Life Principles Notes Practical Lessons for Understanding the Word of God Victory Over Rejection KEY PASSAGE: Romans 8:31-39 | Supporting Scripture: John 1:11; 3:16 | Romans 5:8; 8:16 Philippians 4:13 unworthy or that we don’t fit in. SUMMARY: n It is a form of control. Those who refuse to accept us can influence both what we do and how we think. n It leads to self-rejection. We become critical of ourselves and lose our self-respect. n It can become a syndrome. If we never deal with our bondage, we can act in ways that cause others to reject us. People can live in bondage and not even know it. Some prisons don’t require physical bars or chains; they are made by the emotional burden of rejection that affects every area of our lives. It causes us to believe lies about ourselves and undermines our relationships with the Lord. Even though God says He is for us and nothing can separate us from Him (Rom. 8:31-39), past experiences we’ve suffered can oftentimes make us feel differently. If you’ve experienced rejection, you’re not alone. It’s almost impossible to go through life without feeling its sting. Often, the hurt lies dormant until a word, situation, or memory brings it back up, and then the pain resurfaces. Rejection penetrates beneath the surface and shapes what we think and feel about ourselves. The only way to rid ourselves of its effects is to acknowledge its presence, discover its source, and ask the Lord to help us deal with it. What are the characteristics of a person suffering from rejection? People who are consciously or unconsciously enslaved by rejection will: n Have a critical spirit toward themselves and others. People who don’t feel good about themselves might try to bring others down. n Experience difficulty in loving others. If people cannot love themselves, they’re not equipped to love another person. n Have feelings of inferiority. Rejection makes people feel as though they’ll never measure up. n Be preoccupied with their appearance. Sometimes, those suffering because of rejection try to dress in ways they think will help them feel accepted. n Be prone to perfectionism. To avoid failure, people won’t attempt any task they can’t do perfectly. This also leads to procrastination. n Live in a state of floating anger. An attitude of bitterness permeates their lives and leads them to find fault with others. n Display an attitude of superiority. An arrogant demeanor is usually a cover-up for feelings of inferiority. Scriptural Principles: The Nature of Rejection Many people in the Bible—Joseph, Moses, David, Paul, and even Jesus—experienced rejection. It is a painful emotion created when someone refuses us. It’s something we’ve all had to go through in our lives, and it has several negative outcomes. For example: n It creates a feeling of being excluded or unwanted. We believe we are somehow LIFE PRINCIPLES NOTES | LP120205 n Be overly sensitive. Those who struggle with feelings of rejection are easily hurt and are prone to misinterpreting innocent comments as being unkind. n Resist being loved. People who don’t feel worthy have difficulty accepting affection. n Be suspicious. When people doubt their value, they become suspicious of anyone who tries to befriend them because they think there must be a hidden motive. n Become aloof. To avoid rejection, some people choose to be alone. his view of himself. He will spend a lifetime trying to validate his worth. How can we overcome rejection? This negative feeling must be dealt with if we want to be whole, and there are three essential truths we need to understand in order to have the right attitude about ourselves. Thankfully, the Lord has provided them all, so we can be complete and escape the bondage of rejection. Through Him, we gain: n A sense of belonging. Those in the body of Christ are part of God’s family (Rom. 8:16). Once we fix this truth in our hearts, we’ll feel secure—no matter what. n Fall into depression. When people feel unworthy, they become sad and discouraged. n Be cheated out of life. People who can’t overcome the emotional effects of rejection miss God’s best blessings. n Have a materialistic focus. To feel valuable, some people gather possessions only to find they never satisfy. A feeling of worthiness. Jesus considered us so valuable that He was willing to die in our place (John 3:16). n A sense of competence. When we accepted Christ as our Savior, the Holy Spirit came to live inside us. One of His tasks is enabling us to accomplish whatever tasks God calls us to do (Phil. 4:13). n n Miss God’s plan for their lives. Feelings of rejection cheat people out of what the Lord wants to do in and through them. n Adopt sinful practices. When people can’t accept themselves, they sometimes turn to drugs, drinking, or sex in search of relief. ConclusioN: Reasons for Feeling Rejected The underlying cause of this painful emotion is a person’s negative opinion of himself, which is brought about by hurtful experiences such as: n Physical “flaws.” A person who isn’t happy with his looks can feel undesirable or unlovable. n Past emotional hurts. When a person is hurt, the damaging effects always linger. n The death of a loved one. Some people see loss as rejection because they feel alone. In their eyes, God has turned His back on them. n Divorce. This is a very painful experience because both spouses and children are left feeling discarded. n Childhood experiences. Criticism and rejection stick in a child’s memory and shape There is no need to go through life handicapped by past experiences. The first step to victory over a debilitating sense of rejection comes when you choose to believe the Lord and find your acceptance in Him. He says you belong to Him and are worthy in His eyes. Second, ask the Lord’s forgiveness for allowing hurtful emotions to hinder your walk with Him and to help you sift them out of your life. The third thing you need to do is reach out to those you have harmed and seek their forgiveness because true healing requires us to address both sides of rejection. In the end, it boils down to a simple choice—are you going to believe what God says or what others say about you? To purchase this message on CD or DVD, please visit store.intouch.org or call 800-789-1473. intouch.org Copyright © 2013 by In Touch Ministries, Inc. All rights reserved. In Touch grants permission to print for personal use only. LIFE PRINCIPLES NOTES | LP120205