1. religion and spirituality
2. christianity

THE JOURNEY LETTERS
Love, Richelle
TABLE OF CONTENTS
FOR:
DADDY-O / DAD
BULLET / BIRD
BOB / ROBERO / HUNK
“G” BOB
1. FINAL THOUGHTS, FIRST February 2015
2. THE JOURNEY LETTERS:
Take No Prisoners “Sports Theme” December 2014
Christmastime “The Messiah” December 2014
Puzzles December 2014
AT WAR January 2015
The Great Physician February 2015
3. “TEAM GRACE” cartoon January 2015
4. FROM THE HEART poems from previous
5. DAD DOCUMENTARY February 2015
6. MAN OF MANY HATS February 2015
7. TEACHING MOMENTS February 2015
8. BEST of BTOWN March 2015
9. SHOUT OUTS March 2015
before 2015
FINAL THOUGHTS…FIRST
So, I am sitting here in the hospice saddened by all of the unfinished “journey letters” that I did not get a chance to write
to my dad. Some of the unwritten titles that came to my mind (that are obviously not in this book) were: WATER,
MONEY MATTERS, AMAZING GRACE & HISTORY AT ITS BEST. Each time I was moved to write a letter for my dad I tried
to “theme” it and tailor it to something he could easily relate to. Sometimes I would start with interesting facts about
that subject, or personal experiences he had or both he & I shared together concerning that matter. I always, however,
included scripture and tied it somehow--someway to God. That was what started the “journey letters” in the first place. I
know he relishes with factual data and the like so I would come up with “sneaky” ways to get the God thing in. Why?
Well, because I knew my dad had limited time left here on this earth. And, since he was private on the whole “church
thing” it pained me to “not know” exactly what his thoughts were on the subject matter. I wanted, nor really, NEEDED
to say some things to him to share the “Good News” in any way I could because that equals LOVE to me. But I knew my
dad wasn’t a church going guy. He would go on “occasion” with my mom to appease, but, if given the chance, his first
choice was to stay home. My dad grew up in the Methodist church & we grew up going to church as a family, but I felt,
(speaking for my dad here) that it was more of a “supposed to go” thing rather than a “want to go” thing. Hey, organized
religion isn’t for everyone….I get it. But since I had a “come to Jesus moment” in my later adult life, I just really really
needed to hear my dad’s heart on the matter.
So, the letters started. I wrote them right out of the gate once we got the news of my dad’s brain MRI scan. Let me
correct myself here, I may have typed up the words, but GOD gave them to me. I could not rest most nights & so, I went
to my computer. You can ask my husband, I literally went to “bed” with that lap top many o nights. I KNEW I had to give
the words to my dad that he could relate to. It couldn’t be too preachy…..it had to be uniquely for Robert Reed Wylie. I
would give my dad a letter each time he would come for a treatment from the pre-op stuff all the way up to the final
visit. I fear he never really read my last one, since his mind could not focus on reading anything at that point for too long
of a time….so, I read it to him, aloud in hospice. That one was called “The Great Physician” which both my dad AND Jesus
were, of course….how ironic that my dad, then, was the “Patient.” Hopefully he heard the words.
As my dad lies there in his bed, breathing rather rapidly I just stare at him and keep thinking to myself…..
”I love that big guy”
(when that phrase pops into my head… it makes me cry every time). I find comfort in his deep breaths because it just
reminds me of when he would fall asleep and he would sometimes snore or breathe intensely. My dad could fall asleep
ANYWHERE. More impressively is that he could fall asleep sitting straight up. It seems he is always at peace when he is
“napping.” I just hope that the stories we are telling as we are sitting here, the multiple emails we read from friends and
loved ones out-loud and the thoughts & prayers from so so many people…well, that, somehow he is hearing.
My final thoughts are really this. LOVE. That is what it is all about. Love from friends, from family, FOR family and most
of all from our Lord, Jesus Christ. Through Him ALL things are possible. And I pray that right now, God is speaking to dad
(unbeknownst to us) and that during this time of his intense breathing….glimpses of heaven are being revealed to dad,
old friends are saying hello and letting him know its ok to come along and Jesus is giving dad any and all info “data” he
needs (that ONLY dad can relate to) to get him to take His righteous hand and let go. “To Let Go and Let God……as it is
said. THAT is the hardest thing for my dad to do but I KNOW he can do it. I pray that he completes this journey of his
with honor and with the grace of God by his side.
Another final thought is HOPE. I sure hope my dad has a comfortable chair to sit & watch IU games in heaven, with a
never-ending glass of red wine complete with a fishing lake view off to the side. I hope he has plenty of articles to read
(with his felt tip red marker for underlining of course) & a big trash can to throw them all away in when he is finished. I
hope he has a big T-bone steak hot & ready to eat and a big piece of sweet tiramisu or rhubarb pie to finish it off. I hope
there is a classic black and white old fashioned movie on with great actors to watch (or Jaws, another one of his
favorites) with all of our past doggies sitting on his lap. I hope he is comforted by a big, fuzzy red blanket. i just hope he
has anything & everything he has ever wanted or dreamed of. He deserves nothing but the best, because………..
”I love that big guy”
I felt the need to START with my final thoughts just because it is the most important reason why this whole “journey
letter” thing started in the first place. It was sourced out of love. It was written because I loved my dad with all of my
heart. It was inspired by God who is the one in control, forever and always. My dad is the reason I am who I am. My dad
taught me to be strong, to be good & he showed me what love looks like. He was my protector, my provider, my rock &
my hero. But my dad was God’s gift TO me. My true “FATHER” knew I needed my earthly “DAD” to get me where I am
today. My “journey” is still happening. I am truly blessed & just needed to acknowledge
And say……..
”I love that big guy” from up above.
Enjoy what’s to come…BOTH in the next pages of reading my dad’s journey and in your own personal one. We all got
one. Make it a good one. Robert Reed Wylie was a wonderful example.
Take
No
Prisoners
“sports theme”
Dad,
I know in the past days you have had some clarity bc of the steroid medicine working. Having you being more
“back to normal” has ALSO relieved pressure on me. It’s a relief to know I have more time & opportunity to
speak my heart into you. So please, try to absorb what I write because I love you with everything I have.
You have been the best father anyone could ever have. You have always been there to support me no matter
how busy your schedule was. You taught me how to be strong. You spoiled me with a good life filled with all
the necessities & special treats but didn’t go too far to where I wouldn’t understand the meaning of hard work,
saving & doing it on my own. You were the best role model to show me how to be disciplined. You also
demonstrated the importance of having fun & enjoying life. Through your career I learned the nobility in caring
for others. Through your achievements I saw all the good you have done. All of your close friends both old and
new are true examples of how many lives you have touched. I can go on forever…..
BUT, there is nothing like seeing your “hero” not operating like they should. There is nothing like sitting with
your father doing a puzzle for hours over Thanksgiving together and watching him put only a few pieces
together. There is nothing like seeing your loved one not be themselves physically. There is nothing like seeing
your dad have a tremor he cannot control while taking his medicine & begging mom for you to stay another
night just so I could be near you & to help watch over you. And, finally, there is nothing like looking at the scans
& hearing the news that was delivered to my father in a dr’s office one weekday afternoon.
Listen to me, ALL of those things combined ALONG with any future issues that will come our way….my heart
could handle IF I knew that YOUR heart would accept the love it deserves. And I don’t mean from mom, or
your daughters, family or friends. I mean Jesus. So pretty please hear me out…..(it’s reminiscent of when I
begged you to stop smoking and I showed you the mayo jar I had been saving up to show you all of the icky
cigarette butts/ashes to get your attention! Or when I wrote a compromise on a piece of paper that I would give
up candy if you would give up smoking…..bc I would DO that for you….I would do ANYTHING….THAT is how
much I love you! )
Again, this is not the time to just continue reading mindlessly just because I asked you to. Please try a NEW
approach. I am asking you to pray over the words on this paper to WHATEVER “higher power” you say you
believe in. I need you to pretend this is one of your precious law cases that you need to review intently, with
sheer focus & concentration so that you don’t miss any details  I KNOW you know how to do that! Your
daughter has important things to say here.
I will take no prisoners!!!!! I am no QUITTER. I do not CARE if it is bothersome to you....I know the
importance of it. Hmmmm, maybe that's why God gave me you as a dad......to INSTILL in me some important
"life lessons" that I could then, in return UTILIZE back on you!!!! Hee hee. Let me RE-ITERATE the point I just
stated…..God GAVE me you as a Dad…….EVERYTHING is a GIFT from God. He gives & He takes away. It
ALL belongs to Him. He created it ALL. Life on this side of heaven is just the “warm up” game. Let’s look at the
meaning behind this lovely phrase you instilled in me…. If someone “takes no prisoners,” when
they try to achieve something they are very determined and do not care about other people's feelings:
SO….right now I don’t CARE about your comfort level AS MUCH AS I care about your salvation.
Dad….for years we’ve tried to “expose” you to God…here and there…..our baptisms, going to church, praying
at the table, sending you emails, trying to get you to read different books, etc. but it has come time to PLEASE
listen to me when I say that there is NOTHING and I mean NOTHING on this planet that means more to me
than your salvation. NOTHING. I’ll say it one more time…NOTHING. And THAT is how important this is to me.
You saying you are not an “atheist” doesn’t comfort me. It just makes me realize more how you are not “getting
the big picture.” So I NEED you to read this carefully…..and take these words close to your heart.
It is time for you to give it the good ole “college try” and break free of the mental chains that are holding your
heart back. But you cannot do it ALONE. And you are not SUPPOSED to. It’s not something that is meant to
be difficult. It doesn’t matter how old you are. Nothing else matters other than that you just ASK for Jesus to
make Himself real to you. And let Him know that you are WILLING to open up to Him. His gift of life after death
is FREE……it doesn’t COST YOU anything….it COST HIM everything (his LIFE). All WE have to do is CRY
OUT to Jesus and let him know we are thankful that He loves us & that we recognize that we NEED him in our
life…no matter HOW we have lived our lives (even IF a “good” life…) because no matter HOW GOOD we
THINK we have “been” it isn’t perfect. BUT God is. And we cannot reach Him UNLESS we cross the bridge to
GET to Him.
God will NOT “take home” those who are “imprisoned” in their own sin. And we ALL have sin in our lives. It
doesn’t have to be MURDER, or STEALING, or something horrible…..it can be just a judging thought in your
head, or a simple white lie……sin is ANYTHING that takes our focus OFF of God. Sin actually translates to
simply mean “missing the mark” ….which we ALL do…we focus on OTHER things….such as work, money,
things, lust, etc. OR just LIFE in general…..or more simply put, just thinking of OURSELVES & not putting Him
first or even acknowledging Him at all. By not thinking about God, Our Creator, NOT confessing our “sins” to
our “higher power” or claiming to NEED Jesus in our lives (because perhaps the whole you can “do it on your
own” mentality plays in here) due to our own PRIDE (which is highest on the list of sins BTW) they are ALL
human “imperfections” which cause us to not SEE God for who HE is and puts us up on our own pedestal
instead of HIM.
Back to the “game” analogy….our life here on earth is just the “warm up” period. It’s a BLIPP on the radar
screen. ALL of the memories you have, experiences you have been through, family you were put into, places
you have lived, people you’ve crossed paths with, IU games attended…..looking back now…..went so fast,
right?! And it’s SAD to think its “over” it’s SAD to think about the things you will “miss” it’s SAD to think of
things you would have done differently, it’s SAD to think about the loved ones you will leave behind.
WELL……WHY do you think that is???? Well let me tell you …..it’s because it IS just a blip…we WERE
meant for MORE……we were created intentionally for ETERNITY. Our hearts were designed by our “higher
power” to WANT to “live forever” that “forever” is just not here on earth. That forever is WITH the ONE who
created us in HEAVEN.
ALL of those things in life, again, are GIFTS that God GIVES us along the way. We don’t “earn” them. BUT
none of them can even compare to the “real game” that lies ahead. The game we were created for. To spend
eternity with our maker. Our designer. To honor & worship the one who did it ALL. The purpose and plan for
our lives was not to see how many trophies we got, awards/achievements we received or things we could
accumulate. Our purpose wasn’t JUST to live a “good life” as best we can, to serve our country & do “good
deeds” and be a good “neighbor” to others……those are all important but…..What REALLY matters most
now????? The people we CONNECTED with, the ones we LOVED & the ones we will leave behind…and the
ones who left before us. It’s ALL about RELATIONSHIPS. Because THAT is how He designed us. FOR
relationships, FOR love, FOR connection. A “pre-season / warm up game” for a relationship with HIM,
ultimately. Our love with others here on earth (friends, family) were a glimpse of the love that He has for us.
We DO all of those good things in our lifetime because we WANT to PLEASE God……it’s in you to do
so……pleasing others & pleasing yourself with all of the “good things” in your life is a noble thing BUT it
shouldn’t be the MAIN reason. We are ABLE to do things because of the GRACE OF GOD allowing it to
happen…..yes, we still had to do the work, but we are blessed by God putting those situations in our lives in
the first place. We are blessed by God by designing us with the gifts & talents to DO those good works. We are
blessed by God by Him putting certain people IN our lives all along the way. We are blessed by God each &
every day HE decides we can still take a breath, keep living & keep trucking along UNTIL we get it.
BUT you have to truly BELIEVE that with your heart. God DEFEATED death….FOR us. He died FOR us. He
covers our sins FOR us. He provides a way FOR us. But it is a CHOICE. It is freely given BUT you HAVE to do
SOMETHING for it. And it is very easy…….you don’t have to “earn” it as a person…….you just have to open
your heart & ASK for it.
It’s just like winning a “game” …..it’s not just going to be handed to an individual player……that player has to
SHOW up for the game…you gotta step up to the plate & SWING……the field is there. Quote from a great
movie: “Build it and they will come” …remember???? Well, God built heaven FOR us……THIS life is not the
last inning……it’s just the warm up batter’s box. ALL of the great things you have been through on this earth
were gifts of God showing just a “glimpse” HIS glory. HE is the “great coach” BUT as a player you must DO
some of the work. The “coach” can provide a stadium (church) great game plan (bible), equipment (people in
your lives) & strategy (Jesus being the way) I can go on and on……BUT as a player you must “get in the
game” you CANNOT just SIT in the dugout “hoping” all of your “hard work” will pay off……..you actually have
to acknowledge you are there, pick up the ball & THROW it. NO ONE else can do it FOR you. And the coach,
no matter HOW BAD He wants you to PLAY cannot MAKE you. He cannot play FOR you. (I am throwing this
all to you underhand here dad…like in your good ole softball days….easy pitching here…..no curveballs I
swear! Ha! ) It’s like the playoffs….ALL of the other games during the season of course mattered (our good
works in life, service to our country, achievements, etc.) it got us TO the “big game” BUT the record along the
way is almost irrelevant at the end because now it’s a clean slate and the only thing that matters is whether
you will now be 1-0 or 0-1 for the championship match.
It MUST be a choice. It would NOT be true love if you were forced into it. Jesus will “knock” at the door of your
heart, BUT he will NOT open the door…..YOU have to push it open. I have the BEST memories of you and I
playing softball in our front yard in Hobart. You were the best example to me to show me how to be disciplined,
how to work hard, give it my best, focus & “take no prisoners.” You took me to camp to teach me new skills, to
open up and learn a technique to windmill pitch….you paid for me to go to volleyball camp at IU in the summer
to teach me skills to be a better player. You INVESTED in me. All of those things made me who I am today.
Those things were great “tools” but God designed me in a specific way & chose to bless me (giving me MY
OWN unique gifts and talents) to excel in certain areas in my life. He blessed me with the best loving,
supportive parents who exposed me to SO many wonderful life experiences. It wasn’t all just MY hard “work” &
efforts…..or yours/moms for that matter. HE deserves ALL of the glory…because HE is in control. As the one
who created it all, He gives each & everyone one of us SPECIFIC CIRCUMSTANCES in our lives (both good
AND bad) to MOLD us, to form us & to give us purpose. And that purpose is ALL to lead us BACK to Him.
But here is the deal. You might THINK you are “worthy” to stand before God. But that is thinking with a “world
view” and not a “biblical view.” Our own pride fools us into thinking, hey….i’ve done pretty good…I’ve been a
good person, done good things, etc. but the Bible CLEARLY states that NONE of us can reach God (not even
the “best of the best”) if we don’t go THROUGH Jesus…because He is the ONLY one who is perfect. Just
“believing” in God (or a “higher power” as you like to call it) isn’t enough……for goodness sakes, EVEN the
devil “BELIEVES” in God (& trembles at the sound of His name) BUT the devil isn’t going to heaven. Jesus is
the “key” to the path to our Creator….. JOHN 14:6 and Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and
the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
Your “value” is not based upon your “usefulness” or what you’ve done. You simply JUST MATTER to God.
Each of our value lies with our Creator. We were created BY HIM and that ALONE gives us our “worth.”
(IE: a $20 bill only has its value bc the US government says so…why?...because they MADE it. A counterfeit
$20 bill would have no value. Even a torn, ripped & dirty $20 bill STILL holds its worth)….same as us. Since we
were made by God….even with all of our faults or even with all of our good parts…..we have value simply
because of who we are & being made by our Maker.
Back to relationships. You & mom have had 50 years. During those years was it ALL just total bliss? NO! Do
you both have faults & bad habits that drive the other crazy…yes! Did you both at times say hurtful things &
want to secretly pop the other one in the nose?  Of course! BUT you have a RELATIONSHIP together. You
FORGIVE one another along the way. You love each other. So, you move on. Basically, it doesn’t MATTER all
of those little things that were once said/done……it gets erased. A “do over” ….that’s what God does by
sending Jesus…for all of those things we did in our life (or didn’t do). It’s all about the heart & the
RELATIONSHIP as a whole. The good AND the bad parts…ALL of it.
In God's eyes we are ALL equal. He LOVES us all so it doesn't matter how "good" you are.....you can be a
murderer, drug addict, homeless or a dr. from the midwest who has been a decent human being. All HE wants
is to love you & for YOU to Love him. JUST LIKE a parent - child relationship. If I did something horribly
wrong, like become a drug addict....you wouldn't LOVE me any LESS would you? You would just want me to
come HOME & be with you. Ok….so compare YOUR life to, say, a man on death row. God created you BOTH.
He loves you the same. Just because you “paid your dues” honorably compared to someone paying their
“dues” in jail for sins they committed……well…….their FATHER loves them the SAME. He created you both.
You are not “better” just because you made “better” decisions in life. He would want BOTH you AND the
“jailbird” to come home TO Him because He loves you BOTH the same.
Say, IF we had NO RELATIONSHIP at all...you were not my dad & I was not your daughter. Nothing we
have DONE in life would really even matter because we wouldn’t even KNOW each other. I could one day
show up at your doorstep, a stranger (with all of my accomplishments)…..and say “hi dad….i hope you are
proud of me”….and you would be like….um…….”You are NOT my child…I don’t even KNOW you”….sounds
kina crazy, right? I’m just trying to get you to see it how God would. Don’t get me wrong….He would still LOVE
you but as His child & have been given the Gospel of Good News and you CHOOSE to reject Him in your life,
not need Him as a Father, nor, more importantly as a Savior….well then he cannot “recognize” you as a child
of God. GALATIONS 3:26 So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus.
Here’s the thing….you SHOULD be “content” with your life. You have led a great one. You have served your
country. You have paid some “dues” as you like to say. But those “dues” aren’t ANTHING compared to the
“dues” Jesus paid for OUR lives. He GAVE the ultimate sacrifice. There is nothing we can DO to EARN our
way into heaven. Our “works” will not save us. We are saved through Christ ONLY. He must cleanse our sins
to make us “acceptable” to even stand BEFORE God…..because WE are not “worthy” on our own. So anything
we have done be it good or bad……isn’t what will get you before God.
Ephesians 2:8-9 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves;
it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.
Romans 3:12 “There is none who does good, No, not one. All have sinned and fall short of the glory of
God. No amount of good works will get anyone past the pearly gates.”
You have raised 2 intelligent daughters along with a lovely, smart wife. Not to mention 2 son in laws that aren’t
too shabby either. And we all have one thing in common. We ALL know Christ. For being a science/
data/Dr./fact collecting/analyzing type…..don’t you thing that is pretty miraculous? WHY do you think that is? I
think God KNEW it would take ALL of US to reach you! Do you just think we ALL just happen to be “crazy”
somehow? OR let’s see….maybe….God DESIGNED it THAT way SPECIFICALLY because HE KNEW what it
would take to turn your heart & look at things with a NEW perspective!
I will leave you with a simple prayer Dad. Please read it. Think on it. REALLY think on it.
"Dear God, I know I am not where I want to be. I recognize I have not lived my life for you. I want your
forgiveness. I acknowledge that Your Son, Jesus died on the cross to pay the price for my sins. Please
come into my life now to be my Lord and Savior. Take up residence in my heart. My days are in Your
hands. I ask this in your name Jesus. Amen"
I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH DAD......SHELL….aka…your “lil redhead”
Christmastime
“The Messiah”
This letter needs a bit of an explanation introduction. It wasn’t like the other more “personal letters”
that I had written previously nor the ones to come. This was merely an inspiration due to the holidays.
I thought I would take this special time to “reminisce” a bit on a song that always seem to “move” my
dad….a “God” song, more importantly. Growing up going to a Methodist church this song was often
played during Christmastime or Easter. It always moved me over the years each time I heard it, but
for my dad…..it was one that really seemed to touch him. He just loved all of the movements in it,
how it propelled your internal spirit & especially the low bass notes it contained. He always loved
those low notes. I recall one time hearing it at the Methodist church in Bloomington and the acoustics
were nothing short of miraculous.
This song came to my mind just before the holidays hit and I knew it was something I wanted to look
into. I know my dad loves history and “research” so that’s what I did. I looked up who wrote the song
and the whole artistry behind the music. I learned a ton myself about all of the different movements to
the song and the multiple parts it contained. The most infamous being the chorus “Messiah” everyone
is mostly familiar with. I spent countless hours searching for the most perfect YOUTUBE videos
expressing the song to watch with my parents when they came for Christmas. I just had to find the
“right moment” to spring it on them…..it’s all about the timing you know. I would mainly do my
“research” late at night when I couldn’t fall asleep because I was thinking about my dad. This song
would comfort me every time….even after listening to probably hundreds of versions of it. I finally
consolidated my viewing list down to 3 choices. One was one that just played the song with beautiful
pictures of churches in the background (in which I thought my dad would enjoy the scenery). The
second version I chose was a humorous one called the “Silent Monks” which performed the song
using just flashcards….absolutely brilliant by the way….check it out sometime for a good belly laugh.
The final selection was the song playing across the screen with the words but the words were color
coded to match who was singing that part specifically (example: tenor, bass, soprano, etc.)….also,
very moving as well as illuminating at the same time. We ended up watching all 3 of them and he
seemed to enjoy them all….tapping away on the chair and raising his fingers in the air like he was
conducting parts of the song.
The most special part of it all was WHEN the moment came to play it. That was the hard part, but
looking back it was when it was supposed to happen. We had family visiting from Chicago in town
and we were all in our kitchen enjoying some of my dad’s favorite: Jacks Donuts. Right in the middle
of eating my husband, Kevin got the text message results of my dad’s brain biopsy. Lymphoma. We
ALL cheered & celebrated because we KNEW the “worst case scenario” was glioblastoma (and we
would have no fighting chance whatsoever). So, in a warped sad way….we were celebrating the best
case scenario of cancer! HALLELUJUA!!!! Crazy.
Hence the perfect timing to bring on the song. So, after our family left from their visit and it was just
my mom, dad Kevin & myself…..I broke out the “history letter” and we watched the youtube videos.
What a glorious memory. It wasn’t a “happy” time BUT it was a small glimmer of HOPE and we
relished in it. We thanked God for it. And we celebrated with music as best we could. Selfishly, it was
ALSO another avenue to sneak talking about God with my dad in some form. He was private. It’s not
something he was open about or liked to discuss. But I did my best to reach his heart that day by
stirring up his soul with a beautiful melody praising our Father, our Lord, our King of Kings. It sure
meant something to me and I will never forget it.
Without question, one of the most famous pieces of music ever written or performed is Handel’s
Messiah .
Though Handel intended Messiah to be a thought-provoking work performed
during Easter and Lent, it was favored and performed mostly at Christmastime. But despite its
popularity, there are many people who have never heard this three-act baroque masterpiece - or at
least any part other than the famous "Hallelujah" Chorus.
Handel was a German born in 1685 into an affluent household. His father, a celebrated surgeon,
wanted his son to study law. But an acquaintance, a Duke in fact, heard the prodigy (then barely 11
years of age) playing the organ. The nobleman’s recognition of the boys genius likely influenced the
doctor’s decision to allow his son to become a musician. By 18, Handel had composed his first
opera. During the next 5 years he was employed as a musician, composer & conductor at courts &
churches in Rome, Florence, Naples & Venice as well as in Germany.
In April of 1737, at 52, Handel seemed to have suffered from a stroke which incapacitated him,
making it impossible for him to conduct or perform (he played the spinet: which was a small
piano/organ/harpsicord), because it had paralyzed his right arm and he was right handed. He also
complained of blurred vision. The truth was as well, that falling in and out of favor with royalty left him
alternately in and out of money, and because he was not a wise businessman he in fact lost a fortune
in the opera business and, depressed and in debt, gave it up in 1740.
It was only shortly after ALL of these calamities that Handel came across a libretto (which is the TEXT
of an opera) composed by Charles Jennens, a preacher. Constructed entirely of Scripture, Handel
was deeply affected when he read this piece of work. It was divided into three parts:
1) the prophecy about the coming Messiah & the virgin birth
2) the birth, life, ministry, death, resurrection & ascension of Christ…(summarized in the
definitive statement of God’s glory in the “Hallelujah” chorus)
3) the End times with Christ’s final victory over sin & death (largely based in the book of
Revelation) & the prediction of the day of judgment.
Inspired, Handel decided he must compose. The story of the composition of this most famous of all
Christian musical works has been told variously. What we can say with certainty is that he composed
the work in a short period of time during the summer of 1741, and when he got to the “Hallelujah
chorus,” his assistant found him in tears saying “I did think I saw heaven open, and
saw the very face of God”.
Handel composed the Messiah as an oratorio, which means "oratory by music." Oratorios were
originally designed to educate people in significant portions of the Bible. They date back to the time
when Bibles were so expensive that few could afford them, and of the few who could, fewer still were
sufficiently educated to be able to read them. To overcome the barriers of ignorance, or unavailability
of the Scriptures, the great texts of the Bible were put to music, and men were taught to learn and
sing them. Some of this sacred music of the past is now incorporated in the hymns familiar to people
all over the world; particularly the Psalms of David.
Handel's oratorio presents oratory in music capable of thrilling audiences with some of the greatest
and most beautiful truths of God's word. This seems to have been partly the intention of the
composer. At the conclusion of the first innovation at Dublin a friend approached Handel. "I must
congratulate you upon such a beautiful piece of entertainment," he
said to the composer. "Entertainment!" exclaimed Handel, "That was
not written for entertainment, it was written for education." It is said, that on
no occasion did Handel conduct this oratorio for money, but invariably for charity. However, if
education was, indeed, his primary concern, it has hardly been an unqualified success, for few have
appreciated the power of the words sung or heard.
The work first premiered during the Easter season in April 1742, and interestingly enough John
Wesley (who is credited with the foundation of the evangelical movement known as Methodism) was
one of the ones who saw an early performance of this work. INTERESTING SIDENOTE: Methodism is
characterized by its emphasis on helping the poor and the average person, its very systematic
approach to building the person, and the "church" and its missionary spirit. Methodists are convinced
that building loving relationships with others through social service is a means of working towards the
inclusiveness of God's love. These ideals are put into practice by the establishment of hospitals,
universities, orphanages, soup kitchens, and schools to follow Jesus's command to spread the Good
News and serve all people. The Methodist movement is also known for its rich musical tradition;
Charles Wesley was instrumental in writing much of the hymnody of the Methodist Church, and many
other eminent hymn writers come from the Methodist tradition.
His brother Charles actually got to know Handel a bit before Handel died, and visited him on occasion
in his London home. Charles of course composed two well known Christmas hymns: “Lo he Comes
with Clouds Descending,” and the more familiar “Hark the Herald Angels Sing.”
While it would certainly be too much to call it an overnight sensation, it is clear that this work quickly
became very popular and was soon to be seen as a classic. What is interesting is that Handel kept
tinkering with it and changing it. As one source says “Handel conducted Messiah many times and
often altered the music to suit the needs of the singers and orchestra he had available to him for each
performance. In consequence, no single version can be regarded as the “authentic” one.
Fortunately for Handel, King George decided that this work was worthy of being attended and
supported, and this in turn led to one of the most interesting traditions connected to this masterpiece.
When the Hallelujah chorus began to play in the performance the King attended he abruptly stood up,
apparently as a way of indicating he recognized that Christ was the King of
Kings. Now it was normal protocol that if the King stood at any time, no one in his presence sat,
and so the entire audience stood for the performance of the Hallelujah Chorus. This tradition has
been maintained even until today.
Handel could never have anticipated that this work would become perhaps the most performed piece
of classical music in all of history, all to the glory of Christ. And he certainly could not have
anticipated the many and various versions of the performance of
Messiah .
MESSIAH
Part I
Scene 1: Isaiah's prophecy of salvation
Comfort ye my people * Every valley shall be exalted * And the glory of the Lord
Scene 2: The coming judgment
The glory of the Lord shall be revealed * and all flesh shall see it together * for the Lord hath spoken it.
Scene 3: The prophecy of Christ's birth
Behold, a virgin shall conceive * Darkness shall cover the earth * But the Lord & His glory shall rise * And the
Gentiles shall come to thy light * Unto us a child is born * Emmanuel, God with us, everlasting Father
Scene 4: The annunciation to the shepherds
There were shepherds abiding in the fields * The angel of the Lord came upon them, the glory of the Lord
shone around them * Fear not I bring you tidings of great joy* Glory to God in the highest * Peace on earth
Scene 5: Christ's healing and redemption
Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion * Then shall the eyes of the blind be opened, the ears of the deaf
unstopped & the lame man leap * He is the righteous Savior * He shall feed his flock like a shepherd * His yoke
is easy and His burden is light * Come unto Him and He shall give your souls rest
Part II
Scene 1: Christ's Passion
Behold the Lamb of God * He was despised and rejected of men * He was wounded for our transgressions,
bruised for our iniquities * All we like sheep have gone astray and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all
Scene 2: Christ's Death and Resurrection
He was cut off for the transgression of Thy people * But Thou didst not leave His soul in hell
Scene 3: Christ's Ascension
Lift up your heads, O ye gates and the King of Glory shall come in * the Lord of Hosts, strong & mighty in battle
Scene 4: Christ's reception in Heaven
Unto which of the angels said, Thou art my Son * Let all the angels of God worship Him
Scene 5: The beginnings of Gospel preaching
Thou art gone up on high * The Lord gave the word * How beautiful are the feet that bring glad tidings of
salvation * Their sound is gone out into all lands and the Word unto the ends of the world
Scene 6: The world's rejection of the Gospel
Why do the nations so furiously rage together * Let us break their bonds asunder * He that dwelleth in heaven,
our Sovereign Lord is in control & shall scorn the wicked below with their fruitless attempts
Scene 7: God's ultimate victory
Hallelujah for the Lord God Omnipotent reigneth * The Kingdom of this world is become the Kingdom of our
Lord, and of His Christ: and He shall reign for ever and ever * King of kings, Lord of lords.
Part III
Scene 1: The promise of eternal life
I know that my Redeemer liveth * Since by man came death by man came also the resurrection of the dead *
For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive.
Scene 2: The Day of Judgment
Behold a mystery * We shall not all sleep; but we shall all be changed, in a moment at the last trumpet sound
Scene 3: The final conquest of sin
Then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, “Death is swallowed up in victory” * O death, where is
thy sting? The sting of death is sin * But thanks be to God, who giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus
Christ.* If God be for us, then who can be against us?
Scene 4: The acclamation of the Messiah
Worthy is the Lamb that was slain * He hath redeemed us to God by His blood, to receive power, and riches,
and wisdom, and strength, and honor, and glory * Blessing and honor, glory and power to be unto Him that
sitteth upon the throne and unto the Lamb, for ever and ever * Amen
Puzzles
Dear daddy-O,
Some of my most treasured moments were spending time with you doing puzzles at the dining
room table. Specifically…in the summer months when we had the sliding glass door open to a
little breeze (IF there was one). I loved the “feel” of that room…..and of course, I would as a
chef, being that was the room with so many fond memories of holiday dinners. I remember
the fish tank in the corner, the beautiful paintings of animals (you now have downstairs in
Btown), the beautiful hard wood floor & some of mom’s plants getting sun by the big window.
I remember the Spanish style arch entering the room, and the red sleek leather chairs with
high backs and the way the table felt with the jagged Spanish edge it had all the way around it.
The BEST memory I have is that EVERY single time we did a puzzle together you would always
let me put in the last few pieces BUT you ALWAYS kept the very last one hidden. Sometimes it
would be in your hand & I would have to guess which one, sometimes under the table, behind
your ear, stuck in your glasses or wedged under your IU ring. Got me every single time. 
And the most special part about doing the puzzles with you was just that….spending time
WITH you. MOST of the time we didn’t even talk…we just sat quietly, enjoying figuring out the
broken up picture in front of us. Searching, looking for colors, looking for weird shaped pieces,
outer edge border pieces. And the thrill of putting the last ones in to complete the final
masterpiece. Well, that is how God works. He, for the most part….sits quietly right next to us
throughout our entire lives. He gives us beautiful colors to see, some difficulty along the way
to challenge us until finally we become HIS masterpiece.
Ephesians 2:10 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so
we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.
Part of why I love puzzles is the quiet time….very restful. It helps to shut down after a hard
days’ work. And, although you have to “work” at the puzzle, search & “piece” together a
bunch of bits to make the picture whole…it’s gratifying. It’s peaceful. It’s a sense of
accomplishment. That is what you get when you truly find God’s grace. You find rest, you find
peace…..BUT you DO have to “work” for it…..you HAVE to search, open your heart, call upon
Him, accept His free gift & admit you need His grace & mercy. And I tell you what….THAT is the
best accomplishment of all.
John 14:27 Jesus said: “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the
peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.
I also remember all of the puzzles we had in the basement. Mainly kept by the bar area that
were great “conversation pieces” when friends came over. They were mainly made out of
random metal pieces. One of them was a heart hanging onto another metal contraption and
the point was to separate the heart away from its “entanglement.” I also recall a pair of metal
handcuffs and you had to get the metal circle “freed” from the imprisonment of the shackles.
I just HAVE to explain the irony here. Puzzles YOU bought for “meaningless fun” are now the
objects I am using to get YOU to see they aren’t so “meaningless” after all. Now take the heart
puzzle…..we, humans, must ALSO “free” our hearts that have been hardened from our
experiences. Fill in the blank here……alcoholic dad, Viet Nam, being a Dr. & seeing death daily
for no reason, etc. We must also free ourselves from our own pride (thinking life is ALL up to
us and nobody else) with no “higher being” that truly has control, putting certain
circumstances & people in our lives to guide us into His direction so that HE can be with us
when our lives are done this side of heaven. Now for the handcuff puzzle….let’s just say that
the circle represents God. He is directly in the center of the handcuffs, which represent our sin.
NOW…as you recall from my previously letter, we are ALL sinners. SIN doesn’t have to JUST be
murder, or adultery, etc. SIN is ANYTHING that takes our focus off of God (sin literally
translates to mean, “missing the mark”).
Romans 3:23 For all have sinned & fall short of the glory of God
So until we can “untangle” (come to the realization) the “circle” (aka God) from our own
“shackles” (self & sin) and put Him on the pedestal of our lives……we will not truly be free.
Free to spend forever with Him by acknowledging we NEED Him as our savior & that we were
never meant to be chained to just this life this side of heaven. This life is only the “practice
run” for the REST of eternity.
Psalm 116:16 O LORD, I am your servant; yes, I am your servant, born into your household;
you have freed me from my chains.
Once your mind figures out those puzzles…its liberating, isn’t it? At first, it’s a bit frustrating
because our initial “way of thinking” cannot disconnect the entrapped pieces. But, then, you
have that “AHA” moment where you just SEE how to do it & you “get it.” We stop thinking in
ONE DIRECTION & we try a NEW PERSPECTIVE & it works! WOOHOO! There is also a sense of
relief that goes along with it. That is what it feels like to see & to know God…RELIEF.
Romans 12:2 Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you
into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will
for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
WHY PUZZLES? What is SOOOOOO intriguing about them???? Why did YOU always ENJOY
them? Well, because God designed you, specifically Robert Reed Wylie that way. Same as I
figure why you like medicine. Its “practicing” medicine because it is a constant moving target
that needs to be researched, kept updated & figured out. Oh, there is a lot of CONSTANTS &
truths which are helpful to lean on, but there is also mystery. THAT is also how God works.
There are CONSTANTS we can “rely” on (He loves us unconditionally, He sent His son for us &
the many other truths & promises in the Bible) BUT God also works in ways we will NEVER
understand because only He can “see” the big picture. There is always an “upper story” that
we cannot fully understand SO, we must rely upon Him, have faith & BELIEVE that our FATHER
will give that “last piece” for the completion of His masterpiece.
All of the law cases you review are also a puzzle for you. You work tirelessly on them,
collecting the data & facts you need to back up what you “believe” will SOLVE the problem in
question. You must pull upon knowledge, research & experiences to make sense of the
current situation at hand. You talk to others in the field, look up articles, use your computer to
search for data that will back your view up because you KNOW it’s right, you know it’s worth
protecting & would even take the “stand” for. You don’t give up….you continue on…..giving
ALL you’ve got so that truth can win. THAT is EXACTLY what I am doing. Thanks to YOU I am
YOUR daughter.  I will keep writing in different ways, I will try new angles, quote scripture,
speak from my heart & do ANYTHING I can so that you understand that THIS is the most
important “case” of all. I will take ANY “stand” to speak the truth to you so you will hear it.
And this is it. There IS a God. Jesus DOES exist. There is more than just saying that there is a
“higher power”……it is not weakness, it is not crazy talk, it is the most important PUZZLE PIECE
of your life. Period.
You simply cannot figure out WHY you lived your life & the true plan for it UNTIL you recognize
Jesus 1st. you must KNOW Him….not simply know “ABOUT” Him. He is the gatekeeper.
John 14:6 Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the
Father except through me.
Our pastor once stated….”If you don’t know where you are going, then you are likely to end up
somewhere else.” I KNOW you, Dad. You want & need to find an answer. That is how you are
“wired.” So don’t give up thinking that “you have lived a good life” & hope for the best. Take a
chance, change your perspective & look at things differently than you EVER have before. What
do you have to lose? Nothing. Everything. Take action & work toward figuring out this puzzle.
Until you can admit you are lost…you cannot be found.
Proverbs 16:9 We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.
So, I have a puzzle for you now, dad-y-O.  Put your hand right in front of your face with all of
your fingers spread out. That represents a “problem” or obstacle that is, literally, directly in
front of you. Now, you obviously cannot look ahead like you normally do to SEE. So, you must
find another way…..you must change your direction. To get a clear view you must look around
your hand, under or up & over…..it’s a choice. IF you need to see, you find a way.
God is omnipresent. HE is EVERYWHERE & in EVERYTHING. So if someone says they can’t find
Him, or hear Him or know Him……then WHO really is LOST? God sure isn’t. YOU gotta take the
first step. It requires ACTION. The puzzle ain’t gonna do itself Roberto.  You must DO. God
already DID His part (and it was a pretty BIG part I must say.)
Proverbs 8:17 “I love all who love me. Those who search will surely find me.
WHY do you think you were born in Indiana & not, say Europe?
WHY do you think you were given the parents or the brothers & sister you had?
WHY do you think you became a Dr. instead of a dentist…or anything else for that matter?
WHY do you think you got sent to Viet Nam & endured all you did BUT made it home?
WHY do you think you lived a wonderful life with a loving wife & 2 lovely children ?
WHY do you think you had stents in your heart & triple bypass surgery?
And finally, WHY do you think you got brain cancer?
Do you think all your life has been random? Do you think this life is all there is? Do you not
think there IS a purpose & plan for your life? I believe God “designs” our lives like a puzzle
that we must put together slowly piece by piece until we realize it makes sense….and what
makes sense is that God is in control of everything & has been all along. The lives we are given
are a GIFT from Him, they are designed by Him every single detail so that we might see His
glory & come closer to Him. Be it through the hardships and be it through the blessings, either
way He will use WHATEVER it takes in the course of our lifetime to GET OUR ATTENTION on
Him. God allows both good & bad in our lives to help build our character & develop our faith.
THAT is what matters the most. God will use things in your life to direct, inspect, correct,
protect & ultimately PERFECT you into His masterpiece.
Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,
who have been called according to his purpose.
Romans 5:3-4 We can rejoice when we run into problems they help us learn to be patient.
And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we
use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady.
ANYONE on this earth can “complain” about the “cards” they were dealt. YOU above ANYONE
have taught me that. It’s a CHOICE what & how you live your life. You can complain, become
an alcoholic, turn to drugs, etc. (fill in the blank) OR you can work hard, do the best you can &
do good. THANK GOODNESS we are GIVEN the “choice” right? We COULD just live in our own
misery with no hope. “Oh, woe is me…..these are the circumstances life dealt me…boo hoo.”
NO!!!!!! You of ALL people taught me when something “bad” happened in my life….you would
do a quick “check up” & say:
1.
2.
3.
4.
Are you bleeding form ANY orifice of your body?
Can you move your arms & legs?
Can you SEE & hear?
Can you breathe, talk, move your tongue out and say “ahhhhh”?
Well then……it’s not so bad now, is it? YOU put things in perspective, always. Well here is MY
perspective for you. If God didn’t GIVE us freedom to CHOOSE then we would just be puppets
on a string. It wouldn’t be true love IF we were FORCED to love Him. It would be like an
arranged marriage….til “death do you part” to a STRANGER. NO THANK YOU. God lets us live
our lives the WAY we want….HOWEVER, we are surrounded by Him all along the way…He is
always there saying “choose me” “pick me” “see me” because I ALREADY love you.
Here's the point: God is at work in your life - even when you do not recognize it or choose to
understand it. That’s the answer to the puzzle. He is there…quietly, sitting right next to you
(even in the dining room on a summer night) showing you the puzzle “pieces” along the way.
Revealing a complete masterpiece (your life) bit by bit….BUT you gotta PUT the pieces
together & figure it out. Thank goodness we have the choice to sit with Him & spend time with
Him just as I did with you years ago, Dad. BUT you cannot complete it alone, He is holding that
last puzzle piece right in the palm of His hand & it is Jesus…..you must open your EYES of your
heart to SEE that. He is holding that last piece…you just gotta FIND it! Look AROUND any
obstacle your mind has put in your view, change your way of thinking & figure this puzzle out
Dad…I have faith in you! I KNOW you can DO it…….
Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
I LOVE you.  R-SHell
AT WAR
Dad,
“AT WAR” Yep…that’s what you are in right now. Battling with your body, conflicts in your
mind with the way medicine (the world) operates right now & struggles with accepting help
from those who love you. It’s hard, it sucks, it’s not pretty…its war. And it’s not like you are
unfamiliar to it. Supporting your parents, going to Viet Nam, having a career as a doctor &
personal surgeries you have been through have all collectively count as “battles” & some
shape of “war” you have had to endure over your lifetime.
Through the ROTC, army & medical school you had to follow orders & protocol. It helped you
to survive. It helped you to succeed. The definition to “take orders” is: to receive & be
expected to follow directions or commands. It is to obey & be obedient to. That is something
this world has lost track of in recent years. We live in a time where obedience is extremely
lacking, therefore, everything is tolerated. To be respectful, to listen, to take instruction &
have to follow through even when you don’t necessarily want to…BUT, because it is the right
thing to do...is, well almost unheard of these days. You have “been there & done that” so to
say in your lifetime, and now, unfortunately, it is time to do it once again. You don’t get a free
pass on this one daddy-o…its Doctor’s orders!!! 
All of our founding fathers believed in a commonality from whom they would “take orders”
from….not the King of England of course, but from God. From George Washington &
Benjamin Franklin to Thomas Jefferson, John Adams & James Madison….they ALL were
obedient to Him. They upheld & based everything upon the principles of Christianity &
stated fiercely their positions on religion, following Christ’s example & stood strong for what
they believed in to make a great nation. They all had a spirit of subordination & obedience
to their Creator, which made them great men. They recognized that God GAVE us both life
AND liberty.
It is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will,
to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor.”
- George Washington
We recognize no sovereign but God, and no King but Jesus.
- John Adams and John Hancock
It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this great Nation was founded not by
religionists, but by Christians; not on religions, but on the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
- Patrick Henry
…that all may bow to the scepter of our Lord Jesus Christ and that the whole Earth may be
filled with his glory.
- John Hancock
Back to following orders. You have a lot of them currently don’t you? Eat your protein, drink
your fluids, brush your teeth, take your medicines…..blah, blah, blah. But here is the most
important thing to obey in your long list of “orders”….and it is NOT a physical hygiene one.
Matthew 22:36-40
“Teacher, which is the most important commandment?”
Jesus replied, “‘You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all
your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love
your neighbor as yourself.’
1 John 2:3-6
And we can be sure that we know him if we obey his commandments. If someone claims, “I
know God,” but doesn’t obey God’s commandments, that person is a liar and is not living in
the truth. But those who obey God’s word truly show how completely they love him. That is
how we know we are living in him. Those who say they live in God should live their lives as
Jesus did.
I can only imagine what it was like for you helping to support your parents, I can only imagine
what you had to endure in Nam & I can only imagine the daily hardships your job as a
physician threw your way. But one thing I DO know is that God had His hand on YOU every
step of the way. You mattered, you made a difference, you healed people AND you came
home. He wasn’t finished with you yet. He had a life planned for you & a purpose to fulfill. But
to know God, to believe in Him & to accept Him…we must obey Him. We must respect our
Creator & love Him with everything we have…we are commanded to do so.
We ALL must fight battles in some way, shape or form. Be it with our jobs, our spouses, coworkers, family members or even our own bodies. We do not live in a perfect world…..it
originally was designed that way but we (human nature) changed all of that long long ago. Sin
caused imperfection & now we must live in a fallen, broken world. You are strong, you have
accomplished much, you have been through a lot, but, you cannot always “soldier on” &
continue with the strength you once had. The battles have gotten harder & more
frustrating….and your ability to “do it alone” well, doesn’t quite exist anymore. And you know
what? Its ok. It really is. You weren’t meant to do it alone anyway. And your source of strength
has been there all along, He has been by your side & guiding your steps...even now.
2 Corinthians 12:9-11
“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast
about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take
pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I
suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Contrary to what you may think, Jesus is NOT weak. And submitting yourself TO Him does NOT
show weakness. It actually shows strength. By admitting & proclaiming (even if not out
loud…just in your heart) that you NEED a savior & that you recognize Jesus IS that, well, THAT
is the bravest thing you can do. To give up “oneself” & to admit we are not in control & that
we are in HIS hands shows both character & honor. Jesus died a very brutal death FOR us.
Nothing is more honorable than laying down ones’ life for their fellow man. He did it for ALL of
us, not just one man. THAT is a true soldier. There isn’t enough purple hearts to cover that
move. He had to endure unimaginable pain & incomprehensible suffering all because,
basically, we fall short. We DON’T EVEN DESRVE that kind of sacrifice, but we got it anyway.
It’s like you and many others who have gone to fight for our country & our freedom…..the
benefits get reaped by EVERYONE….even those who don’t “seem” worthy (murderers,
molesters, etc.) but they get it just the same. Soldiers don’t get to pick and choose exactly
WHO they are protecting…..they cover everyone. So did Jesus’ blood.
Jesus has lots of names….but a lot of focus goes toward viewing the comforting, healing, loving
& sacrificing side of Him. All of the “tender” names such as shepherd, prince of peace,
counselor, Lamb & so forth…I can see how you might “think” of Him as a fictional fairy of some
sort. He IS all of those things but so much more than that. We should have a fear, yes fear of
Him as well.
Proverbs 1:7
Fear of the LORD is the foundation of true knowledge, but fools despise wisdom & discipline.
We should have reverence toward Him. We should bow down & surrender to Him. He is the
beginning & the end, the Alpha & Omega & the ONE and only:
Mighty King
Lord of Lords
Almighty One
Righteous Warrior
Great Redeemer
Wonderful Master
Chief Cornerstone
Powerful Prince
Rock
Divine Defender
The Great I AM
Shield and Strength
Our Captain
Most High God
Ruler
Great Majesty
None of these names sound weak do they????? ???????? Just like a true & honorable soldier,
Jesus gave up his privileges (home & family in heaven) to come to earth (like when our soldiers
go to a foreign country) & He died a horrible death for a cause (as so many have done
throughout history).
Philippians 2:6-11
Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead,
he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a
human being. He humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death.
Through His actions (like an admirable general) all should honor, respect & look up to Him.
There are not enough “salutes” one can give to Jesus for the courage, bravery & total
commitment He had for His battle to defeat death and His cause to give all of us life.
Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all
other names, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and
under the earth, and every tongue declare that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the
Father.
Revelation 19:11-16 “The Rider on the White Horse”
Then I saw heaven opened, and a white horse was standing there. Its rider was named
Faithful and True, for he judges fairly and wages a righteous war. His eyes were like flames
of fire, and on his head were many crowns. A name was written on him that no one
understood except himself. He wore a robe dipped in blood, and his title was the Word of
God. The armies of heaven, dressed in the finest of pure white linen, followed him on white
horses. From his mouth came a sharp sword to strike down the nations. He will rule them
with an iron rod. He will release the fierce wrath of God, the Almighty, like juice flowing
from a winepress. On his robe was written this title: King of all kings and Lord of all lords.
God will not give you anything that he won’t give you the strength & ability to carry it out---you just got to believe in Him. The battleground is in your mind. To THINK you don’t need
someone to submit to, to THINK you don’t have to do anything to get into heaven, to THINK its
weak to say you need a savior…….the exact opposite is true. Your brain is not only a mind-field
right now due to your cancer but it is also a block you’ve had for a very long time on the whole
“church/religion/Jesus” (fill in the blank here) stance. Jesus didn’t win the battle on the
cross….he actually won the battle in the Garden of Gethsemane when He went to go pray
BEFORE HE was executed. He prayed so hard he broke capillaries in his head & sweat drops of
blood because he KNEW what was coming. He KNEW what he would have to endure. He knew
the agony about to come and asked…"Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of
suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine."
He won the battle. He defeated the internal struggle he was dealing with & went forth to do
what needed to be done. He gave in & CHOSE to go to war for US. He gave in & CHOSE to
battle the unthinkable for our salvation. He gave in….but that doesn’t translate to him giving
UP. Let me repeat myself: GIVING IN DOES NOT MEAN GIVING UP. There is a difference.
Surrendering oneself is not like surrendering to the enemy. It’s giving IN to the most decorated
General that exists. It’s the bravest thing you could EVER do.
So as we have already seen you do for your first week of treatments…..you will face
frustration, struggles & battles with the WHOLE process. You will get pissed off at how much
things cost, or how long things take, or how many times you must take tests, etc. etc. etc. They
are not going to go away. If you can sleep on a wet, muddy jungle floor & bathe in a rice patty
river, well, then I think this crap is a piece of cake for you. You have your loved ones with you,
electricity, your comfty red fuzzy blanket, whatever food you want…..so surrender your
attitude before it even begins. Battling everything along the way will not help you win the war.
The wrong mindset will only make it much more miserable. You never let me complain too
much when I got injured in sports, got hurt in relationships, had trouble with school, etc.….you
taught me to suck it up & deal with it. Now do the same….DAD. 
Speaking of surrendering……giving it ALL UP to God would also help. Let Him do the heavy
lifting, talk to Him…let Him know your frustrations, let it OUT & let it GO. It’ll be the bravest
thing you will ever do. Believe in Him. He will meet you where you are. But you gotta reach out
to the greatest warrior & soldier who ever lived. Give a strong army “salute” to your savior……I
promise, He will give it right back to you (along with open arms to boot).
I mentioned earlier in this letter how you have been through other battles in your lifetime. You
have “carried” your parents & supported them financially, you “carried” & put yourself
through med-school, you “carried” & helped the sick/wounded/gave vaccinations/and so
much more when in Viet Nam, you “carried” & healed so many throughout the years via your
career as a physician, and finally, you “carried” & supported a family with a wife and 2
daughters giving us a wonderful home, food on the table, extra curricular activites, vacations,
education, entertainment trips, cars to drive, (I could go on forever here) leaving us NEVER
wanting…well now, whether you like it or not…….it is time for YOU to be “carried.”
The Wounded warrior project’s MISSION STATEMENT is:
To honor and empower wounded warriors
and its’ PURPOSE is:
To raise awareness and enlist the public's aid for the needs of injured service members.
To help injured service members aid and assist each other.
To provide programs and services to meet the needs of injured service members.
Well WE, your loved ones (and the many hospital staff) have been “enlisted” to help with your
needs. By doing this we are not only helping you but are “assisting” each other as well. So
many people (whom you don’t even know are praying for you. But most important of all….God
will “carry” you to get you back to where you need to be. But let’s be clear…..WE are only ALL
there for you because GOD put us in your path. HE’S got you. YOU are covered. Not only in the
most “basic” ways (food, drink, medications, fuzzy red blankets) BUT He REALLY has you
“covered” ….. with His love, His grace & His BLOOD. It’s true. It’s up to HIM whether you are
healed physically or not, but, it’s up to you to be a soldier, obey & follow orders spiritually.
TEN-Hut!!!!!!! FORAWRD MARCH!!!!
Love you “Captain Wylie” Shell
The Great Physician
So…Dad,
How many doctors have you seen in the past few months? Well…a lot, but let’s try to count
them. There is your GP doc, the neuro doc, the ophthalmologist, the port doc, the lumbar
puncture doc, the bone marrow doc, the optometrist, the heart doc in the hospital & then the
oncologist. Not to mention the weekend “on call” docs. Each of these doctors has different
backgrounds, different degrees & work in different environments. But ALL of the doctors have
one thing in common. They are the same as you in that they chose to treat people, care about
their well-being & make them better, physically speaking, as a career. They took a Hippocratic
Oath to do so. Taking verbatim from the “Oath” itself…
1.
2.
3.
4.
They swore to follow the system of regimen for the benefit of their patients.
They promised to abstain from whatever is harmful and mischievous.
They chose to live their life with purity & holiness.
And, as long as they continue to keep this Oath, they will be granted to enjoy life & practice the Art.
The single serpent on the staff is the most popular medical symbol in the world. So, WHY a
snake on a stick? Many claim it originated in Greek mythology, with multiple stories explaining
the symbolism. However, biblical influence on the Greek culture greatly predated this ancient
Greek “religion” so of course I am going to focus on THAT version. 
And then the Lord said to Moses, “Make a fiery serpent & set it on a pole, and it shall be that
everyone who is bitten, when he looks at it, shall LIVE.” So Moses made a bronze serpent,
put it on a pole; and so it was. Numbers 21:8-9.
The Bible records that the “Fall” and the curse of death occurred after mankind was tempted
by a serpent at a tree. Numbers 21:8-9. Then Jesus Christ “Himself” bore OUR sins in His own
body on the tree. 1 Peter 1:24. “having become a curse for us” Galatians 3:13. The symbolism
points to the actual historic crucifixion & explains that Christ redeemed us from the curse of
the law by becoming a curse FOR us. The Hebrew term for SIN and for SIN OFFERING in the
Bible are the same identical word…..THAT is the ultimate meaning of the serpent being lifted
up. For ALL who look at it, that is, Jesus who became a “sin” for us, could be saved. As Jesus
said, “And, if I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw everyone to Myself. “ John 12:32.
So, did you know that for your whole career as a doctor, your “symbol” was Christ? 
Hmm…..like I said dad, He has had His hand on you your WHOLE life. ESPECIALLY your career
of choice! Throughout the years listening to all of the people you have helped is such a huge
blessing. So many look up to you, are thankful to you and truly love you. You have done so
much more than just “heal” you truly cared about people (more than just their sickness) and it
showed. No one made you do it…..you CHOSE to.
Healing sickness & helping others is not just a bio/physiological thing. It is also emotional,
social AND spiritual. Caring for others; be it a simple touch, an act of kindness or giving
medicine can do so much more than just send healing power into a sick body. It can touch
every level of our existence as a human being…cutting through barriers, creating compassion
& healing both hearts AND souls too. You gave it your ALL to so many…….not just your “mad
medicine skills” but you gave yourself as a whole. That’s exactly what Christ did for us as well.
Jesus referred to himself as a "physician" or "doctor," once in the sense of "spiritual healer"
and once in the sense of "physical healer."
Jesus as “Spiritual” Healer: His opponents once attacked him for having unsavory characters
such as tax collectors and "sinners" among his disciples. Jesus reminded them that "It is not
the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but
sinners." Mark 2:17
Jesus’ role as "physician" is so pervasive in his biographies & so essential to His mission that He
cannot be understood apart from it. The crowds seemed instinctively to see Jesus as a
"doctor." It’s a title He clearly deserves. One has only to skim through the Jesus’ life to note
the remarkable attention He gave to healing. His time on earth was consumed with
encounters with people who were sick, blind, lame, deaf, leprous, paralyzed or mentally ill.
Jesus encouraged the active involvement of the sick in their own healing--FAITH was a
necessary ingredient. FAITH entailed a strong trust in God’s healing power & the
determination to gain access to it. Over & over, Jesus praised those He healed for their FAITH.
On the flip side, a lack of FAITH limited Jesus' healing. Jesus never healed when asked to prove
Himself. He only healed when people expected OR asked to be healed.
Dad, there are many doctors who are treating you now. They take precautions, they follow
rules & they uphold the “Oath” they took to protect & to care for you. They went to school,
did the hard work & CHOSE to heal. But you must have some “faith” in them. You must believe
that they are there to fight for your health. However, only the “Great Physician” can heal you.
And I’m not just talking about the cancer. You also need some heart healing. You need some
FAITH. You need some “attitude meds” that only God can give. Just like the docs choosing to
work on you, the patient…..you must do the same with God. You need to do some work &
choose Him. You must have some “faith” IN Him. And you must BELIEVE that Jesus died FOR
you AND that he IS the “serpent sacrifice” on a pole ready to give you life. And He did that
because He cares for you & wants to “heal” your heart & most of all….He loves you.
AS DO I !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  The Shell
“Team Grace”
cartoon
This was just an impromptu “scribbling” that I did late one night after coming home from the hospital. The
scripture from Romans came to mind and I just went from there with whatever popped into my head. I had
joked a couple of times that we were “Team Bob/Dad” when we would run to go get dad stuff at the store (lip
balm, mouthwash, grapefruit cups, diet dr. pepper, etc.) or when bringing food to eat into the hospital for
him. This night I remember being exhausted and too tired to write anything too in depth so I doodled instead.
FROM THE HEART
(poems from previous )
This section includes 3 poems I had written for my dad in the past.
The first one I gave to him on Father’s Day years ago.
The second I wrote & gave to him when he was going into his triple bypass heart surgery.
The last one was for both of my parents for their 50th wedding anniversary celebration.
When I was a little girl I’d wish one thing…
to grow up and meet my prince or king.
This man would have to pass some pretty hard tests
to even come close to matching the best.
For the man he’d have to match has a special place in my heart,
so this fellow would have to be pretty special to share a part.
O where do I begin to describe all he’d have to do,
to replace the great man that I would bid adieu.
But let me try to express all of the wonderful things,
this prince would have to possess before I’d accept a ring.
For they are qualities that many would wish they’d had,
they are the special secrets to my heart that only one so far holds…
my Dad.
Warm snuggles, bear hugs and goodnight kisses I recall,
but I cherish the times we’d play catch and throw ball.
Family vacations to experience, relax and explore,
gaining not only memories but so much more.
I remember old movies, trips to I.U. and playing ping pong,
but nothing beats waking up to a kiss and your “good morning” song.
Ah those Sunday morning breakfasts when we’d all hear a peep,
… was it a pink elephant? or a quick mouse?
whatever it was we’d laugh till we’d weep.
A true sport fan you always were to me,
there must have been hundreds of my games you had to see.
But even after a long day at work you’d still come to watch me play,
“Take no prisoners” --- you would always say.
My favorite was doing late-night puzzles in the dining room,
working together side by side creating our own little tune.
Advice and articles on too much sun or personal safety you gave,
never hesitating to share the collection of coins you always saved.
A physician you worked so hard to become—a noble career,
helping so many people in so many ways year after year.
A perfect gentleman you’ve always been,
opening doors and pulling out chairs…a perfect “10”
For your love of sports, movies, politics, food and wine,
all of the things which are also passions of mine.
A doctor, role model, veteran, husband, brother, father, athlete and friend,
blessed with a wonderful home, a loving wife, 2 children and a dog…is there no end?
The list goes on and on of all that you are and have done,
you should be so very proud for all that you have become.
Strength, courage, knowledge, love, wisdom, and humor are just some of the
things that come to mind,
anyone with just half of these assets would be pretty hard to find.
For all of the plaques that hang on your wall,
that pretty much says it all.
I am so very lucky to have a father like you,
for all that you are, value, say and do.
The man who someday may steel my heart,
should be grateful because he resembles a part…
of you.
I love you, Dad.
The heart is a gift of both physical and non,
it beats with a rhythmic tune until it is time to pass on.
But one thing holds true…and this I want to share,
about the great “present” it holds that is extremely rare.
This organ is quite the vessel; carrying life’s liquid blood,
it also holds something more, the greatest gift of all….LOVE.
I cannot begin to tell you the importance of this word,
from emails, books, sermons or anything you’ve just heard.
This gift must be felt deep from within,
that can only begin by the forgiveness of sin.
You see, the heart was created by love,
from the One, and the Only, God from above.
It beats, it pumps and it is the center of all,
but does not REALLY work until you “fall.”
When you open your soul and truly see,
the heart will immediately realize it’s free.
What then comes next words cannot explain,
but I can tell you there is no hate, no worry and no pain.
For the heart, remember…carries a gift,
a spiritual beat that will give you a “lift.”
To the ONE, I AM, COUNSELOR and “DAD”
for those who do not open their hearts it is so sad.
Because He is the way, the truth and the life,
who gave His heart to us through his Son, Jesus Christ.
So on this day….I sincerely pray,
that your “new” heart will begin a “new” way.
To change your mind, views and practices…..it is never too late,
you have been given another chance to start a whole new slate.
Because the ONE “upstairs” cares for you,
giving you more days here on earth to do what you need to do.
It is for this reason I believe you were given more time,
to not try and do something about it would be a crime.
So again, I ask for your heart to be open and your mind free,
to actually listen to those who care about you….especially me.
Do not let this gift go to waste,
start today, begin right now, say a prayer and make haste.
I LOVE YOU DAD with all of MY heart,
I just want you to be a part……
of ETERNITY.
On a weekday night in the fall of 1963
a young couple met & a year later made a heart bounding decree
To love & honor one another til the end of their days
wonderful role models of 50 years so far….let us count some of the ways
A teacher & Medical school student from the very start
they learned that frugality had to play a big part
In which they never forgot throughout their lives
working hard, being good stewards & saving as husband & wife
Affection was another gift where they did not lack
never holding back kisses, hugs, hand holding or Dad’s quick “butt pats”
For which I am grateful for to this very day
an encouraging example to follow in every way
Another concept they got right was the balance of time
spending it equally between it all is hard to find
Children take up a great sum, both work & home chores too
but they also found time for friends, family & fun which is the glue
Communication is a huge component to this team
discussing each other’s day over family dinners I remember as a teen
Still to this day they have their “wine cocktail time” to touch base
about anything & everything they talk together face to face
Being supportive is another big deal with these two
the list is so long but I will try to name just a few…
From Viet Nam, raising kids, starting a practice & building a house
that’s almost enough right there for ANY man OR woman spouse!
Both Bob & Nancy’s endless community & charity clubs
to Mom & daughter shopping excursions & Dad’s countless footsie rubs
Watching all of their kid’s track meets, volleyball, softball & tennis games
for having to be the “on call” weekend/holiday doctor with no blame
Mom’s gardening projects, bridge groups & changing home decor
Dad’s softball games, fishing trips & art sculptures galore
These are just some of the many examples from these folk…
not to mention a Butler grad becoming an IU sports fan is no joke!
For all listed so far that has already has been revealed
there is just a few more important secrets to un-conceal
A “cup” each of caring, generous, giving, reliable, loving, respectful & strong
with a “dash” of trustworthy, faithfulness & honesty….this secret “recipe” can’t be wrong
Sticking with each other, never giving in & getting through MANY-O-DAILY grind
a couple married for 50 years (that STILL loves each other) is very hard to find
For ALL of these values they exemplified to everyone around
let’s raise our glass to the honorary two whose love abounds
The life you both have created together has played a huge part
it has led you on this journey of sharing each other’s heart….
One of the best illustrations of a relationship that is out there today
it makes me proud to be your daughter & I just want to say……
I love you.
DAD
DOCUMENTARY
DAD DOCUMENTARY
DECEMBER 5th, 2014
From: Danna Wylie December 6, 2014 Subject: Questions about Bob
DECEMBER 6TH, 2014
Richelle’s Response: in purple
Dear Richelle,
I know that you are worried about Bob as we are. Please thank Kevin for calling Tom Lovell so he
could let us know about Bob. (Bill and Tom picked up Bob after he had fallen on the garage floor last
Saturday) On Thursday I spoke very briefly with Nancy and she explained the following:
1) Bob has two tumors in his brain. (She didn't say where they were in his brain) one in the back of
the brain (size of an orange) and one toward the front of the brain (size of an egg)
2) A biopsy will be done on December 12th, after his body has eliminated the blood thinners he is
on. (With his heart condition I even think that a brain biopsy is dangerous.) Is this procedure being
done in Bloomington? no, in indianapolis so they will be with us
3) Nancy said that no matter the results of the biopsy, he would NOT have brain surgery, but rather
would be treated externally (I assume - chemo/radiation). That sounds smart to me.. correct
You and Kevin are trying to run the restaurants and keep tabs on your dad... so I know there is a lot
going on and I hate to bother Nancy, but please keep us posted. (for phone calls, the condo
phone (904) 686-1182 is probably the best way to reach us. will do
Much love, love you too
Danna
DECEMBER 13, 2014
DECEMBER 14, 2014
WATCHING THE IU GAME WITH FRIENDS
DEC 20TH, 2014
DECEMBER 31ST…WAITING FOR “PRE” SURGERIES (PORT, BONE MARROW, SPINAL TAP)
CHRISTMAS DAY 2014
JANUARY 5, 2015 “First Round” of chemo treatment
the “green machine” backpack carrying snacks, meals & vino for wine time!
our “GO TO” buddies…..right outside dads room
head bruise…blanky makes it better 
Dads meds with pics to help
doggies LOVE Gran Nan!!!
Round #2….outpatient chemo drug first this time!!!!
zonked “zzz”
Special delivery: HOBO DINNER!!!
making the “rounds”
Dad likes his face covered to block the daylight & of course, a blanky!
January 23, 2015…treatment #2
O2
hello!
wanted to send an update on my dad for those who have requested and/or might be interested
in....it just saves me time to do it this way rather than individually with you all (again....i am
"old school" non facebook girl here)
round #2 treatment ended today when my dad finally got out of the hospital (he was there since
wed this week). his first bag of chemo meds (1 of 2 that he needs to get in his system) got to be
outpatient this time around (and hopefully from this point on) so that started on tuesday and
took all day but got to go home at least around 5:00. then to the hospital for the 2nd chemo med
which is the one where they have to monitor the kidneys all the way through to make sure they
keep functioning to process the poison & then, get out of his system. unfortunately this med
messes with the brain (along with a steroid he is also taking) so this visit was a bit taxing due to
his poor attitude, frustration & depression coupled with a confrontation with a nurse (him
swinging his cane at her) & consequently pulling out his iv out of his port (which is inserted
into his chest) then not letting them put it back in...which resulted in calling us all in around
2:00 in the morning to try to convince him to follow orders and finish his treatment. we finally
got the job done with kevin's talking & both mom and me giving him a continual "foot rub" to
calm him down so the nurse could do the job. he is a bit more confused at this point and
memory is not retaining much but hopefully it is just a matter of getting through the storm
before it gets better :)
sadly, my mom got a horrific cold/flu during this week so that made matters a bit more
challenging as well. he is not to be around sickness during this time when his immune system is
compromised but what is one to do??? they have been here for a week now and both just
wanted to leave to be in the comforts of their own home for tonight & for the rest of this "off"
treatment week, (chemo is every other week)
thank you again for the continued prayers. much are needed and much are appreciated. please
include my mom in this round so she can get healthy quickly & stay as strong as possible
through all of this.
love you all dearly. take blessing in each and every day richelle (and kevin)
Feb 4th round 3 begins…..
PUZZLE COMLETE!!!
HOLLY HOCK HILL DINNER IN THE LOUNGE
IT ALL STARTED OFF SOOOOOO GOOD FOR ROUND #3……BUT THEN IT WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE…..
TH
FEB 6
Laurel told me about the methotrexate dilemma and waiting on the antidote. Sorry to hear about this. Hope that
It comes soon. Just want you to know that I think about you a lot. Our prayers are going out for you as well as our entire
congregation - you are on our church prayer list. Hang in there Bullet. CO
Doggone it. So sorry that there is a "bump in your road". I can only imagine how anxious you both are to get this
resolved so you can get to the next step. Prayers will never stop coming. Hugs to both of you. Take care of yourself, too,
Nancy. Love you both, "Bunser"(as Bob nicknamed me).
'm sorry to hear that things are not going as well as hoped. Please feel free to call me if you ever need to talk or have
questions that I can help with from a medical standpoint. SARAH TIEMAN
Oh,Nancy. ....what can we say. You & Bob are so much in our prayers. ...all the time. Wish I could wrap you in a big hug
right now. Don't worry about Jim....he'll be fine. All our efforts are going towards the two of you right now. ALLINGS
This must be very VERY FRUSTRATING! Keep the faith DICK MONROE
Oh my! We will pray that the antidote does the trick. Many hugs and lots of prayers from us!!!! LAUREL
BRISKET DINNER
Nancy I am so appreciative for all the updates. My mother was on dialysis for 51/2 years would not like to see Dr. Have to
do that. Saw an article about patients praying and the neurologist saw on scan after scan parts of the brain light up from
praying I have seen several things happen over the years that only God to do. He saved one of my granddaughters from a
car accident and only came out with a cut hand and broken nose. EMS was surprised she was alive. So He can do miracles.
Praying for one. I have been praying for you both and will continue to do so. Sorry I have not seen you or Dr. our families
take up most of our time except when we are Florida where we relax. Sending love to you both ELONA
FEB 7
TH
CALMING HAND RUBS BY THE NAN & SHELL
Saturday 7th, 2015
After a long day at the hospital. We all went home to call it a night. Around 11:30 Kevin got a call
from the nurses station stating that dad had somehow made it all the way down the hallway (his room
is the last one at the very end) to the nurses station…IV pole and all. He had dressed himself, and was
waving a blunt metal instrument around in a threatening way. They somehow got him back down to
his room. Kevin and I rushed over to try to calm him down…..both nurses were standing OUTSIDE his
room when we arrived. Dad was sitting up on the side of the bed and was just talking nonsense. We
took him to use the restroom before he got back into bed. He kept trying to tell me that the nurse
had stabbed him & wanted me to look at his back for blood. I rubbed my hand all over his back while
he was sitting on the potty and showed him there was no wound and/or blood. I then asked if he
wanted me to take a picture to try to make him feel better and then maybe he would believe me. He
still did not and swore they were out to get him & maybe it was just a “pinhole prick” with a needle
that I needed to look for. He then was pulling at his chapped lips and would remove some dry skin in
the process …he would hand it to me & told me to “save” it as “evidence”…..he also broke open a scab
he had on his knee (from a previous fall at home the week before) and he was bleeding. I put a tissue
on it to capture the blood and he also wanted me to save that as “evidence” as well. The rest of the
night was definitely a battle as kevin and I were just trying to get him calm and to go back to sleep.
About every half hour or so dad would have the urge to use the restroom so it was constant-no-rest
for us. Kevin stayed until 4am….and then had to go try to get some sort of rest since he had a double
shift at church ushering on Sunday am. I stayed with dad the rest of the night NEVER sleeping
because he was so agitated…and every time he had to use the restroom the nurse and I had to help
him try to get up to pee (bc he could not do it on his own). Since dad was sooo weak at this point
(obviously using all energy he had earlier to get down to the nurses station with adrenaline) it would
take all we had to lift him up off of the bed and help him with the urinal….walking to the restroom
was now out of the question. NEEDLESS to say….3 of his own jammy pants/boxer shorts along with 4
scrub pants later…..and lots of touching private parts along with messes to clean up off of the
floor…..bc he never could make the urinal and/or potty chair successfully COUPLED WITH loads of
agitation & frustration by dad…made NO rest at all. I have NEVER wanted time to pass so much in my
life. I found Brady Bunch re-run episodes on the tv which helped pass a bit of time, but waiting for
mom to come in the am seemed like eternity. Around 8:15 or so she came in just as he was battling
again to get up to use the restroom……this went on for the rest of the day….along with increased
aggravation & troubled breathing (oxygen had to become a part of his protocol then) made for
another restless day. Janet & Amy came to visit & when I saw them I broke down. I had then been
awake for 24+ hours….we then got some breakfast, called Jodie to give her the awful “all-nighter”
update & just hung out with dad for a little while before Amy took me home.
DADS BACK PICTURE FOR “EVIDENCE”
Sunday 8th, 2015
It was now moms turn to live with the “monster” at this point (aka dad).
It was constant…watching him due to his fidgety fingers trying to possibly pull out his port & dialysis
access. He was also pulling off the remnant tape from his condom catheter (which didn’t last long)
and his ekg stickers on his chest…he just wanted to RIP something!!!! That night he pulled the oxygen
off of his nose. Which made him more confused….mom was getting upset as well, but tried to be
“encouraging” & loving to him…instead of reacting and being negative (which is ALL one wants to do
at this point with him). She asked him if he wanted her to sing the Alpha Chi sweetheart song (which
calmed him down during dialysis the day before) but then he kept wanting her to crawl into bed with
him. Mom told him NO that the bed alarm was on (fall risk and all) and that the nurses would
come…but he woudlnt believe her, grabbed her arm & tried to pull her into bed with him. Mom
pressed the burse button & when the nurse came in she could see how agitated dad was (giving
mom the evil eye) & tried to get him to take his medicine…..which he “faked” & when he got caught
they told him to swallow it & he threw it across the room. The nurse then tried to take his oxygen
level & he threw that off his finger as well…..and told the nurse that he could throw her out the
window….then proceeded to punch her in the shoulder. Unfortunately, since it was Sunday night with
light help (same as Saturday) she then called security to his room and 4 policeman came to tie dad
down to the bed with restraints. Dad then told mom that “she had done it this time” and the men
were going to rape her & he couldn’t help her anymore.  so after they left, the nurses gave him
more iv meds and mom held his hand trying to calm him…dad then said to the nurse while looking at
mom saying “isn’t she pathetic” ….clearly out of his mind at this point (and had been). The rest of the
night he wanted mom to get a knife multiple times and cut him loose, but mom told him all she had
was a plastic fork & that he had to wait until kevin came & we would see what could be done in the
morning. Soooo…..the 2nd “all nighter” began for mom. Mom continued to rub his feet (which typically
works) but by mid day her back was killing her. We had to take a break and go to cvs and get her
heating pads & meds for her later that afternoon.
SIDE NOTE:
Both nights dad got ADIVAN (a drug which is “supposed” to knock one out) BUT it had the OPPOSITE
effect on dad….NOT zonking him out like it should have……now we know…
dad IS allergic to something!!!! Unfortunately dad “craziness” started before that was given to him
so IT wasn’t the EXACT problem…however, “note to self”
NEVER EVER give it to him for ANY reason
EVER again or the EVIL DOCTOR comes to life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am just texing to tell you we love you. I dont have many wise words but i know if anyone can get
thru this its you. I am ao sorry its so bad. My heart breaks for you guys. AMY HART
Just piggy backing off of moms last email. Dad has not done well the past 2 nights.....we've had to
pull some "all nighters" to sit with him as he has become combative, non sensical and hallucinogenic,
restless and now has a horrible cough as well. Did dialysis yesterday to try to get some of this crap
outta him since his kidneys cannot do it on their own. He may go through another round of dialysis
today.....docs are coming up with the game plan for the day and will go from there. Has also had a
chest X-ray since he has this awful congestive cough.....which is keeping him from getting any
good rest whatsoever. :(:( So there is where we are at right now. Love u Shell
Oh Richelle,
Many hugs to you all... so, I gather that your mom and dad spent the weekend with you. I thought
the weekends would be a bit of a reprieve from the craziness, though knowing that the chemo
treatments typically just get
worse and worse until the course of treatment finally ends... Hang in there... Danna
yes...well mom anyway
they came last monday so its been 1 week so far
dad, however has been at the hospital since
wednesday am
this all sucks horribly
i "managed" to stay on my dad's "good list" just until late this morning
(he was already pissed off at mom and kevin for different reasons--nothing they did but just bc his mind is just not right and he has to take it out on someone....
but i could still get him to listen to me & cooperate, but unfortunately i am "grouped" with them on
the "you are against me train" and so that sucks even more :(:(:( he's just not himself on top of
frustrated and confused, and so on......
we know its not personal, but it still hurts nonetheless love you shell
Oh Shell, (is this a recurring theme?)
Well, if you are no longer on his "good list", don't worry about it. He won't remember. You are still
there for him, as are Kevin and Nancy... (but it has to be awful for you all.... intellectually you know it
really isn't Bob (aka: Bird, Robert, Doc and most importantly, Dad) but rather this bull-headed,
stubborn, strong, bright, funny man who is under the influence of horrible drugs that are trying to
cure him. Bob is a doctor, so he knows all ..... (I have met some doctors who are arrogant, but Bob
has never seemed arrogant to me... (though he did roll his eyes a couple of times)... He is the
best. But .... Oh MY...
You are creating a journal of this whole journey for Bill and me... We want to be there for you all, but
don't know how to help....I haven't shared your "journals" of the struggles with this with anyone (ie
Scott, Andy or Terry)... but Bill and I so appreciate your being there... We will come up to lend support,
if you think it will help... Just let us know. Love you so much, Danna
another dialysis will happen
contrast scan
FEB 10th
My sister drove me to Bloomington this morning to water plants, get mail, etc. Not having our week at home as originally
planned. Now heading back to Carmel. My son in law, Kevin (our "captain in this battle) said that he is going to dialysis
shortly for one more time. Just 2 hours this time. Then they want kidneys to try to function on own. Kevin said that he is
being cooperative so maybe my talk helped. After the second dialysis yesterday, his brain was making more sense. Before
that he was talking non sense and was combative so he had to be tied to bed in order not to hurt himself or others. This
morning he was back to being combative and uncooperative. Treatment was beginning to work though because now he
was no longer talking non sense but he was getting discouraged. This morning he told me that I was a liar and he wanted
me to untie him so he could get dressed and go home. I told him that we were all telling him the truth but I told him that
we wanted to do what HE wanted. I told him to talk to God and ask him if he wanted to take you now or if he wanted you
to keep fighting. I told him that the doctors are telling us that he is strong enough to keep fighting and has a good chance
of full recovery. It is just going to take longer than we thought and we are going to run into some problems. We want to
give him that chance but I told him that we wanted him to think about it and along with Gods help make it His decision.
Then I left him and came to Bloomington to do a few things. I guess he thought about it and decided to fight because he
is now cooperating. He has a ways to go. Right now we are trying to completely rid his system of the second chemo and
AND the antidote that was needed and get him back to a healthy state to start dealing with the brain cancer again--different treatment next. Could use prayers for strength. To keep fighting Love to all
> Sent from my iPhone
> "the great G-Nan"
FEB 11
I’m so inspired by your great courage and devotion, Nancy. And, I think you did the right thing by explaining the choice to
Bob. That is what it comes down to, and there are no other choices available. Prayers will continue at this end.
Steve Weiser
You and Bob have been dealing with so much. You are strong but we will pray that you both can stay strong through this
extremely hard time. We hope Bob is doing better tonight and that his system is clear of the chemo. Good that you were
able to take a break to get your mail and water your plants in B ton. You continue to be in our hearts and prayers. Hugs,
Marcia
Ty so much nancy for the update. I'm so sorry you are having to go through all of this. You have been in our prayers &
like you said "it is in Gods hands". I know from experience it is very hard when someone's mind not right &
uncontrollable. I know medicines can certainly cause it. It is hard to watch! Will continue our prayers for you both.
Don't know if you knew, yvonnes husband passed away in Sunday. Ly too
Will do. You are so right. Cherish every moment. We also lost a very good friend this week. Have known them since the
late 60's. Stay strong & as I always say "Gods in control". Ty for keeping in touch. This textings great ! Ly
Kathy Ernhart
Wow - I'm really sorry it's been so challenging. We'll keep the prayers coming. As always, please let me know if there's
anything I can do to help
Scott Jacobs
What you said to him was so beautiful and right on target. I am so sad you all are going through this difficult period as
the chemo and antidote are being flushed out. It must be so hard to see him being difficult and combatant as we all
know him as being kind and caring. Maybe you can tell him again how we love him and want him to recover
TOTALLY. Again, please take care of yourself as well as Bob. Prayers are with all of you. I know your faith and the
strength you are receiving from Our Lord will continue to help. God bless you and hugs,
Bunny
Nancy, you are a wonderful wife. I have tears and will pray for all of you!!!
Ron Warweg
So sorry to hear of all your trials with Bob. Tom & I will continue to pray for you & Bob. Please let us know if there is
anything we can do-I know how to water plants.
Judy Dillon
Oh gosh, what an ordeal! He's used to being in control so I can only imagine how frustrating this must be for him. I'm
thinking about him and praying for all of you!
Scott Long
Our prayers are for you both. I know how hard it is on the caregiver. Be strong and trust in God.
Marilyn Mummey
So sorry-think this is as difficult for you as for Bob. Hang in there--❤❤
Vera Murphy
NANCY, THANKS FOR THE INFO ON BOB. OUR PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU AND ROBERT EVERDAY. TELL HIM TO KEEP UP
THE BATTLE AND NOT TO GIVE UP.
Tom K err AND MK
Thanks, Nancy. I just got the first 2 lines the first time. I am so sorry you both have to go thru this. It
does sound more encouraging from what the doctors told you. We have to keep positive. My pastor
in MI always told me there is hope as there is life & I truly believe it. Hang in there. I know it is very
difficult for you & your family to stand by. It is such a feeling of helplessness. God is in control & I
pray for strength & comfort for all of you & that he shelter you under His wings.
Phyl
Thanks for keeping us in the loop. Our prayers go out for Bob and you. Stay strong.
Joe Terranova
Nancy, Thanks so much for the update. Does that mean that you will be able to be in Bloomington this coming week... to
recuperate before it all starts again? I am assuming that this past week's treatment was completed even though
there is a problem with Bob's kidneys. What a process.. Hang in there.
Danna
Unfortunately, we've hit a bump in our road Robert still is feeling relatively good but
just had a kidney scan (which turned out ok). But the second chemo needs to be flushed
out quickly so as not to damage the kidneys and with this 3rd treatment, the kidneys are
not flushing it out properly sooo----Now they have to order a very expensive anti dote
to the methotrexate to help break it down. It is coming from Ohio and should be here
soon. So. He may not be able to continue with this BEST treatment for his kind of
cancer. The doctor said that it might be risky for someone his age but wanted to try it
since it is the best. Just waiting to see where we go now.
Sent from my iPhone "the great G-Nan"
So sorry, but glad to hear that Bob is comfortable. I keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. Thanks for the update, I
will share the news.
Nabhan
The antidote brought the count from 115 to 30 in just an hour so hopefully will be even better tomorrow. After
24 hours they want the chemo count down to at least 10. His was 165. Then a day later only down to 115. So
that is why they made the decision to call for the antidote so his kidneys would not be damaged. Can go home
when at .1 or less. So you can see how high it was. Hope all is well now. They will need to confer on what to
do for next treatment. But hope to have a week off and relax. Thank you all for prayers. Hope you don't mind
getting updates. Gives me something to do and selfishly asking for more prayers :)
Sent from my iPhone "the great G-Nan"
Thank you for keeping me updated on Bob. I am so glad that the antidote has worked. I hope they
can come up with a good treatment that will work for him & not make him sick. I also think about you
as I know the burden you are caring. It is sometimes hard to be upbeat but you have to put on that
positive face for him. We just have to turn it over to God. He will take care of you. You have lots of
people praying for both of you. Phyl
Nancy & Bob -Laurel told me about the methotrexate dilemma and waiting on the antidote. Sorry to hear about this.
Hope that It comes soon. Just want you to know that I think about you a lot. Our prayers are going out for you as well as
our entire congregation - you are on our church prayer list. Hang in there Bullet. CO
So sorry to hear that, Nancy. Hopefully, these 3 treatments of the best will make a big difference. I
assume they have something else to fall back on. Not everyone can tolerate every kind of chemo but
hopefully there are choices. I continue to hold you both in my prayers. Keep me informed. Phyl
Thank you Nancy for your info about Bob. My prayers and thoughts are with you both. Anyone that has a serious illness
needs an advocate. You are a wonderful advocate for Bob. God bless and keep me informed.
Anne Culler
We love you, are praying for you all. Bill and Dottie
We're so sorry to hear about Bob's struggles. Hang in there. Love, Judy
Nancy, Tom Kerr just shared with me your plight with Bob's situation. You have been in my prayers
and will continue to do so. Tell Bob to keep fighting. We are all pulling for him,(and You). Always,
Dick Gross
showed mom what time it “was” even
though it was 3:30 ish…..wine was needed so I said it was OK bc it “was” 5:00!!!!! 
Chocolates sent from Dale & Kathlene Dubin from Florida…Fancy!!! YUMMERS!!!!!
PAINTING HANGING IN THE HALLWAY ENTERING THE ONCOLOGY UNIT…VERY COMFORTING
EACH TIME WE PASS IT
THERE IS NOTHING LIKE FAMILY……
BEST TIME OF THE DAY IS WHEN “MOM” COMES HOME
hi dana, so days at this point are blending into one another...i seriously cannot remember the last time i updated
you so here goes the latest (yesterday i was "MIA" due to an offsite catering we had to do for about 600 people)
:( work duty called but kevin and mom (and my aunt janet "held down the fort" yesterday as best they could) so,
as for today......dad started out a bit rough. was NOT receptive to my mom greeting him first thing in the am. so
kevin and i quickly followed and got to the hospital. dad was still in restraints and was just frustrated ESP when
he has to go potty but, obviously, cannot bc he is in restraints. So, he must use the urinal OR, unfortunately just
go in the bed which then gets changed. BUT...he was speaking clearly (making much more sense than he had
the day before), got rid of the nasty cough & then he slept well all morning long (which was what he needed
since he had pretty much not slept in 48 hours or so). aunt janet came to be with mom while kev and i had to go
get some work done so mom had a "buddy" to lean on while we were gone....skip to the afternoon when CO
Weddle (his med school buddy) came to visit. when CO walked into the room, dad broke down and cried. they
had a great conversation/visit and dad had wonderful moments of clarity. we then got dad to eat a little bit of
some food, met with some doctors that came in to check on dads progress & chatted for awhile (he was even
cracking jokes) TYPICALLY when he is "in the moment" of this gift of clarity all the nurses FINALLY get to
see the "real" Bob :) THEN....because he was doing soooo good they let us take his restraints off since CO,
kevin, mom, me and 2 nurses were in the room. he felt great, got to itch his face, move around in the bed a bit
AND the best part of all...with everyone's help, let him sit up on the side of the bed, stand up and go to the
bathroom! it was the biggest success EVER :) ESP after not being able to do so after 2 full days of restraints. he
then went to sleep and we let him be since he was so peaceful. THEN....a lil later (once he had to potty again
(which is about every 40 minutes or so bc of all of the fluids they are pumping into him) he got upset. be it the
brain tumors, be it sheer frustration or the toxic chemo med still in his body......who knows?!?! but as we were
trying to help him he got so combative that he was starting to yell and reached out at mom to forcefully cover
her mouth up to "shut her up"----again, not dad. SO, then kevin and i reached out along with the nurse to hold
him down ourselves until they could get the restraints back on him. once the nurse shift changed at 7pm we
finally left to go have a decent dinner (not fast food, hospital cafeteria food, etc.) go home, relax and try to
enjoy the IU game for a bit of OTHER reality. so there you have it. we DID make leaps and bounds today with
dad sleeping, getting restraints off for a bit, visiting with a friend, sitting and standing up to go to the bathroom
& eating some food. unfortunately, it just didn't end on such a good note, but we will take what we can
get. tomorrow is a new day
love shell
Just read your message to Don. We are so with you and Bob in this battle. It will be difficult. If Bob keeps fighting, with
your help, he can beat this. He is one tough man. And you, as his partner, need to stay strong as you are. Once again, we
are both keeping Bob and you in our prayers. Thank you so very much for your updates. I had no idea that you couldn't
spend a week at home. Sharran Thompson
Finally a glimmer of hope!! Feel very good tonight. I understand that tomorrow we may take a step back again, but today
he took a giant leap forward! After so much anxiety and feeling of hopelessness, we are celebrating tonight. His kidneys
still are not functioning properly. They almost did another dialysis today, but decided to wait and see if the kidneys could
repair and start functioning properly. I was dis appointed because I thought it was going to be another bad day for him//getting more and more irritated and disoriented as the day progressed, but as it turned out -- day got better and
better He slept most of the morning which was good for him since he lost over 48 hours of sleep when he had that
constant cough and was totally awake and irritated since the med (Atevan) which was suppose to knock him out--had
total opposite affect on him. Took awhile for that to clear his system. After being confined to bed since Sunday, he had
physical therapy today and may start walking with walker tomorrow. Ate well today and had TV on to the big ten channel
and got to see the IU michigan game which he missed when he was so sick. Even got to take the oxygen out of his
nose. As soon as they are sure his kidneys are properly functioning, we can get another MRI to see condition of the
tumors and decide on a safer treatment for him since he can no longer take this chemo. He still has a hill to climb but he
now seems determined to do it. Thank you all for your concern and prayers.
"the great G-Nan"Keep climbing that hill!! Prayers for strength on the hike!! Thanks for the update. Good news!! (((Hug)))
Jill Hooten
Sooooo happy receive this news! The hill will be conquered! :-) Bunny
My gosh, what an ordeal, Thnx so much for the updates! Hang in there. Glad he's doing a little bit better! Scott Long
Thanks for that thorough report; helps enormously to understand what Bob is dealing with. Good that he’s on his feet,
watching sports, appetite, etc. I’m sure they’ll come up with another treatment that can work. Steve Weiser
Oh, Nancy, I am so happy to hear of your good day!!! You are so much my hero. Perhaps it is your faith, but you have
such grace in the face of your trials--patient, caring and always seeming to know the right thing to say. I am very glad that
Bob was improved today, and look forward to hearing results of MRI and new plan for chemo. Dennis and I will continue
to pray and feel helpless--sure wish there was something we could do!! Thanks so much for taking the time to keep us
up-to-date. Sending you both love and hugs... Pattersons
Praying for him! Wow, what you are both going through! So sorry. So nice you are there by your daughter & son-inlaw. Ty for the update & so thankful for the better day. Kathy Ernhart
Thank you Nancy for the info on Dr. We will continue prayers for you both and that Doctor's kidneys kick in and for some
rest for you too. ELONA
Wow, this is an answer to our collective prayers! Barnes
Great news! Bob is one strong guy and a fighter! Take care of yourself and get some much needed sleep! Betsy Breuer
EEG
I read in the bible last night and asked God to talk to me & that whatever page I turned to
(that’s how I usually do it) & this is what he showed me…it totally explains dad I think…
stuff I already knew unfortunately, that dad at some point must switch from HIS needs & wants to GODS.
The question is HOW…but we must trust that God is working on that with him BC God is drilling home
EXACTLY where it bothers dad the MOST!!!! MIND over MATTER 
Romans 8:1-15New International Version (NIV)
Life Through the Spirit
8 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of
3
the Spirit who gives life has set you[a]free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do
[b]
because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin
4
offering.[c] And so he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully
met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.
2
Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in
6
accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is
7
death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it
8
does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.
5
You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in
10
you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ. But if Christ is in you, then even
11
[d]
though your body is subject to death because of sin, the Spirit gives life because of righteousness. And if the Spirit
of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your
mortal bodies because of[e] his Spirit who lives in you.
9
Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. For if you
live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.
12
13
For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you
slaves, so that you live in fear again;rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. [f] And by
him we cry, “Abba,[g] Father.”
14
15
VALENTINES DAY
Happy valentine day!!
So far a good day. Got to hospital about 8. Had ordered breakfast of fruit cup, oatmeal, bacon, milk. But
Robert was sleeping so just sat with him until they came to get him for a CT scan. Kevin, my son in law and
captain of this battle, went with him. He kept him calm during procedure. When he came back to room,
Richelle and I helped him eat. He mostly fed himself. Yea!!! Ate everything-- even the mixed fruit-which he
ordinarily would pass on. (PROBABLY ATE IT BC WE DIPPED IT IN CHOCOLATE) 
Then he peed in urinal, which has been a problem recently..took medication AND he brushed his teeth and is
now resting. So this is a great day. No dialysis still waiting to see if kidneys recover. He asked why we were
here. Does not remember that he has tumors. Baby steps. Not aggressive today so far so GOOD DAY.
Response from Barnes:
Wonderful, great, super!!! Sounds like three steps forward. Happy Valentine's Day!
We are driving back from the airport. Just dropped the kids off.
FUNNIES:
As Richelle and I were driving home we were reflecting on the journey so far. At the 1st treatment a nurse gave
us a print out about the 2types of chemo that Robert would be getting. She also listed some side
effects. Looking back we were relating all the possibilities to the game show where you gamble and choose
door #1, 2 or 3. We were so concerned about not getting door #1-mouth sores (we bought special mouth
wash and kept insisting that he brush after eating). Or door #2- vomiting and getting real sick (so we
celebrated not having had any if that). Or door #3 - not eating fresh fruits (bc he LOVES grapefruit) and getting
lots of protein & drinking TONS of liquids to stay strong…ALL a challenge when not feeling well! After THIS
round we laughed and said that we'd gladly take ALL of those doors instead of door #4- that NOBODY told us
about…which was damaged kidneys coupled with mean, violent “strapped to the bed” Robert OR as Richelle
puts it: babbling, demonic restrained evil dad on crack  ANY door is WAAAAYYYYY better than #4!!!!!!!
After the 3rd round of methotrexate, things started to go bad. Robert started to get irritable and nothing
could please him. (Would get worse later). But in beginning he was just irritable. We were trying to make him
comfortable so I said do you want another pillow under your head? He waved me away and said NO! I said
what about a pillow just above your head. He got more irritable and said NO !! Under my breath, I said, what
about a pillow on top of your FACE!!! Kevin, richelle & I couldn’t stop laughing….and started laughing even
more BECAUSE he was so irritated wondering WHY we were making noise…
this “oops” text mom sent to this stranger (on a group text she had created)
had her in stitches everytime she tried to talk about it (she was trying to explain dad’s restraints to everyone) &
somehow it went to this guy, but he replied so kindly!!!!!!!!!!!   
When I was with him alone on tuesday evening---shell and Kevin were doing the church catering till 8:30, I was
sitting in chair behind Robert where he couldn't see me (because every time he saw me he wanted me to take off
the restraints and would get angry since I could not). He would fall asleep easily but wake after a few minutes.
Each time he would wake, he would pull at restraints and say "oh God, what have I gotten myself into!" 
Thanks for the update. Sounds like things might be turning around. Sure hope so! Please tell Bob we love him very much
and are pulling for him all the Dick Monroe
THANKS NANCY, A SAFER LESS TOXIC RX MIGHT BE RADIATION RATHER THAN MORE CHEMO. BUT OF COURSE THEY GET
OFFENDED IF YOU MENTION IT BUT I TREATED A LOT OF LYMPHOMAS; NO CURES BUT SIGNIFICANT PALLIATION AND NO ORGAN
FAILURES. TELL BOB WE MISS HIM. ROGER Too much brain involved for that. You have not seen the MRI Sent from my iPhone "the
great G-Nan"
I UNDERSTAND BUT HOPEFULLY IT IS NOW SMALLER AFTER THE MASSIVE CHEMO.? PROTOCOLS WHICH I MAILED YOU HAVE
INVOLVED CHEMO FIRST THEN XRAY FOR THE RESIDUAL. JUST FYI IN CASE IT IS SMALLER NOW. HOWEVER, IRRADIATION HAS BEEN
GIVEN TO THE ENTIRE BRAIN FOR BRAIN METS FOR DECADES. YOUNGER DOCTORS THINK THEIR PATIENTS ARE GOING TO LIVE
FOREVER & THINK THAT WHOLE BRAIN X-RAY WILL CAUSE DEMENTIA FIVE YEARS FROM NOW. OF COURSE ONE HAS TO LIVE FIVE
YEARS TO SEE WHAT % ARE AFFECTED. AND THE EFFECT OF MASSIVE CHEMO TO GET THRU THE BLOOD BRAIN BARRIER IS
UNKNOWN. IN EUROPE THE SAME PEOPLE DO MED ONC & RAD ONC. IN THIS COUNTRY I HAVE FOUND THE MED
ONCs SLOW & RELUCTANT TO CONSULT RAD ONC. THANKS FOR THE UPDATE AND IF YOU NEED TIME OFF FOR BRIDGE ETC I AM
AVAILABLE. ROGER
Nan, Sounds hopeful, thanks for keeping us informed. Just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers
everyday. Never give up!! Lots of love to both of you, Rae Marie
Thanks for the update, Nancy. We are praying for Bob, and you too, Nancy. Unsure of when to call and talk to Bob, but, let
us know. Mel and Lin.
Nancy, Thanks so much for your emails on Bob's condition. I did send an email to Bob's email address last week, but I
doubt he had the energy to read it. Good to hear he is responding clearly now and maybe will be able to get out
of bed. They obviously have been very vigorous in his treatment and the body has not kindly accepted the
poisons. Hopefully the new medications will have less miserable side effects. I know this has brought many stresses on
you and we will keep both you and Bob in our prayers and in God's support. Arch & June
Thanks for the update, Nancy. I know the guys are worried. Let us know if there is ever a time they can come visit and
share "guy" jokes--what I call middle school humor! Our prayers are with you both. Gale Hill
Nancy - Terrific The power of prayer is so strong and his will are going to get him over this hump. Sue and I will
continue to pray for him.
Steve
Hi Nancy, My aunt also had a reaction to (Atevan). She was a sweet woman and wouldn't hurt anyone but when she took
that, she was aggressive and mean. She actually bit one of her nurses. Hopefully, the trend will be upward from here. I'm
going to give Mickey Douglas his e-mail address. I understand that they played little league together. He has him on our
prayer list at church. Thank you for the updates and we will continue praying for him. God Bless, Patty
Nancy: Thank you for your encouraging e-mail. I know that it is a very difficult battle, but tell Bob, that the key to
surviving is faith and friends. Friends he has, and faith he must have. Those are important for a positive outlook. Bud and
I are thinking of you both, and please give him our very warmest wishes. Anne
Nancy, We are delighted to hear about the ray of hope. The Michigan/IU game should boost Bob's spirits. Our thoughts
and prayers are always with you both. Judy and John
Great news. I know you are a lot more encouraged & pray the MRI shows the chemo was working. They gave Bill
Atevan & he was our of it. They told me it would take about 12 hours to get out of his system. It was suppose to have
relaxed him & let him sleep but did the opposite! I refused to let them give to him again. It was mentioned a time or two &
I said no way! I can imagine what you went thru with Bob as I know what Bill experienced. Hopefully the kidneys will start
functioning on their own right away. Hang in there. We missed you yesterday. Phyl
So glad to get your good news. Larry told me that Vera had heard from you and that it had been a rather rough week. I
haven't talked to Jan since Friday a week ago. Larry's aunt died (at 93) and we have been back and forth from Bedford
for that this week, seeing his cousins from Savannah, Portland OR and Detroit. Then today I went to Indy to visit my
sister-in-law, my brother's wife. Went to lunch at a place that Jan took me to once that I loved - Cooper's Hawk (?) or
something like that on 96th. Please keep in touch. We think of you both all the time. Barbee
Nancy, This is the second update we have gotten from you... and we do appreciate it. We just wish we could help in some
way. (if only to water your plants)... Richelle has been a trouper sending us updates about this very
grueling process... You are definitely in our prayers.. Love, Danna
SUNDAY, FEB 15, 2015
WAS ABLE TO GO TO CHURCH TODAY WITH MOM. KEVIN TOOK THE “SHIFT” AT THE HOSPITAL TODAY.
AT CHURCH WE WERE ABLE TO CONNECT & RE-ENERGIZE.
IT WAS COMMUNION AS WELL….VERY FITTING.
WE RAN INTO DOUG KISER (OUR PASTORAL CARE PASTOR) AND HE WAS TALKING TO US IN THE ATRIUM
JUST BEFORE WE ENTERED THE SERVICE. HE GAVE US A LIL “NUGGET” OF INFORMATION FROM AN AUTHOR
HE REALLY LIKED WHO WAS A PASTOR OF A CHURCH WHO LOST HIS WIFE BATTLING CANCER.
THE REMINDER WAS THIS:
1. WE ARE NOT IN CONTROL
2. THINGS ARE NEVER OUT OF CONTROL
3. BECAUSE GOD IS ALWAYS IN CONTROL
MOM AND I THEN DROVE TO BLOOMINGTON TO GET SOME MAIL, WATER HER PLANTS AND GRAB
SOME ITEMS. ON THE WAY OUT OF TOWN WE STOPPED AT STARBUCKS TO GET COFFEE. WE WERE
LIKE 8 CARS BACK IN LINE AND WE TRIED TO BACK UP TO GET OUT OF LINE SINCE IT WAS TAKING SO
LONG. WE ENDED UP HAVING CARS BEHIND US SO WE WERE STUCK IN LINE AND JUST HAD TO WAIT
OUR TURN. WE ALSO STOPPED TO GET GAS ON THE WAY OUT OF TOWN AND MOM GOT
FRUSTRATED BECAUSE WHEN SHE HIT THE “PRINT RECEIPT” BUTTON IT HAD RUN OUT OF PAPER &
SHE HAD TO GO INSIDE THE STATION TO GET IT. FINALLY…AFTER BOTH STARBUCKS AND GAS
STATION “INCIDNETS” WE HEADED ON OUT OF TOWN. RIGHT BEFORE WE GOT TO ABOUT
GREENWOOD, TRAFFIC CAME TO A DEAD STOP. ALL OF A SUDDEN TONS OF EMERGENCY VEHICLES
WITH THEIR LIGHTS FLASHING WERE RUSHING TO GET AROUND US. AFTER ABOUT 15 MINUTES OF
NOT BUDGING, THE ONE LANE OF TRAFFIC STARTED TO MOVE. AS WE GOT CLOSER TO THE
ACCIDENT SCENE WE REALIZED HOW BAD IT WAS. WE MUST HAVE PASSED ABOUT 5 AMBULANCES, 7
FIRE ENGINE TRUCKS AND ABOUT 12 POLICE/SHERRIFF CARS. WHATEVER ACCIDENT OCCURRRED WE
COULD NOT REALLY SEE AS IT HAPPENED OFF OF THE ROAD AND DOWN INTO A DEEP DITCH ON THE
RIGHT SIDE OF THE SHOULDER. JUST GOES TO SHOW HOW WE SHOULD ALL BE THANKFUL FOR
EVERYTHING…EVEN IF IT TAKES MORE PATIENCE TO WAIT IN A LINE TO GET COFFEE AND/OR HAVING
TO GO INSIDE TO GET A RECEIPT AT A GAS STATION…..GOD MAY HAVE JUST PUT THOSE
“INCIDENCES” IN OUR PATH SO WE COULD AVOID A MAJOR LIFE-CHANGING ACCIDENT JUST A MILE
OR SO UP THE ROAD FROM WHERE WE WERE AT. THANKS BE TO GOD.
/
passing some time with grocery “monopoly” haven’t won yet…
Connie mattix daughter came by to visit & give us flowers from her mom
Hard to give an update today. Only positive is that they finally took out the dialysis catheter Creatine levels
continue to go down. Long way from normal though. Still .2 of that chemo lingering Must get down to .1 or best
.08. So that is the positive. I won't list the negatives. Trying to stay positive. Thanks for your encouraging notes
hi
a couple of you have been texting and wondering so i will shoot a quick email just so you know where things
are as of now. the 3rd round of chemo basically hit a wall for my dad. we are going on his 3rd straight week in
the hospital due to complications that came up. unfortunately my dads kidneys could not process the chemo out
of his body this time on his own which resulted in 3 bouts of dialysis. days after, drs were wanting to see if the
kidneys could function on their own...a lil improvemnet but not a lot happened. still, the levels of chemo and his
creatine (sp?) are not where they should be. he then was having some issues breathing so both lung and heart
drs were called in. pneumonia was on the table for a poss cause (bc of his cloudy lung scan) AND would be the
"nicest" way to go (as my dad always called it senior citizens "best friend" when he was a director in a nursing
home and knew that was a kinder way to go than other alternatives....sad but true) however, pnemonia was third
in line of poss.....the heart docs think (along with 25% out of like 55% functioning from another test they ran) &
pretty much concluded he is entering congestive heart failure now.....in addition to kidney probs AND the toxic
chemo still in his system as well....not to mention he does still have brain tumors. SO the latest is that my dad
will be transferred to a hospice center tonight around 7:30.......after being bedridden for well over a week now
(cannot stand up on his own) coupled with very combative fighting behavior (he also has been in retraints too)
this is where we need to go. my dad would NEVER want to fight a losing battle and we, unfortunately have to
make the hard decision to transfer him so that he can at least be more peaceful. right now he never gets rest, is
not in his right mind (and hasnt been) and we are trying to save what dignity he has left. im a wreck, kevin is
spent and my mom is done. i can hardly type up this email but wanted you all to please pray this will all end
soon.........it has been the hardest 3 weeks of my life......and i would do it for another xxxx amount of time if we
thought HE would want it AND if he had a fighting chance.....thank you all for being there.....will keep you
posted from here on out when i can.
love
shell
Got dad settled. It's like s nice hotel suite. So much better than hospital. Dad has his largemouth bass tshirt on.
No restraints. Gymn shorts
He is the most peaceful he's been all day (which was rough)
Kevin and I were holding each of dads hand before we left and Kevin asked dad a favor: to talk to God
tonight....dad replied: “I already started last night” (his eyes were even open when we were talking to him)
I think we will rest easy tonight for the first in a long time
P.s. Also earlier today in the hospital in a non combative moment (of which there were many today) I started
praying the Lord's Prayer out loud to dad and asked him to join in....he seemed like he tried to say a few words
(like he knew them) but said something to the effect that he didn't want to say them out loud with mom and I
(she wasn't even in the room) and that he kept that private....so we will take that too :)
The Monday when mom and dad came down (the night bf this whole process) he had insisted
on going out to dinner and treating us (prime 47) mom said he even showered that day and put on a
nice sweater along with his new black nike sweatpants....Kevin unfortunately could not go due to
city council but we went. Mom and I had martinis. The 3 of us shared calamari to start, ribeye dinner
and finally the baked Choco chip cookie topped with ice cream
that we had the last time we were there (that he hadn't forgotten about) it was a lovely dinner.
text from Bobbie in our lifegroup who lost her dad years ago
Each room in hospice has a donor name
associated with it. Dad, of course got the “Robert” Room. I looked up this gentleman’s obituary & here are
snippets that are just fitting….plus can you BELIEVE this… I “thought” this last name sounded familiar….well,
this room was the grandfather to one of our employees’ husband. Kevin talked to him later today & Toni
Alderling said that his grandfather could have “been the Pope”!!! Dad got HIS room he passed in. again his
obituary was forever long but I just took snippets that kind of reminded me of dad. Robert J. Alerding, 89 /
attended Indiana University at Indianapolis / Bob served in the Army in WW II, rank of Captain, and then
served another 3 years in the Indiana National Guard with the rank of Major / God blessed them with 7
children / employed 40 years: Corporate Secretary and VP of Finance / 55-year member and past President /
national chairman / Bob spent his life in the service of the Indianapolis community / civic and charitable
activities / numerous volunteer leadership roles / 23-year member advisory board of St. Vincent Hospital / 10
years chairman / 55-year member and past President of the Indnps Athletic Club / board of the IAC Sports
Foundation/ co-founder and 40- year member Board of Directors of The Talbot House, a home for alcoholic
men / In recognition of his many years of service to Indianapolis and Indiana, he was named a Sagamore of the
Wabash by the governor of Indiana in 1991 / Although struck with complete blindness in 2000, Bob never
complained about his plight and learned to be self-sufficient
Dear Mrs. Wylie, please let Dr. Wylie know that he is in my thoughts and prayers these days. Let him know I have been
thinking about him and am praying for his recovery. You both were always very kind to me and I just wanted to both to
know that I have many fond memories. Perge!
Jeff
Had to ask google what “PERGE” meant in the FIJI fraternity terminology:
Term
What is the watchword of the Fraternity and its
translation?
Definition
Perge - Press on!
Our prayers are with you and our love. We are so sorry. Love to you and those you love, Bill and Dottie.
Dear Nancy, So sorry that the news isn't better. Let us know if there is anything you need. Gale
Not a good 2 days. Finally made the decision yesterday after consulting with several doctors -- just getting him settled
in a wonderful hospice here in Indy. St Vincent hospice. He developed a lung infection and is in heart failure. He has not
made much sense in his thoughts. The doctors felt it was best to make him comfortable. We are very sad but know that
this is best for him. They started to treat the infection and heart problem, but the fact is--he still has brain cancer. After all
the docs consulting---we decided it was best to take him to a better place than that hospital room that so agitated
him. He is settled in and we feel good for the first time in weeks. This is what he would have wanted.
NANCY, MAY GOD BLESS HIM AND KEEP HIM FREE OF PAIN. MAY GOD GIVE YOU THE STRENGTH TO GET
THROUGH THIS. LOVE, TK AND MK
Thank you for the info. We will keep him in our prayers. Dave
Hi Nan, Just thinking about Bob----our prayers are with him for the best. Val and I are very sad that all this is happening
to such a wonderful guy. Getting to know you and Bob has been a very enjoyable experience and we are sure that his
unfortunate illness is extremely difficult for you and family. Be strong Nan and keep yourself healthy. Please share with
Bob that we are praying for his quick recovery. Love you guys, Don
It sounds like a good decision. Bob will be comfortable and have dignity. Our hearts are with you and your family. Love,
Judy Enslen
thinking about and praying for Bob and you and your family everyday. Peace and love, Jim Cahillane
Nancy, I am so saddened for you & Bob & I know what a very difficult decision this is for you. There
is no other organization to compare with the love & care that Hospice gives not only to the patient but
to you. Believe me I realize how tough this is for you. Just wish I was there to give you more support
but know that is probably the best place for him as you have family there to support you & it is best for
them. I have talked with Mary & Janice & sent e-mail to rest of our table & left message with
Karen. Will tell your bridge group tomorrow & anyone else I can think of that should know.
You are always both in my prayers. Phyl
Talked to Ron this a.m.. He helped some what with what Bob is going through. I step forward, 2 back......1 back, 2
forward. Encouraging that the creatine levels are dropping. That's a plus. We must have patience, you're doing so
well, so beautifully. When I wake up in the middle of the night, I only think of you & Bob. It's a very special time to pray!
We love you. A loooong hug. Sue Alling
Nancy, we are so sorry. I can't stop crying. How we wish we were there for you. We have started to pack up so we can
head home. We could never get through the South now with all the bad weather. Sheryl Barnes
My heart is breaking for all of you. It is a terrible time that you think you will never have to deal with. I'm so relived to hear
that Bob's suffering and agitation is coming to an end. You are so right this is what he would want, this is what we would
all want. My thoughts keep going back to your lovely party and how happy your family was. I keep you all in my prayers.
Thank you for taking the time to let me know how you are all doing. Your memories and wonderful family will help you
get through this. Lots of love to Bob and all of you, Rae Marie or Raymondi as Bob liked to call me
MORE FUNNY MOMENTS:
Janet visiting the hospital: dad (in a few moments of clarity……said
“Janet looks well for her age” & another time “she’s kinda dizzy isn’t she?”
As mom is getting lots of texts Bunny Furlin always ends hers with “the Bunser”
as she said dad always called her that
Betsy Breuer (Burt) texted mom and she ended with saying that dad was the first to call her “The Bets”
I love you Bob! I will always Remeber your laugh, jokes and you were one of the first people to call me Bets.:)
One of the things I always cherish and remember is how the "3 amigos" were so much fun and always cracking
everyone up! Ron, Alan and Bob made our family get togethers a lot more fun! Who can forget the Christmas with
the kazoos!
Janet mom & I were sitting in dad’s room talking about all his “nicknames” he would give people and
just got to laughing about it….
like he would call both uncle ron & Janet’s ron: “Ronaldo”
David, dads hairdresser, called mom this am to just touch base & mom stated that dad also nicknamed
him….Daveeeeeed instead of david 
“Ray-mondi” (rae marie nabhan)
The Dandy Andy
The kev…the kevster…keveeeeeeeen (for Kevin)
The “Shellster” (for Richelle)
“Charcoal” aka Charlie Walker
“SHER” (pronounced Share) for Sheryl Barnes
Susie Q & White-EY (for Sue & Jim Alling)
“PB” for Phyllis (moms friend)
Good lord, Richelle! I agonized over just how to reply to your note for several hours. I felt physical
pain when I read it...heart just broke for you. And the sad thing is, even though I work in healthcare
and I deal with this kind of stuff pretty often, I am totally clueless to know how to help you right now. I
see it from a "technical perspective", you know, all the medical stuff. I'm comfortable with that
stuff. But the reality of how truly awful going through something like this is, I don't have a clue. I know
one thing, there are some things worse than death - and you are experiencing that right now. To
watch someone you love go through such a horrible thing and feel completely helpless... good
god...there are no words! I am praying for you so often, but still feeling like I don't know how to
help. I thought of taking you to lunch, or out for a drink, even having you over for a meal, but I'm
afraid that may require energy that I don't think you have. And I'm sure you are truly sick of talking
about all of this...that it wears you out every time you have to. If I could, I would infuse you with
strength, I would carry the burden for you, even for a few hours so you could remember what it felt
like to laugh and to truly rest, to feel love that isn't painful. I'm here and ready to help in whatever way
I can. Please know how truly loved you are and how truly sorry I am that you are having to endure
this. Praying? Oh yes! Without ceasing, my friend! . GAYLE
the BEST ice machine at hospice
Dear Nancy,
Connie forwarded your message regarding Robert. We were so sorry to hear about everything. Our prayers are for
you and the girls. I know this is a terribly difficult time for all of you, but the love of your family and friends and
faith in God will help you get through. We have been in Florida since Nov 1; Connie is visiting with Rick next
week. I know Robert is in good hands with Hospice. It is such a wonderful organization and they will keep him
comfortable and peaceful….Take care, Jim and Kay
I am very saddened to hear of Bob's health condition. I meant to have a conversation with Bob before either of
us was sick or dying; but now it appears I am too late. So please tell "BULLET" Bob that I thank him for all of the
memorable and wonderful times we had together; and that I love him like a brother. Love, "MOODS"
Thank you for your note. It meant so much to me as I was so saddened years ago of the lost friendship. I was glad that we
briefly connected at Cathie's wedding. And yes, I think it is too late for Robert to understand your note. The hospice
doctor told us that what Robert is doing is typical of veterans in their final days. He has been frantically taking care of
wounded soldiers. I was not of much assistants to him but yesterday, one of his doctor friends arrived at a perfect time
and could talk medical about treating the wounded and he seemed to relax when that help arrived. Please tell Kay that I
appreciated her note also. Sent from my iPhone "the great G-Nan"
You have no idea how much your note meant to us today. Robert was asleep most of the day, but we read it to him and
he seemed to respond. We did not know what "perge" meant so Richelle googled it. Press on. Moving forward. Right
?? We have been doing a lot of reflection recently. So weird that someone who has used his brain power would
suddenly be robbed of that. Life is such a challenge. God wants us to know that HE is in charge. Again. We have heard
from so many friends of the past. But your note made us all cry because it was so unexpected and heartfelt.
Sent from my iPhone "the great G-Nan"
Thanks for the reply, Mrs. Wylie. Yes, Perge is one of our Fiji words we use all the time and is has great meaning to our
brothers. Give him a hug and let him know a dear brother is thinking about him. Jeff
SENT FROM JODES
Hi Mrs. Wylie,
I am sad that you have made the move to hospice, but I agree; I think it is what Dr. Wylie would want. I'm glad he is more
relaxed there as I am sure that makes it easier on the whole family. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Please let me
know if you need anything . Lori Lencheck (Connie's daughter)
Thank you for calling today. Please know that we care about you and Bob so much and will continue praying. It
helped our understanding of everything to listen to you today. I would never second guess any of the very hard
decisions you’ve had to make, and there’s no way I would know any better approaches to any of this. Sometimes
I’ve asked questions just so I can avoid making mistakes in what I relate to classmates, or just to clarify something
so I can explain it to them. Anyway, I apologize for the questions....trying to keep them to a minimum, and after
our talk today, I don’t have any! Many of the classmates are just in great sorrow about it all, but also we know our
sorrows cannot compare to yours. Steve Weiser
So so sorry to hear about Doctor. Hope you and the girls can find comfort in each other. Will continue in prayer for all of
you. Hard to realize how quick things can happen. So wished things would have turned out different. Take care of yourself
Nancy through this most difficult time. Much love to you and your family. ELONA
Nancy, God is with you every moment. All of your friends all over Indiana, Bloomington, Florida, everywhere, are
praying so hard for you right now. We love you. (No need to reply.) Robert Allings
mom and I were beside dad yesterday morning and I was
playing him music on my iphone. Songs I had found to play such as The Messiah Chorus, Hallelujah,
Doxology…I had played all of them and mom said, “can you find something with a really low base singer like the
Oak Ridge Boys (bc dad loves bass & sung bass himself when he was in the barber shop quartet back in the
80’s. so I just you tubed very low base singer and this video pops up. It said NOTHING about what song it was
only this:
so I clicked on it.
Can you BELIEVE the song they sang was being performed in a church AND that the song WAS an Oak Ridge
Boys tune…just for dad! played the song multiple times for him & dad would move his fingers in the sir to it. 
[Chorus:]
If we ever needed the Lord before
We sure do need Him now
Oh, we sure do need Him now
Oh, Lord, we sure do need Him now
(Oh, glory) If we ever needed the Lord before
We sure do need Him now
We need Him every day and every hour
We need Him in the morning
We need Him in the night
We need Him in the noonday
When the sun is shining bright
We need Him when were happy
We need Him when were sad
We need Him when were burdened
Just to make our hearts feel glad
(O glory) We need Him, we need Him
We really, really, really need Him
In the morning, in the night
We need Him in the noonday
When the sun is shining (shining bright)
(Oh) We need Him, we need Him
We really need Him
When were happy, when were sad
We need Him when were burdened
Just to make our hearts fell... glad
We need Him every day and every hour
We need Him every day and every hour
(Minute by minute by minute)
We need Him every day and every hour
(Every day and, and every hour)
brought dad his comfty blue tshirt…days of
wanting to be “nkaed” and thismorning he was asking for a nice, soft tshirt
Last night we were talking to the new nurse for shift change & I told her I
hoped her night was more relaxing than what the day nurse had bc both dad (a viet nam vet) and a gentleman
right across the hallway (a WWII vet) had had a very restless day. Soon after the nurse came down the hallway
with a flag to tape on dads room entry & I said “Oh, thank you very much…..i had noticed the WWII guy had
one on his door & thought his family put it there” (and so I was going to go home & make one for dad to hang
the next day) but she beat me to it & said back, “No, not his family…we here at hospice HONOR all vets with a
huge smile.” 
Kevin, I wholeheartedly agree that Carl is a rarity in the surgical profession. I think what people want in their physician is
honesty, competence and compassion. This is particularly important at the end of one's journey. Carl has the gift, indeed. I
have attached an article from the NYT I found yesterday, and seems apropos in regard to your father-in-law. It is written
by Oliver Sachs, MD, a neurologist who also wrote "Awakenings" (later a movie with Robin Williams) who himself is
dealing with terminal cancer. The last paragraph, where he states, "I have been given much and I have given something in
return," made me think of Bob, who dedicated his life in service to others as a physician. It is very moving, I think. Wishing
comfort to Bob, your wife and entire family during this time. Take care Kathy Butz
“snippets” from The New York Times: “My Own Life” :
A MONTH ago, I felt that I was in good health. At 81, I still swim a mile a day. But my luck has run out — a few weeks ago
I learned that I have multiple metastases in the liver. Nine years ago it was discovered that I had a rare tumor of the eye,
an ocular melanoma…only in very rare cases do such tumors metastasize. I am among the unlucky 2 percent.
“I am now face to face with dying. But I am not finished with living.”
I have been lucky enough to live past 80, and have been equally rich in work and love.
“I am ... a man of mild dispositions, of command of temper, of an open, social, and cheerful humour.”
I have been increasingly conscious, for the last 10 years or so, of deaths among my contemporaries. My generation is on
the way out, and each death I have felt as an abruption, a tearing away of part of myself. There will be no one like us when
we are gone, but then there is no one like anyone else, ever. When people die, they cannot be replaced. They leave holes
that cannot be filled, for it is the fate — the genetic and neural fate — of every human being to be a unique individual, to
find his own path, to live his own life, to die his own death.
I have loved and been loved; I have been given much and I have given something in return;
Above all, I have been a sentient being, a thinking animal, on this beautiful planet, and that in itself has been an enormous
privilege and adventure.
Good Morning Dr. Wylie,
I have been thinking about and praying for you and your family! Patty has been keeping me updated thru your wife Nancy
on your progress. I just wanted you to know that I sure do miss you around here, your humorous shenanigans, reading
your Wylie Wisdom Newsletters you have me copy for you and the students, and your informational emails that you send!
You remind me so much of my Dad, and I love that about you! I pray this email finds you & Nancy having a good day!
Love & Prays for all! Pamela K. Vaughn
Hi Nancy,
I haven’t heard from you this week and was wondering how the MRI turned out and what the status of his kidney function
is. Did Brother Mickey Douglas e-mail him? I left the e-mail addresses on his voicemail at his house. I will keep him in my
prayers. If you have an opportunity, please let us hear from you. Please tell him we are thinking of him. Patty Booker
I just wrote a message in the inside cover to a
puzzle that I am donating to the hospice. They have multiple board games to play, but I thought it would be nice to
leave a “piece” of my dad. I took a snippet from my “puzzle themed” journey letter I had written to him weeks ago.
Dear Nancy: Thank you for your wonderful and informative e-mail. I was so pleased to speak with you this morning. This
is a very difficult time for you and the family. My heart and prayers go out to all of you. As we discussed, I am writing a
few words to Bob, and if you feel there is an opportune time, please read them to him.
Bob: How does one convey their thoughts and feelings to a person that you have known for over 65 years. We started
our friendship at Elm Heights in the 3rd grade. Then, the two of us ended up on Jordan Avenue and attended University
School. Most every day we walked to school together. You were the outstanding athlete…..good in football. basketball,
and baseball. You were the one who taught me (during the world series) who was who on the teams. These are
wonderful memories. Our class was unique, and you have been the catalyst to bring us all together. I want you to know
that I have treasured your friendship over the years. You and Nancy have been so good to Bud and myself when we come
to Bloomington…..always entertaining, always gathering our classmates together. My love and thoughts are with you, dear
friend. Anne
Nancy & family-----Tom & I send our love and prayers to all of you.
As one patient said to me often when he developed irreversible heart disease and was going to leave a young family
behind "No one ever said life was fair!" Sadly, those were very true words. In my years of nursing, we would see a "wife
beating bum" come in very sick and yet that patient seemed to always do well. Robert dedicated his life to taking care of
so many sick patients and one would think that should spare him some of what he is going through. Hopefully his
confusion is a blessing, making him unaware of what is happening. I did talk to Ron Barnes a couple of nights ago and
they were packing up to go back to Indiana and I know they will help all of you through this. We will continue to keep all
of you in our prayers. Maryann & Tom Kerr
UPDATE: FEBRUARY 22, Sunday
Time to collect my thoughts and give an update.
We have been here at St. Vincent Hospice since Wednesday evening. Robert entered St. Vincent hospital on
February 4th for the 3rd round of his methotrexate chemo treatment for his brain cancer. That evening (literally
as the chemo was entering his body), we walked down the hall to the lounge-IV pole wheeling beside him.
There-my daughter, Richelle, her husband Kevin and I had a great dinner of Hollyhock Hill take out. The usual:
fried chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, and corn---same as our wedding day and our 50th anniversary
party. Robert felt the best ever and had 2 helpings. Then, we sat at the puzzle table and all worked together to
complete a puzzle---something that Robert has always loved doing, but had no interest in for months. He
even walked without support. We all felt sooo good that night thinking that we were going to beat this
cancer. Then the next day, we discovered that the level of that chemo left in his system after 24 hour was 165
instead of the 10 as it should have been. That chemo needs to be flushed out within 72 hours--eventually
down to 0.1-- so as not to damage the kidneys. The doctors made the decision to send for the antidote (a very
expensive one that is not often needed). After that arrived (being driven from Ohio) and was administered, the
level went down to 30. Each day went down but verrrry slowly. We ended up doing 3 rounds of dialysis to
help process the chemo and antidote out of his system. Since he had known heart issues, and is borderline
diabetic, his body unfortunately said enough!! After all the doctors treating "the whole man" conversed
(cardiologist, pulmonologist, oncologist, urologist, neurologist, and the doctor on the special care team that
looks at the “whole picture” view of dads care/meds--they concluded that it was time to stop treatment and
give him peace. His living will confirmed that decision.
So here it is Sunday-4 days after entering hospice care. Robert is a strong man, not only physically, but
mentally. He has never admitted to any pain in his life - even during his by-pass surgery and his 2 hip
replacements. And now with brain cancer (one the size of an orange on the back side and the other the size of
a lemon-growing from the right into the left hemisphere of the brain). He continues to answer no pain
whenever we and/or the doctors ask him. WHAT!?!?!
Yesterday he relived what must have been a troubling situation from his Vietnam days. He was frantically
asking our help to cut material to use as gauze and was constantly suturing in the air. Fortunately a med
school buddy arrived about this time and talked medical to him about “triaging” and treating all the
wounded. He seemed to relax then since he had help. He has not gone back there since, thankfully.
We are keeping vigil now. He has moments of agitation and moments of peace. They think he is within days,
but he is strong so we just don't know. He has surges of energy where he wants to get up and walk but quickly
realizes (even with all of our help) that he is just too weak to do so. Our older daughter, Jodie, arrived on Friday
and has spent the last 2 nights with Robert which was so comforting since Richelle, Kevin and I have had our
share of those nights at this point. We come early in the morning every day for breakfast and stay all day
usually until the nurse shift change at night.
Not our will but Gods will be done. We are talking to him every so often and letting him know that it is ok to
not be in control any longer & that he can rest now. He has done soooo much & it is now his time to be taken
care of. He is, for the most part, unresponsive but we continue to talk to him hoping he can hear our words of
love.
As one of Robert’s old colleagues and friends stated in an email: “there are times that comfort is much more
important than miserable longevity.” We completely agree.
Thank you for sharing in this journey and for your continued thoughts, prayers, concerns and love for Robert. I
could not have done it without all of your support.
Love, Nancy
Hospice is a wonderful agency filled with special people. I’m sure Bob, you and your family will find the
support and comfort there needed to get thru this final part of life’s journey with peace and dignity. I can only
imagine how hard all of this been and commend you for being strong enough to look at the big picture on
Bob’s behalf and to be brave enough to respect all those sort of difficult requests that are part of a living will. I
also think people can hear long after they lose the ability to communicate – I’m sure being surrounded by
words from his loving family is a huge source of comfort. Our prayers are with you – if I can help in anyway
please let me know. Sarah
Nancy,
What a wonderfully written letter. Believe me, you and your family are in our thoughts all the time.
Thanks for taking the time to keep up us to date - as we do care - but know your time is precious with Bob.
Barbee and Larry
With tears in my eyes I read your note and know it won’t be long now. May God’s love and comfort be felt by
both of you. Thank you dear one for the update. I think of you so often and pray for both of you often several
times a day. Dick feels deeply about not being there for Bob and hates the thought of losing his friend, but
doesn’t want him suffering. With all our love, Sherry Atwater
one of Susan Riders’ MANY MANY wonderful
meals she prepared for us to eat while dealing with everything. It was such a comfort to not have to cook,
worry about groceries, etc……she thought of breakfast, lunch, snacks and dinner…what a blessing 
Robert is now walking on a bright path to peace and comfort. God speed, Bob. You never walk alone.
Dave Madaris
Hi Nancy, Thank you for sending this email. We think of you so often and can only imagine how difficult this has all
been for you and Bob. Please continue to keep us informed whenever you have time. Hugs, Marcia
Nancy, Thanks for the update on Bob-he is a very courageous man and I am convinced he will give 110%. Mark
Twain one said,”Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear---not absence of fear.”Robert’s faith is strong as
he is demonstrating to all of us--- as he did as an athlete, Physician, father, and husband--- that nothing
impressive has ever been achieved expect by those who dare to believe that something inside of them was
superior to circumstance. Nancy our prayers will continue---keep talking to him, he hears you. Love, Don Pate
Thank you so much, Nancy, for keeping me in the loop on Bob's journey. It brings back so many memories of what Tom's
last days were like. I took great comfort in knowing that Tom's final days were ones of comfort and peace as it seems that
you and your family have agreed is the case with Bob. I'm sending lots of hugs with my arms wrapped around you and
the family. If I can do anything, please let me know. I also wanted to take this opportunity to tell you that I will be out
of town March 1-26 but will be on email during that time. I'm sending my blessings to all of the Wylie family. Bob was a
terrific Univee and IU man and has made so many friends along the way. I hope that this will help you cope with some
difficult days ahead. Hugs - Janet
Our hearts and prayers are with you in this time of unbelievable grief that we all share. Love, Ron and Sheryl
Nancy, You did a magnificent job of explaining what Bob and the family have endured the last few weeks. He has been
such a fighter and so brave. I cried as I read your thoughts to Roger, and we both understand your pain. You have the faith
that will sustain you in the days to come, and you also have dear friends who are praying for you all. We love you and tell
Bob how much we love him, too. Cathie and Roger
Nothing to say . we love you all, and you truly are in our prayers. Bob has to be comforted with all the outpouring of love
he's receiving. Just know that you and your family are also enveloped in not only our love, but God's love. We are praying
for you all. We are in Phoenix visiting Jeff and his family, but, let us tell you Phoenix prayers are just as potent as Indiana
prayers, and you have them all.!!! Dorthy Woods
Nancy.......Thank you so very much for the up-date. Bob is and has always has been strong - but it appears that
he is ready to stop the fighting and gain comfort. I am certain that you and the kids are ready to give him up if
he can not be - Bob. He has special to me and frankly I have enjoyed his friendship more in recent years than I
did when we were younger. I WILL NEVER FORGET THE LL BASEBALL REUNION AND HIMTELLING ME I WAS GOING TO THE HOSPITAL - to get checked out......which resulted in them putting a
stint in the following day. PLEASE......remember I have continued to pray for Bob, you and the family............I
am thankful he has been special to me.
From afar is there anything I can do!!! Steve Parrish.
Beautifully written! Bob would be pleased. It is an honor just knowing him and being counted among
his friends!!! Continued prayers, Karen Karpinski
Dear, dear Nancy . . . this is Linda, We are so saddened to hear of Bob's condition. Please know we are keeping you, Bob
and your family in our prayers during this difficult time. Please know we are here for you if we can do anything at
all. Thank you for your updates. Continue to be strong. We love you and God bless, Linda & Mel
Dear Nancy, Thank you for the detailed email and update. I also agree completely that having some peace and comfort
for a few days is much better than misery and suffering for (perhaps) some extra days. We plan to gather for “Boys Night
Out” this Thursday and we will miss Bob, who is the heart of the group (and its creator and catalyst). Our thoughts and
prayers will be with him and you. -Gil
Good morning Nancy . . . I see that Steve sent a note to you and I wanted to as well. A year ago, you and Bob could not have
imagined your being in this situation. It is so terribly unexpected and sad. My heart goes out to you. I know the Lord is your
shepherd. Even though you are walking through the valley of the shadow of death at this time. fear no evil, for the Lord is with
you and with Bob. The Lord's rod and staff will comfort you. Nancy, we know that C.O. has come up to spend some time with
Bob. I liked what you said about Bob receiving comfort and that may be the best that can be offered at this time. I am
sure C.O.'s visit was comforting to Bob. And you and Bob did have a wonderful dinner together with your family recently. It is
the small things that become important. Sending God's blessings your way. Love. . . Sandy
Is he sleeping??
Yes, Sorta resting with eyes closed, but he's restless, moving his legs. Rubbing his lips with his hand. Now he asked for
water. He wants me to help him out of bed :-( he doesn't give a rats ass, just help him....He wants a big guy, superman to
help him up. A man that's big and strong. Right now. I want your mom, dad, whoever, I don't care if he's black or white. A
tough guy. Ready to rough. Strong as can be…He wants a 290 pounder and “GO!!!!!!”
I told him he's been here three weeks and his legs are too weak. He says he doesn't care if he's been here 20 yrs…,” let's
get up and GO!!!!!”
I told him you guys are coming soon. I asked him if he is in pain. He said yes. I said where. He said everywhere. I said let
me fix your pillow. He said the pillow isn't gonna do squat, it hurts everywhere. Wants to know if 2 big guys are coming
soon. Nurse came and pressed the dose button. She is checking to see if it's time to get anything else
(Jodes re-cap from early in the am on Monday, February 23, 2015)
Cant explain it but, when you know that time is limited, ALL you want to do is BE with your loved one:
doing WHATEVER…….just sit there, hold their hand as long as they will let you, rub their arm, cover
them up, uncover them, give them liquid on a sponge, re-position them in the bed, put a tshirt on,
take a tshirt off, fluff their pillow, play them music, make sure they don’t pull something important
out, sneak in kisses every so often, and dads favorite: FOOTSIE RUBS!!!!!
Countless footsie rubs. That was dads FAV. And, during this process it happened to be the one thing
we had in our “pocket” that we could whip out and use “in case of emergency” …that calmed him
down during MANY of procedures, bed changes and/or flat out meltdowns. We must have racked up
hundreds of them. Mom was a trooper (bc it does take quite a toll on ones back) and often coupled
them with lotion…..dads feet became baby butt soft.
But pampering that big “loveable guy” with his go to--feel good move was the best thing ever…
for EVERYONE involved. 
I always knew I had a ton of my dads “body characteristics.” My feet and dads are IDENTICAL….our square nails, our
sausage toes & especially the flat “side view” from the pinky up to the ankle….there is NO question….
i am my dads daughter 
Now, lets talk hands. Again, same nail beds, short squatty thumbs and no nails (dad bc he is a doctor and was used to
keeping short, clean nails and me, bc I am a chef and once I start to see the “whites” I chop them off immediately!) but
the “ring dinger” (pun intended) is on one of our ring fingers. Dad used to always wear his big IU class ring. Whenever he
took it off it made me laugh because it was never a true circle. It always had an offset bend down in one spot. I had this
one ring I wore all through high school….but I would take it off once in awhile & it would have the SAME EXACT bend. I
would often have him take his ring off and put it next to mine & it was so funny to see the “mini me” represented in metal.
Roberto’s COUNTDOWN CALENDAR
When we were little, spring break was a big big deal. We would make a calendar to hang on the front of the refrigerator
when there was a month to go before it was time to get on a plane to Florida sunshine.
Every night around dinner we would mark off another day on the calendar & we would get one step closer to the smiley
face “sunshine sticker” that would be on the last day. It was so great to mark off a day with a huge marker and make
that “X” ---- it felt like such a sense of accomplishment. I made a similar calendar for my dad in hopes that we would feel
better each time he got through a treatment. Sadly, we only made 2 “x’s” and
we never got that “warm feeling” like we did when we were young.
Treatment 1
Treatment 2
Treatment 3
Treatment 4
Treatment 5
Treatment 6
Treatment 7
Treatment 8
ALL DONE! COMPLETE! FINSIHED! WOOHOO!
Nancy, thanks for the extensive but tragic message. Sandy and I cried as she read the message to our youngest daughter,
Lori, who you may remember met you and Bob when you were visiting briefly, and who received that wonderful letter
from Bob when you guys couldn't come to our 40th wedding anniversary party. She cried. Sandy and I have commented
numerous times how fortunately we were to have God keep us healthy enough to travel out to see you guys when we did
in light of what has occurred since. God is in control of your man now who has done so much for other people in his life.
God will give him peace now and welcome him into heaven when the time occurs. I must stop now, since tears are taking
over. God be with you and Bob and all your family. We love you, Sandy and Dick
I saved this text just because it will remind me how special it was that mom
and dad were ok with and chose to get his treatments up here in Indianapolis. Kevin and I both wanted this so that we
could be there to share the burden, help out in any way we could and, of course, comfort mom through this process in
case things didn’t turn out. One night after we went to bed, mom texted me this from down the hallway. She just had
some emails she wanted to share with me that she had gotten once she was in bed. She knew I was most likely still
awake and it was just so special to me to be able to get up out of my bed and go sit with her for a bit and talk. It’s those
small, simple things that matter the most sometimes. This was one of those moments that I will remember always.
Hello Shell, Just want you to know we are thinking about you and continue to pray for
your Dad and family. When Almighty God is with you, good things will happen in you, around
you and through you. Expect this to happen to you today. Take care, xoxoxo Sue
The Barnes came both Wednesday & Thursday afternoon and stayed through “cocktail time.” This was a weekly
occurrence down in Bloomington as they were some of mom & dads best friends. “Wine time” always started around
5:00 with some cheese & nuts coupled with lots of jokes & just catching up as friends do followed by dinner. We opened
this petite sirah which Ron and I both drank while my mom & Sheryl had white wine. My dad and Ron always loved the
red (as do I). It was a nice break for me since I had been only consuming white wine with mom during this whole process
just because it made it easier to share. Both Ron and I stated how much dad would have loved this particular wine and
we all toasted to “Bob.” I KNOW my dad held on an extra day just to hear some more of Ron’s jokes. Ron stated who
was going to laugh at his jokes from then on? I said I would gladly take my dad’s spot on laughing at his jokes since I,
too, inherited my dad’s crazy sense humor . I view it as a gift and will do my best to continue to carry on my dad’s
“Wylie humorous shenanigans” as one of dads colleagues at the hospital had stated they would miss.
This was our final moments as we left the hospice center after dad passed this morning at 2:40 am. It was
very calm & peaceful since the hustle of the day had not begun yet. There seemed to be no one else (besides
the staff) at this hour & it was nice to kind of have the place to “ourselves” walking down the hallway in
silence. The tree picture above the couch where we would always sit in the room had a lovely glow on it from
the tableside lamp that was left on. As we were leaving I snapped the pic of the fireside room that we would
always walk down to just for a break out of dad’s room. The fire was always on & it was so relaxing to sit next
to it and sip on coffee. This room was also where the kitchen was located (off to the left) where we spent
many-o-times fixing meals. Another special thing about this room was the people we came to know through
sharing it. There was this amazing young couple from Cuba who had been at hospice for some time. His wife,
28 years old, had stage 4 cancer. Him and his mom would be there every day for lunch and then back for
dinner and through the night. On the Saturday before my dad passed, the couple held a small wedding
ceremony in this room. They had just gotten married at a courthouse quickly some time ago and she always
wanted a wedding ceremony…..dress, cake, family, food & all. They had the chapel along with the fireside
room decorated with balloons and flowers and she was brought to this room in a wheelchair, full white dress
& hair done beautifully (by a hairdresser we also got to know and love who was very familiar with Woodys
restaurant thru her clientele). Every night we had the pleasure of being along side these amazing, sweet
people (most of whom didn’t speak English). It was just understood that EVERYONE knew & shared the same
sadness we were all enduring as we came together every night in this room, waiting for our loved ones to
pass. We silently connected to their hearts as they did to ours.
These 2 items we took from dad’s room as we were leaving this morning. We got the phone call from the night nurse,
Erin, to come as quickly as we could to the center but missed his passing by about 10 minutes. She was sitting in a chair
next to my dad as we entered and stated that he went very peacefully. We were so thankful it happened to be her as his
nurse this morning because she was Jodie’s favorite. Erin was dad’s nurse the first 2 nights that Jodes spent overnight
with dad. Jodie witnessed Erin’s special touch & kindness as she cared for him through the night (esp the baby powder
“bath”). The first night I had met Erin through the shift change….I had mentioned to her briefly that I hoped she would
have a more relaxing shift than the day nurse had had because dad had a very restless day along with the WWII vet
directly across the hallway doing the same. She quickly left to go to the head nurse/doctor station & came back down
to dads room with an American flag in her hand to tape on dads entry door to his room. I saw that the WWII vet had one
on his room and just thought his family must have put it there but Erin stated, “no, we honor all vets here.” I’m so glad
she was looking over dad as he passed this morning. She was his angel of comfort by his side.
My dear Robert passed this morning at 2:40.
Many caring nurses tenderly cared for him at the hospice house since last Wednesday,
the 18th of February. Yesterday Richelle and I spent the day with him looking at picture boxes of
memories. The pastoral care minister and our good friends Sheryl and Ron Barnes all reminisced for
several hours. A little before 5 o'clock, Richelle poured us all a glass of wine and we toasted Roberts
life. Ron told Robert that the petite sirah was particularly good.
We have been best friends for over 16 years and we would do the wine time together several times a
week. When we went home last night, Richelle and I felt at peace and both voiced
that all was settled and although very sad, we felt we could let him go now.
We are so thankful for the extra time that he spent with us.
What a great husband, father, friend and doctor he was.
We will miss him.
Sent from my iPhone "the great G-Nan"
Hi Nancy, You and your family have my dearest sympathy. I thought a lot of Dr. Wylie. He was really good to us here. He
always stopped in my office to chat before his med student sessions. Dr. Tieman, Pam, and I would occasionally go to
lunch with him. He always wanted to thank us for our support. When he found out my husband served in Vietnam, he
always wanted to meet with him sometime and talk about their experiences. I’m so thankful that he is at peace now. Did
Mickey Douglas ever get in touch with him? I just realized this morning that we still have his lab coat hanging here with his
name badge and stethoscope. It brought tears to my eyes. I let the media people know about his passing as he was always
eating lunch with them at our conferences. Occasionally, Tim and Dr. Wylie would eat out at Kenny’s Tavern. Tim tells me
that he loved those tenderloins. We will all miss him. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. God bless
you! Patty Booker
We would like to express our deepest sympathies to you and your family on Bob's passing. He was a great doctor, friend
and sport's advocate. He deliver two of our children and was great to our family when we had health issues. He was a
great team doctor for Portage and I enjoyed softball games together. He will be miss! A great man!
Thank you for sharing him! Bob and Josie Mattix
I'm so sorry and so sad. What a great man and what a great friend. So many happy memories that I will always keep close.
My deep condolences Nancy to you and the girls and your entire family. He will be truly missed. RIP Bob. Peace and Love
Jimmy C
Thought I would pass this on to you from Google Groups (did not think ANYBODY used that group any more!!!). I
have no idea who Dick Walker might be - but Eva Mae's note certainly goes to show the high regard for Bob that
many who knew him had. Tiiu
So sorry to read this.He was so kind to Dick Walker when they were in combat. Super guy!!
Eva Mae
Dear Nancy, I wanted to let you know how very much I appreciated your e-mail notes and letters about Bob! Karen Sims
Foster did the same sort of thing during David's final months. In both cases I was really, really concerned (and wanting to
know), but not close enough to make a telephone call and force whoever answered to go through the same treatment
history, etc. all over again. Bob and I were in the same home room when I started at U-School in 7th grade. We had just
moved from Washington State, after immigrating to the US two years earlier. I knew NO ONE, and I think the "bright kids"
had mostly been put in the band & orchestra home room. In addition to Bob and myself, Rusty Cleland, George Dunn,
and Linda Zoerner were in that home room also (Linda's family had to pay tuition for her to attend U-School - they lived in
a lovely country home, almost in Ellettsville). Bob could be a very aggravating tease, but he was basically a very kind
person who sized up my situation quickly and definitely made me feel welcome. Our best wishes to you and all your
family! Tiiu
Nancy...one of many fond, golden memories. As you know Bob just absolutely LOVED these trips as we all did. Left to
right: me, George Dunn, Bob, Doug Rae, Roger Cuffey, Dick McFall, and Tom Weir crouched in front. This is the eastern
shore of Lake Michigan, and Prof. Cuffey was explaining the geology to us. Weiser
2008 Michigan Trip: Weiser, Dunn, Wylie, Weir, Rae, Cuffey, McFall
Nan, Sorry to hear of the expected passing of Robert. Appreciate you keeping us informed. The end of his
problems do bring peace to him as well as to you and the family. We do ask God to be with you and family
during this time. Arch & June
Dear Nancy, My heart is so saddened for you & your family at the great loss of Bob. I know the heart ache you are feeling
& how your life will be changed. Bob was always a great ray of light to me & always treated me so kindly. I felt special to
be his & your friend & always enjoyed the times we shared & how generous he always was to me. You have let me be a
part of some special times & they have meant so much to me & I will always treasure his friendship. Now my attention is
on you & your family. May the great God of love shelter all of you & hold you in the palm of His hands as you deal with
the days ahead. You are all in my prayers. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you. I did let church know
of Bob's passing & hope that is okay with you as they care deeply for you & your sorrow. God bless you all, Phyl
Absolutely nothing left to say. We are so very sorry for not only your loss, but ours as well. We do treasure wonderful
memories of many happy times. You and he are loved, and you are all in our prayers.
So sorry to hear about the passing of Doctor. Went to bed last night thinking and praying for him and also when I
awoke. He will be missed by so many people because he touched many of our lives. He was always so good to me being
my boss. Because we planned to be home the end of April I will not be attending his service. However Nancy I would like
to talk with you and or see you on our return. I will continue to pray for you and your family at this time and pray the Lord
to give you all the strength to go through this sad time. With love to you Elona
I'm very sorry to hear this Mrs. Wylie - it's a very sad day. Dr. Wylie was someone I really loved and will miss him very
much. It'll be hard to watch the Hoosiers and not think of him. I know he and my Dad are in heaven now grabbing
cocktails this evening and catching up! Please pass my condolences on to the rest of the Wylie family and let me know as
you guys get arrangements solidified. Is there anything I can do to help? I'm happy to make calls if you need anything.
Scott
My condolences to you and your family. Thank you for sharing that bitter sweet ending with me and I'm so relieved to
hear that Bob was a peace, surrounded by the people who loved him. I'll be sure to toast him with my next glass of
wine. He was a wonderful man and I feel fortunate to have worked with him during my time at IU. His dedication to the
service of others was certainly inspiring.
I am crying as I read your time with him during this final phase of his life. The tears are both in sorrow as he will be so
missed , but also in joy for him as he has been released from his broken body to the joy of his being wrapped in the
embrace of his heavenly Father. I so wish I could be there to give you a big hug, but I will have to send it to you from
here. What a joyful memory I have of your 50th. That is such a gift from Bob and you. I also will cherish the many I.U.
times Sam and I and Bob and you shared. God Bless you and hold you close, Nancy, this coming week. Love you
"Bunser" as Bob nicknamed me.
I am sorry he is gone, but glad he, and you, are at peace. I'm glad I got to see you, too. Bob was truly a great man and
touched so many lives. His ripples will go on for years and his life was one of purpose. No one can ask for more than
that. Wishing you peace and fond memories to get you through the sadness. Lori
When looking for an urn for my dad…..well, it was tough. Most were too
foofy and none seamed to work. I bent way down and kind of beneath all others in the bottom left
corner was this. I picked it up and it was HEAVY!!! I Iimmediately looked at it and thought to
myself….”it looks like a bullet” which is one of my dads nicknames. PLUS he LOVED metal. We have
metal sculptures all over the house from art shows over the years that he had to have. This was the
perfect fit. No frills, sturdy, strong & awesome……just like my dad. He will rest along side his mom,
dad, older brother & sister Sharon in Rose Hill cemetery in Bloomington. We are planning a military
type service with live TAPS playing and all. Following that, we will have a family dinner at the
American Legion as my parents did regularly on Friday night to honor him.
.
I was looking up what the sermon theme
was for this Sunday since Jodes, mom & I were going to go to church together…this is what God had in store for
us (mom) to hear
Nancy...my mind is sadly flooded with thoughts of Bob and I as we grew from 2nd graders, playing Indians, high sch
sports, through our recent '57 guy trips. He loved his class of 57 and your lovingly descriptive messages to us all during his
last days and hours were heartbreakingly special. Very few people can keep and maintain friendships all through their
lives as Bob and I did. I count myself lucky to have been his buddy. I am deeply saddened with a great sense of loss. My
heart goes out to you and your family at this time. I hope you find peace and comfort in the coming weeks and
months....Tom '57
Dear Nancy, Will called us today and told us about Robert's passing. Ron and I are so
saddened. Please let us know about any arrangements. I am at a loss for words. Love, Sue
Nancy -- My deepest sympathies on your loss of Bob, whom I and all regarded as a truly great human being, and whose presence we
will miss greatly. Words now are really inadequate, but I do hope you will find some lasting comfort in memories of a long life
together. With all best wishes --- Roger
Dear Nancy, John and I are deeply saddened by Bob’s passing and don’t really know what to say to you
beyond our sincere condolences. We did not visit Bob near the end because we wanted to remember him
as he was at your 50th wedding anniversary celebration. Bob was such a cool guy. Besides being a great
doctor he always had a clever comment, story or joke to tell. He was also a super boss. I have many fond
memories of being a phlebotomist in Bob's office. We will always appreciate the kind and gracious way
you and Bob included us in the family gatherings. I know you will miss him and so will we. Love,
Judy and John
Nancy, It will seem a vacuum to confront the prospect of a Class of ’57 (or IUMC Class of ’65) without Bob right in the
midst; our most recent recollection was a glass of wine on your porch with the Cofields. My Nancy and I extend our deep
condolences to you and your family. Let’s be assured that his memory will carry you through the heavy but brightening
times ahead. Jim and Nancy Terman
Nan and Family, I can't find the words to let you know how I feel, but I'm sure you know. You have been such a lovely part
of my life. Bob was amazing for so many reasons. He and John loved each other and I have those memories. Thank you for
including me in your 50th anniversary party because those memories of Bob greeting us at the door with his great smile is
what I will hold dear. Lots of love to all, "Ramondi" as Bob insisted on calling me
Dear Nancy, Our prayers are with you and your family in this most difficult period. We offer our
deepest sympathies to you. Bob indeed was a great person and I am very fortunate to have known
him, going back to our boy scout days in 1948. Bill Seng
Nancy, Sandy and I were deeply saddened by your message. It was so good that you all could be with him his final day,
particularly Ron and Sheryl. You are absolutely right. Bob was a great husband, father, friend and doctor. God has taken
him home where he can be completely at peace. And yes, we will all miss him. We hope you will keep in touch from time
to time. We so enjoyed our visit with you and Bob this past Fall. God be with you. Love, Dick and Sandy
It is with a heavy heart that I remember Bob. He so loved his family, church & anything (school, university, high school) in
Indiana. David and he had that in common. I am glad u had a good team of Doctors & medical staff, family & Christian
support . Of course,his classmates will miss him! I will always remember the high school photo of him & Dick hamming it
up at a school dance. I admired his work in Vietnam & will remember his stories. May GOD bless you with good memories.
Karen
To all Nancy especially, Mary Lee and I were just talking this morning about Bob and Nancy and what fun it has been the
last few years having so many classmates back here and reconnecting. Bob was one of the BIG buddies of our
class. Never heard anyone mention him other than in a respectful way even as a kid. Nancy we are so profoundly sorry
for your loss. Your own family had become so dear to Bob that he often mentioned his enjoyment having them as his
family. Mary Lee had new knees installed this week by Dr Surdamm. While talking with him I told him of Bob and he said
that he had been so very impressed by Dr Wylie. He expressed great sadness. All of us are reaching deeper into our
hearts tonight with thankfulness for Bob as we call on God. Norm
What a loss to all of us. No one had greater love for everyone in the class of '57 than Bob Wylie. So many good
memories. Steve Weiser
What sad news. We knew it was coming, but that doesn’t make it any easier to accept. We all will remember Bob as a
great friend over many, many years. Our thoughts go out to Nancy and the family.
Coincidentally, today’s newspaper had the attached obituary for Tommy Deckard, Jeannie Peterson Deckard’s
husband. Tommy had become an adopted member of our class, as he came to many of our events. Our thoughts are
with Jeannie and family. Dick
Dear Nancy, This morning I had a few moments alone at work and was praying the Sorrowful
Mysteries for you and Bob. When I got to the last scripture passage I could not go on. All I could
think about was how your Bob and mine were so connected during that praying. I will never forget it.
Here is the gospel passage: When the centurion who stood facing him saw how he breathed his last
he said, "Truly this was the Son of God!" (Mark 15: 39) I knew right there that your Robert was now a
son of God. What a blessing it is that you had him for so many years. How special for us that Bob
and I were able to know and love him as a friend. My deepest condolences. Karen
Marilyn and I have a tear in our eye but joy in our hearts that Bob has found peace at last. Warning to the
Angles - you better get used to Cream & Crimson.Mummey
Nancy, You have made many difficult decisions recently. You have done this with the advice of your physicians and total
consideration of Bob and everybody concerned. There are times that comfort is much more important than miserable
longevity. Bless you and may Bob be comfortable in the arms of the lord.
Arch & June
Your email was what I needed to hear today. He was definitely in miserable longevity. Horrible. He is more comfortable
now. Sometimes he is reliving Vietnam trauma and sometimes talking now things and sometimes --we have no clue. C.O.
His med school buddy came this morning right when he needed help with the wounded and CO was able to talk medical
talk and I think that calmed him because he felt like help had arrived to deal with all the wounded. Thanks. Sent from my
iPhone "the great G-Nan"
Dear Ms. Nancy ~~
Please forgive that I am using your first name without ever having met you personally. But know that I commanded
the other surgical team at the 93rd Evac Hosp in Long Binh and I heard many wonderful comments about you before
our unit was transferred up to I Corp with the marines who were in big trouble. Bob had been at Long Binh before my
team arrived and helped us enormously get settled and managed many anesthetics for our wounded GI's before we went
north. His straight forward questions and incisive comments were always pertinent and his humor kept us all in good
spirits, especially when we needed it in tough times.
I wish we had the chance to know each other and I was, in fact, on the verge of arranging a trip to see Bob, having
gotten the terrible news from his team commander, Dick Monroe, after returning home from a two week trip to Colorado.
Dick and I have stayed in touch since 1967, but only recently did I know Bob's email and renewed our
contacts. Regardless, please accept my blessings to both Bob and you as well as the rest of your family. Indeed, if The
Lord is just, Bob is now in HIS hands and care, surely deserving Heaven more than most of the creatures on this
Earth. My prayers go with him and you in our sorrow. Most sincerely, Larry Hill (J. Laurance Hill, MD)
Dear All,
It's been very precious to feel included in the last of Bob's journey here on earth and to know that he was so
lovingly cared for by his nurses, as well as to hear how you spent last night with him, Nancy.
There just aren't adequate words to express the sense of loss and appreciation for Bob, but I'm guessing you are
hearing and will be supported by what he meant to so very many of us!
Marcia
Hi Richelle, I am so sorry to hear of your dad's passing. What a wonderful man that I am so blessed to have known! If I
couldn't have had my own dad as my dad, I would have wanted yours! I've been thinking about you all non-stop Please
give your mom a big hug from me. Please let me know if there is anything I can do. I love you! xoxoxoxo! - Laura
Dr. Wiley was a wonderful person let along a super physician. During my time in Hobart-my hometown I was able to get
to know Bob as a friend and doctor. He always encouraged me to go back into coaching which I did for 20 years in North
Carolina. he did so much for so many people-rest in peace Bob.
Nancy, I am so sorry, for the both of us. My greatest fear has come to pass. Bob's passing was eminent because
of his physical turmoils. It also severed a link I had with a great man. He was a success as a Doctor, the depth of
which will never really be known. He was a success as a husband and father. The proof is in the faces of his
family. He was also a success as a friend. A link that is now broken but not forgotten. I knew him when he was
a kid and also a man. In my mind I classified him as a Great Man and I will always remember him that way.
Respectfully...............
My deepest sympathies to your entire family. Great guy and one that I respected greatly!!
Tom Workman
NANCY, MAY HE REST IN PEACE AND I'M SURE HE IS WITH THE LORD IN HEAVEN. HE WAS A
GREAT FRIEND AND WE WILL MISS HIM. MAY THE LORD BE WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY
TO GIVE YOU STRENGTH AND COURAGE TO CONTINUE ON. I KNOW ALL THE BRICKIE
PLAYERS AND COACHES WHO BOB WAS ASSOCIATED WITH WILL MISS HIM. HE DID SO
MUCH TO HELP THE PROGRAM. WE HAD SOME GREAT TIMES TOGETHER AFTER SOME OF
THE BRICKIE GAMES. LOVE, TOM ANND MARYANN
Bloomington All-Stars to celebrate its run at Little League World Series
By Rex Kirts331-4356 | [email protected] October 16, 2006
The 1952 Bloomington Little League All-Stars came within one win of going to the Little League World Series.
Pictured are (bottom row, left to right) Terry Ryser, Gene Park, Ron Hutcherson, Bill Rice, Alan Fox, Dave Rich,
Bill Lake and Ron Brinegar. (Top row, left to right) Coach Amos Hayes, Steve Parrish, Bob Wylie, Gary Hill, Joe
Horstman, Chris Jung, Dave Martin and Coach James Mahler. Courtesy photo
The memories are for life. In 1952, Bloomington�s first-ever Little League baseball league of four
teams produced an all-star team that came within one game of going all the way to the World Series at
Williamsport, Pa. At least 12 of those 14 players, and coach Amos Hayes, are still alive. And they �ll
relive the memories of that era in a Bloomington reunion Friday and Saturday night. Six of the players on
that ball club still live in Monroe County. They are Gary Hill, Dave Rich, Dave Martin, Ron Brinegar, Bob
Wylie and Billy Rice. Steve Parrish is in Ocala, Fla., Ron Hutcherson in Warsaw, Terry Ryser in
Naperville, Ill. Joe Horstman in Lafayette, Gene Parks in New Berlin, Wis., and Bill Lake in Kirksville, Mo.
The other players were Chris Jung, who is deceased, and Alan Fox, who could not be located. They will
reunite for a weekend, beginning Friday night at Nick�s English Hut. The following night they�ll gather at
Chapman�s Restaurant. Those were different times for youth sports. Baseball was by far the most
popular of all activities, along with basketball. There wasn�t much more to occupy a young man�s time
except maybe riding a bicycle, playing kick-the-can, playing pool at the YMCA and seeing a cowboy
doubleheader at the theater. Parrish, who became one of the best golfers in town and wrote a golf column
for the H-T, has lived in Ocala for several years. He penned a story about that Little League team, and
I�m passing some of it along. Parrish wrote: �In 1952 the Boys of Summer in Bloomington were firstyear Little Leaguers, and the Field of Dreams was at Bryan Park with its dirt playing field with 4-foot high
red snow fence. The diamond was maintained by a smiling, leather-skinned little man, Louie Waltzman,
who considered this job his pride and joy. �Little League was a dream come true for 60 boys and
countless volunteers. �The all-stars won three tournament games and lost in the Midwest finals. �It was
a fun summer that brought the community, families and friends together. The Players on that all-star team
and manager Amos Hayes will cherish those 1952 memories as long as they live.� Parrish said 10 of the
players played various sports after high school and became salesmen, coaches, teachers, a fireman, a
doctor and business owners. The four teams that year were sponsored by Rotary, Kiwanis, Jaycees and
University Chevrolet. Some of the individuals who started the program were E.B. Duane, Maurice (Red)
Latimer, Ben Parrish and H.D. McAdams, Bob Kraak, Jack Myers, Noble Bush, Marvin Groh, Walter Gray,
Ernie Andres, George Bolinger, Chuck McConville and Danny Hunsaker. Bolinger and Latimer
represented the media. Bolinger was sports editor of the H-T and Latimer a sports announcer for the radio
station. From 1952 to 2006, that�s 54 years of catching up the Boys of Summer will relive in two days.
I'm so, so sorry that he is gone. I wish I could be there to give you lots and lots of hugs. He will be sorely missed. Knowing
your dad, he loved life and he loved the people even more in his life. What an extraordinary journey he had. I feel honored
just to have known him for a small part of this journey. Please give my love to your mom. Love you so much, Richelle
FURNO
Here is the bottle that we shared with some
of dads closest friends on his last night here on earth. He would have loved this red wine. I will now put
this and keep it along with all of the special “keepsake” bottles I have shared with MY friends over the
years that commemorated some sort of memorable occasion. I have a unique wine bottle “tree” in my
dining room right next to the table and under a window. I, too, share my dads’ love for good red wine
and I will toast to him always wherever I am (if even quietly to myself) each time I raise a glass in honor
of him. I love that guy.
All, Especially Nancy: What a sad day indeed. I remember Bob most vividly as a youthful athlete. He had much better
than average ability, and vastly more than that in heart and courage. He was also a generous team-spirited leader. In
UHS baseball, one of his 3 excellent sports and my sole varsity letter, he helped bring along marginal guys like me. I also
remember him as a fullback who could run through tacklers, like a truck. In Nancy’s wonderful letter from earlier in the
week we hear of his 'suturing in the air’— reliving the US field hospital five decades later. His patriotic service in Vietnam
should make each of us proud and grateful.I was very moved by all of Nancy’s letter. It could have been written only by
Bob's loving wife. Is a memorial service or something of the sort planned? If at all possible, I’d come back for one. As
Ever, In Sadness, Doug PS: Thank you Steve for looping us in.
Brickie 31,
Thank you for sending Doc Wiley’s obit. I had no idea his loving medical, financial and military contributions
were anywhere near as widespread as they were. He was not just a Brickie and Hoosier Superstar Performer,
but truly an American Patriot !!!! RIP DOCTOR WYLIE Bob Kuechenberg
Dear, dear Nancy . . . In going through the last few days of unread newspapers and such I just came upon the sad news of
Bob's passing. How quickly the time came between when we received your detailed email on Bob's condition and
now. Though it is a blessing his time came quickly for all of you, I know this must be extremely difficult to bear for you
and your family. Please know we are keeping all of you in our prayers. If I can ever be a shoulder for you, or anything else
for that matter, please let me know. Though we hadn't known each other for all that long, we have always enjoyed the
times we did spend together and will always cherish that grately. You are a beautiful strong woman, Nancy and I know
the Lord will take care of you. Meanwhile, when you do get back down to Bloomington again, maybe we can get together
with Ron and Cheryl and raise our glasses in remembrance of our dear friend Bob. With sadness in our hearts, we remain
your friends, Linda & Mel
Dear Dick and Classmates, I was stunned to read the obituary sent to me this morning via email. Every time we lose a
classmate and friend it is difficult. In this case, I feel we have lost the "glue" that held our class together for so many years.
His family and friends (and classmates) will be in my thoughts and prayers. Barbara Cresson Depp
It will be a celebration of a life of such a special person who was devoted to both his family and his profession and his
friends. Generous with his time, money and caring ways. I am sure Our Lord embraced him and welcomed him
"home". Our comfort is knowing we will all be together one day. But right now I know how broken your heart is and I am
so sorry for that. In time--- broken hearts mend. My love to you and your family. I continue to pray for all of you. Bunny
“SIGNS” FROM DAD…
During the last “cocktail time” with Barnes at hospice, we were all talking about how nice it would be if
somehow our passed loved ones could send a “sign” of some sort to let us know they were in heaven and that
they were all ok. Sheryl Barnes mentioned how she knew her mom left her a shiny penny on the beach. It was
then mentioned that finding coins was kind of a known “thing” that has been documented by many. I joked and
said, “well, that isn’t dad & that wouldn’t mean anything to us.” It went further and mom chimed in & we both
agreed it would have to be a toothpick because dad was always leaving toothpicks everywhere he went (and I
was always annoyed stating I was worried about my dogs finding them on the floor and choking on them so I
went as far as to buy my dad a “toothpick fred” special holder for him as a gift one year so he could properly
store his picks). Well, that next am dad passed at 2:40. Mom, Kev and I got home and back into bed around
4:00am. When mom woke up and got out of bed she did her normal “routine” of getting coffee & fruit and
coming back to her bedroom. On her way back into bed she saw a toothpick on the floor and for a moment was
shocked, but then quickly remembered she had had one the night before and had set it on the base of the lamp
on the bedside table. She figured it had fallen and so she picked it up to place it back on the base of the lamp
and her toothpick was already there!!!! SOOOOO….we believe somehow, someway dad left us a sign that we
had JUST talked about the night before and he was letting us know he was A-OK. 
Tonight the Barnes came over for wine & then we went to Malibu Grill for dinner. Jodie had left earlier in the
day to head back to Chicago so it was just mom and me. Ron drove to the restaurant with mom & I sitting in the
backseat. I had mentioned I liked the new car and that I had only been in their red Cadillac...they made a funny
joke stating that car was a “mailbox monster.” Ron dropped us off at the door to the restaurant and we had a
good time toasting to dad & enjoying the meal. He insisted on paying for our dinner when the bill came & said
that if tables were turned and Robert was sitting in his seat he would have done the same thing. When dropping
us off back at home he pulled in to the left of the driveway because he had shoveled earlier on the right side so
it wouldn’t be a slippery for mom and I to get into the car. Since he did that I had to scoot across the back seat
and follow mom out of the vehicle bc there was no room to get out on my left. The car light was on and when I
looked down I saw something on the floor. I picked it up thinking mom had dropped something but when I
lifted it up I realized that it was an old IU ticket (we were JUST talking about getting home from dinner to
watch the IU vs. IOWA bb game on tv). I handed it Ron and asked if it was his and he didn’t remember the
ticket and looked also perplexed. It immediately hit me and I said…..that was a sign from my dad and he just
wanted to thank you for taking us out and treating us to dinner tonight. Once mom and I got into the house, we
definitely had an emotional dad “moment” & quickly called Ron to make sure he took a picture of the ticket to
send it to me for my journey letters. Of ALL the teams on the tickets it could have read….the ticket was
IU vs. Indianapolis…..a pre NCAA tournament game back in Nov of 2014. Just WOW.
“SIGNS” FROM DAD…continued
Last night my mom, Aunt Janet, Kevin and I met for dinner. We had just spent the day taking care of the
inevitable business of dealing with just a few of the overwhelming mountain of things to do after a loved one
passes. We needed to relax, we needed some comfort food & we needed some wine (just being honest here).
Over dinner we discussed other checklist items to take care of, we laughed over some great stories of dad & we
cried some tears over them as well. We shared with my Aunt the story of the “IU ticket in the back seat” that
only “dad” could have left for us as a “sign” from the previous night.
She was impressed & couldn’t believe the coincidence.
At the end of the meal 4 RED fortune cookies got placed in the center of the table. I made a comment on the
“crazy red” IU cookies……I mean, RED, not the “basic neutral cream” color?!?!?! C’mon!!! My Aunt & my
mom both grabbed theirs. Janet read hers first & it was nothing to write home about…it was one of the generic
“sayings” you get repeatedly over time when exposed to fortune cookies. My mom read hers next. She couldn’t
even complete reading it aloud before the tears came flowing. It read:
At this time, my husband had left the table to go use the restroom. It was then my turn to choose which fortune
cookie to grab out of the 2 left staring back at me on the table. I reached for one & ripped it open. After my
mom, I was “hoping” mine too, would seem like a small shout out from dad from up above.
Silly, I know, but…let’s remember….
#1: we just had a very long, hard day
#2: were in a mourning sort of mood
&
#3: we are not superstitious, but would just welcome any uplifting in that moment.
Mine read:
Now MY tears came. Over the course of dinner one of the “checklist to do’s was to finish the Journey Letters
book for my dad. It is a daunting task in and of itself not to mention having to complete it while struggling to
find mental/emotional/spiritual strength after the past 4+ weeks. Plus, ask ANY of my close friends…..the
thought of homework/tests/speeches/writing & any of the like and this point in my life is just unwelcoming.
My dad has, for quite some time now, always encouraged me to write some sort of book on cooking, being a
chef, restaurant stories or something of that nature. He thought I had a gift especially after he read my articles I
used to create for a small local newspaper a few years back. Kevin came back to the table & read his fortune
from the cookie that was left on the table. It pretty much resembled my Aunts…very general & it meant no big
deal if either my mom or I would have chosen it. But we didn’t. Those silly red fortune cookies chose US! 
I think both my mom & I slept a little better that night. We felt a sense in a small way of getting one of my
dad’s great hugs from “up above” in the form of an after dinner treat. What a great finish to our meal that night.
MAN OF MANY
HATS
MAN OF MANY HATS
SON: Robert Reed Wylie: BORN October 24, 1939
BROTHER: OF 4 CHILDREN (BUD, SHARON, BOB & BILL)
STUDENT: Indiana University, Bloomington Indiana
HUSBAND
CAPTAIN: VIET NAM ARMY BATTALION / MEDEVAC
DAD: OF JODIE & RICHELLE WYLIE
DOCTOR: “GP”
BROTHER IN LAW
IU “HOOSIER”
SPORTSMAN: (SOFTBALL) / BASEBALL+FOOTBAL (HIGHSCHOOL)
FRIEND
“G BOB”
FISHERMAN
UNCLE
TEAM DOC
FATHER IN-LAW
DOGGY DADDY
TEACHER: 1st & 2nd year med students
CONSULTANT: reviewed over 100 medical malpractice cases for numerous Indiana law firms
MEDIACAL DIRECTOR: General Motors
BOARD MEMBER: ISMA (Indaina State Medical Association) SPORTS MEDICINE
ADMINISTRATOR: Sebos Nursing Home
TEACHING
MOMENTS
TEACHING MOMENTS: (notes from my mom)
Robert’s last job was a teacher for 1st and 2nd year med students. He loved to cut out articles, medical jokes, etc.
And paste all onto a kind of newsletter for his students. He would also spend many hours the day before he
taught lining up interesting cases on the floors of the hospital. He always tried to find new ways to make it
interesting for them. His desire to teach began when he first opened his medical practice. He put a bulletin board
in the hallway leading to the waiting room. On that board he would tack interesting articles, jokes, etc. to educate
his patients and entertain. He eventually had to add more bulletin boards that nearly filled the whole wall as he
had so much he wanted to share.
One of our friend's son became a doctor – Joe Furlin (one of 6 kids). He said because of Roberts influence. Every
time one of the Furlin kids came in, dad would take the time & pull out one of his medical books to explain what
they, “the patient” had and how he was going to treat it…so they would have a better understanding of why they
were there & to make them more comfortable.
After retirement from medical practice, he started reviewing medical malpractice cases for various law firms. He
spent many more hours on the cases than he actually billed for. He really enjoyed the challenge of searching the
records to find ALL the clues in the case. He also enjoyed teaching the lawyers on the medical facts in the
case. He did over 100 cases & was even an expert witness.
Even before he was I'll, it used to bug him when people would call him MR. Wylie or address cards MR. when they
knew he was a doctor. He always told our daughters to inform their friends --if they made that mistake. He said
that it made them look less knowledgeable if they used the wrong term. He also made sure his daughters knew
to address other adults with titles appropriately (like Judge, etc.) So now in his illness, I think it was his last piece of
dignity that was taken away when someone called him MR. It happened many times in the hospital. When he was
being wheeled (strapped to his bed) because he had gotten hostile to others and because he pulled out his port
lines when they called him MR. -- I corrected them and said "please call him Robert or doctor but not MR. I think
the nurse took offense because at first she was very aloof, but after the 3 hour procedure of dialysis, I think she
got to know THE MAN. She said to him at the end "Dr. I need to put this mask on you so I can unhook the
lines." He started to cry. I whispered to the nurse that I think he cried because someone finally called him doctor
and gave him back his dignity. She hugged him and was so kind after that. So even in his darkest days, he is still
teaching!!
He has kept many articles and files on all things medical. He has always told me to make sure that those notes go
to some young doctor that would benefit. Since Robert is not of the current internet age, all that meticulous
record keeping is probably obsolete for the new doctors have better ways to get the facts now. Will ask the med
school if it can be of some use to possibly the library…
For years he carried around a small notebook in his white coat that he wrote all his "pearls of wisdom"
At the hospital, most of the doctors that checked on him had a senior medical student shadowing them. I think
these students got an education on how to respect and treat an aging doctor. One doctor in particular, a
cardiologist name Andrew Williams--how could we forget that name, had his student check on Robert several
times a day because I told him that a doctor in a white coat talking to him in medical terms seemed to calm him.
TEACHING MOMENTS: (notes from me)
So even as dad was in the state he was in….he still continued to teach
(Unbeknownst or not to him we will never know).
Just amazing.
What a guy.
That’s my dad.
Technique
One of the nurses and the tech aids had to untie dad’s restraints at one point to change him & the bedding. Both had
not done restraints since their schooling and had to go back in their minds to think about what they learned in class. The
tech was leaving the room (when I was thanking her for caring for my dad) and she actually thanks ME because she said
it was a great “refresher” for her and the nurse. She said they had to reach back to their school days & they both worked
it out & figured the situation by putting their minds together. NICE.
Respect
Dr. Andy Williams, dad’s heart doc in the hospital has been great. Always respectful, calling dad, “Dr. Wylie” and
cracking jokes like my dad has always done. Just brings a smile to your face when you see him…dad would have liked
him a lot. He happened to be down in dialysis when dad went. Unfortunately, mom had to be in there with dad at that
time (she got called in bc he was being combative…when normally no one from the “outside” is allowed into dialysis bc
people are so sick). He came over to mom along with a med student who was following him. Dad always “perks up” and
tends to calm down when a dr. takes time to stop & talk with him. He is respectful, listens & relaxes. Mom thanked Dr.
Williams & took him aside and let him know how much it means to dad when someone refers to him as DR and not MR.
that he worked hard for that title and that much, through this whole ugly process had been “taken away” from dad at
this point (dignity wise) and that what he had worked so hard for over all of these years….well, he could still hold on to
and IF those younger professionals around could comprehend that. That it might not mean too much to them right now,
but after so many years of “service” in their profession…they might just get it. They seemed to really take heed to what
mom said & then later on during dads dialysis another med student under Dr. Williams came over specifically to see dad
and say “Hi Dr. Wylie” ……you could tell Dr. Williams sent him over. The next day the Dr. came up to check on dad in his
room & stayed to help try to calm dad down (bc he was having a moment at that time..) he didn’t HAVE to stay…and
COULD have left it up to the nurses but after I reiterated how much dad, seeing a Dr. helped to calm him down….Dr.
Andy Williams stepped up to the plate. Teaching moment, accomplished. Way to go!
Patient Care
A 4th year med student learned the importance of patient interaction. Somehow he picked up on things we were saying
when in the room and I believe he was truly interested in my dad and understood/respected that my dad was a retired
physician. I know this because the head doctor along with 3 other students (he was one of 4) would come around once a
day to check on my dad. But, this gentleman…..not sure if he was on his lunch break or what, but would come up by
himself to visit & offer us medical explanations. He would stay and listen to us talk about dad for a while before he
left…he never seemed to be in a hurry or like he was “making rounds” or anything…..just came in one on one. He
wanted to KNOW the patient and took the time….just like my dad would have done. Good job sir, you get an “A.”
Honor
One of our employees at has made a very bad relationship decision as of late. This could be life changing down the road
and would affect a future relationship with their child. Both Kevin and I talked with this individual. Kevin played “bad
cop” & gave the “come to Jesus” talk explaining the consequences that would ensue if this employee were to continue
the nonsense. I played the “nicer cop” & took time yesterday from the hospital to double back to speak with this
individual. Amongst many things that I said to them was that they should want their child to remember them someday
the way that I looked up to MY dad. I showed them the “Journey Letters” that I had made for dad along with the pics of
the “many hats” that dad so admirably wore. I spoke truth into this individual, encouraged them but was strong & stern
in explaining that there are consequences in life. And that someday, maybe not now but at some point the child would
know this parent’s decisions in life and that they should think twice and should act in ways to make their child
proud…..to be loyal, respectful, work hard, do what’s right & be honorable. ALL of those qualities my dad carries & then
some. I hope that even from afar my dad can teach this person how to be a role model to their child.
Control
Ok, this was is a doozie. The Big “C.” We all want it. We all try to have it or get it. I mentioned this earlier in the
documentary some pages back but let’s refresh our memories of this very profound statement. A “snippet” sourced
from one of pastor Doug Kaiser’s favorite books; here it goes….ready????
We are NOT in control, things are NEVER out of control AND GOD is IN control.
Read that again.
We are NOT in control, things are NEVER out of control AND GOD is IN control.
Though dad’s “teaching moments” touched many medical people on this journey it also TRULY & DIRECTLY affected
those immediately involved.
1. My mom, Nancy: to relinquish control & giving of her husband’s care over to the professionals (drs/nurses/etc.)
Witnessing the power of prayer & the control it took over of Christ’s body, the church. How MANY people
outside even “dads circle” & how far it stretched caring about him & lifting him up to the Lord. Internal strength
& reaping the fruits of such good friends over the years. The difficulty of “letting go” of & “zoning in” on all of
the little things & trying to keep the “big picture” in mind. Whew…that’s a toughie.
2. My husband, Kevin: You can’t fix everything…keep trying to take the wheel & get control, but yet, it is NOT in
OUR hands. Sometimes you just cannot avoid the crash on the track. Eventually one hits a wall & must step out
of the vehicle. I believe this was a final heroic attempt to try to reach MY dad since he didn’t get the chance with
HIS real dad bf he passed so quickly. He gave it all he could, but God was in this driver seat. And that is a tough
thing for a race car fan to come to terms with.
3. Me, myself & I, Richelle: Work is not priority. What?!?!? Like mom always said…give your “children” roots BUT
wings to grow….train them well & let them shine….let them do their job & take the lead. Letting go of what you
have always done & seeing if they can do it on their own. Wow, that’s a rough thing to digest. I may not have
biological children of my own, but it is still hard, nonetheless to feel “not so needed” by your “employee kids.”
Yet, on the other hand…. “retiring” isn’t so bad after all…wow, there IS more to life than work!!!!!!! He is still my
dad, telling me what’s best.
4. My dad, himself: Last but not least. My father…the provider, the protector, the teacher & the doctor…was, for
the first time in a long time NOT in charge of the situation he found himself in. He had to give up driving. He had
to give up teaching. He, for the most part, gave up his fun….socializing, emailing, researching, drinking red wine,
eating out & reading. He had to give up practicing medicine & become the patient. He had to give up his
strength to even sit up & get out of bed. He had to surrender all. Isn’t THAT the hardest pill to swallow!?!?! But
he did it….and that is all that matters.
Decision Making
Good or bad, there ARE consequences. Dad made a lot of very difficult decisions that none of us can even
fathom both as a Dr. & in Viet Nam. He spent countless hours researching for his practice, law cases & for his
students so that he could make informed decisions. A social worker at the hospice came to talk to us. She shared
a story of her mom who had passed at the hospice. Her mom was a nurse (and in her words “she was a fiery”
one at that). She said her mom went down fighting all of the way. We laughed because dad was the same to a
degree. We all agreed that the saying was so true…”doctors and nurses make the worst patients.” But she also
said something so profound. She said that she had to learn that it was her MOM’s life and it was her MOMS
death. It wasn’t the daughters nor was it our decision as to HOW this was all going to go down. I just sat there
dumfounded because that truth hit hard. It wasn’t OUR decision…..it was DADS. No matter how much we didn’t
like it…..it wasn’t ours to decide. It was between dad and God and we just had to deal with it. Those are the hard
facts. That’s life. My dad taught me that EONS ago. That crap happens, life isn’t always pretty & you just have to
keep moving forward. “Man up” and do what’s right even though it is ”hard” or it “sucks big time.” Too
bad….there is worse out there to deal with. Press on. You are ok.
“Pearls of Wisdom”
One of my dad’s great gifts is to tie a situation to an acronym to help remember it. That helped him get through
medical school….memorizing all of that technical stuff was difficult, but had to be done. Coming up with crazy
abbreviations to help retain a bunch of info was just a fun way to help retain it.
Such as this:
Remembering cranial nerve names in order of CN I through to CN XII:
On old Olympus' towering top a Fin and German viewed some hops.
Ooh, ooh, ooh to touch and feel very good velvet. Such heaven!
A funny side note was that he did this in every day life….NON medical stuff even….and it was just funny. He
would always abbreviate something that maybe was in a story that was being told, if driving around & saw
something he wanted to remember or he would even do it to a simple phrase like if I said, “that was pretty darn
amazing.” He might banter right back and say that was sooooo “PDA.”  You get the gist.
One day, my dad used a phrase with the nurse in the hospital when she was trying to get him to take a gazillion
different medicines. Which he HATED doing anyway, but this day in particular he was putting up a good fight.
Now mind you, he was not “all together” mentally “all of the time” BUT he WOULD have moments of clarity. So,
he said strongly to the nurse, “you don’t give all those medicines to someone who is “DOA!!” at this point he
kind of made a motion to her like he was going to swat away all of the vials she had awaiting him. I think he
knew something we didn’t & was trying to make the BEST decision right then & there…….the funnier thing about
it was that the doctor who happened to be in the room at the time didn’t KNOW what DOA meant. She just
looked confused and said aloud, in question tone, DOA??? The nurse had to EXPLAIN to the doctor that it meant
“Dead on Arrival” (he may have been having a Viet Nam flashback for a second there…who knows) but either
way it was a crazy teaching moment for sure for EVERYONE involved!
BEST OF
BTOWN
BEST OF B-TOWN
My dad was born and raised in Bloomington, Indiana. We were all very proud to say so & inform people who did not
know that factual nugget of information. I have even secretly told some folks that I “feel” like I am from there too just
because I have been visiting there since I was a little girl, went to college there, opened a restaurant there (& lived for 5
years outside of school) & have been visiting my parents from my Greenwood/Indianapolis & Carmel homes for the past
20 years. I know this town better than the one I grew up in…..and it has a permanent spot in my heart. Sooooo….I, too
love this special place….and because of my dad, I love it even more.
Since I was in first grade I can remember driving down for IU games. We hardly ever missed both home basketball
and/or football games. I recall leaving after Friday night Hobart football games when we were very young. My mom
would get us ready for bed & in our PJ’s as we would wait for dad to get done with the game before making the long
trek down I-65 in the middle of the night. My sister and I would both curl up with our blankets & sleep in the wheel wells
of the big ole Park Avenue Buick my dad used to drive (in which he had like 6 or so of in various colors over the years).
We would sometimes stop for magical McDonald’s French fries & a coke on the way down. Those were the best fries
EVER because they would ALWAYS be soooo hot because they would have to fry them fresh that late at night. Other
times, when we would drive down during the daytime, I remember my sister & I giving dad head massages with a small
black comb while driving to “stimulate” him from the long monotonous drive. I reminisce how Jodie & I would have
mom & dad pop 8 track tapes into the player so her and I could sing and “harmonize” to Neil Sedaka tunes. We would
sometimes beg for my dad to go as fast as he could down the “big hill” when approaching the exit to turn off of route
37. Sometimes we would get them to stop the car on the side of the road so we could grab a piece of limestone that
would stick out so uniquely in layered patterns on both sides of the highway. I remember making signs, tooting the horn
& frantically waving/cheering when passing other cars with IU paraphernalia heading to the game. Those were the days.
I remember spending time visiting “Granddad” in both his apt by the mall and his apt where he still practiced dentistry
right off College Ave. We would have to sit there with nothing to do (no iphones or hand held games to play with back
then) while my dad and his dad talked & caught up on life stuff. We had to drink icky “yoohoo chocolate milk” out of a
can (ewwwww) & deal with stinky smoking from both “dads.” My mom would attempt to entertain us & we would sing
songs with lyrics I still remember to this day such as “put another nickel in” the “alpha chi sweetheart song” the classic
“I’m looking over a four leaf clover” and the favorite one for that moment specifically….”I wanna go home, I’m tired and
I wanna go to bed” song. AH, such things we had to endure…we had it sooooo rough! 
Of course, all of this passed and then we got to the fun stuff. Staying at hotels was just such a treat. We frequented the
Ramada Inn & The Union among a few others. We, of course, loved the fact that there was a swimming pool but even
better was the video arcade games. Throughout those years I perfected my skills at Pac Man, Donkey Kong &
Frogger….to just name a few. I also remember quite clearly (because they would tower over me) running into the other
team’s basketball players in the lobby. I would also relish the fact that sometimes we would get off of school because
the game schedule that week called for both a Thursday AND a Saturday game. Dad was going to take advantage of
those and get as much “Hoosier time” in as he could. It was a “two for one” trip. It was very exciting times back then.
Another great memory was staying at our Uncle Bill and Dana’s house. I remember coming in very late, sneaking in
through the garage and through Bills “man cave” up to the main floor and then up again to our rooms. Looking back now
that house was so great because the kitchen opened up into the family room area and I can recall just sitting around
talking in that space or outside on the deck. The best though, was playing Frisbee with Uncle Bill. He could do such tricks
that would make you just be in “awe.” We would stand on the street far away from each other and he would show us
how to throw different ways including the infamous “skipping it on the road” and/or under the leg pass. Soooo cool.
Now for the IU games themselves. Let’s start with football. The art and memories attached to “TAILGATING” itself alone
can be a whole other book…….but I will attempt to choose wisely the highlights. Let’s talk food first since that IS my
favorite subject. My mom had a knack for doing it right. She had just the right amount of snacks, a great “theme” of
sorts for the main deal & then finished it off perfectly with her infamous brownies or IU pinwheel almond cookies (the
ultimate). I recall buffets of chili, taco bars, assorted sandwiches & fried chicken to name a few. Side dishes of baked
beans, deviled eggs and the best of ALL time…her potato salad. My parents always provided whatever drink you could
possibly want. Pure cherished memories of food, huge wins, ugly losses, seeing old friends & meeting new friends. That
special parking space right next to the sidewalk at the bottom of the stairs going up the stadium…well, it was just
perfect. I remember, as a kid, getting to go down to the field and stand on the sidelines before the game started. When
it was freezing cold in the late fall games (and even snowing at times) my dad would take us down underneath the
stadium to watch the game on the screen TV’s and warm up with some hot chocolate. We thought we were soooooo
special! I know ALL of the words to the IU fight song because of him……most of my college friends can only chant the few
parts where you yell out: “fight fight fight and IU at the very end. And it’s such a fitting song for my dad…..special
meaning those lil words carry.
Indiana, Our Indiana,
Indiana, we're all for you!
We will fight for the cream and crimson,
For the glory of old IU
Never daunted, we cannot falter
In the battle, we're tried and true
Indiana, Our Indiana,
Indiana, we're all for you!
Now let’s discuss basketball. I have a bit more heart connection with these memories….I’m not sure if its because we
were inside out of the bad weather elements OR because Assembly Hall is just a magical place. But there was a time
during my youth where I had memorized all of the player’s numbers, names & even kept STATS! I was daddy’s lil girl for
SURE. And since we were not going home after the game, but instead, out to dinner or back to a hotel, we were never
in a hurry to leave & get stuck in the parking lot traffic. Because of this, it allowed for lots of extra time to run around the
ramps & race by the concession stands when all of the people cleared out. Looking back I am positive we made the
clean-up crew’s job way easier due to the fact of us scrambling to get as many plastic IU cups as we could find. We
would stack them up on top of each other and they would sometimes be taller than we were! Such SIMPLE fun.
In my last 2 years of college my parents ended up buying a condo for them to stay at when they came down for games.
Both my summer before my senior year and the summer after, I was able to live in them with my best friend Kady. This
allowed us to take some classes and to find summer jobs. I am so grateful for that opportunity because it allowed me to
fuel my passion for the industry I ended up choosing for my career. The summer at Gentry Quarters was the best. Not
only did it have a pool that my friend and I could relish every day after our hot summer workout walk, but it also allowed
me to meet a very special man. This neighbor of all neighbors was Ross. He lived alone there at Gentry after his wife had
passed and he was literally right next door to us. We would have him over for taco dinner (and beers) and he would
even stay sometimes to play some board games or cards. Even after my parents sold that condo he continued to be a
part of their lives helping my mom with meals on wheels & sharing war stories with my dad over bourbon on many
occasion. Later at the Winslow Farm condo, my friend and I were able to host dinner parties. I had done so when I lived
at home in high school, but having a home away from home really gave me a place to continue to stoke my “food fire.” I
I was able to get a job at Oliver Winery where I met the most amazing bosses & learned about the whole art of making
wine. Kady was able to work at a daycare center very close to the condo which helped build her resume of becoming a
teacher. It is a summer I will never forget & one that started me (and my friend) on our “life paths.” Priceless.
St. Remy Village is where my parents ended up living when they came back to retire in Bloomington. Many many
memories occurred here (about as much as Hobart held for 30 years) since my parents lived here since moving in 1995.
Top on the list was cocktail “wine time” on the screened in porch with nuts and cheese before heading out to dinner.
Dad always hanging out in his den (aka “man-cave”) while mom & I enjoyed some late night scotch listening to the loud
bull frogs down by the water…somewhat comforting once you got used to it. After all, mom & I had a very long, hard day
of shopping all of Bloomington! My dad, in his earlier years, also loved to fish out of the pond. He had his “command
central” of fishing supplies located in the furnace room not far from the sliding glass door leading out to the water.
Having my parents live here while I was figuring out my young adult life, opening Scholars Inn and working 15+ hour
days sometimes 6 days each week, well, SAVED me. They were always there for support, a warm meal or a shoulder to
cry on. They would be my biggest fan & would bring all of their friends to come in to eat at the restaurant. Many of MY
friends (including boys) got to meet my parents because they lived close & were such a huge part of my life. I was
blessed & my friends were blessed to get to know my parents well. I will ALWAYS treasure that.
Now is just a time to “shout out” & list some places that meant something to me in some way shape or form from over
the MANY years in B-town. Again, if I explained why….this would be nothing short of a novel….so a simple list &
recognition is how this must go down for space sake.
STORES:
Relish
TIS Bookstore
Bill and danas Greek store on Kirkwood
White rabbit gift shop
Elements
Rebecca & Me
EATERIES & BARS:
where my rule still stands…the best places in b-town ALL had wooden booths to sit in to eat (shown with an “*”)
Bombay Bicycle Club (now Red Lobster)
Cork-n-Clever
Mustard’s Burgers
Big Wheel & Denny’s
Garcias Pizza
Chinese Restaurant (with lazy susan: name???)
Chapmans (previously The Public House)
Uptown Cafe
*BW3’s
*Macris Deli
*Trojan Horse
*Irish Lion
Pizza express breadstix
*Mother bears pizza
*Lennies
Dagwoods
Jiffy Treat
American Legion
Malibu Grill
Positively Fourth Street
Puccini Italian restaurant
Scholars Inn & the bakehouse
Oliver Winery
Bluebird
Kilroys
*Nicks
Add ons because they were special favs of my dads:
Kenny’s (for fried tenderloin sandwiches in Elletsville)
Sweet Grass (for dinners with medical students)
Chocolate Mousse
This is one of the BEST places to live, I know it personally. My dad knew it too. Not only did it give him such great
memories but it did for me as well. I am blessed to have really known my dad’s “roots,” & have seen his special
places where HIS memories from his childhood were created (the house he grew up in, the back streets & short cuts
when driving, the beautiful limestone campus, his fraternity at FIJI)…so forth and so on. This is where he started his
journey and this is where he ended it. I am so lucky to have shared the journey here as well.
There is NO place like HOME: Bloomington, Indiana.
SHOUT OUTS
SHOUT OUTS
Of whom there are so many. It will be impossible to get everyone who had a hand in this journey all in. I apologize if you
do not, personally, get a “shout out” just know that WE (me, my mom, Kevin, Jodie, etc.) know who you are & you will
be forever in our hearts. So thank you.
I must first, give acknowledgement to my husband. Whom I love anyway, but through this process he has been a true
warrior. He has gone above and beyond in dealing with not only my dad but with the doctors, me and my mom as well.
Talk about broad shoulders……2 restaurants to run, city stuff AND now this…..amazing grace comes to mind. He would
always call the nurses station to get current updates on my dad when we were not there. He took charge when getting
info from the doctors and made sure procedures went through us first every time. He would always drop mom and I off
at the hospital door like a gentleman (bc we are in the dead middle of winter along with all of the stuff we had to carry
each and every time). At home, he shared his space (which is hard for men to do sometimes) and let mom and I relish
our “down time” together after a long day at the hospital. In the morning he would always make sure the car we took
was scraped off & warm, would trade out whatever car we didn’t take and put it safely in the garage to thaw for the day
while we were gone. He balanced his valuable time and would stay late with dad so someone would be there (when
mom and I just had to go home). He spoke to my dad often on the whole “God” angle and never gave up in reminding
dad how important that was. He also told my dad to not worry, and that he would always be there to protect and watch
out over “his girls.” Like my dad….Kev is the man I look at and ALSO say…”I love that guy.” He has taken dads
“Wylie words of wisdom” and has “taken no prisoners” on this whole journey…and for that I am most proud of him.
Right now, as I write this, I sit here across from my mom and my sister with my dad on the other side of the hospice
room. We have had family (Scott & Andy, Dana, Janet & Amy) stop by within the past couple of days. Janet (my Aunt &
moms older sister) gets soooo much credit as well for being there in this process with us. She has stayed with my mom
countless times at the hospital and I am ever so grateful for her being there to sit & spend time with both my mom and
my dad when Kevin and I just had to go to work. She had much insight and also had to relive some of the hard times she
endured with Uncle Alan. It is very hard to relate to something such as this UNLESS you have actually been through it
yourself….and it wasn’t easy for Janet, I am sure of that, but she has been a true source of love. She even cooked us
dinner & THAT ALONE gets major kudos! Sisters are so very special.
Speaking of sisters…..Jodes has been awesome the past couple of days. She came down from Chicago (having to balance
all of her kiddos schedules) and truly got to spend some quality time with dad. It was a true burden removed from our
shoulders knowing she was here through the night with dad. Kevin, mom and I have all taken our turns and one can only
do so much in that respect because we ALSO must keep up our strength and health during this time. “All-nighters” just
take a toll…..they always do (be it with staying up all night with a newborn baby or cramming for a college exam)…there
is only so much coffee to drink before you just crash. Again, it’s comforting that we are all here, sitting with him….and I
hope he knows and can see us here….FOR and WITH him. We don’t want to be anywhere else….just hanging out with
our daddy-O.
My mom gets all the kudos in the world and then some. Who “co-authored this book” basically…even in the midst of her
heart breaking…managed to text/email both her friends AND dads along with family to keep everyone abreast of the
situation. She kept her calm (most days---gotta cut her a little slack ) and she stayed strong…shockingly so. I’ll take a
snippet from how I feel about my dad & re-word it to fit her…….“I love that lil girl” Dad would be so proud of her
courage. She is a trooper, she soldiered on & she hung tough. She loved him with everything she had in her and she still
does and she still will. She is an angel.
Susan Rider, not only my sister –in-law but my sister in Christ deserves to be lifted up. Early on (back when my dad was
first diagnosed) I received a card in the mail from her. A sympathy one of sorts, that she gracefully added both
handwritten personal words of encouragement in addition to a bunch of scripture. During this difficult time I would find
myself pulling her card out just to read it over again when I couldn’t sleep some nights. Those specific 8 passages of
God’s Word was soothing. Between that and the “above & beyond” homemade meals & groceries she got for us well,
enough praise cannot be given. Her timing on it all was definitely divinely inspired & she chose to listen. She reminded
me of 2 simple, but extremely strong things. First, is to share your heart & God given gifts with others. And, second, God
loves my dad even more than me. Both points are profound, comforting & exactly what was needed at the right time.
O Weddle is another remarkable human being that needs to be mentioned. He was dad’s medical school buddy. He
visited both at the hospital and at hospice…not to mention daily phone calls and/or texts or emails to check in on dad
during this whole process. He helped be a great source to Kevin when there were questions & needed understanding on
anything medical. His true character and strength was revealed on his last visit. That morning dad was re-living, what
must have been a traumatic event back in his Viet Nam days. CO would not arrive until after lunch that day but he came
just in the nick of time. All morning long dad had been suturing (in the air) and was non-stop cutting strips out of his bed
sheet (pretending to anyway with his hands since he didn’t have scissors). He kept repeating how important this was and
for us to “get to it” and help in which we tried, but, not to dads liking. Dad was also, at this point, extremely thirsty since
he was no longer eating or barely drinking. We would give him water with the small sponge attached to a stick that we
dipped in the cup (as the nurses were doing at that time). He would get upset with us and tell us that the “wounded
men” needed water…and LOTS of it. He informed us to grab washcloths and SOAK them in water and give it to him
which he would then grab from us & shove into his mouth to suck hard on to get the water out. We kept this “charade”
up for quite some time but then CO came. He jumped right in and helped my dad “triage” the fake casualties. He talked
medical terms that my dad could appreciate. He went through physical tests with my dad and gently rotated my his
arms, legs and feet to let my dad know he checked them and that he was “ok.” He helped my dad to relax because
medical reinforcements had come to the rescue to whatever traumatic “situation” my dad was remembering. Thank you
CO. What a true and special friend. We will never forget that afternoon.
To some of my dad’s best friends from Bloomington, the Barnes who cut there Florida trip home to make it back to see
my dad. They drove further into the night just to stay ahead of a terrible ice storm that was hitting all across the path
they had to take home. But they made it, not only for one visit but for two very special ones. I think my dad held on JUST
for them…his journey was not complete until he heard a few more of Ron’s jokes & shared (not really) a couple more
glasses of red wine during cocktail time. They truly KNOW what it is like first hand to go through all of this. They have
“been there and done that” to the utmost degree. And they wanted to see my dad to say goodbye in person to their
dear friend. Not only do our lives change with my dad’s passing, but theirs do too. They are not only friends, they are
family, and, they will mourn & grieve the same as us. A special shout out goes to some special human beings.
I can go on forever about all of the medical personnel who cared for my dad. All of the doctors, nurses & techs at St.
Vincent Hospital & Hospice Center were nothing short of amazing. Certainly a few stand out due to the amount of time
they spent with my dad or just maybe one thing they did that deserves special recognition. They know who they are, and
if they don’t, well, we sure do. And, more so…..God does.
On that note, God is first & foremost through this whole journey. I am mentioning Him last in this section because I
started with Him in the beginning of this whole deal. He IS the beginning AND the END (in case you were unaware). 
I cannot even fathom how many people were praying for my dad. Family, close friends of both my parents, colleagues,
students, past employees, church groups, pastors, MY friends, our employees & folks who never even met him were
talking to the “big guy” upstairs on behalf of my father. It literally blows my mind how many reached out to their
congregations in other cities AND states even to pray for Robert / Bob / Dr. Wylie / etc. What a body of Christ, what a
glorious movement and what true love. That is what it’s all about. All I can say is Glory be to God. Hallelujah and
Amen to it ALL. Thank you each and everyone one. Love you and May God bless you.