© Dr. Patti Britton 2013
What is Sex Coaching?
From www.DrPattiBritton.com
This is Dr. Patti’s Model & Approach For Working with Clients~
What is Sex Coaching?
Sex Coaching is my professional style of sexual education, counseling or therapy.
In the early 1990′s I coined this expression to integrate the work that I was doing
as a nationally board certified Clinical Sexologist, Sexuality Educator and
Personal Coach. I have always admired the work of Thomas Leonard, the
developer of coaching as its own profession. Back then I had the privilege of being
coached by the best, Julian Cohen and Cheryl Richardson. I utilized some of the
principles from that philosophical model for personal empowerment as a
component of my working style with clients as their Sex Coach.
So, is it traditional sex therapy?
Not really, although each sex therapist or counselor will tell you that he or she
uses a unique model. Often a qualified sexologist will use the PLISSIT model
founded by Dr. Jack Annon, which I use in an amended format. P for permission,
LI for limited information, SS for specific suggestions and IT (in my model) for
intensive training.
Then, how is Sex Coaching different?
Sex Coaching is a mix of these elements:
1) Personalized sexuality information and education
2) Re-directive cognitive processes and mental reframing
3) Emotional balancing
4) Intuitive guidance
5) Behavioral training
6) Resource and referral management
So, you can see it’s not your average bear type of talk therapy. Sex Coaching is
really driven by my clients’ desire to set and reach goals for their life’s fulfillment.
To my way of thinking, Sex Coaching is not therapy: it doesn’t take a look back at
the stumbles and falls of your life. Instead, it takes your hand, placing the power
in the dynamic of guiding while empowering you, and it points you toward your
dreams. With the focus on a future outcome, you can reach your goals, visions,
and wishes and have what you want to manifest in your life. It’s a process, not an
event. Sex Coaching involves talking, accessing emotions, practicing a variety of
specific exercises, conducting home assignments to do alone or with your
partner, reading, watching videos, writing and, most of all, daring to change.
How does Sex Coaching work?
As a sexologist, I have discovered that there are five basic areas that need to be
discovered, addressed, unblocked and then aligned.
1) Mind—-information, your self-talk, thinking about sexual performance,
capacity for fantasy, troubling thought patterns, such as compulsivity
© Dr. Patti Britton 2013
2) Emotions—the feelings you carry from the past, about your body and body
image, what you suppress and express, how you express your emotions, and your
capacity for intimacy
3) Body-image issues, knowing how your own sexual pattern works,
understanding your own body’s sexual architecture and function, acknowledging
your own sexual (dys)functions, learning skills for how to be a successful lover
alone or with a partner
4) Energy—sex is all about energy; the build-up, the containment and the
expression of energy; in my one-on-one work I am able to observe your energy
patterns within yourself and with a partner (even about how your non-physical
relationship dynamics) and give coaching feedback for handling this often
overlooked part of your sexuality
5) Spirit—that essence of self; those esoteric moments or practices that
transcend the moment, such as peak orgasm experiences; sacred sexuality; the
more subtle and delicate manner in which you deny or reflect your inner self
through your sexuality; the path of sex to experience the Divine or God
It’s my observation and experience that for most people all FIVE elements must
be in alignment for sex to be the most fulfilling in your life. I work to help you do
just that.
Dr. Patti’s working model for Assessment and creation of effective Action Plans
is known as MEBES ©. All of this is fully described in the landmark textbook,
The Art of Sex Coaching: Expanding Your Practice (2005), W.W. Norton
& Co, authored by Dr. Britton
What are some common sexual problems or concerns in Sex Coaching?
For men:
Erectile dysfunction (not being able to get or keep an erection when you want)
Ejaculatory Control issues (not being able to control when you release at orgasm
to ejaculation—early ejaculation being the most common, and including delayed
ejaculation and learning how to reach multiple orgasms)
Lack of sexual desire
Lack of genital sensation
Body image issues, such as shame about penis size
Lack of skills for being a successful lover
Sexual shyness or inexperience
Lack of dating and/or social skills
Sexual shutdown (numbness with or about sex)
Relationship conflicts (including power struggles, lack of communication or
negotiation skills, uneven desire, performance anxiety, anger or resentment…)
Kink, fetish and BDSM sexuality
For women:
Orgasm difficulties (Inability to reach orgasm alone and/or with a partner; fear of
letting go)
Painful sex (dryness, vaginismus, pelvic pain disorders requiring a non-medical
approach)
© Dr. Patti Britton 2013
Lack of sexual desire
G Spot orgasms
Lack of skills for being a successful lover
Sexual shutdown (numbness with or about sex)
Relationship conflicts (including power struggles, lack of communication or
negotiation skills, uneven desire, performance anxiety, anger or resentment…)
Kink, fetish and BDSM sexuality
Who can use Sex Coaching?
Any adult, really. I work with men, women and couples. Even teens are welcome
to access the wide range of information available at our site for their protection
and wellness. My work is gay/lesbian/trans-friendly, although the main approach
on this site and in one-on-one sessions is heterosexually oriented.
What are the unique characteristics of the Sex Coaching approach?
Well, there are many similarities with other methods for healing sexual concerns.
Yet, we are also erotophilic. I believe and I coach that individuals and couples can
benefit greatly from integrating the use of porn or erotic materials into their
sexual repertoire. Sex Coaching is all about sexual enhancement, not just fixing
what ails ya. I work with you to empower your sexual experience toward real and
positive results, never pathologizing your sexuality. In my one-on-one work, I
offer the specialized personal intensive training for women known as “orgasmdirected coaching” based on the model created by Betty Dodson, my mentor and
friend, which includes the five elements contained in MEBES© and emphasizes
body coaching awareness exercises.
What is the Sex Coach mission?
As your Sex Coach my motto is “Celebrate your sexual self!” Because one-on-one
Sex Coaching and other forms of sex therapy require time, money and
geographical availability, I have dedicated myself to making this website a virtual
reflection of my approach.
What can you expect to gain from Dr. Patti Britton’s home website ?
· A expert insider’s perspective on sex, love and intimacy
· Fresh ideas
· A variety of sexual enhancement techniques
· Arousal materials
· Sharing and support
· Skill-based options
· Accessories for your sexual pleasure
· Up-to-date credible information
· Networking
· Fun and entertainment
· Mind/emotions/body/spirit expansion
· Chance to communicate your views
· A place to find tolerance and acceptance
· Participation in community
© Dr. Patti Britton 2013
· A sexological spin on the world
· Communication with like minded people
What else?
So, click away and enjoy our website. If you need personal one-on-one work with
me, contact me to set up a virtual appointment by phone, email or an in person
visit. You’ll find this may be the pivotal and transformational moment of your
life! You can email me directly at: [email protected] or leave me a message on
the voicemail at: (323) 405-7169 anytime.
How Sex Coaching Works by Telephone
Does telephone coaching work as well as in person?
The answer is a resounding “YES!” Telephone coaching is the primary way that
most life or business coaches connect with their clients. Believe it or not, many of
our own clients report that using the telephone is far more powerful than in
person.
Why? Maybe because of these reasons:
There is no commute on the freeway or waiting for your seat on the subway.
The visual distractions never get in the way, such as asking yourself, “Is my
makeup runny?” or “Am I in yesterday’s rumpled clothing?”
You are using only one of the senses (your hearing) through which
communication becomes pure and direct.
We have found that some of the sessions that have been conducted by telephone
have taken the client to greater depths of disclosure and inner truth than most inperson will ever allow.
We also can use Skype to work with you; however, the bumpy audio may be
distracting. We upon occasion will do video conferencing. Ask us about that
option after we have established our sex coaching relationship.
How does it work?
The way it works is this: Either by a brief telephone call or by email we set up a
time for you to call for your session. (We are on Pacific Time, 3 hours behind
NYC, for example). You simply call the West Los Angeles office number at the
designated time and have your session.
What are the usual results?
Usually it takes at least three sessions to get to change and feel progress. We
recommend that you commit to a minimum of working with us for a six-month
period. Then you assess your results. At that time you may decide to renew or to
move toward terminating the work. This is done as a joint decision-making
process, always with YOUR highest needs in mind. Clients report dramatic
results, especially if they show up on time, take this seriously, integrate the sex
coaching suggestions for change that are offered, and do the home assignments.
How long are sessions? How do we set this up?
© Dr. Patti Britton 2013
The sessions last one full hour; and if you happen to be working as a couple and
cannot be on two phones on the same line, we can use a conference call center.
The conference call center option must be arranged in advance.
How does this actually work?
We usually spend the first session talking about the problems, concerns, goals
and/or issues. We also talk about solutions right away. Much of our work
together is based on what you do as a person (or if you are a couple) in-between
sessions… There are home assignments, sometimes writing, and certainly rethinking or implementing practice of new ideas and behaviors that move you
toward your goals. We work toward future outcomes, not focusing much on the
past. Once we gather the necessary background information on each of you (such
as your relationship history)—that is, why you are here today—things move
forward quite quickly. The process is goal-focused, present-centered and resultsdriven.
Before you begin, it is our policy to get a BRIEF description of what is the issue or
concern that brought you to us, before having our first call. This is done in a short
phone call before you have decided to work with us. After our initial or first actual
phone session, we may then send you (or both of you if you are a couple) an
intake form by email, which you return. Often we speak with each person
individually after the first session to address the past issues and have “private
time” without the other partner being present, if you are here as a couple. Having
a chance for “private air time” is one of the hallmarks of helping couples to reach
their mutual goals.
TRAININGS: SexCoachU~ISSR
And if Sex Coaching is your calling or something you want to become competent
in providing your client base as an additional service, training is essential! To find
the premier training program and to earn international certification for yourself,
go to www.SexCoachU.com; as Co-Founder, Dr. Patti is the pioneering force
behind professional training and standards for sex coaches worldwide.
Live professional trainings are being offered worldwide by Dr. Britton; all
information is available at her unique website: www.theISSR.com; applications
are required to assure that our trainings are right for you.
Contact Information:
Dr. Patti Britton
T: (323) 405-7169
F: (310) 760-4081
URLs: www.DrPattiBritton.com; www.theISSR.com; www.SexCoachU.com
Mail: PO Box 2220, Beverly Hills, CA 90213, USA
Skype: Sexcoachdrpatti (by appt. only)