Sample Comedic Monologues for Kids and Teens Boys/Girls Age 4-7 New Sister Today I got a new sister. Everyone else thinks she’s so cute, but I don’t see what the big deal is. She cries all the time and everyone’s always making all these funny faces and sounds around her. Plus, mom and dad don’t get any sleep at night because the baby keeps them up. It’s not my fault; I asked for a puppy. Boys/Girls Age 7-10 The Tooth Fairy Yesterday I lost my first tooth. Dad told me all I have to do is put it under my pillow and a fairy would come and take it and then leave me some money. But I have a question. How much money are we talking about here? To tell you the truth, it’s going to have to be a lot or I say no deal. I mean seriously, some fairy is going to come through my window in the middle of the night and reach under my pillow probably scaring the crap out of me and you want to tell me that’s worth a quarter. I don’t think so. Boys Age 11-14 Man of the House My grandfather called me today to tell me I am the man of the house. (gesturing) Yes!! I get to be the grownup around here. (pauses) Honestly I’m not really sure what that means. Maybe I have to talk at the TV a lot even though I know no one can hear me. (mocking an adult at the TV) “Would anyone seriously ever buy that stuff?” “Hey Ref, did your mama teach you how to play ball?” Or maybe it means mom will give me a list of groceries and I’ll be allowed to forget half the things on the list even though she called to remind me and sent me an email…twice. Will I be able to stay up late? Will I have to start shaving? Do I have to take my sister to her dance recitals? Yuck. On second thought, does anyone else want to be the man of the house? Copyright 2009 Children In Film, Inc. All rights reserved Girls Age 11-14 Goldie Locks You think it’s easy being Goldie Locks? I don’t think so. I mean sure, I’ve got these gorgeous blue eyes and long blonde hair that’ll open up pretty much any door, but it’s no walk in the park, I tell ya! I mean what’s a girl gotta do around here to get a good snack? I’m either sampling porridge that’s freezing cold or molten lava hot. And then when I’m so overstuffed from all the taste testing I can’t even find a decent bed to lie down in. Too soft, too hard. As Erwin says, “You’re killing me Larry!” Boy/Girl Age 15-18 Youtube Star Call it selling out, if you’d like, but I’m going to be a star. I figured it out. It’s pretty simple. I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before. I’m going to be a star on youtube. I mean if a water skiing squirrel can make it big, so can I. Now if I could just come up with something great to talk about. Oh wait, I’ve got it – Me! Copyright 2009 Children In Film, Inc. All rights reserved