Every love story reaches its ending. Most people want to have their own happy endings. But unfortunately, we didn’t reach that point. You said we’re better off apart. I believed the complete opposite of that. I know you wouldn’t care if I break into pieces. But I want to continue writing what I felt and what I feel. I hope you’ll get the chance to read this letter. I hope you’ll get the chance to read the Confessions of My Broken Heart. March 1 Dear Drew, It’s been 3 years since we first met right? Do you remember how we met? Well, in my case, every time that I try to remember that exact moment, it’s as if I was really re-living the moment. I was with my friend Sam when I first saw you. You were alone and I could sense loneliness in your eyes. The moment Sam left, I urged myself to go and talk to you. I made an irritating sound just to get your attention. You smiled at me and guess what? For the first time in my life, my heart started beating so fast. I guess my heart knew from the start that we’ll be sharing something special. We talked for hours and it’s as if there’ll be no tomorrow. I’m getting kind of sleepy already but seeing you smile and laugh makes me want to talk to you more. But I guess I gave up because I just found myself hopping off to dreamland. Okay. I have to admit this. When I entered dreamland, I dreamt of you. It may sound cheesy or what but that’s the truth! No lies! You know how much I hate lying, right? Anyways, I’m so sorry if I slept. I know I caused you a lot of trouble that day. First, I’m this complete stranger who kept on talking to you and kept on insisting to make you share your story. Second, I made you pay the bills for the food that I ate. Sorry. I’m really into eating. I hope I didn’t use up all your cash that time. Third, I slept while you’re talking. I know it’s kind of rude for me but I’m really, really sorry! Fourth, because I slept without even telling you where I live, you had to bring me all the way to your home. Oh well. I know there are more cons that happened that day compared to the pros but I’m happy that I got the chance to do all those with you. I’m happy because I got the chance to meet a person like you. And I know I’ll never get the chance to meet someone like you again. I love you Drew! Confessing my heart out, Michelle March 2 Dear Drew, I know after our first meeting, I just left without a word. No thank you. No sorry. No goodbye. I don’t know what has gotten into me that made me left your house and didn’t even bother to wake you up. Maybe because I was hoping that we’ll be meeting each other some other day and I don’t want to run out of words to say. Or maybe I was just too scared to know the consequences of me sleeping out on you. I remember the day when we met again. I was in school carrying about 5 to 6 books that time. I was looking on the ground and everything went fine until a person blocked my way. The books that I was carrying scattered across the floor. I screamed at that person and got really mad then I just heard some giggling all around me. When I looked up to know why the people around me are giggling, I saw you carrying a bouquet of roses and you were looking at me. I have to admit this. Instead of being so happy at that exact moment, I got mad at you. I hate being the center of attention. I hate it when my things get scattered. I hate it when people are laughing at me. I hate making mistakes. But guess what? You changed all those things. You made me realize that it’s good to be in the spotlight every once in a while. You made me realize that being super organized could be bad too especially if you don’t want people knowing your secrets at once. You made me realize that people don’t laugh at me just because I humiliated myself. It could also be because I said or did something funny, well in the positive way of course. Finally, you made me realize that mistakes could actually make me a better person. Thank you for bringing me out of my shell. Thank you for destroying the perfectionist and kill joy creature inside me. I know I wouldn’t have done those things if not because of you. So I’m really thankful that you entered my life. How I wish you’d stay with me forever. Confessing my heart out, Michelle March 3 Dear Drew, Isn’t it funny that we were actually schoolmates and we didn’t even know it until the bumping incident? Well, to be honest with you, I can’t forget the fact that we became instant celebrities in our school. You being a campus crush and me being sort of a wallflower became an official couple in less than 2 months. Yeah, I know that was quite fast but it’s just that it’s hard to stop my heart from beating because of you. Everyday seems like living in a fairytale. Love was literally in the air. You became my prince and you treated me as your princess. Every time we see each other, I always wish that I could stop the clock from ticking. I always wish that that moment could last forever. Unfortunately, there’s no such thing as forever. We went on searching for our own version of forever. We failed then we started again. We kept on going along a road for four long years without even knowing where it could be leading us. You told me you would never give up. We would never give up. What happened to your promises? Was it all just a lie? I kept on hanging on even if hurts already. Why did you have to keep on pushing me away? Am I not enough? Is my love not sufficient? What have I done wrong? Honestly, I can’t see the point why you had to go and leave me this way. You could have at least explained why you left me. Throwing all of the memories that we shared is not easy. I know it will take some time but I hope that one day, when we meet again, I’ll have the courage to say that I got over you. But I know it would be a very long way. I’m still at the starting point and I don’t even know how to start. Let me tell you this. I’m not writing this letter to bug your conscience. Instead, I’m writing this letter to let you know what I’m feeling. I’m not expecting you to reply to each and every letter that I send. Call me dumb. Call me stupid. Call me hopeless but that wouldn’t change a thing. I love you and I know that you know that. Please keep that in mind. Confessing my heart out, Michelle March 4 Dear Drew, Alright. I won’t be talking about our past already. Reminiscing each and every moment breaks my heart even more. I just want to let you know that living without you is like living in hell. Yeah, I’ve never been in hell but one thing’s for sure, both things hurt. Like I’ve said before, I’m not writing this to bug your conscience. I want to tell you the truth. The truth that I’m nothing without you. Yes. I’ve been existing for some time before you came into my life. I thought I could survive with just me, Sam and my family. But heck, I was wrong. You came into my life and changed everything. You came without prior notice. You made me fall and I’ve been a fool because I fell at once. Hey, I’m not saying that I regret falling for you. It’s just that it’s so hard to live alone again. I know I shouldn’t put the blame on anyone but please let me blame you this time. It’s your fault why I’m like this. Why did you even have to go into my life and make my heart beat for you? Why did you have to go and leave me? Why didn’t you even bother to return back my heart? It’s so hard to live without the person who holds my heart. It’s so hard to live without you. Could you please go back into my life? I’m not begging you to stay forever. It’s just that I want you to have a change of heart. I want you to be a part of my life once more. I want you to return my heart and make it beat for you. I’m not thinking of impossible things right? Please tell me that it’s still possible. Please tell me that we still have a chance. Don’t make it hard for me to continue living. I loved you and I love you still. Confessing my heart out, Michelle March 5 Dear Drew, I woke up today still wondering what went wrong. It’s been a month since we broke and still, I can’t let go. Yeah, I know I must move on and carry on with my life but it’s just so hard to do. Again, I have to blame you. Maybe if you didn’t spoil me when we were together, I could be a lot better now. Maybe if you let me be the person that I was even before we met, I’m still very much in control of my life today. Maybe if we didn’t hold on for too long, I found someone new who could make my life worth living. But those are all just maybes. They are not true and will never come true. Could you just please explain why you left me? Then could you please return my heart as well? Maybe after that I could be myself again. Maybe after that, I could learn how to love other people again. You know what? I hate crying already. I’m so tired of crying. I don’t want to cry myself to sleep again just because of this stupid heartbreak. I hate to admit this but until now, you’re still the only who could stop my tears from flowing. Is there any way for you to go back here and wipe my tears away? I don’t want to sound desperate but I just want to say the truth. Drew, I need you in my life. I need you so much. The moment you left, you broke the puzzle of my life. You’re the missing piece and I miss you so much. Confessing my heart out, Michelle March 26 Dear Drew, You know what? It’s kinda weird but I actually dreamt of you. I don’t why but that dream was kind of creepy. You were there, begging for forgiveness, asking for another chance. That’s just like so stupid right? I mean come on! You were so sure when you broke up with me. Gosh. I don’t know what to say. Anyways, I guess I’ll be trying to go back to the normal me. If you would notice, I wasn’t able to write you a letter for 20 consecutive days already. I needed a makeover so bad. I can’t believe that I wasted more than a month crying over a boy who, maybe, dumped me for another girl. Hey. Don’t get me wrong here but I swear, I really grieved over my loss but I guess grieving is over or maybe I’m on way there. I’ll be going back to my business again. Remember the restaurant/bar that I built 3 years ago? I left that business for a year right? Gee. Thanks to you I had to leave that. Pssh. Well, now, I’ll be going back there. I’ll be the hands-on manager again. And guess what? My band is going to sing there again. Hey. I’m not telling you this so that you and your stupid friends would go there. I’m just telling you that finally, I’m getting the chance to do what I want to. That finally, I’m almost free from all the pain and sorrow that I felt before. PS. You could still go to my restaurant/bar. But unlike before, you’ll be paying for everything now. Confessing my heart out, Michelle March 28 Dear Drew, Another weird thing happened. I think I saw you at my restaurant yesterday. I was singing One Last Cry then out of the blue I think I saw you. Tell me. It’s not you right? I mean, I think I saw you with your friends and their girlfriends last night and as far as I can remember, their girlfriends hate my place. Anyways, back to the song. I was singing One Last Cry and guess what? That was intended for you. So if you’re really there last night, I hope you got my message. I cried last night for the last time and now, I’m feeling a lot better. (: I’ve been meaning to tell you this if ever we meet again and I guess this is the right time. I think I’m over you already. So sorry for all those uber sad letters. Do whatever you want to do with those. I don’t give a damn anymore. Maybe you’ll be asking why I am still sending you letters. The answer is simple. I just want you to know what I’ve been through and what I’ll be going through. I won’t be able to do other stuff if you didn’t let me go. So maybe it could be a sign of gratitude. (: By the way, are you with your sister last night? I think I saw her too. Send my regards to her, alright? Oh, another thing. I think I’m leaving the country. It’s not for good, yet, but I’ll be gone for months, maybe years. I really don’t know. I’ll be bringing all the happy memories that we had as well as those with my family and friends. I think this would be the best for all of us. Even if we didn’t have the proper closure that most people need, I think that time and space could heal all the wounds that our relationship did. I wish you all the best in life. Hope you’ll wish the same thing for me. I love you, my friend. Confessing my heart out, Michelle March 29 Dear Drew, It’s official. I’ll be leaving the country. I’ll go out there and try to find myself. I think I lost myself when we were in the midst of our relationship. But don’t worry. It’s not your fault. This time, it’s my fault. Maybe I gave too much that’s why I lost myself and my battle to your heart as well. Anyways, I’ll be having a little party at my place. I hope you could come. You may ask why. I’ll only tell you one thing. When I leave, I’m not leaving alone for I’ll be bringing all of our happy memories together as well as those with my family and other friends. Honestly, the bruises that you brought to my heart are still there. It would really take a while before all of those would heal. Maybe that’s why I’m going to give myself a chance to be alone. To be able to explore different places. To be able to experience different things. My bandmates are right. Even if you left, you’ll always be a part of my life and that would never change. It’s our status that changed. But we would never change. We’re still here. Alive and making things possible. As much as I want to, I don’t want you to know where I’ll be going. Don’t bother asking me the reason why. I don’t know as well. But I promised myself that I’ll keep you posted about what’s happening in my life so I really thought of a way on how my letters would reach you without you knowing where I am. Guess what? I already found a way. But that I won’t be telling you. =P Drew, it’s been nice knowing you. I really wish that there would come a time when we could look at each other in the eyes and say that we’ve both moved on. That we’re both happy where we are right now and that we didn’t regret meeting and loving each other. I know that day would come. I just don’t know when. But surely, I’ll wait for it. I guess this is it. This would be my last letter from this country for now. Hope to see you at my party. Confessing my heart out, Michelle April 2 Dear Drew, Did you just give me an April fool’s joke yesterday? I swear I really saw you but why didn’t you even bother to talk to me right before I leave? It just sucks because everytime I see you, you would kiss the girl you’re with. Couldn’t you just pretend to be happy for me and be a decent friend even just for a day? You know what, I hate to say this but with what you’ve done yesterday, you just proved to me that you’re a jerk. I hate you so much! I know I shouldn’t be reacting like this but what the hell were you thinking huh? I told you I wanted to bring happy memories. I didn’t tell you to bring me a nightmare! Anyways, I wanted to tell you that I’ll be staying in wherever country that I’ll be going for a year. That’s just the minimum though. So I really don’t know when I’ll be back so that I could slap your face and hit you in your balls for being such a jerk. Okay. I’m just kidding. I won’t slap or hit you. Oh wait. Maybe I’ll slap you. Ugh. Never mind. I’ll think about it first so wait for it alright? =P BTW, if you’re actually listening yesterday, today’s my flight. So sorry for this short letter. I’m just writing this in the airport while waiting for my flight. I hope you’d take care of yourself. Please if you’re really planning to have a new girlfriend, please find a decent one. It hurts my ego everytime I see you lip-locking with a slut looking girl. Oops. This is it. I need to board already. I wish you all the best! See you soon. Confessing my heart out, Michelle April 4 Dear Drew, Hey. I told you I’ll find a way to send you my letters without you knowing where I am right? Well, here it is. It’s still my penmanship but you’ll never know my address. Thanks to someone I know back there. =P Anyways, I just want to let you know that I arrived safely here. So don’t worry. Wait. Do you even worry about me? Nah. I don’t think so. I have my own place here and I love every bit of it. The weather is fine and it doesn’t kill me to death. I enjoy being here. How I wish you were here as well but obviously, you can’t be here. Since I’m enjoying myself here. I’ve decided. You’ll be the first person to know this so you’re so privileged. I’m staying here for maybe 2 to 3 years. I extended my visa already. I’m really sure about this. I have never been so sure in my life until now. I know now what I want to do. I want to stay here and start from scratch. I want to find my real passion. I want to find the real me. I’m getting there one step at a time but I know I have enough time to discover all the possibilities. I don’t want to bore and make you envious about all the stuff that I find here awesome so sorry for this very short letter. I think this would be the shortest one that I’ll be sending you. Oh well, that’s life. There’s always a first. Take care alright? Confessing my heart out, Michelle April 2 Dear Drew, Wow. It’s been a year since I left the country. How have you been? I know I have lots of connection out there but don’t expect me to use them to check up on you. I don’t contact them. I didn’t contact anyone for the past year. Why? I don’t know either. I just wrote this letter to give you this news. I opened my own shop in here. I realized that my love for fashion has been kept in the back of my heart for a long time and I found the inspiration to show the people in here what I got. Guess what? They love my designs! I’m just so happy. Are you happy for me as well? Well, besides the shop that I built, I applied as a singer in a restaurant here. Yeah. They don’t pay that much but I love doing it and the tips are overflowing. Haha. I perform there every night and the people love me and my voice. I didn’t see this coming but somebody asked me to have a record deal with their recording company. Unfortunately, I had to say no. Yeah. I may be stupid. I let the chance pass by. But I travelled all the way here to discover myself and enjoy life. I even told you I don’t want you to find me. How am I supposed to continue all of this if all of you would find where I am just because of that record deal? I’m reaching my dreams already. Only one thing is missing. Maybe some people don’t need it but I think I do. Somebody asked me if he could court me. I didn’t know what to say. I mean, it’s been a very long time since someone asked me this question. Tell me. What am I supposed to do? My mind and my heart are kind of confused already. BTW, I think I’m coming home soon. Confessing my heart out, Michelle April 1 Dear Drew, It’s official. I’m coming home really soon. I can’t wait to see my family and my friends again. Do you think it would be possible if we could talk in person already? I mean it’s been 2 years already. I won’t tell anyone when I’ll be coming back. I want it to be a surprise. So don’t tell anyone that I decided to go home already alright? Haha. If you’re going to ask me what I would do to my business, I have an answer already. I made a lot of sketches already and by the time that I come home, I’ll just be sending the sketches to the other designers there. I believe the staff that I have here and I know that they could succeed even without my supervision so yeah. I’ll leave the business to them. I bought something for you by the way. I don’t know if you’ll like it but when I saw it I remembered you at once. Silly me. I could still remember all the things that happened between us even if 2 years have passed and you didn’t bother to answer even 1 letter that I sent. But please. Don’t ever think that I still have feelings for you. I know you’re such a jerk. I’m going to say yes to the person who’s been courting me already so yeah. I guess this is it. I really moved on and my heart is as good as new already. Thanks for all the memories Drew. I would never forget those. You made my life so special. You’ll always have a special spot in my heart. But this time, I have to give the throne to someone else. I hope you found your happiness too. I’ve been praying so hard that someone would come along your way and make you happier than you’ve ever been when we were together. I really hope that my wish came true. Don’t bother asking me why I wished that. My only answer would be I still care about you and nothing’s going to change that, ever. Remember that okay? Start counting the days. We’ll see each other again. Thank you Drew. Thank you my friend. Confessing my heart out, Michelle April 10 Dear Drew, I’m back. Sorry if I told you just now. It’s been 3 days since I’ve been here in the country. It’s just that I’ve been so busy with stuff and all. Anyways, I want to invite you to another party. It would be on the 15th. Please bring your sister with you. I miss her so bad already. This is just a private party so you’re privileged because I invited you. =P By the way. Don’t tell anyone but that would be the day when I would say yes to Brad. Remember him? He’s the guitarist of my band. Yeah. I said I didn’t contact anyone here. I lied. Sorry. We’ve been talking a lot and he even followed me to Singapore just to court me. Yeah. I just went to Singapore. I didn’t want to travel that far. And thanks to his brother because I got the chance to send you the letters without you knowing that I’m just in Singapore. Sorry for all the trouble that I caused you. I know I should have kept all these letters to myself but it’s just that I can’t help it. I want you to know what I felt and what I’m feeling. Maybe that’s a reason why I moved on as well. Because I got the chance to confess what my heart really felt. Thank you for everything. This would be the last letter that I’ll be sending you. So don’t worry. I won’t bother you anymore. Friends? This is not the end of the line for us. Maybe as lovers but never as friends. Good luck and God bless. Stay happy. Confessing my heart out, Michelle April 14 Dearest Michelle, First of all I want to say sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for breaking your heart. I’m sorry for not answering your letters. There are a lot of things that are running through my mind after our break up. I didn’t know if I made the right decision. I didn’t know if I really should have let you go. You’ve been a special part of my life. Nothing or no one could change that fact. The first time we met, I knew that you’d be special. You made my heart skip a beat. You make my knees weak. Yeah. That may sound so gay but that’s the truth. No one made me feel that way. No one except you. I know I made a lot of promises and I never got the chance to fulfill all of those. Stupid me. I broke your heart. I never should have done those promises if I knew we’d end up this way. Would you believe me if I told you that letting you go was the biggest mistake that I did in my life? I don’t know but my heart tells me so. It hurts so much that sometimes, I can’t stand the fact that you even left the country just to move on. Sorry for being a jerk. I never should have done things that could hurt you. Ever since you told me that you’d go back to singing, I went to your restaurant every night. I bring different girls just to hurt you more so that you’d realize that I’m not worthy of the love that you’ve been giving me. I even went to your despedida party. I brought another girl again and everytime that you look at our direction, I would kiss her so that you’d be more turned off. But guess what? I realized that I shouldn’t have done those stupid things. The more I do those things, the more you move on. The more I lose you. Sorry for confusing you right now. I know you’d say yes to Brad tomorrow but I think I have to say this. I was pushing you away because I think I’m dying. Remember when I went to the hospital one time? I told you I’ll be visiting my friend who’s a doctor. I lied. I really had to undergo a series of tests. After which, they confirmed that I have leukemia. Michelle it’s not true that I left you because I found someone new. How I wish I could stay with you forever but as they say, forever’s just a word. There would come a time when we have to say goodbye. I guess mine is getting sooner and sooner by the moment. Everytime you indicate the word friend on your letters, it crushes my heart. I wanted to have you until the day that I die. But I guess that’s not possible anymore. You found your new source of happiness. I found none. I never looked for someone new. I know my heart would beat for only one person and that’s you. Please forgive me for all the heartaches that I’ve brought into your life. I didn’t want to do it but I had to. I don’t want to hurt you more when my time comes. Michelle, I loved you and I love you still. I’ll continue loving you up to my last breath. Please remember that. Sorry but I can’t come to your party. It will just break my heart. But expect Desiree to be there. Please don’t throw all of our memories away. Keep them in your heart. I’ll be doing the same. Maybe we’re not meant to be in this lifetime but I’m hoping that in the next one, it would be you and me until the very end. I’m hoping that we would really find our own forever there. How I wish that time would come sooner. Congratulations for your accomplishments. Congratulations for finally moving on. I wish you all the best. Take care of yourself. But rest assured, I’ll be guiding you all the way. I love you sweetheart. Loving you with all of my heart, Drew There are some things that are better left unsaid. But there are some things that we need to tell the people that are close to our hearts so that they’ll know when to hang on and when to let go. Love may keep a lot of people alive and happy but it’s the trust that serves as strength of all sorts of relationships. A love without trust is useless and worthless. What happened between Drew and Michelle may not be true but there are couples out there who might be experiencing this kind of scenario. No one except God knows when our time will be. Give yourselves a chance to love and to be hurt. It’s a part of life that we can’t escape. “God is the only one who can do everything. We humans do what we’re capable of.” – 200 Pounds Beauty ♥Rachelle (raice03)