Sample Comedic Monologues for Kids and Teens Boys/Girls Age 4-7

Sample Comedic Monologues for Kids and Teens
Boys/Girls Age 4-7
New Sister
Today I got a new sister. Everyone else thinks she’s so cute, but I don’t see what the big deal is.
She cries all the time and everyone’s always making all these funny faces and sounds around
her. Plus, mom and dad don’t get any sleep at night because the baby keeps them up. It’s not
my fault; I asked for a puppy.
Boys/Girls Age 7-10
The Tooth Fairy
Yesterday I lost my first tooth. Dad told me all I have to do is put it under my pillow and a fairy
would come and take it and then leave me some money. But I have a question. How much
money are we talking about here? To tell you the truth, it’s going to have to be a lot or I say no
deal. I mean seriously, some fairy is going to come through my window in the middle of the
night and reach under my pillow probably scaring the crap out of me and you want to tell me
that’s worth a quarter. I don’t think so.
Boys Age 11-14
Man of the House
My grandfather called me today to tell me I am the man of the house. (gesturing) Yes!! I get to
be the grownup around here. (pauses) Honestly I’m not really sure what that means. Maybe I
have to talk at the TV a lot even though I know no one can hear me. (mocking an adult at the
TV) “Would anyone seriously ever buy that stuff?” “Hey Ref, did your mama teach you how to
play ball?” Or maybe it means mom will give me a list of groceries and I’ll be allowed to forget
half the things on the list even though she called to remind me and sent me an email…twice.
Will I be able to stay up late? Will I have to start shaving? Do I have to take my sister to her
dance recitals? Yuck. On second thought, does anyone else want to be the man of the house?
Copyright 2009 Children In Film, Inc. All rights reserved
Girls Age 11-14
Goldie Locks
You think it’s easy being Goldie Locks? I don’t think so. I mean sure, I’ve got these gorgeous
blue eyes and long blonde hair that’ll open up pretty much any door, but it’s no walk in the
park, I tell ya! I mean what’s a girl gotta do around here to get a good snack? I’m either
sampling porridge that’s freezing cold or molten lava hot. And then when I’m so overstuffed
from all the taste testing I can’t even find a decent bed to lie down in. Too soft, too hard. As
Erwin says, “You’re killing me Larry!”
Boy/Girl Age 15-18
Youtube Star
Call it selling out, if you’d like, but I’m going to be a star. I figured it out. It’s pretty simple. I
can’t believe I didn’t think of this before. I’m going to be a star on youtube. I mean if a water
skiing squirrel can make it big, so can I. Now if I could just come up with something great to talk
about. Oh wait, I’ve got it – Me!
Copyright 2009 Children In Film, Inc. All rights reserved