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Dallas CAPE News
ISSUE 02 May 2015
This Issue
Dallas CAPE Charter
Meeting and Lunch
Dallas CAPE Charter Meeting? P.1
“This Is My Story” P.2
Coming Out As Bi P.2
News, Tips & Opportunities P.3
Coming Out To Your Doctor P.4
Quotable Quotes
Join us Friday, May 15, 2015, for an important membership meeting and
lunch. We will formally adopt the organizational by-laws for CAPE, enroll
charter members, and elect officers for the organization. Get to know your
fellow CAPE members and be a part of this exciting step for our group!
Charter Meeting
Friday, May 15, 2015, 12:00 PM
“At some point in our lifetime, gay
marriage won't be an issue, and
everyone who stood against this
civil right will look as outdated as
George Wallace standing on the
school steps keeping James Hood
from entering the University of
Alabama because he was black..”
-George Clooney
Latino Cultural Center
2600 Live Oak Street
To RSVP for lunch, go to http://cape20150515.rsvpify.com
The Steering Committee would like your input on our proposed by-laws. To
see this document, go to http://dallascape.org/wp-content/
uploads/2015/05/CAPE-Bylaws-Draft-2015-05-04.pdf
Please provide any comments or suggestions you may have by Friday, May
8, at 5:00 PM by emailing [email protected]. The steering committee
will review feedback from the group prior to the Charter Meeting and make
any necessary amendments.
Spread the word! Encourage interested colleagues to join us on May 15!
“It takes no compromise to give
people their rights...it takes no
money to respect the individual. It
takes no political deal to give people freedom. It takes no survey to
remove repression. ”
-Harvey Milk
“If you believe in equality, if you
believe in standing up for the rights
of all, especially for people most
affected by bigotry and discrimination, then you have no choice but
to be present and accounted for
when it comes to standing up for
gays and lesbians in our society.”
-Michael Moore
This Is My Story...
Coming Out As Bi
Cecilia V. Mendoza,
White Rock Hills Library Page
Is 16 years old
really too young
to tell who they
are? What they
want to be? Or
what they desire
in life? During her
freshman year at
Bryan Adams
High School, Cecilia V. Mendoza
thought she
“went through a phase”. “I thought it was a
phase that happens to few people in their
life, but that feeling and interest came back,”
said Cecilia. She knew who she was and defined her purpose in life when she was a junior. She recognized herself as a bisexual
woman with big dreams in mind.
The
official
and completely private. And some health
care facilities and LGBT community cen-
logo of
National
ters can provide you with names of professionals who include a focus on LGBT
Coming
Out
people as one of their specialties. You can
always call and ask!)
Day—
celebrated every October 11th in the
Sometimes we must even come out more
United States—is a cute drawing by Keith
Haring of a person exiting a closet. If only
than once to the same person, to clarify
what we have said, or to overcome their
coming out were that simple: something
done easily and only once, and once
denial.
done, complete.
We may also need to come out more
than once if we experience a shift in our
On the contrary, coming out is a complex
process. We come out to ourselves. We
own identity. Someone formerly identified as gay may decide that the word
come out to our parents, our friends, our
neighbors, our parents’ friends, and the
bisexual is a better fit. Or vice versa. Or
you might have fallen in love with one
friends of our neighbors. We come out to
our immediate and extended family. We
particular man when you had previously
only fallen in love with women. Or vice
come out to our classmates, our coworkers and our health providers.
versa.
Cecilia, now 21, is a full time student at Eastfield College and has formed a club called
Eastfield College Gay Straight Alliance, EFCGSA- currently in its third year of existence.
On top of that, she is a part time worker for
the Dallas Public Library and volunteers on
her off day to join the Reading Partners at
her old elementary school, J. W. Ray.
And coming out is not simply a one-time
Finally, not only bisexual people must
come out. Once we are out to friends and
event. It is something done repeatedly
throughout our lives. We must weigh the
family, they too must deal with questions
of whether, how and to whom they will
benefits and risks of coming out to every
new friend, family member, employer,
share information about us.
coworker and so on. The stakes can be
high. Unlike people with gay or straight
Why come out? Some of us come out
because they feel the alternative is mis-
identities, we must decide when and
whether to come out to potential roman-
understanding. This is particularly true for
bisexuals, as we are so rarely seen by
Cecilia’s intention is to transfer to the University of North Texas in Denton to earn a
bachelors in Social Work. “I always wanted to
help out people. Not only that, I also want to
help out animals and the Earth.”
tic partners and risk a negative or biphobic response.
others as bisexual. Bisexuals cannot come
out as bi simply by mentioning a partner,
One important issue is health: Like lesbi-
or by being seen at a “community” event,
and many feel it’s important to validate
As a bisexual woman, Cecilia has a big heart
with a passion to help others. She hopes that
her orientation will not stop her from her
dreams and passion. She remains an openminded person willing to learn more about
the world, people, and animals. “
Cecilia sets out her goal: to receive her
bachelors in Social Work at UNT, work in the
social work force, earn her masters in the
near future, and to start her own business
where she plans to not only help her fellow
man, but animals also.
ans, gay men and transgender people,
bisexuals must weigh whether to come
their identity.
out to health care professionals. On one
hand, we may fear a negative response
At a more intimate level, the cost of silence can be great. Failure to communicate, to share important information
about ourselves, often creates a barrier
between us and our loved ones. Ideally,
we want those close to us to know us not
as their illusion of who we are, but as we
truly are.
and poor treatment; on the other, our
silence leaves providers with incomplete
information and may put our health at
risk. (Keep in mind that health care professionals are trained to assist people of
any orientation. They are also required to
keep what you say to them confidential
Continued on page 3:
What’s Your Story?
Each month we will highlight one of our CAPE members. We hope our life lessons
will encourage you. If you would like to tell your story, let us know. You can
email Johnny Head at [email protected]
The Texas Wins Campaign Is A Winner
Michael Cade Hughes, Speaker-Writer-Mentor-Activist/Huffpost
There's a new campaign on the horizon in the
Lone Star State, that promises protection from
discrimination for LGBT Texans. The 'Texas
Wins' campaign is a collaborative effort of numerous equality
groups across the
state, such as Equality
Texas, the ACLU of
Texas, Faith in Public
Life, Athlete Ally, the
Texas Freedom Network, the Texas Research Institute, and
the Resource Center
of Dallas.
anti-equality movements, and has the support
of some major Texas employers and business
leaders across the state, including former
George W. Bush media advisor, Mark
McKinnon, who will serve
as chair. AT&T, Texas Instruments, American Airlines, Dell, BP, and Chevron
are all on record for supporting workplace equality. In addition, polling
continues to show that
strong majorities of Texans
believe that LGBT individuals experience discrimination, and agree that protections should be in place.
This campaign was
launched to counter the numerous efforts by
politicians to legislate LGBT discrimination
across the state. There are over 20 bills on the
books in Texas that would promote and legalize
discriminatory action against LGBT citizens, five
of which would obliterate existing nondiscrimination protections that have been passed by
municipal and other local governments.
Texas is a state that has
always prided itself in it's protection of individual liberties, and it's disdain for big government.
The majority of Texans still hold firm to those
beliefs and realize that for any of it's citizens to
Three of the proposed bills would criminalize
transgender people for using a public restroom
that does not align with the gender they were
assigned at birth. These "bathroom bills" also
criminalize employers and building managers
who "knowingly" allow transgender individuals
to use the "wrong" bathroom.
Like the RFRA situation in Indiana, these bills in
Texas would allow LGBT people to be discriminated against by anyone claiming a religious
objection. And let's face it, this has little to do
with religion. Many religious leaders across the
nation have voiced their objection to these
types of laws, citing a stark contrast to the most
basic of their beliefs -- that we should not judge
others, and that all people should be treated
with dignity and respect.
These dangerous, divisive laws do nothing to
protect religious freedoms. Those protections
are already provided for under the Constitution,
and the idea that anti LGBT legislation in any
way protects religious freedoms, is a smoke
screen for intolerance at best. The current religious protections ensure that people can
openly and freely practice their faith of choice,
without the need to sacrifice other laws meant
for the common good, such as civil rights protections.
Texas Wins is working hard to counter these
Upcoming Events
May 15, 2015—12:00-1:00 P.M.
Dallas CAPE Charter Meeting and
Lunch— We will meet at the Latino
Cultural Center located at 2600
Live Oak Street. We will eat lunch
and then meet to adopt our formal
by-laws and elect officers. Don’t
miss this very important moment
in Dallas CAPE. To RSVP for lunch,
go to:
http://cape20150515.rsvpify.com
Hope to see you there!
have the freedom to pursue their individual liberties -- all must.
I encourage you to visit Texas Wins to
voice your support by signing the
pledge to keep discrimination out of
Texas. Because "with opportunity for
all, Texas wins."
Coming Out As Bi… Continued from page 2
But unfortunately, it’s not so simple. While there are many good reasons to come out,
you may also have reasons to choose not to. Think things through. Take advantages of
resources that are available.
Jus a coupld of resources to help in the coming out process:
GLSEN: Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network
PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) has a number of brochures in PDF format, including Be Yourself: Questions and Answers for Gay, Lesbian,
Bisexual and Transgender Youth (available also in Spanish as Se Tu Mismo)
While many people choose to come out and feel most fulfilled that way, others choose
different paths at different times of their lives. Many also choose to come out to some
people in some contexts and not to others. Some are only out to the people they are intimate with, regardless of their gender; others include close friends or selected family members.
In general, it is easier to bring this up at early stages of dating or relationships, but sometimes we are less aware or we feel unsafe at the time the relationship starts and it’s not
the way it happens.
Many people feel guilty about already being in a relationship (same or other sex) where
the loved partner does not know about their attractions and experiences. These aren’t
always easy situations, and people work it out in different ways. It is important to ask for
help when feeling trapped or unhappy: most places have great community counseling
services who are very used to these situations. There are also national and regional phone
lines.
You do not need to come out to everyone at all times to be happy. You do not need to be
out to reach out to people. You definitely do not need to be out to ask for help or advice.
Different people choose different paths, and they should be respected.
Coming Out to Your Doctor
From The Mautner Project—www.SheCircle.org
Tips for Coming Out to Your Doctor
Try to bring up the subject early on. It is
much more difficult to come out to a doctor that has thought of you as straight for
10 years.
Come out when you are less vulnerable. When you are naked
wearing a paper dress may not be
the best time to come out. You will
feel more powerful and in control
by coming out while you are fully
clothed.
Check them out first. Utilize available resources that list LGBT
friendly healthcare providers, or
ask your LGBT friends for referrals.
Ask questions before you get
there. If you are selecting a new
provider you may be able to ask
questions on the phone prior to
making an appointment. Below are
three questions that may be helpful
in selecting a LGBT-friendly provider:
“Do you have a nondiscrimination policy that includes
sex, sexual orientation and
gender?"
"Do you serve LGBT patients?"
"Have you or your staff ever
been trained on lesbian
health issues?"
Slip it in. Sometimes its best not to
make a production number out of
it. A savvy provider will pick up on
your cue. Mention your partner in
general conversation. Be prepared
to address it head on if the provider
asks you directly. Also, be prepared
for your provider to think you suddenly became a lawyer.
Lastly, be patient with yourself and
your provider. Only you can judge
whether it will be safe to come out to
your provider. Be aware that you may
be the first "out" person they have
encountered. Their first reaction may
not be the best reaction — or their
last reaction. Be clear however, that
no one has the right to make you feel
uncomfortable by asking voyeuristic
or mocking questions. Keep in mind
that your provider may not remember at your annual physical that you
came out to him/her last time — particularly if that information is not part
of your permanent medical record.
Some Cautions:
IT MAY NOT BE SAFE for you to come
out to your health care provider.
Think about these questions before
making a decision:
Are you able to choose your health
care provider?
Can you switch health care providers if you are not happy?
Do you have reasons to believe
your health care provider might
treat you poorly if you came out?
How might you deal with curious,
ignorant or negative responses?
Do you have friends, family or a
partner who can help you make this
decision and support you through
it? Could one of them come with
you to your visit?
Laws about confidentiality vary. Do
you know the health care provider's
confidentiality and information
sharing policies? Who might see
your records?
Many U.S. insurance companies
exclude health care coverage to
people who are undergoing medical
sex reassignment. Disclosure about
your transgender status may be
risky if it becomes part of your
medical record.
IF IT IS SAFE for you to come out to
your health care provider, it can
benefit you, your provider and your
family/partner:
It increases your health care
provider's understanding of
you and your life. If the provider knows about your sexual
behavior, you are more likely
to get accurate medical information.
It is often stressful to be lesbian or bisexual because of
society's fear and ignorance.
Your health care provider
needs to know about the
stresses in your life in order to
help diagnose any problems
you might have.
Coming out lets your health
care provider know who is important to you, who to contact
in an emergency and (if you
have a "durable power of attorney for health care") who
makes health care decisions for
you in an emergency.
Your partner can be respected
as more than "just a friend."
Your partner/family can be
included in discussions and
treatment plans.
It takes a lot of energy to be in
the closet. When you're open
about your life, you can focus
on your health, not on hiding.
Dallas CAPE
Have an idea for our newsletter?
Email Johnny Head at
[email protected]
P.O. Box 132272
Dallas, TX 75313
www.DallasCAPE.org