the Stunt Show Script

2015 Stunt Demonstration Show
MUSIC UP:
Enter two GUNFIGHTERS from opposite ends of the plaza. They stop about 20 feet apart from
center. After a beat, another GUNFIGHTER enters to form a triangle. MUSIC BUILDS until... all
three draw and FIRE. All three miss. As they check their guns, wondering what went wrong,
the first gunfighter's gun goes off, mortally wounding the second gunfighter, who FIRES, hitting
the third gunfighter, who gets off a shot just before he dies, killing the first gunfighter. All three
are dead.
MC
CUT! Alright guys, take five.
(beat)
Howdy, folks! Welcome to Old Tucson Studios and our Stunt Demonstration Show.
What we're gonna do today is give you a little history of Old Tucson Studios and the part
it's played in the movie industry, as well as a behind-the-scenes look at how stunts are
done, both in the movies and in the live shows we do out here. We'll also talk a little bit
about how stuntmen came to be back in the old days and how stunt work has
progressed throughout the years to the high-tech visual effects stuff you see in films
today.
(beat)
And speaking of the "old days", I'd like to take a moment to introduce you to someone.
Fifty some years ago, Robert Shelton, the man responsible for building Old Tucson into
what it is today, hired this gentleman to bring professional stuntmen to perform live
shows on these streets. He's the reason all of us stuntmen are here today, so let's
please have a big round of applause for Mr. Black Jack Young!
(beat)
Jack cast me in my first role in a movie. I played a poor Mexican farmer. Way to
perpetuate stereotypes, Jack. But he did get me other jobs, like the time I was in a
horse race with James Caan. What I remember is that I ate a lot of dirt that day.
Thanks, Jack. Seriously folks, he started me in my career in the entertainment industry,
along with several others, and we're all grateful to him for it.
(beat)
This is Reunion Weekend here at Old Tucson, when all of the actor/stuntmen from the
past come back to perform. That's why there's a bunch of old guys like me out here on
the streets. I used to be the fastest gun in this town.
GUNFIGHTER
Well, not anymore you ain't.
The actors all laugh.
MC
We might see about that... Junior.
(beat)
Anyway, you might also be interested to know that Jack created all of the original
gunfight shows that are being performed today and he trained all the stuntmen in the
very beginning, training that's been passed down, some of which we're gonna
demonstrate for you ...
ACTOR ONE
Yeah, if you ever stop talking.
The M.C. glares at the actors.
ACTOR TWO
So, are you gonna do some stunts with us... old man?
MC
No, my days of falling off buildings and rolling around in the dirt are behind me.
The actors taunt the MC.
ACTOR ONE
Aw, leave him alone... wouldn't want the old goat to get hurt.
The actors laugh.
MC
You know, Jack... this younger generation just has no respect.
(beat)
Folks, meet the stuntmen of Old Tucson!
The actors applaud, prompting the audience to applaud.
MC
Better known as "The Expendables".
The actors react as if they've been complimented, then get a puzzled look.
MC
In Hollywood, the stuntman is not the star. He or she must do two things - one, make
the star look good... and two, keep the star from getting hurt. Time is money in moviemaking and if your star gets hurt it costs the production a lot of money. That's why
stunt people were invented. If a stunt double gets hurt, who cares? They just hire
another one.
The actors frown. The MC searches for a male volunteer from the audience.
MC
You sir, would you mind being part of our demonstration? Great. What's your name?
Howdy, __________. Where you from? Welcome__________ from__________.
MC walks the guest to center.
MC
Well,__________, today you're going to be our star for the big confrontation scene in
our film.
(aside)
Did he sign that release thing?
The actors shrug in puzzlement.
MC
Aw, it's not important. You won't get hurt.
(mugs the audience)
Listen, you don't have any problems with heights, do you? Like maybe falling off that
building?
The actors wave that off.
MC
What? We're not doing that? Oh, okay. You have any problems with being thrown off
a horse, being dragged along the ground, maybe getting trampled... just a little bit?
The actors wave that off, too.
MC
We're not doing that either. Okay, never mind. I've got something else in mind for you.
Trust me. You'll love it. Here's the scenario... You're just an innocent citizen who
happens to look like someone a real desperado is looking for. He sees you in the street
and walks up to settle his score.
Out walks "The Cactus Kid" - the biggest, baddest, meanest, nastiest, ugliest, smelliest guy we
got.
MC
Okay, now this is "The Cactus Kid". We call him that because he can be a little prickly.
Truth is, he's the biggest, baddest, meanest, nastiest, ugliest, smelliest...
The Cactus Kid is about to draw on the MC.
MC
Okay, let's just say he's the most dangerous hombre this side of the Pecos, and he
thinks you stole... his Teddy Bear.
The Cactus Kid turns menacingly to the guest.
MC
And he wants it back. Okay, you ready? Wait until I say action... and ACTION!
CACTUS KID
Alright, hombre... I know you stole Fluffy and I mean to git 'im back. Me and that bear
go back a long way and I know you stole 'im.
(moves in close, face to face)
And I'm not gonna let no low down, back stabbin' snake like you take him!
The KID reaches for the shoulder of the guest with one hand and rears back with the other as...
MC
CUT! Stunt double!
The MC moves the guest out and an actor steps in. They set for the fight.
MC
And... ACTION!
*** FIGHT SCENE ***
MC
And CUT! Great job guys. Let's have a round of applause for our guys here!
(beat)
Well that was pretty good,__________. Now let's see how you do with a gun.
Actor brings out a gun and rig for the guest.
MC
Ever handled a gun like this before? Can you twirl it?
(no matter what happens)
Oh, that was... really good.
(rolls his eyes at the audience)
That inspires confidence. You'll do great,__________.
(turns to the audience and pretends to bite nails)
Ok, let's give it a shot. No pun intended. What we're gonna do,__________ is see how
good your quick draw is against one of our fastest gunfighters. Now since you're the
guest here, we're gonna give you a little edge. Take out your gun... No, don't point it at
me... Wait, let me get outta the way. Point the gun right at our gunfighter's chest...
Actor is facing the guest about 20 feet away.
MC
Now, cock the hammer back...
GUNFIGHTER
Whoa, whoa, wait a minute! You're gonna let him stand there with a cocked gun,
pointed at me, no less, and you want me to out draw him? Isn't that just a little unfair? I mean,
come on...
MC
What's the matter, Mr. I'm The Fastest Gun In This Town Now?
The gunfighter (who should be the same guy who told the MC he wasn't the fastest gun in town
anymore) is shamed.
MC
Okay, now... Be ready... Watch him... He's fast... He's tricky... He...
The gunfighter draws and FIRES. If the guest loses...
MC
Just shot you dead. Let's have a big round of applause for the dead guy, I
mean,__________.
If he wins...
MC
Maybe you should apply for a job here. Looks like there's gonna be an opening!
Another big round of applause for__________. Great job!
(beat)
Stunt men and women have always been the nameless, thankless magicians who made
the impossible seem real. As film making became more sophisticated, so did the a
audience. They wanted more realism in films. Film makers started to looks for new
ways to create that realism in their productions. In the early days, when a cowboy got
shot, he would cover his wound and just slump over and die like a sack of potatoes, like
this...
Two actors face off, quick draw, FIRE, and one does a ridiculous, melodramatic death scene.
MC
(to the dead actor)
Well, here's something we won't be hearing from you anytime soon: “I'd like to thank
the Academy for this award and all the little people who made it possible.”
MC
Anyway, a director named Sam Peckinpah decided that THAT just wasn't good enough
so he started using something we call a "squib". A squib is a small charge placed under
an the actors' clothing that simulates a bullet hit to the body. Now, how many people
here would like to have their morning latte, drive to work, then get explosives strapped
to their body?
All the actors start "Oooing" and raising their hands.
MC
Okay, let me rephrase that. How many people here WHO HAVE NOT RECENTLY HIT
THEIR HEADS?
All of the actors' hands go down.
MC
This unique device created a much more stunning and hard hitting effect and it looks
something like this.
An actor - squibbed - is by himself, away from the others in plain sight, standing with his hands
behind his back, maybe rocking on his feet, not paying much attention, gazing out at the sky or
the crowd. The MC turns, takes deliberate aim and FIRES, hitting the actor square in the chest.
The squib goes off and actor takes a reaction to the ground.
MC
Much more realistic, huh? Sells a lot more tickets. Let's have a big round of applause
for_________, doing our squib effect today!
(beat)
And speaking of realistic, we want everyone to know that the guns the actors use here
at Old Tucson are real guns. The blanks we fire are filled with a powerful black powder
charge that can be just as dangerous at close range as a live round. We'd like to
demonstrate that to you.
An actor brings out aluminum soda can half full of water and a chair.
MC
This is an ordinary soda can, about half full of water.
The MC pours a bit out.
MC
Ok, now a little less than half. Anyway, this can is a lot sturdier than your skin, would
you agree? This is a .44 caliber, single action colt model pistol. It's loaded with a full
load, blank cartridge. Let's see what happens if I...
The MC shoots the can, blowing a nice big hole in it.
MC
Imagine if that was your skin. That's why when we shoot one another, we stand a
distance apart. But another hazard from gunfire is what we call "spray". That's when
the gunpowder blast flies out of the barrel and heads right for your head. It's not
enough to kill you, but it can sure do some damage. The actors are all trained on gun
safety and we do what we call "off-shooting" the target. That means when a gunfighter
aims his gun, he's always just a slight bit off target to avoid any kind of injury to his
partner. The reason it looks like he shot him on film, is because the camera doesn't
have two eyes. It only has one. Let's try that. Everybody cover one eye. There, now
only half of you can see.
(laughs)
That joke never gets old. When the camera looks at something, it really has no depth
perception, so an audience watching film can be fooled into seeing something that isn't
real. For example. Let's have a couple of young ladies come on up and we'll show you
what we mean.
Actors find two females, young or old. The MC introduces them.
MC
Let's have a round of applause for our beautiful and brave volunteers. Now you ladies
look like you can take care of yourself, am I right? You look like you got some good
moves.
(boxing stance)
You can throw a punch, right? Ok, well we're gonna see just how good you are. Let's
bring out the boxing gloves... I mean punching bags.. I mean, can I have a couple of
actors out here please?
Two actors step out, grumbling, pushing and shoving each other as they move up.
MC
What's the matter with you two?
ACTOR THREE
He's calling me names.
MC
What did he call you?
The actor whispers something in MC's ear, then steps back.
MC
Go stand over there and stop this nonsense. You're not incompetent... far as I know.
The actor moves to his mark and fists pumps the air with a "YES!"
MC
Ok, now we want the audience to only see what we want them to see, so we're gonna
position you this way.
MC sets the women up.
MC
Now, ladies, when you swing at the stuntmen, you will be swinging a couple of feet
away from their actual noggins but the camera can't see that depth. It'll just looks like
you clocked him good. Ok, let's try it. On three, I want you ladies to take your best
swings at these boys and we'll demonstrate the Studio punch. Ready? One, two,
THREE!
The women throw their punches and both actors go down. One takes a mouth blood bag and
comes up saying his partner really hit him.
MC
Oh, no. Ma'am, you've just broken one of the cardinal rules of stunt fighting. Never
actually hit your stuntman in the mouth. There's a penalty for that, I'm afraid... you'll
have to give the stuntman a kiss on the boo-boo and make it better.
The guest obliges. The other actor falls to the ground holding his head in pain.
ACTOR
Oww, oww, I think my partner hit me, too! Owwww..!
MC
Why are you just feeling it now?
ACTOR
Uh... Delayed reaction?
MC
Knock it off. Let's have a big round of applause for our volunteers. Thank you ladies!
(beat)
Old Tucson was originally built in 1939 for the movie "Arizona" starring Jean Arthur and
William Holden. Some years later, when Bob Shelton took it over, he knew he had
something unique and special but he wasn't quite sure what he was going to do with it.
Well, one day, Bob was out on Main St. and a young man approached him and said "My
boss would like to talk to you about using your town for a project." So, Bob was walked
over to a big man who was standing with his back to him. When the big man turned
around, Bob realized it was John Wayne. John started telling Bob how he wanted to do
a movie here and that he wanted to put up a corral over here, a church there, maybe a
general store and a saloon over here, and a couple of other things. John then said "I'm
gonna do all of this for you, so what are YOU gonna do for me?" Bob said, "Mr. Wayne, I
have three dollars, this pocket knife, that old Cadillac over there and my wife... you can
have whatever you want." Well, John Wayne came back and did four movies at Old
Tucson studios: Rio Lobo, Rio Bravo, McClintock and El Dorado. And since then, there
have been over 300 movies, commercials and television shows made here. It's been a
monument to the film industry in Southern Arizona and stands today, even surviving a
terrible fire. It continues to be a town full of movie memories and we're so glad you
could come out and spend some time with us today so we could share those memories.
(beat)
Now, do you think we should do a little something special? Are you ready to see a
bit of Old Tucson magic? Alright, folks... get ready for... the actors of Old Tucson!
Two actors walk out dressed as clowns. The MC REACTS.
MC
What are you clowns doing here? You're not supposed to be here! You're on the wrong
set! Get outta here!
The clowns slink off, arguing with each other.
MC
Alright, let's do this...
The MC sits with the guests in the front row.
MC
I'll just sit over here, if it's ok. And... ACTION!
*** The Stunt Finale ***
At the end, there are three actors still alive. The MC hops the rope and FIRES at each survivor.
The three run off - one up on the mission high fall, one to the lattice on the side and one to the
jail, where the dynamite is. The MC shoots the guy on the side, he takes a fall. The actor in
front of the jail fires at the MC, who returns fire and shoots the gun out of his hand. The actor
runs into the jail. The MC picks up dynamite and tosses it into the jail and runs for cover. Fire
effect. MC runs to the fountain where a shotgun is stashed. The third survivor is on top of the
mission.
GUNFIGHTER
Ha, ha, you didn't get me! I'm still here!!!
The gunfighter laughs and keeps shooting at the MC, hitting the fountain water several times.
Even out of ammo, he keeps shooting, hitting the water every time.
MC
How are you doing that?
GUNFIGHTER
It's a water pistol! Get it?
He laughs; the audience groans.
GUNFIGHTER
Anyway, we're both out of bullets so I guess it's a standoff.
MC
That's right. I stand... and you... fall off.
The MC blows the gunfighter away with the shotgun and he falls from the mission.
MC
Let's have a big round of applause for the actors of Old Tucson!
(beat)
Thank you, folks, for spending time with us today and we hope you take a little bit of the
Old West home with you when you go. Don't forget the __________show coming
up at __________out on Main St. and thank you all again for coming!
END