How Men Fall In Love
And For How Long
This seminar will make the following assertions:
• men can only fall in love with a stranger
• men fall in love after 4 months of daily interaction
• men fall out of love 46 months after meeting a stranger
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
2
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
Men in love simultaneously feel three positive emotions
when they see or hear the woman they love.
positive emotion
trigger
purpose
monogynistic love
" The woman I love is happy."
encourage men to support women
visual/audible pleasure
the sight or sound of women
encourage men to seek women
affection
the sight or sound of familiar people
encourage everyone to interact with kin
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
3
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
Men fall in love 4 months after meeting a woman and
fall out of love 42 months later or 46 months after meeting her.
monogynistic love
very strong
strong
moderate
42 months
weak
0
4
8
12
16
20
24
28
32
36
40
44
46 48
52
56
60
months since first meeting a woman
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
4
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
After 46 months, men continue to feel
the weaker emotions of visual/audible pleasure and affection.
monogynistic love
very strong
visual/audible pleasure
strong
affection
moderate
weak
0
4
8
12
16
20
24
28
32
36
40
44
46 48
52
56
60
months since first meeting a woman
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
5
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
Men fall in love when one woman repeatedly triggers their
visual/audible pleasure and affection for 4 months.
monogynistic love
very strong
visual/audible pleasure
strong
affection
moderate
weak
0
4
8
12
16
20
24
28
32
36
40
44
46 48
52
56
60
months since first meeting a woman
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
6
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
Visual/audible pleasure ensures that men only fall in love with women that
are fertile and were not impregnated by another man before meeting.
fertile
visual/audible
pleasure
not impregnated by another man before meeting
new
affection
not impregnated by another man since meeting
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
7
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
Visual/audible pleasure is triggered
by the sight or sound of women.
positive emotion
trigger
purpose
monogynistic love
" The woman I love is happy."
encourage men to support women
visual/audible pleasure
the sight or sound of women
encourage men to seek women
affection
the sight or sound of familiar people
encourage everyone to interact with kin
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
8
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
Visual/audible pleasure is specifically triggered by features
that fertile, non-pregnant women have and other humans do not.
children
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
men
fertile
pregnant
women
postmenopausal
women
9
fertile
non-pregnant
women
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
The following are features that
fertile, non-pregnant women have and other humans do not.
hourglass figure
- combination of protruding breasts, wide hips, narrow waist
protruding breasts
plump lips
wide hips
- ideal hip-to-waist ratio is 0.7
slender appendages
- face, neck, arms, hands, fingers, legs, feet, toes
8% shorter height
- 8% is ideal (about 5½" shorter than a 5'10" man)
feminine voice
- pitch and resonance midway between men and children
beardless face
- beards evolved so men do not court men
pubic hair
non-grey hair
narrow waist
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
10
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
The more exclusive a feature is to fertile, non-pregnant women
the stronger the visual/audible pleasure it triggers in men.
strength
of effect
strong
moderate
weak
children
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
fertile
pregnant
women
fertile
non-pregnant
women
9
hourglass figure
protruding breasts
9
9
plump lips
9
9
wide hips
9
9
9
slender appendages
9
9
9
8% shorter height
9
9
9
feminine voice
9
9
9
9
9
9
9
9
9
9
9
beardless face
very weak
men
postmenopausal
women
9
9
pubic hair
non-grey hair
9
9
narrow waist
9
9
11
9
9
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
To fall in love, a man must feel
strong visual/audible pleasure for 4 months.
monogynistic love
very strong
visual/audible pleasure
strong
affection
moderate
weak
0
4
8
12
16
20
24
28
32
36
40
44
46 48
52
56
60
months since first meeting a woman
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
12
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
Strong visual/audible pleasure can only be triggered by an hourglass figure,
which confirms that a woman is fertile and non-pregnant.
strength
of effect
strong
moderate
weak
children
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
fertile
pregnant
women
fertile
non-pregnant
women
9
hourglass figure
protruding breasts
9
9
plump lips
9
9
wide hips
9
9
9
slender appendages
9
9
9
8% shorter height
9
9
9
feminine voice
9
9
9
9
9
9
9
9
9
9
9
beardless face
very weak
men
postmenopausal
women
9
9
pubic hair
non-grey hair
9
9
narrow waist
9
9
13
9
9
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
4 months of strong visual pleasure confirms that a woman
was not impregnated by another man just before meeting.
very strong
visual/audible pleasure triggered by non-pregnant woman
strong
visual/audible pleasure triggered by woman impregnated
just before meeting a man as she loses her hourglass figure
moderate
weak
0
4
8
12
16
20
24
28
32
36
40
44
46 48
52
56
60
months since first meeting a woman
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
14
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
this is a
tangent
The visual/audible pleasure that a woman triggers in a man declines over time
which encourages men to maximize the genetic diversity of their offspring.
very strong
visual/audible pleasure
strong
moderate
weak
0
4
8
12
16
20
24
28
32
36
40
44
46 48
52
56
60
months since first meeting a woman
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
15
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
this is a
tangent
Over 8 years, the visual audible pleasure that Elizabeth Hurley
triggered in Hugh Grant declined enough that . . .
very strong
strong
visual/audible pleasure
moderate
weak
1987
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
1988
1989
1990
1991
16
1992
1993
1994
1995
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
this is a
tangent
. . . that Divine Brown, a street prostitute,
became relatively more attractive to Hugh.
very strong
strong
visual/audible pleasure
moderate
weak
1987
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
1988
1989
1990
1991
17
1992
1993
1994
1995
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
this is a
tangent
Women frequently change their appearance
to try to slow the decline of visual/audible pleasure.
very strong
visual/audible pleasure
change appearance frequently
strong
moderate
change appearance rarely
weak
0
4
8
12
16
20
24
28
32
36
40
44
46 48
52
56
60
months since first meeting a woman
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
18
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
Affection ensures that men only fall in love with women that
are new and have not been impregnated by another man since meeting.
fertile
visual/audible
pleasure
not impregnated by another man before meeting
new
affection
not impregnated by another man since meeting
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
19
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
Affection is triggered by
the sight or sound of familiar people.
positive emotion
trigger
purpose
monogynistic love
" The woman I love is happy."
encourage men to support women
visual/audible pleasure
the sight or sound of women
encourage men to seek women
affection
the sight or sound of familiar people
encourage everyone to interact with kin
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
20
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
More specifically, affection is triggered by features
that modern humans have and other primates do not.
arboreal
primates
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
terrestrial
primates
small-brain
humans
21
modern
humans
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
The following are features that modern humans have,
but other primates do not.
singing, poetry, alliteration
- logically sequenced acoustics from human voice
talking
smiling
- corners of mouth turned up, not showing teeth
eyebrows, white eyes, nose, philtra, lips, chin
- everted lips
hands with long opposable thumbs
walking bipedally
- or dancing
feet without opposable toes
bums without tails
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
22
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
The more exclusive a feature is to modern humans
the stronger the affection it triggers.
strength
of effect
strong
moderate
weak
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
arboreal
primates
terrestrial
primates
small-brain
humans
modern
humans
9
singing, poetry, alliteration
talking
9
9
smiling
9
9
eyebrows, white eyes, nose, philtra, lips, chin
9
9
hands with long opposable thumbs
9
9
walking bipedally
9
9
feet without opposable toes
9
9
9
bums without tails
9
9
9
23
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
this is a
tangent
The affection a feature triggers is stronger
if there is proof of interaction.
• singing to music
• dancing to music
• making eye contact
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
24
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
this is a
tangent
While seeing white eyes
triggers moderate affection . . .
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
25
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
this is a
tangent
. . . making eye contact triggers stronger affection
because it confirms interaction.
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
26
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
The affection that someone triggers in you is weak when you meet them
and then grows stronger the more time you spend with that person.
very strong
strong
affection
(full-time interaction)
moderate
affection
(part-time interaction)
weak
0
4
8
12
16
20
24
28
32
36
40
44
48
52
56
60
months since first meeting someone
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
27
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
To make a man fall in love, a woman must trigger affection in the man
that grows from weak-to-moderate strength in 4 months.
monogynistic love
very strong
visual/audible pleasure
strong
affection
moderate
weak
0
4
8
12
16
20
24
28
32
36
40
44
46 48
52
56
60
months since first meeting a woman
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
28
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
Only strangers or new women
can start at weak affection.
very strong
affection
(old flames, family, friends)
strong
affection
(new women)
moderate
weak
0
4
8
12
16
20
24
28
32
36
40
44
48
52
56
60
months since first meeting a woman
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
29
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
Restricting men to only fall in love with new women
greatly increases the genetic diversity of their offspring.
men fall in love with one woman for life
woman A
child 1
child 2
child 3
child 4
child 5
child 6
men only fall in love with new women
woman A
woman B
woman C
child 1
child 2
child 3
woman D
child 4
child 5
woman E
woman F
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
child 6
30
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
New people can only trigger moderate affection by month 4
if they are interacting on a full-time basis.
very strong
strong
affection
(full-time interaction)
moderate
affection
(part-time interaction)
weak
0
4
8
12
16
20
24
28
32
36
40
44
48
52
56
60
months since first meeting someone
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
31
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
Restricting men to women who interact on full-time basis prevents men from
falling in love with women who could have been simultaneously courting another man.
very strong
strong
moderate
affection
(part-time with man 1)
affection
weak
(part-time with man 2)
0
4
8
12
16
20
24
28
32
36
40
44
48
52
56
60
months since first meeting someone
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
32
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
Men fall out of love after 42 months
or 46 months after meeting a woman.
monogynistic love
very strong
visual/audible pleasure
strong
affection
moderate
weak
0
4
8
12
16
20
24
28
32
36
40
44
46 48
52
56
60
months since first meeting a woman
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
33
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
Love encourages
men to support women.
positive emotion
trigger
purpose
monogynistic love
" The woman I love is happy."
encourage men to support women
visual/audible pleasure
the sight or sound of women
encourage men to seek women
affection
the sight or sound of familiar people
encourage everyone to interact with kin
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
34
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
By supporting women,
men are indirectly supporting their children.
women
monogynistic
love
men
maternal
love
children
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
35
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
Men maximize the number of two-parent children they have
by starting the next child when the current child no longer needs full-time care.
child no longer needs full-time care
woman A
woman B
woman C
child 1
child 2
child 3
woman D
child 4
woman E
child 5
woman F
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
child 6
36
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
Children no longer need full-time care when their
first set of teeth have fully erupted at 33 months.
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
•
before their first set of teeth fully erupt, children need assistance to eat
•
mothers must first breastfeed, then transfer of masticated food to their children
37
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
Adding 9 months of gestation to 33 months of post-natal care
equals a total support time of 42 months.
monogynistic love
very strong
strong
9 months
gestation
33 months
post-natal support
moderate
42 months
total support time
weak
0
4
8
12
16
20
24
28
32
36
40
44
46 48
52
56
60
months since first meeting a woman
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
38
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
There is ample evidence that men
do not love one woman forever.
• fireworks do not continue
• the 50% divorce rate
• affection keeps the other 50% together
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
39
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
Based on 2002 US Census Data,
the average length of first marriages is 44 months.
men
women
average age at first divorce
30.5
29.0
average age at first marriage
26.9
25.3
3.6
3.7
average length of marriage
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
average length of marriage
3.7 years
average length of marriage
44 months
40
copyright © Mark Devon 2009
Assuming 16 months of courtship and 44 months of marriage,
couples typically divorce 14 months after the man falls out of love.
monogynistic love
very strong
strong
16 months
of courtship
44 months
of marriage
14 months
to divorce
moderate
weak
0
4
8
12
16
20
24
28
32
36
40
44
46 48
52
56
60
months since first meeting a woman
Men In Love 2-Jan-10
41
copyright © Mark Devon 2009