1. health and fitness
2. addiction

GRAY WOLF RANCH
WILDERNES S RECOVERY LODGE
Photo from GWR Family Trek aboard the Adventuress
FAMILY HANDBOOK
MISSION STATEMENT
The mission of Gray Wolf Ranch is to provide a natural, safe,
and supportive setting for beginning a structured progression
towards a sober lifestyle.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION ....................................................................................... 3
TREATMENT INFORMATION .................................................................... 4
Gray Wolf Treatment Philosophy
How You Can Help Your Son While He Is Here
BEHAVIORS AND DYNAMICS TO WATCH FOR ...................................... 7
Family Visits
Gifts
Money
What You Won’t Be Able To Do
PROGRAM LENGTH ............................................................................... 18
Continuing Care
Rights and Grievances
PROGRAM EXPECTATIONS ................................................................... 20
Behavioral Expectations and Consequences
Visits and Leaves of Absence
Money and Gifts
Prohibited Items
TREKS ..................................................................................................... 26
COMMUNICATIONS ............................................................................... 29
Communication Between GWR and You
Key Program Staff
Mail
ADDITIONAL PROGRAM SERVICES ...................................................... 32
Mental Health Professionals
Medical Needs
Physical Training
Activities
Alumni, Family and Renewal Trips
THE LEARNING CENTER ....................................................................... 35
Coursework Offered
Online Curriculum System
Home School Support
Certified Teachers
Tutoring
TRANSPORTATION ................................................................................. 39
Airport Information
Driving Directions
Local Information and Accomodations
THE GRAY WOLF RANCH COTTAGE..................................................... 43
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GRAY WOLF RANCH
INTRODUCTION
In the following material we hope to provide you with information that will facilitate your participation in your son’s treatment experience. Please keep in mind that each Resident at Gray Wolf receives an individualized treatment plan, and as each Resident’s treatment issues are different, some of your son’s requirements and privileges at Gray Wolf may be different from others. !"#$%&"#'()*"$%+,**%*)-%."#%/'"+%-0)%(1)&,2&%3"4*(%"5%
your son’s treatment plan. We realize that this is a very difficult time for your
family and that you have placed an extraordinary
amount of trust in Gray Wolf Ranch by sending your
son here. We are very good at what we do and
believe that our credibility in the treatment field is
well-founded. This can be hard to remember when
things get difficult or if you disagree with or don’t
understand an approach we’re taking.
Please be direct with us with your concerns and
questions. We have the responsibility to be able to
articulate a rationale for the things we do and the
desired outcome. Your son’s counselor is typically
the best point of contact with us, but you are always
welcome to contact the Clinical Director or the
Program Director whenever you have a concern.
3
TREATMENT INFORMATION
GRAY WOLF RANCH
GWR TREATMENT PHILOSOPHY
4
Your son has come to Gray Wolf Ranch, not to establish
abstinence – presumably that has already happened in
primary treatment. Rather, he has come to us to begin
learning how to live a sober life. Sobriety in the Twelve
Step community is traditionally understood to go beyond
“putting the plug in the jug,” and is characterized by an
increasing sense of well-being and comfort with living
a drug-free life. Treatment at Gray Wolf is designed to
help teach and encourage behaviors that are supportive
of a recovery lifestyle.
There is always the temptation for the addict and his
family to look for a quick fix to the addiction problem
– thinking, now that the insanity of active using has
stopped, “we can all just get back to normal.”
Unfortunately, it’s not quite that easy! What we at Gray
Wolf intend to do is nurture the beginning of a life-long
process that identifies the traits and behaviors that
supported the active addiction and identify alternative
behaviors and coping strategies that will support and
enhance recovery.
There is a saying in Twelve Step recovery: “If you sober
up a drunken horse thief you still have a horse thief!”
Once an addict becomes abstinent, the real work
begins. This next step requires vigilance, motivation
and work by the recovering addict. In the case of
adolescents and young adults, it requires vigilance,
motivation and work by the parents and other family
members as well.
The Treatment Plan at Gray Wolf will address multiple aspects of the resident’s life, including physical, psychological, social, family relationships, and spiritual.
Within these areas there will be a focus on identifying belief systems and behaviors that have led the resident to self­
destructive behavior in the past and helping him change these patterns to support abstinence and a successful lifestyle. Gray Wolf also utilizes a positive peer culture, which means that residents are encouraged to share with each other honestly, support each other and hold each other accountable to appropriate behaviors. Residents will learn that by relying on others and working on recovery as part of community, they will greatly increase their chances of maintaining a sober lifestyle.
The Twelve Step Principles of Alcoholics Anonymous will also guide the experience of the Gray Wolf Resident. We strongly encourage you to read the book Alcoholics Anonymous.
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GRAY WOLF RANCH
How You Can Help Your Son While He Is Here
6
Honesty and open communication between everyone involved in your son’s treatment is very important. Be aware that your son may not always be telling you and his counselor the same thing; please double check ,'5"$64-,"'%-04-%,(%(,3',2&4'-%"$%#'#(#4*%+,-0%."#$%("'7(%
counselor.
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rule or expectation while in treatment, please do not keep this a secret for him. It is always in his best interest to address these issues openly.
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about things that will facilitate your son’s successful treatment. Sometimes they will not be things that are easy to hear. For example, the counselor may suggest a period of time without phone calls between you and your son, or may recommend that you not come for a planned visit.
These recommendations are made to help your son address his treatment issues as effectively as possible. Please be open with the counselor about any concerns you have about these recommendations and be honest about your willingness to follow through with them.
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your son’s treatment; for example, you may know he is talking on the phone to old friends who are using.
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often uncomfortable and it is not unusual for a Gray Wolf Resident to want to leave, particularly at the beginning of his stay. Letting your son know that you are committed to his completion of treatment and that leaving early is not an option will go a long way in allowing him to settle in and do the work he needs to do.
Behaviors And Dynamics To Watch For
In order to “succeed” as an active alcoholic or drug
addict, your son has had to develop an extensive
repertoire of manipulative, controlling and diversionary
tactics to keep everyone off his trail. The addiction
took him hostage. As your son progressed in his
chemical use, he was being taught by his addiction to
become masterful at creating smoke screens.
These tactics, especially because they generally succeeded, are not easily abandoned. Even though he may sincerely want to recover and change his behaviors, your son will inevitably revert to some of the strategies he learned from his addiction – especially +0)'%0)%,(%;),'3%4(/)<%-"%-4/)%4%<,52&#*-%(-)1%"$%64/)%
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Usually using these tactics is only partly conscious; that makes them all the more dangerous, especially for chemically dependent people in early recovery, since most of the behaviors that lead to relapse are only partly conscious. If we do not push to unmask these behaviors and give the person an opportunity to become aware of them and change them, we become accomplices of the addiction. While you are ultimately not responsible for nor can you control your son’s recovery, your awareness and choice of response can hinder or advance the change needed to support recovery. Being on guard for some traits that are common among addicts is a good start. 7
GRAY WOLF RANCH
8
Self­pity: “Poor me, poor me ­­ pour me a drink.” Your son instinctively knows how to pull the family heartstrings. He may use this technique to manipulate you when he feels that he is being asked to do too much in treatment or recovery, or when he is feeling sorry for himself or looking for an easy escape from some responsibility. Most parents and other family members can distinguish between self­pity and legitimate pain, remorse or grief. Trust your instincts and talk with the counselor. The two are often easily discernable. Feeling sorry for a person in recovery and allowing him an easy out is never helpful – it only reinforces dishonest, manipulative behavior.
Aggression: This may come into play after other behaviors fail and can be accompanied with threats. Yelling, swearing and name­calling are not acceptable behavior. We strongly encourage you NOT to put up with it. Ask him to stop. If he doesn’t, get off the phone or walk away until he is willing to be respectful. It is not helpful to respond to aggression with aggression. Threatening: This is a bargaining tactic to get you to do his bidding. Remember, you need to be in control, not your son. Giving in to threats will only guarantee that they will continue. There are occasions when an individual will make a serious threat (e.g. harm to self or others). Treat this with respect and call us so we &4'%4<<$)((%,-@%%="%'"-%$)(1"'<%-"%-0$)4-(%+,-0%-0$)4-(@%
Passive­aggressive behavior: This refers to passive, sometimes obstructionist resistance in interpersonal or occupational situations. It can manifest itself as resentment, stubbornness, procrastination, sullenness, or repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is responsible.
Silence: This can be used early in his stay if a resident feels he had ‘no say’ in coming here. It typically doesn’t *4(-%*"'3@%%="'7-%;)%4*4$6)<%AA%&0)&/%"'%0,(%1$"3$)((%
through his counselor. He will call when he’s ready. Feel free to call and leave messages, but if you become “desperate,” he’ll know the silent treatment is working! Triangulation: %?04'&)(%4$)%."#7$)%4*$)4<.%546,*,4$%+,-0%
this. This tactic thrives when people are not communi­
cating with each other; they can be successfully manipu­
lated because they only have pieces of the whole story. If, for example, parents have issues with each other, it is easy for an addict to play one parent against the other to keep the focus off him and his issues. It is not uncom­
mon for our residents to attempt to play parents against staff: if your son knows that you miss him and would love to have him return home, he can readily get you to take his side and against the treatment team who may be making a clinical recommendation for a different op­
tion.
With triangulation, perhaps more than other behaviors, it is vital to the success of the treatment process that you remain in open, honest communication with your son’s counselor. Having all stakeholders on the same page with the same information is a successful antidote to this kind of manipulation. It is also important that parents and other family members identify and separate their own needs from those of the recovering addict so that the focus can remain on his recovery.
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GRAY WOLF RANCH
!"#$%&'()*#(&#+ A lot happens in primary treatment, and your son has undoubtedly learned a great deal about himself and his addiction. It is pretty common for young treatment graduates to feel that they know what they need to do and have “this thing under control.” B0).%04:)%4%04$<%-,6)%,643,','3%0"+%5"#$%"$%2:)%6"$)%
months of treatment is going to help them (not to men­
tion that this seems like an eternity to them).
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Unfortunately, most young people who go straight home after treatment, even with good and sincere in­
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ability to deal with early recovery and have underesti­
mated how relentless the illness of addiction is. The most common result is relapse. The addict’s argument that he knows what to do and just needs to go home and do it is compelling because it contains a kernel of truth and because he usually genuinely intends to stay clean. It seems reasonable.
The problem is that it is naïve to assume that a little /'"+*)<3)%4'<%3""<%,'-)'-,"'(%4$)%(#52&,)'-%-"%4&­
complish sobriety. Most people who go to treatment have already tried to quit based on a little knowledge and good intentions and found that they were quickly overwhelmed by the addiction because they lacked the time away from familiar people, places and things that it takes to establish new habits; they lacked the personal insight into how their thoughts and behaviors are still )4(,*.%<,(-"$-)<E%-0).%*4&/)<%-0)%;)')2-%"5%;),'3%(#$­
rounded by people who actually have a successful his­
tory of remaining abstinent and knowing how to avoid relapse pitfalls.
“Terminal” Uniqueness: The Twelve Step community
has coined this phrase because, ironically, one of
the most common traits for addicts is to think they’re
completely different from everyone else. While each
addict is a unique individual, the commonality he has
with other chemically dependent people is astonishing.
The kind of denial that frequently accompanies
addiction would have the individual focus on all the
things that make him different. Part of recovery is to
identify the traits addicts have in common and focus on
the common solution for those. Your son may use this
argument if he feels that he is somehow the exception
to the rule and doesn’t agree on how we’re proposing to
deal with a particular issue, or if he thinks he shouldn’t
be in treatment at all.
Keep two things in mind here: To qualify for admission
to any treatment center, your son needs to have
fulfilled specific diagnostic criteria for a diagnosis
of chemical dependency, from a history taken by a
qualified professional. The reality of his addiction is
not someone’s casual opinion. And, it is the ethical
and professional responsibility of the treatment team
at Gray Wolf to balance the individual needs and
personality of the client with the commonality that
enables us to understand him so well.
Incidentally, it is the amazing commonality among
addicts and alcoholics that enables programs such as
Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous to
work as well as they do.
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GRAY WOLF RANCH
Speed: This behavior is used to make you think you
have to act NOW. It is used well with other behaviors
such as triangulation. Confusion and high emotional
response is the goal of speed. It is an ambush tactic
designed to catch you off balance and control your
response. There is rarely anything so urgent that it
must be taken care of this minute. Speed makes us pay
attention to everything but the issue at hand: addiction.
Slow down, work at your speed, not his.
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The Maze: The maze is a series of half-truths, dead
ends and misdirection used to confuse you. Speed also
works well with this tactic. If you find yourself lost in a
conversation and cannot get a straight answer or find
your son jumping from one topic to another, you are in
the Maze. Be firm and ask direct questions until they are
answered.
Bargaining: This also has likely started in some form
before the addict went to treatment. The individual will
promise never to do drugs again, go to school, go to
meetings, get a sponsor, and do the dishes nightly or
anything else he thinks will get him out of treatment.
This is often used over time in an effort to wear you
down. It is important to remember why you worked so
hard to get your son into treatment in the first place and
to remember all of his previous well-intended but failed
promises.
There’s another saying in the Twelve Step community:
“If you keep doing what you did, you’ll keep getting
what you got.” This means that, in order for recovery
to really work, the addict has to commit to doing
something radically different than he has ever done in
an attempt to stay clean. Making promises or trying
to strike bargains as a shortcut for the real thing is old
behavior that has a proven track record – it doesn’t
work!
The purpose of all these behaviors is to take you
hostage and control or coerce you to act when you do
not need to. Open communication between you, your
son and his counselor is essential to the success of the
treatment process. We cannot expect good results if
we are working at cross-purposes.
You may be embarrassed to find yourself using some
of the same behaviors mentioned above to convince
your son to stay in treatment. If you find yourself using
these behaviors, please talk with us; we can help.
Often other members of the family have been “trained”
right along with the addict to respond to diversionary
tactics or to allow themselves to be successfully
manipulated. It is necessary to sabotage the ineffective
tools and replace them with new ones that work. This
requires work on everybody’s part.
Our goal in outlining these issues is not to discourage
you or to paint an overly negative picture. It is intended
to be realistic and straightforward, since we work with
an illness that thrives in an atmosphere of denial and
wishful thinking.
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Family Visits
GRAY WOLF RANCH
Since your son is at Gray Wolf, he will obviously be
absent from his home for some months. Some families
welcome the temporary absence of their son as a muchdeserved break from the chaos and drama they were
living with prior to intervening on the disease. Others
experience it as a time of painful separation, especially
if their son is younger and hasn’t been away from home
much.
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We encourage you to visit your son while he is in
treatment. Typically, families will visit one to three times
during their son’s stay depending on schedules and
ability to travel. We ask that you give your son ample
space and time to settle into the Gray Wolf program.
After about six to eight weeks he will have had a chance
to settle in, go on a trek and invest in his treatment
process. Some parents find this to be a difficult length
of time to delay a visit, but given the overwhelming
importance of keeping the focus on the treatment
process, it is a sacrifice most are willing to make.
When you do come for a visit, we’d like to make the
most of your time here. Your son’s counselor will
want to spend time with you and your son to discuss
progress, struggles he may be having, what happens
next, concerns that you have, and so forth. We also
encourage families to spend some time enjoying each
other away from Gray Wolf. A long weekend in Seattle,
Vancouver or Victoria B.C. or in Port Townsend will
also offer plenty of interesting activities and beautiful
surroundings to suit your tastes.
Gifts
Your son may be at Gray Wolf during a time of typical
gift giving: birthday, Christmas, Hanukkah, or other
holidays. We encourage you to send only one gift for
these occasions. As with money, young men can be
extremely competitive with possessions. It can be
difficult and embarrassing for a resident to receive only
one gift if his roommate has been showered with many
or extravagant presents. It is much more manageable if
all receive one appropriate gift.
Some parents tend to give money or gifts as incentives
or rewards. This may be appropriate for some
activities, but rewarding a recovering person with
‘things’ really devalues the experience and sends a
dangerous message. If recovery isn’t done for its own
sake out of a sincere desire to stop the pain and chaos
of active addiction, the real motives will become evident
all too soon. If your son needs to be “bribed” in order to
stay in treatment or continue the recovery process, he
may not be properly motivated in the first place.
The best possible gift you can give any chemically
dependent person is the opportunity to get well!
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Money
GRAY WOLF RANCH
Young men can be highly competitive with issues of
money and possessions. Also, addicts will instinctively
look outside themselves for solutions to their problems
or to deal with their feelings. One of the most common
distractions is buying things.
16
At Gray Wolf we have created a weekly allowance
system that provides for your son’s reasonable needs.
This can help him understand the value of money as
well as better understand the price of behaviors such
as smoking. Sometimes parents want to send their son
extra money as a gesture of care or to make a difficult
time in their lives a little easier.
We have a system in place for residents to get
counselor approval for purchases beyond typical
weekly items. Please do not send extra money. It is
also important to reinforce the message that recovery
is not done for money. The payment lies in freedom
from chemicals and restoration of trusting relationships.
What You Won’t Be Able To Do
You can’t do the work for your son. He is now
responsible for his recovery and planning. If you are
working harder than he is, there is a problem. If you
are more attached to the outcome of treatment than
he is, then you are in for heartbreak or more work than
you are capable of. One of the sad and painful realities
of chemical dependency treatment and recovery is that
none of us can get someone else sober. If that were
possible, we would gladly do it.
You can support, encourage, confront, draw boundaries,
and so on. But ultimately, if recovery isn’t your son’s
desire, it just won’t happen. Sometimes all you can
do is acknowledge this reality, step back (“detach with
love”), hope that the next set of consequences will get
his attention enough to motivate him and take the best
care of yourself in the process as you can. It doesn’t do
anyone any good if you sacrifice yourself in the process.
It may seem noble – it just doesn’t work!
This painful reality became apparent early enough in the
history of Alcoholics Anonymous that the necessary and
logical recovery program for those who love addicts and
alcoholics revealed itself and AlAnon was born. Just as
AA, NA or any of the other Twelve Step programs have
the potential to help the addict get better, AlAnon has
the potential to help those who may want recovery for
the addict more than he wants it for himself.
By all means use AlAnon and other resources. It is
essential that recovery ultimately be your son’s process;
yours is separate. You can call 1-888-4AL-ANON for
meeting times and places near you.
Here are some books that others have found helpful:
I’ll Quit Tomorrow, by Vernon Johnson
Another Chance, by Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse
The Parent’s Tao Te Ching, by William Martin, Hank
Tusinski
Facing Codependence, by Pia Mellody, et al.
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Program Length
GRAY WOLF RANCH
Gray Wolf is a four to six month program. The treatment team will decide your son’s estimated discharge date early in his stay based on a variety of information, including, but not limited to, previous treatment experience, maturity, willingness, and aftercare options. A commitment by both the resident and the family to the entire course of treatment is essential. 18
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resident may at times be looking for the slightest opening to make it acceptable to quit and leave early. Residents who are in the program knowing that they can come home if they “just make it 30 days”, or if they “just make it through the next trek”, will not do the work they need to do and will not get the help they need.
Continuing Care
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that at one time made sense, such as living at home, going back to high school, or starting college, may no longer be the best plan in the face of your son’s chemical dependency. The Gray Wolf clinical team will make a recommendation based on what they believe will provide your son the greatest opportunity to maintain sobriety and be successful. Please strongly consider any aftercare recommendations given.
B0)%H"*57(%=)'%,(%4'%45-)$&4$)%(";)$%0"#()%,'%I"$-%
Townsend run by Gray Wolf, providing a transitional step for the resident between treatment and being out on his own. J"-%4**%K$4.%H"*5%$)(,<)'-(%+,**%;)%411$"1$,4-)%5"$%-0)%=)'%
as an aftercare option. We strongly recommend that residents who do not move into the Wolf’s Den do not stay in Port Townsend, #'*)((%-0)$)%4$)%(1)&,2&%1*4'(%-04-%4$)%,'%
place prior to discharge from Gray Wolf. Gray Wolf does not provide supervisory services for alumni who are not
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Rights and Grievances
Upon entry to the Ranch, residents receive a handbook -04-%&"'-4,'(%-0),$%$,30-(%4'<%,'5"$64-,"'%"'%0"+%-"%2*)%4%
grievance. If you have a concern, complaint or grievance 4;"#-%-0)%L4'&0C%-0)%2$(-%(-)1%(0"#*<%;)%-"%<,(&#((%-0)%
issue with your son’s counselor. If the issue can not be resolved this way, please speak with the Program =,$)&-"$@
19
Program Expectations
Behavioral Expectations and Consequences
GRAY WOLF RANCH
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each new resident. It contains program rules and general expectations and explains very clearly what behaviors could result in his being asked to leave the ranch.
20
The most serious violations are:
1) Use of any mood­altering substances except as prescribed, including misuse of prescription or over­ the­counter medication
2) Knowing or suspecting another resident has violated rule number one and not reporting it to a Gray Wolf staff
3) Any violence or threat of violence
4) Involvement in any sexual, romantic or exclusive relationship
5) Stealing at or outside of Gray Wolf Ranch
6) Violating curfew restrictions
7) Gambling 8) Possession of sexually explicit material
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Your son’s counselor will inform you if your son violates any "5%-0)%4;":)%$#*)(@%=)1)'<,'3%"'%-0)%()$,"#(')((%"5%-0)%
violation, how your son is doing in other aspects of his treatment and other factors, a decision will be made by the treatment team about what the consequences will be.
Program Expectations generally revolve around self­care, house duties, respect for other residents, and time and money management. Your son’s willingness and ability to adhere to these expectations, although some of them ,'<,:,<#4**.%64.%())6%6,'"$C%,(%4%$)>)&-,"'%"5%0"+%0)%,(%
doing in treatment. The following consequences may be given for not following expectations:
Unsats – A Resident is expected each morning to attend meditation and community meeting, complete his chore and clean his room. If he does not meet these expectations satisfactorily he will receive an UNSAT (unsatisfactory) for the day. Three UNSATS for the week places the $)(,<)'-%"'%LQRBL9?B9SJ%5"$%-0)%+))/)'<@
Restriction%T%G%$)(,<)'-%64.%;)%1*4&)<%"'%LQRBL9?B9SJ%
status for getting three or more UNSATS, for other (,3',2&4'-%:,"*4-,"'(%"5%)U1)&-4-,"'(C%5"$%$#*)%:,"*4-,"'(%"$%5"$%
treatment issues if it is not considered safe for him to be in the community. Restriction means that his time in town alone will be curtailed and he will go to AA or NA meetings only with staff transporting him. His participation in recreational activities may be restricted or he may have other privileges removed. Some residents may be required to go on certain activities if it is believed to be therapeutic for them.
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GRAY WOLF RANCH
Contract – A Resident who commits a rule violation, chronically breaks expectations or fails to adequately perform his treatment work may be placed on a contract. B0,(%;)04:,"$4*%&"'-$4&-%+,**%;)%(1)&,2&4**.%+$,--)'%5"$%
the resident and will clearly spell out what he needs to do to remain in treatment at Gray Wolf Ranch. If a resident fails to meet the expectations of his contract, a plan for discharge will be made. You will always be informed if your son is placed on a contract.
22
Discharge ­ A resident may be asked to leave the program for a variety of reasons including those mentioned above. The treatment team will make a recommendation as to where they believe the resident will best be served when he leaves the Ranch. Gray Wolf will help facilitate movement to another recommended treatment center if that option is
chosen by the resident and the family.
House Consequences – The treatment environment at Gray Wolf is peer oriented, and the input and examples "5%"-0)$%1))$(%,(%4%1"+)$5#*%,'>#)'&)%"'%)4&0%$)(,<)'-@%
Occasionally, if the house culture is becoming too tolerant and peers are not effectively holding each other accountable, a house consequence will be given. This may involve the temporary removal of privileges such as listening to music or watching TV, or it may be a day of service work somewhere. This has proven to be an effective way to refocus the residents on their treatment.
Visits and Leaves of Absence
Families are encouraged to come and visit their son while he is in treatment at GWR. Most families will visit one to three times during their son’s stay, depending on different factors. Always speak with your son’s GWR counselor before making arrangements for a visit. When visiting, the family may take the resident away from the Ranch for a leave of absence (LOA), usually not exceeding four days. Visits from friends, girlfriends or other non­family members are typically not permitted. We hope that your visit allows you and your family to )U1)$,)'&)%("6)%"5%-0)%;)4#-.%"5%-0)%I4&,2&%J"$-0+)(-@%
There are plenty of interesting things to see and do in and around Port Townsend. The area offers a variety of places to stay including motels, resorts, campgrounds and bed and breakfasts. Seattle, Victoria and Vancouver F?%4'<%-0)%I4&,2&%&"4(-%4'<%S*.61,&%$4,'5"$)(-%4$)%4**%
)4(.%":)$',30-%-$,1(%5$"6%I"$-%B"+'()'<@%%S#$%"52&)%4'<%
staff are happy to help you with suggestions and local knowledge. See the last section of the Handbook for more local numbers and information.
When on an LOA your son should not be left unsupervised, or go out alone with friends or siblings. To remain consistent with the treatment environment, please avoid taking your son to places where he might encounter drinking, gambling or nudity.
Home visits are usually not allowed, but might happen in unusual circumstances. If your son does come home, he must be supervised at all times. Going out with friends or girlfriends is not appropriate.
23
Money and Gifts
GRAY WOLF RANCH
We prefer that you not send or give money to your son while in treatment at Gray Wolf. If you would like to give him money as a gift for a special occasion or purchase, 1*)4()%(1)4/%+,-0%0,(%&"#'()*"$%2$(-@
24
Residents are expected to turn in any money they receive or that they earn in the community. They receive an allowance on Monday and Friday. Please limit gifts and items sent ­ there is limited storage space at the Ranch and most items they will need during their stay are provided here. The ancillary account has been set up as a way for Residents to purchase items they may need with your and their counselor’s permission.
Part of a resident’s treatment is to help him distinguish between wants and needs and make him aware of his <)(,$)%5"$%,'(-4'-%3$4-,2&4-,"'@%R"6)%1#$&04()%$)D#)(-(%
may be denied, even though they seem reasonable to you and your son.
We strongly discourage items such as bicycles, snowboards, golf clubs, etc. Please check with your son’s &"#'()*"$%;)5"$)%()'<,'3%4'.%(,3',2&4'-%,-)6(%),-0)$%4(%
gifts or from his belongings. Please inform other family
members of these policies also.
Any items left at the Ranch after a resident has left will be shipped to the home address. Shipping costs will 411)4$%"'%-0)%2'4*%,':",&)@
Prohibited Items
Items that residents are not allowed to have in their possession while at GWR include: %
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8%4'.%-.1)%"5%+)41"'%,'&*#<,'3%FF%"$%1)**)-%3#'(
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obscenity, racist or sexist messages
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If the resident has a pocketknife he may keep it in
safekeeping and check it out for trek, (although knives are never needed.) If you are unsure about the appropriateness of something, speak with his &"#'()*"$%2$(-@
25
Treks
GRAY WOLF RANCH
Risk is an inherent part of wilderness travel, and we embrace it as a part of the learning process. Recognizing and managing risk can be used as a tool for personal growth and is an integral part to the safety and health of our staff and residents. Gray Wolf has an excellent safety record and meets or exceeds national standards in outdoor programming. We are accredited by the Association for Experiential Education, the same organization that accredits leading outdoor schools such as Outward Bound and the National Outdoor Leadership School.
26
Every Gray Wolf Ranch trek is planned and staffed by highly skilled wilderness professionals; each trek group +,**%04:)%4%H,*<)$')((%B$)/%X)4<)$%4'<%4%?*,',&4*%R-455%
Member present. The trek groups carry cell phones, but there will be times when they will be isolated and out of communication. Although there are emergency procedures in place to establish contact in the case of a true emergency, you should not expect to be able to communicate with your son when he is away on trek.
Wilderness treks are a required part of the treatment
experience at Gray Wolf Ranch. If a resident incurs an illness or injury while at the ranch, he will be seen by a medical professional to be cleared for trek; residents will be excused from a trek only if they are deemed medically unable to go. It is not unusual for young men to experience some fear or hesitation about going on a trek, especially if it is a new experience or if they are not in good physical shape.
When on trek, residents need to carry a minimal amount of gear and must have special permission to bring anything extra – gadgets and goodies are not needed. All gear for treks such as sleeping bags, boots and packs will be provided. Most other gear such as socks and long underwear can be purchased at the GWR trek center. Items that a resident will need to bring or buy in town are listed below.
For life in Port Townsend:
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8%(0,$-(C%(0"$-%(*)):)%4'<%*"'3%(*)):)
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8%Y]O%14,$(%"5%(0"$-(
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8%-",*)-$,)(
27
GRAY WOLF RANCH
28
For Treks:
1) Residents must provide the following. All of these items are available in Port Townsend.
8%54(-A<$.,'3%(0"$-(%Y\%14,$O%'"%&"--"'
8%\%BA(0,$-%Y64.%;)%&"--"'O
8%&461%(0")(%Y6#(-%;)%(')4/)$(O
8%(#'A04-%Y;4**%&41O
8%*,30-)$
2) The following items may be purchased at the Trek ?)'-)$%"$%."#%64.%(#11*.%."#$%"+'@%%S#$%1$,&)(%4$)%
&"614$4;*)%-"%+04-%."#%&4'%2'<%,'%-"+'@
8%+""*%("&/(%YZ%14,$(O
8%*,')$%("&/(%%Y]%14,$(O
8%1"*.1$"1.*)')%*"'3%#'<)$+)4$%Y-"1(%4'<%;"--"6(O
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3) The following items may be borrowed from the Trek ?)'-)$%4-%'"%&04$3)@%%!"#%64.%;$,'3%."#$%"+'%)D#,16)'-%
only if it meets our requirements.
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>))&)%^4&/)-(C%:)(-(%4'<%14'-(E%0,/,'3%;""-(
Equipment: backpack, sleeping bag, sleeping pad, eating utensils, headlamp.
Group gear: tents or tarps, stoves, cooking gear, water 1#$,2&4-,"'%-4;*)-(C%04'<%(4',-,W)$C%$)14,$%64-)$,4*(C%2$(-%
aid kits.
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Communication between GWR and You
You will be kept informed of your son’s progress through weekly phone calls from his counselor. You will also be informed, in a timely manner, in the event of an injury or serious illness or if something has happened that might jeopardize your son’s continued residency. The counselor will be your primary contact at the Ranch. `"$%$)4("'(%"5%&"'2<)'-,4*,-.%4'<%-0)%54&-%-04-%'"-%4**%(-455%
will have all the current information about every resident, we discourage any staff other than the counselor from getting into involved conversations with parents. If you need to speak with someone immediately and your son’s counselor is not available, please ask to speak with the I$"3$46%=,$)&-"$C%?*,',&4*%R#1)$:,("$%"$%-0)%&"#'()*"$%"'%
call.
Key Program Staff
You can reach any Gray Wolf Ranch staff member by <,4*,'3%abbA[c\A[[b[@%%?"#'()*"$(%04:)%:4$.,'3%(0,5-(E%
your son’s counselor will let you know when he works.
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Fri. Gray Wolf is staffed and has a person available to answer the phone 24 hours a day. =#$,'3%-$)/(C%45-)$%e_Zb%Id%"$%"&&4(,"'4**.%<#$,'3%
other day trips we forward our phones to an answering service. If you leave a message, the service will communicate it to the appropriate staff. In case of emergency, the answering service will always know whom to contact.
29
Name
Email Address
Program Director
Woody Bernas
[email protected]
Clinical Director
Kris Kampf
kris@ graywolfranch.com
Trek Program Manager
Craig Isenberg
craigi@ graywolfranch.com
Financial Manager
Hal Peifer
hal@ graywolfranch.com
Business Office Manager
Judy Herwer
judy@ graywolfranch.com
Education Coordinator
Helen Riff
helen@ graywolfranch.com
GRAY WOLF RANCH
Key Program Staff
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Phone Calls
Any calls for a Gray Wolf resident will be sent to the residents’ voice mail. To protect a resident’s &"'2<)'-,4*,-.C%-0)%(-455%person answering the phone will '"-%&"'2$6%"$%<)'.%-04-%."#$%("'%,(%0)$)@%%B0)%$)(,<)'-(7%
voice mail will be checked periodically and the messages written by hand and placed on a bulletin board for the resident (the residents themselves do not listen to these messages.) If a message is time sensitive you may request that the staff check the messages as soon as possible.
Remember that the residents are usually away from Gray Wolf during the day on weekdays, so they will normally not 3)-%6)((43)(%#'-,*%45-)$%[_bb%Id%I4&,2&%B,6)@
Residents may place outgoing calls from phones located here at Gray Wolf. You may send your son phone cards to use or he can purchase them for a reasonable price at Gray Wolf Ranch during business hours. Phone calls are limited to 10 minutes; please help your son adhere to this rule.
Mail
Mail sent to Gray Wolf should be addressed to the resident:
&V"%K$4.%H"*5%L4'&0
PO Box 102
Port Townsend, WA 98368
Mail will be picked up daily and given to the residents.
Packages sent via UPS or other couriers should be addressed to:
&V"%K$4.%H"*5%L4'&0
3804 Hastings Ave. W.
Port Townsend, WA 98368
Residents must open all packages in the presence of staff.
Residents can take letters to the Gray Wolf Ranch business "52&)%-"%;)%64,*)<E%envelopes are provided and stamps can be purchased. Packages can be shipped from the UPS Store and will be billed to the resident’s ancillary account.
31
Additional Program Services
GRAY WOLF RANCH
In addition to the Gray Wolf treatment program itself a $)(,<)'-%64.%$)D#,$)%"$%;)')2-%5$"6%4<<,-,"'4*%()$:,&)(%
that will incur a separate fee.
32
Psychiatrist ­ All residents who are taking a psychiatric medication will be required to periodically see the consulting psychiatrist who will be responsible for managing their medication. Occasionally, the treatment team may recommend that a resident who is not on medication receive a psychiatric evaluation to see if he 6,30-%;)')2-%5$"6%4%1(.&0,4-$,&%6)<,&4-,"'E%."#%+,**%4*+4.(%
be consulted before such a referral is made.
Psychologist%%A%`"$%-0"()%$)(,<)'-(%+0"%&4'%;)')2-%5$"6%
and are interested in more intensive therapy, a consulting psychologist is available for weekly sessions. Your son’s counselor will inform you if he would like to make a referral to the psychologist.
Physical Exam – All residents must have a complete physical before they can be cleared to participate in a Gray Wolf trek. Gray Wolf uses a family practitioner in Port Townsend for these physicals as well as to take care of other general medical needs that come up while residents
are at the ranch.
Medical Appointments – If a resident has a medical need, he is expected to communicate this to the ?"66#',-.%R)$:,&)%?""$<,'4-"$%4-%GWR, who handles all of the medical appointments. If you have a medical &"'&)$'%4;"#-%."#$%("'C%1*)4()%(1)4/%+,-0%-0)%?R?%
before arranging any appointments yourself. Insurance and payment for medical needs are handled through the `,'4'&,4*%S52&)@
Medications ­ All medications must be handled through the psychiatrist or medical doctor that the resident is seeing while here at GWR. Please do not send medications to your son, or prescribe them yourself. We can facilitate communication with the local doctors if you would like to advocate for a certain medication or treatment. If you would like your son to take certain over the counter medications, herbal remedies or vitamins – please let a staff person know. Staff must monitor and approve the use of all such items.
Medical Specialists ­ Gray Wolf has connections with a variety of medical specialists in the area, including dermatologists, physical therapists, oral surgeons, chiropractors, etc. If residents are referred or request specialized treatment while they are at Gray Wolf Ranch, ("6)"')%+,**%&"'-4&-%."#%+,-0%-0,(%,'5"$64-,"'@%%=)1)'<,'3%
"'%#$3)'&.C%2'4'&)(%"$%"-0)$%54&-"$(C%4%$)(,<)'-%64.%
choose to undergo treatment while he is at the ranch
or wait until he returns to the home area. If the decision is made to see a specialist while at Gray Wolf, the ?"66#',-.%R)$:,&)%?""$<,'4-"$%+,**%64/)%-0)%411",'-6)'-%
for him.
Physical Training
All residents receive an initial evaluation and consultation with a personal trainer at the local athletic club free of charge. On­going personal training sessions for
residents needing additional help may be scheduled for a fee.
33
Activities
Some of the recreational outings that Gray Wolf offers may also require an additional fee. These activities in the 14(-%04:)%,'&*#<)<%(#&0%-0,'3(%4(%(/,,'3V('"+;"4$<,'3C%
14,'-;4**C%,'<""$%$"&/%&*,6;,'3C%4'<%"&)4'%2(0,'3@%%%
With rare exceptions these are elective activities and participation by residents is optional.
GRAY WOLF RANCH
Alumni, Family and Renewal Trips
34
Gray Wolf Ranch wants to be an ongoing part of your family’s recovery process. We have put together a variety of alumni and family trips that have become popular with GWR alumni and their families and have included rafting, skiing, sailing and kayaking. We hope that you and your son will join us and continue a relationship after leaving Gray Wolf. These trips are a great way to re­connect with GWR staff and old friends and to make new friendships. Visit our web page, www.graywolfranch.com, or contact the GWR trek department for the current schedule.
The Learning Center
The main goal of our learning center is to assist residents in the development of appropriate educational plans and to provide guidance with assignments, projects, testing and education­related counseling. B0)%X)4$','3%?)'-)$%,(%"1)'%5$"6%N%4@6@%-"%[%1@6@%
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Educational Assistant, and scheduled Tutors are available during these hours. Generally, students work from 9:30­
11:30 a.m. and 1:30­3:30 p.m. The two­hour break allows students time to attend the noon AA meeting, or a Big Book Study Group, and also to have lunch. At present, the center is equipped with twelve Internet accessible computers, a copier, printer, scanner, fax machine and a library that includes math, science and history textbooks, *,-)$4-#$)C%^"#$'4*(C%6434W,')(C%4'<%2*6(@
Coursework Offered
B0$"#30%I"$-%B"+'()'<%M,30%R&0""*C%-0)%X)4$','3%?)'-)$%
offers credit for a variety of subjects, including: Social Studies, English, Algebra I and II, Geometry, Physics, Earth Sciences, History, Life Skills, Art and Physical Education. Our Life Skills instructor assists residents with coursework in Vocational Electives, Interpersonal ?"66#',&4-,"'%Q*)&-,:)(%4'<%X,5)%R/,**(%Q*)&-,:)(@%B0)%
Gray Wolf Ranch program’s life­skills related work can earn a resident as much as 180 credit hours toward high school graduation.
In addition to the above­mentioned coursework, the X)4$','3%?)'-)$%"55)$(%(-#<)'-(%,'<,:,<#4*,W)<%1$)14$4-,"'%
5"$%-0)%RGBC%G?BC%KLQC%4'<%KQ=%-)(-(@
35
Online Curriculum System
GRAY WOLF RANCH
Students have access to NovaNet, a national education program. This system offers thousands of hours of interactive studies and tools for the purpose of personalized assessment. After completion of their residency at Gray Wolf Ranch, students can continue to work with NovaNet anywhere in the United States where the system is available. For more information on NovaNet, please visit:
0--1_VV+++@1)4$("'<,3,-4*@&"6V'":4')- 36
Other online curriculums that are available to students 4-%-0)%X)4$','3%?)'-)$%,'&*#<)%1$"3$46(%4<6,',(-)$)<%
by Brigham Young University’s Independent Study Program, the University of Nebraska – Lincoln’s Preparatory High School, and Keystone National High School.
Home School Support
For those students enrolled in a home school or other ,'(-,-#-,"'%"5%0,30)$%*)4$','3C%-0)%X)4$','3%?)'-)$%
provides assistance with completion of assignments and monitoring of tests and exams. This assistance can include tutoring, as necessary.
,#$-.)#*/0#1&2#$3
B0)%Q<#&4-,"'%?""$<,'4-"$%4-%-0)%K$4.%H"*5%L4'&0%
X)4$','3%?)'-)$%,(%4%H4(0,'3-"'%R-4-)%&)$-,2)<%-)4&0)$C%
who interviews each new student in order to help create an individualized learning strategy that is geared to the resident’s abilities, interests, and previous educational experience. Additionally, an important component in the Gray Wolf Education Program is ongoing consultation ;)-+))'%-0)%Q<#&4-,"'%?""$<,'4-"$%4'<%)4&0%(-#<)'-7(%
counselor, the aim of which is to develop a course of study that is appropriate to each resident’s treatment plan. This collaboration helps to ensure that the goals and expectations set for each student are realistic and achievable, especially in the context of vulnerable early chemical dependency recovery. B0)%Q<#&4-,"'%?""$<,'4-"$%4&-(%4(%4%*,4,("'%-"%-0)%*"&4*%
high school, as well as to instructors and guidance counselors from other academic institutions and <,(-4'&)%*)4$','3%1$"3$46(@%B0)%X)4$','3%?)'-)$%(-455%
,(%4:4,*4;*)%5"$%&"'(#*-4-,"'(%+,-0%(-#<)'-(7%14$)'-(V
guardians and home school personnel. Progress reports are updated on a weekly basis.
Tutoring
Tutors provide instruction in both mainstream subjects as well as in more specialized areas, among them: f#4'-#6%d)&04',&(C%I0.(,&(C%?0)6,(-$.C%F$4,'%R-#<,)(C%
also Art and Art History, Film Studies, Photography 4'<%?$)4-,:)%H$,-,'3@%d#(,&%*)(("'(%4$)%4*("%4:4,*4;*)%
to students, as is assistance with the exploration of career opportunities, preparation of job applications and $)(#6)%+$,-,'3@%B0)%K$4.%H"*5%L4'&0%X)4$','3%?)'-)$%
utilizes the career­interest assessment tools found at 0--1_VV+++@+"*(@"$3 37
An additional weekly fee is charged for the services of the X)4$','3%?)'-)$E%1*)4()%&"'-4&-%-0)%`,'4'&,4*%d4'43)$%5"$%
current rates. GRAY WOLF RANCH
The Port Townsend High School program is not available in the summer, so residents coming into Gray Wolf near the end of May will not be able to enroll until September.
38
Please keep in mind that although the Education ?""$<,'4-"$%<")(%):)$.-0,'3%1"((,;*)%-"%3)-%(-#<)'-(%(-4$-)<%
in school in a timely manner, coordination between schools and involving transcripts can take considerable time, often up to two weeks. You can facilitate this process by getting an updated
High School transcript to Gray Wolf Ranch as soon as possible. Students earning credits through Port Townsend High School are subject to all of the requirements and (&0)<#*)(%"5%-04-%R&0""*%=,(-$,&-@
Transportation
Gray Wolf Ranch offers out­of­area transportation to and from the airport and to other appointments for Gray Wolf 4'<%H"*57(%=)'%L)(,<)'-(@%G%5))%,(%&04$3)<%5"$%-0,(%()$:,&)E%
please contact the Gray Wolf Financial Manager for &#$$)'-%$4-)(@%B0)%G<6,((,"'(%?"#'()*"$%+,**%&""$<,'4-)%
transportation for incoming Residents. For transportation needed for current residents, please provide information to the resident’s counselor as soon as possible. Once transportation has been arranged, any cancellations must be made at least 24 hours in advance. Residents or their families canceling less than 24 hours in advance will be charged the full rate.
Airport Information
d"(-%>,30-(%5"$%-0"()%3",'3%-"%4'<%5$"6%K$4.%H"*5%L4'&0%
+,**%3"%-0$"#30%RQGBG?%9'-*@%G,$1"$-C%+0,&0%,(%4;"#-%]%0"#$(%
away from Port Townsend.
`$"6%RQGBG?C%,-%,(%1"((,;*)%-"%-4/)%4%5)$$.%YR)4--*)%A%
Bainbridge Island) or to drive around Puget Sound using -0)%B4&"64%J4$$"+(%;$,<3)@%%=#$,'3%$#(0%0"#$%-0)$)%,(%
often a wait to catch a ferry, but the trip is more scenic.
I$,:4-)%1*4')(%64.%>.%,'-"_
I"$-%G'3)*)(%YH,**,46%L@%`4,$&0,*<%9'-*%A1"$-"514@&"6V
airport), or I"$-%B"+'()'<%Yg)55)$("'%?"#'-.%9'-*@%A%+++@1"$-"51-@
&"6V4,$1"$-O
39
DRIVING DIRECTIONS ­ FERRY (North on I­5 from airport)
%%%8%M)4<%'"$-0%"'%9A[%-"+4$<%R)4--*)
%%%8%`"**"+%-0)%(,3'(%-"%-0)%R)4--*)AF4,';$,<3)%5)$$.%Y)U,-%
164­A)
%%%8%B4/)%-0)%R)4--*)AF4,';$,<3)%5)$$.
GRAY WOLF RANCH
%%%8%`"**"+%(,3'(%-"%M""<%?4'4*%F$,<3)@%H0)'%."#%&$"((%
the bridge follow signs to Port Townsend.
40
%%%8%B#$'%$,30-%"'%RL%\N@
%%%8%B$4:)*%411$"U,64-)*.%\h%6,*)(@
%%%8%B#$'%*)5-%"'%g4&";%d,**)$%L"4<%YX4'<64$/_%')U-%-"%
A­1 Rentals). Travel approximately two miles.
%%%8%B4/)%*)5-%4-%()&"'<%(-"1%(,3'%YM4(-,'3(%G:)@%HO@%%
Travel approximately 1.7 miles.
%%%8%B4/)%4%$,30-%4-%Zabe%M4(-,'3(%G:)@%HC%+0,&0%,(%-0)%
2$(-%$,30-%45-)$%d&d,''%L"4<@
%%%8%B#$'%$,30-%4-%-0)%)'<%"5%-0)%<$,:)+4.@%%I4$/,'3%,(%;.%
the pond.
DRIVING DIRECTIONS ­ BRIDGE (South on I­5 from airport)
%%%8%M)4<%("#-0%"'%9A[%-"+4$<%B4&"64%4'<%-4/)%)U,-%\Z]%
to Highway 16 and the Narrows Bridge.
%%%8%`"**"+%M,30+4.%\h%-"%F$)6)$-"'%+0)$)%,-%6)$3)(%
with Highway 3.
%%%8%`"**"+%(,3'(%-"%M""<%?4'4*%F$,<3)@%H0)'%."#%&$"((%
the bridge follow signs to Port Townsend.
%%%8%B#$'%$,30-%"'%RL%\N@
%%%8%B$4:)*%411$"U,64-)*.%\h%6,*)(@
%%%8%B#$'%*)5-%"'%g4&";%d,**)$%L"4<%YX4'<64$/_%')U-%-"%
A­1 Rentals). Travel approximately two miles.
%%%8%B4/)%*)5-%4-%()&"'<%(-"1%(,3'%YM4(-,'3(%G:)@%HO@%%
Travel approximately 1.7 miles.
%%%8%B4/)%4%$,30-%4-%Zabe%M4(-,'3(%G:)@%HC%+0,&0%,(%-0)%
2$(-%$,30-%45-)$%d&d,''%L"4<@
%%%8%B#$'%$,30-%4-%-0)%)'<%"5%-0)%<$,:)+4.@%%I4$/,'3%,(%;.%
the pond.
41
Local Information and Accomodations
Our travel agent in Port Townsend is Jean’s House of Travel ­­ 800­895­2688. For comprehensive information about activities and accomodations in the Port Towsend area, you may visit our website at www.graywolfranch.com and follow the “Where To Stay” link, or go directly to:
GRAY WOLF RANCH
www.ptguide.com.
42
For current information and schedules for the Washington State Ferry System, go to:
+++@+(<"-@+4@3":V5)$$,)(
The Gray Wolf Ranch Cottage
We have created a cottage on the Gray Wolf campus as a convenient place for family members to stay. It is comfortable, beautifully decorated and shares the same natural beauty as the rest of our campus. It has two bedrooms: one with a queen size double bed and another with two single beds. There is a comfortable living room with high quality entertai­
ment equipment and a supply of movies. There is a kitchen stocked with essentials, a dining area and laundry facilities. Wireless Internet access is avail­
able.
?0)&/A,'%,(%4-%Z_bb%Id%4'<%&0)&/A"#-%,(%4-%\\%Gd@
Pets are welcome, but incur an additional $20 clean­
,'3%5))@%%B0)%?"--43)%,(%'"'A(6"/,'3@
B"%$)()$:)%B0)%?"--43)C%&4**%-0)%;#(,')((%"52&)%
at 800­571­5505.
!"#%64.%:,)+%B0)%?"--43)%"'*,')%4-_ +++@3$4.+"*5$4'&0@&"6V&"--43)V,'<)U@0-6
43
44
GRAY WOLF RANCH
Philosophy
Gray Wolf’s program is based on two central concepts:
UÊ>V…Ê«iÀܘ½ÃÊ«>̅Ü>ÞÊ̜ÊÀiVœÛiÀÞʈÃÊ`iÌiÀ“ˆ˜i`ÊLÞÊ
his individual needs.
UÊ7iʏˆÛiÊ>˜`ÊܜÀŽÊœ˜ÊÀiVœÛiÀÞÊ>ÃÊ>ÊVœ““Õ˜ˆÌÞ°
47
GRAY WOLF RANCH
48
Gray Wolf Ranch, Inc.
P.O. Box 102
Port Townsend, WA 98368
800-571-5505
360-385-5505
www.graywolfranch.com