1. No category

WHEN THE ONLY WAY TO
COMEBACK KIDS
WIN IS TO STAY AWAY
JUNIOR BOYS
MY BEST MISTAKES - TRAVEL
TIP S BY REB EC CA BA KER
TEMPER TRAP
DIR T Y TAC TIC S
EVERYONE DIES
A HERO
ISSUE # 4
AUGUST 2009
A MONASH STU1 DENT
PU BL IC AT IO N
2
CONTENTS
GOING CRAZY FOR
PATRICK SWAYZE
5. Comeback Kids
6. When the Only Way to
Win is to Stay Away
8. Ghosting
10. Everyone Dies a Hero
12. Swayze Sports
14. Junior Boys
18. Dirty Tactics
19. Getting Dirty
22. Temper Trap
26. The Story Behind Toto
27. Strange Sexual Fantasies
28. Child Stars, Where are
they Now?
EDITORS Meg Osborne, Scott
30. My Best Mistakes - Travel
Tips by Rebecca Baker
33. Peninsula - Monash
Sustainable Food Festival
& Clubs Day
34. Environment at MONSU
Peninsula
Templeton, Andrew Blyberg.
SUB EDITORS Jack Pilven, Jack
Cannon.
CONTRIBUTORS Jack Cannon, Zac
Martin, Jack Pilven, Rebecca Baker,
Harrison Polites, Dani Meloney, Kane
Hunkin, Emma D’Agonstino, Caitlin
Rode, David Zalstein, Stuart Keam.
PRINTER Blue Star Print Group
PUBLISHER Emily Greco on behalf of
MONSU Caulfield
The magazine is published by monsu caulfield. Views expressed
within do not necessarily reflect those of monsu caulfield, the ditorial panel, the publisher, the editor or any other person associated
with esperanto. Responsibility for electoral comment is taken by
Emily Greco, 2 Princes Ave, Caulfield East, Vic, 3145
38. Final Conversations of
Kings - The Butterfly Effect
39. Karnivool - Sound Awake
42. Artists Spotlight - Stuart
Keam
3
EDITORIALS
ANDREW BLYBERG
How do I love thee, let me
count the SWAYZE! Aaah…
Patrick. What a man. What a
legend. What an icon. Now
he didn’t get off to a great
start with his first movie being
Skatetown USA (why don’t
you see any roller disco dance
battle movies being made these
days? hmmm) and there were
some speed bumps along the
way (cough…did somebody
say Roadhouse?). But any
man who can turn pottery
spinning into ‘hot fun’ deserves
respect. Plus that lift at the
end of Dirty Dancing (I think
its officially called the… ‘who’s
your Daddy’ lift) was some
seriously impressive stuff. Have
you ever tried to lift a girl like
that? I have… and it did not
end well (however that might
have more to do with my girlish
upper body strength or that
my dance partner had never
lost a pie eating contest in her
life). But seriously, this edition
is not meant to mock the man,
but rather it pays homage to
someone who gave us so much.
We’re crazy for Patrick Swayze.
4
SCOTT TEMPLETON
The mythical Swayze issue has
finally made it! Congratulations if
you are reading this, the hysteria
leading to the release of this issue
has me thinking it will sell out (if a
free magazine can?) quicker than
the premier of Dirty Dancing 2:
Havana Nights.
When telling a friend about all the
awesome content lined up for this
issue I was hit with the response:
“Wow, it almost sounds like a real
magazine.”
After I destroyed everything my
friend had ever held dear I did
begin to see where he was coming
from. When I picked up one of
these so-called “Real magazines”.
They had an interview with
Canadian electro stars “Junior
Boys”; we had an interview with
Canadian electro stars “Junior
Boys”
They spoke to the all-conquering
Temper Trap about world
domination and sudden success;
we spoke to the all-conquering
Temper Trap about world
domination and sudden success.
They had CD giveaways for albums
not even released yet; we have
CD giveaways for albums not even
released yet.
Hell, we even have the same
advertiser running a full page near
the cover. I suppose the main
distinction is that I assume their
editor didn’t spend a valuable page
comparing his publication to ours.
Arrogant pr*ck.
So Sean, I’m sorry I drowned your
cat, shaved your head as you slept
and cut your brakes. But think
before you speak next time.
Love Scott
MEG OSBORNE
So being the single female
editor for this publication,
you’d expect me to be a
Patrick Swayze pro am
I right? Unfortunately
when it comes to the dirty
dancing superstar sporting
to die for 80’s hair tips, I
am alas rather uneducated.
That being said working
with unnamed co-editor
Scott Templeton I think
we covered our quota for
obsessive fandom for the
issue, or five.
I was and never will be
a fan of 80’s teenage
romantic comedies, (I
know i’m an affront to
nature) however after
countless hours of research
(a friendly suggestion on
facebook chat) I finally
found my favourite Swayze
acomplishment. After seeing
this video, I will never doubt
that shiny yellow haired god
of a man ever again.
http://www.youtube.
com/watch?v=9RajNvJ3bCU
Go on. You know you want
to.
COMEBACK KIDS
JACK CANNON
CLICHÉ
IN A LEAGUE OF ITS OWN ATOP SO MANY
OUT OF
IT
HIT
BASEBALL FILMS, PATRICK SWAYZE
CK KID
THE PARK AS CHUCK IN 1980’S COMEBA
Patrick Swayze has been the pinnacle of success within Hollywood.
If we ignore (with much effort) his flagship movies such as Ghost,
Dirty Dancing and Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights) we are still
left with a legacy of acting talent and the most blatant
disregard for shirts Hollywood has ever seen. One
such triumph is his TV appearance as Chuck from The
Comeback Kid. Such a provocative and masculine title
(a Wikipedia search will find you Bill Clinton and a hard
rock band by the same name) begs two questions:
“Why have I never heard of The Comeback Kid?” and
“What are some of the greatest sporting comebacks?”
One; you have never heard of The Comeback Kid because
it is about a minor league baseballer who reignites his
love for the game by coaching underprivileged kids.
THAT is why you have never heard of it; do something
productive with the two hours I just saved you.
Two; sport is home to some of the greatest comebacks in history;
I’m not talking about miraculous recoveries from injury like Sea
Biscuit (who cares about a red-headed jockey anyway?) but the art
of sledging. Not just that but being able to counter a sledge with
such vitriol that the recipient of the ‘backhander’ begins to warm
to the prospect of a bath with their toaster.
Cricket is prone to these fantastic verbal slanging matches, where
slips fieldsmen have nothing to do for 5 hours a day but crouch
down occasionally and get in the ear of the batsmen. Australia
was the best sledging team in the early 2000’s, and Glen McGrath
was at the frontline of their sledging offensive. On one occasion he
asked West Indian batsman Ramnaresh Sarwan how Brain Lara’s
‘c**k tasted’. Without blinking an eye Sawan responded:
‘I’m not too sure, maybe you should ask your wife?’
Again to the cricket field, where men make up for wearing fruity
little scout hats and white slacks, determined to shine the ball on
theirs. Again we needn’t look any further than our own backyard.
Against the South Africans, Ricky Ponting played and missed at
3 consecutive balls, prompting Shaun Pollock to lend a hand,
describing what he should be swinging at.
“Ricky, it’s red, round and weighs about five ounces.”
The Yarpie should of bitten his tongue however, with his next
delivery getting crunched out of the stadium, to which Ponting
suggested;
“You know what it looks like, now go f***king find it.”
Gaaaawwd I love Austraya!
5
WHEN THE ONLY WAY TO WIN
IS TO STAY AWAY
HARRISON POLITES
I love Japan. Just think of all the crazy things that island content has
produced. Nintendo, Anime (mostly cartoon porn, though there are
a few quality shows), Sailor moon school uniforms, compact energy
efficient cars and, most importantly, game shows. Australia has its fair
share of cruddy game shows, but these are nothing compared to their
Japanese counterparts. On Japanese game shows the contestants don’t
win prizes. Contestants just win back their pride. Watching these shows
may just break your sanity and will probably lower your IQ. So here
begins our descent into madness, here begins our descent into Japanese
culture!
After enduring hours on YouTube (another fine journalism source) I
encountered my first notable Japanese game show. This show involved
mass amounts narcotics, some raccoon suits and a live audience. The
aim of the show was to drug your buddies into a semi lucid state dress
them up as a raccoon (yes, a raccoon) and then play pranks on them
in front of a live audience. The show quickly turns from humorous to
sadistic. They first play minor pranks on the victims such as putting
food on them and drawing on them, mainly things that won’t cause
permanent damage. Then the tools of punishment start to become
more severe. Punishments include: electric shocks, getting a random
Japanese grandma to make out with the victim, hot coals, ice water
baths and finally enduring a trip on a rollercoaster. It’s quite hard to
watch; you almost wish euthanasia upon the show’s victims. They don’t
even win anything, they just lose their dignity. Guess they should have
never swallowed that narcotic cocktail.
6
“THE AIM OF THE SHOW WAS TO DRUG YOUR BUDDIES INTO A SEMI LUCID STATE DRESS THEM UP AS
A RACCOON”
Nothing is funnier than watching people aimlessly run into walls. The
next show that I saw built on this premise and added some Japanese
flair. Contestants (or victims, whatever you prefer) are instructed to
run at full pace towards a wall with four doors. They are to pick one
door and charge through it. Little do they know that only one door
is made of foam with the others a delightfully comfortable variety of
reinforced steel. To win, contestants must break through four walls
worth of doors, each wall having arrangement for the different types
of doors. Again you can only feel sorry for the victims of this bizarre
television show. I guess everyone in Japan must want their minute of
fame (or humiliation) on television.
The last game show I witnessed involved badminton and bubbly,
dumb-but-hot Japanese girls. So as you can imagine there was more
giggling in this ten minute long clip than an entire season of Sailor
Moon. In fact for most of the clip the girls just laughed, even when
they were getting punished. In the show, four girls in teams of two
would face off in a badminton game. Punishments are administered
by a transvestite looking guy, who for some reason is idolized by the
audience. Copping a blow dryer to the face, swallowing some green
liquid, getting a jellyfish poured down their back are only a couple
of the cruelties this show presents to their contestants though it is
tame compared to other shows. What made this show stand out was
its treatment of the hot ‘blonde’ (yet they were all brunette, but it is
the best way to describe them) girls. It’s worth mentioning that in all
the shows I saw, female contestants were seen as being equal to men
treated in much the same way.
I know that through writing this article, my IQ has dropped by at least
twenty points. Japanese game shows are so funny, yet they are so
bizarre and mind numbing. So if fail any units this semester, you’ll
know why. Oh, and Patrick Swayze has probably been on a game show
and may have been to Japan, so my article is totally relevant to this
edition.
Patrick Swayze
appeared as himself
in five 1998 episodes
of gameshow
Hollywood Squares.
Including once as
the envied ‘Centre
Square’ .
7
GHOSTING
EMMA D’AGONSTIN
O
RESENTED
AND ANDY AND P
H
IS
M
A
H
Y
E IN
B
D
AS INVENTE
ND ANDY WEBSIT
A
H
IS
M
A
H
E
TH
D
ON ROVE LIVE AN
2008
‘Ghosting’ requires competitors to walk as close as they can
behind passes by. Clock starts when they have engaged the
target. Longest Ghost wins the round.
Speed ghosting is exactly
like ghosting, but speedi
er. (Usually it
requires ghosting a jogger
).
st two
eously gho
s simultan
te
and
a
r
m
e
n
m
a
ur part
hen te
osting is w
ing ’ with yo
h
ve
G
fi
m
h
e
ig
d
n
‘h
Ta
ften
every so o
passers by,
’.
e
e
st
ho
swapping ‘g
8
Double-decker ghosting
requires one teammate
on the shoulders
of the other while ghosti
ng.
Forbidden Ghosting sees competitors
ghosting the Chinese
military whilst in the Forbidden City.
Escaping life in prison wins
the round.
Hamish and Andy succeed in ghosting
six Chinese military officials
‘Crouching Tiger, Hidden Ghost’ style
.
Ghost Busting: Random Ghosting Facts
•
At the time of filming the Team Ghosting 2.0 championship, the sport
of ghosting had been banned in six schools. One child had even been known to
Hamish and Andy to be suspended as a result of ghosting.
•
“If you haven’t seen Cool Runnings it’s a lot like that”- Hamish Blake on
Team Ghosting 2.0
•
“Ghosting is aimed at the American market because it’s going to go
global; it’s gonna be massive”- Andy Lee, on the sport of Personal Space Invading
•
Ghosting illustrates the importance of being limber
•
“Ghosting from the top shelf” is the appropriate phrase to describe
legendary ghosting.
9
EVERYONE DIES A
ZAC MARTIN
Patrick Swayze isn’t going to
have this problem, because he’s
obviously already a king among
men, and he’ll die the same way.
Although he sits on a death bed
instead of a throne, he truly
is a hero. But what of those
celebrities who aren’t as gentle,
kind or good hearted as Pat?
These celebrities die as heroes,
even the bad ones revered as
idols long after their death.
I should probably admit the idea
for this article and even some
of the content is almost stolen
directly from The Chaser’s War on Everything,
who did a skit on this topic a few years back. All
my father ever asked of me was to be honest,
so yeah, now do I meet your impossibly high
expectations, dad? WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME
DADDY!?
Father issues aside, there is actually a technical
term for this phenomena. As any business student
could tell you after doing one or two management
subjects (why has no one
realised they’re all pretty
much the exact same
subject? I mean seriously,
how many f***ing times
do I have to learn Maslow’s
Hierarchy of Needs?), it’s
called the Halo Effect,
where one positive aspect
of a person is accentuated,
often at the neglect of other
negative aspects.
So no matter what a celebrity
has done in their lifetime,
they always die a hero.
Steve Irwin was a bogan who
stereotyped us Australians
10
HERO
so greatly we’ve still had to live with it long after
they pulled that stinger out of his heart. And
when he wasn’t caging our native animals he was
dangling babies in front of them. Don Bradman
was an arsehole who couldn’t hit one run the last
game he played. Even after retirement he sat on a
number of cricket boards being an arsehole. And
speaking of Australian (or New Zealand, depends
how you look at it) icons, Phar Lap couldn’t
even win the last Melbourne Cup he ran. It even
happened with Heath Ledger, who picked up an
Oscar playing a joke of a character. Although I
can’t really complain, I made a casual $160 from
Centrebet on that one.
Ned Kelly murdered people. ‘Nuff said.
But it’s not just Australian’s we learn to love after
they start rotting in the ground. Princess Diana
was a slut who couldn’t keep it in her pants while
celebs like Anna Nicole Smith should actually be
the definition of “gold digging”. And it’s not even
limited to celebrities. When was the last time you
went to a funeral where someone said something
bad about the person lying stiff in the box beside
them? How can you put the “fun” in “funeral” if
everyone’s going to be all negative about it?
Thankfully, dead people can’t sue because my
HECS debt is
already big
enough. But if
Michael Jackson
can touch
children, get away
with it and still die
a hero, then so
will Josef Fritzl.
Send all hate mail
to: zacmartin@
pigsdontfly.com
11
SWAYZE
SPORTS
JACK CANNON
Patrick Swayze is arguably the
world’s greatest man. From inspiring
men to take up ballet since 1987 with
his masterpiece Dirty Dancing to his
role in making necrophilia acceptable
as a handsy poltergeist in Ghost,
Swayze has been the inspiration
for a generations of aspiring actors.
But his motivational grasp extends
farther than his pliés and more
intimately than his spectral spooning
with Demi Moore. Many of today’s
sports stars owe their careers to
Swayze and his unparalleled acting
ability. Had Swayze not exploded on
the Hollywood scene, one can only
theorise what sports he may have
excelled in….
When one thinks of the Swayze, any sort of physicality beyond grinding hips and grasping hands seems
unfathomable. But what we don’t see is the transferrable skills Swayze has picked up in his long and
illustrious career. Looking at his two biggest big-screen hits in Ghost and Dirty Dancing we can, with
a little imagination, create the best fighter known to man. His rhythmic timing and tight pants lend
themselves to instant lower-body comparisons to the great Muhammad Ali, and channelling his ability
to be in limbo as a ghost makes his defence more impenetrable than Hannah Montana. Ladies and
Gentleman, had someone stolen Swayze’s bike in Houston rather than Ali’s in Kentucky we would have
had a Swayze v Foreman in the “Rumble in the Jungle”, in an event that would see Swayze disqualified
for an attempt to perform sexy pottery with Foreman in the seventh round.
But despite these small setbacks, Swayze could lend his multi-award winning, World’s-Sexiest-Man-1991
body to a plethora of other sports. Again his iconic flick Dirty Dancing plays a big part in his ability to
balance, twist man move in the most improbable and sexy ways. Couple this with his performances in
Skatetown U.S.A (based on the popularity of the 70’s roller discos) as well as surfer cult flick Point Break
we have the makings of a professional ice skater.
He ticks all the boxes;
Big hair- tick.
Love of tight pants- tick.
Ability to flick his legs in any number of normally unforgiving angles- tick.
But most importantly Swayze has that pinch of gay which would allow him to hoist a woman, by her
crotch, above his head without pitching a tent in his flared sequin tights.
No matter the sport, there is no doubt Swayze would excel, and through his unrivalled acting ability he
has been able to live all these sports. Whilst idiot sportsmen chase one dream, Swayze has lived them all
and we
12have lived them with him. He put Baby in the corner; and had he wanted to, could of triple-axled
a right hook upside her head if she didn’t shut her mouth. But he didn’t – and that’s why we love him.
13
JUNIOR BOYS
JACK PILVEN
If you ask musician Matthew Didemus which classic band he
would like to cover, his response is one that may raise some
eyebrows. “Neil Young...yeah, we have spoken about doing
a Neil Young cover.” As one half of electro-pop outfit Junior
Boys, Matthew spends most of his time plugging away at
synthesizers producing music alongside Jeremy Greenspan
that is far removed from the simple acoustic twang of many
Neil Young tunes. Yet, for Matthew, music should not be
about conforming to the obvious. “People would say, “cover
Depeche Mode”. But for us, why would we rewrite a Depeche
Mode song as a cover? It doesn’t make any sense. It doesn’t
really progress anything artistically.” It seems Junior Boys are
all about doing their own thing- as how many electro/dance
bands do you know that have covered Frank Sinatra?
Junior Boys will bring their 80s inspired disco grooves to
Australia for the first time in September as part of the Parklife
tour. Although this string of festivals will mark their first
visit, Matthew is quick to address why they have taken their time. “It’s always based on other people’s
organisation. It’s a long flight for us to do,” he explains. “We have always wanted to go, but it’s just one
of those things where it’s like… we haven’t because scheduling is all messed up. It will be good to finally
do it.”
Making the trek with the band will be tunesx from their new album Begone Dull Care. Comprised of the
synchronized buzz of bleeping keyboards atop of Jeremy Greenspan’s cordial vocals, Begone Dull Care
is an album with a delicacy to it that will no doubt clash with the chaotic sounds of some of the other
acts on Parklife. It has its upbeat moments covered by tracks like “Hazel” but also has its slower more
brooding moments catered for by tracks like “Work”. Despite the contrasts on the album, Matthew is
confident the band knows how to translate their music to a live setting. “I think some of the mid-tempo
stuff goes down well live depending on how it is executed. Obviously, we do play a lot more of the upbeat
stuff when performing in a club setting because it’s not like in a sit down theatre and people want to
get up and dance,” he ponders. “We adapt the set list as we tour and watch how the crowds react. For
instance, if we play like five really poppy upbeat songs at the beginning and then play like eight midtempo14
to slow ones, you start to lose people’s attention.”
As Matthew reclines on his couch in Berlin, he begins to
document how Begone Dull Care came together. In his
opinion, Junior Boys’ third album is an honest reflection
of the life the band is currently living. It documents the
habits of living, functioning, professional musicians and
the creative processes involved with that lifestyle. Yet, it
does so in a somewhat unconventional way. “We didn’t
want to be super self-referential or to have songs about
ourselves; you can get into really dangerous territory by
doing that” Matthew states. “So for Begone Dull Care, we
chose to use an animator named Norman McLaren as the
subject of the record. This was because it enabled us to
deal with the perspectives of the creative process and to
use him to get the ideas across. In a way, the album is sort
of an open homage to him.” Matthew believes the band
found commonalties between the work of the legendary
animator and their own, and basing the album around him
allowed Junior Boys to translate ideas in a straightforward
fashion. However, whilst things have progressed smoothly
in the studio, it’s not always the same story on the live
circuit.
“I used to take my Minimoog, like the original Minimoog,
out when we were on tour and it always came back messed
up,” confesses Matthew. Although they hardly display the
guitar smashing or equipment demolishing antics of certain
other bands, Junior Boys admit that life on the road can
take its toll on both the members of the band and their
wallets. “It’s really expensive,” says Matthew in relation
to maintaining vintage equipment. “It’s just not reliable
to be in a band and have that stuff out, unless you have
replacements or you can have a contact in every city that
can fix it quickly.” At the same time, the group refuses to
rely on laptops for their live performances; Matthew believes they don’t need the luxury of having
all the original, exact sounds they use. While the pair are self confessed “studio people”, it would
seem that having flexibility with their material is still a high priority when recreating their songs live.
Therefore, you never know? Reverberating over the grassy hills of Birrarung Marr for Parklife this year,
you could catch yourself listening to a synthesized Neil Young song thanks to the lads in Junior Boys.
Catch Junior Boys alongside the likes of MSTRKRFT, Crystal Castles, Metronomy, The Rapture, Metric
and Empire of the Sun on the national Parklife tour this September/October.
Parklife 2009 tour dates
Sat 26 Sep – Botanic Gardens & Riverstage, Brisbane
Sun 27 Sep – Wellington Square, Perth
Sat 3 Oct – Birrarung Marr, Melbourne
Sun 4 Oct – Kippax Lake, Moore Park, Sydney
Mon 5 Oct – Botanic Park, Adelaide
15
W
EARLY
/
WARNING D
LETTERS
EARLY WARNING LETTERS
At the end of each semester every faculty reviews each
studentÕ s results and if they believe that you are in danger of
not meeting academic progress requirements they will send
you an Early Warning Letter.
The Early Warning letter is your chance to reassess your
situation and figure out what you need to do in order to pass
your subjects. The university wants to help you with this,
which is why they attach a list of people and services that
can help you to improve your chances of success. Although
it is just a warning, you should take immediate action to
CAULFIELD
PENINSULA
BERWICK
Level 3, Building S, 2 Princes Avenue,
Caulfield East, Vic, Australia, 3145
P: +61 3 9903 2596
F: +61 3 9572 3971
[email protected]
www.monsu.org/studentrights
Building U, McMahons Road
Frankston, Vic, Australia, 3199
P: +61 3 9904 4217
F: +61 3 9783 3664
[email protected]
www.monsu.org/studentrights
Building 930, Clyde Road
Berwick, Vic, Australia, 3806
P: +61 3 9904 7019
[email protected]
www.monsu.org/studentrights
16
WITHDRAWAL
/CENSUS
DATES
WITHDRAWAL/CENSUS DATES
Did you know that each semester has a date after which
you cannot discontinue a unit without academic and/or
financial penalties?
If you withdraw before August 31st 2009, you will not have
to pay for the unit and it will not appear on your academic
transcript.
You can still withdraw from your unit after this date, but you
will be required to pay the fees. To check the penalty dates
for discontinuing from units check your Monash student
diary.
17
DIRTY TACTICS
HOW MANY IS TOO MANY
CAITLIN RODE
God love Baby for throwin
it out to the king of the
swoon Patrick Swayze in
Dirty Dancing, ‘have you had
many women?’ The look
of horror on his gorgeous
face said it all didn’t it,
‘hmmm probably shouldn’t
tell her I’ve slept with more
women than Jack Nicholson
has popped Viagra’. It’s
an inevitable question
that seems to be asked
predominantly by women.
I must say that it is a small
wading pool of men that are
actually interested in how
experienced their woman
is in bed. I mean, no body
wants to date a slut right?
But Swayze definitely nailed
the standard male response
didn’t he: change the topic,
answer the question with
a question or playing the
victim card—‘these women
are shovin’ diamonds and
18
room keys in my pockets!’
Now those would have
been some marvellous
trousers to get your hands
on, tantalizing every woman
with his….jewels.
But the question is why do
women do this? Why do
we have to know where
we rank on our man’s shag
list? Surely there is no right
answer to such a question.
Men seem to steer away
from these sorts of matters
as much as they may steer
away from a booze or drug
bus on a Saturday night.
If the girl doesn’t like the
answer served up there’s
no way of going back in
time in your grey delorean,
alongside that crazy scientist
with the white hair to make
it more appealing.
I mean lets say the shag
number is falling around
the ‘can be counted on one
hand’ mark. Lets be honest
here, if a guy’s tally is under
about three women, your
lady is going to think you
have the sexual prowess of
that fat comic book guy from
the Simpsons. But if you’re
in your virile early twenties
and you’ve had somewhere
over the 18 shags mark, she
may think you’ve smacked
more ass than Dwayne
Johnson (the Rock) has had
teeth whitening treatments.
The truth here is that it
doesn’t really matter how
many shags your partner has
had, it was in the past, (lots
of men went to swingers
parties for practice right?)
and remember this; you
are now the one who is
feeling or uh…experiencing
the benefits. I’d wager that
Swayze would have taught
Baby a few more tricks
than just the Macarena,
she should be grateful that
she’s now been schooled in
the ways of dirty dancing….
someone into bed.
GETTING DIRTY
DAVID ZALSTEIN
The guy’s a superstar, a
world-renowned actor and
famous for being one of the
best pieces of eye-candy
around the traps but now,
alas, he may not have long
to live. So out of respect and
wonder, I’ve decided to go
to my local video store and
hire one of his most popular
films – Dirty Dancing.
I’d like to point out a few
things before I press play
on the 15th Anniversary
Edition of what many
believe to be 1987’s most
significant 100 minutes.
Firstly, I’ve never seen this
film before, nor ever felt
compelled to. Secondly,
although my boyfriend is
quite gay, I myself am not
and hence have never seen
this film before, nor ever
felt compelled to. And on
that note, the play button is
pressed.
The film has a great
soundtrack with classics
including ‘(I’ve Had) The
Time of My Life’ and ‘Hungry
Eyes’. I may or may not have
been caught singing along
several times.
Wayne Knight, Newman
of Seinfeld fame, appears
several times throughout
the film, whether this is a
plus or minus I’m not sure.
Not only has Patrick Swayze
got wicked moves in this
flick, both on the dance floor
and in the boudoir, but as
Johnny Castle he also totally
pulls off wearing a shirt
unbuttoned down to the
belly button and seriously
tight pants. Seriously tight
pants! He does lose points
however for horribly camp
and unconvincing storm offs
following arguments.
The highlights for me were
the massively suggestive
three-way dance instruction
scene between Johnny,
Baby and Johnny’s former
partner, Penny, very steamy
indeed. And the moment, 55
minutes in, when shit really
escalates between Johnny
and Baby, oh yeah.
Jennifer Gray is outstanding
throughout. She makes
Baby, whose real name
is Francis, come across
as intelligent, funny and
incredibly cute, plus she
has an absolutely stunning
stomach (gentleman enjoy
and ladies take note).
There is a reference to
boobs as ‘maracas’, which I
thought was excellent and
When the final dance/scene
kicks off with Johnny and
Baby I didn’t cry. I didn’t
even shed a tear in fact, but
I did get one hell of a shiver
down my spine. I’m not
gonna lie to you guys, it was
amazing.
So now that my Dirty
Dancing cherry has been
popped, I wish The Swayze
all the best and remember
folks, “Nobody puts Baby in
the corner”.
19
MONSU
Service
Desk
Opening Hours:
During Semester
Monday - Wednesday
8.45am - 6.00pm
Thursday - Friday
8.45am - 5.30pm
Non-Semester
Monday - Friday
10.00am - 3.00pm
Dry Cleaning now operational!
Pick up/Drop off on Tuesdays & Fridays.
SPECIAL! $18.90 for 3 items!
Need a sugar fix or a pick me up?
The MONSU Service Desk is now selling
sweet treats to cure your cravings! Grab a
Freddo Frog, Chuppa Chup or Chocolate
bar!
Lockers are now available in the T-Building.
You can hire a locker for One Semester at
$20 or the full year at $30. Speak to the
staff at the MONSU Service Desk for more
information.
20
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o
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www.encorepizza.com.au
Encore Pizza & Pasta Caulfield
903A Dandenong Road
PH: (03) 9949 0333
Fax: (03) 9949 0335
[email protected] 21
* Only at Encore Caulfield *Not in conjunction with any other offer * Conditions apply
SCOTT TEMPLETON
TEMPER
It’s 6:30 am in London, and for many members of Melbourne band the Temper Trap the day has
barely began. Having recently relocated here, their new work environment is far removed from
where they began. Luckily enough, guitarist Lorenzo Silitto is sitting at home in Melbourne where it’s
a much more respectable 3:30 in the afternoon and where I have somehow managed to get him on
the phone between interviews with the world’s big music rags.
Having just played a plethora of shows at the South by Southwest music Showcase in Austin/Texas,
he was on a rare trip home for a member of a band that are coming up thick and fast to take the
world by storm. “It was weird man, it is a crazy place – pretty cosmopolitan for that whole redneck
southern America thing …it was pretty crazy.” Inside insanely jealous, I feign sympathy for the
pressure of hyped-up performance after hyped-up performance but he assures me it could have
been worse. “ (New Zealand indie outfit) Cut Off Your Hands played 10 shows in 4 days, man I felt for
those guys.”
Though hype alone seems enough to boost a band from the talk of the town to a house on the hill,
it seems fame and fortune no longer come in a two-pack. Stilitto laments that he still cannot afford
a new guitar – frothing over a slightly embellished description of my latest acquisition as we talk six
strings on the phone. Studying business management at university, and then a diploma in sound
engineering – he still found time to work forty-hour weeks up until the band’s recent relocation.
Drummer Toby finished university only months before the London jaunt, while Johnny and Vocalist
Dougie lived, as Silitto describes, “a little more leisurely”.
On the dawn of their highly anticipated debut album “Conditions”, Silitto is just glad to sit back and
slow down, even if just for a moment. The combination of all the media hype, a hit lead single in
‘Sweet Disposition’ and highly sought after producer Jim Abbiss (of Kasabian, Arctic Monkeys and
Adele fame) meant the finished product was definitely going to be one worth waiting for. “It was a
massive relief, we had waited so long to get Jim on board. I remember when we finished Down River
(from the new album). (When) playing it back through the studio speakers, it was better than we
could imagine, a new song”.
The seemingly sudden shot to fame experienced by the band has left the humility in tact that is
lacking in some established acts (Noel “We’re not arrogant, we just believe we’re the best band
in the world” Gallagher anyone?). From Stiitto’s man-crush on fellow Melburnian axe-wielder Dan
Luscombe of The Drones’ to his general inability to talk to his rockstar peers. “I just get a little
starstruck, I don’t know what to say” he makes of a run-in with an idol. “We were packing up after
a show in Hoxton and there was some guy raiding our beers. Turns out it was Mick, the bassist from
one of my favourite bands (Supergrass).”
His modesty at times borders on self-doubt, a virtue that thankfully for TTT lives only outside the
music, instead factoring on other big things, like the bands recent relocation. Assuring me that he is
“still not cool”, he tells a couple of London stories including a near run-in with tabloid (and personal)
favourite Pete Doherty. “He actually walked past me the other day! We’d just played a show and I
was walking along with an Australian girl… she couldn’t believe it and bolted into the distance after
him”.
With enough delay to rival The Edge, Stilitto joined the band after the other members of TTT (then
The Harlequinns) and his current band shared bills at the once great indie night Shakesomeaction
161. He explains it was a simple matter of timing between bands and a stroke of luck down to
comparison. “When I turned up to a jam session looking to join they were playing with this guy
decked out in leather pants with this dyed red hair, when I walked in I think the comparison was
enough as the rest (of the band) just broke down laughing”.
22
TRAP
And that strikes me as the best aspect of The
Temper Trap. The brashness and egos don’t
exist in the real world, and if they transcend
into the music it shows as tenacity and passion.
Favourite Venue to Play – The Palace,
honorable mention to the Enmore (NSW)
Dream Venue- the Forum “that roof!”
Dream Support act – Radiohead, hands down.
“F*ck! I wish I wrote that” – Radiohead’s
“There There”
Live or Studio – live, only just.
Dream Collaboration – Tom Waits
Subway fresh or toasted – Fresh
Patrick Swayze Film – Dirty Dancing
Photo of album cover…
“CONDITIONS” OUT NOW THROUGH
LIBERATION MUSIC
Songs to Limewire: ‘fader, ‘sweet disposition’, ‘love lost’ The album is by no means perfect but
to come even close to the hype surrounding this release is a feat all to itself. The Vocals soar
angelically above the already full and swooning soundscapes like the bastard sons of U2 spending
too much time with The Shins. The polished production heard in the guitars congeals perfectly
with the garage jam band hand claps and doo-wops and goes along way to keep a stadium band
from leaving home just yet.
23
“ Own your piece of the net! ”
NO
commissions
NO
extra charges
It’s smart, it’s easy,
it’s cheap and the profit
stays in your pocket!
“ $10 a year, flat rate”
Sell your stuff, sell your home,
sell your car, get a job.
Make it work
for you!
24
$
$
N d!
R
en
i
A
r
f
E la
Tel
www.thesocexchange.com.au
AWARDS
EVENING
Nominate NOW for the MONSU Awards Evening
Thursday 24th September, 2009
Anyone can nominate a
- Club
- Student Representative
- Volunteer
See nomination packs @ www.monsu.org/met/mae/
25
THE STORY BEHIND...
KANE HUNKIN
Long before lighting up the screens with his signature dance numbers Patrick Swayze was
dancing to a different beat – that of rock band Toto, courtesy of a brief cameo in the 1982
music video ‘Rosanna’ alongside future Dirty Dancing co-star Cynthia Rhodes.
Ah yes, Toto. Not that annoying little dog off the Wizard of Oz but rather the 80’s musical
supergroup who are better known today for having their songs featured on those
insufferable Air-Supply-hosted “Soft Rock” infomercials.
But what exactly was the inspiration behind the assertively titled Rosanna?
The song itself is indicative of the success the band received in the early 1980’s. ‘Rosanna’
won record of the year at the 1983 Grammy’s and the LP on which it was featured; ‘Toto IV’
would also take out the album of the year honours.
Musically, ‘Rosanna’ is perhaps best recognised for the infectious half time shuffle beat
performed by late drummer Jeff Porcaro, who merged the triplet based groove of John
Bonham (Led Zeppelin) on ‘Fool in the Rain’ with the rhythms of shuffle’s number one
practitioner, Mr. Bernard Purdie.
Porcaro, one of the most recorded drummers in history; having laid down grooves with
notable bands such as Steely Dan, Dire Straits and contributing the iconic rhythm on
Michael Jackson’s ‘Beat It’, ensured the song would always maintain a strong level of musical
longevity.
For years, it had been assumed or rather taken for granted that the song title simply referred
to the then current relationship between actress Rosanna Arquette and Toto keyboardist
Steve Porcaro. However, as the band strongly claimed in February 2008’s issue of Classic Rock
(issue 115), ‘that b**** has ridden our coat tails long enough’.
Part of the intrigue
was that the track
provided a form
of career fodder
for Arquette. The
big screen starlet
(perhaps that label is a
tad excessive) openly
declared that the song
was a tribute of sorts
to her.
Nevertheless, as the
band has openly
maintained, the title
simply derived from
a need to call the
song something that
could flow in the
lyrics – nothing more,
nothing less. And to
be honest the band is
probably right. Upon a
cursory inspection of
the lyrics, something
tells me that calling
the song something
like ‘Bertha’ or
‘Gertrude’ would
not of contained the
same level of rhythmic
resonance.
26
STRANGE SEXUAL
EMMA D’AGONSTINO
Strange Sexual Fantasies
The Ford ad captures it perfectly.
The extreme embarrassment
that can occur when you take
something out of a movie and try
to translate it to a more realistic
scenario. For those who can’t
remember the ad, it opens with
a view of an engineering lab at
an automotive factory. No dim
lights and romantic settings here;
only the stark, white, sterile
environs. A geeky male engineer,
complete with Dick Smith-esque
spectacles, sits before a block
of clay. As he smacks the clay
about rather unsuccessfully, his
attractive- and similarly spectacle
clad- blonde female coworker
approaches from behind him. She
entangles her arms around his to
aid him in the creation process…
and Unchained Melody begins to
play. What ensues is awkward,
hilarious and very confusing- so
many white, lab-coat clad arms;
which one belongs to whom?!
As the frequency of their panting
gets more frantic, it suddenly dies
away. The car is complete. And if
people behaving awkwardly after
a strangely sexual act makes you
laugh, you’ll appreciate the
caliber of the actors. If there’s
one thing you can say for this
ad, it was very well done!
The original scene, in
contrast, is all about a dimly
lit room, exceptional camera
angles and fantastic use of a
soundtrack. For those of us
whose experience of pottery
is limited to the use of Play
Dough or crappy
clay during an art
class at school, it
gives you a whole
new view on
things. Literally.
A great hunk of
slippery, wet (and
conveniently skincoloured) clay
is being molded
into a rather tall,
erect shape by the
intertwined hands
of lovers. And if
that didn’t make
viewers think,
‘wow, that’s a bit
phallic,’ check out
the placement
of the clay in the
frame. Front and
centre, smack bang
between Demi’s
spread legs. ‘Tsk
tsk, that’s a little
racy,’ you might
think. ‘Oh, really?’
the director
seems to say. ‘We
didn’t think we
were being subtle
enough.’ And so
they edit in a bunch of close
up and overhead shots that
make it blatantly obvious
what the scene is building
up to.
‘Now, if we don’t soften the
edge on this scene it will
come across that we’re dirty
minded,’ they seem to think.
‘So hey, that Unchained
Melody song- the ballad is
so sweeping and lovely that
women are bound to find it
romantic. Yeah, let’s do that.’
Voi la, we have a scene more
famous than the rest of the
plot put together. Just don’t
put it on mute or re-dub it;
the effect’s a little different.
And considering that the
scene has been copied, taken
out of context or
parodied in the
media alone so many
times that a finite list
could not be created
for the purpose
of this article, I’m
guessing that you’ve
been exposed to
a Ghost moment
before that proves
just how true that is.
At the risk of death
threats, I’m going
to go out on a limb
here. Since Twilight
became more
popular than Dracula,
it seems that most of
the global population
is out searching for
their Edward. Now,
I thought it was
stupid when people
wanted to stand at
the front of a boat
a la Titanic, so I’m
probably not going
to grasp the gravity
of this. Neither does
the guy who wrote
about being dumped
for ‘Edward’ on the
site fmylife (but
that’s another story.
If a cold-blooded,
pasty-skinned and
red-eyed guy at
uni told that he’d
been stalking youespecially while you
were asleep, because
he doesn’t sleep, did
you know? - and that
he was tormented
because he was
simultaneously
turned on by the
idea of you alive
and by the fantasy
of snapping your
neck and draining
you of what was
apparently the best
smelling blood he’d
come across in
over a century of
his existence (and
yes, he’s that old),
I’m guessing it’s not
going to result in a
love that transcends
all boundaries?
F
A
N
T
A
S
I
E
S
27
CHILD STARS
WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
DANI MELONEY
They were young, cute and at
one point or another captured
the hearts of the public. But
like most normal children,
child stars have to grow up.
But where are they now?
Some have achieved success
and some have… not.
Madeline Zima – Young
Madeline Zima made her
mark on the world as little
Grace Sheffield on The Nanny.
Many were enchanted by her
innocence, so suddenly seeing
her topless in Californication
came as a bit of a shock and
tended to freak a few out.
The girl’s a prime example
of someone trying to break
out of the good girl image
that came with being a child
actress. Does she get away
with it though? I don’t know
28you but she’s still Gracie
about
Sheffield to me.
Macaulay Culkin – Best known
as that Home Alone kid that
tried aftershave too soon.
At the height of his fame,
Culkin was regarded the most
successful child actor since
Shirley Temple. He went into
acting at the age of four, was
a multimillionaire by the age
of twelve, was emancipated
from his parents by the
age of fourteen and was
charged with the possession
of illegal substances by the
age of seventeen. His acting
career as an adult has also
been spotty. I for one, can’t
remember the last time a saw
this little dude in a film. Guess
as the bloke grew up he lost
his cuteness – and his appeal.
Miley Cyrus – As much as I
hate myself for including her,
you can’t talk about child stars
without including Miley Cyrus.
She found fame with her
lead role in Hannah Montana
where she sings
and prances
around in front
of millions
of tweens.
However, despite
the squeakyclean image
that the girl
likes to portray,
the amount
of scandalous
pictures that
have emerged
of her suggest
that she’s not
EREK
YZE PLAYED D
PATRICK SWA
WE
GSIDE ROB LO
SUTTON ALON
R
COUT THRILLE
IN THE 1986 S LOOD
YOUNGB
as innocent as she appears.
While she is still in the height
of her fame, she hasn’t
managed to check into rehab
like many of her fellow child
stars – yet. You never know
though…
Mary-Kate and Ashley
Olsen – Best known for
playing Michelle Tanner on
the sitcom Full House. As
adults the twins didn’t fall
off the face of the earth
like many other child stars
did. (Molly Ringwald for
example… when was the
last time anyone saw her in
anything?) They did have
some successful acting
roles and run their own
clothing line. However,
young Mary-Kate was not
unlike others in Hollywood
Britney Spears – I think
the name says it all.
Singing and dancing on
the Mickey Mouse Club.
Canoodling with Justin
Timberlake. Controlling
mother. Stardom as
she danced around in
a schoolgirl uniform.
Alcohol. More dancing.
Drugs. Unwanted
underwear flashes.
Quickie Wedding.
Quickie Divorce. More
Alcohol. More Drugs.
Marriage to K-Fed. Gives
birth. Shaves head.
Rehab. Comeback tour.
The name Britney Spears
is self explanatory.
as she checked into rehab
after being diagnosed with
anorexia. However she’s much
better now and continues to
be somewhat of a style icon to
teenage girls.
Lindsay Lohan – And who
could forget Lindsay Lohan?
From the freckled faced star
of Disney’s The Parent Trap to
sexy Mean Girl to the
girl who most likely
is in every tabloid on
the face of the Earth.
From her many stints
in rehab for drug and
alcohol abuse to her
surprise relationship
with DJ Samantha
Ronson, Lohan has
accomplished it all…
except a successful
acting career.
29
MY BEST MISTAKES
ER
K
A
B
A
C
C
E
B
E
R
TRAVEL TIPS BY
REBECCA BAKER
Members of Baker family, including myself traveled to the country of Vietnam on the 26th of
June, catching an 11pm flight. Discovered during eight hour flight that drinking to the point
of inebriation the night prior was immensely stupid; simply cannot assuage a headache while
kids behind play soccer with the back of one’s seat.
Lesson one of Vietnam: Fly drunk, but not hung over.
Learnt lesson two upon arrival: Learn how to say, “no, thank you” in the local language.
At least fifteen young women, from ages 6-35, led a verbal onslaught. The battle of “you
buy from meeeeee?” raged on until out of earshot. Contemplated if it would be best to
don a Scream-inspired mask and chase them with a sharp object, yelling: “No mercy! No
MEEEEERRRRR-CCYYYYYY!” Promptly decided that I was not cut out to be some cellmate’s
bitch.
The ever important third lesson: Water is an always food. Stay hydrated.
Not as obvious as it sounds. An embarrassing swan dive and chunder combo will have me
always remember that water is an always liquid and must constantly be poured down the
gullet to keep your feet below your head. Trust me, when some scary little man with a bad
moustache offers you the option of riding back to the hotel on his hot wheels masquerading
as a motor bike, you want to be able to say no.
Another thing to keep in mind is to not lose embarrassing personal belongings. W have all
read in Fight Club about the women who get pulled aside at customs for rogue vibrators
going off in their luggage, but it is equally (if not more so) embarrassing running down to
reception in your nightie, almost in tears, because you lost the teddy your boyfriend gave
you (I found it honey, please don’t kill me). Another one to commit to memory, Something
about standing in the middle of reception, lip quivering, shoeless, while half the staff try not
to laugh at you (and the other half don’t even bother trying) is not a high point. Not a high
point at all.
Most important lesson of travelling would be to just say yes. Having been travelling for
eighteen days now I am discovering that saying yes to things you’d usually say no to is
immeasurably worthwhile. So jump off the rickety top story of a junk into jellyfish infested
waters, climb all 452 steps to the top of a mountain just for the view, try the ice cream from
the shifty street vendor and take the back streets. This is where the good holidays lie, in the
stuff that scares the hell out of you. Scary is fun. Scary is Swayze.
30
PATRICK SWAYZE ON
CE APPEARED IN THE
TELEVISION
SERIAL M*A*S*H, AS
PRIVATE GARY STUR
GIS. M*A*S*H
WAS SET IN KOREA,
DURING 1950-1953,
BUT THE
TELEVISION SHOW AN
D EPONYMOUS MOV
IE WERE
CREATED AS A REPS
ONSE TO THE VIETNA
M WAR.
31
32
PENINSULA
BLE FOOD
A
IN
A
T
S
U
S
H
MONAS
FESTIVAL
“Even with no Peter Everett in sight, it was a cook off to be remembered! “
The Peninsula Sustainable Food Festival was an event to mark sustainability
month at Monash. The aim of the game was to highlight the importance of
food to sustainability and how we can all do our little bit without having to
‘fork’ out the big bucks to do so. It also presented students with ideas when it
came to mealtime other then 2-minute noodles and Latina fresh pasta.
The festival included environment groups, an indigenous-foods cooking
demonstration and presentation, information stalls and sustainable foods on
offer for trialling. This was all well and good but the piece-du-resistance was
the students dominating the staff in the cook off.
Both teams had 1 hour to make 3, count them out, 1-2-3 courses of vegetarian
or vegan meals. Even with no Peter Everett in sight, it was a cook off to be
remembered! The victorious student team in true winning style presented
up to the judges a selection of turmeric and hommos canapés on toasted
rye, some super spicy Thai noodles with mixed vegetables, and for dessert
a coconut and lime rice pudding with cinnamon. This was served up with a
green side salad to boot.
Many thanks goes out to all those who helped on the day and came along to
enjoy!
Justine Buckley
Environment Officer MONSU Peninsula
CLUBS DAY
wn by
! Great interest was sho
U Peninsula on clubs day
NS
MO
iversity
for
Un
h
day
nas
at
Mo
gre
a
d
What
newly forme
memberships sold for the
g
Lon
S).
UM
(M
iety
students with plenty of
Soc
iversity Midwifery
Un
h
nas
Mo
and
and
C)
s,
UN
ces
(M
Nursing Club
ke this day a suc
ers and delegates to ma
mb
me
b
clu
NC
by
MU
in
by
put
ed
re
vid
hours we
The banner pro
their marvellous effort.
h other
MONSU thank them for
Gemma Rowan along wit
and
t
har
Urq
h
nna
Ha
by
d
ate
ng
cre
bei
l
b
the nursing clu
looked sensationa
ance were happy to see
end
att
in
nt, a
ts
eve
den
rst
Stu
fi
.
ir
alia
the
paraphern
king forward to
non-existence and are loo
nnah
of
Ha
rs
and
yea
a
er
aft
mm
d
Ge
t
me
tac
for
ret. If interested, con
gus
Au
of
h
13t
on
the
o
on
als
d
and Alive were
‘booze cruise’ hel
om. Parasoc, SOOT, CCM,
il,c
ma
hot
ff
sta
ub@
gcl
and
t
rsin
den
at monashnu
ed by the stu
sts, which was well receiv
ere
int
ir
the
te
mo
pro
to
hand
body.
33
E AT MONSU
N
V
I
R
O
N
M
E
N
T
JUSTINE
WE HAVE ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING
TO DO WITH WHAT GOES
ON, UP, DOWN OR UNDER, IN AND AROUND
WHEN IT COMES TO
ENVIRONMENTAL ISSUES AND DOINGS
HERE ON THE PENINSULA
CAMPUS.
ES SO PLEASE
E IS IMPORTANT IN OUR EY
ANY ENVIRONMENTAL ISSU
IS RUBBING
ABOUT SOMETHING THAT
ME
E
SE
ME
CO
TO
TE
TA
SI
DON’T HE
CLUDING LAST
GIVING YOU THE SH*TS (EX
THAT YOU
YOU UP THE WRONG WAY,
IS CLOSE TO YOUR HEART
AT
TH
E
SU
IS
AN
OR
Y)
RR
NIGHTS CU
ARENESS TO.
WOULD LIKE TO BRING AW
I CAN BE CONTACTED ON EM
AIL, [email protected]
RG.AU OR PEOPLE
CAN POP IN AND SEE ME AT
THE OFFICE!
U CARES A
S SOMEONE LIKE YO
ES
NL
“U
R,
BE
EM
M
AND RE
ING TO GET BETTER.
GO
IS
G
IN
TH
NO
T,
LO
WHOLE AWFUL
USS.
IT’S NOT.” — DR. SE
34
NITY
U
M
M
O
C
,
N
IO
T
A
C
U
D
E
MONSU PENINSULA’S
ITTEE
AND WELFARE COMM
WHO WE ARE:
Bracha Rafael (chair)
Katherine Barber (health student rep)
David Kang (business student rep)
WHAT WE DO…
EVERY SEMESTER:
Student Survival Week (week 4). Don’t drop out of uni! We’re here to help!
There are so many services available on campus that seem to be hiding from
students – but they are here to make our lives easier, and SSW is here to bring
them out into the light of day.
Stress Less Week (week 12)
Chillax, man. Exams? Assignments? Holiday planning? You can do it all! And
once again, we’re here to help. Stick around for free food, good music, and
relaxation/study skills sessions that will see you through those last weeks of
semester…
During semester:
We represent the interests of Peninsula students at University Education
Committee, which deals with academic issues and policies – for example, if
lecturers have been setting work due during Swot Vac en masse, we’ll bring it
up for discussion at EC.
Week-to-week:
MONSU Peninsula has been involved with the Breakfast Club, our weekly
pancake breakfasts in the George Jenkins foyer, since its launch in week 4
of last semester. Drop in from 8:30am onwards, eat some pancakes, drink
some coffee/tea/vodka (kidding!), and have a chat with someone you don’t
recognise… it’s well worth it! (it’s also free)
…and if you have an issue you want to bring to our attention, drop into
building U to see us! Or leave us a note. Or drop us an email – ecw.chair@
monsupeninsula.org.au.
Cheers!
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2009
E
V
I
T
A
I
T
I
TEA IN
G
N
I
N
R
O
EST M
BIGG
SINCE 1994 THE CANCER COUNCIL HAS TAKEN THE PHILOSOPHY ‘EVERY AUSSIE LOVES A CUPPA’ AND RUN WITH IT TO CREATE ONE OF ITS MOST SUCCESSFUL FUNDRAISING EVENTS – AUSTRALIA’S BIGGEST MORNING TEA.
OUR LOVELY MONSU PENINSULA REPRESENTATIVES HOSTED A VERY SUCCESSFUL BIGGEST MORNING TEA ‘ALICE IN WONDERLAND TEA PARTY’ ON THURSDAY
28TH MAY. IN THE NAME OF A GOOD CAUSE STAFF, STUDENTS AND FRIENDS INDULGED IN ALL THOSE YUMMY TREATS THAT YOU MIGHT USUALLY AVOID, SUCH
AS SCONES WITH JAM AND CREAM, DONUTS, SLICES OF CAKES, AND SIPPED
ON A HOT CUP OF TEA OR COFFEE WHILST CATCHING UP ON OFFICE GOSSIP OR
MISSED LECTURE MATERIAL.
A BIG THANKYOU TO EVERYONE INVOLVED, PARTICULARLY THE MONSU PENINSULA REPS FOR THEIR TIME, EFFORT AND ENTHUSIASM IN MAKING THIS EVENT
SO SUCCESSFUL. ANOTHER THANKYOU TO THE CAMPUS BOOKSTORE, FOR DONATING A WONDERFUL RANGE OF COOKBOOKS FOR OUR RAFFLE- CONGRATULATIONS TO THOSE WINNERS! NOT TO MENTION THE SUPPORT FROM THE CAFÉ
FOR DONATING $1 FROM EVERY TEA OR COFFEE SOLD TO
TOGETHER WE RAISED OVER $400, WHICH WILL CERTAINLY GO A LONG WAY TO
HELP CANCER SUFFERERS IN THE FIGHT FOR SURVIVAL!
AT MONSU PENINSULA WE LOOK FORWARD TO OTHER OPPORTUNITIES TO
CREATE COMMUNITY AWARENESS AND APPRECIATE YOUR SUGGESTIONS FOR
FUTURE INITIATIVES!
ASHLIE KIANTOS
MONSU GENERAL REPRESENTATIVE
[email protected]
36
BLACK
+
WHITE
KSON
MICHAEL JAC
TY
TRIBUTE PAR
37
FINAL CONVERSATIONS
OF KINGS
THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT
SCOTT TEMPLETON
The movie The Butterfly
Effect starring the god-awful
Ashton “Demi’s Handbag”
Kutcher was well, god-awful.
But the Brisbane band that
have the unfortunate grace
of sharing its name they go
alright. After roaring radio
and chart success with
second album Imago, the
pressure was on for a third
album. The now veterans of
a bursting local progressive
rock scene have responded
to the pressure and given us
album number three, Final
Conversations of Kings.
Where their previous
works were not without
highlights, they too were
rife with moments of static
and repetition. Momentum
changes this time lead
not towards stagnant
diminuendo but into
surprising upstarts in the
vein of A Perfect Circle or
fellow Australian’s Karnivool.
With Forrester Savvell (of
Karnivool’s “Themata” fame)
on production and recording
duties, TBE have delivered
38
a polished and soulful piece
of progressive rock prose
as current single Window
and the Watcher has shone
is bound to widen their
audience.
Though matured, the
sound remains complex
and uneasy as with the
genre. A theme of conflict
runs from the title right
through to the last chord
struck on album closer Sum
of 1. At first listen this the
album comes across as
stuck between hostile and
uncomfortable, with album
opener Worlds on Fire as
the exception. Running at
nearly seven minutes it’s a
lesson in patience and grace
many lesser heavy bands are
yet to learn. It would take
a clued in listener to pick it
as the Brisbane band and a
naïve one to write it off as
another anthem from Muse.
Some older fans may abhor
the lack of insanity that
had their heads banging in
the beginning. Luckily, they
can find solace in the less
polished and more frantic
live recordings taken from
the Old Places Old Faces
tour that supplement the
studio disc. Or they could
grab a green tea, and maybe
just chill the f*ck out –
either way.
I don’t know many kings,
but I assume this album
must be how their final
conversations go down.
Through a steady flow
of pleasant surprise,
touching on new territory
rife with mood swings and
momentous anthems.
Don’t believe me? Have a
listen yourself!
ESPERANTO HAS 4 COPIES
OF THE BRAND NEW
BUTTERFLY EFFECT ALBUM
TO GIVEAWAY THANKS TO
SONY MUSIC. To Win simply
solve this word Jumble
and be the one of the first
to email your answer to
Esperanto@Monsucaulfield.
org.au with the subject line:
TBE CD giveaway
ZAC’S WARTY PIKE.
------- ------
JACK PILVEN
Karnivool’s sophomore album Sound Awake is like stumbling into a room full of strangers. At first, you
feel uneasy and are hesitant to familiarise yourself with those around you. However, gradually you
begin to mingle with the crowd and discover some truly fascinating people. Like the occupants of this
room, the songs on Sound Awake take patience and persistence, yet give them the time, and they
reveal a truly captivating album.
Straying away from the more conventional hook-laden sounds of their debut, Karnivool delve into
much more atmospheric and unconventional territory on Sound Awake. Instead of writing songs
that will be instantly remembered by a catchy chorus or riff, the group challenges their audience
with sprawling prog-rock numbers that are littered with complex time signatures and disorientating
KARNIVOOL- SOUND AWAKE
bass and guitar noise. While many of the tracks are not an easy listen at first, subsequent spins of
the album reveal a song writing finesse that was not apparent on their earlier work. Whether it’s
the jagged, staccato crunch of punishing first single “Set Fire to the Hive” or moments of ambience
during “Umbra”, the experimentation on the album makes it one worth going over many times.
Whilst the music on the album holds its own ground, it is no secret that the record is still very
dependent on the vocals of Ian Kenny. The front man can summon a commanding wail one minute
and then use a subtle croon to act as an antidote to the fury and chaos of more abrasive sections the
next. Like his work in Birds of Tokyo, Kenny has the ability to instill a great deal of emotion and depth
into the songs with both his lyrics and voice.
This album will take time to appreciate. It may not be quite as immediately obvious as its precursor,
but Sound Awake will award those who have the patience to decipher its many intricacies and
moments of brilliance.
39
a
Company
DID YOU KNOW?
We have things you need and stuff you want!
We donÕ t just sell textbooks!
YOU (students) are the focus of everything
we do.
Spend your money hereÉ and it stays hereÉ
profits go back to supporting student
servicesÉ MONSU.
Everyone is welcome in our stores! Not only
do we serve you guys, we are also open to
the general publicÉ your friends can shop
here too!
40
a
Company
DID YOU KNOW?
We have seven stores servicing Holmesglen,
Chisholm, Australian Catholic University and
Monash.
We employ students during our busiest
times.
We will do our best to get you what you
want, as quickly as possible.
You can order stuff through our website:
www.thecampusbookstore.com
Bring your friends, browse around, have a
chat...and stay a while.
41
ARTISTS SPOTLIGHT
M
A
E
K
T
R
A
U
ST
IF YOU COULD LIVE
WITHIN ANY PAINTING, WHICH WOULD
IT BE?
Anything by Russ Mills,
because his stuff is
dynamic and intense.
IF YOU COULD LIVE
WITHIN ANY SWAYZE
FILM, WHICH WOULD
IT BE?
Donnie Darko, because
it’s an awesome film.
WHAT DO YOU
THINK OF THAT
ESCHER PAINTING?
YOU KNOW THE
ONE STEWIE CALLS
“CRAZY STAIRS”?
It’s called “relativity”
and it’s interesting, if
only rooms like that
existed.
IS PATRICK SWAYZE
YOUR HERO? OR
SIMPLY AN IDOL?
Both.
42
IF YOU TYPE YOUR
NAME IN GOOGLE
WHAT COMES UP?
Links to my MySpace,
Facebook, my Blog and
the site for the basketball
teams I coach…it also
tries to correct my name
to Stuart Kean.
ART FOR YOU: A
PASSION, HOBBY OR
CAREER?
All three….I love what I
do, I do it all the time,
and I want to continue
doing it into the future.
SOME PEOPLE LOVE
ART BECAUSE “IT
TELLS A STORY”
(A.K.A THE ‘ART
LOVING STORY
WANKERS’) - IF YOUR
PIECES TOLD A STORY,
HOW WOULD IT END?
However the viewer
wants it to end.
THANKS FOR YOUR
TIME. ANY QUESTIONS?
Anytime.
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