HOW TO EAT LIKE A CHILD 44 LESSON #20 BRANDON removes previous title card to reveal "How to Act After Being Sent to your Room." He exits. Lights up C.S., whichsuggestsa girl'sbedroom. RA CHEL storms on stage in a fury. [MUSIC NO. 10: "SAYONARA"] (NOTE: This song has a large repertoire of moods-fury, deter mination, stoicism, pathos and simple relief. In casting the role, look for someone with a natural tendency toward the over-dramatic. Think of it as an operatic aria.) RACHEL. I HATE THEM. (She stamps her foot.) I HATE THEM. (She smashes her pillow.) I HATE THEM, I HATE THEM, I HATE THEM. (She throws herself down on her bed.) OKAY, I CUT MY BROTHER'S HAIR ... SHORT . VERY . FOR THAT THEY THROW ME INTO SOLITARY, WITH NOTHING UP HERE BUT MY PRIVATE STER-E -0 MEDIA CENTER TO KEEP ME DISTRACTED. WELL, I THINK THEY OVER-REACTED. (She stands. ) WHERE IS JUSTICE? WHERE IS FAIR PLAY? WHERE IS MY SUITCASE? I'M RUNNING AWAY TONIGHT. (She gets out a small suitcase and starts to pack her dolls. ) SINCE NOBODY LOVES ME I'LL QUIETLY DROP OUT OF SIGHT. HOW TO EAT LIKE A CHILD 45 (pretending to write a note) DEAR PARENTS, I WON'T SEE YOU ANYMORE. I TRIED FOR TEN YEARS BUT YOU WRECKED IT. JUST LEAVE MY ALLOWANCE OUTSIDE THE DOOR. AND FOUR TIMES A YEAR I'LL COME BY LATE AT NIGHT TO COLLECT IT . SAYONARA! GOOD-BYE FOR GOOD! DON'T FEEL GUILTY, (accusingly) EVEN THOUGH YOU SHOULD. (with great sadness) TELL GRANDMA TO THINK OF ME NOW AND THEN. TELL GIRL SCOUTS THAT I'VE RELOCATED. TELL JUNIOR HIS HAIR WILL GROW OUT AGAIN. (suddenly furious again) I STILL THINK THAT HAIRDO'S THE BEST ONE I EVER CREATED. SAYONARA! THIS IS NO BLUFF! GOOD-BYE FOREVER! BILLY. (off-stage as "the father") Come on down for dinner, dear. RACHEL. (spoken) Thank goodness. (sung) I'VE SUFFERED ENOUGH! (Black out.) LESSON #21 REBECCA removes previous title card to reveal "How to Watch More Television." She exits. DARIEN is D.R. DARIEN. Please, Mom, please. Just this once. I'll only ask once. I promise, if you let me watch this show, I'll go to bed the second it's over. I won't complain. I won't ask for a drink of