Faculty of Cognitive Sciences and Human Development QUALITY IN MARITAL RELATIONSHIP AND SELF-ESTEEM Chong Chin Yee Kota Samarahan 2007 QUALITY IN MARITAL RELATIONSHIP AND SELF-ESTEEM by Chong Chin Yee This project is submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for a Bachelor of Counseling with Honours Faculty of Cognitive Sciences and Human Development Universiti Malaysia Sarawak BORANG PENGESAHAN STATUS TESIS JUDUL : QUALITY IN MARITAL RELATIONSHIP AND SELF-ESTEEM SESI PENGAJIAN : Saya Gred: 2004/ 2005 CHONG CHIN YEE (HURUF BESAR) mengaku membenarkan tesis* ini disimpan di Pusat khidmat Maklumat Akedemik, Universiti Malaysia Sarawak dengan syarat-syarat kegunaan seperti berikut: 1. Tesis adalah hakmilik Universiti Malaysia Sarawak 2. Pusat Khitmat Maklumat Akademik, Universiti Malaysia Sarawak dibenarkan untuk membuat salinan untuk tujuan pengajian sahaja. 3. Pusar Khidmar Mallumat Akedemik, Universiti Malaysia Sarawak dibenarkan membuat pendigittan untuk membangunankan Pangkalan Data Kandungan Tempatan. 4. Pusat Khidmat Maklumat Akademik, Universiti Malaysia Sarawak dibenarkan membuat salinan tesis ini sebagai bahan pertukaran antara institusi pengajian tinggi. 5. **sila tandakan (√) SULIT (mengandungi maklumat yang berdajah keselamatan atau kepentingan seperti termaktub di dalam AKTA RAHSIA RASMI 1972) TERHAD (mengandungi maklumat terhad yang telah ditentukan oleh organisasi/badan di mana penyelidikan dijalankan) TIDAK TERHAD _________________________ (TANDATANGAN PENULIS) ________________________________ (TANDATANGAN PENYELIA) Alamat Tetap: 12, KIM LEE GARDEN, JALAN SEMABA, KUCHING Tatikh: ____________________ Tarikh: _________________________ Catatan: * Tesis dimaksudkan sebagai tesis bagi Ijazah Doktor Falsafah, Sarjana dan Sarjana Muda * Jika tesis ini SULIT atau TERHAD, sila lampirkan surat daripada pihak berkuasa/ organisasi berkenaan dengan menyatakan sekali sebab dan tempoh tesis ini perlu dikelaskan sebagai TERHAD. The project entitled Quality in marital relationship and self-esteem was prepared by Chong Chin Yee and submitted to the Faculty of Cognitive Sciences and Human Development in partial fulfillment of the requirements for a Bachelor of Counseling with Honours. Received for examination by: __________________________ Pn. Fatahyah Yahya Date: ___________ ___________ Gred ACKNOWLEDGEMENT Special thanks are given to my supervisor, Pn. Fatahya yahya, who guided me through out this research and monitored my progress through out this research. She had given me clear explanation and command. Thanks for her concern about my research and referred me to Cik Nurfatihah and En Rizal who are expert in research analysis. Appreciation goes to the cooperation given by Grace Baptist Church. Special thanks to Reverend Daniel Wong Chin Choy who gave me the ideas and commands when doing this research. Thanks also given to my beloved family members, my mom and my brothers, who not only give me moral support, but also providing me with useful resources. With the support from them, I am able finished this study even though I faced many difficulties and problems. Special thanks are also given to the lecturers who gave the command for me to improve during the presentation of proposal and presentation of findings. The lecturers are En. Rizal Abu Bakar, Ms. Amalia Madihie, Pn. Jamayiah and En. Idris. Also, I would like to thank En Rizal Abu Bakar for his advising on data analysis and permission to get the factor analysis value for Rosenberg Self-esteem Scale pilot test. Appreciation goes to my course mates for sharing of knowledge and information: Set Foon, Surriyani, Lee Chen, Yook Pei and Izarrina and Joe. Thank you. iii TABLE OF CONTENTS iii iv vii viii x Acknowledgement Table of Contents List of Figures List of Tables Abstract/ Abstrak CHAPTER 1 INTRODUCTION 1.0 1.1 1.2 1.3 1.4 1.5 1.6 1.7 1.8 1.9 Introduction Background of the study Statement of problem Objective of the study 1.3.2 General objective 1.3.3 Specific objectives Conceptual framework Research hypothesis Significance of the study Definition of key terms 1.7.1 Quality in marital relationship 1.7.2 Task accomplishment 1.7.3 Communication 1.7.4 Affective expression 1.7.5 Self-esteem Limitation of the study Conclusion 1 2 8 10 10 11 11 12 13 14 15 16 16 18 19 CHAPTER 2 LITERATURE REVIEW 2.0 2.1 Introduction Literature review 2.1.1 Past research regarding quality in marital relationship 2.1.2 Past research regarding self-esteem 2.1.3 Past research regarding the relationship between marital relationship and self-esteem 2.1.4 Past research on task accomplishment in marital relationship iv 20 21 24 25 27 2.1.5 2.2 2.3 2.4 Past research on communication in marital relationship 2.1.6 Past research regarding affective expression in marital relationship 2.1.7 Past research regarding the demographic factors of gender Theory approach 2.2.1 Theory approach to relationship: Attachment Theory Triangular Theory of Love System Theory 2.2.2 Theory approach to communication Social Exchange Theory Structural Family Theory 2.2.3 Theory approach to affective expression Experiential Family Theory 2.2.4 Theory approach to self-esteem Theory of Maslow Process model of Family functioning Conclusion 28 31 32 33 35 37 38 39 41 42 44 45 CHAPTER 3 RESEARCH METHODOLOGY 3.0 3.1 3.2 3.3 3.4 3.5 3.6 3.7 Introduction Research design Population and sampling Research instrument 3.3.1 FAM-III, Dyadic Relationship Scale 3.3.2 Rosenberg Self-esteem Scale 3.3.3 Validity of reliability of Dyadic Relationship Scale (2003) 3.3.4 Validity and Reliability of Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale (1965) Pilot test Data collection Data analysis Conclusion v 46 47 47 47 49 50 51 52 53 53 56 CHAPTER 4 RESULT AND DISCUSSION 4.0 Introduction 57 4.1 Descriptive statistic of demographic factors of respondent 4.1.1 Gender 4.2 Result of hypothesis 4.2.1 Relationship between quality of marital relationship and level of self-esteem 4.2.2 Difference of self-esteem base on gender 4.2.3 Relationship between task accomplishment in marital relationship and self-esteem 4.2.4 Relationship between communication in marital relationship and self-esteem 4.2.5 Relationship between affective expression in marital relationship and self-esteem 4.3 Summary of result 4.4 Conclusion 58 58 60 63 65 67 69 70 CHAPTER 5 CONCLUSION AND RECOMMENDATIONS 5.0 Introduction 5.1 Research summary 5.2 Recommendation (based on the result of the research) 5.2.1 Church 5.2.2 The field of counseling 5.2.3 Researcher in the future 5.3 Conclusion REFFRENCES APPENDIX Appendix 1 Appendix 2 Questionnaire Letter to the organization vi 71 72 75 76 78 80 LIST OF FIGURES Diagram 1.1 The conceptual framework of quality in marital relationship and self-esteem 11 Diagram 2.1 The diagram of John Bowlby’s description about patterns of attachment 34 Diagram 2.2 The diagram of the triangular theory of love 37 Diagram 2.3 The diagram of Maslow hierarchy of needs 42 Diagram 2.4 Process Model of Family Functioning 44 vii LIST OF TABLES Table 3.1 Four point scale of Dyadic Relationship Scale ranging from strongly agrees to strongly disagree. 48 Table 3.2 The ranking for the score of Rosenberg Self-esteem Scale. 49 Table 3.3 Four point scale ranging from strongly agree to strongly disagree. 50 Table 3.4 The strength of correlation value 54 Table 3.5 Data analysis methods which are used to measure the subjects of study. 55 Table 4.1 The descriptive statistic of gender 58 Table 4.2 The result of Spearman Correlation of relationship between quality relationship and self-esteem 59 Table 4.3 The analysis of t-test to the self-esteem base on the demographic factor of gender. 61 Table 4.4 The result of Spearman Correlation of the relationship between task accomplishment and self-esteem 63 Table 4.5 The result of Spearman Correlation of the relationship between communication and self-esteem 65 viii Table 4.6 The result of Spearman Correlation of the relationship between affective expression and self-esteem 67 Table 4.7 The summary of the result of this research 69 ix ABSTRACT QUALITY IN MARITAL RELATIONSHIP AND SELF-ESTEEM Chong Chin Yee This study aims in studying the relationship between quality in marital relationship and self-esteem. In studying the relationship between quality in marital relationship and self-esteem, researcher make hypothesis to study the relationship between quality in marital relationship and self-esteem, the relationship between task accomplishment and self-esteem, the relationship between communication and self-esteem, and the relationship between affective expression and self-esteem. Spearman correlation Analysis Method was used to analysis the relationship between these variables. Besides studying the relationship between these variables, the researcher also looked at the differences of participants’ self-esteem base on selected demographic factor of gender. The difference in term of gender was analyzed using t-test. A survey research was conducted using questionnaires which were selected from Dyadic Relationship Scale (2003) in Family Assessment Manual, version III and, Rosenberg Self-esteem Scale (1965). The Dyadic Relationship Scale was used to measure the relationship of the participants with their partner while the Rosenberg Self-esteem Scale was used to measure self-esteem of the participants. Task accomplishment, communication and affective expression are three of the seven subscales taken from Dyadic Relationship Scale in this study. By using purposive sampling method, 75 out of 120 Christians from Grace Baptist Church Kuching were taken as the sample. The result shows that there is relationship between quality in relationship and self-esteem. The hypothesis of difference of the Christians’ self-esteem base on demographic factors was accepted. There is no difference of individuals’ self-esteem base on the demographic factor of gender. Communication in marital relationship is found to have no relationship with self-esteem. However, the researcher found that there is relationship between task accomplishment and self-esteem, and affective expression and self-esteem. This shows that task accomplishment and affective expression is an important element in marital relationship as they affect Christians’ self-esteem and Christian’s self-esteem might be affected by task accomplishment and affective expression in marital relationship. x ABSTRAK PERHUBUNGAN PERKAHWINAN DAN SELF-ESTEEM Chong Chin Yee Kajian ini dijalankan untuk mengenalpasti perhubungan di antara kualiti perhubungan perkahwinan dengan self-esteem. Pengkaji membuat enam hipotesis untuk mengkaji perhubungan perkahwinan dan self-esteem dalam kajian ini. Di antaranya ialah perhubungan di antara perhubungan perkahwinan dengan self-esteem, perhubungan di antara pencapaian tugasan dengan self-esteem, perhubungan di antara komunikasi dengan self-esteem dan perhubungan ekspresi perasaan dengan self-esteem. Korelasi Spearman telah digunakan untuk mengkaji perhubungan di antara pembolehubah ini.Selain daripada mengkaji perhubungan di antara pembolehubah ini, pengkaji juga melihat kepda perbezaan self-esteem responden berdasarkan faktor demografi seperti jantina dan pendapatan bulanan. Analisis t-test digunakan untuk menganalisis faktor demografi. Satu tinjauan dibuat dengan menggunakan soalan daripada Dyadic Relationship Scale (2003) dalam Family Assessment Manual, Versi ke-3 dan Rosenberg Self-esteem Scale (1965). Dyadic Relationship Scale digunakan untuk menguji perhubungan di antara responden dengan pasangan manakala Rosenberg Self-esteem Scale diguankan untuk mengkaji self-esteem peserta. Komunikasi dan ekspresi perasaan merupakan dua daripada 7 sub-skala instrumen Dyadic Relationship Scale dalam kajian ini. Dengan menggunakan kaedah sample purposive, 75 responden daripada 120 orang reponden daripada Gereja Grace Baptist Kuching menyertai kajian ini. Keputusan menunjukkan bahawa terdapat perhubungnan di antara perhubungan perkahwinan dengan tahap self-esteem. Hipotesis untuk perbezaan di antara self-esteem berdasarkan factor demografi menunjukkan keputussan diterima. Dengan itu, tiada perbezaan di antara self-esteem individu berdasarkan factor demografi. Kajian ini juga mendapati tiada perhubungan di antara komunikasi dengan self-esteem. Tetapi, pengkaji mendapati terdapat perhubungan di antara pencapaian tugasan dengan self-esteem dan expresi perasaan dengan self-esteem. Keputusan ini menunjukkan bahawa expresi perasaan merupakan elemen yang penting kerana ekspresi perasaan dalam perhubungan perkahwinan akan mempengaruhi self-esteem. Di sebaliknya, Kristian ataupun self-esteem Kristian akan mempengaruhi pencapaian tugasan dan ekspresi perasaan dalam perhubungan perkahwinan. xi CHAPTER 1 INTRODUCTION 1.0 Introduction Quality in marital relationship and self-esteem are no longer new subject study of researchers. For many years, the researchers study about issues of marriage ranging from communication to the more critical issues like divorce and domestic violence. Self-esteem is also a popular subject of study currently. Though these two subjects are popular in the field of research, only in the past 10 years that researchers start to concern about the influence of quality relationship to the adult’s self-esteem. This chapter will describe the background of the study, problem statement, conceptual framework, significance of the study and main key words in this study. 1.1 Background of the Study Marriage is legal union between a man and a woman. Marriage is defined as a total commitment and a total sharing of the person with another person until death. The sharing includes insights, ideas, abilities, problems, success, sufferings and failures. A husband and wife are a team and whatever each of them does must be for the sake of the other person, or at least it must not be the detriment of the other person. Each must be as concerned about the other person’s needs as he is about his own (Eph..5: 28 and Prov. 31: 12, 27: As cited in Mack, 1999). In Christian’s perspective, God designed marriage as the foundational element of all human society. Marriage is a foundational institution, and the first to be instituted formally as a sphere of human society. Society depends on marriage because when a marriage was not stable it will affect the other subunit in the society like workplace and government. In the Bible, term of companionship in marriage is described as the close, intimate relationship of a husband and wife to one another. The word companionship in the bible also poses the meaning of union or association. In this relationship, there are unity in thoughts, goals, plans, and efforts. Two passages in Malachi and Proverbs of the bible stated that marriage has the meaning of the desire for both husband and wife to meet each other’s need for companionship (Adams, 1986). Thus, in marriage, satisfying spouse’s companionship that he or she needs is important, as companionship is the essence of the marriage. Problems come when people fail to establish a good quality of marital relationship. Both of the spouses or one of them may not satisfy or happy with the partner. Before they come to the divorce, they will have conflicts and other marital issues. The issue of divorce is no longer a new issue in the Malaysia. In 2006, the 2 country’s divorce rate is 12.13% (Islamic Department, 2006). People get divorced with many reasons when they think that they shall not commit to the relationship anymore. More and more adults choose to live single instead of committing to marital relationship. There are people prefer living in a cohabitation relationship rather than a committed relationship in marriage. In America, married-couple families declined from 70.6% of all families in 1970 to 52.5% in 2000 (William, Sawyer & Wahlstrom, 2006). In Malaysia, the rate of marriage shows the figure of 110,951 in 2005, which is slightly lower than 2004 which is 111,944 (Islamic Department, 2006). Generally, the marriage rate does not change dramatically from 1995 to 2005 and the rate is reducing. The reducing rate of marriage implies that marriage is getting less important to the people nowadays. Marriage has changed over the time and the quality of relationships is getting more attention by people. According to a scholar, Watson (2003), marriage has changed over the past 30 to 40 years. He also described that close and personal relationships are vital for psychological well-being as the quality of relationship has great impact on individuals’ development, well-being, and overall meaning of life. The concepts of quality in marital relationship were studied by researcher differently. Marital quality, a catch-all phrase that refers to satisfaction, adjustment and happiness, was the focus of intense research energy through the 1980's and 1990's. According to Glenns (1990), only modest advances were made in understanding successful marriage (As cited in Parker, 2002). Some researches view that the quality of relationship in marriage determines successful of marriage. Recently, the researchers also try to understand marital developmental processes 3 in studying the marital relationship (Parker, 2002). Marital relationship has been the issue and also the reason for clients to attend the counseling session. Warren Research Group (2006) reviewed 40,026 Employee Assistant Program (EAP) marital cases from 2000, 2001 and 2002 in Canada to study three marital cases: marital or relationship issue; separation or divorce and domestic violence. Those three issues were found to be the most frequently assessed, becoming more prevalent over the past three years and causing greater level of stress among EAP clients. The study also found that 62.1% of all marital or relationship cases, clients tend to seek counseling to improve the quality of their relationship rather than seeking counseling for the issue of separation or divorce (Watson, 2003). Interpersonal communication can be used for developing fulfilling relationships, managing conflict cooperatively improving relationships, and for helping spouses meet interpersonal needs. However, interpersonal communication can also be hurt people, to deceive them, and in aggressive, selfish and argumentative ways (Steven, Susan & Mark, 2005). Positive communication helps to build the relationship while the negative communication hurts the feeling and may influence individual psychologically. Self-esteem is a widely used concept both in popular language and in psychology. According to Blascovich and Tomaka (1991), self-esteem refers to an individual's sense of his or her value or worth, or the extent to which a person values, approves of, appreciates, prizes, or likes him or herself. The most broad and frequently cited definition of self-esteem within psychology is Rosenberg's (1965), who described it as a favorable or unfavorable attitude toward the self (As cited in Nancy & Stewart, 2004). In psychological interpretation, self-esteem is 4 about psychological health, about motivations, and about personal identity. In Social Psychology perspective, self-esteem is people’s evaluations of their own self-worth- that is the extent to which they view themselves as good, competent, and decent (Aronson, Wilson and Akerf, 2005). Different approaches define and study self-esteem differently. The contemporary approach defines self-esteem as a kind of resource or asset. People desire self-esteem just as they may be expected to desire prosperity, good physical health, or freedom of thought. But they also regard it as something they should have by right. And, if they are lack of self-esteem, it is because they have been denied or deprived of it through the actions or inactions of others. Human science approach encourages the belief that self-esteem is good for the individual who is blessed with it and also the society. It had become a fashionable notion that high self-esteem inoculates people, and in particular young people, against vulnerability to a wide range of social ills. According to Emler (2001), those who possess high self-esteem are less likely to abuse drugs, commit crimes, fail to benefit from education, engage in unsafe sexual practices that could pose a risk to health or result in unwanted pregnancies, suffer from stress, develop eating disorders, perpetrate acts of racism or child abuse or violence towards their partners, become chronically dependent on the state for financial support, get depressed or make suicide attempts. The benefits of having high level of self-esteem are more than this. What are the views of scholars and scientists? According to James (1890), self-esteem can be increased by achieving greater success and maintained by avoiding failures. However, self-esteem cannot be predicted purely from the objective level of success a person achieves. What determine the successes is their 5 opinions towards their achievements (As cited in Emler, 2001). There is evidence that, in whatever circumstances, young people want many things. For example, young people from deprived areas share conventional aspiration for their adult lives. Their goals are nice house, good job, nice car and nice family (Johnston et al., 2000: Emler, 2001). Self-esteem is more closely linked to aspirations for personal qualities comparing with other variables. What shape our self-esteem are not our objective accomplishments objectively and directly appraised, but the anticipated judgments of these accomplishments by other people. Morris Rosenberg (1965) devised a method for measuring self-esteem base on the notion that it is a variety of attitude. Attitudes were defined primarily in terms of emotional or evaluative reactions; they constitute our reactions of approval or disapproval, liking or dislike, for social practices, habits of behaviour, and categories of people, political policies and public figures. Rosenberg regarded self-esteem as an evaluative attitude towards the self. This attitude is powerfully shaped by what others are believed to think of the self. The enduring significance of Rosenberg’s definition is that it is embodied in his self-esteem scale and this scale has become the gold standard of self-esteem approach. According to sociologist, Cooley, people’s propositions about what other people think of them are derived from how they actually treat them (Emler, 2001). That is how the Dyadic Relationship Scale measures the quality in relationship through asking individuals’ perception towards partner. What the partner does to an individual will affect the individual’s perception. The perception will influence the individual’s self-esteem. Thus, the quality of relationship has relationship with self-esteem. 6 In understanding nature of self-esteem and how it differs in different individuals, William James thought that self-esteem would vary in two ways. First, it would behave rather like an emotion; it would fluctuate, if not from hour to hour then certainly from day to day and perhaps from week to week (Emler, 2001). His perception is that the self-esteem is reactive and it is changeable. The reactions are the changeable conditions and emotions of a person in daily life. The perception of this scholar is that there is relationship between affective expression and self-esteem. Mark Leary’s view towards self-esteem is that the relevant conditions are the state of one’s relations with others. When these relations are good, that is, when one is accepted, included and loved; then self-esteem will be relatively high. When relations are bad, that is, when one is rejected, excluded and loved; then self-esteem will be low (As cited in Emler, 2001). This applies to the relationship between affective expression and self-esteem where individuals’ self-esteem will be high when they feel accepted, included and loved by their partner. In contrast, when individuals feel that they are not accepted, included and loved by their partner, their self-esteem will be low. For Leary, low self-esteem acts as a warning about the poor state of one’s relationships with other people and a signal that repair work is needed (Emler, 2001). When relate to the quality relationship in marriage, low self-esteem of a married individual might be the signal that he or she is in the poor state of marital relationship. This poor state of relationship will be the signal that something need to be done to improve the current state of relationship. 7 1.2 Statement of Problem This study aims to study the relationship between quality in marital relationship and level of self-esteem among the married individuals in Grace Baptist Church, Kuching. This research will also examine the relationship between perception of individuals towards partner’s task accomplishment, communication and affective expression, and the individuals’ self-esteem. Grace Baptist Church is one of the churches which emphasize the spirituality and Christians’ well-being. The church gives lesson to the Christian weekly and they are encouraged to attend courses to improve their knowledge, well-being and spirituality in Sunday School. Marriage in the perspective of Christian is holy and it involves commitment. The issues of marriage are always taken seriously through educating the Christian, organizing marriage enrichment program for the adult before they are married. Counseling services are also given to spouses who face problems in marriage. Self-esteem is one of the qualities that the members of the church is always strike for. In Christian’s perspective, spirituality influences individuals’ level of self-esteem. They believe that believing in the God will determine their self-esteem. This is from the spirituals perspective that how is the self-esteem formed. The environment factors such as quality relationship in marriage have not been considered of having relationship with self-esteem. In society, there are many issues involves in marriage like divorce, remarriage, domestic violence, sexuality, and having affair. These issues are related to the quality in marital relationship as those who involves in these issues will claim about their satisfaction in marriage. 8 According to Elmer (2001), those with low self-esteem are more likely to commit crimes, involve in drug abuse and involve in other personality disorder. In marriage, low level of self-esteem will be the reason for the appearance of the marital issues discuss earlier. Thus, self-esteem in marriage is also related to the issues in marriage. The quality in marital relationship and self-esteem might be the two related factors that have relationship with issues of marriage like divorce, remarriage, domestic violence, sexuality and having affair. Marriage was once part of the natural progression into adulthood, a mean of achieving independence and an identity distinct from one's parents (Parker, 2002). As marriage is a part of psychological development, the identities of individuals are developed in the process of developing marital relationship. Task accomplishment in marital relationship, communication in marital relationship and affective expression in marital relationship are elements that have relationship with the developing of identity or self-esteem of married individuals. 9 1.3 Objective of the Study 1.3.1 General Objective The main purpose of this study is to identify the relationship between quality of marital relationship and self-esteem among the Christian of Grace Baptist Church. 1.3.2 Specific Objectives The objectives of this study are to determine: 1. the relationship between quality relationship and level of self-esteem among the married Christian of Grace Baptist Church. 2. the difference of self-esteem base on demographic factor of gender. 3. the relationship between task accomplishment in marital relationship and self-esteem. 4. the relationship between communication in marital relationship and self-esteem. 5. the relationship between affective expression in marital relationship and self-esteem. 10 1.4 Conceptual Framework Demographic Factors Gender Dependent Variable Independent Variable Self-esteem Quality of the Relationship Task Accomplishment Communication Affective Expression Diagram 1.1 The conceptual framework of quality in marital relationship and self-esteem 1.5 Research Hypothesis Ho1: There is no significant relationship between quality in marital relationship and self-esteem. Ho2: There is no significant difference of self-esteem base on demographic factor of gender. Ho3: There is no significant relationship between task accomplishment and self-esteem. Ho4: There is no significant relationship between communication and self-esteem. Ho5: There is no significant relationship between affective expression and self-esteem. 11
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