ISSUE NO. 253 JULY 2015 Hopeville Social Club Tel: 01467 621478 34 Harlaw Road, Inverurie www.hopeville-social-club.co.uk The Hopeville Sign Coming Shortly On Saturday July 11th Enjoy a brilliant evening in the company of The Davitt's Top Irish Country Band reckoned to be Ireland’s best Country Band. Tickets costing £12.50 on sale now. Saturday 15th August sees the return of one of our favourites, Paula MacAskill, tickets, costing £8, will go on sale on Sunday 19th July It wont have been obvious to most members, but the sign above our main door has been secured by rope for some time now, due to the deterioration of the backing board. However, thanks to the following committee members, Ron Killoh, Wattie Strachan and Dave Walsh, the sign above the front door has had a new backing board fitted and the sign is secure once more. Thanks guys, you’ve done a great job, much appreciated On Friday 2nd October there is a Marie Curie Fundraiser, featuring Maris Janetta Big Band from 7 till 10.30PM Committee Vacancies We still have several vacancies for committee members, anyone interested in joining our committee or seeking details of what is required should contact any committee member or leave word at the bar and we’ll get back to you. Wattie putting the final touches to the sign after replacing the backing board I s s ue 2 5 3 Page 2 HOPEVILLE ENTERTAINMENT Page 3 LET’S HAVE I s s ue 2 5 3 A LAUGH - THANKS TO RICHARD A man was stopped by the police around 2 am. The officer asked him where he was going at that time of night... The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture abo...ut alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late" The officer, " Oh really........ and who's giving that lecture at this time of night?" The Man, "That would be my wife" --- ——--------oOo- -------------My sexy Chinese neighbour told me she was desperate for a Roger. It was only when I had my trousers around my ankles that I realised she wanted to rent out her spare room! --- ——--------oOo- -------------- 63 Pakistanis died in Bradford this morning. It was not a terrorist attack, a bunk bed collapsed.. The police are blaming AL IKEA . --- ——--------oOo- -------------A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a mobile phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband, "Hi hun" he says "How do you like your new phone?" Two Indian junkies accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine. Both are in hospital...... One's in a korma....... The other's got a dodgy tikka! --- ——--------oOo- -------------- She replies "I just love it, it's so small and your voice is clear as a bell but there's one thing I don't understand though". "What's that, baby?" asks the husband. "How'd you know I was at Tesco?" she quietly replied... Two women called at my door and asked what bread I ate. When I said white, they gave me a lecture on the benefits of brown bread for 30 minutes.> I think they were those Hovis Witnesses. --- ——--------oOo- -------------- --- ——---- ——--------oOo- ----- My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to hoover the TEACHER: Jimmy, your house. Turns out she was a composition on 'My Dog' is Slovak. exactly the same as your --- ——--------oOo- -------------brother's.. Did you copy his? Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas JIMMY : No, sir. It's the same is on Friday this year". dog. Mick said, "Let's hope it's not the (I want to adopt this kid!!!) 13th then." --- ——--------oOo- ---------------- ——--------oOo- -------------- I s s ue 2 5 3 Page 4 July Crossword Return your entry to Ian Pratt before 31/07/2015. All correct entries will go into a draw. The winner will receive a bottle of spirits 3 8 4 5 6 7 9 10 11 12 13 16 17 14 18 19 20 21 22 23 26 27 24 28 30 34 15 29 31 35 25 32 36 37 39 33 38 40 41 43 NAME………………………….......................................... 2 MEMERSHIP No……… ............................ 1 44 42 45 46 47 48 49 50 ACROSS 1 Depot (9) 4 Fatty tissue (7) 9 Fraternity (11) 10 Elasticated garment (6) 13 Din (6) 14 Quick look (6) 16 Loud, showy (5) 19 Nautical send-off (3,6) 22 Fulcrum for an oar (7) 23 Make worse (9) 26 Motionless (5) 28 For ever (9) 30 Finance officer (9) 32 Backless seat (5) 34 Sleep all winter (9) 37 Put to death (7) 39 Fictitious name (9) 51 41 Outspoken (5) 43 Authoritarian (6) 45 Hairpiece (6) 48 locations (6) 49 Main road (11) 50 Best wishes (7) 51 Outer boundary (9) DOWN 1 Lacking (7) 2 Coarse (5) 3 Shrivelled (8) 5 Changing colour (6) 6 Reed instrument (4) 7 Salad vegetable (6) 8 Tale (5) 11 More powerful (8) 12 Cloak (4) 15 Swindle (5) 17 Nimble-fingered (6) 18 Boring (4) 20 Scottish island group (7) 21 Ventilate (3) 24 Personal servant (5) 25 Do well at (5) 26 Be quiet! (5) 27 Sizeable (5) 29 Garden centre (7) 31 Modern (2-2-4) 33 Acquire (6) 35 Inappropriate (5) 36 Born (3) 38 Summon (4) 39 Bucket (4) 40 Sicken, revolt (8) 41 Stomach (5) 42 Kitchen appliance (7) 43 Cup holder (6) 44 Knight's tunic (6) 46 Reconnoitre (5) 47 Boast (4) Page 5 I s s ue 2 5 3 Sports News Fae Wattie Winter Tournaments The entry sheets for this tear’s winter tournaments will be going up on the various notice boards in the club soon. The format will be similar to last year and a minimum of eight names per competition will be required for the event to take place. So watch out for the entry sheets and get your names down early. Hopeville Club Whatever you are celebrating Birthdays Engagements Weddings Retirements Christenings SUDOKU PRIVATE FUNCTIONS Whatever type of function you have we can cater for you at the Hopeville 5 1 9 1 5 6 8 3 2 8 6 5 3 7 6 2 8 6 5 9 1 9 4 2 8 3 7 June Crossword Solution ACROSS: 1. Luckless. 4, Chambers, 8. Pylon, 10. Gallop, 11. Venice, l2. Tempt, 14. Marina, 15. Caddie, 16. Strip, 18. Assist, 19. Repeat, 20. Guess, 23. Scalp, 25. Captive, 27. Silence, 30. Heart, 31. Thyme, 32. Casino, 34. Treaty, 36. Pitch, 38. Abroad, 40. Starch, 42. Carat, 45. Supple, 46. Minute, 47. Sinus, 48. Everyone, 49. Nuisance. DOWN: 1. Long jump, 2. Lanolin, 3. Scythe, 4. Crop up, 5. Magenta, 6. Selected, 7. Flourished, 9. Withdrawal, 13. Mars, 16. Stamp, 17. Pride, 20. Graph, 21. Scant, 22. Hilly, 23. Sleet, 24. Purse, 26. Paratroops, 27. Stoop, 28. North, 29. Mysterious, 33. Star, 35. Handsome, 37. White lie, 39. Ability, 41. Takings, 43. Admire, 44. Auburn. The following people submitted correct entries: Sandy Foubister, Ian S Denmark, David Walsh, Linda Cook, Bill Fraser, W Sandison, Linda Webb, Edith Murray, Bill Esslemont, Rosie Milne, Davy Pirie, John Mitchell, Derek Ingram, Helen McHardy, Aileen Philip, Elma Adams, Margaret Strathie, M Percival, Tom Anthony, Derek Massie, Arthur Watt, Derek Walker, John Murray, Mary Durno, Freda Edmond, Bob Durno, Mike Charlish, Sheila Knox, Irene McLeod, Ron Watson, George Kilgour, Wendy McDonald, Leith Robertson, George Findlay, Linda Strachan, Gibby Sutherland, K Reid, Allan Clark. All the correct entries were entered into a draw and the lucky winner was, Sheila Knox. Congratulations Sheila, please collect your prize from the bar. Page 6 I s s ue 2 5 3
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