“Sample65”
Grade.Topic.Question
9.10.5
Question:
Examine the social, political, and economic impact of the Atlantic slave trade on Africa,
including the development of the kingdoms of the Ashanti and Dahomey.
The slave trade left the continent underdeveloped. Millions of able-bodied individuals were
transported away, the death toll was high, and economic and environmental destruction
resulted from wars and slave raids. Famines came after many military actions.
The population of Africa remained stagnant. The slave trade resulted in the development of
some kingdoms that preyed on others just to gather slaves. Communities relocated as far from
the slavers' route as possible. Technological and economic development was slowed -- people
devoted their energy to hiding and defending themselves.
Ashanti controlled the gold-producing zones and needed a constant supply of prisoners to be
sold as slaves for firearms. Asante maintained its power until the 1820s as the dominant state
of the Gold Coast.
Dahomey developed as a power in the 17th century and grew toward the coast attracted a
large number of European traders there. Dahomey maintained its independence and relied on
the cycle of trade in firearms for slaves.
Why is this only worth “65”?
Informational Compositions:
 Topic undeveloped.
 Limited supporting information.
 Language use is simple; domain-specific
vocabulary absent where expected.
 Writing is mostly descriptive, not analytical.
Argument Compositions:
 Two claims are only minimally supported.
 May have inadequate command of the topic.
 Opposing claim under-developed.
 Lacks domain-specific vocabulary
What could make it worth more?
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Add more details (names, dates, events).
Add more analysis (cause and effect, compare and
contrast, categorize or group ideas).
Replace simple phrases with domain-specific
vocabulary.
For arguments, develop the case more fully by
saying why things you assert are true.