1. family and parenting
2. children

PRAYING TOGETHER
Some ideas for praying together at home, during the
day and in the workplace
Compiled by Jane Tibbs, Children’s Adviser for the Diocese of Bath and Wells
PRAYING WITH CHILDREN AND THE FAMILY
Many of us were brought up with family prayers at the breakfast table, graces before
meals, and bedtime prayers. However, with the pressures of getting off to work and
school and family meals becoming rare occasions, prayer said together as a family is a
rarity.
Prayer needs to be re-established at home, as a normal, domestic activity.
Participating in fun activities related to the church’s year, and in that context offering
straightforward prayers, is a vital way of helping to root children in God’s time.
We need to talk about God with children.
When we think of prayer, we often think of lots of complicated words and church
services, of being very still and silent. But for small children, who can only be still for
a very short time, prayer – searching for God – will be learnt as much in what they
do as in what they say. We all learn vest by experience, and this is particularly true
for young children.
Parents play an important role in nurturing the spiritual life of their children. As
parents, we are often amazed at the depth of our children’s understanding and the
wisdom of their comments and questions about God. Here are some suggestions
about ways to help our children grow in the knowledge and love of God through
prayer
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Begin to grow yourself in patterns of prayer. Give thanks daily for God’s many
gifts. As you think about each of your children, ask God to bless them
Give thanks to God at mealtimes. Teach your children to say or sing together a
simple grace. Invite the children to say “thank you” in their own way by making
up their own grace. Children may take turns praying at meals
At bedtime, talk with your child about the day. What good things happened
today? Say “thank you” for them. Thank God for things that you have done well.
Is there anything you wish you hadn’t done? Can you think of a better way to do
it next time? Say “I’m sorry”. Is there someone we know who needs God’s help?
Remember by name family and friends. These do not have to be formal prayers,
but part of the conversation with God
Pray spontaneously during the day. Give thanks to God for rain puddles and
snow angels and a summer day at the beach. Your children are learning a habit of
thankfulness for the many gifts God gives
Sing a song or dance a response
Read a Bible story
Teach your child some of the great prayers of the church
Help your child participate in public worship
PRAYING AT HOME
For beginners in prayer it is very useful to build the first few attempts around the
existing rhythms of life. For most Christians this will be centred in the home. This is
where we spend most of our lives and this is where we are most likely to
experience some rhythm in our life, even if it is only the rhythm of sleeping and
waking. The home is also a place where it is most likely that we can find space where
we are comfortable and available.
In the Jewish roots of Christianity the home was the liturgical centre of the faith. To
this day much of the religious observance of Jewish faith takes place in the home.
This was the tradition that Jesus knew, and it is striking in the gospels how often he
goes to people’s homes. His visits to Matthew (Matthew 9: 10) and Zacchaeus (Luke
19: 5-9) have a transforming effect. They also enrage his opponents. But Jesus desires
to be with his people where they are: he wants to make our homes his home (see
John 14: 23).
The early Church quite naturally picked up on this tradition and much of their
worship was in each other’s homes. Indeed, some of the earliest Christian
communities were known by the names of the owners of the homes in which they
met.
There are several reasons for this. First, the early Church suffered great persecution
and in many places needed to be a secret society. The much-loved fish symbol for
the Christian faith originates from this time. The fish was the secret Christian sign.
The first Christians worshipped in the synagogue when they could, but after the
division from Judaism this was not possible. When persecution ended church
buildings soon grew up.
Secondly, the early Church was a mission church. It was constantly on the move.
When Jesus sent out his disciples he told them to set up base in the home of a man
of peace who would welcome them (Luke 10: 6). This pattern repeated itself in all
the missionary endeavours of the first Christians as they took the gospel across the
known world.
Thirdly, and most importantly, the early Church lived and breathed the radical belief
that worship of the one true God only happens in and through Jesus. It was for
proclaiming this truth that Stephen, the first Christian martyr, was stoned to death.
He said that “the Most High does not live in a house that human hands have
built"”(Acts 6: 48). Jesus is our place of worship and our way to God, not a building
or a liturgy. We need our church buildings and we need our liturgies, but they are
not the essence of our faith.
In our own day we have lost the balance between worshipping in church and
worshipping at home. We need to sanctify our homes. We need to let them become
cells of the church, places where we are nourished, and also places of witness and
service. This will happen when we restore prayer to our life at home.
Creating a place of prayer
A simple way of beginning this process is to proclaim the lordship of Jesus in your
home by putting a cross on the wall, or another Christian symbol, such as a fish. This
will not only remind you of your faith, it will be an unassuming witness to everyone
who visits your home.
In some Christian traditions – particularly in the East, and among Afro-Caribbean
Christians – great care is taken over creating a place of prayer in the home. This can
be particularly helpful for children, but is something which would benefit every
Christian home. It need not be elaborate. A cross, a candle, an open Bible: these
things are enough to furnish a corner of a room, or an empty shelf. They provide a
focus for prayer at home.
Blessing our homes
It would also be good if we could revive the tradition of prayers of blessing for our
homes. This is an especially good thing to do when we move into a new home, but
there is no reason why it cannot be done at any time. It could even be an annual
event.
Once again this sort of service can be as simple or as complicated as you want it to
be. It can involve a priest or minister visiting your home and praying with you, or it
can be something you do on your own.
It can be great fun! Here are some prayers which could be used for blessing your
home:
Blessed are you, Lord God,
King of all creation:
Through your goodness you have given this house to be our home.
Let your peace remain with us always.
Let all who come here to share our life
Find generosity, tranquillity and happiness;
May they depart enriched by the joy of Christian living.
Visit this house, O Lord, we pray,
Drive far from it all the snares of the enemy;
May your holy angels dwell with us
And guard us in peace
And may your blessing always be upon us;
Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Lord Jesus Christ, who taught your apostles to bless each home they entered with
the words, “Peace be to this house”: we ask your blessing on our home. Let your
peace rest upon us; keep us in your abiding love; and be with us in our going out and
in our coming in, from this time forth and for evermore. Amen.
PRAYING THROUGH THE DAY
Wouldn’t it be lovely if life had the same stop, fast forward, rewind and pause
facilities as a video recorder? Unfortunately, it is not like this except in prayer.
Prayer fast forwards us to God. The Christian life has a kind of “already here” and
“not quite yet” feel about it. Through Jesus we already enjoy the fullness of life with
God, but we are also awaiting that fullness when we shall see God face to face. It is a
bit like experiencing the end of the journey in the middle. In this sense prayer is a
foretaste of the banquet that awaits us in heaven.
Prayer allows us to rewind. We can be forgiven for the things that have gone wrong;
we can always start again with God. In prayer we can be reconciled to the past. We
can be forgiven our sins; our memories can be healed; broken relationships can be
restored. We can learn to face the future because we need not be prisoners of the
past. It is prayer for healing and forgiveness which sets us free.
Prayer allows us to stop and pause. Finding time and space to pause is the first
practical foundation to put in place when we are trying to build a life of prayer. For
most of us this need not be about creating special times, though this is clearly a good
thing to do, but about building prayer into what we are already doing. We need to
analyse the existing rhythms of our daily life and see where we can most effectively
press the pause button.
Greeting the day
This is a lovely and fairly easy way to begin praying. As the alarm goes off, or as the
first small child jumps on your stomach, or as you stare at yourself in the mirror, or
open the curtains, or put the kettle on, or jump in the shower, or pick up the
newspaper, or let out the dog, pause and pray. Most of us have some sort of getting
up ritual. There are things we do nearly every day at nearly always the same time.
Identify what your little routine is, and then decide when you are going to press the
pause button of life and give thanks to God for another new day and for the strength
you need to get through it. This prayer need only take a few seconds. You can use
your own words, or you could memorise and say the same set prayer each day.
For example:
O Lord, enable us this day to reveal your glory in all we think and say and do; that
your presence may bless and strengthen us all the day long, through Jesus Christ our
Lord. Amen.
Lord, the smile of the dawn lights up the sky.
May the smile of your face light up our day.
Jesus, be close to me and those I love through the twists and turns of today and be
with me at the day’s end. Amen.
Travelling
Many of us spend a lot of time each day travelling. The constant bustle and rush of
modern life carries us from car to train to bus and back again. But travelling can also
mean waiting – at bus stops, at stations, and most irritating of all in long queues of
jammed traffic. For many of us it is travelling which shapes the rhythm of our day:
journey to work, picking up children, shopping.
If there is daily routine to the journeys we make then this is another good
opportunity for prayer. In particular this might be the time for intercession. We can
hardly read set prayers while driving the car, though this could be done on a train
journey, but we could use the time in the car to pray for family and friends and for
all sorts of other needs.
So much of the time spent travelling is dead time. Prayer – even if it’s only for a few
minutes – brings the time to life and gives the travelling another dimension of
purpose.
Travelling can also be very stressful and very dangerous. To pray while driving might
be the best cure for road rage. Here is a prayer for the beginning of a journey:
May our Lord Jesus Christ go before us to guide us;
Stand behind us to give us strength;
And watch over us to protect us as we travel. Amen.
FAMOUS PRAYERS
There are probably as many ways to pray as there are people of faith! Sometimes it
is helpful just to be still and aware of God with us, sometimes it is helpful to pray
with words. Some prayers we read and some we know off by heart because we have
heard others say them so many times. In the past, in a world where few people
could read, learning prayers off by heart was really important.
Here are a few prayers which people have known and used for centuries, which have
passed the test of time and still help us to be close to God today. Some were
written by famous people. No one knows where others came from.
The prayer of St Francis
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is discord, union;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy;
For your mercy and for your truth’s sake. Amen.
We praise you, O Christ,
And we bless you,
Because by your holy cross
You have redeemed the world. Amen.
Thou who hast given so much to me,
Give one thing more,
A grateful heart,
For Christ’s sake. Amen.
George Herbert (1593 – 1632)
Christ has no body now on earth but yours,
No hands but yours, no feet but yours;
Yours are the eyes through which to look
At Christ’s compassion to the world,
Yours are the feet
With which he is to go about doing good,
And yours are the hands
With which he is to bless us now. Amen.
St Teresa of Avila (1515 – 1582)
O Lord, thou knowest how busy I must be this day;
If I forget thee, do not thou forget me;
For Christ’s sake. Amen.
General Lord Astley at the Battle of Edge Hill
O Lord, let us not live to be useless,
For Christ’s sake. Amen.
John Wesley (1703 – 1791)
Teach us, good Lord, to serve thee as thou deservest.
To give and not to count the cost;
To fight and not to heed the wounds;
To toil and not to seek for rest;
To labour and not to ask for any reward
Save that of knowing that we do thy will. Amen.
Ignatious Loyola (1491 – 1556)
Thanks be to thee,
O Lord Jesus Christ,
For all the benefits which thou hast won for us,
For all the pains and insults which thou hast borne for us.
O most merciful Redeemer,
Friend and Brother,
May we know thee more clearly,
Love thee more dearly,
And follow thee more nearly,
Day by day. Amen.
St Richard of Chichester (1197 – 1253)
BEING STILL
In all the rush and noise of our busy lives, it is easy never to be still and quiet. We
hear what other people think from the TV and the radio, from discs and tapes and
videos, but often we don’t have time even to think about or listen to God. Christians
have always known that one way to be aware of God, to be close to God, is in being
still, in silence. Even tiny children can do this for a few minutes and it can be a great
experience to try it out.
If it’s possible, choose a time when you can be just one child and one grown-up
together. Choose a time when you can be sure that there won’t be lots of
interruptions. Find a place to sit down together and agree that you are both going to
be very still and completely silent for an agreed time. You might like to start with
being still for half a minute, then a minute …..
So sit together and agree to be still. Close your eyes together (though you may need
to promise to keep an eye on the watch too!) and, keeping close together, be silent.
When sufficient time has passed, open your eyes and talk about how it was in the
silence
 How was the silence for you?
 What did you hear?
 What did you smell?
 What did you feel?
 What did you imagine?
Share together what you found.
Drop thy still dews of quietness
Till all our strivings cease;
Take from our souls the strain and stress
And let our ordered lives confess
The beauty of thy peace. Amen.
John Greenleaf Whittier (1807 – 92)
SAYING GRACE
From earliest times, people have thanked God for their food and for all that kept
them alive. In our lives today, it is all to easy to take every day things for granted. To
stop and say thank you for them helps us to be aware of the very basics of survival,
and that without God’s love and generosity, we should not be. When we do this, we
in turn become much more closely aware of the needs of others and of those who
have so little, and we learn to become more generous people. So before you eat, at
least sometimes, stop. And say THANK YOU.
Here is a selection of short thank-you prayers to be said before eating. Most can be
said by anyone and it is important that you share round the responsibility – or
choose one prayer to say all together often. Or choose one to sing!
For these and all God’s gifts, may his name be praised. Amen.
Blessed are you, Lord our God, King of the universe,
Who feeds the whole world through his goodness. Amen.
Praise God, from whom all blessings flow,
Praise him, all creatures, here below.
Praise him above, ye heavenly host.
Praise father, Son and Holy Ghost. Amen.
God bless this bunch
As they munch their lunch. Amen.
For good food and good friends
We thank you, Lord. Amen.
This happy meal will happier be,
If we, O Lord, remember thee. Amen.
For health and strength and daily food,
We praise your name, O Lord. Amen.
Amen.
Lord for this plateful,
We are truly grateful.
Morning (Noontide, Evening) is here, the board is spread,
Thanks be to God, who gives us bread. Amen.
Thank you God, for giving us food.
Thank you God for giving us food.
We’re so grateful, for every plateful.
Thank you God for giving us food.
Sung to the Superman theme
If you are having visitors children might like to make little cards with the words of a
grace on them so that everyone can join together.
THE LORD’S PRAYER
Jesus’ disciples asked him to teach them to pray and he gave them the prayer we
have come to know as the Lord’s prayer. It is said by Christians throughout the
world, and of course, in many different languages. It is a prayer that all Christian
people should know. You can read it in Matthew 6:5-13 and Luke 11: 2-4.
Jesus, of course, taught it to his disciples in their own language and this has been
translated into English in various ways at various times. Here are a modern and
traditional version.
Our Father in heaven
Hallowed be your Name,
Your kingdom come,
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our sins
As we forgive those who sin against us.
Save us from the time of trial
And deliver us from evil.
For the kingdom, the power and the glory are yours,
Now and forever. Amen.
Our Father, which art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy name;
Thy kingdom come,
They will be done
In earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive them that trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
The power, and the glory,
For ever and ever. Amen.
BEDTIME PRAYERS
Just before bed can be the best time of the day for regular prayer together. It is nice
to create a place for bedtime prayers. Children respond well to candles so it might
help to light a candle and make use of a cross as a focal point and perhaps have some
seasonal pictures to talk about.
Story telling is often part of the bedtime ritual so reading a Bible story fits easily into
bedtime prayer time.
Encourage the children to think through what has happened during the day and chip
in with your own reflections. Let this lead naturally into prayers of thanksgiving and
intercession.
This is also an opportunity to sing a song and it doesn’t matter whether it is a
Christian song or not.
Some prayers to use at bedtime
Glory to thee, my God, this night,
For all the blessings of the light.
Keep me, O keep me, King of kings
Beneath thy own almighty wings. Amen.
Thomas Ken (1637 – 1711)
Dear Jesus, please be with me
From now until the end.
Hold my hand and guide my feet
And be my special friend. Amen
From If I’d been born in Bethlehem by Joan Gale Thomas
Save us, O Lord, while waking,
And guard us while sleeping.
That awake we may watch with Christ
And asleep we may rest in peace. Amen.
God in the night
God at my right
God all the day
God with me stay
God in my heart
Never depart
God with thy might
Keep us in light
Through this dark night.
David Adam
Keep us safe tonight Lord:
May your angels watch over us.
And tomorrow, help us to be angels,
Bringing your love to anyone who needs help. Amen.
PLANNING PRAYER WITH CHILDREN
When praying with children aim to:
 Keep to small groups, with the smallest range of age possible, it helps to
personalise the experience and offers greater scope
 Keep it short, keep it moving, children’s attention span for any one activity lasts
approximately one minute per year of the child’s age – so five year olds can
reasonably be expected to actively participate in worship for about five minutes;
ten year olds, ten minutes
 Keep it simple and uncluttered
 Start with something that draws everyone together, then move to a deeper
understanding of the theme and conclude with a response
 Create a place for prayer and worship, even if it’s only a table/cupboard top,
corner or under the stairs
Involve children in planning the worship
Prepare 5 boxes
 In one put a selection of readings
 In box two put a selection of songs, pieces of music
 In box three, a selection of activities such as giving, receiving, making chains,
mime, dancing – write the activity on a separate card
 In box four, a selection of suggested visual aids such as statues, pictures,
photographs, flowers – write the suggestion on a separate card
 In box five, a selection of prayers, traditional and children’s own
Invite a group of children to
 Choose a theme for prayer
 Choose one card only from three boxes
 Plan an act of worship
If they repeat the same activity, remove that card for a while.
PRAYING WITH TEENAGERS
Teenagers are interested in God. Teenagers are interested in spirituality. Teenagers
may rebel against the status quo of church and liturgy – and who could blame them?!
– but this does not mean they have abandoned faith. On the contrary, this is a time
of life, unlike any other, when people ask the big questions of life. Each year
thousands of teenagers flock to Taize in France. They go there to pray and to
experience Christian community. What teenagers need are resources to support
them in their prayer, and ways of praying together, and with others, that can support
the questioning character of their spirituality.
Teenagers are inspired by the example of others. They will want to see what the
Christian faith means in action, not in theory. Books and videos about the lives of
those who have tried to live out the gospel will inspire them to see the relevance of
the Christian faith, and will tap into their own growing hunger for justice.
Praying with teenagers in the home
The teenage years are marked by a longing for independence. If there has been a
pattern of praying together in the family there is no reason why it should not
continue, but it might be the case that teenagers will want to opt out. This is normal.
If family prayers do continue they will have to change to take account of the changing
temperament of teenagers. If you have never prayed as a family and you have
teenage children then introducing the idea of praying together will need to be done
with great sensitivity. But it is not too late. Teenagers like and deserve to be treated
in an adult way, and so long as they are included in all the discussion and planning
there is no reason why prayer should not begin. But adults and teenagers praying
together in the family is a tricky area, so please do not feel guilty if it has never
happened in your family.
If you are planning to pray together, once a week might be realistic.
Silence
Light a candle or burn some incense. Teenagers respond well to atmosphere. Just
have some time to be still and to think.
Recollection
This is an opportunity – either silently or aloud – to remember good things that have
happened during the week and give thanks, or bad things and be sorry.
Scripture
The gospel reading set for the Sunday of that week would be a good starting point.
The Youth Bible, and other Bibles, also suggest themes.
Intercession
It is important for these to be relevant to the teenager’s own life and concerns, but
also to reflect the needs of the world. Each person can voice a prayer in turn, or
candles can be lit representing different things, or set prayers can be read out.
Helping teenagers to pray together
Young people are searching for identity. With this can go self-consciousness,
embarrassment, intolerance and often rebellion. Therefore, however good the
relationship is between parent and teenager, and however stimulating and relevant
the prayer, many young people will still not want to pray at home.
So let them know that prayer is going on and they are welcome to join if they want
to. Encourage youth groups connected with the church to have prayer on their
agenda.
While young people may be finding prayer at home impossible, and prayer in church
incomprehensible, prayer together in their group with their peers might be the best
way forward.
Some suggestions might be to include
Pausing
Try to create an atmosphere where it is possible to pause for a moment and be still.
It needs to be as atmospheric as possible, using candles, incense, lighting, visual
images etc
Sharing
Everyone brings something to share with everyone else. This can be a piece of
personal news, a piece of music, a poem, something from the newspaper, an object –
anything which means something to the person bringing it. Everyone shows what
they have brought and passes it round, or if it is music everyone listens to it, or if it
is a poem or story it is read out. If people feel comfortable they can say why they
brought things.
What is brought does not have to be specifically religious. The idea is to create a
space where things of meaning and importance can be shared. As long as the leader
has something to share each week, then over a period of time the young people will
also start to bring things.
Reflecting
Everyone has a chance to comment on what has been brought and share what it says
to them.
Praying
This leads naturally into prayer. This will not happen straight away, nor at the first
few meetings, but if a time of reflection and sharing is introduced into every meeting,
after a little while the young people know they have a safe place to bring things that
matter to them – a place where things can be discussed and a place where they can
pray for their concerns and needs. Prayer will develop slowly and the leader needs
to be sensitive both in allowing the prayer to happen and not feeling it has to be
hurried. There is nothing wrong with prayer beginning as wishful thinking and
longing. By encouraging teenagers to sit and reflect on what matters to them, you
will be leading them into prayer.
Silence
End with thoughtful quiet. Listen to some music or finish with some shared action
such as lighting candles or burning incense.
The advantage of this approach to prayer with teenagers in a youth group is that
everyone can participate regardless of how they feel about God or about prayer.