1. religion and spirituality
2. judaism

J
Volume 4, Number 6
Summer Bridal 2008
EWISH
COMMUNITY NEWS
New
Orleans
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Baton
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Bridal
Guide
Summer 2008
Photo courtesy John - Michael Photography
Bridal Guide
The Jewish Community News
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Bridal Guide
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Exquisite Wedding Ideas
by Bridget Mora
If you are planning a wedding, you
probably enjoy reading the bridal magazines and watching the wedding
shows on television. Most women love
the look of the fabulous events highlighted on the wedding shows, but cannot afford the price tag. There is one
thing that all high-end weddings have
in common (besides the cost), and that
is great style. The good news is that it
is possible to use a lot of the same great
ideas without paying the same price.
The key to a high-end looking wedding is the details. Expensive weddings incorporate a lot of special elements that set them apart from the run
of the mill weddings. Some of the concepts are not all that costly, it’s just
that they had to hire a coordinator to
pull it all together. If you are creative,
you can achieve similar effects by
doing them yourself for a lot less
money.
Expensive weddings usually have a
unified theme that ties the entire wedding together. A bride will choose a
motif or a monogram to have engraved
or letter pressed onto all of the stationary and other small details of the wedding. Instead of shouldering the high
cost of custom engraving, have a rubber stamp made with your chosen
design. Use metallic gold ink to stamp
the motif onto everything from invitations to thank you notes to favor boxes.
You can achieve a totally custom look
for next to no cost.
Elaborate and unique table displays
help to convey a feeling of luxury.
Stealing this look is often just a matter
of finding unusual ways to arrange
your flowers. One idea to steal from a
high-end wedding is to take clear glass
cylinders and twist ribbons around
them. It should be done in a very neat
and tailored way; if the ribbons look
messy, you will not achieve a designer
look.
Fabulous weddings often have very
tall floral arrangements on the tables,
which can be quite expensive. You can
re-create this posh feeling by suspending floral vessels and little votive holders from the ceiling over the tables.
Scour flea markets for unique flower
containers; you could even use something like vintage birdcages, stuffed
with lots of moss and a modest number
of flowers. It will look like you paid
someone a fortune to create one of a
kind centerpiece.
The brides in high-end weddings
wear designer gowns with lots of diamond jewelry. A great way to give
your wedding ensemble beautiful
sparkle without breaking the bank is
with crystal bridal jewelry. Swarovksi
crystals have an incredible fire, and
will make your look glamorous and
sophisticated. Select crystal bridal
jewelry with a modern edge for a
unique and elegant appearance.
Sometimes it is the finishing touches that make high-end weddings feel
really polished. Not all of them cost
any more than doing something less
interesting, either. For example,
instead of numbering the tables 1 – 10,
give them individual names, such as
the word for love in ten different languages. Serving a signature drink is
another stylish idea that you can borrow. It gives your wedding a personal
flair, but does not necessarily add to
the bar bill.
With a little creativity, and a lot of
inspiration, you can achieve the custom feeling of a high-end wedding
within a reasonable budget. The key is
to highlight those special details that
will give your event a harmonious
feeling from beginning to end. Allow
your own personality to shine through,
and you will surely be able to create
the wedding of your dreams.
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Bridal Guide
The Jewish Community News
Two Ceremonies in One
Experiencing a child’s wedding from a parent’s perspective.
by Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer
Generations ago, Jewish parents
were at the helm of organizing their
children’s weddings, from the initial
steps of arranging a match and establishing a dowry to hosting the wedding
festivities and helping the couple set
up their new home. In those days, the
young hatan and kallah (groom and
bride) may have barely known one
another before their nuptials and needed to trust that their parents would create the best possible match for them.
As customs and traditions began to
change for much of the Jewish world,
especially in America, young men and
women started to reject arranged marriages and look for spouses on their
own. Still, when it came to making
arrangements for the wedding itself,
much of the work continued to fall on
the parents, in particular the bride’s
mother. Since it was usual for the
bride’s parents to pay for the wedding,
they often took charge of planning the
occasion according to their taste and
budget. The young couple might be
consulted for their opinions (certainly
more the bride than the groom), but it
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the final word.
Not so with families today. Statistics show that Jewish people in the
United States are marrying later than
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financially independent, having lived
on their own and established both personal and professional communities
(often located far away from parents)
by the time they decide to tie the knot.
With this independence may come the
desire on the part of the couple to
make their own choices about where
and when to wed, how big a wedding
to have, who will officiate, and how
many guests to invite. Parents may be
consulted and included in the planning, but it is no longer assumed that
the bride’s family will pay for the
affair. The couple may receive support
from both sides or choose to pay for
the wedding themselves. This break
from traditional roles and parental
expectations can leave many parents
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feeling lost and wondering what their
role in their child’s big day is.
Two Rituals in One
Whether or not parents are playing a
key role in organizing and planning
their children’s nuptials, the wedding of
a child is still one of the most significant lifecycle moments that a parent
will experience. It is a profound
moment of letting go, acknowledging
that one’s son or daughter is no longer a
child and is ready to commit to an adult
partnership. This moment can include
feelings of great joy and celebration,
but also sadness and loss, as well.
Often parents don’t have a formal
opportunity to think about the ways in
which their child’s wedding is also a
ritual moment for them. Fortunately,
some new rituals are being created and
some traditional rituals are being revisited which can give parents the opportunity to experience their children’s
weddings on two levels: as the embracing of their child’s new union and as a
rite of passage for them as parents,
allowing them to acknowledge their
children as adults.
Rituals to Build Support
Anyone who has been involved in
planning a wedding knows that even in
the most open, communicative families, some stressful moments are going
to occur. Couples have their own ideas
about the wedding, and parents often
also want to have their say. What can
begin as a conversation about caterers
or guests can quickly escalate into a
heated argument. All the while, parents
See TWO CEREMONIES
on Page 5
Bridal Guide
The Jewish Community News
TWO CEREMONIES
Continued from Page 4
and children may be ignoring some of
the true issues underlying the fighting
— that even for grown, independent
children, the wedding represents a
degree of separation from parents. And
with this separation comes loss.
Couples may wish to work with their
rabbis to think about creative ways to
acknowledge this aspect of marriage in
their weddings. The following are several ritual ideas to honor and involve
parents during this special time.
Creating Ritual Objects: Jewish
weddings are full of ritual objects, from
the ketubah (marriage contract) to the
huppah (wedding canopy); from the
Kiddush cups to the glass set aside to be
broken. One way to honor and involve
parents in the wedding planning process
is to invite them to help make one of
these ritual objects. For example, when
Ron and Dr. Joellyn Zollman of San
Diego, CA, married, they asked each of
their mothers to embroider material to
become their huppah. Ron’s mother
lives in California, while Joellyn’s
mother lives in Pennsylvania, where the
wedding took place. Each mother
worked independently on their section
of the huppah, then sewed them together in the days preceding the wedding.
Ron and Joellyn detailed this process in
their wedding program, honoring their
mother’s efforts.
You need not have “crafty” parents
to involve them in this way. For example, a Kiddush cup is needed during
the ceremony for the blessings over the
wine. Couples can ask their parents to
share a special Kiddush cup from their
family to be placed under the huppah
with the couple. In some cases, couples use the cups that were used during
their parents’ ceremonies, linking
them to that special moment in time.
Other parents have taken on such tasks
as cutting down branches from trees at
their family homes to be used for huppah poles, donating family heirloom
materials for use in making the huppah, or helping to design or do calligraphy for the ketubah. By involving
parents in creating something tangible
for your wedding, you give them a
sense of ownership and inclusion in
the ritual that is unfolding.
A Ceremonial Moment: Couples
may also choose to include in their
nuptials a ritual acknowledging what
this occasion means for their parents.
For example, Rabbi Marcia Prager,
author of The Path of Blessing: Experiencing the Energy and Abundance of
the Divine, includes a special ritual for
parents in the weddings that she leads.
During the bedecken ceremony (traditionally, the veiling of the bride),
Rabbi Prager takes a moment with
only the bride and groom and their
parents present. She offers the parents
their own blessing as a way acknowledging that the wedding is a milestone
in their lives as parents. Parents then
embrace their children. In the midst of
what can be a hectic day, this simple
moment allows parents and children to
recognize the impact and significance
of the occasion.
Dance and Celebration: In Jewish
tradition, the wedding celebration continues the holiness of the ceremony;
rejoicing with the bride and groom is a
mitzvah (commandment). Tradition
offers ways to honor parents amidst the
joy. Many Jewish couples — even those
who don’t wish to include traditional
Jewish circle dancing in their parties —
take time during their receptions to celebrate with their parents. This could
done by honoring them with the traditional mizinke dance, originally a tribute to a mother who has married off her
last daughter. Today, sons and daughters often honor both parents with this
dance, circling the father and mother
and presenting them with floral garlands and bouquets. Other couples
invite their parents to offer a toast, a
poem, or a blessing to their children. In
many cases, the children in turn offer a
thank you blessing or toast to their parents, or even present their parents with
a gift of appreciation.
The possibilities for acknowledging
the emotional and spiritual impact of a
child’s wedding for parents are limitless, and couples, especially with the
guidance of clergy, can find innovative
ways to include parents in this lifecycle
moment. Contemporary couples’ independent lives may bear little resemblance to those of the generations that
have come before them, but the complex emotions between parents and
children remain very much the same.
Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer is the
author of The Creative Jewish Wedding Book: A Hands-On Guide to New
& Old Traditions, Ceremonies & Celebrations (Jewish Lights). For more
ideas visit her website at www.creativejewishwedding.com.
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5
Bridal Guide
The Jewish Community News
Wedding Customs: Old, New, and Renovated
by Marlena Thompson
According to Jewish law, getting
married is an exceedingly simple
affair: The bride accepts something
worth more than a dime (in today’s
currency) from the groom, the groom
utters words of acquisition and consecration, these two actions are witnessed, and voila, the happy couple is
married. All the rest, i.e., the white
gown, the veil, the portable chuppah (
wedding canopy), etc., are but customs
which have grown up around Jewish
weddings through the ages This is not
to diminish their importance, for customs add measureless beauty and
meaning to life-cycle milestones.
Today, in fact, some of the most
ancient practices are currently being
rediscovered and “renovated” by couples seeking to blend tradition with a
modern outlook on marriage.
Your
One of the most enduring wedding
customs, the wearing of the veil, has its
origins in the Bible. Upon seeing her
husband-to-be, Isaac, for the first time,
Rebecca “took her veil and covered herself.” (Gen. 25:65) Another veiling custom, Badekin (the veiling of the bride
by the groom just before the wedding),
also has biblical roots. Those familiar
with the story of Jacob and his two
wives, Leah and Rachel, will remember
how Jacob’s father in law, Laban,
tricked Jacob into marrying Leah
instead of his beloved Rachel by veiling
Leah heavily before the wedding. By
placing the veil over the bride’s face
himself, a Jewish groom makes sure he
doesn’t repeat Jacob’s mistake. (A more
poetic interpretation of badekin is that
by covering the bride’s face, the groom
shows that he values her for more than
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mere external beauty.)
But despite its fascinating history
and continued popularity, the veil is not
a requirement. Some modern women
reject it because of its similarity to the
purdah (the requisite face covering
worn by married Middle Eastern
women), an emblem of modesty to
some and of oppression to others.
A lawful Jewish marriage requires
an act of kinyan (that the bride be given
— and that she accept — something of
nominal value from the groom). In
ancient times, coins were typically
given. (They are still used by many
Sephardic and Oriental Jews). Since
the 7th century C.E., rings replaced
coins in most of Europe as the “gift of
choice.” Some commentators suggest
that the preference for rings is attributable to their circular form, which symbolizes endless love between a husband
and wife. Others see the circle as representing a link to the past and a commitment to the future. But for whatever
reason, in North America today it is
almost universally the custom to give a
ring as the object of exchange. According to Jewish law, the ring must belong
to the groom, be of solid metal, and be
free of gems. (The inclusion of precious stones produces significant variations in ring values, which, presumed
the rabbis, could cause a bride to
reconsider.) An interesting custom in
post-Renaissance Europe was the use
of communal rings — large, ornate
objets d’art decorated either with representations of the Jerusalem Temple
or a local synagogue. Such rings were
objects of pride to the entire community and were lent to couples for their
bridal celebrations.
The double ring ceremony popular
today is a relatively recent custom, and
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one which raises some objections
amongst traditional Jews. Some think
that an exchange of rings invalidates
kinyan (the formal acquisition of a
thing of value by the bride). However,
Conservative, Reform, and Reconstructionist rabbis find no legal objection to the double-ring ceremony. A
modern trend is to inscribe biblical or
other significant Hebrew phrases on
the ring. Up until fairly recently a
common inscription was, Eshet Chayil
Ateret Ba’alah (A Woman Of Valor Is
Her Husband’s Crown). These days, it
is more usual to inscribe the gender
neutral, Ani L’Dodi V’L’ Dodi Li (I
Belong To My Beloved And My
Beloved Belongs To Me).
The white bridal dress is so intrinsic
to modern weddings — including Jewish weddings — that it is common to
assume this attire to be universal, which
it is not. In fact, Oriental and Sephardic
brides have traditionally worn brightly
colored dresses set off with veils made
of streaming gold coins. In fact, many
Jewish brides of Moroccan and
Yemenite descent still marry in this
type of garb, especially in Israel. In
ancient Greece, both bride and groom
wore white garments adorned with garlands. The classic bridal costume for
Iraqi Jewish brides included silver bells
and golden nose rings.
The white bridal gown became customary amongst Ashkenazic Jews who
followed the example of their Christian neighbors, although white was not
the preferred color amongst all Christians. In France of the Middle Ages
and beyond, brides rarely wore white,
electing blue or rose because white
was the color of mourning. Ironically,
while the white gown has come to
symbolize bridal virginity in Christian
culture, in the Jewish tradition the
gown denotes something quite different — that no matter how sexually
active a bride may have been before
marriage, the wedding purifies her.
White is worn as a symbol of the purity conferred upon her by the wedding.
In many Orthodox communities, a
bride gives a tallit (prayer shawl) to the
groom which he wears only from the
day he is married, despite being a Bar
Mitzvah for years. According to some
Jewish mystics, the tallit is associated
with sexual temptation, which, for a
man, is more of an issue after marriage
than at the traditional age of becoming
a Bar Mitzvah. The biblical command
to wear the fringes of the tallit states:
“...you shall look at them and not be
tempted to follow your heart and eyes.”
See WEDDING CUSTOMS
on Page 11
Bridal Guide
The Jewish Community News
Becoming One: How Wedding Planning
Can Prepare You for Marriage
by Tiffany R. Wright
In many ways, planning your wedding can be considered your marriage
preparation boot camp. The skills necessary to plan the ‘perfect’ wedding
are also required to maintain a ‘perfect’ marriage. The planning process
can test your strength as a couple and
force you to improve the weak areas.
Communication and Honesty
Communication is vital to a successful wedding and more importantly,
a successful marriage. Proper communication cannot exist without honesty;
dishonest communication is an oxymoron. After allowing yourselves to
bask in your new engagement bliss for
a few weeks, you and your fiancé
should begin by setting the ground
rules for the wedding. You should have
an initial wedding conversation(s) in
which you decide on a date, a budget,
the size and general style of your wedding. Once these parameters are set,
any changes should be openly discussed. Family, friends and even vendors will pressure you to venture outside the ground rules set by you and
your fiancé. Your mother, or future
mother in law, may insist on stretching
the guest list from 100 to 175, your
florist may tempt you to add hundreds
to your floral budget and the bridal
party may insist on a more expensive
band. You cannot, without clear and
open communication with your fiancé,
make changes to the boundaries set in
the initial conversation. Making
changes without discussion, or being
deceitful will only lead to discord in
your relationship. The lesson to be
learned here is that you should be an
unbreakable unit, immune from
attempts by others to split you apart.
Of course, your family and friends
have no ill intentions in their efforts,
but they are thinking about your wedding while you should consider the
marriage to follow.
Finances
Financially, planning your wedding
is a microcosm of your future marriage. Just as your household budget
will be crucial to the financial condi-
tion of your marriage, the success of
your wedding will depend on your budget. As mentioned above, your initial
conversation with your fiancé should
include setting a budget. Be honest and
realistic with yourselves: How much
can you afford to spend on a wedding?
What, if any, financial support can you
depend on receiving from family?
What sacrifices are you willing to
make? Are you willing to use credit, if
necessary? For the record, I strongly
advise against going into debt for your
wedding. However, everyone’s financial outlook is unique and there may be
cases where a couple can effectively
use credit to pay for wedding expenses.
Whatever you do, BE REALISTIC.
There is nothing worse than a deluded
bride, who has tricked herself into
believing that she has more money than
she really does. This was the case with
one of my most recent brides, and the
result was not pretty. She spent the last
week before her wedding scrambling
to find money and asking (begging)
vendors to lower their prices. Avoid
this embarrassing fate by being realistic from the beginning.
Love & Romance
As beautiful as it will be, your wedding day is just that – ONE DAY. So
many brides put so much energy and
effort into planning for the day, that
they neglect their relationships. Once
the wedding planning begins, you will
be surprised at how many of your conversations and interactions involve
planning. You may find yourself wondering what you did before planning
your wedding. The time you would normally spend snuggled on the couch
together becomes time you spend surfing the wedding sites and message
boards, meeting with vendors or talking
wedding business on the phone. Saturday afternoon outings become vendor
meetings. The result is that the wedding
date arrives and you feel further apart
than ever. Don’t let this happen! Turn
off the computer, set aside time to
spend together and make no exceptions.
Vendors, the web and wedding business
can wait. After marriage, you’ll have
kids (maybe) and life that will stand in
the way of your romance and intimacy.
Don’t start bad habits now.
© 2004-2008. Isnare.com
Best Wishes from...
Carol A. Stuckey, DDS
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7
Bridal Guide
The Jewish Community News
What Is The Structure Of A Traditional Jewish Ceremony?
Generally, Jewish wedding ceremonies proceed in the order presented
below, though some details vary
depending on personal tradition and
level of Jewish observance.
Kabbalat Panim
The bride and groom each welcome
the wedding guests in different rooms.
Traditionally, the two have not seen
each other for the week preceding their
wedding. The bride often sits in a
throne-like chair to represent the idea
that the bride and groom are a queen
and king on their wedding day. In traditional ceremonies, the groom has a
reception called a tisch, where he gives
an informal speech as his guests sing
and dance.
Ketubah Signing
At a more private gathering, the
ketubah — the Jewish wedding contract
— is signed. Orthodox Aramaic ketubot
(plural of ketubah) are signed by two
appointed witnesses, who are not family members, while more modern
ketubot are usually signed by the bride,
groom, witnesses and rabbi. The Orthodox ketubah text talks about the
groom’s financial responsibilities to the
bride, as well as his obligation to
respect her and provide for her needs.
There are also more modern ketubah
texts that feature poetic words about
love and commitment. See Gallery
Judaica’s ketubah text explanation here
for more information. A ketubah is
often a beautiful lithograph that a couple frames and displays in their home
as a piece of custom wedding art.
Guests at the ketubah signing partake of a little nosh, or snack, as they
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Orthodox tradition, the mothers of the
bride and groom break a plate together
to represent the seriousness of the
occasion (though the two moms often
have fun doing it).
Badeken
The badeken, or veiling, begins
when the groom is joyously ushered to
the bride’s chambers, accompanied by
family and friends. The groom looks at
the face of his bride, then lowers her
veil. This ritual symbolizes the idea
that while physical attraction is important, it is the couple’s inner qualities
that are the foundation of their marriage. In some modern ceremonies, the
ritual is balanced with the bride’s placing a kippah, or skullcap, on the
groom’s head. The original meaning of
the badeken is thought to represent the
Biblical story of Jacob and Rachel,
when after his wedding, Jacob found
that he had actually married Leah,
Rachel’s sister - oops! So now, to make
sure the groom has the right bride, he
covers her face himself.
Huppah
The bride and groom then take part
in two marriage ceremonies under the
huppah, or wedding canopy, which is
held up by four poles. Huppahs vary in
style — from exquisite fabric to a large
tallit (fringed prayer shawl), and symbolize the home that the bride and
groom will make together. The huppah
is open on all four sides to show that
their home will be a place for guests to
visit — like Abraham’s tent in the days
of the Bible.
Kiddushin
The first ceremony is called Kiddushin. The bride and groom are welcomed into the huppah, often by a hazzan, or cantor, who sings blessings to the
couple. The bride and groom approach
the huppah separately, accompanied by
their respective parents. The bride then
circles the groom seven times (can vary
depending on tradition). The rabbi
recites two blessings over the wine. Traditionally, one Kiddush cup (wine cup)
is used, though some rabbis prefer to use
two (some even use three, pouring the
wine from two cups into one).
The groom holds the ring before the
bride’s waiting finger, while he
declares in Hebrew, “Behold, you are
consecrated to me with this ring,
according to the laws of Moses and
Israel.” The groom places the ring on
his bride’s finger. In more modern ceremonies, the bride then places a ring
on the finger of the groom. The
ketubah is then read aloud.
Nisuin
The second ceremony is called
Nisuin. A second cup of wine is
poured, and several guests have the
honor of reciting the ‘Seven Blessings.’ These blessings praise God for
creating human beings, and for making
the groom and bride as happy as Adam
and Eve were in the Garden of Eden.
The blessings declare, ‘The sound of
joy, the sound of celebration, the voice
of the groom, the voice of the bride.’
After the blessings, the bride and
groom drink the wine.
Then comes the part almost everyone knows about, thanks to TV and
movies, where the groom smashes the
glass with his foot. There are many
interpretations of the breaking of the
glass. The most commonly known is
that it represents the destruction of the
Holy Temple and that completely pure
joy can’t exist until the temple is
rebuilt someday. Alternately, it is
thought to represent the end of the couple’s lives alone, and the beginning of
their new lives as one. Mystically
speaking (according to ancient Kabbalah texts), there is also the idea that
the beginning of the world began with
breaking of glass vessels, and that
humans were put on earth to put the
pieces back together — a concept
known as tikkun olam, or repair of the
world. Once the glass is broken, the
guests rejoice, ‘Mazel Tov!’
Yichud
After the ceremony, the bride and
groom are then ushered off into a
room, where they spend a short while
in yichud, or alone time together. The
couple usually takes this time to eat a
little and regroup before being greeted
by the guests at the reception (shouldn’t all bride and grooms be so smart
and lucky!).
Meanwhile, a savvy guest or two
might gather the pieces of broken glass
in order to encase the shards in a work
of art later on. Broken wedding-glass
art is one of the newest Jewish wedding customs. You can check out samples, along with many other beautiful
Jewish wedding items, at Gallery
Judaica’s ‘Jewish Wedding Checklist’
resource.
The Reception
The guests mingle and nosh for a bit
at the reception, and then witness the
bride and groom making their very
first entrance as husband and wife. A
meal follows, as does lots of singing,
dancing, toasts, and entertainment.
During grace, after the meal, Birkat
Hamazon, the Seven Blessings, are
repeated. Kol sasson v’kol simchah!
— the sounds of joy and celebration!
Bridal Guide
The Jewish Community News
Planning Your Jewish Wedding
Seven simple steps
by Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer
Mazel Tov! If you or someone close to you is
planning a Jewish wedding, you are in the midst of
an exciting — and at times stress inducing — experience. Besides the many wedding details that all
couples need to plan, Jewish brides and grooms have
several other important factors connected to their
ceremony to consider. Whether you are Jewishly
knowledgeable or relatively new to Judaism, you
may want to review the following list before you
make your plans to create a meaningful Jewish wedding:
1. Choosing a Date
Traditionally, Jewish weddings are prohibited on
Shabbat and festivals — including Rosh Hashanah, Yom
Kippur, Passover, Shavuot, and Sukkot — and the fast
days Tisha B’Av, the 10th of Tevet, the 17th of Tammuz,
the Fast of Gedaliah, and the Fast of Esther. Traditionally, Jewish weddings are not held during the counting of
the omer between Passover and Shavuot, although customs differ as to whether that entire seven-week stretch or
just part of it is a problem. Marrying during the three
weeks between the 17th of Tammuz and Tisha B’Av is
also prohibited in traditional Jewish practice. Because
many of these dates fall during prime wedding season
(spring-summer), it’s important to check an accurate Jewish calendar (such as www.hebcal.com) before you select
a date.
Jewish tradition also points out certain dates that
are said to be auspicious for weddings. Rosh
Hodesh, for example, the monthly celebration of the
new moon, is supposed to bring good luck to couples. Tu B’Av, a minor holiday that falls during the
summer months, is connected to fertility and passion. There are no wedding prohibitions connected
to Hanukkah, which has become a popular time to
marry.
And although Shabbat weddings are out, many
couples choose to wed on Saturday at sundown, so
that they can begin their ceremony with havdalah,
marking both the end of Shabbat and the end of the
time that came before their public commitment to
one another. Some couples choose to wed on Tuesdays, believing it to be an especially blessed day,
since in the Biblical story of creation, the phrase
“God saw that it was good” appears twice on the
third day.
2. Selecting a Rabbi
For some couples, this step is an easy one. They
may be active members of a congregation or have a
childhood or Hillel rabbi that they are still close to.
But for many engaged couples who are not affiliated
with a Jewish community in a formal way, finding a
rabbi to lead their wedding ceremony is a daunting
task. Parents may suggest using the rabbi from their
congregation, whether or not the couple knows them.
First off, it’s important to know that a rabbi is not
the only person who can lead a Jewish wedding. A
cantor can officiate, as can another educated profes-
sional serving the Jewish community. However, to
meet most states’ requirements, the officiant does
need to be a recognized member of the clergy; be
sure to ask this question of any clergy you speak
with.
You may want to begin the search for your rabbi
by visiting local congregations and observing how
different rabbis lead services. You can also contact
rabbinical schools to connect with a student rabbi,
whose work will be supervised by an experienced
faculty member. Students are eager to gain experience and may even give you more time than a busy
congregational rabbi could.
See PLANNING
on Page 10
Summer 2008
9
Bridal Guide
PLANNING
Continued from Page 9
Rabbis’ schedules fill up quickly, so
if you have a particular rabbi in mind,
be sure to clear the date with him or
her as soon as possible. Interfaith couples who encounter difficulties finding
a rabbi can contact organizations such
as the Jewish Outreach Institute
(www.joi.org) or the Rabbinic Center
for Research and Counseling
(www.rcrconline.org), which work
with interfaith couples and can help
them to find a rabbi.
When you meet with rabbis you are
considering, be sure to ask them their
philosophy about leading weddings, if
they are open to adapting rituals, and
what kind of ketubah [marriage contract] text they prefer that couples use.
You want to make sure that you are on
the same page about major issues from
the start.
3. Planning the Ceremony
Even couples who grew up in a Jewish home with years of Jewish education may find themselves surprised
when it comes to examining traditional Jewish wedding rituals. For example, in a traditional ceremony, only the
The Jewish Community News
groom gives the bride a ring, an act
which is thought to symbolize kinyan
(acquisition).
Many contemporary egalitarian
couples find this ritual to be not in
keeping with their values and choose
to do a double-ring ceremony; some
Orthodox rabbis will allow a modified
form of this. While working with a
rabbi can help you learn about the
wedding rituals, you will probably get
more out of the experience by doing a
bit of research, so you can bring ideas
to your meetings with the rabbi.
4. Choosing a Ketubah
Just as our government issues a marriage license, Jewish law has historically used a ketubah to sanction a marriage. Ketubah means “writing” or
“written” and refers to the document
that is signed by witnesses before and
often read during a Jewish wedding.
Traditionally, a ketubah served as a
kind of premarital contract, outlining a
bride’s ongoing rights: food, clothing,
and even sex should be provided during
the course of the marriage. The ketubah
also specified her rights in the case of
her husband’s death or their divorce.
Many contemporary couples choose
to veer away from the traditional
ketubah text and its implications
and instead choose a text that
expresses their hopes and commitments for their marriage. Some couples write their own text, while others search for a text that speaks to
their vision.
Historically, the ketubah is not
only a legal document, but also an
artistic one. Ketubot [plural of
ketubah] have long been — and
continue to be — an expression of
Jewish creativity. So couples not
only have decisions to make about
the text, but also the kind of art they
want for their ketubah. Some couples shop together for a lithograph;
others hire an artist to create an
original design.
Couples should also think about
who they want to invite to sign their
ketubah. Traditionally, a witness must
be a religiously observant Jewish male,
unrelated to the bride or groom.
Reform and Reconstructionist and
some Conservative rabbis accept
women as witnesses, though most still
prefer that the witness be Jewish.
5. Selecting a Huppah
The huppah is the canopy that covers
the bride and groom during the wedding ceremony, creating a sacred space
that is both open for all to see and private and intimate for the couple beneath
it. It symbolizes their new home together, and is said to be open as was the tent
of Abraham and Sarah, who were
always ready to receive visitors.
In planning your wedding, think
about what kind of huppah would be
special for you. Some are covered in
flowers, others are made of fabric
squares that friends and family decorate for the couple. The huppah is
attached to four poles, which can be
freestanding or held by four people. It
is considered a great honor to hold a
huppah pole, so this job should be
given to people very close to the bride
or groom.
6. Including Ritual Objects
Jewish weddings call for some
objects that, with a little thought, can
be enhanced to create special meaning for your wedding. For example, at
most Jewish weddings kippot
(yarmulkes) are provided for guests.
Many couples have them imprinted
with their name and wedding date;
others knit original kippot or paint or
decorate satin or felt ones to match
wedding decor. Couples also need a
kiddush cup for under the huppah,
and some couples are creating a new
tradition by using one heirloom cup
from each family. And no Jewish
wedding is complete without the
glass for breaking at the end of the
ceremony. Today’s couples are sometimes saving the pieces of their broken glass to be transformed into a
new piece of Judaica, such as a
mezuzah or candlesticks.
7. Making Pre-wedding Choices
One of the greatest things about
Jewish weddings is that the celebration
is spread out over time, giving you
maximum time to honor bride and
groom. The celebration may begin
with an aufruf, when bride and groom
(in traditional circles, only groom) are
called to the Torah for an aliyah. They
receive a mi shebeirakh blessing,
which invokes God’s blessing for the
bride and groom, and then they are
showered with candy, a symbol of
sweetness to come in their life together. Many couples host a kiddush lunch
following services. This can be an
ideal time to include the entire community in your wedding joy.
You and your partner should also
discuss whether you want to include
various traditional pre-wedding rituals
such as going to the mikvah (ritual
bath), separating from one another
during the week before your wedding,
and fasting on your wedding day.
These rituals can help the couple prepare spiritually for the seriousness of
the day to come. While a Jewish wedding is full of joy, it is also like a personal Yom Kippur for the bride and
groom, who want to enter their marriage with a pure heart. Many couples
choose to follow an altered version of
some of these traditions, such as eating
something light before the ceremony
to protect against fainting.
You and your partner should give
yourselves ample time to talk through
each of these seven steps, and to use
the process of planning your wedding
as an opportunity to learn more about
Jewish tradition and the way each of
you envisions your life together once
you step out from under the huppah,
hand in hand.
Writer/Educator Gabrielle KaplanMayer is the author of The Creative
Jewish Wedding Book and the host of
www.creativejewishwedding.com.
© Copyright 2002-2008 MyJewishLearning, Inc.
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Bridal Guide
The Jewish Community News
WEDDING CUSTOMS
Continued from Page 6
Thus, for a married man, the tallit now
functions as a reminder to keep his
mind off forbidden sexual situations.
We know that the mikvah (ritual bath)
is a very ancient institution because vestiges of one were found in the remains
of the destroyed Jewish fortress at Masada. In fact, the Christian ritual of baptism is based on mikvah immersion. In
Jewish tradition, the institution of the
mikvah is not custom but law.
According to the Torah, sexual relations between a husband and wife are
prohibited during the wife’s menstrual
period and for seven days after. During
that time, the woman is called tamay
(impure). This means she is forbidden
to take part in certain religious practices. Before sexual relations can
resume, the wife must go to the mikvah. (Although most woman visit an
indoor mikvah, any body of natural
water — a lake, a river, an ocean —
can be used.) A woman then immerses
herself two or three times and says an
appropriate blessing.
The only unmarried woman expected to go to the mikvah is the bride, just
prior her wedding. However, because
of the association of the mikvah with
the so-called “impurity” of menstruating women, many women have
shunned it, considering it to be a relic
of an archaic, patriarchal age. Very
recently, however, the mikvah has been
making a comeback as a symbol of
spiritual purification. In fact, there has
been a revival of the Sephardic custom
of turning the pre-wedding visit to the
mikvah into a celebration. It is not
unusual these days for a prospective
bride to visit the mikvah
with women friends
who strew flower petals
in her path as she
emerges from the water
and regale her with
wine, sweets, and song.
Other future brides gather with their female
friends and relatives on
the shores of a river or
lake and recite poems
and blessings prior to
her immersion. A picnic,
made even more memorable with singing and
dancing, often follows.
Another ancient custom that has lately been
transformed is the
ketubah (marriage contract). The earliest formulation was written by
Shimon ben Shetach,
head of the ancient rabbinical court at the end
of the first century C.E.
Spelling out a husband’s
obligations to his wife, the ketubah
was a radical document in its day
because it provided women with legal
status and rights in marriage. Up until
recently, the text for ketubot has
remained virtually unchanged. But
many couples who consider the traditional ketubah to be out of touch with
contemporary views on relationships
are creating new ones. Whereas the
original ketubot were about a man’s
obligations to his wife, modern versions of the document are typically
egalitarian. Many ketubot now include
parallel declarations of commitment
made by both bride and groom with a
joint declaration of faith in God and a
connection to the Jewish people.
Whereas the original ketubot were
written in Aramaic, modern documents are usually drafted in both
Hebrew and English. Having a ketubah
professionally calligraphed and made
even more special with customized
decorations has also become popular.
The chuppah (canopy) under which
the bride and groom stand during the
ceremony symbolizes a marriage
chamber. The bride leaves her father’s
house and enters her husband’s home
as a married woman. The Book of Joel
(2:16) states: “Let the bridegroom go
forth from his chamber and the bride
out of her pavilion” (chuppah). In
Eastern Europe during the 16th century, the portable canopy held up by four
poles came into use. In some communities, it was traditional for the bride
and groom to marry beneath a tallit,
often a family heirloom. An especially
poignant custom involving the chuppah was popular at one time In Israel:
A cedar tree was planted on the occasion of a child’s birth. When the child
married, the branches and leaves from
the tree were then used in the construction of the chuppah. Today,
although most synagogues own a stationary chuppah they will lend upon
request, some creative couples are
choosing to make their own.
Since there are no legal requirements as to a chuppah’s shape or
dimensions, couples have created
chuppahs and new chuppah traditions
that expressed their unique personalities. Some women hold chuppah parties — a gathering that resembles old
fashioned “quiltings” in that friends of
the bride create individual squares that
are later sewn together. Or, other
women who have friends less adept
with a needle and thread have their
friends decorate a piece of cloth with
special sayings and personal well
wishes, using fabric pens and paints.
And some couples are returning to the
custom of marrying beneath a tallit
that has special family significance.
Although wedding customs may be
cherished simply because of the history and tradition they represent, ultimately what keeps them alive is their
relevance in a changing world. Ancient
wedding customs imbued with a modern spirit provide couples with both a
link to the past and a hand in shaping
the future they will be sharing.
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11
Bridal Guide
The Jewish Community News
10 Steps to Avoid When Planning Your Wedding
by Mike Staff
Your wedding day is a time of celebration with
light-hearted, good times that create happy memories. Above all, the day is supposed to be fun.
The less stress you feel on your big day, the more
fun you’ll have. Great planning helps you avoid forgetting important details. Avoid these stumbling
blocks that threaten to ruin your happy day:
1. Not prioritizing your budget on the important
things. The banquet is over, and now the party begins.
If the majority of your reception time will be spent
listening to music and dancing, it makes sense to
allocate a proportionate amount of your budget to the
vendor responsible for your entertainment. Whether
it’s a band or a DJ, the key idea here is quality.
2. Not communicating with your vendors. Have a
thorough conversation with all of your vendors, and
let them know EXACTLY what you expect. Don’t
assume that, because they are professionals with
years of experience, they automatically know what
you want. Each bride’s vision is different. Vendors
want to avoid disappointing you, so share the details
of your dream with them from the beginning.
3. Not communicating your needs and expectations with your bridal party. Let each person in your
bridal party know, prior to your wedding day, where
they are supposed to be and when. Important
moments at your reception can’t be rehearsed, so
prepare a timetable for your bridal party that
includes the Grand Entrance, speeches and toasts,
bridal dances and any planned photo opportunities.
They will be grateful for your organization.
4. Waiting until the last minute. Finish everything
on your checklist at least two days before your wedding. You don’t want to be scribbling place cards at
2 a.m. on your wedding day. Give yourself and your
groom a task-free day or two before the wedding to
relax and rejuvenate.
5. Having too much to drink early in the day or the
night before. Not only is it a good idea to avoid alcohol until the final party hours, it’s best to stay hydrated
by drinking water or other non-alcoholic beverages. If
you can’t resist a good nip, be sure to eat something.
6. Spending too much time taking pictures. There
are the photographs of special moments you MUST
have, pictures of spontaneous moments that are FUN
to have, and staged photos that become a nuisance.
Don’t be afraid to say NO to your photographer
when you’ve had enough.
7. Losing your perspective. Keep your mind on
what the day is about, and on the things and people
that are really important to you. Don’t get bogged
down in so many details that you forget to have
FUN! If something goes wrong, try your best to take
deep breaths and think about the big picture. Don’t
let the little things that might go wrong ruin your
night. Above all, keep your sense of humor!
8. Getting stressed or overwhelmed. Eat! Talk!
Dance! Have Fun! Keep things simple. After you’ve
greeted your guests, let them find you if they wish
to visit.
9. Not planning an exit strategy. Assign end-ofthe-night tasks to others you trust, so you can leave
unburdened. Final duties might include gathering
gifts and transporting them “home,” paying the hall,
and removing decorations - including flowers, centerpieces and other wedding notions.
10. Immediately leaving on your honeymoon.
Try not to plan a 6 a.m. departure the day after your
wedding. Give yourselves a day to recuperate and
get your things together. Better yet, go back to work
for a week before leaving on your honeymoon.
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Bridal Guide
The Jewish Community News
How to Plan a Jewish Wedding
by eHow Weddings Editor
Jewish weddings can vary a great
deal depending on whether the bride
and groom are Orthodox, Conservative
or Reform in their beliefs. But there
are some important Jewish traditions
that many bridal couples want to
uphold.
Things you’ll need:
Wedding Gowns
Flowers
Wedding Rings
Wine Glasses
Huppah
Step1
Select a location — a synagogue or
temple, club, hall, restaurant, or hotel.
Step2
Have a ketubbah (wedding contract)
prepared. This describes the rights and
responsibilities of the bride and groom.
Step3
Include all members of your immediate families in your wedding party.
Typically, the parents of the bride and
groom walk them down the aisle.
Step4
Have a huppah, or wedding canopy,
in place for the ceremony.
Step5
Have yarmulkes on hand for guests
who do not bring their own.
Step6
Allow time prior to the ceremony
for a veiling ritual, in which the groom
places the veil over the face of his
bride after confirming she is indeed the
woman he plans to marry.
Step7
Use plain gold wedding bands,
without any engraving or stones, for an
Orthodox wedding. Place the ring on
the index finger of the right hand. Following the ceremony, modern brides
move the ring to the left hand.
Step8
Ask wedding guests to read the
seven blessings.
Step9
Bring a glass for the groom to break
at the conclusion of the ceremony. This
reminds people of the destruction of
More Wedding Ideas!
by Juhlin Youlein
Weddings are so fun and so exciting. So much goes into planning Weddings, it’s just unbelievable. I have
seen so many Weddings during my
lifetime that sometimes I wish I could
do my husbands and I Wedding over
again because I have all these awesome ideas now! But since that cant
happen I’ll just pass along some of the
awesome ideas I have come across.
One really popular thing to do is to
have ice sculptures. This one couple
has their initials in ice on the side and
their new last name letter smack in the
middle of them, and it was huge and
that’s not all! In the center of all the
letters was a constant stream of wine
flowing through it and coming out the
sides like a fountain. It was awesome
and everyone talked about that for a
few months after the wedding! So that
was pretty cool.
Another really fun idea that I saw at
a Wedding was for everyone’s name
tags for their seating assignment for the
reception, the couple had caterers make
chocolate tuxes on strawberries and on
the side wrote the peoples name and out
it on their plate. It was very pretty, original and really yummy!
A beautiful Wedding that I was at in
Scottsdale, Arizona was where the
ground for the outside Wedding was
completely emerged in red rose petals.
It was breathtaking. Be forewarned
that it may dye the bottom of your
Wedding dress pinkish though. The
bride at that Wedding knew that and
didn’t care. She really wanted every-
one to be sitting in roses. It was just
beautiful!
Something that is becoming very
popular now at Wedding is the signing
of the picture. At many Wedding I’ve
seen its very common to have a picture
of the bride and groom all dressed up in
their Wedding attire, or a picture of their
Engagement photo shoot and have the
picture incased inside a thickly matted
frame. That way, everyone that attends
the reception can sign the matte and that
is something the couple can hang in
their home to remind them of their wedding day and who was present.
Now have you heard of the very
trendy Dove release that people have
been doing lately? This is where after
a certain vow is made or during a
singing of a song the couple goes over
to a wooden cage and slowly releases a
cage full of Doves and it is suppose to
signify the unity of the marriage
union. Since doves mate for life, a pair
of Doves usually signifies the commitment and fidelity between a newly
married couple. If you get a flock of
Doves, this signifies the support from
family and friends for the newly married couple. So Dove releases are a
really awesome idea and people really
think it’s a beautiful ritual.
So many ideas and so little time to
plan a Wedding. Whatever you decide
to do make sure that you are true to
yourself and that the Wedding really
shows whom you and your spouse
really are, together.
© 2004-2008. Isnare.com
the temple and also calls attention to
the fragility of life and the need to care
for relationships, which can be broken
beyond repair.
Step10
Following the ceremony, the bride
and groom retire to a separate room
where they can be alone and eat some
food (usually broth) before rejoining
their guests at the reception. This period is known as yihud, or union.
Step11
Make sure the reception site has
enough room for circle dancing.
The bride’s family and friends sit on
the right side and the groom’s on the
left. Jewish weddings may not be held
during the Sabbath, which runs from
Friday at sundown to Saturday at sundown. Most Jewish weddings take
place on Saturday night or on Sunday.
A huppah is traditionally a solid piece
of fabric held up by four poles. It may
be made from any kind of fabric,
including embroidered velvet with
fringe, but is often made out of a
prayer shawl. A huppah may also be
formed of flowers.
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Bridal Guide
The Jewish Community News
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For a couple beginning the wedding
planning process, the options for wedding theme ideas can be overwhelming. A wedding theme can be a fun
reflection of the personalities of a couple or it can be elegant and classic.
When selecting from wedding theme
ideas, it is important to keep in mind
the venue location, the guest list and
the décor you wish to use to ensure a
memorable celebration of your marriage. Whether a couple would like to
have a unique theme or a traditional
feel, there are many different options
for wedding themes that can fit the
personality of any couple.
Beach Themes
Beach themes can be both fun and
elegant with the many décor and venue
options that work well with a beach or
ocean themed celebration. Classic
ocean hues are excellent options for a
color pallet. The use of sand, decorative shells, star fish and even live fish
are fun ways to extend your theme.
Taking your venue into consideration
while choosing your décor is very
important. If your wedding is in a traditional synagogue, your beach theme
is best carried out in your reception. If
you have selected a seaside outdoor
venue, playing off the already beautiful atmosphere can be enhanced by
using paper lanterns, brightly colored
flowers and shells or beach rocks to
line your aisle.
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Thankfully for many college sweethearts, many more options for tactfully
including your alma mater in your wedding day plans is becoming easier with
more product options available. There
are several classy options for adding a
little piece of your history as a couple
in to your special day. Consider not
destroying the color pallet you’ve had
in mind since day one of wedding planning by using alma mater colors at a
minimum, such as an insignia of the
schools name written in white on your
cake or using the school song as your
entry song to your reception.
Environmentally Friendly
Going green is no longer just a
trend, it is becoming a requirement of
some brides and grooms. When considering wedding theme ideas, going
environmentally friendly can be a way
of bringing the freshest, local food and
flowers to your celebrations. You can
also consider using recycled paper
products when possible, especially
with invitations and décor. The options
for going green can make a statement
or be an underlying intent by the couple. An additional benefit to going
green is that at times there can be a
cost benefit to the products you select
by choosing environmentally conscious, local resources.
Color Themes
If you are known for a signature
color, it can be a fun way to share
your personality with your wedding
party guests. Wedding theme ideas
often generate color selections based
on a color pallet preference of the
bride or groom or both, but the color
itself can be your theme. Having a
customized drink for your guests with
infrequently used colors of green or
blue is a popular option. Swathing the
wedding and reception site in fabrics,
flowers and lights in your chosen
color will set the theme for your day.
However, depending on your color
choice, you should be ready to compromise. If you are set on tinting the
frosting of your cake in your signature pretty pink color, then a chocolate frosted grooms cake may be a
great compromise.
When selecting from the long list of
wedding theme ideas, it is important
for it to be a collaborative decision.
Much of the remaining decisions from
a wedding planning perspective hinges
on the theme choice, so this decision
should be made carefully. Whether
you are planning to go traditional with
your wedding theme or you wish to
show off your personality, there are
many creative wedding theme ideas to
choose from.
© 2004-2008. Isnare.com
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Bridal Guide
The Jewish Community News
He Pays, She Pays: A General Guide to Wedding
Expenses
by Bradlley McKoy
Organizing your own wedding is never easy. Setting a budget is even harder. But it’s also the most
important thing in planning a wedding. So go ahead
and talk to your groom and your families about the
expenses. But before you do that, read this article so
you don’t have think yourself out, trying to figure
out who pays for what.
So you have decided to tie the knot? You are excited and happy, and you can’t wait to start planning your
big day. But unless it’s going to be your fifth wedding,
which is not at all impossible these days, you need to
know how the whole thing works, especially the wedding expenses. While your cultural background and
personal preferences will ultimately dictate what will
happen on your big day, here is a general guideline
regarding wedding expenses that you might want to
consider before you start organizing.
Splitting the Bill
In older days and in Oriental cultures, only one
party — either the bride or the groom — was
expected to pay for all the expenses of the wedding.
In some cases, the groom or the bride were also
expected to pay a high price for the other called the
dowry. The dowry could be either money, jewelry,
or other valuable properties. But today, the bride
and groom can both breathe easy since wedding
expenses are now typically split between her, the
groom, and their families, and wedding dowries are
no longer expected.
wedding ring, as well as the engagement ring. He
must also pay for the marriage license, the groomsmen gifts, accommodation for out-ofstate groomsmen, boutonnieres and
gloves, ties and accessories for the male
attendants, going-away corsage, and corsages for lady attendants and the mothers, fee for the judge or clergyperson,
flowers and wedding gift for the bride,
and the honeymoon.
ding parties or dinners.
© 2004-2008. Isnare.com
HERTRON STONE SYSTEMS
The Groom’s Family and Other Attendants Share of Expenses
Since the groom covers most of the
expenses, the groom’s family is only
expected to pay for the remaining
expenses such as the rehearsal dinner,
clothing expenses for the wedding, travel and accommodation expenses, and
wedding gifts for the couple.
As for the attendants and the matron
of honor, they are generally expected
to pay for their own wedding clothes
and attires, including their travel
expenses. In cases when they are
unable to, they must inform the couple
so that they are able to arrange something. And in all cases, they are
expected to bring a wedding gift. One
wedding gift and one shower gift
would be enough, even if the matron of
honor or guests are invited to several pre-wed-
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What the Bride Pays For
Generally, the bride typically shoulders expenses
for the following: wedding ring for the
groom, wedding favors for the attendants, and accommodation for out-ofWedding Gifts
state guests. While it is not imperative,
the bride is also expected to present a
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Bride’s Family’s Share of Expenses
The bride’s family is expected to pay
for her wedding attire, as well as the
announcements, invitations, and thank
you notes, seating assignment chart and
mailing costs, napkins, bridesmaid luncheon, flowers and accessories for the
bridesmaids, ring bearer and flower
girl, ceremony costs, transportation
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Summer 2008
15
Bridal Guide
The Jewish Community News
Etiquette for Wedding Invitation - Seating
Plan Etiquette for Your Wedding
by Mary A. Jane
Now that you have planned a beautiful reception that everyone will enjoy
as they help you celebrate the happiest
time of your life, the next step is to
make the seating arrangements. You
should seat everyone correctly so that
you do not violate seating plan etiquette by seating someone where they
are not supposed to be. Planning seating can be quite a task if you are planning a big wedding. Of course this is
not true of small weddings. If your
guest list is indeed large, you may
want to buy some computer software
that will help you arrange and
rearrange your seating chart without
too much of a problem. Using post-it
notes will work well for small wedding
but is quite inconvenient if the reception will be large.
Begin with the head table, which is
the easiest. The head table is long and
straight and is placed in at the front of
the reception space. It is obviously
arranged so that it is facing the wedding guests. The bride and groom take
their seats at the center of the table.
Wedding etiquette allows for flexibility when it comes to if the bride should
be seated on the right hand side or the
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left hand side.
The bride’s parents are seated next to
the bride and they can sit in any order.
If parents are remarried, this will be a
complication. You may want to have
them sit at a different table and have
your bridal attendants sit in their place.
The bride’s maid of honor should be
seated after her parents. These tips go
for the groom’s parents as well if there
has been a remarriage and the former
spouses cannot get along.
Another easy table is the kid’s table.
Older children do not have to sit with
their parents. They will even feel
important. There should be no problems if they know they will be seated
with other children. They will enjoy it!
Seating plan etiquette lets this table be
placed where adults will not want to be
seated. Seating children near speakers
would be just perfect.
After you have planned out the seating for the head table and kids table,
seating plans get a little more difficult
and complicated. It is best to attempt
to keep people that know each other
together at the same table if that is possible. Co-workers will probably feel
more comfortable sitting with each
other if they do not know your family
well. Seating plan etiquette suggests
that you should try to keep people of
similar age groups together if you need
to seat them with people that they may
not know. Another good tip is to try to
balance the number of males and
females at a table. Try to keep the
numbers even.
You should consider particular circumstances when you are seating certain guests. Senior citizens, small children and women who are pregnant
may need to be placed near the
restrooms. If any of your guests have a
disability, keep this in mind as well.
Those giving a toast should be placed
near the front of the room while exes
should be kept as far away from each
other as possible if they don’t get
along with each other.
It is a good idea to have a seating
chart near the entrance of the reception
hall so that your guests can find their
seats. You might want to use a map of
numbered tables so that it is easier for
them to know where they should sit.
Every table in your reception hall
should have a number placed in the
center. Place cards should be put at
each seat and legible if you have
assigned seats. Seating plan etiquette
lets you just assign a table if that is
what you prefer.
With a few seating plan etiquette
tips you will hopefully be able to plan
the best seating plan for your wedding.
© 2004-2008. Isnare.com
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Bridal Guide
The Jewish Community News
Public Information • Public Information • Public Information
The Airport Report
IS YOUR CHANDELIER
MISSING SOMETHING?
by Sean C. Hunter, Director of Aviation
Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport
Hurricane Preparedness at
Armstrong International Airport
June 1 is the declared first day of
the 2008 Hurricane Season. I hope you
are reviewing your preparedness plan,
should it be needed. A tremendous tool
to help you develop your plan is the
free Louisiana Citizen Awareness &
Disaster Evacuation Guide. You can
obtain a copy by calling the Louisiana
State Police at 1-800-469-4828 or the
Governor’s Office of Homeland Security & Emergency Preparedness at 1225-925-7500. It is loaded with useful
information and evacuation routes in
the event you should have to leave the
area, due to an impending storm or
another type of disaster.
Louis Armstrong New Orleans
International Airport prepares for
many types of emergencies, including
Tropical Storms and Hurricanes.
The Airport’s plan includes coordination with local, state and federal governmental officials; airlines;
tenants and vendors who operate at
the Airport. In the event of a severe
storm category, Law Enforcement
will be deployed to the Airport to
ensure a secure environment. Armstrong International Airport operates on the same radio network as
local law enforcement and has other
state of the art communications
equipment that can be deployed, if
there is a loss of normal communication systems.
If a tropical storm or hurricane is
approaching the New Orleans Metro
area and River Parishes, the Airport
will remain open for as long as flights
continue to operate. While the time
that airlines cease flight operations
may vary, the last flight normally
departs approximately 12 hours before
tropical storm force winds hit the
Louisiana coast. If you plan on traveling by air out of the region, plan early.
If you are traveling with pets, check
with your air carrier prior to coming to
the airport. Please be aware that not all
of the airlines allow pets and there are
federal limits as to the number of pets
allowed on each flight.
Also critical in the Airport’s Hurricane Plan, in concert with the surrounding region, is the restricted
access to the Airport facilities. If you
are traveling on a scheduled flight
when a hurricane is approaching,
please carry with you some form of
flight confirmation. This can be an
email flight confirmation, boarding
pass or ticket receipt. If you do not
have this documentation, it may delay
your entrance to the Airport terminal.
Also, for the latest information regarding your scheduled flight, refer to your
airlines’ web site or reservations number or the Airport’s web site at
www.flymsy.com.
Those who plan to participate in
city or parish assisted evacuations
should follow the directions of their
city or parish and proceed to those
designated pick up locations. It should
also be noted that the Airport is not a
shelter and no passengers or residents
will be allowed to ride out a storm at
the Airport. Should the call for evacuation come this season, please monitor
your radio and/or television and follow the instructions given. It could
save your life and the life of your
loved ones.
We hope we have another hurricane-free season, but in the event a
storm does pass our way, it is imperative that we be prepared to respond in
a fashion that keeps us out of harm’s
way. If you have not made evacuation
plans for this year, do so immediately.
Working together, we can assure our
safety during times of crisis.
Sean Hunter can be reached at
www.flymsy.com.
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The only directory
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Bridal Guide
The Jewish Community News
Top 11 Guest Complaints about Wedding Receptions
by Mike Staff
We all know the saying “You can’t
please everyone”! While that may be
true, these types of guest criticisms are
easily avoided by careful planning —
and addressing them now will make
everyone’s memories of your wedding
day so much nicer.
the time between a two o’clock wedding and a six o’clock reception. Try to
keep the down time to a minimum.
When it isn’t possible to hold the
events within an hour or so of each
other, ask the hall if it will open its
doors early for your visiting guests
(and ask them if there’s a charge).
Other options include asking relatives
or close friends to invite them to their
home for a light snack, or arranging a
hospitality suite for them at their hotel.
8. The centerpiece was so large that
I couldn’t see or talk to guests seated
across the table. Smaller, shorter
arrangements are best. Your centerpiece shouldn’t be the center of attention (or main topic of conversation) at
the table.
9. I was offended that I had to pay
for drinks. Open bars are the accepted
norm. If your budget is tight, offer
wine and beer only — or limit drink
choices to “call” brands. You can also
close the bar during the dinner hour to
save on costs.
10. The bride and groom didn’t stop
by to say hello. Make the rounds of
guest tables at your reception, but
don’t spend too much time at each. A
quick greeting, thank you or compliment will suffice.
11. I was never thanked for my gift!
Share this task with your husband.
Divide your list, write your notes at the
same time, and make a pact to
finish a certain number every
night until they are finished.
Dangle a carrot in front of your
noses. When the last note is
FINALLY written, reward yourselves with a special bottle of
wine or dinner out. It is customary to mail thank-you notes
within three months. You don’t
want to wait that long for your
carrot anyway, do you?
© 2004-2008. Isnare.com
1. The DJ was obnoxious or played
lousy music. Find the best wedding DJ
available using recommendations from
other brides and the advice of wedding
industry professionals.
2. The music was TOO LOUD. Again,
hire a great DJ who is experienced and
focused on creating a fantastic overall
experience for you and your guests.
Other suggestions to avoid this common complaint: Move tables and
chairs away from speakers and seat
older guests further from the sound
equipment.
3. Speeches were TOO LONG and we
couldn’t decipher the words. Keep
speeches under five minutes. Ideally,
they should last between two and five
minutes. A good DJ will spend a few
moments with each person making a
toast or speech, teaching him or her
how to correctly operate and speak
into the microphone. He will also use a
quality microphone!
4. We didn’t know anyone at our table.
Take the time to carefully plan your
seating arrangement, placing guests at
tables with others they know. They
don’t have to be fast friends, just
acquaintances or people with some
kind of connection. Try to seat out-oftown guests, who aren’t likely to know
anyone, with others having similar
interests.
5. I resented paying a dollar to dance
with the bride. Unless it’s a longstanding family tradition, and you will
offend someone if you break the ritual,
the dollar dance is best forgotten.
6. We stood forever in the receiving
line. The bride & groom, and their parents are the only required greeters.
Better yet, couples should
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19
Bridal Guide
The Jewish Community News
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Wedding Calendar and Checklist
by T. M. Lung
You will need to spend a lot of time
on your wedding planning if you
would like to make it unique and perfect. In fact, most people will start
planning for the wedding a year
before. However, you will find that
you will be the busiest around a month
before your wedding. And you should
read the points below to make sure that
you will not miss any important issues.
You will need to visit all the wedding vendors a month before your
wedding. You have to confirm all the
details with the vendors. This is
because you will need to allow about a
7HERE4HE%XQUISITE)S.OT %XPENSIVE
-ETAIRIE2Ds3UITE5s
month to work on the details. And they
will also need the time to make
changes if it is necessary.
One of the things you have to take
care of is the wedding invitations. You
should try to check if you have already
sent the invitations to all your guests.
If not, you have to send them out as
soon as possible. You may even need
to contact your guests by phone or
email so that you will confirm with
them whether they will come or not.
Another important issue you have to
consider is the wedding dresses. The
bridal shop will probably need a few
weeks to alter the dresses if it is
needed. As a result, you should
go to the bridal shop and have a
final fitting of the dresses. Otherwise you will not have
enough time to alter the dresses.
You have to get the marriage
license around two weeks
before your wedding. It is also
important to remember that you
should confirm with the caterer
on the food and menu in your
reception. Remember to check
with the caterer that the food
will be enough. You should tell
your caterer the final number of
guests so that the caterer can
prepare enough food.
You may probably be very nervous
a week before your wedding. Yet, you
should plan ahead. It is the time to
think about your honeymoon. You
should try to pack for your honeymoon
if you decide to leave right after your
wedding.
Some couples will consider their
honeymoon more important than the
actual wedding. As a result, they may
start packing even earlier. However,
generally, a week before will be good
enough. You should also check with
the travel agents your itinerary so that
you can make sure that there will be
nothing wrong with your honeymoon
plan.
You should try to be relaxed the day
before your wedding. Of course you
may be very nervous but you have to
learn to be relaxed. A good sleep is a
must since you will need the energy
for the event tomorrow.
The big day has finally come.
Remember to have a good breakfast.
You may not have time to have lunch
in the afternoon. Again, you should try
to be relaxed. It is your big day and
you should enjoy the day with your
guests, as well as your spouse!
© 2004-2008. Isnare
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Summer 2008
Bridal Guide
The Jewish Community News
Make Up For Your Wedding Day
by Karen Lincoln
You, you, you
One of the most important days of your life will
be your wedding day. You will be the center of
attention for the full day with all eyes, as well as all
cameras on you. This is how it should be as the
wedding day is your day! A day all about you, your
life changing vows to your man, your dress, hair
and make up, your family there to celebrate you.
Looking your best should be at the top of your plans
so when the dress is sorted out then be careful not
to forget your make up as it plays an important part
in making you look perfect. Your dazzling smile
will be set alight by the perfect make up and glowing complexion.
Skin and glow
If you happened to be blessed with good skin then
half the battle is over as your skin is the most important feature of your face. Unfortunately if you do
have troublesome skin, such as sunspots or
acne then don’t worry you can still glow, you
will just have to work hard at getting it right
for your wedding day. Once you have your
skin glowing then arranging the make-up for
your wedding day is more fun than a chore.
Your skin needs to be soft to touch and easy
to handle, which means that it is important
that you use a good moisturizer. If you have
oily skin then don’t aggravate your skin as it
will only make it oilier. Oily skin can
become very difficult to handle and will not
help with the make-up for your wedding day.
If you are having regular facials before your
wedding then make sure you go for your last
one at least one month in before the big day
to let your skin settle. Remember the key to
flawless make-up is good skin.
You will need to create a good base for
your make up, which will be easier done now
your skin is perfect. If you use an oil based
foundation it will help prevent against your
make-up wearing off and will also decrease
the chances your make up smudging and
blotching. The idea is for your foundation to
give a barely-there look. You will want to consider
using a powder blush instead of a cream based blush
as the powder will last longer.
applying make-up for your wedding day, as this
makes it difficult to conceal and will lead to
smudges. Make sure you pluck, thread or wax your
brows before your wedding day; if you wait until
the day then it could lead to redness, which
becomes very difficult to conceal. Use layering of
eye shadow for a good effect and use at least 2
coats of mascara to open up your eyes on your
wedding day.
© 2004-2008. Isnare.com
The sparkle in your eyes
On your wedding day every emotion you feel
will be seen in your eyes! The saying can be quoted as, “the eyes are the windows to your soul”, and
it is true. On your wedding day everyone will see
the love in your eyes, but they will also see if you
are tired! You will not
be able to hide tired
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21
Bridal Guide
The Jewish Community News
Top Five Wedding Must Do’s
by Mar McLaws
I love to see brides running about the
town trying to plan their wedding. It puts
a smile on my face. I knew this bride who
was absolutely exact on every detail of
her wedding. I remember thinking “Calm
down, its just a Wedding.” But, when the
Wedding day came, I couldn’t believe my
eyes. It was perfect and just absolutely
beautiful!
I’ll share with you some of my
favorite things at her Wedding.
First, there was this absolutely stun-
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ning Ice Sculpture that was shaped in the
form of her and her new grooms initials.
It was very cool! But this wasn’t just any
ice sculpture. This sculpture had apple
juice running in through the middle of
their names and pouring out the sides
into an ice bowl and that’s where people
scooped out their drink. I was so
impressed! So remember, the décor at
your Wedding and at your Reception are
a really big deal. Decorations really set
the tone and atmosphere of the whole
Wedding evening and you want to make
sure that it is the correct mood that you
wanted created there that evening.
Second, another cool thing she had at
her wedding was a live string quartet
orchestra. It was beautiful and what a
difference a live orchestra made than
having strings playing on the cassette
player. It made more people feel like
dancing with their loved ones, which
really made the evening a lot more fun.
Choice of entertainment is very important as well. Make sure that you choose
carefully the type of entertainment and
music you want at your Wedding. It will,
like the decorations, set a mood and feeling within the Wedding Day and Reception time.
Third, I noticed something that was
very different, colors everywhere. This
bride decided to not pick just 3 or 4 colors for her Wedding, but instead, decided to use all the colors of the rainbow. It
was the most amazing sight. Everything
was cheerful looking and so bright and
colorful. Choosing colors is so important. As said before, certain colors create
certain moods and so make sure you
choose color that can create the type of
setting you want at your Wedding and
Reception.
Forth, the food was amazing. Not only
was the look of the food fabulous, but also
the taste was to die for. It’s been over 3
years since that Wedding and I still
remember how amazing the food was.
Guest remember the food. Good food
equals a good party so don’t forget that.
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At her wedding the strawberries all were
dressed in Tuxedos made from dark and
white chocolate, which was pretty original, and everyone was talking about it.
Swedish meatballs were heating over an
open fire and the smell was so yummy! So
remember, food is a huge part of the Wedding Day and the Reception, so choose
wisely and make sure you hire someone
or a company that your really trust.
Fifth, and sometimes seems most
important is the bridal dress. Take time
and enjoy this process. My friend took 4
months to find he dress. But it was such
a fun experience for her and she was
thrilled with the outcome. She found
exactly what she wanted.
So enjoy this time of life as you plan
your Wedding. You’ll be happy you took
the time to create and unforgettable
experience.
© 2004-2008. Isnare.com
Throwing a Bridal Shower
by Holly Clandon
If you are planning a bridal shower
for a friend who is getting married, you
may be feeling overwhelmed at the
amount of planning that can go into this
event. Guests need to be contacted, food
needs to be made, games need to be
planned, this is no simple task! This article outlines the key points that must be
addressed to throw a successful bridal
shower.
The first essential step is to plan a date.
Most bridal showers are scheduled for the
early afternoon on a weekend. Give guests
ample notice and coordinate your plans
with the bride. The bride is probably feeling at lot of pressure during this time, so
work with her to make sure she’s free.
Plan the shower to occur sometime
between three months and three weeks
prior to the wedding.
The next step, of course, is developing a guest list. Typically, the Maid of
Honor and/or the bridesmaids host the
bridal shower. Ask the bride for a list
of people she’d like invited to the
shower, with their names, addresses
and phone numbers. If someone is not
invited to the wedding, they should not
be included in the shower invitation
list. After all, it’s insulting to ask someone to bring a gift to the shower if the
assumption is that they are not a close
enough friend to invite to the wedding.
There are some exceptions, such as in
the case of a destination wedding or a
small wedding with only immediate
family invited. Usually, all female relatives on both sides of the family are
invited to the shower, as well as the
bride’s friends.
Planning the menu for the event is the
next step. Since most bridal showers take
place in the afternoon, light snacks and
I n
H o m e
light drinks, such as wine, are appropriate. Its fine to ask a close friend to assist
with bringing food, but it’s inappropriate
to ask all guests to assist with food and
drinks. After all, it’s quite rude to ask people to bring a gift to an event and also
bring food as well. Always offer nonalcoholic drinks for those that prefer not
to imbibe.
Finally, it is traditional to play games
at a bridal shower. This is a fun way to
get guests involved and break the ice
between everyone. Most of the games
center around the bride, but everyone
should be able to get involved. Offering
small prizes is also fun for the guests.
There are many different types of games
that can be played, everything from G
rated to R rated. Of course use your discretion depending on who is going to be
there! Two to three games is usually
enough, and can be used to break up the
gift opening if there are many guests to
prevent them from getting too bored.
A couple of other factors to be aware
of: The bride’s mother should not be the
one planning the bridal shower. This is
viewed by many to be a “gift grab” and
is typically the task of the bride’s attendants. Once again, no one should be
invited that is not invited to the wedding.
If a guest requests to bring a friend with
them (you would be surprised how often
this happens), politely decline and
explain that they would probably feel
out of place anyway. You should also be
sure to have a camera on hand or your
wedding photographer. Try and take a
picture of all the guests and plenty of the
bride interacting with her family and
friends. This will made a wonderful
scrapbook later on, and leave her with
the fond memories of the day.
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Bridal Guide
The Jewish Community News
Wedding Dresses...
by Juhlin Youlein
Today I’m really focusing on Wedding dresses. I have seen so many
“mishaps” with dresses and so many
that make the girls absolutely look like
a Queen.
So how do you make sure that you look
like a Queen and not .. well, not something else!? You listen and watch your
body. And I’ll tell you how to do that.
We are all shaped differently weather we like it or not. I know, I know…
we all want to look like Paris Hilton
with those long legs and thin toned
arms right? Well, you are not Paris
Hilton, so get over it! You are you and
that is something very special! Be
proud of the way you are.
I am half-Swedish and half-Scottish. I have long lean muscles like the
Swedish girls do, however, I also have
very broad shoulders and muscular
thighs from my Scottish ancestry. Now
for my Wedding dress I really wanted
a mermaid style dress. You know,
where it’s tight all the way down and
flares right there at the knees. Well, as
much as my soon to be husband loved
every inch of me he had to honestly
tell me that it was not the right style
for my particular body because of my
broad shoulders.
I was angry and insisted it’s what all
the stars wear and that it’s beautiful.
He agreed that all the stars and famous
people wore those, but also reminded
me that half of them starve themselves
and are stick thin, which I am not, nor
every want or will be!
After giving it some thought I found
a dress that mimicked the mermaid style
dress, but that was a bit more accommodating to my body style. It extenuated the beautiful parts of my body and
hid the not so “up to par parts.”
I know you may think it mean that
my husband did that, however, I couldn’t be more grateful to him. If I would
of chosen the mermaid style because
Hollywood always does, I would have
been self-conscious all night and would
of just hated the pictures and videos of
my Wedding day. Instead, when I look
back, I see a glowing Queen that is
happy with herself and in love!
So here are some of my suggestions. First, get online and figure out
your body style. Are you a pear shape,
an orange, and apple, a banana, an
hourglass, etc? There are a lot of different names that we call different
shapes and sizes, so find your shape!
Once you’ve found your shape, fall
in love with yourself. If you are unhappy with the way you look, others will
notice that. So either fall in love with
your shape and embrace it, or change
it. Work out, tone up, or fill out more,
whatever you feel like you need to do
to be happy… than do it! It’s a good
life lesson anyway.
Once you’ve either learned to love
yourself or change something’s to
make you more happy… then go out
Wedding dress shopping.
Pear shapes, make sure you go for
tighter on the top and flowy on the bottom making your upper body more
defined as your big bottom half is slenderized by the beautiful flowy bottom
part of the dress.
Banana shapes, you are the ones
that can do mermaid styles in you like.
If not, then try and go for things that
are tighter all around. Banana shaped
being to look very frumpy when the go
for bigger dresses.
Oranges, you have a harder time.
Wither you are just bigger, or bigger
boned, this is a hard shape to work
with. But I’ll tell you what the best
idea for you is. Go with a tight dress! I
know, you think that’s crazy right,
well, here is the kicker… over the
dress wear a sheer shall that drapes
across your back and is held by your
arms and covers that tummy in the
front. It allows you not to be so
frumpy, but not skin tight where you
feel uncomfortable all night. You will
be happy with that decision.
All in all, love who you are and
make sure not to wear something just
cause the stars are. Make yourself feel
and look like a Queen!
© 2004-2008. Isnare
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Summer 2008
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Bridal Guide
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The Jewish Community News
What Bridal Jewelry Should I Wear?
Wedding Jewelry By The Seasons
by Amy Drescher
What with the myriad details required, planning a wedding can be overwhelming and more than a little stressful.
Music, favors, seating arrangements, food, attendants’
gifts…it’s enough to make a frazzled girl elope. Luckily,
bridal jewelry is easy to choose if you let your personal
style — and the feel of the season — shine through. Follow
this handy guide for picking the right bridal jewelry to go
with the time of year in which you plan to wed and you
can’t go wrong.
• Winter: Planning a winter wedding? Cozy indoor winter
weddings are characterized by elegance and sophistication
— think a softly lit, warm, festive party with the crisp, black
night air as a backdrop. Classic pearls and diamonds are
your best bet here. They’ll beautifully complement the
heavier drapes and fabrics of a winter bridal gown, and look
just gorgeous in the glittering night. Think pearl drop earrings, diamond and pearl pendants, or a multi-strand pearl
or CZ-encrusted cuff bracelet. A popular trend right now,
according to Brides magazine, is to add contrast to your
wedding-day white with a black belt, clutch or hair accessory. “These cool opposites combine for graphic glamour.”
This cosmopolitan look is perfect for winter. A long sophisticated black pearl necklace would look especially sharp
against a black-sashed gown.
• Spring: A spring wedding is the perfect opportunity to
lighten up your look. The choice here? Light green gemstones like aventurine or prehnite (think the color of new
shoots of grass) or freshwater cultured pearls, which come
in a wide range of pastel colors that are luminously beautiful and very affordable — and perfect for a spring wedding. Lavender pearls, pink pearls, and today’s hottest
color — orange
pearls — are all
easy to find on the
Internet. Bonus:
These shades are
Best Wishes
To All Of Our
Friends and
Associates in the
Jewish Community
so luminously flattering (not over the top color-saturated)
that they’ll make your skin glow and your features pop. If
you choose something green, choose one bold piece so as
not to overwhelm your dress, like an aventurine cuff
bracelet or a prehnite-and-pearls necklace. For a uniform
look, choose jewelry for your attendants in a matching hue
and consider a matching sash. If you’re wearing a lavender
pearl strand, for example, have your bridesmaids wear
lavender pearl pendants or lavender pearl bracelets and perhaps a dress with a lavender sash. Or try an elegant lavender clutch.
• Summer: Summer weddings just radiate a laid-back beach
vibe. (Think Drew Barrymore with flowers in her hair, boho
Kate Hudson or a barefoot Julia Roberts.) If you’re getting
married in July, August or September, it’s all about the
sandy beaches, outdoor dance floors, and coral, mother-ofpearl, pearl and jade jewelry. If your dress is sophisticated or
ornate, stick to classic pearl jewelry, but if you’re a little
more laid-back, mother-of-pearl, coral and even wooden
accessories, depending on the setting, can look great. Superstitious? According to WeddingChannel.com, jade symbolizes good luck, health and prosperity in many Asian cultures, but don’t buy jade jewelry for yourself — tradition
dictates that it must be given to you. Timeless picks: go for
a jade ring or jade necklace.
• Fall: Why opt for all classic white? While diamond and
pearl jewelry is always in style for brides, today it’s acceptable to incorporate blazing reds, oranges and browns. In
fact, orange is all the rage right now. To incorporate a blast
of color into your wedding day jewelry, choose a pearl
choker with a stunning ruby centerpiece, a pearl necklace or
pearl earrings made with rich brown pearls, or earrings or a
bracelet made of citrine. You’ll stand out and feel beautiful,
and best of all, you’ll be able to enjoy your jewelry long
after the big day is over.
© 2004-2008. Isnare.com
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Bridal Guide
The Jewish Community News
Wedding Reception Table Centerpieces
by Karen Lincoln
The traditional decorative option for
wedding reception table centerpieces is
generally an arrangement of flowers. But
there are far many more elegant, creative
and cost-friendly options to be considered. Whether you choose to order professional centerpieces or you want to
create your wedding reception table centerpieces yourself, table decorations are
an opportunity to customize your wedding theme.
Candles
One cost efficient and elegant centerpiece option is candles. While providing
warm lighting to enhance the ambiance
of your reception, candles double as both
a lighting and decorative element. Using
groups of candles in various sizes and
shapes wrapped with ribbon to coordinate with your color scheme are all items
easy to make. At a local craft store you
can purchase paint intended for use on
candles. You can use freehand designs or
stencils to write words to commemorate
your occasion such as Love, Joy and Forever. You can then offer to let your guests
take a candle home as a table favor. Be
sure to consider flammability issues
when adhering anything to the candles.
Ensure that you have considered your
venue if selecting candles. If you are
holding an outdoor wedding reception
the weather may impact your candles,
whether it is due to wind or heat.
Potted Flowers
Using potted flowers instead of cut
flowers for your wedding reception table
centerpieces is a way to reuse flowers.
You can purchase bulk quantities of popular, colorful flowers and place them in
individual small decorative pots. The
exposed dirt can be covered with craft
moss, marbles, glass rocks or river
rocks. Using a colored fabric swatch or
even a hemmed cloth napkin to match
your pallet, place the flowers in a circle
on the fabric so they look like a single
arrangement instead of individual pots.
These centerpieces can also double as
take home gifts for your guests. Be careful to consider the time of year of your
wedding to ensure you can use the color
pallet you were planning.
Pictures
Your friends and family will be
delighted to find you have remembered
them with wedding reception table centerpieces made with photos. Using pictures is especially effective if you have a
planned table seating and use old or fun
photos of the guests seated at that particular table. If you happen to have a table
of people that are people who are friends
of parents or other family members, then
using fun childhood pictures of the bride
All About Your Gift Registry
by T. M. Lung
The gift registry is very important in a
sense that it will let your guests know
what you would like to get for your wedding gift. Your guests will also find it a lot
easier because they will know exactly
you want. If you do not have a gift registry, a guest may buy you a TV set which
you do not really need.
Although it is very important for you
to have a gift registry, you have to set it
with the greatest care. If you do not do
so, two guests may buy you the same
gift and this will of course be a problem.
To this end you may want to have some
tips for your gift registry. Below are
some guides for you!
You will first of all think about what you
really need or what you really want. You
should put what you actually prefer in your
gift registry. For example, if you know some
new kitchen ware, you will probably put the
items in the registry. On the other hand, if
you need a new bed for your new home, you
will also put it in the gift registry.
To this end, you should also understand that your lifestyle will also play a
crucial role in setting your gift registry.
For instance, if you are someone who
loves oil paintings very much, you may
include some oil paints in your gift registry so that your guests will know what
they should buy you.
In fact, you will need to visit various
department stores before you set the gift
registry. In most cases you can take a
look at the catalogues. You may also perform a brief search on the web to see if
there are any items you particularly love.
Then you will start creating the draft of
the gift registry. However, you should
bear in mind that you should not just
rely on the images you see on the web.
You have to go to the shops personally
so that you can see the real thing.
The prices of the items should also be
one of your main considerations. It will
be quite impossible for one single guest
to buy you an extremely expensive item.
Of course it will be possible if a few
guests will buy one item together. Yet
you may need to try to find some ways
to tell your guests to do so. One of the
ways is to tell your best friend so that he
/ she will help to spread the messages.
You should remember that you need to
set your gift registry smartly such that
you will not get any duplicated item.
As mentioned, you are creating the
gift registry because you would like to
let your guests have a brief idea on what
you want to get. However, you should
never expect that you will get exactly
what you want. The most essence of the
gift is for your guests to celebrate with
you and bless you!
© 2004-2008. Isnare.com
and groom can be a solution. Instead of
using picture frames, try using decorative
wire photo holders or magnetic clips.
Fun and a Little Quirky
If traditional isn’t the way you like to
express yourself, you will find wedding
reception table centerpieces are an excellent and subdued way to show these quirks.
Try using live items such as colorful Beta
or goldfish in clear glass vases with flower
arrangements sitting on top if you want to
surprise your guests with something that
starts out looking traditional until you get
close enough to see the fish. You can also
use brightly colored sugar candies, in
large, clear glass containers, giving the
sweets away at the night’s end as take
home sweets for your guests.
Your personality can shine and be
shared with wedding reception table
centerpieces. Bridesmaids usually love
to help with creative and crafty items
and you should let them so your time is
freed up for other things you wish to do.
Whatever centerpiece you choose, keep
it in mind about what you plan to do
with 25 or more centerpieces once your
wedding reception is over, a concept
which can help you narrow down your
design decision.
© 2004-2008. Isnare.com
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Summer 2008
25
Bridal Guide
The Jewish Community News
The Marriage Relationship
3 Foundation Stones To Building A Lasting Love Marriage Relationship
by Anne Amore
Building a strong love marriage
relationship is an art. But there are 3
simple-to-remember relationship tips
that can ease you both along the pathway to a lifetime of married love, passion and romance.
1. The commitment to love
In getting married, you agree to love
one another through thick and thin. But
most of us have been fooled into thinking that love is something that we experience and feel rather than something
we do. Start to reframe your understanding of what love is. Love in marriage is a verb. You have to work at it.
Your commitment is your promise to
work at it, throughout your married life.
The couples who both work at creating
love throughout their married life, get
to experience the rewards of an ongoing, blissful love marriage relationship.
2. Marriage is a self-improvement
project
Marriage is the start line not the finish line. You thought you could give up
and veg out once you’ve landed that
big fish husband of yours? You think
you can slob around now you’ve got a
ring on that gorgeous girl’s finger?
Perish the thought! Carry with you the
intention to do better today than you
did yesterday. Improve upon the way
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you interact with your life partner.
Keep things fresh. If you mess up,
admit it, apologize and loosen up
enough to try something new. Take
advice from your partner. Be flexible
enough to change, to grow and to
become something bigger and better
than you were before. Keep yourselves
healthy and smart. Self-improvement
is incredibly attractive and a sure way
to keep the fires of passion blazing in
your love marriage relationship.
3. The honest mind
Don’t be one of those nitwits who
think that valuing ‘honesty’ in a marriage gives them a license to be blunt
and cruel. In love marriage relationships, honesty is a willingness to look
at yourself and your actions and see
where you might be being pig-headed.
It means looking at your relationship
with a clear head. Examining your soul
to see how you can create a better life
experience for both of you. It also
means communicating clearly with
one another. So many marriages
founder because of simple misunderstandings. Develop the ability to look
honestly at yourself, develop the
responsibility to create positive
changes, and be willing to reveal and
communicate what you find with your
partner. Such acts of intimacy forge
powerful lasting bonds.
Follow in the footsteps of the joyful
Your love marriage relationship is
unique. But you will experience similar
challenges to every other married couple. Why not shortcut your learning
curve and learn from those who are
already living successful married lives?
Michael Webb took the trouble to interview married couples who fell into the
top 1% of those with happy, successful
marriages and got them to reveal their
strategies for long-lasting married love,
romance and passion in The 50 Secrets
to Blissful Relationships.
It’s always so much easier to learn
from experienced mentors who’ve
already charted a course through the
choppy waters of life. And if you want
to guarantee your love marriage relationship grows from strength to
strength, be sure to check out that
resource. Meanwhile, use the relationship tips above to steer your marriage
towards joy, passion and intimacy
which will last a lifetime. I wish you
great happiness and love in all your
moments together.
Copyright 2008 Anne Amore
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