SAFER SEX: English a guide for us WHAT KIND OF SEX DO YOU LIKE? SAFER SEX Do you know how to ask for what you want? Do you know how to say, “something would feel better if...”? Do you like to talk during sex? Before or after? Do you hate to talk about sex? What kind of sex makes you feel unsafe? What are you willing to do and not do with a partner? What is your partner willing to do and not do with you? Would you rather stop having sex or try doing it with latex? You know, it’s OK to have a hard time with safer sex. Actually, you’d be strange if you never had any difficulty talking about it or being safe all the time. So there’s a thing out there called HIV. HIV has no biases for or against a group of people. It does, however, like certain fluids in your body, which have a high level of white blood cells. Therefore, it affects all people who do things which transmit those fluids from one person to another, regardless of sexual identity, gender, age, race, ability, class or regional location. YES, YOU. HIV lives inside white blood cells in blood, semen, pre-cum, vaginal fluids (i.e. cum, discharge, ejaculate, etc.) and menstrual blood. HIV can also be transmitted through breast milk. Saliva, tears, and sweat have such low traces of white blood cells that you’d have to drink gallons at one time to put yourself at risk. Urine is sterile and does not transmit HIV. Your shit often has blood in it, and is, therefore, unsafe. WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY SAFER SEX? It’s all about choices. Most importantly, your choices. You choose what sexual play you want to engage in. You choose how much protection to use against HIV or Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs). You choose what to use in your sexual play. “Safer sex” means using latex or some other barrier during sex to keep yourself and your partner(s) from exchanging fluids which carry HIV and other STDs. Safer sex means educating yourself, planning in advance to have enough condoms/latex close at hand. If you have to get out of bed, go into another room, or if you simply left the stuff at home, you’re giving yourself one more excuse to play unsafely. It’s not automatic. While some things about sex “come naturally,” good sex (and good safer sex) usually takes practice. Before using something new during sex with another person, play with it by yourself so that you can get comfortable with it. SAFER SEX Safer sex means being okay with talking about what you want. That can include “let’s use this” and “I don’t want to do that” and “a little more to the right...” CONDOMS So many colors, so many sizes, so many shapes, so little time. Used correctly, they are the best method of preventing HIV transmission and other STDs for all sexual positions. There are three main types of condoms: latex, natural skins, and polyurethane. The most common condoms are made of latex. They work best with lots of water-based lubricants. Don’t use any oil-based lubricants (i.e. Vaseline, baby oil, cooking oil, etc.), because they will destroy the condom. CONDOMS Natural skin condoms are made from animal intestines, such as sheep, and do not prevent the transmission of HIV or STDs. Some people are allergic to latex and like to use natural skin condoms in combination with a latex condom. Polyurethane condoms are made from a form of plastic. You can use oil-based lubricants as well as water-based lubricants with Polyurethane condoms. They feel totally different, so check them out in advance. HOW TO PUT ON A CONDOM: 1. Put a new condom on the dick or dildo before entering your partner each time. Once the dick is hard, reach for a condom. Be careful not to tear the condom with your nails or teeth while opening it. 2. Place a couple of drops of water-based lubricant on the tip of the condom. Squeeze the tip as you place it on the head of the dick or dildo. This will add more sensitivity and provide room for ejaculation. 3. Roll it all the way down the penis or dildo. 4. Use lots of water-based lube on the condom for fucking. 5. Fuck like bunnies. CONDOMS HOW TO TAKE A CONDOM OFF: TIPS: 1. When you’re done, pull out of your partner while you are still hard, by holding onto the base of the condom to prevent cum from spilling onto your partner. 2. Carefully unroll the condom off the dick or dildo and tie it into a knot so that the cum doesn’t leak out. 3. Throw the condom away. Never reuse it. Never use a condom more than once. If you accidentally put a condom on the wrong way, use a new one. Some of your pre-cum may have gotten onto the outside of the condom. Store condoms in a cool, dry, dark place. Never in your wallet, back pocket, or in the car because heat can damage the condom. GLOVES For all “digital play” (i.e. using your fingers in someone’s vagina or anus) wear a latex glove, and use lots of lube. Your hands may look OK, but HIV is microscopic. Gloves make everything smoother, silkier, and safer. GLOVES TIPS: 1. You can get boxes of gloves at beauty supply houses. If you’re sensitive to the powder on gloves (or on latex), they are sold without powder at medical supply houses. 2. If you’ll be changing holes mid-play (e.g. anus to vagina, one butt to another, etc.) put on two gloves at the beginning. Then, when you want to switch, just take one off, and you’re ready. 3. Try lube on the inside of the glove. You’ll feel more, and the glove will seem thinner. LUBE For a lot of sex play, especially with latex, using a lubricant of some kind is highly recommended. The more lube, the less friction, the “smoother the ride.” TIPS: Many lubes contain Nonoxynol-9, which does help fight HIV, but may also cause an allergic reaction. Women and people with HIV are especially sensitive to it. Taste the lubricant and if your tongue becomes numb or you get a rash on your lips, you’re allergic to it. Keep some water nearby wherever you have sex (in a spray bottle or a squirt gun). If your lube begins to dry out, spray a little water. LUBE For your travel pack, pick up lube samples from anywhere you buy lube. You can also pick up free samples from your local health offices, AIDS outreach services, and from HIV testing sites. Try different lubes for different sex plays (masturbation, anal or vaginal sex) Lube makes everything wet and slippery. You can feel more. So can your partner(s). You can play longer. A lot longer! Using Nonoxynol-9 without a condom or gloves does not prevent HIV transmission. PLASTIC WRAP Already around many households, plastic wrap can be used for oral sex on women or for rimming (eating butt). You can buy microwavable or not, just use a name brand (they’re more reliable). TIPS: Take it out of the box to unroll and cut by tearing it, so you don’t get cut by the little razor edge on the box. Put some lube on his/her skin before wrapping. It’ll feel better and it will stay in place. PLASTIC WRAP Don’t stretch the wrap tight, just lay it against the skin with lube. This will help keep it from tearing, and you’ll also be licking all those nooks and crannies, not a flat sheet of plastic. Plastic wrap is clear, thin, and strong, and doesn’t taste like latex. You can see through it. It also comes in rolls so you aren’t restricted by size. Plastic wrap is also useful as a restraint... ORAL SEX So the deal with sucking cock and licking pussy is that there is some risk of getting HIV that way. Not as risky as through fucking, but the main thing to remember is that the risk is there. For sucking cock, use a condom. Practice putting it on with your mouth – surprise your partner! If you’re sucking off someone who’s too small for a condom, or if you just hate the taste of latex, loosely wrap your target in plastic wrap and suck away. ORAL SEX For muff diving (licking pussy) you have many options: 1) You can use plastic wrap 2) Cut up a condom or glove into a flat piece of latex 3) Use a latex dam (use one of the ones designed for sex. Dental dams are too thick and were meant for your dentist). Whatever you use, put lots of lube on your partner’s skin first, then eat them up! AQU 25A Asian and Pacific Islander, Queer & Questioning, Under 25, Altogether a program of the Asian & Pacific Islander Wellness Center Community HIV/AIDS Services 730 Polk Street, 4th Floor San Francisco, CA 94109 [415] 292.3400 FAX [415] 292.3404 e-mail address: [email protected] ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Written by Cianna Stewart and Henry Ocampo Art Direction and Design by Chris Habana Graphic Consultation by Robert Kato Design Photography by Rebekah Kao Special Thanks for the Contributions made by The Models and Assistants Funded by Center of Disease Control and AT&T/Magic Johnson Foundation
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