The Compassionate Friends Saskatoon Chapter Newsletter Sept - Oct - Nov 2014 All materials are © Copyright and property of The Compassionate Friends Inc. Welcome to all our Compassionate Friends and especially those newly bereaved who are receiving our newsletter for the first time. Having to accept that a loved one is no longer with us is difficult to bear and it can be especially hard to deal with the loss of our beautiful children. All that Compassionate Friends can do is encourage you to lean on us when you need a place to grieve. We all know the pain caused by the death of a child and we really want to help. National Office The Compassionate Friends of Canada, Inc. 3153 Marion Way Nanaimo, BC V9T 3Z8 Toll Free: 1 866 823 0141 Email: [email protected] Website: www.tcfcanada.net Saskatoon Executive Wendy Novakovski - Executive Chair Mary Cunningham - Executive Vice Chair Ros Maxwell - Treasurer Carol Shank- Secretary Rob Roy - Newsletter Editor [email protected] Louise Roy - Librarian Barb Kachur - Special Projects Gary Kachur - Webmaster [email protected] Members at Large: Lisa Jopling Darrell Novakovski Bill Shank Saskatoon TCF Webpage http://tcfsaskatoon.shawwebspace.ca/ Gary Kachur - Webmaster [email protected] UPCOMING REGULAR MEETINGS & EVENTS PLACE: Edwar ds Family Centr e, 333 - 4th Avenue North, Saskatoon, SK TIME: 7:30 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. DATE: Sept 30, 2014 - Support Group Meeting Oct 28, 2014 - Support Group Meeting Nov 25, 2014 - Support Group Meeting Dec 14, 2014 - Candle Lighting Program Support Group Meeting co-facilitators Mary Cunningham, Ros Maxwell, Carol Shank and Wendy Novakovski "The Compassionate Friends is about transforming the pain of grief into the elixir of hope. It takes people out of the isolation society imposes on the bereaved and lets them express their grief naturally. With the shedding of tears, healing comes. And the newly bereaved get to see people who have survived and are learning to live and love again." by Reverend Simon Stephens, founder of The Compassionate Friends Bereaved parents, grandparents, and adult siblings are welcome at our support group meetings. You will find a place of comfort, caring people, and most of all hope. Coming to the first meeting may not be easy but you have nothing to lose and so much to gain. We urge you to give it a try. For many it is the first real step toward healing. Although the first meeting may seem overwhelming and emotionally draining, we encourage you to come to several meetings to give yourself a chance to become comfortable. Many are drawn back by the knowledge that they are among those who “know how you feel.” We are not professional counselors. We are bereaved families who want to help each other. You will find a network of caring and support which will help you as you travel this journey of grief and assuredly, find hope along the way. We truly care about you. Please join us as we heal together. Founders Reverend Simon Stephens England – 1969 Paula & Arnold Shamres USA – 1972 Joan & Bob Martin Canada – 1977 Mark Your Calendar EMAIL BUDDIES If you wish to talk to somebody by email please feel free to contact us at: [email protected] We will arrange for all interested parties to get in touch with each other. TCF Saskatoon Chapter The Compassionate Friends 2014 Candle Lighting Program will be held on Sunday December 14, 2014. More details will be provided in the next newsletter which will be in your mailbox at the start of December. Page 1 Sept - Oct - Nov 2014 Love Gifts Love gifts are donations contributed to the Compassionate Friends in memory of a child who has died, or a memorial to a friend or relative, or simply a gift from someone wanting to help. These gifts allow us to continue to reach out to other bereaved families through our library, programs and newsletter. All funds collected through love gifts are put towards the cost of printing and mailing newsletters, getting supplies for meetings and purchasing reading materials for our lending library. Tax Receipts are issued for any monetary donation. Anyone wishing to contribute a love gift, please send to this address: TCF c/o 1681 Edward Avenue, Saskatoon SK. S7K 3B7 Cheques should be made payable to ‘The Compassionate Friends’ Our sincere thanks to the following people for their generous support. Dale and Melody Nieman in memory of their son Gregory These donations will help The Compassionate Friends to be here for the families who do not know today that they will need us tomorrow. Ryan Daniel Kachur 1982 - 1999 Happy Birthday….We were blessed with a wonderful son and brother. Ryan, you brought us much joy, laughter and good times. You made us proud with your creativity, accomplishments and attention to detail. You were kind, loving and a true friend to so many and we treasure every moment we had with you. Your love of nature and learning are incorporated in our lives every day. Love you and miss you always Mom, Dad, Sister, Brother-in-law and nieces TCF Saskatoon Chapter Page 4 Sept - Oct - Nov 2014 JOHN LEE MAXWELL 1975 - 1996 18 years of loving and deeply missing a wonderful son and brother. 'Til we meet again, John Boy. Love Mom, Dad, Scott and Adam Back to School: Suggestions for Helping Our Children Children experience some of the same challenges their bereaved parents know all too well – difficulty concentrating, memory lapses, and poor attention span. Grieving siblings may find these make learning more difficult. Here are suggestions to consider to make the school year less daunting for your grieving child. • Talk with his/her teachers. Teachers may not otherwise understand changes in our child’s grades or behavior. Sensitive teachers will often have suggestions – ensuring homework assignments are written down, including due dates, for example. • Take your child’s lead, especially with older children, on whether to communicate details of their sibling’s death with teachers and other parents or peers. • Provide structure at home to help your child stay organized. Create a spot in the house for drop-off of lunch boxes and book bags when coming home, and where items can be placed each evening so they aren’t forgotten in the morning rush out the door. • Consider posting a family calendar with school dates, as well as doctor appointments, parent-teacher conferences, etc. We all need extra reminders. • Ensure there is after-school time for your child to relax and be free of the demands of keeping on a good face. Grief requires a lot of energy, and everyone needs time to take a break, including your child. by Pat Pruss. TCF/Southern Maryland. reprinted from TCF/Seattle King County Chapter. Sept/Oct 2010. p 3. The Purpose of a Life I believe every life has a purpose, however short-lived. I believe every heart that beats touches someone. Even if the mother is the only one. The mother who carries the tiny heart is aware of this little life, this tiny heart with its little heartbeat. Now she is a mother for the rest of her life. If this little one dies prematurely, this little one will still impact her life in ways she may not realize. She has become a different person because of this little body that grew within her. When she gives birth, the nurse, doctor or tech that tends to her, each and every person who comes in contact with the little life will also be touched. Each person is impacted by that little heart and that little life, short-lived, but meaningful. If the baby lives for hours, days, or weeks, each person that comes into contact with the baby becomes involved with this life. This tiny person has made an impact. The person may not realize how they are being affected by the tiny person who they have seen and touched, but this tiny heart has left an impression. This tiny heart has left a ripple in a pond that will continue on forever. by Jenn W. (April’s Mommy). M.I.S.S. Foundation Newsletter. May/June 2009. reprinted from TCF/Winnipeg Chapter. July/Aug 2011. p 19. TCF Saskatoon Chapter Page 5 Sept - Oct - Nov 2014 Coping with October The coming of autumn with the beautiful colors of the leaves and their falling will bring different emotions to different families. Maybe your family had a tradition of driving through particularly scenic areas. Maybe the child you lost was the one who raked the leaves. Perhaps all of this will simply be a reminder that winter and a barren landscape are coming. Halloween is a favorite holiday for most children, but it can be hard for bereaved parents. This formerly innocent holiday, the yards decorated as graveyards with markers and ghosts and skeletons, the stores of unhappy spirits that must walk the earth, all have a completely different impact on us now. Many of us have opened the door to give out treats and been faced with a costume so similar to one our child wore for a Halloween past that either we really want to pull aside the mask to see the face behind or we want to dream that this was one last visit from our precious child. Some parents have surviving children who still want to join in the fun – and, oh, how hard it is to “trick or treat” when you feel the victim of the ultimate “trick”. Stop and think – What can you do differently? For autumn and its beauties and chores, what routines can you change? Hire someone or ask a friend who has been offering to help and asking for specific tasks. Maybe you could do it together. For Halloween, take surviving children to a carnival (many schools and churches sponsor these). Or, if a carnival was an every year event, go to the zoo or go door-to-door this year. If you don’t have surviving children wanting to celebrate, maybe you can leave your house dark and go to a movie and skip the holiday. In any event, planning ahead will help you get through a difficult time. by Tracy Stackhouse. BP/USA. Central Arkansas. reprinted from TCF/Seattle King County Chapter. Sept/Oct 2010. p 1. We Made It Through the Summer We made it through the summer; another season has passed. When I look back now, I did not think I had the courage to reach this point in time. The worst may not yet be over, But things seem better than yesterday. I’ve realized it’s all right to wish for you daily… and nightly… it’s my prerogative as your parent. I do not have to look forward to the seasons coming soon, but I will… because I know it’s what you would want me to do. Just please know, I still love you as though you were in our home. That love will never die. by Pam Duke. TCF/Dallas, TX. reprinted from TCF/Seattle King County Chapter. Sept/Oct 2010. p 1. Thanksgiving Thanksgiving was always an easy holiday. Unlike Christmas there wasn’t any pressure of giving just the right gift. Thanksgiving was a day of family gatherings and good food. Late that afternoon, we would return home full from over eating and satisfied that our family relationships were intact. It is also a day that we are reminded of all that we have to be thankful for. We are supposed to be thankful for our health, our families, our comfortable life, etc. The death of a child changes our perceptions. When the family gathers around the Thanksgiving dinner table, I now see a missing plate that no one else sees. (Of course, when I say no one, I exclude my wife and daughter) I am sure they see, hear and wish what I do. When nieces and nephews are laughing or crying, I hear a voice that no one else hears. When a family member recounts a story about something his child did last week, I wish I had a story to tell. We still have much to be thankful for, and we should remember that. But, now Thanksgiving Day has an additional observance for us who are bereaved. We must forgive others who cannot acknowledge the missing child, for whatever reasons. If family and friends cannot understand us, then we must try to understand them, especially on holidays. If we can exhibit tolerance, forgiveness and understanding on a day which we offer thanks, we can climb another step on our ladder to recovery. Hope you have a forgiving Thanksgiving. by Jim Hobbs. North Texas BP/USA. From “Where Are All the Butterfiles.” reprinted from TCF/Rim Country Chapter. Nov. 2012 .p 4. TCF Saskatoon Chapter Page 6 Sept - Oct - Nov 2014 Going Back, Going Forward by Mitch Carmody As a national writer and speaker on grief, I am mostly recognized for the death of my nine-year-old son, Kelly James Carmody, who died of a malignant brain tumor in 1987. That event changed my life forever, but many may not know of other familial losses I have incurred that were also instrumental in forming my life. Like the corner pieces of a puzzle, our losses define the foundation of our life portraits; they create our today. I have now realized in a recent epiphany that for all the years I knew my mother, she was a bereaved parent. I have lived with a bereaved mom my whole life. Things now seem more transparent, and I understand her better than I ever have before. I also am a bereaved parent now; I get it. I now look at my life and put all our family losses together and realize how much my mom lost. She had buried a young husband, her only sibling, three of her children, and three grandchildren, the first child having died before I was even born. Five years before I came along, my mother gave birth to her fifth child John, who was healthy and full-term, but the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck, strangling him at birth. John’s life was buried with his body and was never mentioned again; an unfortunate incident. You move on; you get over it; you can have other children. She did, giving birth in 1955 to two more children, a boy and girl set of twins; me and my sister Sandy. In 1969, my father died at age 49. A year later my mother’s only sister died, and in 1978 my older brother David died in a state mental institution. My mother continued to put each death behind her and move on with minimal tears and emotion. Dead is dead; you buck up, get over it, and get on with your life. In 1984 my twin sister, Sandy, was killed at age 29 with her two young sons in an auto accident. She had a set of 18-month-old boy/girl twins at home when she died. My mother reacted the same way; “What is done is done, son; we have to put it behind us.” I struggled to bury my grief away, and then less than two years later my son was diagnosed with cancer. I had to fight that fight to save my son, and put my sibling grief on hold for a long, long time. I was getting good at it. We were the twins, a curiosity and oddity being boy/girl twins, and some questionably intelligent people would seriously ask if we were identical. We were “the twins.” Of course we did not dress alike and we each had our own friends, but we were special unto ourselves. We also shared our friends and had big parties together with quite a mix of everyone. I was a straight-A student, and she was not. She got pregnant young and never graduated. I went to college. She was Goofus; I was Gallant (an old cartoon found in a kid’s magazine at the dentist’s office). She was a fundamentalist Christian, and I am a New-Age seeker of enlightenment. As kids, Mom would make Sandy a devil’s food chocolate cake; I would get the white angel food cake. We were so different in so many ways, but we were so much in touch in the wordless way that only twins would understand. I still feel the void of her physical presence in my life big-time and always will. I still miss her so much, but I have felt a connection with her on a spirit level through the years in signs and dreams, and I know she is around always; even her children—now adults— feel her presence, someone they cannot even remember in life. Grieving my son was the hardest challenge I have ever faced. His death was the straw that broke the camel’s back; I felt totaled, beaten, and apathetic. I wallowed in a wasteland of broken dreams and non-ending despair that lasted for almost ten years. I grieved like I was taught and put it behind me, until one day I walked by a photo of my son and I dropped to my knees in newfound agony, screaming loudly to the heavens, “I cannot live like this. I cannot pretend this did not happen!” I embraced the deaths of my son, my father, my brothers, my sister and her boys; I sucked it all in like a newborn taking its first breath. I started living and feeling my losses, grieving, mourning, and lamenting to all who would listen. I was finally grieving fully for the first time in my life, and for the first time in ten years I saw beauty in the sunrise again. I got my life back, and I did not have to let go to do so. I only had to simply embrace it, not erase it. It is never too late to process your loss. I could not fully work through the enormity of the death of my son before I processed all my other losses in a proactive way. So many times the losses experienced by young children are marginalized. Whether they lose a parent or a sibling, they are expected to get over it quickly and encouraged to be strong. We learn at a young age to hide our feelings, and it may take years before we process the total assault to our psyches. If you are a sibling who has experienced the death of a brother or sister at any age, recognize it, take it out of the closet, and talk about it with pride rather than shame or embarrassment. Also remember that your parents are changed forever and may still be falling apart inside; forgive them their shortcomings, for they are bereaved parents. Bring your sibling back to the dinner table; keep them in your life and in the conversation with your parents and your friends. Dead is not gone, and we do not have to let go; we do not get over loss, we learn to live with it, it is part of us. Knowing that, not only can we survive, we can thrive. Mitch Carmody is the author of Letters to My Son: A Journey Through Grief and the newly released 2nd edition, Turning Loss to Legacy. Mitch is currently a staff writer with Living with Loss magazine and has published many articles for a variety of national grief periodicals, newsletters, and Internet sites as well as appearing in many radio and television interviews. He is an accomplished artist and creator of the innovative. “20 Faces of Grief,” as well as his groundbreaking S.T.A.I.R.S model of grief staging. Mitch is well-known for his enduring workshop, “Whispers of Love, Signs from Our Children,” which has been a favorite conference presentation for over five years. He also performs interpretive sign language to many songs that he calls “Songs of Sorrow,” and weaves them throughout most of his presentations as well as a workshop titled by the same name. Reprinted from TCF/Kamloops Chapter. Spring 2013. pp 16-17. TCF Saskatoon Chapter Page 7 Sept - Oct - Nov 2014 Can I Pretend If I were to pretend that you never did exist, that I never felt you kick, that I never heard your heartbeat, that I never saw your image on an ultrasound screen... Would this empty aching feeling depart from my soul? Or am I destined to spend the remainder of days searching for little boys that are the age you should be right now, first months, then years or twenty three. It truly doesn't matter, for you are not here with me. I will savor the moments when I did feel you kick, when I did hear your heartbeat, when I saw your image moving on an ultrasound screen... and know this empty aching feeling will become a part of me. Just as your gentle spirit, lives on inside my soul. I must learn to live with peacefully, this is our destiny. No, I could never pretend that you never did exist... for you have shaped my very being, and I will always be your Mama... for the bond will not be broken, not by pain, not tears shed, nor sorrow. Our time will come...tomorrow. I know I can't pretend to break a bond as strong as this. My son, my son ~ although you only dwelled within and I had to say good-bye before I ever said hello... If this be your destiny that from earth you were truly meant to go... by Tammy Tobac. TCF/Pittsburgh PA. in memory of Tanner Jason Tobac born into the arms of Jesus 9/30/99. reprinted from TCF/Winnipeg Chapter. July/August 2011. p 19. Never apologize for being sensitive or emotional. Let this be a sign that you’ve got a big heart and aren’t afraid to let others see it. Showing your emotions is a sign of strength. by Brigitte Nicole. reprinted from TCF E-Newsletter. August 2014. Sometimes you can’t see the pain someone feels. by Lisa French. reprinted from TCF E-Newsletter. April 2014. Yours was no ordinary life, but a life well lived and well loved and your memory offers comfort, with the enduring love we keep alive in our hearts. We remember the happiest moments filled with joy and find solace in the many ways you have touched so many lives. In every heart you touched, in every life you changed, in every thought you inspired, your love lives on. Your voice still echoes, your life still inspires, your light still shines. . . . and always will. I am blessed to have been a part of your life. Chris Roy 1984 - 2005 by Patsy Gaul Loved you yesterday, Love you still, Always have, Always will. Mom and Dad TCF Saskatoon Chapter Page 8 Sept - Oct - Nov 2014 Grandparents Remembrance We are the grieving grandparents, the shepherds of our children and grandchildren’s lives. Our grief is two-fold and at times we feel powerless to help. We seek to comfort our children in the depths of their grief and yet we need the time and space to face our own broken hearts. We have been robbed of the special tender touch a grandparent shares with a grandchild, and we have lost a symbol of our immortality. As we walk by our child’s side, we both give and draw strength. We reach into their hearts to comfort them, and when they reach out to us in their distress, we begin the journey to heal together. We continue to be their guardians. We allow traditions to change to accommodate their loss. We support the new ones, which symbolize the small steps on their journey. It is in their healing that our hearts find comfort. by Susan Mackey TCF/Rutland VT. Shared by MaryAnn Dobbins. In loving memory of granddaughter Colleen Josephine Dobbins. reprinted from TCF/Rochester New York. May/June 2014. p 4. Grieving allows us to heal, to remember with love rather than pain. It is a sorting process. One by one you let go of the things that are gone and you mourn for them. One by one you take hold of the things that have become a part of who you are and build again. by Rachel Naomi Remen. reprinted from TCF E-newsletter. August 2014. Connections In the past two decades, modern technology has made great advancements toward keeping in touch with our friends, family & co-workers. An email address, a cell phone, facebook page; these are just a few of the ways we can connect with those we love and care about. And we love keeping those connections going in many other ways; meeting friends for dinner, shopping, traveling, going to a movie with friends, holiday celebrations with family. There are countless opportunities and ways for us to keep those we love in our lives. Even if we can’t see each other, we’ve got skype, pictures on facebook, texts on a cell phone, and photo websites. And no one thinks anything unusual about all these varied and unique ways of keeping connected with each other. Quite the contrary, consider the rising popularity of facebook, not just for friends, but for businesses and non-profit organizations. So if keeping connected is so popular and widely accepted, why are bereaved parents who need connections with their departed child, treated as unusual and told to “get over it”? It’s just as important for us to have a memorial website, wear our child’s clothes, have his/her photos displayed, listen to our child’s favorite music, read books about grief and bereavement, and yes, even continue to attend “those” support group meetings years later. September 2010 marks 13 years since James left us. We still miss him each and every day and not one day has gone by that he hasn’t been thought about and remembered. We will never “get over it” – no bereaved parent ever will, but we do “get through it”. I have James’ denim shirt that I love to wear when we go camping, his soccer team shirt hangs in my closet (I’ve actually worn it a couple times), and I sometimes listen to sad songs that bring me to tears, and I’m still involved with Compassionate Friends. His pictures are evident in our home and on my desk at work. I love to talk about James and value the times when friends ask questions about James. I don’t have the opportunity to create new memories with James, there won’t be any grandchildren to cherish, and I can’t buy him birthday or Christmas gifts anymore. But the connections I do have to James, whether it’s watching a sunset, seeing a butterfly or dolphin, watching a soccer game, making his favorite tuna casserole, or wearing his shirt, are very valuable and precious to me. I crave those connections because that is what’s left as a tangible way to keep James not just on my mind & in my heart, but right here beside me. As bereaved parents, don’t rob yourself of whatever connections you have with your child in spite of other wellmeaning friends/family/co-workers who tell you what you “should” do or how you “should” feel. We are moving on, we are carrying on with our lives, and yes, even though it’s sad to talk about our child, listen to his favorite songs, cook his favorite dishes, its all a part of who we are and where our life is right now. Our past with our child blends into the today that we have right here, at this moment. Our child has taught us that life is precious and often too short, and we have to make the most of each and every day. Each day includes ways we stay connected with our child and ways that we move forward to rediscover and reinvest in life, not just in memory of our child, but for our own healing process as well. Hopefully Compassionate Friends meetings are a part of your connection to your child. We all love talking about our kids, sharing our pictures and favorite stories. May you have hope and healing, may your memories help you to smile, may the light of your child’s life glow and brighten your world with love. And always…..stay connected with your child in whatever ways bring you comfort and blessings. by Meg Avery. In memory of my son, James Avery, reprinted from TCF/Lawrenceville. Autumn 2010. p 5. TCF Saskatoon Chapter Page 9 Sept - Oct - Nov 2014 Dear Brian Did you get the balloon I sent you today? Did you snatch it right out of the sky? The weather was good, the wind was just right I've never seen balloons go so high.... I could feel you tugging at your balloon before they said to let them go. When the time came, I released the string with the note that said "I love you so" I chose a purple balloon for you for I knew that's what you'd like As tears fell softly on my face I cried as the balloons took flight.... I pray that you got my message today attached to the purple balloon I love you always, forever.... and hope to see you soon. Joyce P. TCF, Fredricksburg Chapter, VT. Reprinted from TCF/St. Paul Minnesota Chapter. Aug/Sept/Oct 2010. p 5. “May your holidays be filled with reasons to be thankful. Having loved and having been loved is perhaps the most wondrous gift of all.” by Darcie Sims. Ph.D. reprinted from TCF/Greater Providence Area Chapter. Winter 2013. p 8. "Remember, grief is not something that you get over, it is something that you walk through. My shoes are worn and my feet hurt from this walk” Anonymous. reprinted from TCF/Potomac/Maryland Chapter. Dec 2008/Jan/2009. p 11. I can only bite off chunks of grief in bits and pieces. How else would I manage to get out of bed? by Desiré Aguirre. reprinted from TCF/Northeast/Rockville CT Chapter. March 2010. p 1. TCF—Saskatoon Chapter Annual Family Picnic and Balloon Release was held on June 22, 2014. We hope all who attended found the social gathering a time of friendship and the balloon release a special moment where you felt closer to your precious child/children. Three Doors The first door was the death. It slammed shut, was locked and sealed. It separated me from my loved one. It was a heavy, cold steel door. I can never open it. It leaves me alone outside. The second door swings open and beckons me to come inside. It leads to all my memories of our life together. At first, the door is wide open as I spend most of my time back inside reliving every precious moment-the sad memories, the bad memories, and thank goodness, the very special good memories. Gradually, I spend less time there, but often I return to the second door. Sometimes I find myself spending a lot of time there. Sometimes I chuckle and leave appreciative and happy for the experiences we shared. The second door welcoming me back in time. The more I heal, the more I walk away from the second door and toward the third door. The third door is stiff. It is hard to open. It opens slowly. It is scary inside when I first open it, but each time I try to open this door, it becomes easier to open. Inside, I find rays of hope. Beyond are many paths, many choices. As time passes, I feel more comfortable entering. Gradually, the third door opens wider and I find myself able to explore all that is within. Soon the paths take me in many directions. The door opens up my new life. by Pat Dickerman. Hacienda Heights Ca. reproduced from Bereaved Parents of the USA Newsletter. Summer 2004. Sometimes the light goes out, but is blown again into flame by an encounter by another human being. Each of us owes the deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this inner light. by Albert Schweitzer. reprinted from Bereaved Parents of the USA. Summer 2005. p 1. TCF Saskatoon Chapter Page 10 Sept - Oct - Nov 2014 Can it be Fall Again Already? Here we go again, that downward spiral into Fall that every bereaved parent dreads. For as sure as we turn the calendar page to October, here comes Halloween, followed by Thanksgiving and then (oh, NO!) Christmas and Hanukkah. As I contemplate my fourth fall without my child, I can tell that the pain will be less intense and come less often. This does not mean I love her less. It just means that no one can grieve as intensely as in the beginning for very long. Your body couldn’t sustain it. Take care of yourselves. Learn to be selfish if you need to be. Tell those closest to you what you need in order to get through this time. You will survive, whether you like it or not. We’re here if you need us, your Compassionate Friends. by Kathy McCormick. TCF/Lower Bucks County PA. reprinted from TCF/Seattle King County Chapter. Sept/Oct 2010. p 1. Open to Hope: Finding Hope After Loss The Open to Hope web radio program features grief experts, Dr. Gloria Horsley and Dr. Heidi Horsley, who discuss the many aspects of bereavement with a main focus on the death of a child and its effects on the family. The Open to Hope website includes articles, archived television and radio programs (and upcoming webcast schedule) and list of recommended books. For more information, visit http://www.opentohope.com/ TCF Saskatoon Chapter Page 11 Sept - Oct - Nov 2014 Telephone Friends One very good way to help ourselves is to talk about the loss, the hurt and the memories. If you are having a hard day, need reassurance or would like to share a precious memory, please call a telephone friend whose telephone number is listed below. They all know how it feels. They understand and care. Laura Ratzlaff 306-374-5880. Saskatoon SK. Daughter. Julia. 13. Reyes Syndrome Penny King 306-721-9117. [email protected] Grand Coulee SK. Daughter. Kaitlyn. Stillborn Lorna Conquergood 306-653-8838. Saskatoon SK. Son. Scott. Cord Accident Wendy Novakovski 306-931-0109. [email protected] Martensville SK. Daughter. Kelly. 20 years. Sudden Death Carol Shank 306-477-1136. [email protected] Saskatoon SK. Daughter. Karen. 32 years. Car Accident Donnelda Kavalench 306-320-1582. [email protected] North Battleford SK. Clancy. 29 years. Auto Accident Robert Roy 306-955-6099. [email protected] Saskatoon SK. Son. Chris. 21 years. Motor Vehicle Accident TCF Saskatoon Lending Library Newsletter Submissions The Compassionate Friends, Saskatoon Chapter, has a fairly large selection of books that may be helpful to you or your family. If you have read something from our library that has helped you, or have suggestions to add to our library, please let us know. Please return any library material you may have forgotten to return. If you have read a good book that you think may benefit others, brief book reviews would be appreciated to add to our newsletter. Please call or email the newsletter editor. We welcome any submissions of photos, poems, or short articles that you have written in memory of your precious child/children. Photos are returned. Please submit by mail to the newsletter editor at: TCF c/o Robert Roy, 24 Clark Crescent Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, S7H 3L9 or submit by e-mail to the newsletter editor Robert Roy at: Email: [email protected] Phone: 306-955-6099 Submission cut-off date for the Newsletter If You Wish To Find Out More About Our Meetings Please Call Roslyn Maxwell 306-382-7599 Mary Cunningham 306-934-2479 Barb Kachur 306-374-8862 Our TCF Saskatoon Chapter Lending Library is available for your use. If you have checked out a book, please return it when you are through so others may use it. We have many new members in recent months who may benefit from reading them. We gratefully acknowledge the support of Bill and Eleanor Edwards and the Edwards Family Centre in their continuing support of TCF Saskatoon. November 5, 2014 for Winter (Dec 2014-Jan-Feb 2015) February 5, 2015 for Spring (Mar-April-May 2015) May 5, 2015 for Summer (June-July-Aug 2015) August 5, 2015 for Fall (Sept-Oct-Nov 2015) Remember that this is your newsletter. Your written words and photos in memory of your precious child/children are given priority in the newsletter. Receive your TCF newsletter by Mail or by Email To keep our distribution list current, please email the newsletter editor at [email protected] if you wish to stop receiving the newsletter. You may also contact the newsletter editor at [email protected] if you would rather receive your newsletter in colour by email in PDF format rather than by mail. The most current newsletter may be found on our webpage and downloaded from there. Our newsletter by email and on our website are in color. The Saskatoon TCF Webpage address is: http://tcfsaskatoon.shawwebspace.ca/ oooo TCF Saskatoon Chapter Page 12 Sept - Oct - Nov 2014
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