Ghetto Trajectories: Writing about Personal Experiences in the

Teksty Drugie 2013, 2, s. 113-131
Special Issue – English Edition
Ghetto Trajectories: Writing
about Personal Experiences in
the Warsaw Ghetto Journals
(Abraham Lewin, Rachela
Auerbach, Janusz Korczak).
Marta (Młodkowska) Janczewska
Przeł. Marta Skotnicka
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Marta (MŁODKOWSKA) JANCZEWSKA
Ghetto Trajectories: Writing about Personal
Experiences in the Warsaw Ghetto Journals
(Abraham Lewin, Rachela Auerbach, Janusz Korczak)
http://rcin.org.pl
G. Riem ann, F. Shutze, Trajectory as a Basic Theoretical C oncept for Analysing
Suffering and D isorderly Social Processes.
113
C ap tu rin g experiences recorded in jo u rn als w ritten in th e W arsaw ghetto presents
m any difficulties. Sudden incom prehensible extirpation, to tal unpred ictab ility o f the
future, con stan t th reat of death, co nsequently th e loss of con tro l over one’s life situation,
an d th e collapse o f th e bio graphic schem e o f actions b ecom e p a rt o f th e experience of
all in habitants o f the closed district. They all share w ith each o th er this com m on experi­
ence b u t at the sam e tim e each of th em goes on w ith his or h e r ow n u n iq u e life story.
B oth specificity o f an indiv id u al fate an d regularities o f th e ghetto experience could be
interp reted by the n o tio n of “trajectory.” The concept o f th e “dying trajecto ry ” elaborated
by A. L. Strauss served to describe m edical w ork, its organization an d its influence on
dying people an d th eir fam ilies (Tim e fo r Dying, 1968). The study o f patien ts’ suffering
and chaos em erging in th e course o f p erfo rm in g m edical w o rk m ade it possible to cap­
tu re the p h en o m en o n o f trajecto ry as, in general term s, established by G. R iem ann and
F. Schutze. The general concept o f trajecto ry is a to o l o f reco n stru ctin g and u n d e rsta n d ­
ing p h en o m en a w hich “are stru ctu red b y th e chain o f in terco n n ected events w h ich are
unavoidable w ith o u t b earin g h ig h costs, repetitive breakdow ns, expectations an d the
increasing feeling o f control loss over one’s life situation. It feels as if b ein g ‘p u sh ed ’ and
only able to react to ‘external forces’ w h ich are h a rd to u nderstand.”1
The trajecto ry u n d ersto o d this w ay is an in stru m e n t used to analyze suffering and
disorderly social processes. For obvious reasons, th e experience o f b ein g th ro w n into
the ghetto reality gains the trajecto ry potential. This “collective trajecto ry ” consists of
H o loca u st in Literary and C u ltura l Studies
in div idual “biographic trajectories.” Suffering always takes place w ith in an in d ividual
b iography - this is w hy th e latter can b e th e only m easure o f th e trajectory. G. R iem ann
an d F. Schutze p o in t to th e b io graphic influence o f th e trajecto ry o f suffering w hich lies
in transform ations o f th e in d iv id u al’s identity. All o f th e changes w ith in th e individual
“I” are “in tern al events” (as th e authors call th em ), w h ich are n o t a subject of external
observation. This is w hy th e only, although indirect, possibility to look into those changes
is reading autobiographic form s - in this p articu lar case, jo u rn als an d diaries w ritten in
th e W arsaw ghetto. These literary form s as space for direct m anifestation of subjectivity
b ecom e a place w here th e trajectories’ dynam ics can b e captured.
Three exam ples o f jo u rn als con d u cted in th e W arsaw ghetto illustrate th e trajectory
experience, show th e co n stru ctio n o f a n ew definition o f a life situation an d th e attem pt
to gain control over th e trajectories’ dynam ics.
Accelerating Trajectory: Abraham Lewin
A braham Lewin, a w ell-know n pedagogue and histo rian , au th o r o f th e b o o k The
Cantonists, cooperated w ith th e ghetto u n d erg ro u n d R ingelblum A rchive. Lewin is an
au th o r o f a jo u rn a l fo u n d - sim ilarly to R achela A uerbach’s notes - am ong th e m a te ri­
als h id d en in the archive.2 The discovered p a rt spans a p erio d betw een June 1942 and
January 1943. The last n o te was m ad e on 16 January 1943, m o st probably a few days
before th e au th o r’s d eath d u rin g th e January d e p o rtatio n (betw een 18 and 20 January
1943). A lthough the p erio d covered b y th e jo u rn a l is relatively short, th e notes overlap
w ith a few m ain stages of th e gene life: “n o rm ality ” before July 1942, th e July action,
life in factories, th e January action. The au th o r notes his observations dow n w ith great
frequency, b u t n o t every day.
The m o st characteristic feature o f Lewin’s jo u rn a l is its u n u su al factographic ab u n ­
dance. The au th o r fills every n o te (all o f th e m an n o tated w ith dates) w ith a lo t o f in fo r­
m atio n related w ith events h ap p en in g in th e ghetto and outside of it. Som e o f th e m are
eye-w itnessed by th e au th o r him self, b u t th e m ajo rity o f th e m are ru m o u rs and gossips
h eard and n o ted dow n by Lewin. E ach event is located in space an d tim e w ith scrutiny.
The au th o r particularly em phasizes facts seen o r h eard “fro m th e reliable source”:
Last Wednesday, i.e. on May 6, alm ost all Jews from Dęblin and Ryki were taken away. Only
around 50 strong, healthy and robust Jews (together w ith their families) - as I was inform ed
- were left in Dęblin because they were suitable for hard labour. The rest were taken away in
an unknow n direction. (1956 no 19-20, 174)
114
Engineer Sz., a serious m an, told m e about the last week m urder G erm ans com m itted on
a young girl in the house in Pawia Ila Street. (1956 no 19-20, 188)
The entire ghetto journal o f A braham Lew in (written in Jewish and Hebrew ) was
published in English: A. Lew in, A Cup o f Tears. A Diary o f the Warsaw Ghetto,
ed. A. Polonsky, transl. C. H utton, Fontana/C ollins 1990. The Polish version (with some
omissions) was published in “Biuletyn Żydowskiego Instytutu Historycznego”
(transl. A. Rutkowski), no 19-20/1956, no 21-24/1957, no 25/1958.
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Ghetto Trajectories
Last week, I was told that Jews are being evicted from Cracow. I did not believe the sad
news and I did not note it down. (1956 no 19-20, 188)
The facts w ritten dow n by Lewin are very hom ogeneous. It is a litany of acts of violence
and outrage, massacres, and m urders done to Jewish com m unities everyw here in Poland
and in the W arsaw Ghetto. W ith this regard, A braham Lewin’s jo u rn al becom es a chronicle
of the Holocaust. The great m ajority o f his observations from before the exterm ination
action resem ble a catalogue o f m urders and assaults. If we w anted to create an index o f all
places m entioned by the author, it w ould include dozens o f Polish tow ns of different sizes:
1. In Z duńska Wola, during last Purym , ten Jews were caught...
2. The same happened in Łęczyca...(Supposedly, the same thing h ad place in Bieżuń).
3. In Izbica (Lubelskie region) all local Jews (around 500) were sent away.
(1956 no 19-20, 170)
The flow o f new s from P oland is often in te rru p ted b y a m u rd e r co m m itted rig h t aro u n d
th e corner, in the n eighbou rh o o d : on D zielna, W ięzienna, O rla, K rochm alna, Waliców,
C hłodna. M urders help the au th o r m easure tim e b u t danger slowly approaches n o t only
in tim e (repeated phrases: lately, in those days, currently, tonight, today) b u t also in space.
If A braham Lewin’s jo u rn a l only consisted o f notes w h ich w ould panoram ically
p icture the H olocaust, it could b e perceived as a jo u rn al-ch ro n icle. A t th e sam e tim e,
w e feel th a t the id en tity o f th e au th o r unceasingly p erm eates even th ro u g h th e m ost
objectivized note. H ere is a chronicler w ho faithfully and precisely describes events and
realities sim ultaneously exposing his own anxiety. It is fear th a t becom es th e basic co m ­
p o n e n t build in g up th e diarist’s identity, tran sfo rm in g th e chronicle into th e dram atic
p ersonal jo u rn al.3 Fear taints every page of th e text - at tim es th e a u th o r straightfor­
w ardly adm its it, other tim es th e re ad er is u n d e r th e im pression th a t th e w hole Lewin’s
account is lined w ith fear:
The abyss is getting closer to each o f us, the muzzle of the apocalyptic beast whose forehead is
m arked with the words: death, destruction, exterm ination, painful agony and eternal uncer­
tainty; endless fear is the m ost terrible feeling am ong all our experiences and suffering - so
rough and tragic. If we survive till the end of this dreadful war, w hen - as free people and
citizens - we will retrospectively ponder upon the past war years, we will ascertain with no
doubt that w hat was m ost terrible, saddest and m ost destructive to our nervous system and
health was to constantly live in the atm osphere of anxiety and fear of the naked life, incessant
shifting between life and death, the state in which any second our heart was threatened to break
out of anxiety and fear. (1956 no 19-20, 176)
3
The unusual character o f Lew in’personal testim ony in w hich the narrative is filled “from
the inside” w ith “fear and trem bling” was indicated by Jacek Leociak, c f id., Text vs
Holocaust (on accountsfro m the Warsaw Ghetto), W rocław 1997, 141-143.
4
A. Kępiński, Fear, Cracow 1995, 120.
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115
In his analysis of fear, A ntoni Kępiński dem onstrates the unconditional relation betw een the
feeling of fear and the future.4 We are always afraid o f w hat will happen, w hat waits for us
H o loca u st in Literary and C u ltura l Studies
in the future. Fear rem ains a signal we are unable to verify, and it is only based on a certain
sense of probability. The feeling of o u r life b eing th reatened is a signal of death lurking
in a tem poral and spatial distance. The feeling of being th reatened perm eates through
th e entire Lewin’s journal. The m ore inform ation the auth o r gathers, and th e denser the
register o f G erm an crimes, precisely located in tim e and space, th e m ore penetratin g sense
o f the proxim ity an individual death. The au th o r’s feeling o f constant danger determ ines
a specific type of narrative, it affects the storytelling. E num erating nam es of towns or streets
in Warsaw, underlining th e up-to-date nature o f events (typical of this literary genre) and
repetitive “I’m afraid” m akes th e story dynam ic. This leaning tow ards the future and the
trepidly intense expectation o f w hat m u st com e m akes us see the structure o f A braham
Lewin’s text as a m etap h o r of a noose tightening around one’s neck. Indeed, th e au th o r’s
sense of being im prisoned in space and tim e results in m any stifling m etaphors:
W hen I hear this kind of news, I choke and I feel a terrible burden pressuring m y heart. Black
fear strangles and crushes me...The pressure on our soul and m in d became so strong and
overwhelm ing that it’s impossible to stand it. (1956 no 19-20, 176)
The noose around W arsaw increasingly tightens. (1956 no 19-20, 202)
N othing new has hap p en ed b u t there is som ething e x tra o rd in a ry in this tranquillity,
som ething suffocating. We fear our fate that the nearest future, i.e. after O ctober 20 will
bring us. (1957 no 23, 71)
W hen I listen to stories from Treblinka, som ething starts to choke and stifle m y heart. Fear
of “what” will happen is perhaps stronger than one’s suffering in the m om ent of their death.
(1958 no 25, 127)
Incessant feeling o f suffocation, tig h ten in g of th e noose, is stren g th en e d by th e sense of
m ore and m ore claustrophobic space:
Increasingly tight. Terribly, dreadfully. (1957 no 21, 136)
Well known streets - Nowolipie (from both sides of Karmelicka), Mylna and others - are
completely enclosed by fences and walls, it’s impossible to get in there. It feels as if these
were cages. (1957 no 22, 85)
[Streets] have been enclosed by fences...Insatiable enemies’ clutches are reaching for us again.
(1957 no 22, 88)
But for us, in our tight and dark little world, days are black, sad and seem very long.
(1957 no 23, 74)
People locked in prison, like anim als in a cage, cannot defend them selves. A sense o f being
restrain ed is am plified by fear w hich results fro m th e increased feeling o f helplessness.5
W hen th e noose tightens aro u n d one’s neck, w hen crim es take place in close proxim ity,
space shrinks and tim e thickens, th e ontological anxiety is g etting greater an d m ore
intense.6 The contin u o u s th re a t is h ard to handle, if one is n o t able to take a deep breath
Ibid., 63.
911
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Cf. B. Engelking, Czas przestał dla mnie istnieć...”A naliza doświadczenia czasu w sytuacji
ostatecznej, W arsaw 1996, 118.
(Młodkowska) Janczewska
Ghetto Trajectories
(follow ing the noo se m etap h o r). Every tim e th e au th o r finds an asylum , it is fragile and
m om entary. S hort-tim e haven can be fo u n d in tim e, a sh o rt m o m e n t o f “n o w ”:
It’s quiet at the m om ent (emphasis m ine), they don’t m urder and send to death in Treblinka.
(1957 no 23, 75)
O ne could lo o k for shelter in th e th o u g h t o f revenge to be p erfo rm ed by n ex t gen era­
tions, so in the undefined future:
Let this blood scream and dem and revenge for the crim es w hich have never taken place
before in our history and in the history of m ankind. (1957 no 24, 45)
But death, although distant in tim e, becom es m o re an d m o re certain. Searching for hope
resem bles leaning on quicksand:
There are m om ents w hen I am slightly m ore confident of m y fate, I som etim es becom e
indifferent, but suddenly I’m overw helm ed by such fear of death that I’m close to going
insane. It all depends on the news from the streets. (1957 no 21, 130)
If tim e before th e July action is a p rem o n itio n o f d anger an d th e tim e after th e action is
anticipation o f death, th e ex term in atio n action becom es th e tu rn in g point. It constitutes
a break th ro u g h n o t only in th e au th o r’s biography b u t also in th e n arrative o f th e j ournal.
D etailed an d precise descriptions are replaced w ith a fragm ented and in te rru p te d text
w hich seem s to im itate the chaos o f events:
Misfortune: Gucia was evicted from her flat. Five people were killed at night on Dzielna. Ter­
rifying scenes take place in the streets. Policemen take away nicer furniture from flats people
had been expelled from. Umschlagplatz: a Jew is crying. They are beating him. W hy are you
crying? My m other, m y wife! Wife - yes, m other - no. A smuggler w ho jum ped out of the
window on the fourth floor. I saw him, he was seriously injured. Ten thousand! The Wajcblum
family. Property plunder. (1957 no 21, 127)
A gainst th e chaos o f events em erges th e biggest tragedy in Lewin’s life - on 12 A ugust,
d u rin g the blockage o f th e facto ry on G ęsia 30, his wife L uba is taken away. N ext pages
o f the jo u rn a l are stigm atized w ith his p erso n al tragedy:
The lim it o f th e expressible re ach ed b y th e a u th o r is im possible to b e crossed, th e re is
no m o re to say. W h a t is m o re im p o rta n t, n o t only d esp air c a n n o t b e spoken a b o u t b u t
it is also th e reason w hy one c a n n o t sp eak ab o u t oneself. The sense o f o u r ow n “I” is
lo st - it b ecom es an u n k n o w n territo ry . “T here are n o w ords to express m y tra g ed y ”
m eans so m u ch as “th ere are n o w ords to express myself.” The a u th o r’s actio n s lose
th e ir in tentionality, he can’t do w h a t he w ants: he’s n o t stro n g en o u g h to go w ith his
wife to death.
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117
There are no words to express m y tragedy. I should have gone after her - to die. But I’m not
strong enough to do it...I will never find consolation, as long as I live. If she had died naturally,
I w ould have not been so unhappy and crushed. But to fall into clutches of those barbarians?!
Have they m urdered her already? (1957 no 21, 137)
H o loca u st in Literary and C u ltura l Studies
“W ill there be n ew B ialik w ho w ill create a new th ren o d y and w ill w rite a n ew w o rk
In the City o f Slaughter? (no 25/1958, 127), asks Lewin b u t he does n o t really w ait for
“the new Bialik” b u t attem pts to testify w ith his ow n life. The chronicler o f th e H olocaust
places his own fear, despair and his m o st dram atic experiences in th e centre o f th e text.7
The au th o r him self, experiencing fear and despair, becom es a pecu liar exem plum , an
illustration o f the h isto ry o f his n ation. Lewin often w rites ab ou t fear in th e first person
p lu ral because the b o rd e r betw een th e collective fate and th e story o f an in d iv id u al is
very liquid in his journal.
A lawyer from Lviv in two hours told us today...about the gehenna in Lviv and the entire Eastern
Galicia... These two hours were one of the m ost tragic hours of m y life.
(1956 no 19-20, 197)
- says Lewin, linkin g his ow n fate w ith th e fate o f th e com m unity.
The account on th e external w orld is particu larly developed in Lewin’s jo u rn al, while
th e collective trajecto ry an d th e in d iv id u al fate o f th e au th o r in terlo ck in to an in ex trica­
ble knot. C haos and helplessness o f th e co m m u n ity give rise to th e in d iv id u al identity
co n stru cted out o f th e rem ains o f th e collective fate. Lewin’s case, w hich illustrates in
a special m a n n e r th e social process o f b u ild in g th e trajectory, also shows th e individual
biography shaped b y th e p erso n al tragedy. The tragedy, i.e. th e loss o f his wife durin g
th e July action, becom es th e tu rn in g p o in t o f th e story. A t th e sam e tim e, due to the
coherence betw een th e collective trajecto ry and th e in d iv id u al b iography - so strongly
felt by Lewin - in co n sen t w ith h istorical events subsequence, th e a u th o r’s trajecto ry
undergoes “acceleration.”
The tension betw een th e story of the n ation and one’s own fear and despair, completely
in dividual and unable to com m unicate, perm eates th ro u g h A braham Lewin’s jou rn al,
b u ild in g its u n iq u e stru ctu re an d giving testim o n y to th e in dividual trajecto ry process.
Domesticated Trajectory: Rachela Auerbach
A m ong nu m ero u s p erso n al accounts w ritten in th e W arsaw G hetto, R achela A u­
erbach’s jo u rn a l stands ou t as th e one to be p articu larly h o m ogeneous in term s o f its
subjects.8 D eath appears to b e th e m o st d o m in a n t them e: death of close people w ho
pass away in front of th e au th o r’s eyes, an d d eath o f strangers - nam eless corpses lying
in the streets of the G hetto. For ten m o n th s (betw een A ugust 1941 an d June 1942) she
w atches and keeps acco u n t o f th e city’s slow death. A uerbach surveys th e ghetto from
a peculiar point: a kitchen for w riters on Leszno Street w here th e a u th o r was a manager.
811
7
The tension between a desire for the new language and attem pts to rise to one’s own
experience in Lew in’s journal was pointed out by L. L anger in his article Social Suffering
and Holocaust Atrocity, (in:) Social Suffering, cont. A. Kleinman, V. Das, M . Lock,
Berkeley 1997, 50-52.
8
The journal (not published yet) is kept in the archive o f the Jewish H istory Institute in
Warsaw, sign. Ring 1,641 and 654.
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(Młodkowska) Janczewska
Ghetto Trajectories
D ishes served in this kitchen (sim ilarly to dozens o f o th er places of this kin d ) w ere m ost
often th e only source o f food for its clients. Beside th e ones w ho w ere entitled to d in n er
coupons and w ho could pay for m eals regularly, the kitchen attracted large groups of
beggars co u n tin g on a spoo n fu l o f soul p o rtraits o f those “d om estic” clients, as Rachela
A uerback calls th e unw anted consum ers, are a significant p a rt o f th e journal.
R achela A uerback, b o rn aro u n d 1903, was a w riter before th e war. H er origins were
in Lviv and she had connections w ith the Polish-J ew ish literary circles (p ro m o tin g Jewish
art and culture in Polish). She divided h er tim e betw een th e local kitchen and conspiracy
practices in th e W arsaw G hetto A rchive fo u n d ed b y a histo rian E m anuel Ringelblum .
She rem ain ed in th e G hetto for alm ost th e w hole p erio d of th e existence o f th e closed
district. M ost probably, she w ent o u t to th e A ryan side rig h t after th e January action in
o rd er to continue h er conspiracy activities outside o f th e G hetto (in th e “h ead q u arters”
o f the help centre for Jews h id in g in M iodow a Street). She lived th ro u g h th e w ar and
em igrated to Israel in 1950 w here she died in 1976.9
^ e jo u rn a l w ritten by R achela A uerbach is an exceptional d o cu m e n t in term s o f its
literary qualities (as it was carried on b y a w riter). B ut n o t only. It is also a crucial study
o f the intensity o f death experienced in th e closed d istrict - a d o cu m e n t o f im m ersion
in th e process o f dying.
^ e a u th o r o f th e jo u rn a l w as alone in th e G h etto - h e r closest fam ily (b ro th e r
and his child ren) lived o u tsid e o f W arsaw. As m o re ru m o rs o f m ass d ep o rta tio n s of
Jew ish co m m u n ities reach ed th e capital, she felt in creasin g ly co n ce rn e d a b o u t h e r
kin. L oneliness an d fear are v e ry d istin c t in h e r acco u n t. E x p erien cin g d e a th alone
also becom es a co n d itio n o f ex p erien cin g h e r ow n “I” in a situ atio n o f danger. B ut due
to th a t loneliness it is possible to observe th e G h etto w ith scrutiny. W h a t characterizes
A uerbach’s style o f w ritin g is th e co n cen tratio n on every detail o f th e G hetto w o rld and
th e ability to see and ex tract “m e ta p h o ric a l précis” o u t o f th is reality. L oo k in g at th e
ghetto becom es a sta rtin g p o in t to ex p erien cin g oneself. “^ e w o rld o f w ritin g ab o u t
oneself o penly” an d “th e w o rld o f eye-w itnessing” are visibly p re se n t in th e jo u rn a l
and d e term in e each other.
^ e fu n ctio n o f the kitchen’s m an ag er w as to feed people. Triviality o f such a state­
m e n t conceals the d ram a b e h in d th e seem ingly o rd in a ry activity o f sharing food. D is­
trib u tio n of food in th e W arsaw G hetto was n eith er b an a l n o r in n o cen t. D irect access
to food articles - a privilege o f v ery few - b ecam e th e source o f m o ral dilem m as. O ne
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611
Basic inform ation about biograhy o f R. A uerbach was taken from the following
publications: E. Prokop-Janiec, M iędzywojenna literatura polsko-żydowska jako zjawisko
kulturowe i artystyczne, Cracow, 1992; E. Ringelblum Kronika getta warszawskiego, transl.
A. Rutkowski, Warsaw, 1983; Archiwum Ringelbluma. Getto warszawskie lipiec 1942 styczeń 1943, elaborated by R. Sakowska, Warsaw, 1980; R. Sakowska, Ludzie z dzielnicy
zamkniętej. Z dziejów Żydów w Warszawie w latach okupacji hitlerowskiej październik
1939 - marzec 1943, Warsaw, 1993; Ten jest z ojczyzny mojej. Polacy z pomocą Żydom
1939-1945, elaborated by W. Bartoszewski i Z. Lewinówna, Warsaw, 1966; R. Low,
Ostatki polskie. Rzecz o izraelskiej prasie w języku polskim, „Zeszyty Literackie” 1994 nr 4
(part II: 1995 no 1); letter by M r N atan Gross (in m y possession).
H o loca u st in Literary and C u ltura l Studies
o f th e usual practices was to give leftovers to beggars w ho “hanged a b o u t like h u n g ry
dogs aro u n d the ca rn ag e...as if b ein g close to th e ‘satiety’ area already b ro u g h t th em
relief” (P 44). R achela A uerbach su p p o rted chosen beggars m o re th a n others. M aking
“a choice,” a certain “selection” was follow ed by o th er dilem m as:
In order to do som ething for people in these circumstances, it was necessary to be occupied
w ith this activity exclusively, and I often got offended w hen som ebody judged m e for having
singled out this or that person and took care of them m ore than others. I justified it saying
that fair distribution of insufficient benefits and incomplete help does not have any effect and
is a waste - even though this is how I understood these things, obviously I was able to provide
productive assistance to one person, neglecting m y general duties, futile b ut unavoidable.
(P 53-54)
A t th e b e g in n in g , th e re is an illu sio n th a t w e have a w eap o n to fig h t ag a in st eve­
ry d a y d eath . W hy, d e a th can b e th e re s u lt o f c e rta in d eficien cies th a t co u ld have
b e e n avoided:
The inform ation (death of a friend) was like a heavy blow. For the first tim e since the bom bing
I cried so m uch. Sorrow of losing a person and m y personal depression caused by ill-done
work. I should probably have gone with him to Tozu and m ade sure he w ould get the injec­
tions, etc. (P 24)
M onth after m o n th , day b y day, it tu rn s o u t th a t selection o f th o se w ho can receive soup
is a superficial, sym bolic choice, only con firm in g one’s own helplessness. A queue to get
a plate o f soup becom es a queue to a m ass grave, a d eath queue. A plate o f soup can n o t
defend us fro m th e inescapable end:
W hat else could I do but give him souI gave him through S. 50 zlotys w hich had not been
used for Braxmeier’s funeral b ut to rescue som ebody w ho is already swollen from death, you
need thousands. (P 40-41)
I was slowly growing a conviction that all the activities perform ed by our charity institutions
should be called death in instalm ents. We should finally realize that we cannot rescue anyone
from death, we don’t have such means. We can only postpone death, prolong it but not prevent
it. In m y practice, I did not succeed with anyone, not one person! (P 50)
The lack o f m eans is jux tap o sed to th e exten d in g procession o f beggars. The queue of
people in need never ends - a p erso n w ho dies is im m ediately replaced b y a few starv ­
in g people:
120
[W ]hen H. died the next day after a dem onstration which he, as a m em ber of the union, had
organized him self by lying on the pavem ent in front of the gates, his daughter came to us with
his dying wish to give her “his” portions of soup now. Then the Geboren family after the father’s
death, habicki’s wife, etc. A plate of soup to wipe tears. (P 47)
The folk kitchen, so also R achela A uerbach’s activities n o t only do n o t help b u t - accord­
in g to th e au th o r - inscribe into a certain logic o f events in th e G hetto an d is only one of
th e elem ents leading to th e expected d eath o f all in h ab itan ts o f th e Ghetto:
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We are powerless, we w ork in the vacuum. ^ e only effect of our w ork is that the whole ghetto
will not be annihilated right away, that death is regulated and that we will gain just enough
tim e to b ury all the dead. It is impossible to change anyone’s destiny. (P 51-52)
^ e first person plural consequently used b y th e au th o r in h e r narrativ e seem s to b e n o t
only a conventional form and a m e th o d to m ain tain th e distance tow ards th e feeling of
co-responsibility. O n th e contrary, “we” b ecom e here a m ask for th e “I” w h ich is clearly
revealed in th e n ext confession:
Terribly m alicious and tactless, highly indiscreet was one acquaintance’s gruesom e joke that
there is certain fatality in m y care and all people I give special attention to have to die... I was
really, really hurt. (P 50-51)
N um erou s initiatives taken up b y Rachela A uerbach paradoxically b ecom e th e source of
intensifying th e chaos. The trajecto ry rises fro m in ten tio n al actions, w hile th e iro n y of
th e situation is th a t each activity aim ing at co ntrolling th e trajectory, i.e. tak in g in itia ­
tive ends w ith a failure w hich m agnifies th e fru stratio n . S ubsequent failures, gradually
destroying the feeling of having th e reality u n d e r control, b ecom e a reason w hy the
trajectory p o ten tial is piled up an d m ultiplied. In stitu tio n al expectation p attern s w hich
p u t life in o rd er and the bio graphic action schem e w hich contains, on th e one h an d , an
elem ent o f intentionality, on th e o th er h an d , real possibilities to act, openly contrad ict
w ith each other, adding to th e im pression o f to tal disorientation.
D eath of a close friend, B raxm eier,10becom es a b reak th ro u g h , tangible “crossing the
b o rd e r” and entering the phase of passive reactions. It com pletely destroys orien tatio n
in the w orld because it is totally - even co n sid erin g th e conditions in th e G hetto - irra ­
tional. ^ e m an w ho dies was exceptionally “destined to live” (w ith regards to his physical
features and special care offered by R achela A uerbach). W h at is m ore, th e p erso n w ho
dies was n o t only her friend , b u t a sym bol o f “b ein g able to survive”:
I obtained m oney and packages trying to give Braxmeier belated, as it turned out, he said that
it w ould be a real shame and failure to our kitchen, to all our social help work; I said that it
w ould be m y personal shame and failure if we didn’t rescue from starvation the only m an we
cared about. ^ e m an who was a true evidence, the m an who survived “that” and another “that”
as one of a dozen out of one hundred w ent through it alive an d survived som ething all the
rest died from - this particular m an could not bear our social help system...I said it at a wrong
tim e that the old M rs Feld w ould outlive him. About 25 years younger than her, athletic, iron
m an, once a sports cham pion. (P 16)
^ e increasing feeling o f helplessness tow ards th e overw helm ing death, te rro r and sor­
row perm eates th ro u g h th e entire tex t o f th e jo u rn al. “A n d w ho else, w ho else (died)?”
becom es a narrative lin k illustrating th e process o f abso rp tio n and th e inability to handle
the excess o f death. In the case o f each o f th e kitchen clients th ere is n o accidental death,
on th e contrary, there are n o possibilities to play th e gam e o f life and avoid death. Eve­
10
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Ill
In this case, the “passive reaction phase” is not literal resignation from acting. Rachela
Auerbach still fulfils her duties as a kitchen’s manager. It is rather about autom ated
reactions deprived o f hope for actions to actually be effective.
H o loca u st in Literary and C u ltura l Studies
ryone is d o o m ed to th e co m m o n grave, w hile treacherous tim e brings us closer to th at
m o m en t, w hich is expressed by th e m e tap h o r o f flowing:
Down all roads and paths leading to Gęsia (where the cem etery was - M.M.) briskly swim
black carts and prams. O ne by one. As if streams, tributaries of a great river which absorbs
everything. (P 39)
Living in th e w aitin g -ro o m to d eath sharpens th e senses. T im e o f th e jo u rn a l is the
condensed present, intensified “now.” R achela A uerbach’s diary focuses on th e everyday
life, th e everyday reality o f th e G hetto. The category of everyday plays a special role. But
everyday life in the G h etto does n o t b lo t o u t existential anxiety, it ra th e r sharpens it,
constantly rem in d in g us of th e tangible presence o f death. C orpses lying on th e streets
b ecom e th e everyday view an d an average, o rd in a ry m an w ill have to face this reality:
W here does an ordinary m an, an average Jew of our times find strength for such death, what
can be com forting to him w hen he’s been awaiting his execution for weeks? (D 3)
A nalyzing the experience o f co n cen tratio n cam ps’ priso n ers, A. K ępiński ind icated th at
after crossing a certain b o rd e r of tolerance of th e unusual, prisoners defended them selves
from th e su rro u n d in g reality treatin g w h at w as h ap p en in g as a n ig h tm are .11 “Just like
a sleeping p erson escapes fro m a n ig h tm are th in k in g this is ju st a dream , th e p riso n ers’
defence from the cam p n ig h tm are w as th e feeling o f de-realization, th e un reality o f w hat
su rro u n d s them ,”12 claims A. K ępiński and this exactly th e case o f Rachela A uerbach.
H ow to avoid the reality w h ich is im possible to be handled? O ne c a n n o t ru n away from
th e G hetto, therefore th e au th o r finds h e r ow n w ay to tackle th e reality. H er strategy is
to d ream the nig h tm are till th e end. The jo u rn a l is a place w here this m ig h t be done.
Given notes often resem ble frozen film fram es, each experience and im age u n d e r­
goes enorm ous intensification, augm entation. The reality o f th e closed d istrict prepares
“strangely clear sym bolic sh o rt-cu ts” (D 1), w h ich are anim ated by R achela A uerbach
- like an experienced film directo r - on th e pages of h e r journal.
The w orld o f th e G hetto reveals to h er its grotesque nature: it gets d isto rted in a gi­
gantic false m irro r an d is red u ced to absurd. The grotesque becom es th e only possible
m e th o d to dom esticate th e chaos o f th e G hetto and also to register it.13 It is n o t only the
cultural category b u t also th e existential one. It expresses u niqueness o f p erso n al experi­
ence b u t rem ains the language of culture. The m o st characteristic example is a description
o f “the dead’s fair” in th e m orgue:
A nd so they were lying there in front of us (illegible) inert dead people. There are very few
“decent” places in the “factory”...merely 15 o r 20...They are lying and pretending they don’t see,
they are trying not to look at those w ho are lying by the walls, throw n on each other, one
along, another crosswise, someone face up, another face down, one m ore in an impossible,
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11
A. Kępiński, Nightmare, (in:) The R hythm o f Life, Cracow 1994.
12
Ibid., 15.
13
O n the grotesque as a means o f describing the reality o f the G hetto in R. A uerbach’s
journal, cf: J. Leociak, Text...
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arch-acrobatic position - on a pile. In piles. There is also segregation. Men and wom en sepa­
rately. C hildren also separated. Here o r there a dead child’s body rolls down. O ne of them was
delightfully spread out, 2- or 3-year-old kid w ith his arm s bent in elbows, and w ith fists as if
they were to wipe the eyes in a sleepy stretch...Here and there the rustle of paper can be heard.
O ne o f the corpses is looking for a m ore com fortable position, m aybe trying to straighten the
bones in private. (P 33-34)
Outside, in front of the factory, in a flume, I saw a few half rotten dead bodies...The stink was
horrifying but curiosity m ade m e look at it.” (P 36-37)
The m ultiplied te rro r of th e G hetto, its absurd un reality is so protective th at it allows
us to b reak a taboo: the au th o r is looking at th e d ecom posing bodies. L ooking in the
face o f a corpse, breaking th e taboo an d w atching d eath deprived o f its dignity n o t only
evokes fascination. The em b o d ied an d literalized d eath - given th e status o f personified
existence - m akes th e horrified au th o r recognize h e r ow n end. She sm ells th e p u trid
o d o u r o f h er ow n skin:
It seems like a sweet, putrid smell. Characteristic, different than the smell of anim al carcass,
the smell of hum an carcass. Don’t we know this smell well enough, don’t we sometimes smell
it on our sweaty skin, wouldn’t we recognize it imm ediately w ithout any guidelines, even if
we felt it for the first time? (P 32)
R achela A uerbach, im m ersed in th e w orld o f th e closed d istrict, totally absorbed w ithin
it, presents to us the tragic “w orld upside down,” th e w orld w here everyday life loses
its p rim a ry attribute: routin e, w here th e b o u n d aries betw een life and d eath are b lu rred
(“b u ried alive,” w rites R achela A uerbach). Life becom es a seem ing activity because th e
only possible strategy o f life is to w ait passively for death. All o th er activities are p e r­
form ed in th e vacuum , the au th o r com pletely loses co n tro l over h er life. The feeling of
to tal danger, autom ation, u n co m m o n n ess, an d helplessness - therefore all attributes of
a n ightm are (or a trajectory) - prevails over an individual. The only possible reaction
tu rn s out to be an attem pt to dom esticate th e trajecto ry by m eans o f g etting closer to it,
im m ersin g in it consciously.
E m b o d im en t o f death: a corpse can be considered as an em blem o f th e w hole G hetto
experience o f R achela A uerbach. It becom es n o t a m etap h o r o f th e subject’s perso n al
death b u t a strong and real analogy. W h a t shall one do looking straig h t in th e eyes of
one’s own death? The only answ er th e a u th o r finds is: n o t to lose consciousness in the
m iddle of the inferno b u t rem em b er and w rite dow n. Language is ev erything th a t we
can set against death (especially w h en it is a language o f th e grotesque, th en it is possible
to ridicule the reality). T rust for the language becom es a straw a drow ning m an clutches at.
The m o st dram atic last th ree years o f Janusz K orczak’s life overlap w ith th e war. In
N ovem ber 1940, K orczak m oves w ith his pupils to th e G hetto area. Leaving th e o rp h a n ­
age by K orczak an d th e children in o rd er to m ove to th e closed d istrict starts th e m o st
tragic p erio d in th eir life. They n o t only left a safe h o m e b u t w ere also th ro w n in to the
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Disregarded Trajectory: Janusz Korczak
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strange inferno o f th e G hetto, into hunger, sickness, an d death. D u rin g th e m oving
process, K orczak was arrested and sp en t one m o n th in p riso n , w h ich exhausted him
physically and em otionally. A fter g etting released, he h ad to take th e responsibility of
providing food supply to all of his orphans. He was responsible for two h u n d re d children
w ho - till th e very end - he trie d to save fro m th e n ig h tm are o f th e G hetto (originally,
one h u n d re d children lived in th e o rphanage b u t d u rin g th e w ar this n u m b e r radically
increased). It w as for th e m th a t he w ent aro u n d gene in stitu tio n s and private people
begging for food. In F eb ru ary 1942, he to o k up a n o th er un d ertak in g : he trie d to rescue
children from the M ain H ouse o f Shelter w h ich h ad tru ly b ecom e a place for th e dying.14
The only tim e th a t w as free fro m intense an d exhaustive w o rk w ere m o m en ts in the
evening or at n ig h t w hen th e entire ho u se was asleep, K orczak devoted th o se m o m en ts
to w rite a d iary w h ich - to g eth er w ith d o cu m en ts tracked dow n in 1988 - constitutes
th e p rim a ry source o f know ledge a b o u t th e G hetto life o f K orczak (an d his p u p ils).15
The figure o f K orczak, his life an d p artic u larly his death , b ecam e th e source o f
a legend. The subject o f th e debate is n o t Janusz K orczak - th e fam ous social w orker,
w riter, pedagogue w hose ideas changed th e percep tio n o f th e process o f b rin g in g up
a child. All over the w orld, th ere are h u n d re d s o f publications devoted to this legendary
personage. Instead, th e in terest focuses on th e old, tired m an w ith a d u ty to provide for
tw o h u n d re d children th ro w n w ith h im into th e ghetto reality. In o th er w ords, I w ould
like to concentrate on subjective ju d g em en ts and experiences o f one o f th e participants
o f the G hetto d ram a in a situation of con tin u o u s threat. Therefore, I am in terested in
K orczak as an au th o r o f Diary, letters, and articles in th e w eekly p ap er p ublished in the
H ouse of O rp h an s d u rin g th eir stay in th e G hetto. These texts are also treated as p e r­
sonal docum ents b o th b ein g th e source o f know ledge a b o u t K orczak’s life in th e G hetto
an d offering insight directly into his experiences and em otions related w ith th e G hetto.
W h en Korczak began to w rite his diary, he was 63 or 64 years old. H e started m a k ­
in g notes in January 1940; after a break, he w ent b ack to w ritin g his observations dow n
as late as in M ay 1942. He regularly con d u cted th e jo u rn a l by A ugust o f th e sam e year.
The last n ote dates b ack to 4 A ugust 1942 - it was m ad e a few days before his d eath in
one of Treblinka’s gas cham ber (the exact date o f K orczak an d his o rp h an s’ tra n sp o rt
to th e concentration cam p is n o t k n o w n , it m o st p robably h ap p en ed on 6 A ugust 1942,
th e date o f K orczak’s d eath rem ains u n k n o w n either - 7 or 8 A ugust). In th e course of
tim e, th e regularly n o ted dow n m em ories began to be focused m o re on cu rre n t events
an d gradually tu rn e d into a journal.
K orczak’s D iary was an effect of co m bining an d co n fro n tin g elem ents of au tobiogra­
phy, diary, an d jo u rn al. A utobiographical bits scattered in th e text (this is h o w K orczak
h im self talks about his notes) in fact com pose th e entire life o f th e author. M em ories
14
D etailed biographic inform ation concerning the life ofJanusz Korczak in the G hetto, cf.
A. Lewin, When the end was coming... The last years ofJanusz Korczak’s life, Warsaw 1996
and id. Korczak known and unknown, W arsaw 1999.
15
I used the following editions: Janusz Korczak The Diary, (in:) id. Selection o f works, vol. 4,
W arsaw 1958; Janusz Korczak in the Ghetto. N ew Sources, W arsaw 1992.
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stand close to loose reflections and opinions resulting fro m years sp en t on w atching
people and the w orld. Further, we can also find fragm ents b ein g a d hoc observations
w ith no tim e perspective. These p arts are characterized by th e in tim ate an d m ysterious
aura and appear to be utterly direct an d spontaneous - typical o f a jo u rn al. In K orczak’s
D iary tim e perspectives cross: fro m th e g hetto tow ards th e past and th e m em ories b u t
also into the future, tow ards n ew plans. The clash o f various perspectives, th e m ix tu re
o f autobiography, diary, and jo u rn a l elem ents is em phasized b y in tra-tex tu al tension,
b u t it m ig h t also becom e a startin g p o in t for th e analysis o f Janusz K orczak’s experience
in th e G hetto.
“W ho describes som eone else’s p ain , as if th e y w ere stealing, tak in g advantage o f th e
m isery, as if they w anted m o re” (537), w rites th e author, som ew hat declaring to ignore
in his notes crim es th a t su rro u n d e d h im and to avoid archiving c u rren t events. A few
pages earlier, he “forgot to m en tio n th a t th ere is w ar” (514) an d it w as a n o te m ad e in
M ay 1942. ^ e overall assum ption is th a t m em ories are a d o m in an t elem ent:
^ e r e is a risk that I will repeat m yself m ore often. W hat is even worse, facts and experiences
m ay be, m ust be and will be reported differently. ^ a t ’s nothing. It only proves that these were
im portant m om ents I deeply felt and to w hich I keep going back. It also shows that m em ories
depend on our present experiences. (536)
O f course, th e m ajority o f D iary takes fo rm of nostalgic m em o ries related w ith his
child h o o d and later professional life, m em ories th a t are b rig h t and inn o cen t. However,
w e m ig h t risk a statem ent th a t despite th e d o m in atio n of “d iary elem ents” in term s of
the volum e, K orczak’s text still keeps his jo u rn a l character. N o t only because, obviously,
“m em ories d ep en d on o u r presen t experiences” and o u r cu rren t situation influences th e
assessm ent o f the past. In his D iary K orczak goes fu rth er: he m akes p ast events sound
like th ey are hap p en in g now, he looks at cu rre n t events th ro u g h th e p rism of th e past. He
does it in a m a n n e r allow ing us to find th e reflection o f his co n tem p o rary psychological
states in his account of events th a t are historical to him . It is illustrated by th e m em o ry
o f his first death experience (death o f a canary):
I w anted to put a cross on its (the canary’s) grave. ^ e servant told me that it was a bird, som e­
thing m uch lower than a hum an being. It is even a sin to cry. ^ a t ’s for the servant. W hat is worse,
the caretaker’s son said the canary was Jewish. A nd m e too. I was Jewish and he was Polish,
Catholic. He is going to paradise and, after I die, - if I don’t curse and bring him sugar stolen
from hom e - I w ould go to a place w hich is not hell but it’s dark out there. A nd I was scared of
a dark room. D eath - Jew - hell. Black Jewish paradise. ^ e r e was a lot to think about. (513)
An old m an (a beggar who collected m oney after the Nativity play - M.M.). N othing but him.
Him in the first row. He was insatiable. His bag got filled w ith first, indifferent parental silver
coins, then, m y own strenuously gathered copper. Bitterly experienced and educated, I col­
lected it for a long time, from wherever I could. An old m an in the street was often the victim;
I thought, “I will not give it to him, I will hide it for m y Nativity play old m an. My old m an
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Inseparably connected w ith th e n atio n ality p ro b lem and p u n ish m en t for b ein g different,
this w as the earliest experience o f d eath n o ted dow n by K orczak in M ay 1942, b eing
already inside o f th e “black Jewish p aradise”:
H o loca u st in Literary and C u ltura l Studies
was never satisfied and his bag was never full...The old m an from Miodowa, after the desper­
ate siege of Warsaw, taught m e a lot. Helplessness of defence from im portunate begging and
endless dem ands that cannot be fulfilled. (529-530)
- w rites K orczak in th e p e rio d w hen he was responsible for feeding th e entire orphanage
(the n ote m ade on 15 M ay 1942).
My frequently returning dream and project was to leave for China....I d id not go to C hina but
C hina came to me. Chinese hunger, Chinese m isery of orphans, Chinese death of children.
(536-537)
The above quotes indicate th a t K orczak was com pletely im m ersed in th e G hetto reality,
even th o u g h he “forgot to m en tio n th a t th ere is war.” “R ecalling” th at, K orczak n o t only
m akes the p ast soun d presen t an d affirms th e reality of th e past, b u t he also goes deeper
into the reality o f th e G hetto. N o t so m u ch does he rein terp ret th e p ast as he interprets
th e present. The past, even b rig h t and in n o cen t, can n o t becom e an analgesic for a m an
w ho is th ro w n into th e h o rro r of th e G hetto.
N otes in K orczak’s D iary n o t only refer to th e particu larly sensitive fact o f “to u ch in g
th e G hetto,” to the focused reflection over th e reality o f th e G hetto w h ich becom es a test
to all p ast experiences o f th e author. They are also an evidence th at, day b y day, he loses
th e sense of predictability o f life; th e p erm a n e n t, th e w ell-know n an d th e o rdered no
longer provides an illusion o f stability, th e fu tu re is u n k n o w n , a m a n faces unknow n,
unpredictable forces alone, as if th ere was already a sto rm above th e ir head:
W here will the clouds come from? W hat kind of invisible ohm s, volts, neon signs will gather
to create a coming thunder o r w ind from the dessert and w hen will it happen? The torm ent­
ing question, “D id I act right or wrong?” becom es m orose accom panim ent for the carefree
children’s breakfast. (541)
Now, when I know that I don’t know and why I don’t know, whenever I can, according to the
basic claim: “Do not harm the sick,” I swim into the unknow n waters. (556)
Spit and go away. I’ve thought about it for so long. More - noose - led m y feet. (588)
The G hetto reality is u npredictable, w hereas little everyday activities becom e th e source
o f m isery:
Are honest people from higher levels perm anently doom ed to Calvary? (518)
126
Help, Almighty! Let them stop asking, begging, talking...I w ould like to have nothing, so that
they can see I have nothing, to let it all end. I came back from the “round” crushed. Seven visits,
conversations, stairs, questions. The result: 50 zlotys and declared 5 zlotys monthly. You can
support two h undred people! I go to sleep in m y clothes. The first hot day. I can’t sleep, and at
9 pm we hold an educational m eeting. (543)
S peaking o f th e gen eral co n cep t o f trajectory, G e rh ard R iem an n an d F ritz Schutze
defined it as a category d escrib in g a b io g ra p h ic chain o f events w h ich d istu rb th e c o n ­
tro l over one’s life, m a k in g an in d iv id u a l feel p u sh ed fro m th a t m o m e n t on. K orczak
talks ab o u t th is state m etap h o rically : “n o o se a n d lead at m y feet,” “u n k n o w n w aters,”
th e storm , C alvary.
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Suffering caused by helplessness tow ards th e inevitable fate in tru d e s th e sphere of
one’s identity. The identity’s im age undergoes transform ation. A lienation tow ards oneself
entails changes in defining one’s identity. Suffering, w hich becom es th e basic in d icato r of
the “I,” is at th e sam e tim e im possible to co m m un icate.16 “W ho am I now ?" asks K orczak
from w ithin the trajectory:
An old blind Jew was left in Myszyniec. He walked with his stick among carts, horses, cossacks,
cannons. W hat a cruelty to leave a blind old m an alone.
They w anted to take him with them, says Nascia, but he insisted on staying, because somebody
needs to watch the synagogue.
I m et N astka w hen I helped her find a bucket taken away from her by a soldier who was sup­
posed to bring it back but he never did. I am the blind Jew and Nastka. (594)
16
O n inability to com m unicate and alienation in suffering, cf. Ricoeur Philosophy o f
a Person, transl. M . Frankiewicz, Cracow 1992, eschapter Suffering is not pain.
17
I. M aciejewska Janusz Korczak’s Diary, (in:) Janusz korczak —life and work, materials from
the International Scientific Session, Warsaw, O ctober 12-13, 1978, ed. H . Kirchner,
A. Lewin, S. W ołoszyn, Warsaw, 1982, 256.
18
Cf. Ricoeur, Language, text, interpretation. Selection o f works, transl. Graffi, K. Rosner,
W arsaw 1989, 256.
19
Ibid., 154.
20
Cf. I. Maciejewska, Janusz..., 256.
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D oes th e sto ry fro m th e a u th o r’s life gain th e m e an in g o f a g reat m etap h o r, a p a r­
able a b o u t th e necessity to defend one’s values an d a b o u t th e fate o f a g u ard o f those
values (this is how this fra g m en t w as co m m en ted on b y Iren a M aciejew ska).17 This
is surely also th e case. I believe th a t th e fu n d a m e n ta l m atter, how ever, is a p ossibility
to experience oneself and to co m m u n icate th e id e n tity o f th e “I.” If u n d e rsta n d in g
a m e ta p h o r m ay serve as a key to c o m p re h e n d lo n g er tex ts,18 o r th e w hole discourse,
w e m ig h t risk a statem en t th a t th e “b lin d Jew an d N astka” m e ta p h o r op en s th e re ad e r
to th e experience o f Janusz K orczak’s G hetto trajectory. The figures o f th is tra jec to ry
are a cheated child and a helpless, g ro p in g old m an . A m eta p h o r n eed s lin g u istic te n ­
sion in o rd e r to m ain tain ten sio n in th e im age o f reality. This te n sio n , follow ing the
w ords o f Paul R icoeur, takes place “n o t betw een th e w ords b u t w ith in th e au xiliary
itself.”19 The irrem ovable o p p o sitio n betw een th e language (verb alizatio n ) an d th e
experience o f oneself an d one’s ow n suffering leads K orczak to ra d ic al expressions.
The m e ta p h o r o f th e to rn id e n tity evokes a o n e-tim e, m o m e n ta ry clasp o f th e sense
in sid e o f “I am ” w h ich reveals th e “deep suffering I,” th e d eep est in d iv id u a l id en tity
b ey o n d its social identity.
O ne o f th e m o st contro v ersial frag m en ts o f D iary is H istory’s P rogram m e Speech.
The a u th o r presents th e N azis’ p o in t o f view u sin g th e ir m o st ra tio n al a rg u m en ts.20
F rom th e ex tern al perspectiv e, w ith th e eyes o f a G e rm an , he tries to n o t o n ly lo o k at
th e G hetto reality b u t he also tries to see him self:
H o loca u st in Literary and C u ltura l Studies
You are a social worker? Here is a plan. You can pretend for some tim e and we will pretend
to believe. We generally believe until it is com fortable and in w hat is com fortable to us. I’m
sorry: uncomfortable. W hat has been planned. (589)
G erm an th in k in g becom es a m irro r in w h ich th e au th o r can see h im self clearly. See
h im self som ew hat “fro m outside,” fro m an o th er p o in t o f view, looking as if th ro u g h
binoculars, b u t th e oth er w ay around. G iving place to th e G erm an on th e pages o f his
in tim ate notes tu rn s in to th e closest possible en co u n te r w ith an o th er p erson, although
th ey b o th take radically different positions. U n d erstan d in g th e o th e r is a co ndition
to u n d erstan d an d express oneself. ’t t e last observation in D iary displays a desire for
such an encounter an d for u n d erstan d in g , alth o u g h on th e fo rm al level, “he” an d “I” are
vividly distinguished (b o th in term s o f g ram m ar and physically; th ey are separated by
th e space betw een th e w in d o w an d th e sentinel w here th e G erm an is standing):
I’m watering flowers. My bold head in the window - such a good aim. He has a rifle. W hy is
he standing and looking calmly? He has not been given an order. O r maybe, being a civilian,
he was a country teacher, a notary, a street sweeper in Leipzig, or a waiter in Cologne? W hat
w ould he do if I nodded in his direction, waved to him friendly? Maybe he doesn’t even know
how it is here? He m ight have just come yesterday from far away. (599)
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In his m em o ry o f M yszyniec, fro m th e p erio d o f th e First W orld War, th e a u th o r finds
h im self in the experience o f th e o th er b y m eans of th e en cou nter an d by going deep into
“he”; th ro u g h integ ratin g th e o thers’ experiences, he discovers him self. In Speech... “he”
(the G erm an) takes over th e com petences o f “I” (the auth o r) so th a t th e au th o r could
lo ok at him self from outside as well. ’t t i s em phatic narrative is deprived of its boundaries
because there are con tin u o u s attem pts to give voice to “th e other.”
Incessant tension b etw een “I” and “he” perm eates th ro u g h th e above q u o ted frag­
m ents. ’t t e oppositio n o f “I-subject” an d “h e-o b ject belon g in g to th e outside w o rld ”
is abolished. Such attitude is radically im p lem en ted in a p a rt o f th e diary, w here “th e
o th er” com pletely takes over th e au th o r’s com petences. A t th e sam e tim e, th e experience
o f “th e o th er” gets inclu d ed into th e experience o f th e speaking subject an d integrated
into the “I.” ’t t e text becom es a space due to w hich, by creating “th e other,” it is possible
to experience oneself (an attem p t to reach som eone elses w ay of th in k in g is located
w ith in clearly draw n fram es o f th e autobiography).
Everyday distress, b ein g lost in th e G hetto reality, is such a p ain fu l experience th at
it is necessary to lo o k for b reath in g space. Even a m o m en ta ry chance to h id e fro m the
insane stream of stirrin g events brings com fort.
For a sh o rt m o m en t, one’s ow n b ed at n ig h t becom es th e only asylum . Days are hard
(518), arduous (534, 538), exhausting (595), full o f hostile and m o rb id em otions and
experiences (595). The b e d and th e n ig h t are definitely assessed in a positive m anner,
th ey becom e extraterritorial, entirely excluded. Living in th e rh y th m o f day an d nig h t
becom es a m e th o d to save one’s ow n privacy:
Five glasses of spirit with hot w ater give m e inspiration. It is followed by the delightful feel­
ing of painless exhaustion because the scar doesn’t count and “twinging” legs don’t count,
even hurting eyes or a burning scrotum do not count. Inspiration m akes m e aware of the fact
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(Młodkowska) Janczewska
Ghetto Trajectories
that I am lying in m y bed and it will last till the m orning comes. So twelve hours of norm al
functioning o f lungs, heart and thoughts. After a busy day. In m y m outh, the taste of cabbage
and garlic, and a caramel candy I have p ut in the glass. Epicurean...I’m feeling good, quiet and
safe...so quiet and safe. (538)
Be greeted, beautiful silence of the night.(542)
It’s so soft and w arm in m y bed. It will be very hard for m e to get up. (594)
W h a t is characteristic in K orczak’s acco u n t is sim ilarity o f his p erso n al experience of
day an d n ig h t and th e Jewish philo so p h y o f tim e. K orczak lives in th e rh y th m o f “tirin g
day” and “com forting night.” It seem s th a t his tim e is absolutely private: n eglecting th e
“tim e o f the G hetto” w hich consists o f sub seq u en t ex term inatio n actions. It tu rn s out
th a t in the Jew ish trad itio n , th e n ig h t is explicitly su p erio r to th e day. It is darkness th at
is a special and solem n tim e w ith traits o f happiness.
All Jewish holidays are m arked with intense preparation the day before, after which, by the
sunset and together with first stars in the sky, there is a radical change, going from acting
to resting, from the secular to the sacred.21
W e m ig h t risk a m etaphorical statem en t th a t K orczak lives in th e G hetto having his
private, everyday Shabbat. N eglecting th e “gene tim e” becom es one o f th e elem ents of
n eglecting the G hetto trajectory, an elem ent of b ein g faithful to th e private ritual.
R esponsibility for the o rphanage (th en for tw o orphanages) held b y Janusz K orczak
in the G hetto forced h im to co n stan t activities. Perhaps it w ould be difficult to find a n ­
o th er p erson w ho w ould b e so full o f initiatives. P roviding for th e orphanage, w orking
on reorganization of the M ain H ouse of Shelter, w o rkin g on different projects aim ing at
im proving the fate o f children in th e G hetto (such as organization o f a u n it for m ortally
ill and dying children o f th e streets, cf. N Z, 63) - these are som e o f his everyday activi­
ties. Letters, articles, rep o rts he w rote in th e G hetto show h im as an energetic m an, full
o f ideas and unstoppable in his efforts to im prove children’s life. B ut also ro u g h and
ruthless, if it was req u ired to help orphanages:
He begged, threatened, argued. He didn’t care who would donate and w hether it w ould be
enough for others. He was a father of two hundred children and he had to provide for them.
'ffiis was another Korczak...Tired, irritated, suspicious, prepared to m ake a big fuss about
a barrel of cabbage, a sack of flour.22
21
A. Neher, Visions o f time and history in the Jewish culture, transl. B. Chwedeczuk, (in:)
time in Culture, Warsaw, 1988, 279.
22
I. Newerly, Introductory note to J. Korczak, Diary, (in:) J. Korczak, Selection o f works,
vol. 4, 506.
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D oes this im age n o t stand in co n trad ictio n to th e pictu re o f th e “b lin d Jew an d N astka”
com ing out o f K orczak’s Diary? C an a m a n w ho is “pushed,” im pelled by th e G hetto
trajectory, sim ultaneously m ake plans and, w h at is m ore, (even if partially) carry o u t his
plans? In o rd er to answ er this question, it w ould be w o rth looking into th e way K orczak
assessed his actions him self:
H o loca u st in Literary and C u ltura l Studies
A thought. A barber does hair, a m anicurist (sic) takes care of nails of a convict w ho is on his
way to the gallows. The second thought: an owner of the circus strenuously tames anim als in
order to have them killed once they are tam ed. (NZ, 131)
W hat do they w ant from me? A m erchant wom an reacted to the claims of a buyer:
- Dear Mrs, these are not goods, this is not a shop, you are not a client and I am not a seller,
I don’t sell and you don’t pay me...Only, one needs to do something, right? (552)
D espite its tragic n a tu re or due to it, th e reality o f th e G hetto reveals its grotesque char­
acter. Every action rem ain s superficial, self-deceiving. This is h o w K orczak perceives his
w ork. His w o rk is d o o m ed to failure because it is im possible to fulfil th e needs o f the
G hetto inhabitants and there is scarcity o f food and m edicam ents. In H istory’s Programme
Speech K orczak sees his w o rk as a p a rt o f N azis’ plan. This is w hy it is d o o m ed to failure
from th e very beginning. Is th ere a m o re d ram atic d escription o f his attem pts to save
th e children th a n his com parison to th e b a rb e r w ho does th e convict’s h air before th e
execution? F u rth er he w rites th a t life in th e G hetto is “A m en tal house. A gam e house.
M onaco. Stake-head.” (595)
A fool an d pretender, a helpless paw n, a player w ho passively subm its to th e fate - this
is how he judges himself. But can he stop w orking? C an the blind Jew leave the synagogue?
K orczak’s activities in th e G hetto are n o t th e em b o d im en t o f th e trajecto ry d o m es­
tication, the attem p t to co n tro l it - on th e contrary, th ey stren g th en th e trajectory. The
feeling o f b eing lost an d th e n eed to act m ake each o th er stronger, b eco m in g tw o sides
o f th e sam e reality betw een w hich th ere is tw o-w ay feedback.
Is it possible to get o u t of th e vicious circle o f self-propelling m isery? D eath could
b e th e only escape.
The reflection over death accom panied K orczak th ro u g h o u t his w hole life. It was n o t
only linked w ith his profession b u t it also co n cern ed his p erso n al experiences: death of
his m o th er for w h o m K orczak felt responsible (she died of typhus, after b ein g infected by
h er son w h o m she to o k care o f d u rin g his illness). His plan to co m m it suicide m atu red
in h im th ro u g h the years:
If I kept postponing m y thoroughly designed plan (of suicide), it was because always in the
last m om ent, a new dream em erged which I could not leave w ithout trying to w ork on it.
(535)
In th e G hetto, K orczak always carried m o rp h in e in his pocket. A large p a rt o f D iary is
devoted to thoughts on euthanasia, w h ich he considered as a sign o f mercy.23
I feel smudged, stained w ith blood and stinking. C unning since I’m alive - I sleep, I eat,
I som etim es even joke. (566)
After the war, for a long tim e people will not be able to look in each other’s eyes not to see the
following question: how is it that you are alive, that you survived? W hat did you do? (567)
130
23
The last spectacle in the O rphanage was also devoted to death. It was The Post Office by
Rabindranath Tagore. To the m ain character o f the play, a sick Indian boy Am al, death
stands for salvation and it is embodied by dream ed o f life on the king’s court.
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Life, therefore, becam e a subject an d a reason to b e asham ed, w hile d eath - a d u ty of an
ethical m an. “A b astard m ig h t live to see his grey h a ir” (596). K orczak d id n o t com m it
suicide. H e didn’t decide to escape, to stop th e trajectory. In his ceaseless co nfrontation
w ith death, w ith o u t illusions regarding this fu rth e r life an d th e fate o f th e entire closed
district, he rem ained alive.
The dynam ics o f chaos, th e unp red ictab le stream o f events, w h ich engages a person
th ro w n into the G hetto, finds its em b o d im en t in th e b io graphic process th a t affects
Janusz Korczak. B eing com pletely d ep en d en t on external forces and conscious effort
to ignore th e m m ake the biography o f an in d ividual an d th e external reality intertw ine.
The w orld o f the G hetto in tru d e d th e in d iv id u al fate and p e n etrated it. In th e trajectory
o f chaotic events, K orczak escapes into th e story ab o u t him self. B ut searching for his
id en tity in new circum stances d eterm in ed b y th e closed area o f th e G hetto becom es
a story about experiencing th e reality o f exterm in atio n (w ith o u t notice, th e diary tu rn s
into th e jo u rn al). A nd on th e c o n trary - keeping to th e w ell-know n system o f actions,
the everyday ritu al o f obtaining food helps K orczak realize th a t it is im possible to control
the trajectory. A ctions w hich are supposed to oppose and neglect chaos, b ecom e a p art
o f the chaos w hich m ake it even m o re intense. The trajecto ry ’s d isorder is stopped only
once: d u rin g the encounter w ith th e o th er w ho “m ig h t have com e here only yesterday
from far away.”
The three exem plary biographies constitute a story about a personal experience o f the
final situation. They show effort to find su p p o rt in th e w orld w here everything changed
and resem bles a chaotic w h irl w h ich destroys p redictability an d sucks everybody in.
The feeling o f b ein g together, language, p erso n al ritual, o r an en co u n te r w ith th e other
m ay stop the trajectory for a m o m en t. However, th e only p e rm an e n t factor rem ains the
sense of id en tity w hich is new ly defined in th e b o rd e r situation.
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131
Translation: M arta Skotnicka