoughts. Forgive and forget. Move on. Let’s always try our best to stay focused on all the good things going on in our lives. We want to always take good care of our health. We want to stay rested, get our proper sleep, try to always eat well, exercise daily and make time to enjoy our friends, interests and hobbies. We want to bless our work and our relationships as they in turn will bless us. We want to stay in love with life and to keep dreaming. We want to constantly work on building a better life for ourselves and others. We always want to have happy goals and dreams to strive for. Let’s commit to co-creating a better life for ourselves and others. 120 I Love My Work “GET HAPPY” IS THE BEST MEDICINE We all deserve a better life. We are not here on earth to be miserable. Life is meant to be enjoyed, but we do have to participate in creating our joy. We are given the seeds, but we have to plant and grow our own gardens. So let’s get happy. It’s been proven that happy people have longevity plus it is an easier way to make the world go round. We all know the grouches, the victims, the toxic, the energy drainers, the bored and boring, the whiners, the downers, the abusers, the difficult, the prickly personalities, the tough cookies, the needy and the greedy. Let’s resolve not be one of them. Let’s be happy, vibrant, healthy, helpful, optimistic, hopeful, kind, caring, gentle, forgiving, up- building, positive, easy on ourselves and others and the very best we can be. Trust me we will find our way, we will live better lives and we will make a huge difference. Live a life worth living. Get happy and leave a beautiful legacy. Always be kind, warm and fuzzy. 121 Jeanne Moreau Couzens DO WHAT YOU LOVE I have worked in the business of putting people to work for many years and I always tell these good people to do what it is that they love. Now we all know what we love to do. It’s just that we don’t always feel comfortable just doing what we love. How can it be more simple. I can think of a thousand ways to say this. It is the truth. We just need to do what we love in life and our goodness will find us. FINDING THE ARTIST IN OURSELF I’ll be the first to admit that I am allergic to Math. I don’t know why, but it never appealed to me. I suppose it has something to do with limiting conversation and just doing the numbers, and all who know me know that I LOVE conversation with others. I learn so much in conversations and people are always so good to share. My education after high school was a B.Ed. with a major in Art and Psychology. Now I love both of these subjects and they have served me 122 I Love My Work well in my work and in my life, but I always try to include my challenge subjects so I am more well-rounded. Oh My! What a chore that is. For both teacher and student. To my delight I discovered over the years of working with countless job seekers from every discipline that within all of us there is a creative spirit in our soul that is alive and thriving. No matter what our major was in the school of life, we are all artists. Unfortunately many of us were not encouraged to express this special gift within us but believe me, it is there and waiting to be tapped and enjoyed. When we combine creativity with our math or science or technology skills, we have just turbo boosted our output. Let’s always look at the many areas we can find interest and potential in. Let’s keep all our options open. Remember it is never too late to learn something new, to challenge ourselves to pick up new skills and knowledge in an area we have previously avoided. I admit that some abilities and talent come more easily to us than others, but let’s not restrict ourselves. When we are searching for our life and work passion, let’s 123 Jeanne Moreau Couzens explore everything. Leave no stone unturned. Very often, we never know what will bless us until we try it. FINDING OUR SELF-CONFIDENCE Finding our self-confidence is about as difficult as believing that we are all artists. Probably more difficult, but very possible. Here again not many of us growing up were told that we were good, we were special, we were loved, we were talented, we were so cute or pretty or handsome or the best in the world. And if we were told this, often our life experiences quickly told us otherwise and soon we started believing the negatives and our self-esteem has taken a beating. OUR PARENTS Our good parents, at least mine, focused their love and attention on making sure we were fed, doing our homework, were polite and clean and home safe in bed at night and truly I am very grateful for that. 124 I Love My Work I was raised in a Euro household where English was our second language and my parents and family struggled to be accepted in our English- speaking community. We were trying to learn the language and to fit in on many levels. My parents encouraged us to keep our opinions to ourselves, to always be polite and clean and to stay out of trouble. Self-confidence and good self-esteem was not a word in my parents’ vocabulary. I often heard ‘just work hard and things will work out’. Now these are good basic lessons that will take us far, but I’ve found that positive self-esteem gives us an incredible boost in our life’s journey and helps build up our self-confidence. It is never too late to build up and honor our self-respect and self-worth as these are the tap roots of our self-esteem and self- confidence. Everyday we need to replenish our need for self-confidence as it seems to wax and wane with the ins and outs of life. We need to find ways to generate within ourselves positive feelings affirming that we are good, we are healthy, and we are talented, lovable and worthwhile people, even when we 125 Jeanne Moreau Couzens make mistakes and fail. Let’s always look for ways to regenerate good self-esteem and self- confidence within ourselves and others. Make it a daily practice. “Like happiness, love and sunny days, we can never have enough.” ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE Many of my dear ESL job seekers present themselves in an interview very eager to please and desperate for work. They are not showy or bold, they are more polite and let little of their special personalities shine through. Often they are desperate for work in their chosen field and don’t want to risk losing a job opportunity by saying the wrong thing. Many times if I feel it will help, I try to engage them in personal conversation to help them relax. I encourage them to just be their best selves, to feel comfortable, to smile and to be more self-assured about their abilities. I wish I could spend more time helping to boast up the many people I see who lack self-confidence. Lack of self-esteem and self confidence makes life so much more difficult 126 I Love My Work and complicated than it needs to be. Truly it holds us back from living fully. Lacking selfconfidence is often mixed in with fear of failure, and other nasty little scoundrels. My entire adult life I have had a fascination with knowing more about finding direct ways to build self-confidence in ourselves and others, and to help unearth the extraordinary and amazingly good and beautiful resources and talents we all possess. “I love unleashing a captive spirit eager to live a good life.” THE BOOMER GENERATION I think we the boomer generation have tried hard to give our children all the things we didn’t get as children ourselves. I admit we have gone a bit overboard on some things, but it is a pleasure to see how much more confident and open-minded our young people are. Our new millennium children are so global thinking, have technological savvy, are eco- friendly, have less prejudices, they are much more self-confident, are well travelled and better connected with their world. They love 127 Jeanne Moreau Couzens themselves more easily than we boomers did and it carries over to loving others and their big green world. “Oh my! This is such a good thing” Some may argue that they have deferred growing up because in comparison, we certainly rushed growing up, but I think they are just taking the time they need to mature and find their own way in life. I love them dearly and think it is wonderful how confident they are in expressing themselves. They don’t have the same need to be perfect in every way that we boomers felt we had to be. Most of them have been loved unconditionally and it shows. “Take your time” WE TOO CAN DO IT! Now boomers, we too are learning to love ourselves and this has created more self- esteem and confidence in ourselves. This is such a good thing. But unlike our children who were told they were good, they were cute and honey YOU CAN DO IT, and if you need coaching we will get that for you, we have had 128 I Love My Work to parent ourselves into believing in ourselves. We have had to often detox and heal from the things of our childhood and coach ourselves in feeling good about who we are and from time to time we need to give our self-confidence a huge BOOST. This is not second nature to us, and it does not come easy. It seems to me we are always in remission and like managing our weight and staying fit, we have to keep at it. “Let’s work on it” CHANGING FROM THE INSIDE OUT When we consider changing our work life, or our personal lifestyle, we have to start small and grow in increments. The ‘go hard or go home’ does not work here. Why? Because we are changing something very close and personal to us and we want to get it right and make it last. We have to understand that changing is VERY stressful. Of course it helps if we have instigated the change and it is a move up, but still it is difficult to love every minute of change. Why? Because we have a fear of the 129 Jeanne Moreau Couzens unknown and we are afraid of what lies ahead of us. We question whether we will be able to handle it and whether we will be successful. We all hate moving backwards in life, we always strive to get ahead, to find work we love and a life that is meaningful and wonderful. “We never know what is around the corner, but let’s not let that hold us back.” OUR JOURNEY OF CHANGE When we are looking for work, we can expect to have days when we question whether we will ever find the work we love. The longer it takes for us to find work, the more we will be nagged by worries and doubts about our future. Our fear is expressed in thoughts like “how will I make a go of it? Can I connect with my good or am I going to be overlooked and side-lined. What if I don’t find work? What if I am making a big mistake? What if I don’t have what it takes? Do I want another disappointment in my life and on it goes.” Often when we begin our journey of change we will find ourselves on an emotional roller coaster. We will vacillate between elation and fear. This 130 I Love My Work will spike and fluctuate our thoughts, emotions and energy levels. From my experience I have found there are some things in life that we just have to do without second guessing ourselves or we’ll talk ourselves out of it. We just have to override our fears and move on with hope-filled faith. “Just Do It! Don’t be driven by the emotion of fear.” OFTEN LIFE MAKES DECISIONS FOR US For many years I knew I wanted to change my day to day work experience. It was high stress, fastpaced and labor intensive, but it paid well. I kept at it and on difficult days I would set a date in the future when I planned to move on, but today never seemed like the right day to call it quits. Continuously I would make myself a promise that I would work until a certain date, usually two or five years away, depending on how tough a day I was having. Twice the dates I’d set came to be, but I just kept on working and again I would set another date sometime in the future. “Postponing is delaying what we need to do” 131 Jeanne Moreau Couzens IT WAS ALWAYS “NOT TODAY” For some reason it was always two to five years away. As time went on my family started to tune out when I talked about changing my work, they had heard it all before. Worst of all I started to tune out too as I had heard it all before as well and nothing ever really changed. Then when I turned fifty-five, one of the target dates I had hoped to make a big work change in my life, life made the change for me. I was diagnosed with an illness that required surgery. After surgery I had to stay home to recoup with my leg up so I would not get blood clots going to my heart. For two weeks I had to stay healing flat on my back in my bed upstairs barely able to manage the stairs. I was in pain, but what was more painful was waiting for the pathology to come back. I’d been told they could not get all the growths out of my ankle and the doctors were unsure if it was cancer or not. The tumors had leached into my blood source so it could be bad news. I went back and forth between fear and faith. It was a very trying time but the good 132 I Love My Work news came that it was not cancer. Hurrah! This whole ordeal was such a huge learning experience for me and the best news is that this gave me a whole new lease on life, the gift of time to think and work on my dreams. I began to live in Today. “Many positive changes are fuelled by adversity” RE-FRAMING While I spent six weeks healing I thought about a lot of things in my life. I knew full well that I needed to change the way I worked. My work was all consuming and that was not good for me. I needed to re-frame and change up how I thought of work and how I did my work. I knew I wanted to have more “me” time to paint, write and just smell the roses. I felt so grateful that I had been richly gifted with a second chance to redesign the life I dream of. Today I have a new lease on life. “Instead of trying to get to my destination in a hurry, I know that I have many years to work out my dreams.” 133 Jeanne Moreau Couzens CHANGING THE WAY I WORK What did I change? Well first of all my attitude towards my work and my life. Now I am more relaxed and I know on a bad day ‘THAT THIS TOO WILL PASS.’ I don’t take everything so seriously. I understand that there will always be screamers and difficult times. This is life. I know that I can only do my best in each moment I have and I am very O.K. with not being perfect myself. I am human and I am allowed to make mistakes as we all are. I am more tolerant and have mellowed. I know I can change the way I work and this has made a tremendous difference. I now love my work. MOVING HOMES Secondly I moved homes. For seven years my good husband tried to light a fire under me to move me out of our present home, but I always resisted. I loved my neighborhood, I liked my home and most important I loved the good memories shared with our children. Always there were excuses. 134 I Love My Work When I lay recouping I thought about living in a community like we live in now that has every amenity within walking distance. I reasoned that it made sense to move while I was still young, healthy and able. In my positive moments I thought I could make new friends, create new memories and find all my new sacred places. In other words I could make myself at home, warm up the new place. CLOSING ONE CHAPTER OF MY LIFE One thing which had previously held me back, was that I knew I had to sort through thirty years of living memorabilia and accumulated junk and start bailing out. I am a pack rat so moving was going to be an enormous job going through all the years of memories. The other reason I stayed is because moving out of our family home was like closing a chapter in my life. Here we had raised our active boys into manhood and there was still a strong link to my parenting days. The same kitchen table we’d sat around and had shared meals, great conversations, helping with their homework, ...many golden 135 Jeanne Moreau Couzens moments filled with good memories that still warmed my heart. But I did it, I moved and I am happy I did. And I love my new lifestyle. Now I live closer to my work so I can walk to work, come home for lunch and it makes me feel like a kid in school again. I walk through beautiful nature and through parks and past schools and it brings me back to my most basic childhood memories of living a good simple life. OUR LIFE/WORK BALANCE I spend less time in and out of office elevators and driving in downtown traffic. Mind you I still enjoy the energy of my vibrant city, but I am getting healthier from my peaceful walks in nature. I have the good fortune of living in an old community with huge backyards, mature trees and amazing wildlife. For years I had dreamed of moving to this community I so love – and here I am. Thirty five years ago we lived in this community when we were university students and now we have moved from the burbs where we raised our 136 I Love My Work children and live more inner city. Life is so good and getting better all the time. Our dreams do come true if we never give up on them or ourselves. BACK TO A HOME OFFICE Last but not least, I have set up a complete home office and can work from home when I am not with clients. I love this and this too I had dreamed of doing for years. Best of all I can paint and write when I have time in between my day to day work. It just balances out my personal and work life and I can make better use of my time as I move from one task to another. I am loving it. Every week I take one morning or one afternoon to follow my spirit. I don’t have that guilty feeling of always having to work away as I did before and slowly I am preparing to transition into less day to day work and a more balanced life. Little by little I am growing into living my life and work dream and I’m finding I love my work more when I have the ability to enjoy personal 137 Jeanne Moreau Couzens time too. Today I have a better balance between work and my personal life. Continually I am working on a good work/life balance that is tailor made for me. This is something we all need to work towards. Life is just too short to be all one or the other. “It is so important to find the right life/work balance.” MY NEW DREAM Nowadays I am telling everyone and anyone who will listen that I want to work in a warmer climate, pool side or walking the beach. I have no doubt it will come to be. I just don’t know when. For the present I know that I am doing what I am suppose to be doing right now. I enjoy my work and there is still more learning, giving and growing for me to do here. Now I understand there is a flow and order to life and being patient always makes our growing time more productive and enjoyable. We all need to find our place in life and we need to be at peace about what step we are on, never comparing ourselves with others. 138 I Love My Work We need to be patient and to know that we are where we should be and doing what we should be doing at this time. When the time is right and we are truly ready for our next adventure, we will move on. It helps to remember that some learning curves take us longer than others and we can’t rush to get to our dream destination. We need to understand that there is so much learning, growing and sharing that we need to do each step of the way. So let’s relax and enjoy the journey. Think positive. “If you want your life to be more rewarding, you have to change the way you think.” – Oprah Winfrey STARTING SOMEWHERE At some point we find ourselves ready to take the next step towards our new life and work dreams. We come to the point of no return, we are ready and we need to make a start... somewhere. The reasons we are seeking to make a positive change in our work life varies from person to person. Some of us have been laid off or fired from 139 Jeanne Moreau Couzens our work, some of us are planning to leave our present work and some of us are re- entering the work force after taking time off, or perhaps we are seeking our first ever job. Perhaps we are retiring and looking for an interesting and meaningful life/work balance. All these various situations certainly bring different needs and expectations but finding work we love is pretty much the same for someone who has been fired or for someone wanting to enter or re-enter the job market. We all have the same fears and concerns about finding suitable work and making a good choice with our life’s resources. We all want to get it right. We want to find the work we LOVE and will use our best talents and bless us and others. “We all have great expectations” MY ADVICE We need to seriously consider all our options. Never burn our bridges. Let’s never be an ‘all or nothing’ person. Look for every stepping stone to build a path to our dream work. Look for 140 I Love My Work all the great possibilities available. We need to always take our time to make good choices. I strongly advocate to take more courses if you must. Take a cut in pay if it means getting the job you love. Do volunteer work in your field of interest if you have the financial means as this experience will build your self- confidence and will better prepare you for your dream work. HANDLING REJECTION Always be creative, resourceful, innovative and resilient with the many delays and rejections we all face. Be persistent, cheerful and confident that you will find your way to your desired work life. Look for ways to do damage control and detox from the disappointment and frustration that comes with a reversal. Let’s never allow setbacks to stop us from pursuing our deepest dreams and desires. We need to look for positive solutions when we are struggling with a potential calamity. Persevere in the face of all odds. 141 Jeanne Moreau Couzens DO HONORABLE WORK When you have an offer for work don’t put on the blinders if it compromises your values or if it is not something you want or can do. And always do due diligence before you sign on for a job. Make sure you feel comfortable with the terms of work offered to you. Walk away from a job that raises red flags of concern within you. Look for work that you can be proud of. Never be pressured by anyone or outside forces to go against your better judgment. Make sure the work offered to you is honest, honorable and respects you – the valued worker. Never work in an abusive environment, even if the job pays big bucks and has plenty of perks. Make sure the work is suitable for you and gets you excited and energized. Always find healthy and safe work, something good that expresses your best self and fills the basic need of every human being for respect and dignity. “The work we do should honor our spirit.” 142 I Love My Work FLEXIBLE Sometimes it is better to just do something rather that wait for exactly what we want. We always have to be flexible and cooperative. Earlier I suggested that we think seriously about accepting a job offer but conversely I also believe we need to think long and hard before we say no to a job. Before we say no to a job offer, let’s mull it over to see if there is any way this work can move our dream in the long run, even if it is survival work that barely pays the bills. Most importantly keep in mind that you can always move on to something else, as this is not a life sentence. There is no crime in trying out something, giving it a test drive to see first hand if it can work for us. Remember we are not getting married to our job. We can change up as we see fit and when better opportunities present themselves. 143 Jeanne Moreau Couzens JOB HUNTING Everyone agrees that job hunting is a stressful and uncertain time as well as very hard work. This is true. We have to stay organized and continue our search no matter how many rejections we have. We have to pull our spirits up and keep going, knowing there is work out there and we will be successful in finding it if we keep looking. It’s a good idea to get a coach or a buddy to help keep up our morale. Look for someone who is supportive and has your best interest at heart. Someone you trust so you can do constructive whining and venting when you need to detox. “SMILE, our best days are still ahead of us” RECHARGING Certainly we do need to take breaks and to get away to refresh and recharge ourselves. We need to take our minds off of the challenges we face everyday in finding work. Overdoing it is 144 I Love My Work not a good thing and we have to stay balanced between work and play, always seeking enjoyable ways to be healthy and sensible and most of all making the best of our situation. The best advice I can give is to try your hardest to keep your sense of hope and faith up. Keep your sense of humor and look for every way to lighten up and have fun. Be sensible and go easy on yourself and others. Walk off frustration and impatience when you hit rejection and delays, know that good things take time. Always keep your deepest dreams alive, know it will all work out if you pursue your passion without getting discouraged and giving up. Hang in there! Never, Ever quit on yourself. Look for every way imaginable to keep your dreams alive. “Do the job hunting well, then take a break and take it easy.” DAMAGE CONTROL “This is the best time and the worst time of my life.” – A job seeker. When we fall on bad times and encounter difficult situations that we had little or no control over, it’s very normal to feel shock, 145 Jeanne Moreau Couzens denial, anger, fear, confusion, depression, fatigue, isolated, restless and very anxious about our future. If we have been laid-off or fired from our work we need to know that we will probably experience some difficult emotional and financial times. Even if we didn’t love our work, it was still keeping us afloat and giving us the dignity of paying our bills. Losing our work for whatever reasons often brings on pain and grieving before we come to acceptance of our loss and are able to move on. We will need to take our time to sort through the stages and to heal. The good news is we will overcome our pain and despair and the sooner we can move on, the better. HEALING AFTER A LOSS If you find yourself in this position, look for someone who is warm-hearted and understanding to help you focus on what plans you can make for the future. Don’t feel bad if you are not feeling on top of the world. You have suffered a major loss and 146 I Love My Work need time to heal and regain your balance, time to recreate a positive outlook and a healthy perspective. When faced with a colossal shift, we need to allow ourselves the time we need to grieve and heal a painful loss, a setback, a heart break and overall any difficult life changes. May it be balm to our wounds to know that good things are waiting in the wings for us to claim. However we need to do damage control and believe we will have our day in the sun again and hopefully soon. So let’s try our best not to drag our pain around with us for too long. We don’t want to make this tough time a new normal for us. We want to deal with our set back and move on asap. We have to look for all the things which gives us energy and a feeling of wellness. We need to make every effort to positively connect with ourselves and life again. “Discovering the ways in which you are exceptional, the particular path you are meant to follow, is your business on this earth.” – Bernie S, Siegel 147 Jeanne Moreau Couzens RESEARCHING OUR POSSIBILITIES How many of us really don’t know what we want to do with our one good life? Not having a clue does not mean there isn’t a better life waiting for us, it just means we need to spend more time researching our possibilities. Many of us struggle to find our way out of the house in the morning, let alone know the career and life path we want to take and this is all fine. I too have had many false starts and that is part of the learning curve. We all know what we love but it’s not always so easy knowing what our life and work dreams are. So let’s just relax and enjoy the process and the metamorphing we experience as we research our incredible possibilities. “When you are genuinely interested in one thing, it will always lead to something else.” – Eleanor Roosevelt It’s good to know that each chapter in our life brings with it new dreams, new opportunities, all kinds of great possibilities, and different exciting paths to explore. 148 I Love My Work OPPORTUNITIES ABOUND There is no right or wrong way and there are many, many roads that lead us to our dream destination. I strongly believe that we never miss the boat, we never have only one opportunity, there are always other means to get us to where we want to go. I often hear how frustrated and impatient my job-finders are in getting the job they want. Often I hear them lament how they missed their opportunity of a lifetime. Wrong, so wrong. We never miss an opportunity of our lifetime. We have opportunities every single day of our lives. When we miss one, well often it wasn’t meant for us. Maybe we wouldn’t have been ready for this big break and we would have bombed. Lots of maybe’s but one thing I know for sure is our good will always find us if we remain open and receptive to receiving it. For certain we have to ‘ASK, SEEK AND KNOCK, and it will be given to us. I promise. We have to find what we love, what we are excellent at, perhaps even exceptional at doing. 149 Jeanne Moreau Couzens Like Bernie Siegel says “pursue it with a passion and never quit until we are living our dream.” “Let’s always count our opportunities and not our losses” TIME LINES My dream of changing up my day to day work and moving homes took me three years to do and years and years of dreaming and planning. DIVINE ORDER Don’t’ get discouraged if it takes time to make your dream come true. When the time is right, it all comes together and even more beautifully than we could have ever imagined. Trust that there is always a very good reason why we are not doing the ‘big thing’ we are in a hurry to do. Truly there is a divine order to life and everything is working out perfectly, whether we see it this way or not. Hindsight will vouch for this. “Enjoy the moment” 150 I Love My Work RELAX Oh My! How we stress and fret over things taking too long, not turning out the way we had hoped for, not getting what we wanted, feeling like we are going no where fast, and all the thousand things which can really whip us up. I read that as we grow older we become calmer and less easily upset. WOW! Now that is good news. Especially for me as I am a ‘now’ girl. The other great news is that we are better able to stand up to the chaos in our lives and not let stress and uncertainty pummel us into mush. How do we do this? We need to take the much needed time out to walk, pray, meditate, sleep, rest, do yoga, do sports, sing, dance, laugh, cry, vent, center ourselves and do whatever it takes to unwind us and make us feel whole again. Nix anxiety and stress, don’t ever let it grow into a terrible habit, detox, recharge and RELAX! “Never let negative emotions run your life.” 151 Jeanne Moreau Couzens PUTTING THE PIECES TOGETHER Every day is a good day to work on our life and work dreams, just as everyday is a great day to think about how we can make the good things in life come to be. We need to dream, like we need to eat and sleep. Many of us have a good idea of how we want our work and life to look and feel like. We just don’t always know how to make it all come together. Money is often a big factor, but you know what, the good news is, we can get around that too. We cannot and should not let money push us around forcing us to live a life that we don’t feel is right for us. When we know in our heart of hearts that we are fully equipped with everything we need to live a happy and successful life, we should confidently make our move towards living this vision. Happiness and goodness finds us wherever we are. I am not overlooking the fact that money is important, certainly it greases the wheels, but there are so many ways of getting around it if 152 I Love My Work it creates a barrier for us. I know many people who live exceptionally beautiful lives on a limited budget. They live large on less. Trust me there is a way. FINDING A WAY Recently I met an old friend and as we talked she told me that she was finally going to graduate with her Bachelor’s degree, a long sought after dream come true for her. It took her ten years to do her B.Ed degree. She is raising her two children and spreading the work and the financial burden over the years. She started with a good idea of what she wanted to do and found a way to make it work all around. Now she is going to do a Master’s degree and when her children are grown, she is going to start her teaching career. ‘Where there is a will there is always a way’. CAUTION Spreading ourselves too thinly can often slow our progress. It never feels good when we are 153 Jeanne Moreau Couzens not doing a good job of something because we are doing too much. We need to prioritize our goals, duties and responsibilities and take our time to do what we need to do well. It is difficult and unwise to push every aspect of our life to the max and still expect to excel. There is only so much we can focus our resources of time, money, energy and attention on. We need to always plan for overruns and delays and to have some surplus to meet unexpected demands on our limited resources. We need to be mature and reasonable when we begin implementing change. It’s best to grow into our greatness slowly, giving ourselves the time to do what we need to do everyday. We need to give ourselves the time and space to adjust and feel comfortable with the changes we desire. This way we can savor the journey and celebrate our victories. “We can’t expect to do everything all at once and do it well.” TAKE TIME TO CELEBRATE… TAKE TIME TO ENJOY YOUR LIFE There are some things we have to do today, 154 I Love My Work now. Some things we just cannot postpone, as there is no second chance. Some things we can’t defer until later when we have the time, the resources or the inclination. It’s now or never. For example we need to be there for our children as they are growing up or when someone is ailing and need our help. We need to take care of our health now, not later when we are worn down and sick. We need to keep building on our relationships with others. We need to keep growing as human beings and we need to celebrate every day of our great adventure in life. No matter how busy we are or what is preoccupying us, we have to make the time to look and create all the good things we want to experience and enjoy. We can’t defer living well, always putting things on the back burner, waiting to have the time, money, or whatever it is that keeps holding us back. Today, no matter what is going on in our hectic lives we need to seize the moment and create beautiful memories with our growing or (grown) children, our grandchildren, our aging 155 Jeanne Moreau Couzens parents, our better half and last but not least ourselves. Only we can make time for ourselves, for our dreams and all that we love in life. “We need to glean the good from our past, make sense of our todays and create a magnificent vision for our tomorrows.” Often we need to take the time to do the dance of joy and gratitude. “Recycle your dreams, waste not the tailings of your days, find a way to create a new master piece of art from the bits and pieces of your life. There is goodness in everything. Celebrate!” LIGHTEN UP BUTTERCUP Too often we work with our heads down missing so much fun and all the amazing happy things that are going on around us. We have no time for play, for laughter or for being light- hearted. Certainly no time for frivolous things like fun. We have a hard time taking time off from our work just to relax and to enjoy ourselves. I hate to admit this but I too am often guilty of being stretched out thinly and it is not good at all. But I am getting better. We need to make time for fun and laughter and 156 I Love My Work to try to enjoy the sweet song and dance of life. We need to make a little piece of paradise for ourselves and others, especially during a chaotic time. We need to create as many joyful and exciting experiences as we can imagine. We need to lighten up buttercup. Take it easy and just savor all the delicious little moments. “Let’s not allow ourselves to get too cynical and sober about life. Happiness should be one of the main events of our lives.” ‘‘DESIRE IS YOUR UNLIMITED POTENTIAL SEEKING EXPRESSION’’ – James Arthur Ray Today I had a lively conversation with one of my favorite clients. We talked freely about our dreams and passions and how we can move forward and what choices we need to make in this difficult recession we are finding ourselves in. He had planned to retire in one years’ time but due to a downturn in our economy he is not sure whether to take a retirement package or not. He is not alone as many of the boomers who have retired are not as rich as they had 157 Jeanne Moreau Couzens thought they were because of the erosion of their hard-earned assets. Both stocks and real estate investments have taken huge roll backs and for some of us who thought we had a cushy nest egg, well we’re finding it is not as cushy nor as secure as we had anticipated. And even those of us who have secured some measure of financial freedom, we have to be cautious that we stay in a financial position to help ourselves and our children in the event of losing our jobs and earnings. As my client said, he is ‘not about to stand by and see his kids lose their home’. Of course we will all try our best to help out where we can or perhaps our kids will need to help us out. This is life, always full of surprises, fortunately we always find some wiggle room to make it work out. HELPING OURSELVES FIRST Yet we need to help ourselves too. Like we are told every time we board a plane, we need to put on our air masks first before we can help others. In other words we need to keep moving 158 I Love My Work our own dreams and passions. Time is quickly running out for us boomers to realize our dreams and desires. Yes we have had the pleasure of realizing many of our dreams such as graduating, buying our first homes and eventually paying off our mortgages, buying our first cars and raising our family. Still we have big and small personal dreams and desires that we want to enjoy. I call these ‘our freedom dreams.’ For most of us boomers the time has come to pursue the lifestyle of our dreams and we all deserve it. Yes! DEALING WITH DELAYS Most of us of all ages have worked so hard to get to where we are today. We have scrimped and saved and we used our precious private time to spend with our family building great relationships. Many many times over we have painfully re-invented ourselves and our lives, giving our best and often leaving little for ourselves. Changes have been a constant for us and few of us have had the luxury of doing our own 159 Jeanne Moreau Couzens thing. Over the course of our careers we have survived several other recessions and now we are facing yet another new twist on our life’s path. It’s not like we know from experience how to handle recessions as each downturn always involves a whole a new set of changes and challenges. One thing for certain is it sure has kept us on our toes. We are survivors. Like one business man said, “it’s the dance of life, five steps forward and three steps back.” Wonders never cease. “The good news is that this is just a delay and life will go on again when our global economy sorts itself out.” OUR FUTURE As I talk with many people of all ages and backgrounds, I find some people are very distraught and discouraged about their prospects for the future. They are not sure they have the energy or the desire to ride through another storm and build up again. They are not sure if they can even survive the ravages of the storms of this recession. 160 I Love My Work No one knows how deep and wide the destruction will be. Sounds like hurricane season. EXCEPT OUR LIVES ARE NOT AT STAKE. Our problems today are money problems and we must always remember that, and money problems are something that can always be fixed. Now I know how important money is to live but we can always make up the money we’ve lost. We need to try to keep a perspective on things. Definitely it is hard to be without work, to lose our job and home, and to not have the money to buy the things we need. Yes, it is very tough on everyone, but we must do our best to thrive in these difficult times. Look for ways to mark these hard times for something good, knowing no matter what country we live in, we are all in this together. Above all we must always remember ‘THIS TOO WILL PASS, there is an end to hard times.’ Yeah!!! MARKING OUR TIME I try to offer hope to everyone but I too am 161 Jeanne Moreau Couzens sailing in the same ship, and these times are very rough and tough, but I am determined that I will not quit and I encourage you not to quit on yourself either. I want to make the best of these hard times. I know we will make it through someway, somehow. We sure don’t want to sit on our hands and fret. Life is just too short and precious to waste any of it. There are still so many good opportunities for all of us. Still so many amazing things to see and do. We are still the same wonderful people, with all our gifts and talents and experiences and there are still so many good and exciting things for us to do. We are alive, we will survive and even thrive. So let’s keep our dreams and desires as real and as strong as ever. “You are what your deep, driving desire is. As your desire is, so is your will. As your will is, so is your deed. As your deed is, so is your destiny.” – Hindu Spiritual Scriptures PLANTING OUR VICTORY GARDEN Let’s plant our garden of hope, let’s take a neglected and rough piece of ground and 162 I Love My Work plant our seed dreams and enjoy the fruits of our labor. Let’s cook up feasts and enjoy celebration dinners with those we love, let’s paint art just for the fun of it, let’s write the book we’ve always wanted to write, let’s go back and finish that degree we so want. Let’s plan our new life’s journey and think seriously this time about the work we would love to do. Let’s look for every way we can to make a difficult time not wasted time, but a time we can look back and say: Oh My! I am SO happy I did this! “See this as a sabbatical.” OPPORTUNITY FOR CHANGE Sometimes when things are uncertain and up in the air, it’s the perfect time to take matters in hand and make our own dreams and desires come true. We have to create our own opportunities and good fortune. We simply can’t wait for everything to work out for us. We have to make the most of things as they are and make the best of the situations we find ourselves in. Somewhere, somehow we have to make a start 163 Jeanne Moreau Couzens and keep going until we cross the finish line. Being without work can be an excellent starting point, in that we can plan to move more into the life and work dreams we desire. “What have we got to lose?” LESS TO LOSE The good thing about being without work is that we have less to lose. We are not quitting or leaving something, and because we have less to lose it gives us an open road to find our path. The risks go way down. It’s a blank page for us to write our own history. Being without committed work frees us up to try something new. What have we got to lose? This is our time to shine. I have a good neighbor and friend who when her husband lost his job as an engineer, they packed up their family and went and lived on an island. I know it was a great life for them. They both found whatever work they needed to get by and everyone loved their life. 164 I Love My Work LIVING LONGER Recently over dinner our son’s asked us if we were affected by the recession and we sighed and said “yes, it affects everyone. Both our sons know that I had planned to go back and study and write more books in the near future and so to sugar coat things our oldest son said: “well mom, you know that the sixties today are the new fifties.” I LOVE THAT! I’ll buy that. I may need some Botox and some other little help to get me to retirement. But as I said to my husband and business partner “Oh well, we’ll see more people in their seventies and eighties wearing bikinis on the beaches and driving their convertibles with the music blaring. We’ll all be living our deferred dreams. Our generation has always been unique. We’ve been known as characters, earthy, creative, resourceful and always chasing our dreams. Why should we change now? We’ll just have to live longer to realize all our dreams and goals. Truly we will live a better life if we can stretch our dreams into our nineties and beyond. “Why not?” 165 Jeanne Moreau Couzens MARK THIS TIME AS A SPECIAL TIME TO DO SOMETHING WONDERFUL AND POSITIVE IN YOUR GOOD LIFE. Don’t get discouraged and down in the dumps about this difficult life experience we are all facing during this global recession. Know that things will improve and the sun will come out again. If you are a junior looking for your first job, don’t let all this negative talk keep you from enthusiastically looking for work. Please know that there is still plenty of good work to be found and this is true for all of us looking for work. “Abundance abides” FINDING OUR INNER ENERGY AND STRENGTH It is amazing how energy comes when we need it. Ideas flow and we just move and do what we have to do. Things get done. We move on and metamorph into something else. We change and continue growing. 166 I Love My Work One of the worst things we can do to our mind, body and spirit is to sit and fret. This is fighting ourselves and unfortunately we usually end up the losers. I know some talented people who have never got going again once they were laid off or let go unceremoniously. Whatever the reasons were, they stopped dead in their tracks and keep reliving their last job and how disappointed they are that they no longer do “what they loved.” I hear often “If only, it’s too late now, not much that I can do about it, I’ll never get a job like that again, it’s so unfair, there’s nothing I can do now, I’m ruined.” GARBAGE. No matter who we are there is someone, somewhere who can surely use our skills. Never get into a cycle of negative thinking. It is a downward spiral which will take us nowhere. BEING OUR OWN ADVOCATES I agree whole heartedly that life is unfair at times, people ride us sometimes, situations can be challenging and close to impossible, and we have our backs against the wall more often then 167 Jeanne Moreau Couzens we like, but that is no excuse to give up and treat ourselves badly. We have to have some fight in us, we have to believe in ourselves, we have to be our own advocates and we have to find our own good inner energy and strength. We have to be our own best friends and look for ways to help ourselves. We have to live the lives we so desire and love. We have to have a vision for our own future and make our way step by step in the direction we want to go. We just need to be self-motivated and enthusiastic about our plans. And if we can’t muster the enthusiasm, we simply have to put one foot in front of the other and keep going! THERE IS NO LOOKING BACK. No one or nothing can stand in the way of our dream, unless we allow this. We are the ones who create our dreams and give them meaning. Dreams are our guiding stars and we find our way when we patiently focus our energy and strength in the direction we want our life and work to go. 168 I Love My Work Let’s not worry about feeling enthusiastic and energetic and certain we will succeed before we start. Let’s just do it and trust that the rest will fall into place, which it does. When we feel we have lost everything and our spirit is at a low ebb, let’s just hold on to even a speck of faith and keep moving in the direction of our dreams. “Look up!” IT’S NOT EASY Being without work is sure not easy. In fact it is very tough. When we are laid off, fired, or job hunting for whatever reason, our whole system is thrown into trying to regain our balance and direction. We may find ourselves at home with too much time on our hands. We are bored and lonely and short of cash, we’ve lost our routines, our social connections and often some of our self-esteem. Interestingly this is often a time when our rivals will take cheap shots at us. They like to rub our noses in the fact that we no longer have our ‘big deal’ job. It hurts our already 169 Jeanne Moreau Couzens beaten up ego – but let’s remind ourselves not to step into this petty fray of egos. Let’s take the high way and never let them see us sweat. Let’s remind ourselves that we will find our way and it will be very, very good. When our detractors say hurting things, let’s not allow their cruel words to harden our spirits, instead let’s harden our resolve to do extremely well. Let’s remember: “We are not victims but victors” – Jack Canfield CREATING OUR VISION FOR TOMORROW No matter where we are coming from or what direction we hope to go in, truly there are so many fabulous choices for us to consider. Only we can make the ultimate decision of what will work best for us. Presently I have several individuals who are trying hard to decide what they want to do for work and with their lives. One person is in her twenties, one in her forties and two males in their fifties. All have different backgrounds and needs, but the one barrier they all need to 170 I Love My Work overcome is learning to trust their instincts to start moving confidently towards building their vision of how they want to live their lives. “They have to trust in themselves and give themselves permission to do what they love.” IT CAN BE CONFUSING I believe there is something like six thousand possible careers options listed, so there is definitely plenty to choose from. I have not found a lack of choices to be the problem, quite the opposite, it is like being in the candy store and not knowing what to choose. I cannot overstate the wisdom of doing what you love to do and are passionate about. This is where we start and finish. Perhaps like myself and many others you love so many things that you can’t decide. Well mix and match the three things you like best and are good at. Distill your list of things you love down to the very essence of who you are and what you can become. Write down the vision you have for your future. What is yours to do before you leave 171 Jeanne Moreau Couzens this world? Take your time and consider all your choices and options carefully. What do you love to do. What can you do? “Follow your heart.” “Ask yourself what would you do if you knew you would succeed?” TEST DRIVE YOUR DREAMS Start small, take your time and weave in what you love while doing your day job. Don’t go “all or nothing.” Keep your eyes and heart on your vision. Keep working on it inch by inch. Find the time to work your dream every day if possible. Do one little thing even if it is just thinking about your vision for tomorrow. Imagine living your dream. Meditate on it and make your dream as real as possible. We don’t want to just fantasize, we want to consider the realities of committing to this opportunity for change that we are considering. Hold that dream close to your heart and see if it gives you that warm and fuzzy feeling. Go with your instincts. “Dare to fly.” 172 I Love My Work MODES OF EMPLOYMENT Along with choosing our one passionate dream we need to consider our mode of employment. Are we going to work for a large corporation, a small company or for ourselves? Are we going to be an employee, a self-employed contractor for another company, a temporary worker or our own limited company? Does our dream fit best working as an employee of a company or do we have an entrepreneurial spirit and believe that we can best realize our dream working for ourselves. Do we have the resources to work for ourselves, meaning are we willing to wear many hats and feel that we can take the heat when the pressure is on? I have found that not everyone is cut out to be an entrepreneur managing their own work life and finances but certainly being our own boss has it’s own perks and rewards. “Try before you buy.” 173 Jeanne Moreau Couzens EMPLOYEE OR EMPLOYER Both working in our own business or working as an employee have huge benefits and we have to decide for ourselves what is the best fit for us. We need to do our homework and consider everything that is involved in our work mode choices. We can talk to other entrepreneurs and do our research on line as to what is involved when we set up our own company. I would never rush setting up a company without being absolutely sure I was willing to work at it until I succeed. Owning our own company can mean lean years and hard work to get going and to stay going. It can be feast or fast and we need to continually find work to keep us going. Certainly it can be done and it is very rewarding, if it is our ‘cup of tea’. “Never rush a big decision” PREPARING TO START WORK. “My definition of finding work is like learning how to walk and chew gum at the same time.” 174 I Love My Work If we choose to work as an employee we will need to prepare ourselves differently than if we are going to be self-employed. First of all we will need to decide what we want to do and secondly we will need to prepare ourselves for our job search. We start of course with a great resume that will put our best foot forward. We also need to look at all the industries and companies that are a perfect match for our interests, skills and talents. We need to research what these companies are all about, their corporate culture and determine whether they are a good match for us and if so understand how we can add value to them. Being prepared makes us better informed and over all makes us feel more confident. When I prepare my job seekers to go for an interview, I try to build their confidence by telling them about the company they will be meeting with. It is important to have as much background information as we can about our prospective employer. It is also important to know the position we are interviewing for and most importantly how we match up with the 175 Jeanne Moreau Couzens profile, needs and expectations of the employer. “let’s do our home work” OUR RESUME Over the years I have interviewed many candidates looking for work and the ones I find who are not job ready are the ones who come unprepared. I always ask job seekers to bring with them a copy of their resume for me to use in the interview and most often I receive good professional resumes. The disappointing ones are when people looking for work hand me a crumpled and messy resume which is poorly written and hard to follow. This is not a good thing. So suffice to say we need a great resume to start with. A great resume is one that is crisp and fresh on white paper without art or graphics on it. I know most of us want to be creative individuals with our own unique flair, but honestly this makes resumes more difficult to read for the interviewer. A resume should to be no more than two to three pages in length and to the point. It is very important that they are up to date with courses, 176 I Love My Work affiliations, education and work experience. Also always put in the dates in chronological order for your work history, courses and educational degrees and diplomas. This is very important as it helps the interviewer to know how current your experience and education is. OUR COVER LETTER A cover letter is a nice touch as it highlights our skills and work history. In a cover letter we can be more personal and point out the name of who referred us to the job opening. Always it should be professional and well written. Watch out for errors and sloppy writing as all jobs require us to pay attention to detail. If you have problems writing your own resume and cover letter, for goodness sake get help. Find someone you can trust to write a good resume and cover letter for you, whether it be a friend or a paid service. It is worth the investment as a resume and cover letter is going to make a first and often lasting impression and so will the interview. 177 Jeanne Moreau Couzens HOW WE PRESENT OURSELVES The manner in which we conduct and present ourselves in an interview is what will seal the deal. For starters find out as much as you can about the position and the company you are hoping to work for. Learn about the industry they’re in and research the latest trends, cycles, challenges and their future potential. I caution that you make sure you get your information from a reliable source and try to focus only on the positives of the company. Prepare yourself for any questions they may ask. Do a sheet of what their needs are and how you can fill those needs. Consider objectively any short comings you may have and prepare how you will respond to their concerns. This will make you feel more confident but more importantly it will show your prospective employer that your are really interested and motivated to work with their organization. “Be prepared” 178 I Love My Work KNOW YOUR OWN RESUME Also review your resume well so you know your own history. Know the length of time and dates you spent at previous work positions, volunteer work and your education. Have your references and contact information ready. Know in advance when you are able to start work, how long you plan to stay with the company and what remuneration you are expecting. Be quick, decisive and well-informed about your resume and your past experience and know what your work expectations are. Do not however discuss salary and benefits until the employer has indicated what they are willing to pay for the position. If the interviewer asks you what you are expecting for a salary rate, try to go win-win by asking what is being offered. Tread carefully and don’t make it seem like money is your only motivation. Above all be friendly, professional, positive, accommodating and flexible, showing your eagerness to make it work with your future employer. “ Start off on a positive note” 179 Jeanne Moreau Couzens GOING FOR AN INTERVIEW Before you go to an interview, try to get information about the person or persons you will be interviewing with and what you can expect the meeting to be like. Consider your answers to possible questions the client will be asking. Write down the company name, interviewers’ name, address and the time and date so you can be sure to make it to the right appointment. Write down any questions you want answers to about the nature of the work you will be doing and the work environment you will be working in. Make sure if you do get hired to write down the start date, the money you will be paid (including benefits), the work mode or status, whether it will be full-time or part-time, the expected length of the work term and the work schedules. Ask about keys or access cards you will need to enter your work and who you will be reporting to. Also find out what to wear so it will meet with the company dress code and will make you feel more comfortable working. 180 I Love My Work This is all vital information which we need to know. It will help us in the long run. When we have the good fortune of having an interview for work, let’s do our best to be prepared, let’s dress appropriately and present our very best self. The same is true when we show up for work everyday. “let’s give it our best” DOING MOCK INTERVIEWS As I said before always do your homework and be well prepared for the interview. Practice with a friend or family member doing a mock interview. Seriously, this will help. Let them quiz you on the dates and information straight from your resume. It is not a good thing to tell the interviewer “it’s all on my resume” when asked questions about work experiences and dates. The interviewer can see it on your resume, but they are wanting to involve you in a conversation just to get to know you better. Only you can make your past work experience real and show your interests in bringing together what you are capable of doing with the needs 181 Jeanne Moreau Couzens of the new position you are applying for. GET INVOLVED. BE ENTHUSIASTIC. Let your employer know you are enthusiastic about the position and point out ways you can bring your skills, knowledge and experiences to add value to the new job. Don’t try to make it go your way by pointing out all the perks and things you need in a job in order to make it work for you. Don’t talk about all the things you haven’t liked about your previous jobs or employers. Don’t unload onto your interviewer all your hard luck stories in life, they are not psychiatrists. No whining is ever allowed in an interview and never use abusive or foul language. Always speak loud enough to be heard in a pleasant and positive but natural voice. Don’t concern yourself about having an accent, just maintain eye contact and listen carefully. Be polite and open to cooperating fully. “Be fully engaged” 182 I Love My Work HAVING GOOD MANNERS Always be polite and well mannered. Turn off all cell phones and any other distractions like watch alarms. Time manage properly so that you arrive early and prepared for your interviews. Do a little centering and relaxing if you have a moment before the interview. Breathe deeply to calm yourself and think positive thoughts and affirmations about how smoothly it will all go. Visualize your success. Try to enjoy the interview, remember to smile and don’t take yourself too seriously. Remember you can only do your best and that’s enough. “Be cheerful and friendly” KEEP YOUR COMPOSURE “Help yourself” If the interviewer asks you difficult or quirky questions, don’t question the interviewer or get thrown off. Employers want to see how you handle the unexpected and difficult situations that may arise on the job. When you are asked 183 Jeanne Moreau Couzens the “what if” questions, take a reasonable amount of time to consider your answer, then answer with your truth and confidence. Don’t ever worry what the interviewer may be thinking, just be your best self and be friendly, tactful and honest. Being sincere and cooperative will go a long way. Never be defensive when asked difficult questions and always be honest in you answers. “Your mannerisms, gestures, body movements, posture, tone of voice, and expressions communicate just as much as your words do” – .Job Seeker’s Handbook FIRST IMPRESSIONS First impressions are so important. I recently met a very accomplished and talented young lady. Her resume was glow in the dark good. She had exactly what I was looking for, but she arrived unprofessionally dressed for the position and she had a kind of “I just wanted to check this out” attitude. I am still not sure she is the right candidate for the position. I was disappointed in her casualness about it all. She has all the right experience but she needs to 184 I Love My Work be more professional to be a right fit for the leadership position I was offering. DRESSING FOR SUCCESS I can’t over emphasize the importance of dressing for success. I know that today blue jeans are the new dress pants, but not all our conservative corporate clients buy this. There is still a business casual dress code in the industry I staff to. I know dressing should not be an issue but it is. Shower, brush your teeth, do your hair and nails and dress your best in something that is appropriate and you are comfortable with. I have some ladies who wear short skirts and sexy tops that are more suitable for the evening scene. I have young men who come in wearing jaunty hats and undershirts. Although they look ‘cool and trendy’ this will never work for a corporate office. Unless you are applying for a position in the entertainment industry, it is best to dress neat, tidy and on the conservative side. “Make your clothes work for you” 185 Jeanne Moreau Couzens BUSINESS CASUAL Unless you are going for a professional position or work that is in the management level, you don’t need to wear a suit and tie. For men, wear dress pants and a shirt and for women a skirt or dress pants with a blouse or a pant-suit will work perfectly. Take off any outer-wear like coats, hats and gloves when you arrive at the interview. Women put your handbags on the floor by your chair or with your outer wear. Never sit through an interview with your coat on, it is unprofessional and you will over heat. Don’t wear any clothes that have wardrobe malfunctions like missing buttons, falling hems, or clothes that are out of season or too big or too small. We want to look our best and be so comfortable with what we wear. When we look good, we feel good. GOOD GROOMING Always wash your hair and look fresh. This shows energy, good health, vitality and eagerness. 186 I Love My Work It shows you are interested in making a good impression. Use your good judgement as to how you can present yourself at your best. Employers want to see how we look and how we conduct ourselves. What we look like and how we interact is very important. It reflects on us as a person and is a significant part of who we are. Not that looks are everything, certainly we need the experience to do the work but a vibrant and friendly personality as well as a great overall attitude will go the distance for us. “There is a perception that how we take care of ourselves is often the way we will look after other things in our life. “ DO THE BEST YOU CAN WITH WHAT YOU HAVE I am very aware that not everyone has a big budget to buy the clothes to fit the job we are after and this is all fine. However it is not overly expensive to have a basic good pair of dress pants and shirt or a shirt and skirt for women that we keep clean and pressed to wear for interviews. 187 Jeanne Moreau Couzens Giving our shoes a shine is a good idea too. The point is “do the best you can with what you have.” ” Just don’t work against yourself.” DEALING WITH REJECTION If you have gone for an interview and hear back that you didn’t get the job don’t be too hard on yourself. Take it easy, be grateful that you tried your best. It’s O.K. not to get a job. Don’t take it personally, as there can be many internal reasons why you didn’t get the job. Know there will be other opportunities that will come along. Try your very best not to let fear take over your life. Talk to people who love and support you. Do something fun that you really enjoy to reward yourself for having tried. Know that trying is half-way there and we will be successful at some point. Rebuild your self-confidence and self- esteem by reviewing your previous successes. Remember to be your own best advocate and to love yourself anyway. Please move on. Say NEXT. 188 I Love My Work SOMETIMES WE JUST NEED MORE PRACTICE Once we have gone to an interview we know better where we can improve. Maybe we need more experience, or maybe we need to better represent ourselves on paper and in person. Hindsight, think how you would have changed things? Let’s keep in mind that rejection and disappointments happen in life all the time. Everyone wins, loses and draws in the game of life, but let’s not let this make us quit. Let’s just keep on moving in the direction we want to go. We have to find our way back up from any big let downs. That’s life. “It’s not how many times we get let down that matters, it’s how many time we get up and going again.” We have to have bounce in life. Big Bounce. REMEMBER TO WRITE A LETTER OF THANKS TO YOUR INTERVIEWER. 189 Jeanne Moreau Couzens KNOW THAT YOU WILL FIND YOUR DREAM JOB Know that you will find your dream work, somewhere sometime. No one can keep our good from coming to us. We will succeed in finding work. Try to stay positive and engaged in life while you search for new work. Build your confidence by remembering all the times you have over come something difficult. Remember all the pleasant surprises you never expected that came into your life. Think of all the good things that have happened to you, all the achievements and progress you have made in spite of the challenges you had to overcome. Also think of all the good things that you have going for you right now in your life. Think of all the wonderful experiences you have enjoyed and know there are plenty more in the future. Look for every way to brush off disappointment and frustration. Walk, pray, meditate, read, do yoga, dance, talk it over with people you love, run, exercise, eat well, drink water, get plenty of rest, take a holiday and engage your mind and body doing all the things you love. 190 I Love My Work If your interview really doesn’t go well remember that we have to ignore much in life to accomplish our goals. “Don’t get thrown off by other’s poor opinion of you.” MOVE ON Don’t spend time tormenting yourself by going over your shortcomings or the rough times you have experienced in the past. When we are in the midst of one major life challenge, it is not the time to go over our whole life and find all the things we have messed up. This is overload on all our energy sources and to stir everything up will surely swamp us. We need to leave the past in the past. We need to move on. We need to let go of the pain. We need to release the people and the situations which have caused us so much heartache and grief. We truly need to forgive and forget. Let’s close one chapter on our life and no matter how young or old we are let’s begin a new and exciting dream. Don’t fall into the abyss of self-pity and loathing. Don’t become quiet and discouraged, 191 Jeanne Moreau Couzens fearful and full of dread, and don’t allow yourself to become a victim or bitter. Pick yourself up, be your own best friend, know your good news will come too and it truly will. Love yourself, enjoy life. Just Trust. Know your dream will come true. Do everything you can to love your life. Be thankful and live joyously while you wait. Have faith. Have hope and keep believing in your dream. “Take your mind off your problems by helping someone else.” “Don’t wallow in self-pity” DON’T SEE THIS CHALLENGE AS A PROBLEM Don’t see this challenge as a problem, it is truly an opportunity in disguise. Looking to create our special life journey and finding meaningful work is a happy and good thing and yes it is usually very challenging when we are trying to bring a positive change into our life. We have to work harder to bring about the birth of something and often we ride a roller coaster of emotions going from elation to despair. I know it is difficult to live with the constant 192 I Love My Work uncertainty as to what results our hard efforts will bring. Sometimes it may seem futile to keep working so hard to find our life/work dream when we have no guarantee what the return will be on the huge investment of our resources. But overall know that it is worth the effort to reach high and to give everything our best. Challenges are always opportunities for positive change so let’s go for it. Enjoy. Have Fun! KNOCKING DOWN BARRIERS Sometimes when we just don’t seem to be making progress in our job search in spite of our best efforts, we need to step back and do an assessment of how we feel we can improve. We need to look at all the possible ways we can present ourselves better. Ask people whom we trust to give us positive feed back. Sometimes it is just as simple as changing one bad habit or mannerism that is putting off the employers. Yesterday I interviewed a beautiful and talented lady who has excellent experience but 193 Jeanne Moreau Couzens unfortunately has not connected with work for almost a year. She is neat, well mannered, organized and professional in demeanor. I wanted to help her, but truly she needs a little coaching up before I would feel comfortable placing her with our clients. The barrier she is facing has to do with her own attitudes. She openly complains about employers being losers for not hiring her when she has such good skills. In her frustration she wants to push back and put them in their place. I know she is just discouraged and trying to speak her truth, but as I explained to her, clients too have their stresses and problems and they are wanting someone with the skills they need but with no baggage. Employers are wanting happy campers who will get down to work without too much drama. They’re wanting to manage the work flow without having to be crisis workers. If we are facing difficulties connecting with work, let’s look at all the possible barriers we may be putting up in our way and let’s find ways to remove all obstacles. ‘Give yourself a break.” 194 I Love My Work BE A HAPPY FACE After every downturn comes an upturn. No matter what the outcome of the challenges we face, we need to stay positive and continue looking for our good. Let’s not sour on life and give up. If we don’t get the job we want, there will be other great work opportunities that are waiting for us and this is the absolute truth. I have seen so many people devastated and angry when they lost the job interview, their job or a contract they were hoping to get. Yet today they are living their dreams and are grateful they didn’t get what they hoped for at the time. It was not right for them and although at the time they were very disappointed, fortunately they didn’t give up, they kept looking and eventually they found what they were looking for. So a word of caution, watch closely what you wish for. Keep on being a happy camper and keep looking, keep asking, keep seeking and knocking until the door opens to your heart’s desire. Trust that it is out there waiting for you to claim. Give 195 Jeanne Moreau Couzens thanks when you get your heart’s desire. “It is amazing how often we find our way in, not through the front door, but through side doors.” STAY HAPPY AND ENGAGED IN LIFE Too often when we face disappointment, we disconnect with life and others. We lose our sparkle. We trudge through our days like we are weighed down by every worry in the world. We lose our enthusiasm for life in general and we start second guessing ourselves. Our selfconfidence and motivation slides. We think we are so unlucky and feel that everything is falling apart. This is normal, but let’s not stay in this mode for too long. Remember it’s like having the flu, the sooner we get over it the better. Let’s not be so unhappy. Hey let’s get cheerful and bouncy again, find something good to be happy about. Let’s shed every discouragement, regret and frustration. Strive to live lighter and stay engaged in life. Often when we go through really tough times, we need to treat ourselves to the things we enjoy. Let’s fill our days doing things that inspire us and will help put us back 196 I Love My Work into our own good life. Surviving a major set back, can certainly knock the wind out of our sails, but we need to regain our balance, lick our wounds and heal our heart and soul. Over time we will find our burning passion and dreams again and our spirit will rise. So let’s shake off the heavy thoughts, feelings and moods, take our minds off of our problems and open our hearts to the sweet goodness and blessings coming our way. A sure way to feel good about ourselves and life is to count our blessings. I do this often and it fills me with gratitude and renewed hope. “Keep on going in the direction of your goodness” STAY CONNECTED If you have been let go, fired or laid off from your work, know that you will go through some tough times coping with the changes and challenges but this is a time when you have to keep going. Dig deep into your inner resources and be your own best friend. This is not a time to beat yourself up! This is 197 Jeanne Moreau Couzens a time to be very good to yourself. Find a friend who will support you by listening to you and is willing to help you come up with a plan of action. Keep your mind, heart, body and spirit sweet, positive and full of hope. Stay connected with others. Keep your routines going, keep doing fun things, stay in the land of the living. Don’t become a recluse, challenge yourself everyday to get out with others, to exercise, go to the library and generally to stay in touch with all of life. Seek wholesome healing. “Keep loving, keep giving, keep living.” REMEMBER THE SUN IS STILL SHINING Know that even though you are going through a dark time, the sun is still shining. Growing always takes effort and growing through difficulties is even a bigger challenge. But we need to stay the course, we need to keep moving, we need to keep believing there will be a light at the end of it all. We need to know that 198 I Love My Work our good is awaiting us and above all, we need patience. Faith and Patience is what will save our day. Don’t give up. Give yourself time to find your work, to fulfill your dream, to create the life you love and desire. Trust that it will come. Look Up! MANAGING OUR MOODS When we find ourselves facing a challenge, our first reaction is to stress and moan about it and this is normal and very healthy as it dissipates the toxic nervous energy from settling in our bodies. To cry and to complain about our disappointments and challenges is part of the healing process because we are venting toxic emotions of pain, we are flushing out negative energy from our mind, body, heart and spirit. It is like lancing infected wounds to flush the poison and to release the pressure and pain. We need to clean out the garbage and toxins we all collect over time. When we feel sad, sorry for ourselves, anxious, discouraged, frustrated, depressed, put down, fearful, 199 Jeanne Moreau Couzens confused, disappointed, exhausted, burned-out and angry it is best to share our grievances with someone we trust. To suck it up and lock up our emotional pain inside of us will create lowgrade depression and lower our immunity against infections and diseases. Collecting and storing toxic and negative emotions one drop at a time will fill us to overflowing with pollution if we don’t sort through the garbage and dump these toxins daily. “Take time to decompress and unwind” HEALING It is always best to deal with our painful emotions by releasing this negative energy from our systems by talking it out, crying, walking, praying, dancing, singing, meditating, helping others, exercising, sleeping, resting, dreaming, dancing, singing, writing in our journal... Constantly we must “catch and release” meaning catch all the goodness which comes into our life and releasing all the toxic garbage we collect everyday. We must always be sleuthing to find positive ways we can make 200 I Love My Work our relationships work and to create our good, happy and inspired life. “Of course, habitual complaining is every bit as unhealthy as holding everything in.” – Sue Patton Thoele One word of caution here is not to let ourselves be consumed by our challenges and discontentment. We need to manage our moods or they will manage us. We need to focus on what is working in our lives and to keep a positive perspective. We need to know that life is still good even if our life is difficult. “I will focus on what I have and not what I don’t have. I will not be consumed by my challenges. I will stay in faith, focus on the good and keep the right perspective. I will remain open for something bigger and better.” – Love your Life by Victoria Osteen LOOKING AT THE BIG PICTURE Often in our work we meet people who have been fired or handled badly in someway. They are angry and in pain and feel they have been treated unfairly. Sometimes the answer is yes they were and sometimes they didn’t put in their best effort. The point is don’t go over the pain and the agony of the situation until you exhaust. 201 Jeanne Moreau Couzens Certainly everyone deserves to be listened to and sharing our pain is part of the healing process but we need to do damage control by releasing all the guilt, shame, anger and pain we have suffered and to start building our good life dream again. We have to move on, we have to force ourselves to get over it and to start something going again. We have to believe that we will get over this rough time and the sooner we start the healing process, the better off we will be. People are like palm trees: “We have a bounce back on the inside of us.” - Joel Osteen Daily let’s take breaks from our pain, anxiety and sadness. OVERCOMING SET BACKS When we face really, really tough breaks, we cannot just curl up and die. We must keep in mind that we will always get a second chance. Failure is only an opportunity to learn how to do things better next time. Everyone alive has experienced the sting of failure, it is just a natural part of life. Failure is not really failure 202 I Love My Work unless we leave it at that. Failure in reality is just a vital part of the learning process. One of the many steps to our goal. Not making our target only means that we have more work to do to be successful. Life is 99% understanding the big picture and seeing things for what they truly are. In life we only need to compete and please ourselves. Too often we dance to the tune of other people, never hearing our own inner harmony and very often many of us give up far too easily because we weren’t doing our own thing anyway. Unfortunately too often we want to excel at everything and now. We don’t want to run into any turbulence. We want a smooth ride, the whole way paved for us and this thinking sets us up for big disappointment. “If you ‘re not living the life you want, keep working on it” HIGH EXPECTATIONS Oh my! How unrealistically high many of us set our standards and expectations. We want to be perfect and we want too much and we want it all now. (Me too) 203 Jeanne Moreau Couzens I hope I don’t confuse you when I encourage you to set high goals and dreams to reach for. I believe we enjoy the thrill of a big dream, but as we work to make our dreams come true we need to have patience and lower our expectations of what we can expect to accomplish with all else we have going on in our equally big life. We need to temper our dreams with our realities. Move our dreams in increments. Enjoy our life at every stage and appreciate and give thanks for what we have accomplished. “Give yourself a break.” EASE UP Let’s stop being so hard on ourselves and others, let’s ease up a little. We need to know that we have what it takes to overcome the difficulties that we face. We need to believe that we will make it to our goals with time and effort. It’s not what happens to us, it is what we do with it. Very often a set back is a great set up for something so much better than we could have 204 I Love My Work ever imagined. It’s time to let go of the pain and to seek the good that is trying to make it’s way into our life. Everything and I mean everything can be used constructively to build our beautiful life and work dream. Let’s not let the speed bumps, the detours and the tough times in life stop us in our tracks. Let’s look for every way to get around the obstacles and barriers we come up against. Let’s pick up the bits and pieces and start building up again. We’ll use everything good, bad or otherwise to build our dream. The most interesting and courageous people are not those whose lives have been easy, but those who have come through very difficult times and have survived and thrived. Affirm daily that “we can and will do it.” HURRAH!” IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO START OVER AGAIN I am just a hair shy of being sixty years young. I don’t mind telling my age because I still have a lot of life and work dreams I am eager to build and enjoy. Fortunately I have great health 205 Jeanne Moreau Couzens and vitality so age is just not an issue for me, it’s just a number. I feel I still have the time and the creative energy to keep building my good dreams and look forward to doing so. My dreams and goals get me up in the morning frisky and eager for the day. I don’t worry about having to retire from work at any age or being overlooked for someone younger because I know there is always plenty of opportunities for people of all ages. My clients are of every age, from twenty years old to sixty and beyond and I see that it is their attitudes and skills that keep them employed. We are never too young or too old to start living our life and work dreams. Only we can erect the barriers and limitations about what we believe we can or cannot do. True there are some people who are ageist, but let’s pay no mind to their short sightedness. It only goes to show how limited their thinking is. With confidence let’s go on doing our thing. “What can and can’t we change?” 206 I Love My Work YOU ARE YOUR OWN BOSS Best of all I truly believe that the power to generate our good is within us, not out there. We are the only ones who can limit our dreams. No one else has that power. We have the power to conceive our dreams, plant and nurture them and enjoy living our dreams. This is a big world we live in and it is filled with every kind of wonderful and incredible opportunities. There are so many needs we can fill with our special talents. Truly there is never a lack of work, just a lack of awareness and motivation. We are the only ones who can find the right work opportunities for ourselves. Always remember you are your own boss whether you work for yourself or someone else. “Whatever your work, hold your head high” 207 Jeanne Moreau Couzens WORKING FOR MYSELF. I feel confident that my life and work dreams can take me until the end of my days and that gives me the freedom to work at my own pace. I don’t have to get it all done before forty, fifty, sixty... If the economic times are slow, it just means that I will need to be creative and resourceful and that my goals may take a little longer. This is the beauty of being selfemployed and going for the long haul. “Whatever work we do, let’s put our heart into it” WE ARE IN OUR RIGHT PLACE If we find ourselves stressing about being 35 years old, unemployed and still not where we thought we would be, let’s chill out and get real. We have our whole life ahead of us, certainly we have no time to waste, but hey our life is moving along as it should. We are doing our best and everything is part of the journey we are on. Let’s be grateful that we truly are in the right place and desiring to move along. If we are frustrated with where we are then we 208 I Love My Work can always change things up. We must never compare ourselves with others, as we all have different learning curves, dreams and life experiences. We must understand that we are in our right place and our right time. Where we are is where we should be. So let’s relax and know that it is never too late to do what we still want to do, no matter what age we are. Whining about our age is only counterproductive and doing negative self talk is so self-abusive, so let’s cut it out. I have young people in their twenties and in their fifties telling me it is too late for them to go back and study and this is pure nonsense. It’s astounding what negatives we can talk ourselves into believing. Let’s forget about thinking we are too young or too old and let’s just find ways to get the job done. Let’s ask ourselves every day “What can I do today to move my dream?” And then let’s get doing it. NO TIME TO WASTE Looking for work in a down market can certainly 209 Jeanne Moreau Couzens bring it’s own challenges and road blocks. Recessions in my experience have always created lay offs, hardships of every kind, uncertainty and general economic crisis, just to name a few of the difficulties. But these difficult and uncertain times should not make us retreat, in fact more than ever we need to find some project, some deferred dream or even a new dream that we can work on. We need to keep going, keep growing, stay inspired and keep making good things happen. “Desire and yearning is our inner wisdom guiding us to our good” TIME TO RENEW AND REFOCUS This downturn does not mean dead time nor time to veg and waste away. In fact recessions are a perfect time to think about going back to study, or doing some wonderful project we never had the time to do before. We can prepare ourselves by cleaning up and catching up in areas we got behind in so we are ready to hit the ground running when the work starts rolling again, as it always does. All of us need to make good use of this slow 210 I Love My Work and quiet time, by acquiring new skills, great experiences, and renewing our creative energies and resources. The slow times in a recession just gives us sabbatical time to choose how we will grow and add value to our own lives and others. It gives us a break to catch our breath and to re-focus. It is a perfect opportunity to use our precious resources in creative and positive ways which will enrich our life and the life of others. Waiting it out very often means losing out. We have to see our work as a huge chunk of our life span and who among us has any time or goodness to throw away. We all have a big life waiting for us to enjoy. So let’s get on with this wonderful adventure. “Let’s water our dry and parched places” DREAMING BIG DREAMS It is so healthy to dream big dreams. This fills us with anticipation and gives us vital energy. Stop dreaming and you start dying by the inches. Anyone who has worked their way to fulfilling a 211 Jeanne Moreau Couzens goal or a dream knows first hand the deep sense of achievement and feeling great about life one experiences. It is an exhilarating feeling which propels us to our next dreams and goals. “If we are not living, then we are dying.” LIVING OUR DREAMS Both Gary and I have moved along in living our dreams. For many years we have made up lists of dreams we would like to realize and then we work at them for however long it takes. Sometimes we talk about things for ten years or more before they come to be. But diligently we continue working inch by inch to make what we want to see in our lives come true. Fortunately we are both on the same page and if we agree whole-heartedly on one thing, then we go for it. It is then just a matter of time and working out the details before we move our mountains. GRATITUDE Always we are so grateful for having so many 212 I Love My Work of our dreams come true. This is why I can passionately write a life and work book based on setting our minds and energy on working and achieving our fabulous dreams. “It’s been our experience that dreams usually turn out so much better than we could have imagined or planned for.” It is beyond wonderful, the feeling of reaching our goals is beyond words. BEYOND WONDERFUL It is also a delightful experience when others we know and love enjoy having their dreams come true. It blesses us too in knowing that there is plenty of good to go around. We share in their joy and it makes our day. Let us never be jealous of others good fortune. Let us always celebrate their victories with them. Life just gets bigger and better. DREAM ZAPPERS Sometimes when we dream big dreams we run into turbulence with those we know and love. Unfortunately not everyone likes to see people 213 Jeanne Moreau Couzens moving on with their lives. One reality we want to be aware of is that when we are changing and growing into our greatness, we will come across some of the dream zappers and naysayers in life. Unfortunately these jealous people do not enjoy seeing us enthused and inspired by setting goals and working towards them. These are the people who will make fun of our ‘big ideas.’ They will snicker and roll their eyes when we share how excited we are about some future plan. The bigger our dream the more these distractors will ridicule us. It is sad because although we love these good people, we have to stop sharing our dreams and hopes with them. Who likes to be put down for trying to do something good and meaningful with their life? If this starts to happen, take comfort in knowing that you are not alone. Try not to argue with them or talk until you are blue in the face trying to make them see what you are wanting to do. Remember these good people are truly happy for you, they just don’t understand what you 214 I Love My Work are up to and are afraid of being left behind. We know their behavior is counter-productive but let’s not let their doubts and negative comments slow us down. For sure their negativity hurts but let’s just keep going. FIND A DREAM PARTNER, someone who may not be personally involved in your journey but who loves you unconditionally and will support and cheer you on. Our dream partners are positive people who will whole-heartedly celebrate our victories and successes with us and truly this will double our pleasure. Hurrah! “Let’s always insulate ourself from people who take pleasure in putting us down. This is their way of trying to build themselves up.” Smile, wish them well and move on. DON’T LET PEOPLE LABEL YOU. Don’t let others label you, unless of course it’s good label. How often do we hear people say nasty things about others that sticks a label on them. John is a whiner, Lisa is a princess, Jeanne is stubborn and so on. 215 Jeanne Moreau Couzens I AM STRONG-WILLED When I was a child my good mother always told me that I was stubborn and I know I was. My mother was strong, independent and resourceful. I looked more like my father and his side of the family and mom always said dad’s family were very stubborn people. In my opinion they had to be to have survived the wars, death and famines they had lived through in Europe. Even though I loved my mother and my European family, I never liked being called ‘STUBBORN’, it was like throwing down the gauntlet for me. However I do want to balance things out by saying that my mother often told me that I was lucky, smart, and feminine. Now THAT I believed without argument. WISDOM THAT COMES WITH EXPERIENCE Later in life when I was in my thirties and my mother was in her mid-fifties, she came for Thanksgiving to visit me after I had given birth 216 I Love My Work to our youngest son Jonah. One day as I was feeding our newborn and chatting with her she said to me, “you know I always said you were stubborn but now I see why you needed to be stubborn. I don’t know how you could get through these tough times without being at least a little bit stubborn.” Jonah, our youngest son was born in the fall of 1981 just as our economy was plunging into what later became known as the 1981/2 National Energy Policy Recession. To make things more difficult our darling son was born with medical difficulties. Thankfully with time, both the recession and the medical concerns with our son pleasantly resolved themselves. “ Thankfully most problems come and go” REFRAME YOUR LABELS Today I have re-framed that label “Stubborn” and I fully understand my mother was well intended. English was my moms’ second language and she did not have the gift of a good psychology education, as we have today. I choose to believe that my mom meant that I 217 Jeanne Moreau Couzens was spirited, focused, determined and motivated. I have replaced that old label “stubborn” with “strong-willed” and believe me we all have to be “strong-willed” at times to move along in our life. If you too have labels and handles that are unkind and unfair, reserve the right to change them, put a positive spin on everything. Think positive. As my oldest son Dustin frequently reminds me: “Everyone is entitled to their own opinions.” Dustin, I couldn’t agree more. FOCUSED AND DETERMINED We all need to be focused and positive thinking. Often in life we encounter times when it doesn’t just rain but it pours. Everything seems to come at us from all sides, but in our own way we need to find our inner strength and calm. We need to hold our own and boldly stand our ground, especially when it comes to surviving tough and tricky times. We start by finding the things we are grateful for, remembering all the things we have achieved 218 I Love My Work and have been blessed with and we hold these gifts close to our heart. We can’t just look at what we’ve lost or what we are struggling with as this will debilitate us. We must look up with faith and seek even the tiniest morsel of goodness to savor and to give us a boost of hope. “Let’s look for our strengths and stay the course.” IN GOOD TIMES AND IN BAD TIMES. Whatever the times we find ourselves in we need to stay focused, motivated, determined, creative, resourceful and moving in the direction of our destination. In many things in life we need to be strong-willed. Sometimes we need to follow our own head and heart and to be true to ourselves, no matter what other’s believe we should do. Always we need to be our own advocate as we know ourselves best. We need to change our vocabulary to include positive and up-lifting words like marvelous, fabulous, amazing, wonderful, incredible, brilliant, generous, creative, resourceful, talented, fascinating, charming, loving, generous, charismatic, inspiring and delightful. “Tune out the negatives.” 219 Jeanne Moreau Couzens LITTLE DREAMS WITHIN BIG DREAMS Daily I meet with many people who are looking for work. We do recruiting and staffing in our firm Horizon Resources International Inc. and it never ceases to surprise me how many people will sit out being unemployed until they find their perfect job. This comes to mind as I just had a lengthy discussion with an intelligent and accomplished lady yesterday who has come to meet with me several times desperate for work. She says she is willing to take anything as she is running out of Employment Insurance Benefits. But every time I offer her something, she refuses the work so yesterday I met with her to get the scoop. As we talked it over she said that she needs to work but doesn’t want to accept anything less than what she is capable of doing. She’s wanting interesting work that will help her grow and is expecting top dollars for the job. She is going to hold out for her big break, it is the whole deal or no deal. This is all good and reasonable but presently we 220 I Love My Work are in a bit of a recession and there seems to be more laying off than there is hiring. So we need to take everything into account when we make our decisions and what I suggest to her and others is working on little dreams within our big dreams. LOOKING AT THE BIG PICTURE When we are looking for work we need to get a clear picture of what is happening in our work world and we need to put things into perspective. Realistically there will always be curves in life that we have to maneuver around. And often we have to re-adjust our course and change our plans, ultimately keeping in mind what we want to do with our lives. It’s very frustrating that we can’t always work full steam ahead doing what we love and find meaningful. Unfortunately very often life’s realities slows down our plans and progress and we have to come up with creative compromises that will still move us in the direction we want to go. Even if our current reality isn’t our first choice 221 Jeanne Moreau Couzens we need to invent creative ways to navigate around our road- blocks and delays. We will still get to where we want to go, but not the way we had hoped to go and most often, not as quickly. ‘Problems often redirect us to our good” COMPROMISE The good news is that usually by compromising we will find our good faster. I know how hard it is to accept the disappointment of lowering our expectations. It is tough and it takes time for this brutal reality to sink in. We have to wind down in manageable increments. But overall we have to learn to be flexible and accommodating in order to get ahead. We have to live small dreams that add up to big dreams. We have to take small tasks and work them like they are the big dreams we love. Often we have to graciously take the best that is being offered at the moment and pay no mind that this in not what we had hoped for nor deserved. Life may be bumpy, but we have to smooth it out. 222 I Love My Work Who knows what a small dream can do for us or where it can lead us? I have found that when I have worked on something and I wondered why I was spending so much of my good energy on it, many times what I thought was insignificant has come back to bless me in a huge way. I once wrote a poem about how most good things in life come wrapped in a brown paper bag. So often good things come in the most unexpected ways. “Life grows in the cracks.” BIG MOMENTS “It may not look like your big moment, but it can lead to your big moment” – Love Your Life by Victoria Osteen Many years ago I worked with an abusive man who was looking for work. He was rude, wore his hat in our interview and was disheveled and bitter towards life. He was battling an alcohol problem, was recently divorced and had just lost his job. This good man was very talented but was in a tug of war with alcohol and life in 223 Jeanne Moreau Couzens general. I was somewhat taken back when he told me in the interview that I couldn’t help him because I was too young and inexperienced in life. “What did a young thing like me know?“ Whoops! I tried to give him hope and faith that his good was waiting for him and that he just needed to keep ‘asking, seeking and knocking’. I told him that something would turn up and turn up it did! We got a request for a candidate who had just the expertise and experience he had so we placed him on contract with a good client of ours. OUR OPPORTUNITIES Truly I wanted to give him a chance, but I had some mixed feelings about how it would all work out. To my delight he did an excellent job, he knew the work well and enjoyed being back to work and earning. But to my dismay he continued his verbally abusive behavior towards me and our firm. He 224 I Love My Work constantly challenged the way we did things, he tried to find errors in his pay and pay advise, and no matter how hard we tried, we couldn’t put a foot right with him. He was difficult to say the least. Over and over again, our whole office took time with him to set things right and make him happy. It was very taxing, but we all wanted to make things work. OUR BLESSING Two years later, an international corporation took over the company Mr. Difficult worked for and wanted to put all our contract employees who worked in his department onto the payroll of a Staffing firm they had an alliance with. We stood to lose many contract employees as well as an excellent client company. No doubt this was going to hurt our firm. WONDER OF WONDERS Wonder of wonders our good man with his difficult personality and hard edges went against the take over and mobilized our contractors to 225 Jeanne Moreau Couzens refuse to leave our company and to go with another staffing firm. At the time we didn’t even know this was going on, we had only been told by the corporation that this was a done deal, but fortunately as it turned out, this was not so. The whole department said they would resign their employment if Horizon Staffing could not represent them and they stuck to their word. “We never know how far a good turn will take us.” GOOD NEWS To our surprise we were asked to go with the international company under the radar and provide staffing services to them and over the years little by little we became their major staffing firm. Incredible! I can’t tell you how richly this has blessed us. This was living one small dream that turned into a big dream. One small break that gave us a huge break. AMAZING! Always we need to live our little dreams the best we can, one at a time, as we never know where they will lead us. Humble Note: When I share this story many 226 I Love My Work others have affirmed incredible stories of finding their good in unlikely situations. Think back to the many times you have found a profound blessing while working your way through a difficulty. “We need to count our blessings everyday.” NO TIME TO LOSE Oh my goodness! As time goes by I realize how truly precious and fleeting time is. Truly time is one of our greatest assets. With time, resourceful thinking and determined action we can co-create so many wonderful things beyond our wildest dreams. Time and not money is what we need to make our beautiful dreams come true. When we plant fertile creative ideas and do the work over time, we create unbelievably wonderful things in our one short life. “Truly life just gets better.” OUR GIFT OF TIME The most difficult thing to do sometimes is to get started. Once we get started, we are on 227 Jeanne Moreau Couzens a roll, one thing leads to the next and life just keeps getting better. We seem to move from one experience to another and somehow everything is connected. We need the learning from one experience to make our next step. Each is a piece of the puzzle and when we look back, we can see all the connecting steps on our path. This is the divine order of our life. Let’s make good use of our gift of time here on earth. Let’s not let life pass us by. Let’s enjoy one good thing after another. ENJOY IT ALL! “Time is the most valuable commodity an individual possesses” – James Arthur Ray DEFERRED DREAMS So often we hold back living our good life because we feel that not everything is sorted out yet. We are not ready to make a change. Maybe we don’t like the home we live in, maybe we want to lose weight, maybe we need to get feeling better, maybe we want to sort out our love life before we feel we can live well and love our lives. 228 I Love My Work I have been in this land of deferred dreams and it’s like living life in black and white. The color and sparkle is missing and we move through our lives on autopilot. It is so ‘ho hum.’ What are we waiting for? We have the incredible power of mind, body, heart and spirit within us. We are fully equipped with all that we could possibly need to make our lives so rich and exciting. All of us have so much untapped talent and incredible abilities just waiting for us to get moving. Yes certainly we may have to brush up some of our gifts and skills, but we have them ready to go. When we push down our dreams and desires, for whatever reason, there is a good possibility that these unfulfilled self- expressions could wither and die within us. It is not only our loss, but we cheat the world of lost potential. ONE THING LEADS TO ANOTHER When we wait for things to happen, we are wasting our precious resource of time. Time always moves on and will leave us behind if we 229 Jeanne Moreau Couzens are not living in the moment, current with our life and making some head way. How often have we spent time with others who have closed the door to their dreams and are just putting in time. The only thing which makes them feel alive is eating and feeling their pain. Sadly so their days move in and out of their lonely lives with little change or enjoyment. It’s just another day like any other. They have gone into hibernation and hopefully will come out in spring time after they survive their winters. “It’s time to break the mold” LET’S BE BOLD AND WISE Let’s use every little bit of our talents, our gifts, all our experience, expertise, creative ideas, and every resource we have to the fullest. Let’s take it to the limit and see what we can do with what we have. Let’s not let the negatives in life derail us from living the life we love. Let’s not hold back, let’s not let fear rule, let’s be bold and wise and build and enjoy our 230 I Love My Work impossible dreams. “Let’s create our magnum opus.” OUR LEGACY “One excellent way to extend our time here on earth is to leave a legacy for others to enjoy.” So many of us just follow our noses not fully understanding that we are living and creating a life that will count for something, at least to those we love. It is astounding to hear people talk down about themselves and their lives as if this big life experience on earth is meaningless and insignificant. Let’s make a list of all the successes large and small we have enjoyed over our life time. Let’s look for every way to build more successes into our life. Let’s build a great legacy. “May our legacy be a gift to others” THE MAGIC OF LIFE Honestly since I was a child of ten, I have always felt the magic of life. I knew I had a place in this good world and I just knew life 231 Jeanne Moreau Couzens held something magnificent and grand. I savored this inner knowing like humming a happy tune that I didn’t know the words to, nor fully understood yet. The words to describe this ‘knowing’ have come and I use them to try to make sense out of life and to lay before me the path I will journey on to create my magnum opus. OUR SUCCESS POSITIVELY IMPACTS OTHERS How well I will live my life, overcome the challenges and difficulties I face, build the dreams which our mine to create and grow into the person I aspire to be, will make a big difference to me, to my family and to others. We are not in this alone. When we succeed we don’t always know the ripple effect this will have on others. Conversely when we fail, especially ungraciously, it hurts many people. Both my mother and father are story tellers and their stories of survival and of people building a good life in spite of near impossible conditions still carries a message of courage and hope. 232 I Love My Work Success is always so full of good energy. Let’s work hard to succeed. It will richly bless us and others. “Live well one hour at a time” CO-CREATING A MIRACLE IN LIFE We don’t live just for the moment or for ourselves every day of our lives. We need to think of how we connect with our world and all of life. Sometimes we get caught up in the pain and strain of the everyday, but there is so much more going on than the distractions and disappointments we all face. We are a very important part of the whole. What we do is significant and important. We are a vital part of the ebb and flow of life. We are unique in co-creating with others the miracle in life. Be vibrant, be inspired, look for some little messes to clean up and beautify. Make improvements every where you go, uplift others, love life, plant trees and leave a legacy that will live on well after you are gone from this world. “Always do what is important first.” 233 Jeanne Moreau Couzens PRIORITIZE Don’t leave the best to the last. Start with what is the most important thing that you need to do today. It has to be on your list of priorities, not on that of someone else. Too often we rush to deal with other peoples’ crisis of the moment and leave what we need to do until the last. And too often we are too tired and drained of energy by the time we can start on our own projects. I too find that there is always so much to do at work, at home and just to keep my life going. There are always places to go, things to do and people to see and I love all this, but time slips by and I have not accomplished what I want to do. My time has been consumed by all the little sundries, the emails and telephone calls of everyday business. Everything is a small emergency that I need to answer to. Now certainly these things are important too, but we have to know that they are really the behind the scenes to the major event. Someone else could take care of these if I chose to delegate. “Let’s give ourselves permission to eat our cake before we eat our peas.” 234 I Love My Work Let’s do what we can’t wait to do. FIRST. Enjoy! DELEGATE We need to know that someone else can do these background things for us and we can get on with our task at hand, whatever that may be. We could be writing books, painting art, sculpting, writing and recording music, creating videos and doing the fun stuff of life we dream of. Now I’m not suggesting that we stop driving our parents to their doctor’s appointments or volunteering on committees. What I am suggesting is that we make time to paint our delightful masterpiece as well. GETTING DOWN TO THE SMALL STUFF Of course taking care of the small and tedious tasks has to be scheduled in. When we are looking for work we need to do things like our job research, creating a database of who and where we are sending our resumes, writing thank-you notes and recording the comments 235 Jeanne Moreau Couzens and feedback we receive. Good record- keeping will set us up if we ever need to find employment again. Keeping a current data base will remind us where we have sent our resume, the responses we have had and general notes on conversations or contacts we’ve had with the company. We don’t want to be caught unaware when a prospective employer calls, we want to be updated, professional and ready. If we are not prudent with our follow up, let’s get help from someone who has great organizational skills and can keep us current and informed. We need to have this background information. It is part of building our dream work life. “we always need to do the background work” MAKING OUR CHOICES We have gone over many ideas about finding our life and work dream, creating our work of art here on earth and leaving a beautiful legacy to be remembered by. We have thought long and hard about how to find our life and work dream. We have looked and given serious thought at 236 I Love My Work the choices we have and now we have come to a decision. We are about to make our small start and take our first little step of a long and rewarding journey. Now, we have big choices to make regarding our work life. Do we want to work for ourselves as in contracting or freelancing work? Do we want to start our own company or do we want to work on staff or temping with corporations? We can do all three, but it is best to focus on one and move with it. We can be confident that we alone always know best what will work for us. BEGINNING OUR JOURNEY On our sacred journey we will have to have hope and faith as our dream partners. We will need an exciting vision of our dream to guide us as we travel through uncharted territory. Like pioneers setting out we know there will be tough times ahead. There will be fog that will cloud our vision and we will come into turbulence and detours. We might even lose our way. No worries if we keep our partners hope 237 Jeanne Moreau Couzens and faith with us at all times as we’ll find that we will never feel lost and alone for long. “Faith is the fuel that drives our dream” OVERCOMING Part of the success of our journey is overcoming big challenges. We will need to focus on finding creative solutions to the many potential problems we are sure to face. We will need to have a faith that is bigger than our fears. We will need to have bounce to come right back up when we go down. We will need to feel the assurance that we are not alone and to feel the comfort of the many others who journey with us and share our dreams. We will need to stay positive at all times, resourceful and innovative in the way we use our gifts and talents, and when we find ourselves hanging in the balance, let’s just say a prayer and take a leap of faith even if we can’t see the net below. “Always remember to wing it when all else fails.” We need to make plans, set goals and envision our life and work dream and always we need to 238 I Love My Work keep our dreams alive. Above all else we need to learn to take time for ourselves to regroup, recoup and recharge. “Our health and wellness always has to be a top priority.” DOCUMENTING AND RECORDING OUR JOURNEY What a difference it makes when we take photos, do videos and write in a journal so that we can make a record of our sacred journey. This is great for posterity but best of all it helps us to make sense of our life. These visuals will help to fit the pieces of our life story together. It allows us to readily see the progress and the distance we have come. It gives us an overall view of our grand journey. Like an aerial map we can easily see where we have started and the ground we have covered. We can see patterns and conformity, and see how each step led to the next. Best of all we can enjoy and savor our good life’s journey. “We learn as we grow along” 239 Jeanne Moreau Couzens GRATITUDE Without a doubt, we need to live our life to the fullest, no matter where we find ourselves on our journey. We need to always count our blessings and to have sincere gratitude. Patience, good will, perseverance and an exciting vision of our future will help us to navigate the many twists and turns we encounter. If we feel down, which will happen, let’s go over our journey and be grateful for all the victories and successes we have enjoyed. Let’s look at our photo-albums, videos and read our journals so we can remember all the good times shared with those we love and the miracles we’ve been blessed with. Know that in spite of feeling like we are at a stand-still in our lives, we still have so much to be thankful for. Life never stops and often we are still moving ahead even if we don’t feel like we are. Know that challenges are temporary. So let’s find something to be happy about today. “Make happiness a way of life.” 240 I Love My Work BUILD GOODWILL As we search for work and as we work hard to build our magnum opus, our big life/work dream, let’s never forget to build goodwill. Having a friendly, helpful and cooperative attitude will take us places we never dreamed of, it is that powerful. Today the word “nice” seems trite and old fashioned in this world of big deals, but I learned early in life that being kind, considerate and well mannered can move mountains. Too often in our rush and scramble for success, we leave out the best parts of ourselves. In the end this hurts us the most. We arrive at the finish line with no one to cheer us on. We are loners, hardened by the years of struggle for survival. Let’s not forget goodwill as this will include others in our journey and will hasten our success. Never try to be top dog, just be yourself. Goodwill sweetens our hearts and softens our spirits. 241 Jeanne Moreau Couzens HUMBLE THOUGHTS • if we work daily on our dream and we stay true to our heart’s desires, life will bless us in ways we can’t even imagine • a kindness is something we never forget • be mild tempered, kind in your judgments and noble in your thoughts • lead by example • build a big and beautiful life • never give up • goodness happens everywhere • don’t be a one note person • be a good listener • be comfortable with yourself • believe in a magnificent dream • spend your resources wisely, never squander • unearth the treasures within • laughter is multi-lingual • make time for lighthearted pleasure • BELIEVE • say YES • wake up anticipating the good in every day • never let distractions occupy your mind • calm and center yourself everyday 242 I Love My Work YES IS A BIG WORD When we say yes to good things, we open the door to let our lives be positively changed forever. This little word “yes” unlocks our prison door where we have held ourselves captive and we become free to explore our own good life. YES! What a wonderful adventure awaits us. KNOWING IS POWERFUL I’m sad to say that too often we accept less than we deserve and are capable of because we don’t know better. We hold ourselves back most often because of a fear of change and a dread of failure. But when we fully understand that failure is just trying to succeed at something and that we can have as many tries as we want, it helps to remove some of the negative barriers and frees us to pursue the dreams we hold near and dear to our heart. Just a note here that most often the things we fear are the things we know very little about. Always let’s work at overcoming the things we 243 Jeanne Moreau Couzens fear. “Let’s allow ourself some wiggle room” PUSHING BACK FEAR I have found that often the things I fear are things I have had very little experience with and what little experience I have had may not have been favorable. Sometimes I have a false impression of something and so I am uncomfortable with it. Certainly there are things we should fear, but we should not let fear rule our lives 24/7 as is the trend today. We need to consider that perhaps we don’t have the correct impression, information, attitude or a positive experience about what we perceive to be a negative and scary experience. But if we make an effort to seek reliable information and to learn as much as we can about what we fear, we find that knowledge can be a powerful force in reducing the fear factor in our life. Fear can be controlled. Fear not. We can make our way around this obstacle. There is power in knowing that “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” – T. Roosevelt 244 I Love My Work BELIEVING MAKES THINGS HAPPEN When we believe in our goals and dreams, we add amazing muscle power to building our magnum opus. If we think we can do something, we most probably can. Truly, believing is half way there. I think one of the toughest hurdles I come up against in career coaching is helping people to believe. To believe in themselves, to believe in their dreams and to believe in a higher power that we all can connect with 24/7. “Now how good is that?” CLAIMING OUR GREATNESS Too often we feel like we are not worthy, educated enough, have the right connections or experiences, are too old or too young. For whatever the multitude of reasons we come up with, we feel we are not ready and capable of realizing what we deeply desire. Whether it be finding work we love, or living the life we hope for, our negative thinking holds us back in bondage. Fortunately this is a habit we can all 245 Jeanne Moreau Couzens break. “We should only compete with ourselves.” BREAKING DOWN BARRIERS We break down these barriers when we realize that we have so much more strength of mind, body and spirit than we know. That we have all the resources within us to pursue and live our meaningful and happy life. We will find the work we love and we will make our life an incredible work of art. Believe this with all your heart and it will come to be. “They are able because they think they are able.” – Virgil THE POWER OF KNOWING Believing is a powerful energy when it walks with us on our sacred journey. It puts determination in our spirit, strength in our convictions and a song in our heart. Enjoy! Let’s turn the little word yes into a big word with the power of knowing that if we believe in the strength of our dreams we can change our lives in a most magnificent fashion. Let’s say 246 I Love My Work “YES!” to our life and work dreams today. “We can move our mountains.” TAKING TIME TO CELEBRATE LIFE March 23,2009 Everyday look for something you are happy for. Let’s never ever miss an opportunity to celebrate every little thing we can. Do the dance of joy, give thanks. Enjoy. This morning I saw my first robin happily singing in the spring sun. It warmed my heart. And today I finished this book so this afternoon I am celebrating. “I LOVE MY LIFE! ” SEEK YOUR BLESSINGS! I end this short journey you and I have been on by encouraging you to look for a dream that will fill your spirit with hope. Hope gives our lives meaning and purpose, filling us with ideas, energy and enthusiasm. It keeps our endorphins working and we’ll find we are more optimistic and cheerful. Having a dream to live by makes us feel like the winners we are. 247 Jeanne Moreau Couzens Dreams always bring sunshine to our hearts because dreams release incredible energy and enthusiasm within us. Truly having a dream will make waking up each day worthwhile. Know that there are as many dreams as there are dreamers, and if our dreams feel right for us, then they are absolutely perfect for us. Exuberantly pursue what inspires you. Follow your Heart and find your Dream. ENJOY! “We all run our own race.” THINGS THAT NEVER GO OUT OF STYLE • Being nice, friendly and kind • Being professional • Hope, goodwill and trying to live our dreams • Being well mannered and polite • Being clean and well-groomed • Staying fit and in good health – mind, body and soul • Wanting our one life to work out well • Having a need to be loved by others • Looking for ways to make life better • Surviving catastrophes and major set backs and disappointments 248 I Love My Work • Enjoying time out and holidays • Tears of sorrow and joy • Smiles, laughter and having fun • An attitude of gratitude • Being humble and yet proud without being boastful • Being gracious and forgiving • Being patient • Being serene and calm • Truth, integrity and being sincere • Loving life • Good intentions • Happiness • Goodness of every kind • Knowledge and the willingness to learn and grow • Persistence and Perseverance • Never quitting • Starting over again • Striving for excellence • Faith and Courage • LOVE • Living well • Believing • Working hard • Focus, dedication and determination 249 Jeanne Moreau Couzens • Cheerfulness and friendliness • Compassion and caring • Being organized • Accepting ourselves and others • Knowing we will make errors • Respect and dignity • Being positive • Being fair and non-judgemental • Helping others • Singing and dancing • Dreams and dreamers • Patience • Loving our life • Laughter and Merry-making • Making the most of our gifts and talents I LOVE MY LIFE We all want to love our life and we all deserve to live a life we love. Presently I am learning how to create the life I love by making the very best of the life I am presently living. I am looking at all the relationships and activities which make up my days and I am praying and meditating on how I 250 I Love My Work can make the most of these precious assets. Don’t get me wrong, most days I love my life, and certainly I love the people in my family circle and those who come into my life, but the more I learn and grow and tweak things, the better my life gets. I am always looking for ways to make my life and my work more interesting and rewarding by checking that my attitudes and habits are positive and constructive. I am open to learn and grow and I am eager to live the best life I possibly can. I am the student now as I begin to write this book on how I can love my life. The Global Crisis is still raging in the world, but let’s make our inner world rich and thriving. Let’s all find a positive and healthy psychological plane to live on. Journey with me and get ready to love your life. My heartfelt best wishes to you. – xoxo Jeanne 251
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