No fighting, no biting
no screaming
Bo Hejlskov Elvén
Clinical psychologist
Problem solving
Conflicts are often reciprocal
problem solution
- I have a problem that I solve
- My solution becomes a problem for
somebody else that he or she must
solve
- In a way he or she becomes a
problem for me to solve...
This kind of conflict can only be
solved by one of us using solutions
that do not become a problem for
the other
Solutions
We would like to teach others
to use solutions that do not
cause problems for us
It would be more logical that
we find solutions that do not
create problems for the person
In order to avoid
powerlessness and lack of
control
The Principle
of Control
You have to have self control in
order to coorporate
The Principle of Control
Everybody wants to avoid lack of control
in order to avoid
- Severe anxiety
- Hitting
- Kicking
- Biting
- Throwing of furniture
- Severe self harm
The Principle of Control
Refusing or taking a long time
Lying
Running away or stepping backwards
Spitting, hitting out or screaming
Biting one's hand or cutting one's arm
Threats
Bad names
That's why everybody has solutions and
strategies in order to keep self control
-
Authority
The relation between my prime minister and
me
- He has more power over me than I have over him
- Which gives me the right to think and say that he
is an idiot
- And even write it in a letter in the newspaper
- If he answers he will lose power and authority
The Principle of Control
g
e
r
o
u
s
Refusing or taking a long time
Lying
Running away or stepping backwards
Spitting, hitting out or screaming
Biting one's hand or cutting one's arm
Threats
Bad names
N
o
t
d
a
n
That's why everybody has solutions and
strategies in order to keep self control
-
Affect trigger
Time
Chaos
Affect Regulation
Affect intensity
No control
Self control
Affect trigger
Time
Affect Regulation
Affect intensity
No control
Self control
Affect trigger
Time
Chaos
Affect Regulation
Affect intensity
No control
Self control
Affect trigger
Time
Kaos
Affect Regulation
Affect intensity
No control
Self control
The Principle of Control
That's why we must strive to
-
Make sure the person in focus keeps his or
her self control
Help the person regain his or her self control
if he or she has lost it
Use methods that helps the person lend
control to us
The principle of
responsibility
He who takes on
responsibility can make a
difference
Bernhard Weiner
Bo's car work shop
We work in a car work shop
- Who's responsible for service and
repairs in the work shop?
- The owner of the car?
- The car?
- Cars don't have to coorporate
- Cars can't just stop being broken
- The mechanic needs to use the proper
tools and procedures
Bo's car work shop
We work in a car work shop
- Who's responsible for service and
repairs in the work shop?
- The owner of the car?
- The car?
- Cars don't have to coorporate
- Cars can't just stop being broken
- The mechanic needs to use the proper
tools and procedures
The meter maid
If you get a parking ticket you have
two possible thoughts
- I put the car in the wrong spot. That was stupid
- The meter maid is an idiot
- The last thought doesn't make you choose
another spot tomorrow
- And you will get a new parking ticket
- Which confirms your opinion: They are idiots
- And you do not learn and keep getting tickets
Bo's car work shop
We work in a car work shop
- Who's responsible for service and
repairs in the work shop?
- The owner of the car?
- The car?
- Cars don't have to coorporate
- Cars can't just stop being broken
- The mechanic needs to use the proper
tools and procedures
Bo's car work shop
The car is supposed to be
in better shape after you
pick it up at the work
shop
Affect trigger
Time
Chaos
Method: Calm
Affect intensity
No control
Self control
Tools
Demands
-
We compensate for the lack of ability
to know what's good for oneself
- We use demands in order to
- Make daily life work
- Enhance hygiene
- Secure development
- Facilitate learning
But we have to accept responsibility
for the demands
Adjustment
of Demands
Refusing is a solution
Everybody is entitled to say no!
Our responsibility is to make
sure the person says yes!
- Comprehensible structures
- Physical
Adjustment
of Demands
Refusing is a solution
Everybody is entitled to say no!
Our responsibility is to make
sure the person says yes!
- Comprehensible structures
- Physical
- Rules
- In time
- Compensates for low ability to
predict
Adjustment
of Demands
On top of that we can facilitate
short term comprehension
- Sense of participation
- Deals
- Choices
- Experience of an us
- Future
- Preparation time
- When you' re ready
- Snoozing
Adjustment
of Demands
Prompts and cues
Creating general view
Creating reasons
A sense of having finished
Bribes
Motivating acts
Further short term
comprehension tricks
-
Affect trigger
Time
Chaos
Method: Escalation
Affect intensity
No control
Self control
Diversion
Straight diversions
- Talking about the
person's interests
- Questions
- Look!
Affective diversions
-
Humor
Change of staff
Safe and well known
activity
Perceptual diversions
Affect trigger
Chaos
Time
Self control
No control
Method: Low arousal approach
Affect intensity
Affect Contagion
Affect is contagious we feel other's affects
Using mirror neurons
Mirroring muscle
tension
Affect Contagion
All children are born with the
ability to mirror affect
It is the basis of empathy
development
People with special needs do
not have a standard empathy
development
They do not develop the
ability to separate their own
from somebody else's affect
Time
Chaos
Affect contagion
Affect intensity
No control
Self control
Low Arousal
Approach
Keep calm
Avoid anger
Avoid prolonged eye
contact
Low Arousal
Approach
Keep the distance
- When the person steps
backwards you step
backwards as well
- Step backwards in demand
situations
- Do not stand opposite the
person
Low Arousal Approach
Low Arousal Approach
Low Arousal
Approach
Sit down when the person
is agitated
Avoid a marked body
language
Pretend to be walking
home from the pub
Avoid being infected by
the other's tension
Make sure your calm is
contagious
Affect trigger
Time
Chaos
Method: Chaos
Affect intensity
No control
Self control
Low Arousal
Approach - When In Chaos
Wait- it is often enough
Make other people leave
Avoid touching with tense
muscles
Relax when somebody grabs
you
Low Arousal
Approach - When In Chaos
And in emergency situations
when you need to grab
someone
- Use movement instead of
restraint
- Let go after a few seconds
- Avoid pain!
No fighting, no biting
no screaming
Bo Hejlskov Elvén
Clinical psychologist
Low arousal
and self control
- Concepts in the management
of challenging behaviour
Bo Hejlskov Elvén
Clinical psychologist