Issue 5 October 2010 Welcome to the 5th Issue of the Every Day with ADHD Newsletter Inside this Issue: 1 A word from Kerry New Support 1 Hello everyone Top 20 Tips 2 Wow! This year has flown. I seem to say that every year?!? In Addition 3 Those of you who have been following our National Tour this year know how busy we have been. A word from Kerry Let us know what 3 you think A Positive - 3 Thank you to everyone who attended the workshops whether in Queensland, NSW, Victoria or Tasmania. It was lovely to meet so many. Term 4 seems like a good time to reflect on the past year as well as prepare for the upcoming holidays. Remember the strengths Thom Hartmann 4 From the Book 5 In this newsletter I have tried to sum up the essence of Every Day with ADHD’s beliefs about how wonderful our children can be and how to bring out the best in them. Please remember to keep checking our website as it is being added to all the time. Activities School Holiday Ideas 5 Transition 6 Feedback What people have said 6 2010 Workshop Calendar 7 2011 Workshops 8 Interested in a Workshop or Training in your area 8 Enjoy the reminders and the rest of the year. Hope to hear from you next year. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Kerry Cooney & Steve Oldham New Support ADHD Social Network and Chat Room We invite you to join our Social Network ADHD Support - Every Day with ADHD on Grouply, it is free, and connect with others on http://everydaywithadhd.grouply.com. Share your questions, answers and experiences with others. Over the last few months a number of additional Australian Social Networks have been established. Please feel free to visit them especially those in your area. New South Wales Coffs Harbour - Emma Rhoades's Page - http://kidswithadhd.ning.com South Australia Mount Gambier - ADHD In The Mount - ADHD uncovered - http://adhdinthemount.grouply.com Tasmania Hobart - ADHD Australia - Positive Support, Positive Futures - http://adhdaustralia.ning.com Information Sheets Additional information is continually being added to our website information sheets page. Check it out. Issue 5 Page 2 Top 20 Tips The Top Tip 1. Find your child‘s talents, skills and strengths. Harness these and encourage them to follow their passion/s. 2. Stop apologising – You did not cause or create your child‘s behaviour. Accept that you have a child who is different and therefore the management of that child will need to be different. Others do not need to understand – you do. 3. The ratio of positive to negative comments that the average person requires for a healthy self esteem is three to one. Make this your goal for your child. 4. Set limits – If you are not absolutely certain about the behaviours you want in your home, you will never achieve them. Your child needs to know what is expected of him/her. All rules that are going to be reinforced must be clearly explained ahead of time. 5. Confrontation – Where possible avoid arguments. Ignore minor transgressions and turn your back on the child when he/she displays inappropriate behaviour. 6. Discipline – Use disciplinary actions sparingly. Children with ADHD do not learn well when disciplined harshly and regularly. Rewarding good behaviour needs to be done immediately an action is undertaken, not at the end of a day. 7. Anger – Allow the child to vent his/her frustration. Stand and listen empathetically. Teach required anger management strategies when the child is not angry. 8. Listen – Practice listening without judgment more than talking, correcting and giving orders. 9. Organisation – You need to become organised because, neurologically, your child cannot be. Use lists and routines to help in this process. 10. Activities – Plan for boredom. To remain occupied and challenged your child needs multiple activities all day, every day. 11. Calming – When your child is aggravated allow for quiet time or direct him/her towards water to either play, have a shower or a bath. 12. Instructions need to be clear, simple and in plain language all the time. No more than one or two tasks at a time. 13. School – Do not feel inadequate when approaching the child‘s school. You know your child better than any teacher does. Ask the teacher which are the most troublesome times for your child and then you may be able to suggest possible strategies. 14. Homework – I prefer no homework except reading in primary school. If necessary ten minutes a night, no more (and use a timer). Often highly successful people are driven and follow their passion. 15. Tutor – If you believe your child would benefit from engaging a tutor then homework tasks should be used as the subject matter. 16. After school – Your child has built up emotion from the school day. The requirements are food, drink and at least half an hour of personal time. Keep others away. 17. Choice – Too many choices cause frustration and anxiety. Give only two and don‘t worry which one is chosen. This does not mean they get along well with others. 18. Mornings – Use visual cues more than verbal ones. Make a list or chart that the child can use to keep on track. Timers can be used to remind the child. 19. Bedtime – Start the bedtime routine well before it is time for bed. In your routine include dinner time, bath time, some TV and a story in bed before lights out. Try not to stray from your plan. 20. Eating – Children with ADHD are happier as grazers. Leave a plate of food that they can access when they want to. Avoid nagging about their food intake. Did you know? Famous people do not necessarily cope with social involvement. Issue 5 Page 3 In Addition Outbursts – These are usually caused by heightened frustration and anxiety. Continued frustration leads to anger, increased anger leads to aggression in all of its forms, including outbursts. When an outburst occurs it is the wrong time to deal with any issue. Walk away while making sure that others around the child with ADHD are safe. Solution – Decrease frustration and anxiety. We know How? By implementing strategies for each of the characteristics that cause concern for your child, one by one. Not all children are the same Steps: Don’t we a. Make a list of the issues that are causing the most concern. b. Ensure that you have a complete understanding of each issue. c. Decide what strategies you will put in place for each issue. d. Work through the issues one at a time. Let us know what you think If you:  Have been to one of our workshops  Are a regular Newsletter Reader  Used our Information Page  Read our book, or  Joined our Social Network We would welcome your feedback both positive and negative and would be pleased to hear from you through our website Comments Page or by direct email to [email protected] A Positive Remember the strengths Many children with ADHD have an above average IQ and have an innate ability to think laterally. If ever there is a problem to be solved those with ADHD will solve it as they are extremely creative. They also:  Have the ability to see things as they could be and do not understand why it is not done already.  Have a huge amount of energy that can translate into increased work output.  Are committed and loyal individuals.  Are extremely sensitive and generally empathise with weaker children or animals.  Are assertive with an unwavering character.  Are risk takers and decision makers.  Have the ability to be flexible and adaptable within their environment. There are many famous people who are said to have/had ADHD or a learning disability. In researching, there is one common theme I noted for all the successful people cited, namely, regardless of the difficulties they experienced in childhood they invariably followed their passion. They include Richard Branson, Bill Gates, Angry Anderson, Mel Gibson, Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Cruise, Sylvester Stallone, Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison and many more. Here is what Thom Hartmann has to say on your child‘s strengths Issue 5 Page 4 Thom Hartmann - the author of 8 books on ADHD No studies I know of have looked for ADHD children who are functioning well in school, or ADHD adults who are functioning well in life (although we all know of examples of the latter, from actors to entrepreneurs to inventors to artists). Because publications of the psychology and psychiatry industries concern themselves only with pathology (there is no listing for "normal" in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of The American Psychiatric Association, for example), it should not surprise us that they find it. Nor should it surprise us that they wouldn‘t bother to look for or at those who are not "failing" in society, and thus not potential customers. Thus, people like multi-millionaire entrepreneur Wilson Harrell (former publisher of Inc. Magazine and founder of the Formula 409 Company) are completely overlooked. Harrell, in his book For Entrepreneurs Only, devotes two chapters to his own ADHD and his belief that ADHD is "essential" for the success of an entrepreneur. Similarly, those who don‘t care to look for ADHD among the ranks of the successful would overlook Harvard psychiatrists and professors of psychiatry, Drs. John Ratey and Edward Hallowell, authors of the best-selling book Driven to Distraction, in which they state explicitly that they each "have ADD." In fact, several studies have provided us with hints that ADHD may be useful somehow, somewhere, sometime. One of the most interesting was a Washington University study in which ADHD persons were tested against "normal" controls for their ability to handle emergencies: what the study‘s authors called "urgent tasks." The abstract reads: Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) has been proposed to represent adaptive responding to highly urgent situations in primitive hunting. In the present study, 31 adults with self -reported ADHD were compared with 33 normal adults on a newly developed, 10-item measure of urgent task involvement. The internal consistency of the scale was suitable, and the group with ADHD scored significantly higher than the control group, as predicted. While this was the first study to demonstrate that people with ADHD had some advantage in some circumstances over others, many previous studies offer tantalizing glimpses which the researchers chose not to pursue. For example, one study found that while "normal" children‘s ability to read or perform tasks requiring vigilance deteriorated when they were "distracted" by high levels of external stimulation, ADHD children‘s scores actually improved. Another study found that boys with ADHD calmed down when they were in highly stimulating environments, whereas "normal" children would crash-and-burn under such circumstances. An article in The Journal of Creative Behavior by University of Georgia‘s Bonnie Cramond asks the question in its abstract: "There are so many similarities in the behavioral descriptions of creativity and ADHD that one is left to wonder, could these be overlapping phenomena?" The article goes on to suggest that a thorough search of the literature in both fields would imply the answer is yes. It concludes: ―Perhaps individuals who have trouble with verbal learning but have a very imaginative, visual manner of thinking will be considered at the forefront of innovation in our society rather than as problem learners. Taken together, the results of these studies and others like them are indicative of a childhood syndrome characterized by hyperactivity and high intelligence, in which personality variables, modes of cognitive representation and creativity are intimately bound.‖ Instead of trying to rid ourselves of ADHD children, our society would be far better served were we to ask, "How can we acknowledge and honor the individuality of each of our children, and provide settings in which each can develop into a happy, effective, and caring adult?" Were we to provide education that acknowledges the differences in the way people learn, we might soon be tapping a source of creativity that could be useful to our entire society. But to do that would require that we open ourselves up to the possibility that the kinds of skills we reward today may not be the only worthwhile skills—and that would open the question of whether the way we organized our society itself was the only or best way to create a society. When such questions are on the agenda, ADHD children look much more like a symptom of a society which itself may be severely dysfunctional. If we cannot find the tools to reorganize our world immediately, we at least ought to do what we can to prevent educational and eugenic philosophies that seek to obliterate the beings of those who do not fit into this distorted reality. Originally published in Tikkun Magazine Copyright © 1999, 2000, 2001 by Thom Hartmann, all rights reserved. Issue 5 Page 5 From The Book Activities Mindset Relationships are not formed without effort. This is another social truth that children with ADHD, and many others, need to learn. But until they do we can help them along the way. Strategies:  Make time for your child to invite a person home. One to one is usually better for children with ADHD - not too much stress.  Plan the time very carefully. For example, have some special food and drink to offer, play the play station or basketball for a time at home then take the children swimming; more food then drop the visitor home. This does not allow much time for boredom or anxiety.  Less is more in this situation. In other words, don‘t plan for an entire day of company but rather a few hours. As friendship grows, so can the time. If your child or teen shows skill in any area encourage this activity. The feeling of being good at something will make a huge difference to the child‘s social scene particularly when he becomes a teenager. School Holiday Ideas  Plan ahead of time. You probably know when the trouble spots are likely to occur so get in first.  Keep some small toys or activity based items in the wardrobe. Bring these out when real boredom is at smouldering point.  If there is an indoor swimming centre near you, use this whenever necessary and on the spur of the moment as a calming and physical activity. Start putting money aside now.  Decide on any outings ahead of time and make these known about one week before.  Get some old tyres for a back yard activity.  Have a spade and some seeds or small plants ready for gardening.  Invite one child over for a visit and thoroughly plan the time by 15 minute slots if necessary. This helps ensure less anxiety and boredom.  Start to collect boxes of all sizes.  Build on your child‘s interests and skills. A sports clinic, extra music lessons, a local holiday activity.  If there are activities which suit your child through the local vacation care enrol in these.  Avoid late bedtimes because it is holidays. This will only add to fatigue and lower frustration tolerance.  Avoid too many holiday food treats as this will increase irritability.  Go bush walking or cycling. Many localities have tracks.  Take the time to think about what will keep your child and family occupied and content over the holiday break. Issue 5 Page 6 Transition Whether the move is from home to child care; childcare to kinder; kinder to primary school; or primary school to secondary school, there are ways to alleviate some angst. If possible, visit the grounds of the new premise on weekends to ride a bike, play on a basketball court or simply to walk through. This will build familiarisation with the environment. Attend special performances at the venue, for example, concerts, carols or sports. Arrange with the principal, vice principal or welfare coordinator to visit the premise during in class times first; and then during a recess or lunch break. Talk about what is to be done at these break times and give alternatives. If possible, introduce your child to their new teacher and visit that teacher a couple of time. Arrange to visit the classroom to be used next year talking about the desks, lockers, bag areas etc. Arrange for a school timetable for your child so the visual concept can be frame worked. Talk about and practice colour coding of subjects and books. Find out the school rules and discuss these over time. If a combination lock is to be used for a locker, buy ahead of time and allow child to practice. If a key lock is to be used, have some extras cut and left at the office and at home. Set up a ‗go to‘ person for your child in case of any problems. (This needs to be a guilt free situation). Establish homework expectations from the very beginning:  How much is expected taking into account ADHD and/or a learning disability  Alternatives to weaknesses eg Dictaphone and typing it up instead of hand writing  Organise a method of the child or you receiving homework set each day. Feedback - What people have said From Our Social Network Hi .., Thanks for the reply. This website is great. I wish I had found it earlier. I have read most comments and it is so good to hear others go through similar things and know that they understand. I have just stumbled across this site, and wished I had known about it before. It is refreshing to read the posts from Aussies, as all other sites I have found are US based. Hi everyone! I found out about this group through my school's P&C. I eagerly read all your forum's and am beginning to wonder if my child actually has ADHD. From our Enquiry Page I have no enquiry but some advice. I live with two people in my family with ADHD. I see it not as a problem but as a gift. They are both highly creative people and very successful in their fields. The youngest is medicated and since being so has done nothing but excelled in his chosen field - school could not an did not want to deal with his situation and as a teacher myself this was disappointing however he will pass his class mates in work experience and TAFE quals by leaving in yr 10. He is an extremely mature 18 yr old and the best thing for him has been medication. People need to get over the stigma associated with the term ADHD, the medication and the supposed family shame - no on in this world is perfect. Issue 5 Page 7 Pathways to Success Workshops Term 4 2010 Queensland Location Date Workshop Type  Mackay Mon, Oct 11th 7:00-9:00pm General Workshop  Rockhampton Tue, Oct 12th 7:00-9:00pm General Workshop  Gladstone Wed, Oct 13th 7:00-9:00pm General Workshop  Bundaberg Thu, Oct 14th 7:00-9:00pm General Workshop  Gympie Mon, Oct 18th 7:00-9:00pm General Workshop  Nambour Tue, Oct 19th 7:00-9:00pm General Workshop  Strathpine Thu, Oct 21st 7:00-9:00pm General Workshop  Brisbane Mon, Oct 25th 7:00-9:00pm General Workshop  Ipswich Tue, Oct 26th 7:00-9:00pm General Workshop  Toowoomba Thu, Oct 28th 7:00-9:00pm General Workshop  Toowoomba Mon, Nov 1st 5:30-9:30pm Practical Behaviour Management  Brisbane Wed, Nov 3rd 5:30-9:30pm Practical Behaviour Management  Brisbane Thu, Nov 4th & Fri, Nov 5th 9:00am4:00pm Train the Trainer in ADHD Facilitation  Bundaberg Mon, Nov 8th 5:30-9:30pm Practical Behaviour Management  Bundaberg Wed, Nov 10th & Thu, Nov 11th 9:00am-4:00pm Train the Trainer in ADHD Facilitation  Gladstone Mon, Nov 15th 5:30-9:30pm Practical Behaviour Management  Rockhampton Wed, Nov 17th 5:30-9:30pm Practical Behaviour Management  Rockhampton Thu, Nov 18th & Fri, Nov 19th 9:00am4:00pm Train the Trainer in ADHD Facilitation  Mackay Mon, Nov 22nd 5:30-9:30pm Practical Behaviour Management  Mackay Wed, Nov 24th & Thu, Nov 25th 9:00am-4:00pm Train the Trainer in ADHD Facilitation  Townsville Mon, Nov 29th, 7:00-9:00pm General Workshop  Townsville Tue, Nov 30th, 12:30-4:30pm Practical Behaviour Management  Townsville Thu, Dec 2nd & Fri, Dec 3rd, 9:00am4:00pm Train the Trainer in ADHD Facilitation Please keep and eye on our Workshop Dates Page for dates as they are scheduled or register to receive newsletters and workshop updates via our website www.everydaywithadhd.com.au or go straight to our sign up page Issue 5 Page 8 2011 Workshops The following Pathways to Success Workshops will be delivered in 2011. Please keep and eye on our Workshop Dates Page for dates as they are scheduled or register to receive newsletters and workshop updates via our website www.everydaywithadhd.com.au or go straight to our sign up page General Workshop 2 Hours This workshop is designed to provide participants with a greater understanding of the issues that impact the child‘s behaviour and learning. It offers practical suggestions and starting points for managing the challenging child. Questions are answered throughout the workshop and relevant examples given. Read outline on line To enquire Click here or email us at [email protected] Practical Behaviour Management Workshop 4 Hours Pre requisite: Attendance at a 2 hour General Workshop. This workshop builds on the understandings and knowledge gained from the general workshop. It is a hands on, interactive learning session where behaviours and strategies are worked through to a personalised action plan. Each participant has the opportunity to take away a working behaviour management program that can be implemented immediately. Read outline on line To enquire Click here or email us at [email protected] Train the Trainer 2 Day workshop Pre requisite: Attendance at a 2 hour General Workshop. This workshop is designed for professionals who are interested in conducting parenting courses for parents of children with ADHD, Specific Learning Disabilities or Challenging behaviours. It is important to recognise that general parenting strategies rarely have a behaviour changing impact on these children and often leave the parents feeling all the more inadequate. The course is based on strategies proven to be the catalyst for life changing results for hundreds of families. Read outline on line Interested in a Workshop or Training in your Area To enquire Click here or email us at [email protected] If you have an enquire about:  Train the Trainer Course for your staff  Professional Development Sessions  Specific training requirements  Host one of our workshops Please complete our Expression Of Interest Form Every Day with ADHD P O Box 7789 Cairns Qld 4870 Australia E-mail: [email protected] Website: www.everydaywithadhd.com.au Social Networking: ADHD Support - Every Day with ADHD http://everydaywithadhd.grouply.com YouTube Channel: www.youtube.com/user/everydaywithadhd