The World Wisdom Review The World Wisdom revieW APRIL 2015 • Vol. 17 • No. 4 Head Office: FULL CIRCLE PublishiNg, J-40, Jorbagh lane, New Delhi - 110003 • Tel.: 24620063, 24621011 • Fax: 24645795 • PRICE: Rs. 5/- Dear Readers, I came across a lovely poster – one of those inspirational ones that makes us stop in our tracks and read over more than once. The poster is titled – It’s the little things that count. It lists 50 things that we can do – 1. Remember their name. 2. Compliment them in public. 3. Pick up the tab. 4. Share the credit. 5. Ask if they’re feeling better. 6. Follow up on their purchase. 7. Give a firm handshake. 8. Offer the last piece. 9. Lend an ear. 10. Come in under budget. 11. Confirm it’s a convenient time to talk. 12. Bolster their confidence. 13. Pay it forward. 14. Leave your door open. 15. Give up your seat. 16. Show them the ropes. 17. Offer constructive feedback. 18. Pass on something of interest. 19. Offer an alternative solution. 20. Send a congratulatory note. 21. Provide an unsolicited recommendation. 22. Pick up after yourself. 23. Return it on time. 24. Offer without being asked. 25. Confirm the conversation. 26. Call for no reason. 27. Remember your last conversation. 28. Make them look good. 29. Answer them promptly. 30. Do the unexpected. 31. Give your undivided attention. 32. Listen before talking. 33. Steer the conversation to them. 34. Make it win-win. 35. Talk things through. 36. Remember special occasions. 37. Give without being asked. 38. Keep your advice to yourself, unless asked. 39. Arrive early. 40. Accept their advice. 41. Meet them half- way. 42. Don’t keep score. 43. Make them feel special. 44. Tell it like it is. 45. Look at them when talking. 46. Exceed their expectations. 47. Show that you care. 48. Reach out if they’re in need. 49. Let them go first. 50. Ask if they need anything, to save them the trip. I know that there are so many of these kinds out there, and they are all full of wisdom and positivity, and some of them make it all sound so easy and sometimes we come across those that make us cringe because they are so clichéd and then there are others that really make us take a deep breath and catch our attention. Because some word or message has a special significance in our lives or a situation we are going through. In my case in this list of 50 little things, the one that really, really got me stuck was number 44: Tell it like it is. It is the one of the hardest things for me to do personally. To say things as they are (when they are not pleasant). I can agonise over days and have sleepless nights, trying to avoid difficult conversations, or just stating a fact that isn’t all peaches and cream. And the few times that I am able to muster up the courage to say things as they are, then I will immediately follow it up with an apology or some sort of excuse to back away. The most recent example that prompted me to selfreflect on this even more was when an editor turned in her work for a book assignment. I wasn’t happy with her editing at all, and found it not up to the mark. Yet the several times she came into the office, I would just smile and go over her assignment with her, smoothening out the errors that were overlooked, and going along as though everything was in order. I shared my dissatisfaction with my colleagues, my friend, my sister – everyone else except her. Why? All because I was fearful of saying something that would lead to a confrontation, and hurt her feelings. I thought that this approach would prevent any misunderstandings and problems and that if I went along, correcting the mistakes and not creating any ripples in the pond, all would be well. As it happened, things turned out exactly the opposite way. There were misunderstandings, and things did get unpleasant. In the end I felt exhausted staying up late at night, finishing the editor’s work, feeling resentful and anxious, and then having to compensate her for her work made it even worse. Looking back I could have avoided this situation just by employing number 44. For some people this would sound absurd, ‘What’s the big deal?’ you might be thinking as you read this. And just as this is a challenge for me, each of us has these scary things we find so difficult to do, a number or many numbers on a list, that cause us sleepless nights. Eventually we have to get to that number and work at it. I know that 44 will come at me many times, in many forms and under different circumstances, and each time I am going to try just a little bit more not to hide it under a carpet and pretend all is well. Editor Visit us: Full CiRClE bookstores • 23, Khan Market, 1st & 2nd Floor, New Delhi-110003 Tel.: 24655641-43 • Fax: 24645795 • N-16, GK I Market, New Delhi-110048 Tel: 29245641-44 • Number 8, Nizamuddin East Market, New Delhi-110013 Tel.: 41826124-25 E-mail: [email protected] Website: www.fullcirclebooks.in A P R I L 2015 1 The World Wisdom revieW Have you read PASSIOn InDIA The Story of the Spanish Princess of Kapurthala Javier Moro Passion India by Javier Moro is set in the final decades of the British Raj. It is the true rags-toriches story of Anita Delgado, an illiterate 16 year-old Spaniard, who was working as a dancer in a Madrid nightclub when the Maharaja of Kapurthala whisked her off to India to become his fifth wife. After thorough research in Europe and India, the author reveals with exciting details the secrets of that relationship which culminated in one of the biggest scandals ever to rock colonial society in British India. This book takes us to the fabulous world of the Maharajas, with their harems of the Thousand and One nights, erotic parties, their passion for jewellery, palaces, flamenco, horses Rolls-Royces and tiger hunts...a world that was about to change forever. Published by Full Circle, Passion India has been translated into seventeen languages JavIEr Moro is a spanish writer and nephew of Dominique lapierre. in 2011, he was awarded the Premio Planeta award for his novel El imperio eres tu (The Empire, it’s You), which is based on the life of brazil’s first emperor Dom Pedro i (1798-1834). Most recently, his book The Red Sari: A Dramatised Biography of Sonia Gandhi has been released in india. 2 APRIL 2015 Book Month of the The World Wisdom revieW Book of the Month An extract from the book Vipassana dD Yesterday, I was apprehensive. Today, I am oscillating between apprehension and expectation. I feel cleansed as I take off my adornments. Adornments and accouterments take up too much mind space and waste time. We lose ourselves under layers of appearance. Vipassana Society conditions us that way. I want the The Journey of A layers to be peeled away and I want to let Thousand Steps go of the many ideas and beliefs that are a Pooja Lamba result of my conditioning. Cheema I have knots in my stomach. I am poised rs 299 at a threshold. never before have I gone to this extent to purge my being of emotional bonds. I would not have been able to do this on my own. I thought I was too stoic Tired of battling and too resilient to need all this; even if I melancholy and often break with the overwhelming burden regret and wanting to find a purpose in of pain. On the face of it, I still function as a her directionless life, normal being; a mother and a wife; fulfilling the author decides my obligations. So, even as I break down to go away to a inside with the tumult of silent emotion, I Vipassana ashram to also laugh and revel. The dichotomy is me: explore the depths the being of contradiction; the spiritualist, of her mind and come away free the realist, the aggressor, the pushover, the of the emotional sinner and the saint. baggage that she But I do not want to be a leaf in the wind knows is impeding any longer; adrift and ready to be swept in her life. Aware of any direction the winds chose to take me, the rigours of this even if it means the death of illusion and the form of meditation, she is nevertheless fading away of the colours that have made up unprepared for the my life: the colours of autumn and spring, frightening loneliness winter and even blazing summer, the colours and solitude of the of hope and of its death, the colours of joy ashram, where tainted with sorrow and of sorrow mingled one is required to meditate for ten and with hope, the bleak, dark colours of loss a half hours every of faith and hope; the grey of betrayal and day for ten days in deceit, the black of mourning and grieving. complete silence. And then the brighter colours: colours of love and rejoicing, of birth and renewal. Kahlil Gibran wrote, ‘Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.’ I am going to be learning of the impermanence of things and to be able to feel like the calm centre in the middle of the hurricane that is life and be unlike the people around me, always on a mission to achieve, without realizing that most of what truly matters lies beyond the ambit of what they hope to attain. Such were my thoughts before I left for Vipassana. On the day I was supposed to leave, I was in a state of agitation. I thought about my refuge, two hours away. Twenty acres of refuge to heal, wander, think, meditate and generally lose myself in a trance, praying to God with the faint smell of incense hovering in the air and the image of Om in front of my closed eyes, as I went deep into bhakti. Positive thoughts give temporary sanity and peace and a kind of resignation that pain is inevitable; that there is a quiet, necessary beauty to it; something that one needs, to evolve into a better, wiser being, like the breaking of the cocoon to release the butterfly within. That is what we grow up with: acceptance of pain, expectation of pain and slow, painful healing of pain. dD As I write this at home on my first day back, I think I hear the sounds of the little bells of the pagoda. They hung like bunches of grapes from the spires rising from the top of the structure. The tinkling sounded like a wind chime. The sound takes me back to those environs of serenity and hope. A P R I L 2015 3 The World Wisdom revieW “Education is the ability to listen to almost reading for the Month What to Do About Your Brain-Injured Child Rishabhayan The Story of the First King Translated by Sudhamahi Regunathan The story of Tirthankara Rishabha has travelled across generations of Jains. Acharya Mahapragya, the tenth Acharya of the Jain Swetambar Terapanth, presents it to us in a composition of 2000 verses. Capturing the subtle rs. 350 dilemmas of the human soul caught in the mesh of existence, this translation offers the classic in a contemporary idiom. Ganesha Goes to Lunch Glenn Doman A landmark book, the author brings real hope to children who have been sentenced to a life of institutional confinement. He explains his philosophy and revolutionary treatment of the brain rather than the rs. 400 body, recounts his staff’s worldwide research, breakthroughs and setbacks, and reveals their lifesaving techniques and tools to measure - and ultimately improve - mobility, language, manual, visual, auditory and tactile development. Live Without Anger Classics From Mystic India Dr PS Bawa Kamla K Kapur These are tales of ancient India, some celebrated and well known, while others are small, unnoticed gems. The stories encapsulate some of life’s essential truths. 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A 360 degree approach based on LifeShastra and 3P Concept: Philosophy, Practicality and Physicality, has been applied to give readers a thorough An Insider’s View of Emotional Traumas How to Help or Seek Help Dinesh Kumar There is pitifully little awareness about mental health issues in our country. The truth is that many mental health issues are transient. They fall into the category of mental ‘sprains’ and not ‘fractures’. This book deals with rs. 249 subjects such as anxiety, depression, marriage, suicide, child sexual abuse, adolescences and stress. Based on actual case studies, the text is written in simple, lucid language, devoid of technical jargon. The World Wisdom revieW anything without losing your temper or self-confidence.” – Robert Frost reading Leadingship Exploring the Essence of Leadership Dynamics Arnold Timmerman This book bridges the gap between spiritual self-inquiry and practical personal and professional leadership dynamics. Rather than giving formularized answers and concepts, it raises questions that allow the rs. 125 reader to open up to a new leadership paradigm that reaches beyond our old beliefs and structures. It brings leadership back to its bare essence: non-personal inspiration through authenticity and passion. Crossing Over From Mental Illness to Mental Wellness Geetanjali Mehta In this brave memoir, Geetanjali Mehta sets out to offer a message of hope and inspiration to people who suffer from bipolar disorder, as well as their families. Geetanjali was a successful engineer and manager, cruising along a terrific career that rs. 350 came crashing down when she was initially diagnosed. Her book is a heart-rending, frank and fascinating insider’s look into the world of bipolar disorder. Natural Kingdoms Healing With Homeopathy Dr Rajan Sankaran Sometimes, a single pattern repeats itself endlessly through every sphere of an individual’s life, despite their best efforts to change to? Dr Sankaran explains that an individual’s perception of stress is shaped by an inner pattern, or song. Identifying rs. 299 this fundamental connection enables homeopaths to cure ailments at their root. Insightful, accessible and lucid, natural Kingdoms tells the story of the homeopathic process through the case studies of three individuals. for the Month Keys The Secret to A Happy and RegretFree Life Santosh Joshi Each and every one of us deserves a happy life. So what is keeping us from achieving it? Most of us have been hurt or burdened by the imperfect past or are fearful of the uncertain future. The author, life coach and rs. 250 motivational speaker introduces the HLP Principle that encourages us to live the present moment. HLP stands for: Healing the past Living in the present and Planning for the future. In Other Words Javed Akhtar Javed Akhtar’s poetry speaks of the urban milieu that envelops him. 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A P R I L 2015 5 The World Wisdom revieW nOTES On THE BHAGVAD GITA Swami nikhilananda Saraswati, Chinmaya Mission Contd... 8. Sthairyam is steadfastness on the path and steadfastness to the goal, hence commitment to attaining it. not leaving the path till the Supreme is attained. Even in relationships, the course is often unsteady. This is experienced even in marriages. Unsteadiness creeps in and one may dither or flounder on the path. The path to moksha is verily a relationship with the Lord that is being forged. A small difficulty is enough for the seeker to despair and give up. Steadiness is very essential. One should be absolutely steady on the path of moksha. It might take time. It does not matter. One should not be impatient or deterred by difficulties. Whatever time it takes, whatever effort it requires or whatever obstacle shows up on the path, one should walk steadily. One should not look for another path or goal. 9. Atmavinigraha – Self-control. This is control over the body, the mind, the senses. We should have control over them. Some people do not have control over their tongue. They have no control over speech and eating. The tongue is very powerful. Swami Vivekanandaji used to say that only if we can conquer our tongue with ease, we can conquer the whole world easily too. We should have control over our thinking. Sometimes you see that in a discussion among friends, the topic changes and they move to another topic and do not even realise this. By the end of the conversation, it has moved all over the world. There should be control in group discussions. One should keep the discussion confined to the topic. That is atmavinigraha. Control over our thinking, feelings, senses is important. It is said about Bhagavan Shri Rama that He would not take even one step without proper understanding. For this, one must control then guide one’s mind and senses. 10. Vairagya: The whole world is the object of our senses. Our house, wealth, people are all objects of our senses. They are all a combination of shabda, sparsh, rupa, rasa and gandha. The whole world is a combination and permutation of these five senses. 6 APRIL 2015 Vairagya means to have no like or dislike for anything. There should be no bhogavritti. There should be detachment from the world. By ‘detachment’ is meant the world should not be our goal and we keep doing whatever is required to fulfil our kartavya, our duty. (Recall our earlier definitions.) The focus of life is not world – which is kshetra; but it should be on the kshetrajna. Unless we detach from the world we cannot attach to the Self. So, be in the world but remain detached, apart from it. It is like a ship; it is in the waters, and to move in the waters successfully, it should not sink in the water, it should not allow the water to enter inside. Then it remains steady above the waters. Likewise, if the world start entering our system then we can’t move ahead in this world where we have to be. So don’t let the world disturb you; neither get attached to it nor get repelled from it. Just swim around in it. A Mahatma once gave the example of surfing in the sea. He said, ‘you have to stand on the surfing board, then rise with the rising wave, fall with the falling wave. But in both situations, be on top of the wave!’ When we go to someone’s house as a guest, we appreciate and use his possessions. But when we leave, we do not carry his stuff with us! We know that it does not belong to us. I am here temporarily. I cannot take anything with me while going. Similarly, we have come into this world knowing that it does not belong to us. We should just enjoy the scene. This is called vairagyam. Vairagya is not hatred for the world. Vairagya means neither like nor dislike. One is free. The world belongs to Bhagavan, I just have to do my duties and leave peacefully in the midst of the play of things and people. Swami Nikhilananda Saraswati will give discourses in English on Bhagavad Gita - Chapter III, from 1st July, 2014 to 7th July, 2014 from 6.30 pm to 8.00 pm at Chinmaya Mission, 89, Lodhi Estate, New Delhi 110 003. All are welcome to attend.
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