Fact sheet 35 Sex and Sexual Health Having sex is a big step. It’s important you feel in control and make decisions that are right for you. Having sex is a big step. It’s important you feel in control and make decisions that are right for you. You may want to get advice from someone you trust such as a teacher, family friend, family member or carer. Your doctor or a family planning clinic can also give you information about sexual health, contraception and sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and blood born viruses (BBV’s) such as HIV. What is sexual health? Sexuality is the nature of a person’s basic sexual attraction to other people (ie. straight, lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, pansexual) it is important to remember that not everyone is straight or heterosexual and that this is completely natural and normal. If you have any questions in regards to your sexuality or gender identity you may like to talk to a counsellor or someone you trust. Sexual health (includes avoiding things like STI’s and unplanned pregnancies but it also) includes feeling good about who you are attracted to and the decisions you make around sexual activity. Regardless of gender or sexuality, sexual health is something that we all need to think and talk about. Are you ready? There can be emotional consequences to having sex with someone and it can sometimes really change a relationship. Sex can be enjoyable with the right person, but it’s very easy to make mistakes and end up hurt, so how do you know when you’re ready? Legally, you aren’t allowed to have sex with anyone until you’re over the age of consent (check out www.lawstuff.org.au for more info around the age of consent across Australia). But it takes more than just being a legal age to make you ready for sex – you need to be emotionally ready too. If you are considering having sex, ask yourself the following things: Are you doing this because YOU want to? Not because someone wants you to or because your friends are encouraging you to do so. Do we all want this? You may decide that you are ready to have sex, but it might be that someone else isn’t, even if they have had sex before. Don’t ever pressure anyone to have sex if they’re not sure. Having sex with someone without their consent is against the law, it is rape. Do I feel safe? Having sex with someone you trust is going to make it a much better experience. Sex can leave you feeling vulnerable and you want to feel safe and be able to talk about your feelings. Do I feel comfortable talking about sex and contraception? It’s important that you feel comfortable and safe talking about sex and contraception. Being prepared is smart and shows you have respect for someone else but most importantly for yourself. Do I feel comfortable having sex with someone, and doing it sober? It’s normal to feel mixed emotions and even a little awkward or embarrassed when having sex with someone for the first time. If you feel like you might need to drink alcohol or take drugs because you feel uncomfortable then it’s probably not the right time to have sex or perhaps they are not the right person. Do I know how to have sex safely? Making an informed choice is really important with most things in life. Get some information, speak to a doctor, counsellor or someone you trust about how to keep safe and protect yourself from STIs and pregnancy. Safer sex There are lots of ways people can have sex and some involve more risk than others. Safer sex means choosing behaviours which: • show respect • reduce the risk of STIs and BBV’s • you find enjoyable • reduce the risk of unplanned pregnancy • always have the consent those involved headspace National Youth Mental Health Foundation Ltd is funded by the Australian Government Department of Health and Ageing under the Youth Mental Health Initiative Program headspace.org.au Sex and sexual health You might have heard the term ‘safe sex’. We prefer the term ‘safer sex’ as no sex can be guaranteed as 100% safe from pregnancy and STI transmission, even when a condom is used. Heterosexual sex without a condom or other form of contraception can result in pregnancy, and if the other person has an STI (and you might not know they do, they might not even know they do!), you can become infected too. Providing consent is about being able to make a decision with a clear mind such as being free from the effects of alcohol and other drugs, not feeling under pressure from anyone and there not being a serious mental or intellectual disability that affects someone’s ability to understand what is happening. Keep yourself out of trouble by always checking in with yourself and others to make sure that everyone is sober and comfortable with that decision. Sexual contact that does not involve any blood, semen or vaginal fluids being passed between people minimises the risk that you will get an STI. If used correctly, condoms and dental dams can also dramatically reduce the risk of most STIs and condoms can help prevent an unintended pregnancy. Keep yourself out trouble and show you care by always checking in that the person you want to have sex with is sober and comfortable with that decision. Contraception Contraception helps prevent pregnancy when used effectively (remember condoms are also the only form of contraception which help to protect against STIs). There are many other forms of contraception. The most well-known, is the contraception pill but other options include the female condom, diaphragm, or contraception that can be implanted under the skin of your arm or an Intra Uterine Device (IUD) which is inserted into the uterus by a doctor. When used correctly, contraceptives are pretty good at preventing pregnancies. However, it is important to remember that no contraceptive is 100 per cent effective. There is always a very small chance of pregnancy. Therefore, doubling up and using a hormonal contraceptive AND a condom is the safest option. Remember, the contraceptive pill does not protect you from STIs. Negotiating condom use Negotiating the use of a condom needs to start before you get to the bedroom (or wherever you may be having sex). It starts with being prepared, having condoms, knowing how to use them and knowing how to talk about safer sex before you start sexual activities. Carrying a condom and knowing how to use it does not mean you are ‘easy’ or necessarily an expert at sex, it just means you respect yourself and therefore are more likely to respect others. Alcohol, drugs and sex Alcohol can influence your decision to have sex. Balance, judgment, and coordination are often affected by alcohol and drug use. One of the most significant side effects of alcohol is being unable to think clearly and make good decisions. Mixing alcohol, drugs and sex is not a great idea and people can regret their actions, especially if it happens to be the first time they have had sex.1 Same Sex Attracted (SSA) and sexual health The importance of practising safe sex is just as relevant for everyone regardless of gender or sexuality. Even though sexual contact that does not involve any blood, semen or vaginal fluids being passed between partners minimises the risk that you will get an STI or BBV, nothing is ever one hundred per cent risk free. Sexual activity between women has a lower risk of STI transmission, however lower risk does not mean there is no risk at all. It is still possible for two women to pass infections on to one another, if one person is infected. It is recommended that women who engage in sexual activity with other women should still take the same precautions as straight couples. Men who have sex with men are at increased likelihood of acquiring an STI2, however, if used correctly condoms can dramatically reduce the risk. It is important for everyone to practise safe sex and to visit a doctor or sexual health centre for regular screenings and check-ups. Sexual health checks are not always uncomfortable or embarrassing – you don’t always have to be be naked or deal with needles. If no symptoms are present, often a urine sample is all that is required. For further information: If you are thinking about having sex, talk to your doctor or a family planning clinic about safer sex and sexual health. headspace centres across Australia provide information, support and services to young people, aged 12 to 25 years. For more detailed information about sex and sexual health visit headspace.org.au Sexual Health and Family Planning Australia Find links to a sexual health and family planning services in your State. www.shfpa.org.au 1 Crowe, LC; George, WH (1989). “Alcohol and human sexuality: Review and integration”. Psychological Bulletin 105 (3): 374–86. doi:10.1037/0033-2909.105.3.374. PMID 2660179. 2 http://www.racgp.org.au/afp/200610/20061004baber.pdf Fact sheets are for general information only. They are not intended to be and should not be relied on as a substitute for specific medical or health advice. While every effort is taken to ensure the information is accurate, headspace makes no representations and gives no warranties that this information is correct, current, complete, reliable or suitable for any purpose. We disclaim all responsibility and liability for any direct or indirect loss, damage, cost or expense whatsoever in the use of or reliance upon this information.