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Small Group Discussion/Study Guide
Week 4: Becoming Forgiving
Reﬂecting on the Sermon
Key Scriptures: Matthew 18:21-35;
2 Corinthians 5:18-19; Ephesians 4:31-32; Mark
3:3-5; Colossians 3:13; Romans 12:20; Matthew
6:15
Opening Questions:
•
What stood out to you from the sermon on
Being Human by Becoming Forgiving?
•
Is easier for Jesus to forgive sin because
he is God? (Keep in mind as you discuss
your answer that God is Love, but God is
also absolute holiness and pure Light).
it doesn’t matter how many times—as long
as you are keeping count, you aren’t really
forgiving. Why do you think that is?
Share Your Story
Have you ever been in a situation where
someone said they forgave, but later on
brought it up against you in another situation,
as if they were still keeping count? Is there
anyone in your life that you are ‘keeping
count’ on?
Payback
Keeping Count
Patrick made the assertion that being forgiving
is part of being fully human.
In Jesus’ parable that Patrick taught on today,
the servant was condemned for not forgiving
others when he himself had been forgiven.
Discussion Questions:
•
Notice that when he was dragged before
the king originally, the servant never
admitted that he could not pay off the
debt; he just asked for more time. How
might that be significant in explaining his
behavior later with the other servant?
•
Read LUKe 6:41-42. The power of Jesus’s
parable lies in the fact that the man
obviously owed so much more to the
king. Most of time we tend to think other
people’s faults are worse than our own.
What does Jesus’s teaching here reveal
about how inaccurately we estimate the
seriousness of our own sin?
•
•
The world often paints a picture that
normal people get angry and get even,
while only fools or supernatural angels
make it their practice to forgive. Why does
it seem so important to us to live in denial
that forgiveness is a natural part of being
truly human?
In the introduction to the parable that Jesus
taught on the unforgiving servant, we read
that Peter thought he would be doing a
very spiritual thing if he forgave someone
seven times over. Jesus basically told him,
Share Your Story
• Since we can’t simply erase memories, how
can we begin to “remember differently”
so that the poison loses its power? Read
Genesis 50:20 for an example of how
Joseph did this after his brothers hurt him
deeply.
Can you think of a time when you considered
yourself the victim of other people’s sins,
and only later realized that your own sin was
just as serious? To put it another way, has
someone ever hurt you so deeply, that you
failed to see how your words and actions were • Patrick also gave the step of “reframing
hurting them deeply, too? What were some of
your story” from “victim to victor” by doing
the ways you deceived yourself into thinking
good to others. Read Genesis 50:21 for
you were innocent, at least compared to the
an example of how Joseph did this. Why
other party in the conflict?
is it not enough to do nothing in response
to evil? Why do we need to push back the
opposite way by actually doing good if
Righteous Anger or Pious Pretender?
possible to the very ones who hurt us? If
Scripture is clear that anger is not always a sin.
we can’t do good for them directly, what
God gets angry. Jesus gets angry. Therefore,
are some other ways we could turn past
those who have the heart of God will be angry
hurts in to a motivation to do good for
over the things that make Him angry. However,
someone else?
righteous anger can be a smokescreen we use
to cover up the fact that we are really just mad Measure for Measure
that we didn’t get our own way. How can you
Patrick said that forgiveness starts by
tell the difference?
allowing God to forgive you, and ends with
• Read Psalm 103:8-9 and then read Eph.
4:26-27. How can setting a “time limit” on
anger ensure that your anger is like God’s
anger, not like the sinful kind of anger?
Rewrite the Backups
Patrick pointed out that one of the steps to
forgiveness is to “stop drinking the poison” of
bitterness.
• In gangster movies and crime dramas, the
hero will often protect himself by keeping
secret backup files with evidence that
would prove the bad guy is guilty. When
we refuse to forgive, we nurse our grudge
by constantly replaying in our minds the
“tapes” of what they did that hurt us, like
backup files that we read over and over.
How can these memories turn into “poison”
that affects every part of our lives?
remembering that the measure of forgiveness
you show to others is what will be measured
back to you.
• How should taking communion remind us
of this truth?
• How can praying through the Lord’s Prayer
daily make you more fully human?
Share Your Story
How have you experienced the forgiveness of
God, and/or the forgiveness of others? How
can re-centering yourself on that experience
soften you and keep you from hardening your
heart into something less than human?
Next Week…
Being Human through the Virtue of Kindness
FRAZER UNITED METHODIST CHURCH • WWW.FRAZERUMC.ORG/HUMAN