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Looking at Life ● 2
Looking at Life Through the Lesson Lenses
Looking at Life ● 3
Also by Dr. Jodi Ashbrook:
The Be Brand® Inspirational Tees
The Joga Workshop Experience™
For more information, please visit:
http://www.bebydesigntees.com/
http://jodiashbrook.com/coming-soon/
Looking at Life ● 4
LOOKING AT LIFE
THROUGH THE LESSON
LENSES
Turning Everyday Experiences Into Transformational Life Lessons
Dr. Jodi Ashbrook
Army of Angels Press – A division of Dr. Jodi, Inc.
Looking at Life ● 5
Copyright © 2015 by Dr. Jodi Ashbrook
Published and distributed in the United States by: Army of Angels Press – a
division of Dr. Jodi, Inc.: www.jodiashbrook.com ©.
Cover design: Cameron Kruse ● Interior Photos: Mindi Sokoloski ● Interior
design: Cameron Kruse
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced by any
mechanical, photographic, or electronic process, or in the form of a
photographic recording other than for “fair use” as brief quotations
embodied in articles and reviews without written permission from the
publisher.
The author of this book is not a medical professional and therefore does not
dispense medical advice. The intent of this book is to provide guidance of a
general nature for your personal growth and development. In the event you
use any of the information in this book for yourself, the author and the
publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.
Looking at Life ● 6
This book is dedicated
to anyone who has
experienced those
times of feeling
challenged,
overwhelmed, weak,
confused or lost on
your journey.
When those times
happen, always
remember, to put one
foot in front of the
other and you will
eventually reach the
light at the end of the
tunnel.
Looking at Life ● 7
Contents
Contents .................................................................................................................................................. 8
Introduction .......................................................................................................................................... 11
Looking Through the Lens on Relationships ......................................................................................... 14
Be the Creator of Your Happiness ......................................................................................................... 15
Just Be ................................................................................................................................................... 16
Be Content with Your Intent ................................................................................................................. 18
The Next Time You Judge Someone Else…Remember This. ................................................................. 19
Be Patient with Success ........................................................................................................................ 20
What I Learned from Running ............................................................................................................... 23
The Secret of Losing Weight ................................................................................................................. 25
Be Able to Trust Yourself....................................................................................................................... 26
Lessons from Climbing 7,200 Feet ........................................................................................................ 28
Be Quiet and Practice............................................................................................................................ 29
Be Your Best Today ............................................................................................................................... 30
Life is About the Moments.................................................................................................................... 34
Be Willing to Go With the Flow ............................................................................................................. 36
What Gift Are You Meant to Share With The World?........................................................................... 37
Be Aware of Your Energy Investment ................................................................................................... 39
What Can You Learn? ............................................................................................................................ 40
Are You Listening for the Lessons? ....................................................................................................... 41
The Lesson of the Full Moon, Oak Tree and Red Triangle .................................................................... 42
Learn. Grow. Teach. Repeat. ................................................................................................................. 43
Be a Warrior .......................................................................................................................................... 44
Be Creative ............................................................................................................................................ 46
Looking at Life ● 8
Be Five Years Old Again ......................................................................................................................... 47
Why Didn’t You Try New Things? .......................................................................................................... 50
Be the Creator of Your Destiny ............................................................................................................. 51
Be for You.............................................................................................................................................. 54
Be Just As You Are ................................................................................................................................. 55
Discover the Real You Over and Over Again ......................................................................................... 56
“Come On Baby Light My Fire.” ............................................................................................................ 57
Be Clear on Your Vision ......................................................................................................................... 58
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall .................................................................................................................... 60
Be a Genie and Grant Your Wishes ....................................................................................................... 61
10 Lessons You Can Learn from Driving Your Car ................................................................................. 64
What Cleaning Can Teach You .............................................................................................................. 65
Be Playful............................................................................................................................................... 66
What I Learned by Going Back to High School ...................................................................................... 68
The Power of Letting Go ....................................................................................................................... 69
Five Things Mom Always Said...What Did They Really Mean?.............................................................. 71
Be Committed ....................................................................................................................................... 72
Be Like the Ocean…Make a Wave ......................................................................................................... 73
Run and Win YOUR Race ....................................................................................................................... 74
“Sometimes You Just Need to Be Fearless” .......................................................................................... 76
Be Strong. Boston Strong. ..................................................................................................................... 78
12.5 Life Lessons Learned in Key West ................................................................................................. 82
Looking through the Life Lenses on Decisions ...................................................................................... 84
Map = Direction....Next Time...Look at the Map! ................................................................................. 85
Be a Risk Taker ...................................................................................................................................... 87
Be Ready to Just Start Over................................................................................................................... 89
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Be a Believer ......................................................................................................................................... 90
One Foot In Front of the Other to Las Vegas I Go! ............................................................................... 92
Be the Leader You Would Follow .......................................................................................................... 96
What do You Want to Be Known For? .................................................................................................. 97
Be Responsible for Your Energy ............................................................................................................ 99
Be Strong and Build Your Strength...................................................................................................... 101
Be Thoughtful...................................................................................................................................... 102
A Recipe to Create Your Own Kind of Magic....................................................................................... 103
Be Proud.............................................................................................................................................. 105
Be Ready ............................................................................................................................................. 106
Be Responsible for Your Thoughts ...................................................................................................... 107
Be Patient with Time ........................................................................................................................... 109
Be Your Own Hero............................................................................................................................... 110
Be the Rock ......................................................................................................................................... 111
Be the Leader of Your Life ................................................................................................................... 112
One Chapter Closes and Another Begins… ......................................................................................... 114
Acknowledgements............................................................................................................................. 117
About the Author ................................................................................................................................ 118
Other Available Self-Help Tools .......................................................................................................... 121
Looking at Life ● 10
Introduction
I have learned over the years it doesn’t do
me any good to place blame on people,
circumstances or things for the challenging
experiences I have encountered. Instead, I
have embraced all of those hard times and
used them as lessons. The lessons in this
book have taught me how to be me my
best self, live my best life and have shown
me the way to serve others. I did not learn
these lessons right away. A few of these
lessons took me years to learn, like bad
pennies – they kept showing up in different
situations with different teachers; a cycle that would continue until I made
the choice to look in the mirror, take responsibility and learn my lessons. I
share my story with you in the hopes that it may help you to overcome your
own hurdles, allow for you to find messages in your life as lessons that can
seem so painful, excruciating and eternal. While many experiences we
encounter in life can be challenging and hurtful, these times can also propel
you into your greatness…your purpose. If you are ready, grab a notepad,
open your mind and create some space for reflection and growth. If you
allow yourself, these lessons may teach you more than you ever wanted to
know. These lessons may teach you about your habits, behaviors and most
importantly move blocks that are standing in the way of you creating what
you want to contribute to the world.
Looking at Life ● 11
Looking at Life ● 12
LESSONS FROM RELATIONSHIPS,
JUDGMENTS, UNMET EXPECTATIONS,
DISAPPOINT MENTS, FAILURE AND
FRUSTRATION
Looking at Life ● 13
Looking Through the Lens on Relationships
At any point in life experiences happen to help you understand who and
what you want to surround yourself with and who is really there to support
you along the way.
People can call themselves friends, significant others, husbands, wives,
mothers, and fathers, but it is action that counts in the end. The label people
give themselves to be a part of your life as a form of entitlement is
irrelevant.
Once you make the choice of who adds value to your world in each phase of
your growth, those who no longer fit, become people you have had
awesome experiences with and will always have a place in your heart for
what once was.
The reality is, it no longer serves to help you grow. It doesn't mean they are
bad people, it just means they are in a different part of their life and you've
grown apart.
There comes a time when it is a about making a choice of who and what
adds to you, not what depletes you. From that space, you make a choice to
let go of what no longer serves you with love and move forward to fulfill
your purpose.
At any point in life, experiences happen to help you understand who and
what you want to surround yourself with on your journey. These
experiences help you to see who is really there to support you along the
way. No one is entitled to your energy without you making a choice to give it
to them.
Looking at Life ● 14
Be the Creator of Your Happiness
Have you ever experienced a connection with certain places or people that
eventually you knew deep down you had outgrown?
When you make the decision to make a life change with places or
relationships it is common to miss what you once had and cling to the
comfort of what you used to know.
We may feel as though relationships help us to change the way we view and
feel about ourselves. Eventually, the mirage of this short-term fix will begin
to fade and the lack of internal happiness and fulfillment with oneself
eventually resurfaces leaving a hole.
Have there been times in your life, when you took on full responsibility
for the unhappiness of others?
You may have also projected your happiness onto another person as their
responsibility, while simultaneously trying to find enough purpose or value
in yourself to stand on your own two feet.
When you experienced these times, the only option you may have seen was
to work so hard at your relationships and your work to proving to the world
why you deserve to exist.
This strategy of working to prove yourself is exhausting, unfulfilling and
creates a never-ending stretch of seeking approval and needing validation
from people and things outside of yourself.
Essentially, living in a space of proving yourself will keep you from being able
to create your own happiness.
Constantly trying to prove yourself will keep you from being able to create
your own happiness because you are in a constant state of relying on
Looking at Life ● 15
people, things and experiences outside of yourself to build your worth and
value.
This lesson may be one of the most powerful and difficult to learn.
Here are a few things I remind myself of every day:
o I am responsible for how you feel about myself.
o I am responsible for taking action to write my own story.
o I am responsible for creating my own happiness.
o I am responsible for creating my own reality.
It is common to ask the question, who or what will make you happy?
When the real question is, do you believe you are worth making the effort to
take responsibility and create happiness for yourself?
Just Be
Have you ever had expectations of how other people should be?
What others should do?
How they should think and feel?
Have you ever experienced disappointment when that person or situation
didn't meet your expectations?
Have you ever been angry and blame someone for not showing up how you
were expecting they would show up?
The lesson here is that your responsibility is not to dictate or have
expectations of what others should do, think or feel.
Your responsibility is to live up to the expectations you set for yourself. Only
then can you create the experience what you envision for your life.
Looking at Life ● 16
Over time, you may realize the only thoughts, feelings or actions you have
control over were your own. You can’t and won’t be able to control the
thoughts, actions or behaviors of others.
Personally, this lesson taught me that I had to be the person I was expecting
everyone else to be.
Your learning will also help you to understand when you focus on setting
expectations around your own thoughts, behaviors, and actions, the
expectations you had of others no longer mattered.
How you expected other people to act, feel, think and behave no longer
influenced your personal experience because your focus was shifted to how
you expected yourself to behave, act, think and feel.
Through setting expectations for yourself and focusing on living up to your
own expectations, you naturally allow others to be themselves. Allow them
to act, think and feel however they thought made the most sense.
Let them be who they are comfortable being. It allows you to appreciate
people for who they are rather than who you think they should be.
It is only with our own actions and behaviors that we can truly by a leader of
our own lives and be accepting and appreciative of each person we
encounter along our journey.
As a result of this lesson along the journey, you may find you, yourself, are
able to just be.
Be without expectation.
Be without disappointment.
Be without judgment.
Just Be.
Looking at Life ● 17
Be Content with Your Intent
Somewhere along the way, we fool ourselves into thinking more is better.
We tell ourselves, it isn’t enough.
Define it to be whatever that means for you in your life.
We want and believe we need more.
When we believe this, we are really saying, we aren’t enough.
Therefore, we always want more, more of whatever it is that you are
seeking. Relationships, food, money, spending, or communication, but in
all actuality, chances are, you don't need whatever it is you think you need.
You know when you move too fast. No matter how much or what it is,
nothing ever feels like enough.
The intention to do well is still there, however, the actions lose intention and
become a lot of massive action on the to-do list. I have learned, the slower I
move, the more strength is built or, as one of my mentors used to say, I am
able to, slow down the process to speed up the result. I interpret this saying
as taking intentional action to slowly and steadily make progress with less
and more powerful moves.
Intention is discipline.
Intention is focus.
Intention is deliberate action with a specific vision.
Intention is telling yourself, no.
Intention is believing that, it is enough.
Move with intention.
Looking at Life ● 18
Act on purpose.
Choose what, where, to whom and when you will give your energy. Once
you make the choice, give all that you have engaging at the deepest level
possible.
Only then will it and you be enough.
The Next Time You Judge Someone Else…Remember
This.
Can you relate to having moments where you made a judgment about
yourself or someone else?
What someone did or didn’t do – their choices, clothes, actions, words…you
name it, and the list goes on and on.
And, when we don’t have someone to pass judgment over, we actively look
for things to judge and reasons to be unhappy.
If we spent as much energy on improving ourselves that we spend on
gossiping and tearing down others, the world may be a very different place.
The reality is, we are all human and all have a tendency to make judgments
of others.
Here is how I see it:
1. Let people be. We are all on our own journey and have the freedom to be
however we feel most comfortable being. While you may not understand
why others do what they do or how they live their life, you don’t need to
understand or fix it because you have your own life to live.
Looking at Life ● 19
2. Ease up and remind yourself that everyone, including you, are doing the
best they can with the information they have in the moment. One of your
favorite Maya Angelou quotes is, “as we know better, we do better.”
3. Take a look in the mirror first. As you reflect honestly, in some way, shape
or form you have probably done or been what you are judging someone else
for in that moment. It is then that you have an opportunity to recognize we
are all at different stages of learning on our path. Not one stage is better
than another, life is not a competition. Just an opportunity and plenty of
experiences to practice learning and growth.
4. Turn your vision inward and reflect on where the judgment is coming
from and what part within you needs to be healed. Healing the broken part
within where the judgment is coming from will help eliminate the need to
beat yourself or others up through superficial judgment.
Here’s how I look at this lesson; each time the pattern of judging someone
or something else comes up, there is an opportunity to take a step back and
look at the situation and yourself through a different lens.
The work begins with you.
Not judging or changing someone else.
Be Patient with Success
The deadlines and pressure we put on ourselves to finish in marked time is
self-created and self-imposed. Sometimes the journey takes longer than the
deadline we create.
Our definition of success is typically what causes our feelings and emotions
to either run wild with anxiety or if we aren’t careful, feed the beast of our
ego.
Looking at Life ● 20
When a goal takes longer than we expect but, we are still resiliently
dedicated to accomplishing the outcome, there is a reason for the delay.
And…every single time, that delay is well worth the spiritual and emotional
growth that occurs during the process.
My personal experience with this lesson was my journey to becoming a Yoga
Instructor. As long as I remained committed, focused and resilient, the time
it took for me to finish the teaching training program was irrelevant.
Whether I completed the training in three months or 10 months, either way,
I was going to become a certified yoga instructor.
My goal in finishing the program was to feel and know I gave 110% of myself
to the process along the way. Over the years, I have learned that in order to
give all of myself to anything, I must realize and accept that whatever I am
working toward will happen on its own terms and in its own time. The words
of one of my favorite yoga teachers helps me to remember to, “trust life…it
knows what it’s doing.”
Looking at Life ● 21
LESSONS FROM OVERCOMING MY
BATTLE WITH EXERCISE, REDEFINING
MY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD AND MY
STRUGGLE WITH W EIGHT
Looking at Life ● 22
What I Learned from Running
As far back as I can remember, I have always disliked running.
I haven’t disliked running because of the exercise itself, I disliked running
because of how it made me feel physically and emotionally. When I ran, my
breathing was labored and I would get a metallic taste in my mouth and a
debilitating side cramp after only running 5 short minutes.
It always seemed as though I was never fast enough compared to everyone
else. I could never run an 8 minute mile. I was always the last one to finish
the laps around the track in PE class and let’s not even discuss how I stacked
up in the quick sprints like the sixty yard dash.
After all these years, my thought process toward running hasn't changed.
One would think that something as small as putting one foot in front of the
other, breathing and moving the arms back and forth would be simple. The
reality is, the act of running is simple.
It was my thoughts about running that made it a painful experience....every
single time.
Normally when I ran, I tried to run as fast as I was able to run. As a result, I
was unable to maintain a stride, consistency or a true sense of
accomplishment. When we try to take our bodies to a level of performance
we have not built up strength to maintain it shows up as walking, giving up,
sitting down, losing confidence, validating negative thoughts we have
created in our own mind and disappointment of not reaching a desired
outcome.
In an effort to create a different result, I began approaching my runs with a
different thought. The new thought I chose to create was, pace yourself,
don't worry about how fast you are running, just run and avoid stopping as
much as possible -- build endurance, build strength.
Looking at Life ● 23
Here are the life lessons I learned from running:
1. Identify, understand and appreciate the level your body and mind are
capable of consistently performing both in exercise and in life.
2. Running the hills of life at your pace requires you to dig in, find your
strength, increase focus and concentration to make it to the top. If you are
running beyond your pace, the hills will slow you down and may cause you
to give up.
3. Take time to look around and enjoy the view. When we are too focused
on just crossing the finish line, it is easy to lose track of the surrounding
scenery that is all a part of the beauty in the journey.
4. Accept where you are currently and know that at your own pace, you will
build stamina, momentum and speed to yield performance over time.
5. When you are accepting of your current performance level, the thoughts,
opinions and judgments of others don't seem to matter because you are
being honest with who you are and where you are at this stage of your
growth.
6. When you operate at your pace and need to take a small break, you may
be more accepting of yourself, your performance and the need to slow
down.
7. Take advantage of the downhill slopes by letting go and riding the
momentum.
8. Running beyond your level will compromise the integrity of the action and
create a compromised outcome.
9. The goal in your mind will come much faster than you think when you are
able to be present in the moment and match your pace with your ability.
Looking at Life ● 24
Accepting the level of your current strength doesn't mean that you give up
or step away from the challenge. Acceptance of your current level means
you pace yourself to build strength and endurance while you work with
discipline to create the vision you know will soon come to pass.
The Secret to Losing Weight
Weight is the extra we have consumed. Extra in the areas of food, emotions,
fear, pain, material things, debt and etc. Extra portions we have consumed
from acting without thinking about why we are doing, what we are doing or
the consequences after the decision is made.
Weight accumulates as energy in your body. When you don't move the
accumulated energy you have acquired and continue to consume more than
you need, the growth expands begins to spread. The more weight you add,
the more you bury yourself physically, mentally and emotionally. Burying the
good, the bad, the ugly and the parts of you that need to be healed in order
to let go of the weight and the habits that are creating more of what you
don’t want
As the weight gets added on, it is common to give up, settle, live in pain and
succumb to fear. The more stagnation and boredom in life, the more we
think consuming additional of whatever feeds us will remedy the pain and
create a better feeling.
That is where exercise comes into play. I think we can all relate to dreading
the thought of exercise at one point in life or another.
Think about how most people approach exercise.... I’m going to the gym to
get my 45 minutes in or I ran my 2 miles this morning. I know this check the
box mentality all too well because I lived here for years and
couldn't understand how or why I could put in so much hard work, time, and
Looking at Life ● 25
effort into physically exercising, yet be disappointed every time I stepped on
the scale to see myself never lose a pound. Does this sound familiar?
Exercise is nothing more than an opportunity to move around the energy in
your body and to open up all of the blockages that have been created over
many, many years with food, emotions, pain, relationships and experiences.
When new spaces open, it allows for energy to flow which releases the gift
that only you can bring to the world.
What is the weight you need to release?
Be Able to Trust Yourself
I went for a run on one of my business trips out west. My path was dusted
with the red dirt that was once the majestic and towering red rocks in the
desert of Arizona.
On that particular day, my calendar was packed full with appointments. So, I
was up bright and early at 4:00 a.m. to make sure I had time to fit in a
workout that would keep me energized throughout the day.
The wake-up call came and was non-negotiable.
I coaxed myself out of bed, brushed my teeth, tied up my shoes, and pulled
my hair back. With sleepy eyes I opened the door, expecting to see the
burnt orange, dusty gold and violet sunrise hues of the morning with the
sunset coming up over Camelback Mountain.
To my surprise…there were no gold and violet hues. The sky was black.
Pitch…black.
Looking at Life ● 26
I stopped for a second to figure out how to turn the light on my watch so I
could have some source of illumination trying to make my way to the
running path.
The farther I walked into the darkness, the more unsettled I became.
I thought to myself, how am I going to run in the dark? I can’t see anything.
My internal dialogue continued, this is crazy…if there is a spot to fall and
break my neck, I will find it.
A few minutes later, I successfully arrived at the running path I had so
frequently traveled on my trips to Phoenix.
It was just as dark as the wide open sky. As an added bonus, I remembered
there was a river that ran along one side of the running path. One wrong
slip, I could have easily slid down. In the darkness, I began my run. Carefully
taking each step as almost a calculated risk, knowing that one careless move
could mean consequences. I had to be intentional, with every step, I had to
feel the ground beneath me and using the only vision I had to see through
the darkness.
The small square of light on my watch only served as a minimal warning to
those running toward me that there was another runner on the trail.
A mile into my run, I realized there was a giant sky above. A brilliant black
sky that sparkled with diamonds. The stars were everywhere and so clear it
felt like I could reach up and touch them. It was so moving, I had to stop,
look up and take in the moment. It was in that moment, the fears of
darkness, falling, finding my way began to dissolve and were no longer
overwhelming.
The darkness showed me an entirely new side that I wasn’t expecting and
taught me a few lessons:
Looking at Life ● 27
1. Be aware of your surroundings.
2. Take steps, even when you are afraid -- You don’t need to have a clear
picture or see the entire landscape to take the first step.
3. Take each step with intention and purpose.
4. Trust yourself.
5. Don’t forget to look up and take in all that is around you.
6. Stop and recognize the beauty right in front of your eyes. Even if it is
dark out.
7. The path of life that may seem dark sometimes…all you need to do is
take the steps
8. Feel your way and learn to trust yourself.
Lessons from Climbing 7,200 Feet
In August of 2014, I had the opportunity to spend a long weekend in El Paso
Texas visiting with family. Hiking at Franklin Mountains State Park was one of
the highlights of my trip.
As I was climbing, I began thinking about the similarities of everyday life and
the struggles I was having scaling the mountain.
Here are five lessons I realized about life by climbing 7,200 feet:
1. Caution: Loose Rocks – It is inevitable, in life you will fall and it may
hurt. You may have a warning that the foundation is unstable and try
to brace yourself to lessen the fall or you may step unknowingly onto
sliding rocks that send you unprepared in a direction you were not
anticipating going. Either way, if you fall, get back up, dust yourself off
and feel grateful that you are able to get up and continue on your
journey.
2. You Will Want to Quit – we all struggle against the voice that tells us, I
can’t, I shouldn’t or I’m not good enough. Expect that no matter how
determined you are in life, we are all human and the voice of
negativity, fear and self-doubt will find a way into the mind making
Looking at Life ● 28
you second guess your abilities. The first step to overcoming this voice
is to become aware. Becoming aware of a habit or behavior is the first
step to creating a different result.
3. Control Your Mind – set your vision and begin climbing. Expect that
getting to your destination will be work, expect that you will second
guess yourself and know when to give yourself a pep talk to continue
on your journey.
4. Reach Out and Ask for Help – it’s tough to get anywhere in life alone.
When you are struggling to climb, reach out and ask for help from
those close to you. People want to help, allow them to support you to
take your next step and push you toward the top of your mountain.
5. Enjoy the View – when you get to your destination, acknowledge your
hard work and soak in everything around you. Allow yourself to be
fully present in the moment recognizing the details, the sights,
sounds, smells, colors of how you feel in the moment.
Be Quiet and Practice
Your mind can be our most faithful ally or your most dangerous enemy.
It is one of the most powerful; if not the most powerful tools you have to
shape and mold your life.
As life goes by day-to-day, we choose how we will think of the elements that
come together to form our experience.
One of the things I have worked tirelessly at developing into my morning
and evening routine is to work in partnership with my mind and keep me
grounded in the moment through the practice of regular meditation.
Meditation is nothing more than the practice to consciously recognize and
make a choice to bring the mind back to the present moment every time it
wanders off into the land of to-do lists, worries and thoughts of what will
come next.
Looking at Life ● 29
Practice being in the moment and really being there with yourself and your
breath.
No stories, thoughts or a to-do list.
Just practice.
Practice quieting the noise of the mind to allow space to connect.
Practice noticing the patterned places and stories your mind gravitates to in
an effort to pull you away from the present moment – fear, memory,
fantasy, planning, past, future.
Connect to the place of peace that exists within you.
The place you can so easily gravitate away from with the day-to-day noise
and distractions that grab your attention to chase, search for answers or
distort our version of what or how life should be.
Just sit and be quiet.
Breathe.
Check in with yourself.
Come back to the place of peace that exists within you.
Try it, you never know what you might hear.
Be Your Best Today
I am at my best when:
I focus on serving others.
I remove my ego from the equation.
I listen.
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I seek to understand rather than force to be understood.
I don’t search for answers.
I laugh the loud, hard kind of laugh that makes others smile.
I am connected with everyone and everything around me.
I speak with intention.
I am open and allow everyone to see the real me.
I believe I can take on and conquer any challenge.
I take the road less traveled.
I am flexible and move with the flow of the universe.
I am a good friend.
I let go of the outcome and focus on the present.
I place attention on giving rather than taking.
I accept that no one, including myself is perfect.
I spend time doing things I want to do, rather than doing what I believe I
have to do.
I understand that the only thing I can control is myself.
I recognize and appreciate the small details that create the bigger picture.
I dig in, figure it out and get things done.
I slow down and take my time.
I do my work – the personal work to make me a better person.
I find the balance between confidence and humility.
I act with purpose.
Looking at Life ● 31
I am at my best when, I am making a difference in the world.
When are you at your best?
Looking at Life ● 32
LESSONS LEARNED FROM SELFREFLECTION, JOURNALI NG, DISCOVERING
WHO YOU ARE AND LEARNING WHO YOU
WANT TO BECOME
Looking at Life ● 33
Life is About the Moments
It can be easy to slip into the habit of living life in overdrive and overthought.
Living in overdrive means we are moving too fast, missing the details of all
the amazing things happening right in the very moment.
Missing the moment because of thoughts wrapped up in the to-do list for
the week, the fear of all the made-up stories we tell ourselves that could
happen about life, jobs, money, kids or focusing too much on moving to the
next scheduled event on the calendar or wishing away hours on the clock.
Wishing time away on the clock because the mind believes and feels stuck
which closes it off to not be able to see the magic in front of your eyes. The
magic is clouded because negativity is so densely fogging the view with
judgment.
As a result, the life that gets lived is in the, what if's rather than the right
now’s.
The, what if's crowding out all of the passion and power that is naturally
created by the very moment.
Think about how you approach life.
Are you living in the thoughts of your head?
Are you moving too fast?
Controlled by the fear of what if's?
Making up stories about what will happen?
Are you living in a feeling of being stuck?
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If you answered yes to any of these questions...
Why?
How does it feel to live life this way?
How do you feel about what you are creating for your life and the lives of
those around you?
Here are some ways of looking through the life lenses to sink into the power
of the present:
Allow each passing moment to take you by storm by completely fading into
the exact moment you are sitting in right now.
The people.
The experience.
The sounds.
The environment.
Be willing to be mesmerized by the moments.
Do that with everything.
Even the smallest things we think don't matter...is really what matter the
most.
The fullness of life is in the details of the moment.
Seek out the details.
Feel the moments.
Slow down.
Be in the now.
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Fully take in all that can be from every single person and every opportunity
encountered on our journey.
Every single day.
The power is in this very moment.
Allow yourself to...
Be here.
Right now.
Be Willing to Go With the Flow
Allow the current to sweep you forward.
Like the current in a river, it moves.
The current bends, flows and moves around obstacles seamlessly.
The current is extremely powerful.
The current can be used to help us move downstream.
When we flow with the current, the power is magnificent.
When we work to force against the current, life feels like work.
A struggle, preventing us from moving in the direction we want to head.
The likely reality is that the current isn’t responding to your force because at
this point in time, you are not meant to move in that direction.
Pay attention to where the current naturally guides you.
You will know that you are moving with the current because of how you feel.
Pay attention to how you feel.
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When the movement through life feels effortless and seamless, that is when
you know that you are moving in the right direction.
You are coming to a place of power.
Moving and bending with the intense current of the water.
Feel.
Listen.
Allow.
Move with…
Not against.
What Gift Are You Meant to Share With The World?
The New Year is always a magical time. It is the official benchmark that
signifies an end and a beginning. There is a quote at the end of one of my
favorite movies, Hope Floats. The quote is, “Beginnings are scary, endings
are sad, but it is the middle that counts.”
December 31 is a formalized and socially acceptable opportunity for us to
reflect on the past year.
Not only is it an opportunity to reflect on the past year but it also provides a
clean slate to dream and plan for the year ahead. When we think about
what actually happens when the New Year rings in at midnight, we are being
given another opportunity to create, to make a difference, to use our talents
and gifts to make the world a better place.
Looking at Life ● 37
When you reflect on this previous year, what one word would describe what
you represented during the year? (Examples: discipline, peace, chaos,
disorganized, content, stagnant).
When you look forward into New Year, what one word do you want to
represent with your thoughts, actions and behaviors? (Examples:
commitment, truth, action, organization, health).
What will you need to do to accomplish representing, living and being this
word?
Quite frankly, the reality is, when the clock strikes midnight every evening, it
signals a new opportunity to start fresh the following day and decide the
type of experience we will create for ourselves which will indirectly create an
experience for those around us.
We are powerful, powerful beings with various tools in our tool boxes
designed to contribute to the growth, evolution and betterment of the
world.
We are also leaders to each other every day, every moment, with each
action. As humans, we look to others for faith, inspiration, guidance, and
help to grow and progress personally.
What experience are you creating for yourself and those around you every
day as you interact with the world?
Looking at Life ● 38
Be Aware of Your Energy Investment
There are so many things happening in our lives and in the world around us,
sometimes it can be hard know where to put the mental, emotional and
physical energy that propels the day-to-day.
As much as you want to and as much as you may try, you can’t expect
yourself to be give energy to all the places and people who are demanding
and pulling energy from you. You are the one in control of where and whom
you choose to give your energy. Our day-to-day is combination of all of our
choices rolled into one big experience.
You are the one who has the power to make choices that make you happy
and create a feeling of pride about where you are choosing to invest your
energy. The realization that choices exist about where and how to spend
your energy can be so empowering.
Begin to think of your energy as an investment and question the return that
you receive on your investments. Make choices on where to invest your
energy with thought, intention to allow your investment to feed and propel
you rather than deplete and drain you.
Just as investors make choices with money, we have the ability and the
responsibility to ourselves to determine how we will invest our energy.
Where, what and to whom are you giving your energy?
Is the return emotionally filling your account or draining?
What are you getting in return?
Looking at Life ● 39
What Can You Learn?
I am a firm believer that you can learn from anyone, at any place at any
point in your life or their life.
Age doesn’t matter.
Life experience doesn’t matter.
What they do for a living is irrelevant.
If we are open to learning from each interaction we have, the magnitude for
our own growth is infinite
I believe that every individual who crosses our path shows up for a reason.
We may not always understand what that reason, but at some point as our
story unfolds, the purpose of that individual’s role in our journey is revealed
to us through our own understanding.
Our job is to be open to learning from others and want to engage in each
experience, each person you meet as if it will be the first and last time.
Just as in life, soak in each moment.
The now is all we have.
Who has crossed your path unexpectedly and had an impact on your day or
your life?
Have you ever had a conversation with a stranger that made you think
differently about a problem or issue you were struggling to overcome?
Have there been moments in your life where you have been the individual in
someone else’s experience that has made an impact on their journey?
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Think about it. You could be that person for someone else. You never know
when and where you will make an impact.
Are You Listening for the Lessons?
The universe sounds like the quiet, sometimes silently loud voice inside that
says, go for the job promotion you have been dreaming about that shows up
when you least expect it.
The people you cross paths with in your day-to-day interactions, and feel
they will have an impact on your life in some way, shape or form, but you
aren’t quite sure how just yet. The story hasn’t unfolded enough to be able
to tell, but you know.
People are placed in your path to exchange mutual learning lessons. These
lessons will show up at strange times. For example, a lesson may come when
your car breaks down when you least expect it to and when you think you
most need it to work. It could be that the universe is helping you to slow
down, keeping you out of danger, or trying to get your attention.
The ailing family member or the struggles in your relationships, these are
also all signs from the universe.
Listen intently.
Reflect on what the message is and what the message might mean for you.
The more in touch you become with yourself and your surroundings, the
more you are actively present, you will find how much easier it becomes to
listen to and recognize the cues of the Universe.
Looking at Life ● 41
You will become more appreciative of the lessons and you will learn to
notice that the meaningful twists and turns in life, all hold an important
purpose in your story.
A purpose to help stretch, grow and challenge you beyond what you ever
thought you needed or wanted to know about yourself.
How has the Universe been speaking to you?
Are you listening?
The Lesson of the Full Moon, Oak Tree and Red
Triangle
One of my favorite shows is Oprah’s Lifeclass.
In watching one of her episodes with Deepak Chopra, Oprah asked the
audience to close their eyes and picture three different objects.
With your eyes closed, picture the three objects listed below and pay
attention to the thoughts associated with those visualizations:
o A Full Moon
o An Oak Tree by the River
o A Red Triangle
As you complete the exercise you probably notice you associated these
objects with places, memories, things and specific thoughts.
The person who created and observed the thoughts about the three objects
is the same person who controls the inflow and outflow of the thoughts in
your mind.
YOU.
Looking at Life ● 42
The thoughts you choose to allow in your mind have the potential to shut
you down or propel you into greatness. As you continue to realize that the
inflow and outflow of your thoughts can create meaning to almost anything
in front of you -- objects, experiences, people, and circumstances, you can
begin to realize that you have the power to make anything mean what you
want it to mean. As a result, you have the power to create anything you
want to create – with the just one thought.
Every day, we are faced with countless experiences to guide the inflow and
outflow of the thoughts we allow into our mental space.
Our thoughts are directly creating our story.
Each one of us has the opportunity to write the story we want to write.
Create the experience we want to create.
Become whoever we want to become.
The possibilities are endless.
What do you think?
Learn. Grow. Teach. Repeat.
Each day we are given an opportunity to use the tools we need and are
granted the opportunity to share our own personal gifts. Every person has a
different life story. A story uniquely designed and created to shape, equip
and mold them along their journey. The experiences on our individual paths
are experiences and lessons we have the chance to learn from and graduate
Looking at Life ● 43
through. Similar to different grade levels in school, our life experiences –
some that create the feelings of sadness, happiness, excitement, joy, and
fulfillment – are all in place to teach us lessons.
Our responsibility once we have graduated through the various experiences
and lessons is to share our gifts and teach. Teach and guide others when
they encounter similar trials and tribulations in their own life and need
someone to help them develop progress along on their journey. We can
easily get stuck if we are unwilling to reach out for help, seek out teachers or
others who have been on the path before us. We can look to them to show
us the opportunity to learn how to think differently and make a different
choice.
Learn. Grow. Teach….then repeat.
Be a Warrior
Your self-worth is not determined by how and if people respond to you.
It is not necessary to seek out the love or approval of others.
Be at peace with you.
You are enough.
You don’t need someone else to validate that you are enough.
Looking at Life ● 44
You are strong.
You are stronger than you think.
Harness your personal power and strength to believe in yourself and create
the life you want.
It is your time.
Let go of trying to live everyone else’s life for them and resist trying to save
everyone.
Other people are not your business.
You are your business.
Your destiny is your own.
You cannot put your dreams on hold any longer.
You are experiencing a world of amazingness every single day.
Your world.
You haven’t even begun to tap into your full potential.
How about you go all in on you for once?
Give yourself 110%, the same way that you give to everyone else.
This is your time to shine, be, do, have, create and become everything that
you have always dreamed.
You must decide that you are going to be a warrior for you.
There is nothing to fear.
Be brave.
Stand in your courage,
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Your power.
Be a warrior.
A warrior of your life,
A warrior of your journey.
Be Creative
I can't do that, I don't think that way, I'm not creative.
Have you ever heard anyone utter these words?
How do we think about creativity? Being good at drawing? Being a skilled
painter? Succeeding as a fancy decorator? Thriving as a masterful party
planner?
What does being creative mean to you?
Have you ever thought of designing and creating your life as part of being
creative?
Whether you choose to believe it or not, you are an artist every day.
An artist of your own life. If you choose to believe you are not creative, how
will that way of thinking show up in your artwork? You have been provided
with a blank canvas, a block of clay, a white piece of paper, and all different
kinds of material to be creative and assemble into the masterpiece that is
yours.
The outcome is yours.
The choice is yours.
Your life is yours.
Looking at Life ● 46
Whether you perceive it to be good or bad, it is yours because you are the
artist.
What you are living is the work you have created.
That is the beauty your life.
The question becomes, how do you use your creativity?
What do you believe about your ability to be creative?
What kind of artist are you?
One that consciously creates the masterpiece they want?
Or, one that allows their masterpiece to be created for them?
When you step back and look at your masterpiece, do you like what you
see?
Be Five Years Old Again
Do you remember when you were five years old?
You probably weren’t afraid of anything….except maybe the monster under
the bed.
Everything in life seemed amazing, light and carefree.
Chances are, you probably didn’t even know what it was like to care about
what other people thought of you.
You had a blast in every single moment.
You probably got a complete night’s sleep.
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The concept of judging, disliking or putting negative energy toward other
people didn’t exist and didn’t need to exist.
Everyone was equal.
Not better because of the car they drove, the job title they had or their
annual salary.
It is doubtful you cared what people were wearing or what you were
wearing.
You probably lived most of your day in make believe dreaming up scenarios,
people and creating things you thought were pretty amazing.
Everything seemed so much bigger than you, but wasn’t the least bit
intimidating.
Smiling and laughter happened without effort.
Dreams and thoughts of what you wanted to be when you grew up were
filled with the utter determination and conviction that without a doubt…this
is what I am going to do and no one would tell you any different.
There was no fear.
Doubt.
Insecurity.
At some point things shift.
We lose that ability to be able to live in the mind of a five year old.
We lose the ability because we get caught up in a place that pulls our energy
in a million different directions. Most of the time the energy is wasted, spent
on unproductive, meaningless mind chatter and banter toward things and
people we have zero control over.
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However, we tend to consume ourselves with what other people do and
how other people act to determine some level of our own self-worth and
happiness. Allowing everything outside of our control to have a significant
influence on our level of self-confidence. The opinions of outside people and
influences begin to determine the actions we should and shouldn’t take.
Look at life today and think like a five year old. As you think about this, you
may realize there are things you have given attention to in life, that really
don’t matter at all.
Realize that smiling and laughing is way more fun than being serious all of
the time.
Quiet the voice of fear that loves to rear its head when you need to find that
five year old courage the most.
The things, people and circumstances we choose to give our energy toward
determine how we feel about life.
Think back to when you were five years old.
What was important to you then?
How did you think about the world?
How did the sentence end that began with…one day when I grow up, I am
going to be?
Looking at Life ● 49
Why Didn’t You Try New Things?
Trying new things and having new experiences not only keeps life rich and
interesting, but more importantly builds your self-confidence.
However, going outside of what feels comfortable and what we know is
hard!
Here are 10 reasons why trying new things is usually one of the last items on
the list:
1. I have never been there.
2. I don’t know how.
3. If I mess up, I will feel stupid.
4. If people stare at you, I will feel like something is wrong with you.
5. I won’t know what to do.
6. I don’t have time to figure out how.
7. The routine is just easier
8. I know what I am getting if I stick with what I have always done.
9. I am afraid.
10. I don’t want to go alone.
One of the things I have learned personally and watched other people
develop is a sense of courage and unshakable confidence when they try
something new.
The reality is, there are a lot of things you can buy in this world. Paying to
increase your self-confidence and self-worth are not things for sale on a
shelf. They are feelings you have to develop. The feelings of self-confidence
Looking at Life ● 50
and self-worth drive most of what you do and how you feel about yourself in
everyday life.
When you try something new you step out of the routine and create a new
pathway of thinking and action.
The size of the activity doesn’t matter, there is no, one is better than
another. Something as simple as a new place in your town you have been
wanting to visit or a new class at the gym you have been wanting to try, will
have the same effect of a sense of newness, accomplishment. Trying new
things will not only build your confidence but it will prove to you that you
can do anything you set your mind to doing.
Be the Creator of Your Destiny
Do you ever look at people you admire and think they must have it all
figured out?
You look at others in awe and assume they must have been born with a
special trait or gene that other normal people didn’t get blessed with at
birth?
I have experienced many times like this in my life. Times, when I thought
what I wanted to achieve was not possible.
I am not talking about achieving huge stretch goals and dreams. I am talking
about the times when I didn’t even want to get out of bed. I dreaded going
into work, counting the days, praying and hoping for something in life to
drastically change because I felt about myself and my where I was in my life.
Have you been there?
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Have you lived in that dark, angry, frustrated place in your head believing
there were too many things stacked against you?
You couldn’t see how your current situation would change and didn’t have
the first idea about how to change the things that were making you
unhappy?
You felt sorry for yourself?
You believed that no one understood, what you were going through?
Has there been a distinct point in life where you hit rock bottom?
You didn’t want to be on this earth anymore and were prepared to take
matters into your own hands?
I have always said, your mind can be your best friend or your worst enemy.
The most valuable tool you have, is your mind and only you can control how
this tool is used.
The process begins when you decide things can no longer continue the way
they are in their current state.
When you are there…here is where to begin:
1. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and accept that no one is capable of
making the changes in your life other than you. The outcomes of your
life have been and will always be your responsibility.
2. Write down your thoughts and notice any patterns that get in your
way of moving forward. Once you create awareness to what is going
on in your mind, focus on choosing the thoughts that help you to stay
positive and aligned with moving in the direction you want to go.
3. Take accountability for the behaviors and bad habits that are getting
you stuck in dead end places.
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4. Make choices based off of how you will feel after a decision is made
and not what will make you feel better in the moment.
5. Feel the fear in situations and experiences you have never been
before but make the choice to have courage and take the steps to
move forward. Recognize that it takes relentless vision, optimism and
a willingness to let go of the fear that binds us over and over again.
Taking control and consciously owning and changing your thoughts, actions
and behaviors will allow you to not only think differently, but feel differently.
When you realize you feel differently about yourself, the outcomes of your
life begin to shift more toward what you want to create.
The reality is, we all have the same opportunity to create what we want
from life. There are no special genes some of us are blessed to be born with
and others get left out. It takes work to create the person we want to be and
the life we envision.
The biggest thing is to remember is that learning who we are and creating
the life we want is all a process. Don't judge yourself if things aren’t exactly
as you want them in the moment. Allow everything to fall into place as you
take the initiative to do the work.
One choice at a time.
One day at a time.
You have the power to be what you want to be.
Create the life you want.
Looking at Life ● 53
Be for You
Have you ever stopped to think about what you really want?
Not what you think you want.
Not what society has drilled into your head to make you think you want, not
what your friends, family want for you, but deep down, what you know will
really fill you up?
The experiences that fill you up in your soul to the point you don’t even
know why they make you so happy and fulfilled, but they do.
So, think about it…
What do you want?
It’s a hard question. Especially if you haven’t allowed or given yourself
permission to explore and understand who you and the things that make
you feel good.
These questions are hard to answer. The reason they are hard to answer is
because we tend to spend so much of our lives trying to please others and
seek approval of society. Throughout this pleasing process, at some point,
we lose sight of who we are and what we want replaced with a life based off
of what we think we are supposed to be doing to gain approval.
As a result of living life by pleasing others, the emptiness grows, and a sense
of being hungry but not really knowing the real craving pulls at you like the
strongest current in the tide. The unknowingness of the cravings comes
from drifting so far apart from being able to connect to ourselves and relying
primarily on the opinions of everyone else to help us figure out what we
should and shouldn't do, be and say.
Looking at Life ● 54
Stop and think about what you want from life. What experience do you want
to create for yourself and those around you?
If you aren’t sure about what you want or are too clouded by the you should
do this and you shouldn’t do that voices from everyone who thinks they
know what is best for you, start with a few simple questions to get you
thinking:
Who am I?
Am I happy?
If not, why?
What would make me happy?
Is what makes me happy good for me?
Be Just As You Are
What is my purpose in this world?
How can I create the life I want for myself?
All of these are relatively simple questions but the process to answering
these questions can be frustrating and difficult.
Here are a few lessons I have learned along the way that helped me to
discover more about myself as I continued to grow in answering life’s
biggest questions.
1. Step out of the role you think you need to play to win the approval of
others and focus on what it is that will make you happy.
2. Be willing to get out of your own way and allow the answers to present
themselves naturally without force or control.
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3. Be patient with yourself and the process of learning and growth. Don't
expect perfection.
4. Stop comparing yourself against the imaginary measuring stick of success
you have created about your progress in life to determine your worthiness
and value.
5. Remind yourself to experience life with excitement and curiosity rather
than judgment and expectation.
You will naturally emerge and evolve over time if you create a space to allow
yourself to be you, just as you are.
Discover the Real You Over and Over Again
Seeking and discovering who you are and the uniqueness you have to offer
the world is a process. When you are being yourself, you don't have to force,
push, pull or twist to find a connection to people or the world around you.
Being true to yourself is becoming comfortable with not hiding the parts of
you that make you special and allow others to feel your genuine energy.
When you are able to express the real you and become comfortable in your
own skin, you know without a doubt, you are capable of overcoming any
obstacle encountered on your path.
When you live in your truth, you inspire others. Living authentically as you
are makes it okay for other people step outside of society's expectations and
live their truth to become the most real version of themselves.
Here are some questions to get you thinking:
Who is the real me?
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When do I feel like I am being the most real with myself and those around
me?
Do I ever try to act or win over the approval of someone else? If so, why do I
do this and how does it feel?
“Come On Baby Light My Fire.”
Think about a candle.
The symbolism behind lighting a candle, watching it burn and the wax
melting into its own unique shape.
The wick represents the physical, emotional, spiritual pieces that make up us
as human beings. The wick is the center of the candle. Without lighting the
wick, the shape of the candle remains unchanged. Gathers dust and
probably gets put up on a shelf somewhere almost unnoticeable even
though it is in plain sight for anyone and everyone to see. Eventually, if the
candle still remains unlit, the purpose of the space it is taken up is
questioned and chances are it gets thrown away.
When the wick is lit, the light it shines changes the dynamic of an entire
space. A lit candle can shine and bring energy to darkness. Think of the lit
candle as the energy or the contribution to the world we have the
opportunity to bring every single person in each moment of our lives.
How we think about ourselves and what we allow into our space can blow
out the light of our candle, so it is important to always protect the flame
from things that would cause it to fade into darkness.
When your candle is lit and burning, the wax that is the container holding
the space for the wick is melting. Shifting, changing shape, evolving into
something different than its original form because of the heat from the
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flame. This symbolism can be equal to what happens during our journey in
life. The experiences we have, the people we meet, the lessons we learn
along the way all shape who we are and the purpose we believe we are
destined to fulfill.
Some of these experiences may cause the flame to weaken and flicker
almost to the point of extinction. While other experiences may strengthen
the flame, making it reach higher levels and become more intense.
As long as the flame on the candle is burning, the wax is melting and reforming.
We can learn from the symbolism behind this simple everyday example that
the power behind our flame has just the same effect.
Figure out what it takes to not only light your flame, but to keep it lit. So you
can shine your purpose into the world influencing all that you meet.
Be aware of the things and people lessen or intensify your fire. Most
importantly, allow yourself to be transformed by the burning of your flame.
Allow yourself to be shaped and to dissolve into the experience of life.
In the famous words of Jim Morrison and The Doors, “come on baby light my
fire.”
Be Clear on Your Vision
In one of my favorite movies, The Notebook, a turning point in the movie is
when Noah looks at Allie and says, "Stop worrying about what everyone else
wants, focus on what you want!"
Allie stares back at him wide-eyed in utter confusion and paralyzing fear of
actually being forced to a decision.
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Noah sees the blank stare in her eyes and asks again.
This time, he says it much louder and more abrupt, "What do you want?!"
Think about how often you may have made choices to fulfill what you
thought you had to be for other people.
How many times you have sought approval from others and made decisions
solely to fit in with what others thought was best for you?
At some point, Noah's question, "What do you want?!” has probably stared
you in the face, just like it did Allie.
It is at these powerful moments you have to define, visualize and go after
what you really want, not what everyone else wants for you. Get out of your
own way and make the choice to follow your heart. As you do, the essence
of who you really are will begin to shine through.
It is up to you to choose to stop living in the confused, fearful space. You
may not know where to begin. It is common to feel like you don’t have the
answers or know the next step to take.
When you feel like you don't have the answers, allow yourself to explore and
find them.
One day at a time.
Once you find them, choose to live them.
The path that is unknown is not the easy path.
It is not the most popular path and it is definitely not the understood path.
People may look at you like you are crazy, but, it is your path.
It is what you want and that is all that matters.
Whose path are you walking?
Looking at Life ● 59
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
Have you ever wanted a safe place to share your thoughts?
A place where you wouldn't be judged criticized or held hostage to why you
think, feel and act about certain things?
There is good news, that safe place, to unload your feelings, without fear of
judgment or retaliation exists.
Throughout the phases of your life and the daily experiences you
encounter, try to use writing as a way to reflect process, explore and
understand. Your writing is a safe place to unload thoughts, feelings and
emotions without judgment.
Writing is a mirror to see the thoughts, pain, confusion, sorrow, happiness
and success you feel in the moment. The mirror allows you to understand
yourself more clearly. When you can see and understand who you are with
clarity and purpose, you are able to speak, act and make choices that align
with the intention and clarity you discover in your mirror.
There is an opportunity to connect deeper to yourself through writing and
journaling. Since we are all mirror images of each other, as you connect to
yourself, you are also connecting with others.
Here are some thoughts to help you begin:
1. How do you process your thoughts and emotions?
2. How do you gain clarity about who you are, the life you want and the
steps you are taking to create this life?
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Be a Genie and Grant Your Wishes
Can you relate to a feeling of not being, having or doing what you want in
life?
You wish you had a different job.
You wish your marriage was better.
You wish…._________________.”
Whether it is a job, relationship or other personal goal we may be familiar
with wishing something would be different or for a change to take place in
our current situation.
What have you wished for in your life?
When we resist the current situation as it is, the window to find a solution or
create the change we are hoping for becomes smaller.
The old saying of, what we resist will persist.
When we keep resisting what is, we make it difficult to identify solutions
because we are stuck in our own way.
Here are a couple lessons I have learned to drop the resistance and become
open to finding new solutions and granting my own wishes:
1. Pay Attention - Notice what you are resisting or wishing was different
in your current situation. Awareness is the first step to creating space
for solutions.
2. Face the Truth -- Accept the current circumstances just as they are
rather than wishing things were different. Accepting allows you to
work from a place of truth when planning and setting goals for what
you want to create.
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3. Get Control of Your Mind – The circumstances of life are not what
creates emotions (happy, sad, disappointed, etc.). The emotion
around the circumstances of life is the meaning we give to whatever is
happening by the thoughts and emotions we have about the
circumstance. Once you become truthful with yourself about the
current circumstances, allow the circumstances to just be.
4. Assess Your Measurements – Often times we base our self-value and
self-worth by where we think we should be or how we compare to
others. Re-define your measurements for success to ensure your
goals are steps toward self-improvement and not a stick you are using
to beat yourself up in comparison to others.
Surrender to the circumstances as they are, be willing to face the truth.
Allow space for new solutions to form and your wishes can come to life.
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LESSONS FROM EVERYDA Y
EXPERIENCES
Looking at Life ● 63
10 Lessons You Can Learn from Driving Your Car
Imagine getting into your car and traveling from one destination to another.
No matter whether it’s a short trip or a long haul, think of all the steps you
go through to drive a vehicle.
Adjusting your seats, mirrors, keys in the ignition, checking around you for
potential hazards you need to avoid, the list could go on for miles.
Now, imagine this same daily activity we are all so familiar with and applying
it to how you steer yourself down the road of life.
You are in the driver’s seat.
Your vehicle is life.
Destination: up to you.
Here is How I See It:
1. The road map will help keep you going in the general direction toward
your destination.
2. You need the proper fuel to keep your engine running.
3. As the driver, you can choose to change directions at any time.
4. If you make a wrong turn, figure out why and choose to continue on
the path and explore or turn around and go back the direction from
which you came
5. People around you may get in the way, cut you off or challenge your
direction. Keep your eyes on the destination and stay on your road.
6. Let it be okay to get lost. Exploring new places and terrain is where
growth takes place.
7. Stay present and alert. You never know what may happen or what you
may see along the journey.
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8. The vehicle you are driving has tools to help you navigate almost any
situation. Learn what tools you have and know when and how to
access them along your journey.
9. You may run out of gas, you may end up in an accident, the unknown
is inevitable. When the unexpected happens, accept it, go with the
flow and stay open to solutions. Most importantly, get back behind
the wheel and keep driving.
10.The ride is always much more fun with good music. Find your favorites
and turn em’ up loud.
What Cleaning Can Teach You
Have you ever cleaned out a basement?
A closet?
A room you seem to dump everything into?
Regardless of where this space is for you, it is symbolic.
The same way we accumulate clothes, objects or things that we think we will
need one day. We do the same with our thoughts, emotions, past
experiences, and memories.
Instead of these intangible thoughts, emotions, experiences and feelings
being physically stored in a room somewhere in our home, apartment,
garage, closet…they are stored in our bodies.
In our bodies they are physically, mentally and emotionally manifested. This
manifestation shows up in our habits, patterns, behaviors, thoughts,
judgments and perceptions. We like to tell ourselves, that by putting the
physical objects in one space, hidden from the world, we are doing ourselves
good to contain the mess, hide the mess, and keep it from spilling over into
the rest of our life.
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The reality is that the accumulation of things, thoughts, emotions, anger,
sadness, hurt, frustration, is likely overflowing into other areas. If you don’t
clean out your space, take the time to sort through and let go, the
accumulation of stuff will only grow over time. This will create a heaviness
that weighs you down physically, mentally and emotionally.
We make excuses, by hiding or holding on to things and we tell ourselves
there is a reason why we need these things. If we are being honest with
ourselves, the reason we need to hide or hold on to our stuff is because we
are too afraid to walk through the unknown.
Until the choice is made to do some real cleaning, hiding or holding on…it is
all one in the same. You are the one who can really clean your space.
Part of our real journey is to have experiences that can create emotions,
memories and traumas, all disguised to be the lessons put in front of us to
learn.
We must seek to understand by keeping our mental, physical and emotional
space clean so we can live in the best possible environment for our growth
on our journey.
Be Playful
I went to the beach in Hull Massachusetts on an early April morning in 2013.
It was the kind of morning that sends the signal that the spring season is on
its way with just enough chill in the air to tease because it hasn’t quite
arrived yet.
The smell of the salt, the sound of the waves and the power of the water
never cease to amaze me.
I wasn’t there for any particular purpose. I just went to explore.
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To observe and to experience…
The waves.
The water.
The sand.
The sky.
I walked along the beach, looking at each rock and shell.
Unique, different and each in its own place.
After walking for a while, I decided to stop, sit for a minute and just take in
everything around me in appreciation and gratitude for the beauty and
peace. I found a nice solid piece of driftwood and I watched as people came
by; some by themselves, some with their families and some with their dogs.
Two dogs chasing after a bright orange ball grabbed my attention.
I watched as the dogs’ owner would throw the ball. In response to the
throw, the two dogs, would run as hard as they could after the ball.
Chasing.
Running.
Going after what they wanted.
Keeping their vision focused.
The dogs weren’t worried about how many times or how far they had to
run.
If the water came up and washed over the ball and they had to fish for it in
the water, they didn’t care. If they slipped and fell time and time again,
nothing changed.
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The dogs just got back up and ran after their ball, with as much force as if
they had never lost their stride. They were not worried about how they
looked while they ran. They did not worry about who was watching. There
was no fear of what may happen. They were not trying to control the
outcome or the ball, they just ran.
As I sat back and watched, I realized that the dogs had found what they were
running after without having to control or worrying with fear.
They ran after their ball with:
Endurance.
Willingness.
Humility.
Resiliency.
Trust.
Humor.
And…they found it, every time.
What I Learned by Going Back to High School
In a past research study, I asked 13 graduating high school seniors what
advice they would give to a younger student getting ready to go through the
transition from high school to college.
I found it interesting as I was going back through the data and realized that
their advice can be applied not only to high school seniors transitioning to
college, but is brilliant and motivational life advice that can apply to anyone,
at any age, in pretty much any circumstance.
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Here is what can be learned from the teens...
1. "Take it as it goes, basically you just have to roll with the punches, be
determined, have a mind-set of what you want to do, you have to grow up
and if you are willing to do that, you should take the step, it is not easy,
some days it is fun, some days you will at get it, it is a stepping stone."
2. "Do what makes you happy, if you don’t like it, don’t stay. If you think you
will like it, stick it out and just try it ... do what you want."
3. "Don’t procrastinate, manage your time well, don’t wait until the last
minute to do things, do it for you, and don’t do it for someone else."
4. "Be prepared to do all the work and self-discipline yourself, but make sure
you are doing what you need to do. You have to earn your keep."
5. "Have your head straight going into it, know what you want to accomplish
and work towards accomplishing that, don’t worry so much about the social
life."
The Power of Letting Go
In May of 2012, it had been five years into the journey of earning my
doctoral degree. There were many, many times on this journey where I
would say to myself, why am I doing this?
The countless hours spent with your face buried in your computer screen,
your mind numb and your ego saying, just get this thing DONE. The research,
methodology, sample, design, limitations, blah, blah, blah… were all
wonderful, useful academic related items that I was learning along the way
but, I knew in my heart there was more for me to be learning.
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In May of 2012, four years into the process, the real lessons started to
surface.
As fast and hard as I wanted to push myself to get this thing done...it wasn't
happening.
I would hit road block after road block.
And, the more I forced the outcome, the more energy I lost. The more
energy I lost, the more unmotivated I became. As I lost motivation, I began
to question why I was doing this program in the first place.
I maneuvered.
I fought.
I twisted.
I forced what I thought needed to happen to make it work.
When I stopped fighting, when I let the process teach me, when I opened
myself up to learn what I was really supposed to be learning, only then did
the blocks move out of the way and the process start to move forward.
The lesson of not fighting the process, but rather learning from the process
was the start to the flood gates that would open with the real life lessons
the journey to completing my Doctorate of Education taught me.
The quest of earning any type of education involves many components. This
journey is really one of beginning to understand the value and process of
exploring.
The most important lesson I learned from this experience is that the longest,
hardest and most rewarding research of all is exploring the answer to the
question, who am I and what do I want?
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Five Things Mom Always Said...What Did They Really
Mean?
My mom came up to visit me during the spring of 2012 when I lived in
Boston, MA. We had the opportunity to spend some quality time seeing all
the sights of New England. I remember vividly as I dropped her off at the
airport terminal my heart sank and jumped all at the same time. I was so
happy and grateful for the time we spent together, but sad to see her leave.
My mind was noisy on the car ride home as I found myself rewinding
memories and sayings I remember hearing from mom over the years. As I
drove and reminisced, those things I heard my mom say began to take on a
much different meaning than they did when I was younger.
1. “Put the dishes away” - it is amazing how accomplishing the small daily
tasks of life can impact the worth, value and pride you have in yourself and
the space you create. One small accomplishment can change your entire
mindset.
2. “You need to rest” – we have a tendency to think it is realistic to push
ourselves at a pace that is 110% every day, all the time. Knowing and being
aware of when to rest is a critical component of being able to continue your
life transitions with strength, power and purpose.
3. “You always leave a trail everywhere you go, pick up after yourself!” –
while leaving a trail isn’t always a bad thing, it is important to be aware that
everywhere you go and with each person you interact, you have an
opportunity to make an impact. Mom’s saying helps you to remember to
leave your trail consciously so your impact is positive and meaningful, rather
than dirty dishes and laundry scattered outlining your path.
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4. “Come on, you can do it” – in her most high-pitched voice, I would and
still do hear this saying often. These simple words help to remind you that it
is the simple belief to help you charge onward and just keep going. The
belief in yourself that you can do it, is sometimes all you need to conquer
the next challenge.
5. “Flip, on goes the light” – the torture of the light in the early morning was
enough to bring out the monster in me on every day before school.
However, the light switch in this lesson is metaphorical. Sometimes, we
need the light to shine us brightly in the eyes to come awake from the
sleepwalking we may be doing day-to-day in our lives.
Be Committed
It was spring of 2011 and I had been going through the tedious process of
trying to buy a new car. The lease was up on my Volkswagen EOS and it was
time to make a decision of whether I was going to buy the car I had leased or
turn it in for a brand new ride.
I spent a month and half trying to decide.
I test drove cars.
I negotiated.
I researched.
I asked for recommendations from people I knew about what type of car
would be best. The difficult part of the entire process was that I knew I had a
deadline for my lease end date. I had to make a decision. Decisions have
never been an issue for me when I am clear about what I want.
This was different.
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I found it to be best to analyze all components and make the best long term
financial decision. I have learned through the decision making process
experiences in life that when decisions are made too quickly, I often don't
feel great about the end result.
This particular car buying experience held many other lessons for me to
learn:
1. Decisions, big or small, are commitments.
2. I realized that when I make decisions too quickly, they usually aren't
the decisions that are the best for you nor are they decisions that I
stick with long term.
3. When it comes to being proud and committing to a long term
decision, take time and don't let anyone rush you into thinking that
they know what is best for you.
4. Analyze all of the variables that you have access to and make the
decision that will make you proud and committed.
5. Trust your own judgment.
6. Move forward and make the decision you know is best for you.
Be Like the Ocean…Make a Wave
Imagine the ocean.
The salt in the air. The sound of the waves. The sand. The seashells.
The power of the water.
The peace and serenity of the surroundings.
Water is one of the most powerful, yet most peaceful, substances we have
on earth.
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What if you used your power like the ocean?
1. Move through life without trying to control the next move.
2. Allow your energy to go where it will go with an understanding each move
is with intention and purpose.
3. Know when to pull back to rest and when to rebuild strength.
4. Trust your intuition on how to connect all of the pieces of life into one
massive force strong enough to destroy...and vast enough to transform the
world.
Imagine how life would be different.
Run and Win YOUR Race
People travel from all over the world to be a part of the energy, spirit,
passion and strength of races like the Kentucky Derby, Preakness and
Breeders Cup.
What people love most about races like the Kentucky Derby is the countless
stories of horses that have overcome some of the greatest odds to win one
of the most coveted races in horse racing.
Stories like the 2009 winner, Zenyatta who came from the end of the pack to
be declared the winner of the Breeder’s Cup and power house favorites like
Big Brown.
These stories are inspiring because of the undertone and message of:
Passion.
Perseverance.
Power.
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Determination.
Strength.
Spirit.
When comparing the process that happens before the actual race, with
everyday life, there are some lessons to be learned.
Here are some examples:
In order to have the opportunity to run your best race,
Countless hours are spent,
Practicing,
Training,
Maximizing Nutrition,
Strategy,
Planning.
On race day, the horse is prepped in the barn, saddled, jockeys summoned,
jockeys are lifted up on their steed.
Some rider and horse pairs are nervous.
Some show up as calm, collected and relaxed.
Others show a bad attitude and fight the entire journey.
Once loaded in the shoot, the race bell rings, the horses sprung out of the
gate, to the race they have been preparing to run.
Some will get nosed out early and back off.
Some will get pushed out early.
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Some will strategically find a way to make it to the front of the pack.
Some will run the hardest race of their career.
How will you run your race?
Will you have a strong start out of the gate and then lose steam?
Will you move to the outside and eliminate yourself from the running?
Will you dig in, and use all of your skills and practice to run the hardest race
you can run?
The only person you are competing with to run the race of your life is…you.
Go for the blue ribbon.
Run and win your race.
“Sometimes You Just Need to Be Fearless”
It was a sunny spring afternoon in late April of 2013 and I went to Whole
Foods for lunch.
As I sat down to enjoy my lunch in the 70 degree weather, I couldn’t help
but to people watch.
So many people.
So many lives.
So many paths.
Each one with a story.
As the many stories passed by, one group in particular caught my attention
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A group of about six middle school girls walked by, carrying on as middle
school girls do about this boy, that boy, and the latest post on Instagram.
Initially, I thought they must have been let loose to roam on their own
Until, I saw, the parent for all six of these little chicks who was straggling
behind to catch up. Two of the six girls broke free of the pack and scurried
over to climb up on the backs of the metal chairs resting peacefully in the
sun. I found my over protective mind saying, don’t sit on the back of that
chair, you could easily fall over.
However, as I watched them…
In their fearlessness, there they sat.
Perched.
No big deal.
Then, along came mother hen charging after them being the responsible
one saying, “girls, get off the back of those chairs, you will fall and hurt
yourself!”
I watched as the girls obeyed the request with their actions, but, verbally
spouted off, “you know mom, sometimes you just need to be fearless, and
it’s not that big of a deal.”
The mom dismissed the comments as if the girl had never spoke them and
coaxed them back on the sidewalk.
I smiled.
As I thought to myself;
At what point do we lose our fearlessness?
At what point in our lives do we start playing it safe?
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Why do we play it safe?
It’s okay to move off of the path of safety and step into the unknown.
That mindset is what creates greatness.
You know mom, sometimes you just need to be fearless, its not that big of a
deal.
Be Strong. Boston Strong.
I moved to Boston October 1st, 2012.
The transition was difficult to say the least. However, this city has taught me
so much about myself and what being challenged in every way possible
looks and feels like. The spirit of this city is built on many things; loyalty,
tradition, pride, resilience and an unspoken toughness that requires you to
stand alone but know that you have an army of people behind you at any
given moment when you need them.
One of the things I have learned, watched and been consistently inspired by
in Boston is the willingness to believe and persist no matter what happens.
The phrase Believe in Boston is well-known in Massachusetts.
When I first saw it on a flag, I didn't understand it, but my first reaction was
that it was catchy.
Now, after having lived in Boston for some time, I understand this phrase
holds much more meaning than just the words on the, shirts, hats, flags and
stickers. There are countless day-to-day examples of the Believe in Boston
spirit.
The tragedy that occurred April 15th, 2013 at the 117th running of the
Boston Marathon and the rally cry of the city after the bombing, that called
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to bring back a sense of pride, normalcy, empathy and strength was a
perfect illustration of how people work here every day.
When everyone had written their season and team off as a loss the Boston
Red Sox came from last place to rally and win the World Series.
Boston has taught me:
Relentless perseverance.
Grit.
Believing there is a way, even when it seems impossible.
Strength.
Unity.
Commitment.
Pride.
Courage.
The willingness to do whatever it takes to accomplish the mission.
Understanding and appreciating that a surface level effort won’t cut it.
Boston lives and breathes an untouchable spirit that cannot be detoured
from the cause. I share my experiences of living in Boston with you because:
no matter who you are, what you do or where you live, you will have difficult
experiences in your life.
You may be experiencing one at this very moment.
The unexpected will strike when you least expect it and it could be tragic. It
could also be uplifting or enlightening.
There will be times when it seems that the deck is stacked against you.
You will want to quit.
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You will lose sight of your purpose.
You will lose faith in your team, your spouse, friends, family and yourself.
You will want to believe that those who say, it is impossible are right.
Chances are, you may have had some of those times and feelings in your life
already.
When those times happen, you must tap into a stronger belief.
A resiliency.
A fighting spirit.
A loyalty to yourself.
Choose to believe there is always a way.
And…when it seems that there isn't a path, know that you are capable of
creating one.
Choose to stay the course, no matter how difficult.
Build an unwavering belief that you will lead yourself to success.
Be Strong.
Be Boston Strong.
In honor of this great city and the victims, family and friends of the
118th Boston Marathon. Thank you for being an example and sharing
your "Believe in Boston" spirit with the world.
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LESSONS FROM MY TRAVELS
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12.5 Life Lessons Learned in Key West
There are plenty of life lessons one could learn from visiting Key West.
For the last three years, my mom and I have visited Key West to attend the
Singer and Songwriter Country Music Festival.
There is so much to take in from the experience. Even if you are not a
country music fan, the sun, the breeze and the unique and the
indescribable vibe of the Keys is a bonus.
The festival is one where many famous songwriters and country music stars
either begin their journey or catapult their careers to the next level. The
songwriters filter in and out of bars lining the Key West shore in their tshirts, shorts and flip flops with their guitars strapped to their backs.
Ready to perform.
Ready to share their gift with the world.
Ready to pour everything they have in hopes that it will connect and make a
difference to someone in the audience.
The emotion and energy being exchanged with the crowd is something so
real and tangible. It feels at times it would be possible to reach out and
touch the vibration of energy.
Most of the performers are signing at this venue for the first time while
some are veteran performers.
However, experience and number of years performing doesn't seem
to change the lessons here.
As I watched...I learned.
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Here are 12.5 lessons learned from Key West:
1. There is infinite power in understanding and using your own personal
creativity.
2. There is a first time for everyone and everything.
3. It is inevitable that things will go wrong, go differently than expected, not
work, etc. But, the show must go on and you, as the performer, must roll
with whatever unexpected experiences come your way.
4. No matter how scared you are, challenge yourself to rise to the occasion
and you will be amazed at how your skills respond.
5. People want to connect to something that makes them feel, takes them
back in time or inspires them to think beyond today and look forward in time
to think about the future.
6. Most importantly, we all want to feel and connect to the intensity of the
present moment. Music and many other things can help transport us to that
place.
7. Use Your Talent to Heal Your Pain - we all have emotional pain and scars
we need to heal. Each of us have also been blessed with a gift, a talent if you
will to share with the world. In this case, these performers have been
blessed with the gift of singing and songwriting to pour their souls, pain and
dreams onto a page. With the hope that the words will connect with
someone and create an unforgettable experience.
8. Discover the unique creative talent you possess - the talent that could be
developed into your passion because of how it ignites your heart and feeds
your soul. The talent that helps you to know and feel you matter in this
world. Then figure out a way to pour yourself into developing the talent
every single day.
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9. Understand and expect that when you have an extraordinary vision for
your life, there is no straight path to success.
10. The ability each one of us has to make an impact on someone else's
heart, mind and soul is underestimated and undervalued. Every single
person has the ability to make an impact and influence someone’s life.
11. Life is made out to be way more difficult than it really is...just smile,
relax, breathe and enjoy the moment.
12. Everything is better in shorts and flip flops.
And…
12.5. Everything is better in Key West.
Looking through the Life Lenses on Decisions
I was in one of those cute little beach shops in 2014 browsing around
aimlessly.
Sitting quietly in the corner on a glass shelf was one of those washed up
wooden signs with the quote, Bad Decisions Make Good Stories.
I laughed hysterically when I saw it thinking about all of those good stories I
could tell…and obviously the bad decisions that had to come before them so
I had the story to share.
This quote has stuck with me ever since. Partially because I think the quote
is so true for me, but because it can have so many meanings.
Here is a different way to look at those bad decisions:
No decision is ever bad.
Make a decision.
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Learn what works for you and what doesn't.
Understand that consequences follow each choice.
If you have already been down the path before and know the consequences,
you have a choice to choose to make the same decision knowing the
outcome. If you are on a new path and unsure of what lies ahead…all the
more reason to make a decision and step into faith toward the unknown.
Then, the next time you are in the situation to create a great story, make the
choice.
1. A bad decision
Or…
2. Learning from previous bad decisions and choosing to create a different
outcome.
Either way, live your life so there are no regrets, live in every moment and
remember, bad decisions make great stories.
Map = Direction....Next Time...Look at the Map!
In April of 2013, I had the opportunity to see Tony Robbins and Oprah in
New York City watching a live filming of Oprah’s Lifeclass.
While I was there, I was able to wander the city and experience all of its
magic. As I was wrapping up the day, leaving the Gershwin Theatre, I walked
out to a light drizzle of rain.
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It obviously wasn't ideal to be walking in the rain, but I thought to myself, I
am not far and I can handle a little rain. So I shrugged off the weather and
continued on my way back to my hotel.
I was confident I didn’t need to look at a map to get to my destination. I
knew I was close to my hotel and had faith in myself that I could find it.
I also didn't need an umbrella or… so I thought.
I walked…walked… and walked some more, until all of that walking got me
thinking:
Maybe I don't know where I am going?
Maybe I should have looked at my map?
Maybe I should have stopped to buy an umbrella?
But…I didn’t do either.
I had been walking in circles for 90 minutes. In those 90 minutes, my
emotional state started to shift from certainty to uncertainty as I felt
frustration, fear and confusion.
A sense of powerlessness wash over me as I walked.
Finally, my hotel appeared before my eyes. I made it back and I was soaking
wet, cold and so tired. My thoughts were racing and I began to question my
actions and decisions from earlier in the night.
Why didn't I stop to look at my map?!
Why didn't I stop at one of the 500 umbrella stands to buy an umbrella?!
Why didn't I double-check my map to guide my direction when I left the
theatre?
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I thought out loud as I stood there dripping wet, if I would have bought a
map, I would have at least known the direction I needed to go to reach my
final destination.
When the unexpected turns and downpours occurred along the way, I could
have stopped and regrouped my plan. I could have easily purchased an
umbrella to protect me from the conditions and continued walking.
Without a direction, I was spinning in circles and creating emotions
that weren’t helping me reach my final destination.
Here is the lesson I learned from this experience:
The next time I am starting out on a new journey or continuing on a current
journey, I need to make sure that I have a clear direction. If I can’t find a
clear direction, I must do the work to find a map.
When all else fails…I can always buy an umbrella!
Be a Risk Taker
I had the chance to meet and learn from Jillian Michaels and Suze Orman at
a conference in March of 2012. From my perspective, this experience was an
opportunity of a lifetime.
Now, some of you may be saying:
They were both amazing…
Inspiring.
Motivational.
Non-Apologetic.
Bold.
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Authentic.
Personable.
Caring.
Tough.
Challenging.
As I was standing in line, waiting to speak to Jillian, I realized that I wasn't
nervous.
I was calm.
Poised.
Excited.
She greeted me like she had known me for years, signed my book and wrote
a little note:
To Jodi...feel the fear, move through it, do it anyway. -- Jillian
In speaking with her, I asked:
"What do you tell yourself when you are struggling to keep going?"
"Have faith in yourself, your abilities” she said, “and patience that the
opportunity will come when you are ready. There may be things and lessons
we have to go through before we are ready. It is better to be over-seasoned
than under-seasoned."
I acknowledged her for her insight and moved along my way.
Thinking.
Reflecting.
Watching.
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Observing.
After watching Jillian, Suze and many other well-known experts interact, I
came to the realization that, there is no armor people like Suze or Jillian
wear that makes them unbreakable. They have fallen and picked themselves
back up. They are human, just like me and you.
One undeniable fact is, both women are living their dream and fulfilling their
purpose. They choose, to plan, work and then… work more.
They choose to commit to an unwavering purpose, to be resilient, to get out
of their own way and to stop making excuses.
These choices allow for them to learn from their mistakes.
What may be the most important ingredient to their recipe for success?
They have chosen to dream and… have found the guts to follow those
dreams.
What is your dream?
Do you have the guts to follow it?
Be Ready to Just Start Over
I was on a plane heading back from a business trip to Phoenix. Quietly
perched in an exit row all to yourself, enjoying your luck, and noticed that
the two gentleman, in the aisle across from you had become friends and
were fully engaged in a conversation about the Air Force, flight simulators,
places they had lived and a variety of other topics. I faded in and out of the
conversation for the 45 minute duration of the flight.
As I found myself interested in the conversation again, I heard the older
gentleman, who had the majority of the flight simulation experience say to
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the younger gentleman, “When it is not working, just push the reset button
and start over.”
I thought it was powerful, yet simple thought because there have been
times when I have gotten so wrapped up in the seriousness of where I was
going, where I should be going, what isn't working, what I wish were
different....the list goes on and on and on.
When really, it is quite simple, if something is not working to help me grow
or if my mind is taking me down a path that will cause me to crash and burn,
I must make a different choice.
Similar to the conversation from the airplane. When things aren’t going as
you hope, just make the choice to just push the reset button and start over.
Simple concept, but not necessarily easy.
The moments of knowing when to reset can prevent us from crashing and
burning. The next time, you find yourself in a life simulator scenario where
you are headed for a tail spin, take the time to tap into the remote control
of your mind...push reset and give yourself permission to start over.
Be a Believer
It was October of 2012, my eyes were intently glued to my computer screen
trying to cross the imaginary finish line on my to-do list I would chase to
complete day-after-day.
I had become so in tune with my work, my fingers seemed to automatically
type and send emails without any further thought.
I had the TV on in the background.
Tuned into one of my new favorite stations, OWN – Oprah Winfrey Network.
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As my fingers created and sent emails, my mind turning out the next project,
initiative, plan, strategy.....the dull voices in the TV background were just
there...existing.
As much as I loved Oprah, there was nothing happening that triggered me
to step out of the focused work space I had happily pulled myself into.
Then, out of nowhere I heard, when people show you who they are, believe
them.
I stopped because these words caught my attention.
There have been countless times in my life when people have shown me
who they were through their actions, words, inaction, lack of follow through
and I chose not to believe them.
I made it my job to fix them, to save them.
I wanted to rescue them from themselves in order to make them something
different then who they were. In my mind, I thought, they have to be
miserable because they keep showing up this way. I figured I could help them
out of their pain and believe they could have something different, be more
and do more.
I realized over time, this was not my responsibility.
I choose to believe that people are who they are when they always show up
the same way, time after time, day-after-day, and experience after
experience.
The reality is, because we choose to be, think and feel exactly what we want,
there is no need for me or anyone else to save anyone.
Each of us, are right where we need to be in this moment to learn the
lessons we are meant to learn.
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One Foot In Front of the Other to Las Vegas I Go!
I have dreams.
Some think, too big of dreams.
But, that is okay.
We all have big dreams, whether we choose to follow them or not is a
different story.
Sometimes, when I think about how big my dreams really are, I can easily
talk myself out of remembering that the Oprah's, Steve Jobs, and Bill Gates',
of the world all had big dreams and were normal just like me.
The only difference between them and everyone else is….they choose to put
one foot in front of the other to take the steps toward achieving those
dreams.
I remember my first big move from home. I made the trek from Cincinnati
Ohio to Las Vegas Nevada.
Prior to accepting the job offer, I had created some really good reasons in
my mind why I shouldn't, couldn't, and why it would be a really bad idea to
move at this time.
It was all crap.
All excuses I had made up in my mind to make myself feel better.
A way to stay comfortable.
After all, staying with what we know is comfortable. Comfort is easy and it is
familiar.
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I had sold myself on some really good excuses as to why I couldn't accept
the great job opportunity. I was fortunate.
At the time, I had two very strong mentors in this decision process
that pushed me mentally, emotionally and physically to put one foot closer
to the proverbial edge of the cliff that involved...leaving everything I had
ever known.
It was big, it was really difficult, and....scary!
The more I chose to look for excuses, the more excuses I found.
The easier it was to sell myself on why I couldn't walk forward into the
unknown.
Now, looking back over two and a half years from this experience, it was one
of the best decisions I have ever made.
I endured an experience, I never thought possible.
At times, I wanted nothing more than for it all to be what I was used to it
being. I wanted it to go back to the way it was....comfortable, familiar, and
easy.
There were days when I thought, I couldn't do it anymore.
However, there was a secret that got me through.
The secret was... to put one foot in front of the other.
Take one more step.
Make one more choice.
Make the choice to give another day all that you have.
Trust that you will be okay, because you have always been okay.
Make the choice to trust yourself.
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Fear…is just fear.
Don’t allow fear to help you make decisions and live your life in the past.
Fear is not a companion you need.
Face the unknown.
Put one foot in front of the other.
And walk proudly through the tunnel.
Coming out the other side.
And.
Knowing.
That you did it.
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LESSONS FROM LEADERS HIP AND THE
OFFICE
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Be the Leader You Would Follow
As leaders, of our own lives and leaders to each other, we get the
opportunity to witness growth and transformation before our eyes every
day.
Leadership and coaching others to achieve their best life is a passion of
mine. I remember my first promotion into management. I was so excited. I
thought to myself I could transition into the role seamlessly and implement
all of the wonderful things I had read in books, combined with my own
personal ideas and I would be an amazing leader.
Boy, did I get a dose of reality?!
It took me a short six months to fall flat on my face, want to give up and
march into my superior’s office to tell her that hiring me was a mistake.
I am thankful she didn’t blink an eye to my request and responded abruptly
with these words, “you are not quitting. If I didn’t think you were capable of
doing the job, I wouldn’t have hired you. You are going to dig in, figure it out
and get it done.”
As I wiped my tears, forced myself back out to be with the team that I had
told myself in my mind, I couldn’t and didn’t know how to lead. I followed
her words of wisdom and dug in, I sat with the people I lead, I focused on
understanding their needs, I listened, I coached and made their growth my
priority.
The miracle that occurred right before my eyes was my team’s sudden
interest in following me as their leader. This experience taught me how to
live and embody the concept of serving others through leadership.
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The leadership lessons this experience also taught me were:
1. In leadership, it is not about you, it is about the people you serve.
Their success is a reflection of your effectiveness as their leader.
2. A strong leader is a strong developer of talent. As a leader, be
mindfully present in the coaching and talent
development sessions.
3. It is not about where you want them to get during the coaching
session… or in life. This is their journey, their growth and their
evolution. Your role is to guide and lead by example.
4. Be the leader you would follow. As a leader, be committed to living
the message you expect of others.
5. Model the actions and behaviors you want those who follow you
to exhibit.
A good question to help you determine if you are on track with your actions
and behaviors as a leader, is to ask yourself, would you follow you?”
What do You Want to Be Known For?
What do you want to be known for?
A question that when it was posed to me, I was sure I knew the answer right
away. However, as I allowed myself to sink into the question, the details that
unfolded made the answer much more complex than I initially expected.
My initial response was, I want to be known for being me, authentically
being me.
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I was clear on this initial response because I have already experienced life by
trying to put myself in the metaphorical box where I marked and calculated
my every move and word to try and be brand approved.
I created myself with the thought that I needed to be someone different
than who I really was to please others and achieve their vision of who I
thought I should be.
The initial response of, I want to be known for being me, was accurate.
However, there is more, much more that I want to be known for as a leader
in business and in life.
This lesson in leadership helped me understand that I wanted to be known
as:
1. A guide who elevates people to be their best self.
2. A leader who challenges people to achieve more than they ever
thought possible.
3. A mind that dreams bigger than people think is realistic.
4. A creative soul that makes people scratch their heads perplexed.
5. An individual that helps other people recognize their purpose and
inspire them to believe they can make a difference
6. A developer and coach of the world’s top talent.
7. A leader who breeds creativity, empowerment and innovation
amongst followers.
8. One who creates an environment where people feel respected, want
to work hard and feel comfortable being themselves.
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9. I want to challenge people to move out of their own way to fulfill their
maximum potential and their purpose.
10.Tenacious, resilient and have the ability to relate to almost anyone
that I come into contact with because of being able to relate to their
story.
11.A hard worker who always gives 110%, even when there may be
nothing else to give.
12.The individual that always believes where there is a will, there is a
way.
13.The visionary that is able to connect strategy, mission and purpose to
achieve results.
14.The coach who helps people diagnose and create a plan of action that
yields more than they ever knew they were capable of achieving.
15.The leader who lives by the motto, be the leader you would follow.
16.A fellow human being who walks and experiences the journey
alongside each one of you.
What do you want to be known for?
Be Responsible for Your Energy
“Be responsible for the energy you bring into this space.”
Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor
I love this quote by Dr. Bolte Taylor. When I read this quote, I interpret it to
represent that we have to take responsibility for our emotions, actions,
behaviors. We have to take responsibility because how we act, what we feel
and the things we do directly contribute to our relationships, work
environments, day-to-day interactions and the overall creation of our life.
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It is easy to lose sight of how important being responsible for our personal
energy can be in the busy flow of life. The energy, emotion and feelings we
feel, can easily impact ourselves and those in our space.
I was driving to work on a cool fall morning and saw an older man standing
at the corner of his white picket fenced yard. The grass was cut perfectly and
the yard and house combination would have been a perfect picture for a
Better Homes and Gardens magazine profile article.
The older man standing at the corner of his yard gazing in pride over what
he had created. He had an energy about him. An energy that I could sense
even sitting in the car at the stoplight. It was an energy of pride,
accomplishment, and ownership over the space he had designed and
offered up to the world. I could tell he was proud because he stood tall and
poised, just taking a moment to appreciate the space he had worked so hard
to create.
What does it mean to be proud of the spaces we create?
How does your space make you feel?
We are responsible for the energy we bring into the spaces we live. The
spaces we live end up being the spaces we create with our energy. The
space we create is not only a representation of who we are as individuals,
but it is also our legacy to the world.
The space we create, is a message to the world how we are feeling about
ourselves and where we are in our life.
What does your space say about you?
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Be Strong and Build Your Strength
Transitioning through life can be challenging. Transition can feel like mud
that pulling away at your confidence. Transition can also provide you with
the experiences and opportunities to grow into the person you know you
can become. The space of transition is an unknown, uneasy place that
causes you to question yourself, your abilities and your existence.
Strength is one of the keys to moving through life transition. Strength
appears in four primary forms: mental, physical, spiritual and emotional. As
you progress from one stage to another you grow and develop new abilities
and skills growing stronger.
Through my lessons of transition, I have experienced five common indicators
of transition that help you to know you have an opportunity to build
strength:
1. Allowing your emotions to completely drive your decision-making process.
2. Your mind focuses only on the things that aren’t working and views
everything from a lens of negativity.
3. Your physical body feels heavy and physical movement feels "thick".
4. A feeling of wanting out of a situation or circumstance.
5. Sense of physical aches, pains or stiffness.
Building mental, emotional, physical and spiritual strength happens by
picking up one foot and placing it in front of the other. Moving without
expectation and marching like a soldier on a mission with the pride, purpose
and belief that you are experiencing this space, this transition, for a reason.
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Strength is built when you have small wins to build confidence. Strength is
the voice that tells you just keep going.
Be Thoughtful
Creating awareness of your behavior and your thoughts is a task that is
much easier said than done. This part of your journey and self-growth takes
time, it takes patience and most importantly, it takes effort to want to
create a different outcome.
I have grown in my thinking over time with the help of four guiding
questions. I have found these four questions can be used on the smallest
and largest of decisions:
1. Will you be proud of yourself if you move forward with the action or
behavior you are considering?
2. How will the outcome of this action or behavior make you feel?
3. What thoughts will you have about yourself with the feelings that are
created if you follow through with the action or behavior?
4. How will these thoughts impact your future behavior and how you feel
about yourself?
Here are the lessons learned from looking at life with different thoughts
and…different lenses:
Connecting to a sense of purpose is the fullness we all are chasing and
searching to find.
Purpose is not found in the superficial and short-term feelings created by
food, clothes, relationships; money…the list goes on and on.
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We connect to a sense of purpose when we accomplish the small actions
and behaviors that create a sense of self-pride. When we take the small
steps every day to have an impact on our own lives, we become proud of
who we are and what we contribute to the world.
How you view your contribution to the world will ultimately determine your
feelings about your value, self-worth and self-confidence.
When you believe, know and act on purpose, you are able to create
thoughts and outcomes that make a difference in your own life and the lives
of those around you.
A Recipe to Create Your Own Kind of Magic
Whether you realize it or not, we are all in a constant state of development.
A moving process of finding ingredients that make up the recipe for our own
kind of magic.
What tools and ingredients are you using in the recipe to develop and
discover your magic?
I am not talking about a pull a rabbit out of a hat kind of magic. I am
referring to developing, designing and defining the magic that makes you
know, feel and believe you have purpose.
My own personal growth process has helped me to discover three primary
ingredients that play a role in anyone cooking up the recipe to create their
own magic.
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Here are the tools you need to begin cooking up your magic:
1. Self- Confidence = The Baking Pan
The pan is the initial structure that holds all of the ingredients together,
keeping the correct shape and cooking the recipe to perfection. Our selfconfidence is the foundation for how we choose to think about ourselves,
our abilities and the value of our role in the universe. Self-confidence is the
core of what you believe about yourself and your perceived value. Your selfconfidence has a ripple effect on the choices you make and your
engagement in your own life and the investment you choose to make in
your growth. Without a sturdy and reliable baking pan, you can still throw
the ingredients in the oven, but you will probably have a mess to clean up.
2. Discipline and Accountability for Your Choices = The Measuring Cups
The measuring cups represent the discipline of your choices and
accountability for using the correct measurements of each ingredient. The
amount of ingredients you use in your recipe has a significant impact on the
overall outcome you are trying to create. Too much or too little of a specific
ingredient can alter the end result. Your choices in life are driven by how you
feel about yourself. If you have a plan for where you want to go and what
you are striving to create, your choices will be more controlled, specific and
in alignment with your vision. If you are struggling to see value in who you
are, what you do or the life you have created, your choices will likely show
up as impulsive, unfocused and potentially deconstructive.
3. Engagement and Belief in You = The Oven
Engagement and belief in you will help you to maintain the right
temperature and cook your recipe to perfection. If the belief and confidence
you have in yourself wavers, the end result may be undercooked,
overcooked or just down right burnt to a crisp. The belief in yourself, your
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value and your purpose in the world sets the temperature for how hard you
work, the level of effort you give and how you choose to show up each day.
What temperature is your oven set on?
The next step is to choose the right ingredients. Think of your mind as being
on a daily shopping trip in preparation for baking or cooking your favorite
dish. Your mind has the opportunity to shop for ingredients in every
moment. The ingredients for creating your magic may include: choices,
beliefs, actions, behaviors, attitude, perceptions and reactions to
circumstances. The ingredients you choose to pull off of the shelf will
ultimately create the final product.
How are you using the tools to create your recipe?
Are you consciously pulling the ingredients off of the shelf or just throwing
stuff in as it comes your way?
Be Proud
In all my years serving in the corporate world, the roller coaster of change
helped me to become resilient, agile and accept what is, rather than fight or
resist for something different.
I learned through many changes and experiences that the only thing we can
count on is change. The only thing we have control over is ourselves, our
personal growth and how we choose to lead our lives every day.
At the end of the day, when I am ready to close my eyes, end another day,
and await the opportunity to start fresh the next day, I ask myself:
Am I proud of everything that I did today?
The way I treated people?
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The choices I made?
The way I behaved?
The level of effort I put into every conversation?
If I can answer yes as I review the day in my mind, then I am on the right
path.
If the answer is no as I rewind the day in the tape of my mind, I reflect. In
reflecting, I think about what I need to do differently next time to be proud
and make it right.
What can I learn from the circumstance so I don't repeat the same
behaviors?
Albert Einstein said, “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over
and over again and expecting a different result."
The vision of the lesson lenses can be strengthened through personal
reflection and self-awareness at the end of every day. Reflecting on the
things that can be controlled; your choices, behaviors and decisions.
These reflections help you to make sure, you can say, am I proud of myself
today?
Be Ready
How often do you take the time to plan?
The time to prepare?
Do you ever really slow down long enough to think about what you need to
work on and develop yourself to be ready when the opportunity you want,
arrives?
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The reactive mentality would be to wait for the opportunity to present itself
and then scramble to try and make yourself fit.
It requires a different way of thinking to be disciplined and to take proactive
steps to develop yourself.
Being ready is hard work.
It requires one to do the work that most people won't or don't want to do.
It takes constant effort.
Being ready takes honesty with oneself to get better.
Asking the hard questions.
Being ready takes passion. It means working when others are sleeping.
Dreaming when others are doubting and creating when others are waiting.
Take the time to be ready.
You never know when the next opportunity will show up.
Will you be ready when it does?
Be Responsible for Your Thoughts
I have been fortunate to have many mentors both in my professional career
and my personal life. Trustworthy mentors that are respected can be a very
important part of the journey in personal and professional growth.
I had one mentor in particular who was influential for me during the early
years of my professional career. Through his guidance, he helped me to
learn many life lessons under his coaching and leadership.
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I distinctly remember one of many conversations I had with this particular
individual in mid-December of 2010. The guidance he provided me was in
reference to worrying too about and trying control the actions of others
through my own expectations. The words he said to me were staggering,
difficult to hear and unforgettable. He said, “no one should have that much
power over you.”
I quickly agreed, and understood that I have a tendency to hand over my
power too easily trying to control situations or the behavior of others, which
we can all relate is ultimately a losing battle.
During this particular discussion, this mentor helped me to see that conflict
and challenge with other individuals who may be going through their own
growth process was really my own personal opportunity to grow and learn
rather than being a painful experience that had to be endured.
The lessons learned during this time of my professional career can be
summarized into six points:
1. Control what you can control.
2. Accept people for who they are and where they are in their own growth
process.
3. You are not second best and you shouldn’t see yourself that way.
4. You are not going to change people. If you want to change something,
change the way you think about situations that trigger your frustration.
5. Your issues are not about someone else, they are about you.
Who are your mentors and how are they helping you?
Who looks to you as their mentor and how are you helping them grow?
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Be Patient with Time
Opportunity is everywhere.
Opportunity isn't always the next big move, the new career or the ideal next
step.
Sometimes, opportunity disguises itself as pain, hurt, sorrow, fear or anger.
Sometimes, opportunity shows up as happiness, security, love and success.
Opportunities challenge our minds, stretch us past our comfort zone and
strengthen our drive. Opportunities are passageways to transition to the
next level of personal growth.
When the opportunities we are hoping for or expecting don’t show up
exactly when and how we think they are supposed to, fear begins to take
over filling your head with thoughts that the opportunity meant for you has
gone and passed.
Fear creates the action of trying too hard and forcing an outcome before it is
ready to be born.
Forcing it on your time.
Your deadlines.
When this happens to me, I am reminded of a lesson I have had the pleasure
learning over and over again…
Patience.
Patience to focus my energy on my growth rather than putting all of my
energy on trying to control how fast the hands of time move for my
expectations.
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I have learned from the past that when I try too hard, I end up forcing and
pushing what I want farther away. Although, when I allow my path to unfold
and manifest as it is meant to for me, at the appropriate time, everything
always works to conspire in my favor.
Being aware of when you are trying too hard and be willing to take a step
back to allow things to manifest naturally is a lesson in itself.
A lesson in letting go of control and expectation.
A lesson in patience.
The lesson of learning from the experience in the moment and not wanting
anything different than the now.
Trust the opportunities that are meant for you are on their way…even when
it doesn’t happen on your timeline.
Be patient, it will come when it and you are ready.
Be Your Own Hero
In an early morning leadership huddle back in 2012, I was participating in an
icebreaker activity with my team. The question each person had to answer
during the activity was, who is your hero and why?
What one person would you put on that pedestal to be...your hero?
I paused and thought, who would I classify as a hero in my life?
Then I thought, what do I define as heroic characteristics?
As I continued to reflect, I realized, I have many, many heroes.
My heroes are the individuals in my life who have taught me lessons.
Lessons that have helped steer, guide, and change my course of direction.
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Many of these heroes didn't even know they were my heroes or that they
had taught me lessons. They probably didn’t realize I viewed them as a hero
because they were just being themselves. Through their actions, I was able
to watch, listen and learn what I did want to be and what I didn't want to
be. My heroes have helped me identify, shape and create the person, life
and human being I am today.
Although my definition of a hero may not be one that illustrates a dynamic,
super-powered, muscle popping, cape wearing character that swoops in to
save the day, they have helped me to realize what to do and what not to do.
One mistake, lesson, observation, conversation and decision at a time.
When you hear the word hero, what comes to your mind?
Who are the heroes in your life and why?
Be the Rock
There were many times during my experience in the corporate world, I
found myself feeling like it wasn’t fair that I had to carry all of the weight and
responsibility for my team.
It felt like no matter what happened, I had to be the strong one keeping
people focused on the task at hand and the vision to continue moving
forward. One day in particular I had been wrestling with this feeling in my
mind and shared my thoughts with a trusted and respected mentor. He
responded with clarity and confidence with, be the rock.
He made it sound simple and said, “as a leader people look to you and rely
on you to be their rock. No matter what crosses the path. Your job is to be
the stability, the constant and the calm.”
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I realized in this conversation, that while at times it may not seem fair, it was
part of my responsibility, as the leader, to keep people focused. It was also
part of my responsibility as a leader to be a consistent form of safety people
looked toward to reassure them that everything would be okay. After all, we
are human and one of the basic functions of our existence is the need to feel
safe and secure.
As a leader in everyday life, being the rock means to stand strong and
steadfast where you are, no matter the conditions. Similar to a tree
weathering the storm, moving with the wind as not to break. While at the
same time deeply rooted and looking above the chaos to set the vision for
the road ahead.
Life can easily pull us into mental and emotional chaos with all of the storms
that pop-up in everyday life. Just like the eye of the hurricane, the rock is the
calm in the chaos.
My lesson from this experience taught me that each one of us is a rock to
someone else. Most importantly, we are the rock for ourselves.
Being the rock is a huge responsibility.
Who do you look to as your rock?
Who looks to you as theirs?
Be the Leader of Your Life
Often when people hear the word, leader they associate it with things like
title, position, money, achievement or power. While these associations may
be a part of what defines a leader, it is not the lens that will help us to see
the true meaning of the word.
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My belief is that we are all leaders of our own journey. Think of your life as
the organization you have been appointed and chosen to lead as the CEO. As
the CEO of your own life, one of your most important responsibilities is
managing our own behavior, thoughts and actions.
The twists and turns of life can make it easy to lose sight that you are the
only one responsible for your success. Being a leader of your life requires
you to be the advocate for your dreams. You are responsible for being the
one to believe and work for all that you want in life. Leadership is a
responsibility only you can own and execute.
Being the CEO of your life is about standing up for what you believe, even
when you might be the only one standing. You stand in pride because you
know it is the right thing to do for you.
Leadership is taking action to make things happen, even when you may not
know the way. As a leader, you know you will get knocked down but you
make the conscious choice to walk through fear with blazing courage to go
for it anyway.
Leadership is being mentally, emotionally and physically prepared to pick
yourself up, dust off, learn your lessons and be better because of your
experience. Leadership is taking the initiative to invest in your own personal
growth and development. There is only one leader has full control and
power over what is written in the story of your life…YOU.
You have the power to write this story.
What will you write on the pages of your book and how will it end?
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One Chapter Closes and Another Begins…
After a seven-year journey in the corporate world in July of 2014, that
chapter of my story is now closed. The pages of this book are closed gently
and lovingly as I move forward into the unknown.
I always said I wanted to live my life as a recreation of a combination of my
two favorite movies, Into the Wild and Eat Pray Love. At this point in life, it
seems as though I have an opportunity to do just that. My opportunity is to
set out into the unknown with faith, belief in my vision and all that I have
learned up to this point to make my magic happen.
When I came to Massachusetts I was unknowingly wrapped in the chains I
had created for myself. Self-imposed chains of what I thought everyone else
wanted me to be. While this thought process and my friend the ego served
me well at times and gave me a very successful and fulfilling career, I have
come to understand and find times when this approach is no longer serving
me. This survival tool was no longer serving me because instead of the tool
being an effective way to drive success, I had actually began to shift into
patterns of fear, doubt and stepping out of my authentic self to be what
others wanted me to be, rather than allowing it to be okay for me to just be
myself.
As I close this book, it only felt right to include the lessons learned from
seven years in the corporate world. The following is a reflection of the
lessons and skills learned from the closing of one chapter and the opening of
a new.
1. You are always a leader, whether you want to be or not – we look to each
other to decide what we want to be and what we don’t want to be. As we
observe, we see habits that help us determine what will get us to where we
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want to go and the person we want to become. Whether you realize it or
not, someone is always watching. Would you follow you?
2. Time is the most valuable commodity – just like kids who prefer to have
time with their parents over gifts and money, the opportunity to spend time
focused on doing what you love is a treasure with an unmarked value.
3. You are only expected to be yourself - you are the only one who can be
you.
4. Allow learning to happen - the experiences of life will teach you
everything you need to know. Be the student, then pass along your life
wisdom to become a teacher to others who view you as their leader.
5. The experience is in the details - the overall experience of life comes from
attention and power in the details. The small things do matter.
6. Be Clear – being clear requires simplicity and simplicity requires knowing
the material so deeply there isn’t a need to over talk, overthink or overdo.
I close this chapter with immense gratitude and support for all I have
learned and the person those experiences have molded me into becoming
today.
Now, in front of me, I have an opportunity to chase my dreams.
They say New England is the land of new beginnings.
I set out on this road to a new beginning with bravery, courage, strength and
excitement.
Excitement for the unknown.
Freedom to create the vision and world I imagine and live the life I know will
create new experiences that will challenge and push me into new spaces.
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This new beginning gives me an opportunity to create something new from a
different perspective.
A different lens.
Here’s to New England…
To…
New thoughts.
New experiences.
And…
New beginnings.
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Acknowledgements
There are so many people, places and experiences that helped me to create
this book. First, I would like to thank my friends and family for their support,
laughter and encouragement. Even when they think my dreams are bigger
than reality, the still encourage me to reach beyond the stars.
Thank you to the Yoga Sanctuary in Las Vegas and Open Doors Yoga Studio
in Massachusetts for providing a space for me to build a deep connection
with my yoga practice. I credit my practice with being the tool I have used to
transform myself physically, mentally and emotionally.
All of my gratitude and heartfelt thanks to the many colleagues and mentors
I had along my professional journey at the University of Phoenix. The
guidance, wisdom and opportunities provided to me to learn, grow, make
mistakes and develop the leadership philosophy I have today would not
have been possible without the University and those who believed in me
when I didn’t believe enough in myself.
The light in me recognizes and appreciates the divine light in each and every
one of you.
Namaste.
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About the Author
Dr. Jodi Ashbrook is Founder and CEO of The Be
Brand® and the Joga Workshop Experience™.
She is a writer and speaker who integrates her
personal development coaching in both her 1:1
and group work. Ashbrook is also a certified
Yoga Alliance Instructor and thrives off creating
experiences for people to grow, reflect, connect
to themselves and find the courage to believe in
their dreams.
Born and raised in Southern Ohio, Ashbrook
earned her Bachelor’s Degree in Business and
went on to complete her Doctorate of
Education.
For the past decade Dr. Ashbrook has been recognized for her visionary
leadership and the development of talented leaders across multiple sectors.
Jodi’s 1:1 mentorships, group workshops and personal development tools
have taught hundreds of people how to become the most confident and
successful version of themselves. The soul behind Jodi’s work is to influence
the way people think about and see the world.
An avid yogi, runner and traveler Jodi thrives in environments where she is
able to harness her creative energy to make a meaningful and impactful
difference in the world. One of Jodi’s goals is to inspire others to become
aware of the powerful lessons to be carved from everyday life experiences.
She illustrates examples of how we are all students and that life is our most
challenging and inspiring teacher through her writing. Jodi’s writing has been
featured at Sources of Insight, Under30CEO and as a regular columnist at
She Takes on the World.
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You can follow Dr. Jodi’s blog, download self-help tools, inspirational quotes
and see her upcoming events and most recent projects at
www.jodiashbrook.com.
Dr. Jodi believes we are all leaders. Leaders of our own personal journey. As
a leader in business and in life, she lives by the philosophy, be the leader you
would follow.
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Other Available Self-Help Tools
You may also want to check out other self-help resources and worksheets Dr.
Jodi offers at http://jodiashbrook.com/self-help-tools/.
Inspiration and Self-Empowerment
Time Management and Planning
Creating a Vision for Success
Understanding Your Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats
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