1. society
2. sex

I
I
500
kids have
about
by Lyndall Caldwell & Gaye Dell
An initiative of
Strengthening Family Relationships
...since 1926
first stop:
Mum & Dad
Parents & Kids alike
…READ ME FIRST!
Questions?
Questions for this book came directly from children in NSW.
They were collected over a decade from children aged from 10 to 14 years,
most of whom participated in Interrelate Family Centres, Ltd. School Services programs. Interrelate is a not-for-profit organisation committed to educating Australian children about relationships and sexuality; in fact, all
proceeds from the sale of this and another book, 400+ Questions Kids
Have about Relationships, go directly to ensure the valuable programs
they provide for our school communities in NSW will continue.
Talking about sexuality often gets a little complicated!
In this book, those questions have been answered simply and respectfully…a good common sense approach to genuine enquiries that were
most often collected at the end of sessions. They were collected anonymously to not only sidestep any embarrassment, but also, to make sure
no question ever goes unanswered.
Ideally, parents are the primary educators of their children, so with
that in mind Interrelate created this book as a family resource to
help the sometimes tricky conversation begin…to help it move
along…and to have solid outcomes for both kids and their parents.
First stop:
Second stop:
Mum and Dad
Questions Kids have about Sex
Answers?
Interrelate Family Centres although community based, is a leading
provider of relationship services in New South Wales. It began its pioneering work in 1926 with the introduction of authoritative sexuality education for young people. Today over 40,000 students and family
members participate in its school and family-based programs every
year. Interrelate educators are experts in the field, and have the passion
to help children and the experience to know how to handle the kinds of
questions that arise from discussions about sexuality and development.
how do I talk to
a girl?
Answers for this book evolved from a collaborative effort from the
wealth of experience and knowledge of Interrelate practitioners:
Lyndall Caldwell supplied the child-friendly facts…gleaned from
educating children about sexuality in dozens of schools throughout
NSW for a period of over 10 years.
Gaye Dell, author and illustrator of 7 other books for children, edited the answers with an easy-to-read tone; short answer, followed
by elaboration to ensure readability for an audience of any age. To
illustrate further, she brought a sense of respectful humour to the
light hearted, but informative drawings sprinkled throughout.
A subsequent group of Interrelate staff assembled especially for this
project, brought decades of experience to ensure that it is a valuable
resource for the entire family.
Parents!
Please keep in mind that at least one child has wanted to know the
answer to the questions we have included. Some of the questions
may make you uncomfortable because of your background, religious beliefs or your way of talking within your family. Your way of
looking at the world may be very different from the ‘asker’ in this
book. This is a good thing…it will give you the opportunity to open
discussions with your child about your views on some of the issues
raised and some of the language that is used. We have published a
list of all the questions on pages 159-66 to give you a great overview
of what you can expect in the following pages. When your children
ask about their sexuality, the more information they get, the easier
it is for them to make good decisions about their own health, hygiene and overall well being.
So we hope you enjoy,
learn some things you didn’t know before
and most importantly, that you share
some quality time with your family.
Dedication
This book is dedicated to
all our kids.
Thank you
for being so curious!
an initiative of
Strengthening Family Relationships
...since 1926
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in
any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying,
recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior
permission in writing from the publisher. The Australian Copyright Act 1968
(the Act) sets out the basis upon which an educational institution may be able
to reproduce part of this work for its educational purposes and may require that
the educational institution (or body that administers it) to provide a remuneration
notice to Copyright Agency Limited (CAL) under the Act.
Care should be taken to comply with such Act before any such reproduction.
500
questions
kids have
about
Interrelate Family Centres Limited
PO Box 6307, Baulkham Hills, NSW 1755
(02) 8882 7800
Toll free: 1300 736 966
www.interrelate.org.au
National Library of Australia
Cataloguing-in-Publication entry is available
ISBN 978-0-9775109-6-2
Co-authors: Lyndall Caldwell & Gaye Dell
Graphic Design & Illustration: Gaye Dell
© Interrelate Family Centres 2010
Design & Illustration © Gaye Dell 2010
Proudly printed in Australia
by Lyndall Caldwell & Gaye Dell
contents*
questions about...
body parts ........................................................1
puberty...........................................................37
periods ...........................................................49
wet dreams ....................................................67
relationships .................................................71
sexual intercourse........................................81
having a baby..............................................101
masturbation ..............................................129
homosexuality ............................................133
looking after yourself ................................139
Strengthening Family Relationships
...since 1926
other stuff ...................................................149
glossary .......................................................155
the questions...............................................159
trusted grown ups ......................................167
*
Please Note: A list of every question included is on pages 159—166
Questions about
4
body parts
*
1
Are boys and grils bladr the same size?
Bladders are around the same size, more or less.
are boys and
girls bladders
the same size?
All organs of the body for both girls and boys are roughly the same shape
and do the same job. Their size depends on the age and size of the person.
It is the sex organs that are so different.
2
If a boy gets a boner what do girls get?
A feeling only a girl herself can notice.
Just as boys can have an erection when they feel excited about someone, a
girl may notice that the vagina gets wetter, and a firm spot called the clitoris, may feel tingly or harder when she feels excited. The clitoris is at the
top of the vulva. No one can notice this but you. It is not obvious like a
boy’s erection.
3
How long does it take someone's pubic hairs
why are boys
born with a
penis and girls
born with a
vulva?
How come females get stretch marks on their hips.
Will they go away selulite?
Cellulite is something altogether different…
it is like dimples or dents in the skin.
Did you know males can get stretch marks too and
that they can appear on more places than your hips?
When a part of the body grows very quickly, the layers of skin sometimes find it hard to catch
up. This results in thin red lines across the skin which are called stretch marks. Some people
are more likely to get them than others. Unfortunately, there is no evidence that creams can prevent stretch marks but they usually fade to a whitish colour over time. Girls can develop them
over their breasts or hips as they grow quickly during puberty. When boys muscle-up fast, as
they mature and train hard, they may notice them too. Women sometimes get them on the abdomen or breasts during pregnancy.
Cellulite is a dimpling of the skin, like orange peel, because of the way the fat cells
line up under it. Thin people can get cellulite but it is more common in people with
extra weight. Just as with stretch marks, exercise and a healthy diet won’t
eliminate it, but it will help improve it.
if a boy gets a b
oner
what do girls ge
t?
5
Why are boys born with a penis
and girls born with a vulva?
Because they fit together…a bit like a jigsaw.
The penis on a male and the vagina on a female, are the parts of the human
body involved in getting eggs and sperm together during sexual intercourse
for reproducing (making a baby). They are different so they fit together
and the sperm will not dry out. Clever isn't it?
to grow back after the surgery?
A few weeks.
Sometimes the pubic hair needs to be shaved for abdominal surgery. As it
grows back, it may be a bit prickly for a while. It may take a couple of
months to return to what it looked like before the shave.
* Please note, all childrens’ questions have been typed exactly
as the originals, (mistakes and all), to ensure their integrity.
1
+
500 questions
Kids have about Sex
body parts
2
Questions about
puberty
wha
133
t happens
before your
period?
FALLOPIAN
TUBE
OVARY
What's ovulation or ovulate?
When a girl’s ovary sends off a ripe egg
toward the uterus (womb) she has ovulated.
PUBIC
HAIR
Ovulation is the process where an ovary releases a mature
egg into the fallopian tube which is joined to the uterus (womb).
134
UTERUS
does eight
year olds
get their
periods?
CERVIX
VAGINA
What happens to girls that haven's had their period yet
137
How many times in a month are the witsh creamy stuff
spose to come out?
138
Does tampons hurt when you wear them
and when you move around?
If a tampon is put in correctly it cannot be felt at all.
how many times
in a month is
the whitish
creamy stuff
supposed to
come out?
Most girls start their periods after their breasts have started to grow. Girls develop breasts at different ages… some start as early as 8 to 10 years and others don’t start till they are about 14 to 16
years old. Breasts can take 2 years to develop and 5 to 6 years until they reach adult size. Periods
often start sometime between the beginning of breast growth and the end. So you can see that
there is no ‘right time’ to start your periods
...only the time that is right for your body.
Does eight year olds get their periods?
Sometimes.
A small number of girls start their periods at 8 or 9 years of age. It is within the ‘normal
range’ of beginning puberty. For some girls it can be a little confusing to start her periods
when her friends are not ready yet, but this is just another way in which we are all unique.
500+ questions
Sometimes you will notice some changes in your body before you have your period. Your breasts may get a little tender, the mucus from your vagina sometimes
feels wetter and you may feel a little more moody or emotional as your hormones
change.
The mucus is made all the time, to keep the vagina and cervix healthy. It can feel
wetter and become whiter during the menstrual cycle, around the time of ovulation
(releasing the egg from the ovary). This happens about once a month. Some girls
really notice this change, but many do not.
VULVA
That is pretty normal.
37
What happens before your period?
The whitish mucus comes around ovulation,
for a few days, about once a month.
but have formed a bit of breast?
135
136
You may notice some changes in your body.
Kids have about Sex
The nerve endings around the first few centimetres of the vagina are quite sensitive to the touch, but further inside it is not so sensitive. A tampon must be inserted
right inside the vagina. If it is not in far enough, you will find them quite uncomfortable. Don’t be worried about the tampon going in too far and getting lost, you
can actually feel when it is in far enough because you can’t feel it at all. In any
case, the cervix at the end of the vagina will stop it from disappearing forever!
Some girls find pads are easier to use for the first few years because the vagina is
still growing when periods start and tampons might be harder to insert. The string
hanging out of the vagina is to pull the tampon out, after about 3 to 4 hours.
TAMPON
puberty
38
what is a period?
Questions about
174
periods
A trusted, responsible adult
who cares about you is a good place to start.
menstruation
i am 12 but I haven't
had my period yet.
am I normal?
172
What is a period?
When no baby is made,
the very, very thin lining of the uterus
is not needed so
it comes out through the vagina.
This is called a period.
When a girl reaches puberty, she starts to release eggs from her ovaries.
The uterus prepares a thick lining when this happens. If she is not having sexual relationships, the egg does not meet a sperm to make a baby,
so the thick, nourishing lining of the uterus dribbles out of the vagina for
about 5 days. It looks like blood and thicker tissue. This is menstruation
(period). Eggs are released about once a month, so this will happen about
once a month after she starts her periods.
173
Can boys get periods?
No. Boys do not get periods.
Boys do not have ovaries to release eggs or a uterus to grow a baby in,
so no, boys definitely do not have periods.
49
500+ questions
Kids have about Sex
Who should I talk to about my period?
The people to talk to, or ask questions about your periods are the ones around you who care for
you and will understand you. These may be your parents, perhaps an auntie or even family friends.
Although it is good to talk to friends about periods, and girls do this a lot as they get older, these
friends can sometimes be confused themselves or not have the answers you are looking for. Remember, periods are a normal part of a girl’s or woman’s life and it is alright to talk about them.
175
How will I know when I have my period.
My pants get wet from mucus.
How will I know the difference?
Keep checking your panties when you go to the toilet
and then you won’t have to wonder.
The colour of period blood and tissue will be red like blood or brownish. Mucus is clear, white
or yellowish in colour.
176
I am 12 but I haven't had my period yet.
Am I normal?
Yes, you are definitely normal.
Girls start their periods as young as 8, or as old as 18 years of age. Most girls start sometime between 11 and 14 years of age. It can be hard waiting and feeling different from your friends, but
it is usually just a matter of time and everything works out well in the end.
who should
I talk to about
my periperiods
od? 50
Questions about
234
wet dreams
Tell a grown-up you trust
so that you can get it checked out by a doctor.
nocturnal emissions
last week my wet
dream was red
and orange
what should I
do?
233
How many times can you get a wet dream?
do girls have
wet dreams?
was red and orange what should I do?
how many
times can
you get a
wet
dream?
If there is any change at all in the colour of a wet dream, it is important to let
a caring adult know. This is something that may need to be checked by a
doctor. After all, if you noticed that your nose started running with red, instead of clear mucus, you would mention it, wouldn’t you?
235
If girls have periods what do boys have?
Sperm that hasn’t been fertilised leaves the boys penis through ejaculation
…either inside the vagina or not.
To make a baby, two things are needed – an egg from the female and a sperm
from the male. When eggs are not used to produce a baby, the girl has a period.
When sperm are not needed to make a baby, and the male keeps producing
sperm, he can get rid of these through an ejaculation, such as in a wet dream.
236
Can girls have wet dreams?
Girls can get dreams but they are not really ‘wet’ dreams.
Girls do not make sperm and so they do not have wet dreams to get rid of the
excess sperm. She may sometimes notice a wetness from the vagina because
of the extra lubricating mucus it makes, but it is not a wet dream.
237
It varies a lot.
Last week my wet dream
Do all boys get wet dreams?
Yes, but the number of wet dreams each boy gets is different.
Wet dreams help a boy’s body to get rid of the excess sperm he produces.
Some boys have lots of wet dreams at night while other
boys have hardly any. It is not a measure of how many
sperm are being made; it’s just the body’s way of practicing
and getting rid of the excess sperm and/or semen.
67
500+ questions
Kids have about Sex
wet dreams
68
Questions about
242
relationships
241
who would you
recommend
telling you have
your periods?
I know a girl who is having problems with boys
in sexually why is that?
Unfortunately, not everyone thinks before they make comments
that affect other people’s feelings.
By the way she told me about hers
and now I feel pressured about it?
Not everyone feels at ease talking about periods especially at first
and it is certainly OK to keep your discussions with friends
at a level that makes you comfortable.
Some girls are very excited when they start their periods and feel very comfortable
talking about them to their friends. Others are not so at ease. If you’re a little uncomfortable, explain that you don't want to talk about them although it has absolutely nothing to do with your friendship. You are just feeling a little pressured…it
will probably help them understand how you feel a little more. A good friend will
try to understand.
243
Who would you recommend telling you have your periods?
Whomever you trust
…and/or loves you!
The best person to talk to is someone in your family who can advise you, help
you choose and buy you the necessary pads…and answer all your questions.
This might be your Mum, Aunty, older sister, Gran etc. Even Dads know a lot
about periods. If you’re at school and need some help with it, tell one of the
grown-ups you feel most comfortable with…maybe your home room teacher?
Girls often start developing earlier than a lot of boys do. Sometimes,
when girls start growing breasts and wider, curvier hips, boys can make
silly comments. This can be embarrassing and upsetting for girls.
244
Girls: you should tell boys that you don’t like it...and if they don’t listen, you should tell a grown-up about it.
It is the most intimate sharing but should be entered into with the understanding that there is a possibility that a baby can be a result of it. It also can feel very
good with the right person.
Boys: you should think about what you say and the effect that it has
on other’s feelings.
Remember neither girls or boys have the right to make comments about
someone else’s body or sexuality if it embarrasses them.
71
why do people
have sex?
Should I tell my friends I have my period or keep it to myself?
500+ questions
ds
n
e
i
r
f
y
m
ll
e
t
I
should
r
o
d
o
i
r
e
p
y
m
I have
lf?
keep it to myse
Kids have about Sex
Why do people have sex?
Sexual intercourse is a way of expressing love between two people
and is a way to make a baby.
relationships
72
Questions about
sexual intercourse
What is it?
why do you have s
ex more
than once to have a
baby?
267
For some people, like nuns and priests, their life choice is to never have sex. Other people decide
it is only going to occur in certain circumstances, like marriage. What is most important is that the
choice is completely yours and not someone else's. Remember, it is really hard to make good
choices when you have had some alcohol or drugs, so keep control of yourself so that YOU decide (with a very clear mind) whether you are going to avoid sex…or not.
268
how does the
penis know
what hole to
go into?
264
Why is it called sex?
Sex is a shortened form of 'Sexual intercourse".
265
How did sex start?
This is a question that has been asked throughout history
…the answer is dependent on cultural, religious and scientific beliefs.
266
Is it healthy to have sex?
Yes… at the right age… with the right person!
Sex can be a very healthy way to show your love for someone. There are many benefits to your
well-being. There are laws that say it needs to be consensual (each partner agrees to have sex together) and they also need to be old enough.
81
500+ questions
Kids have about Sex
How do you avoid sex?
The choice to be involved in sexual activity is yours and no-one else's.
You can avoid it by deciding that you don’t want it.
How do the sperm get out if the man is a virgin?
Sperm come out in wet dreams or through masturbation
whether a man is a virgin or not.
If sperm are not used for sexual intercourse, it can leave the penis in a wet dream, or when a boy
masturbates. Most just die off and dissolve in the testicles. A virgin is someone who has not had
sexual intercourse (sex) and the sperm can come out without having sex.
269
Why do you have sex more than once to have a baby?
Because people enjoy having sex, and if the timing is right, it can also make a baby.
Making love, (sexual intercourse), is a way of showing love for one another. Because pregnancy
can only occur for a short time each month, couples may have sex lots of times before the sperm
and egg meet to make a baby. Other times they may have sex only once to make a baby…it all
depends on timing.
270 How does the penis know what hole to go into?
When sexual intercourse occurs, the penis is put into the woman's vagina
…that’s the middle one!
The much smaller, rigid opening above this is the opening of the urethra where urine (wee) comes
from and cannot expand or stretch. The penis simply would not fit in there . The anus is where
faeces (pooh) comes from and a woman would know if the penis was put there.
sex?
d
i
o
v
a
u
o
y
o
d
w
ho
sexual intercourse
82
Questions about
how do
you
have a
baby?
343
having a baby
Why do some babies die at birth or in the uterus?
There can be many reasons babies die either in the uterus or at birth. When something is
wrong with the baby and it can’t develop any further or when an infection overcomes it, are
just two examples.
When the baby dies in the uterus, or womb, before s/he is 20 weeks old, it is called a ‘miscarriage’ or ‘spontaneous abortion’. When a baby dies after 20 weeks or at birth, it is called
a ‘still birth’. There are so many reasons that this can happen, that some of the time, even
doctors are unsure of the cause. Almost always when a baby is lost, it is a very sad time for
the mother and father regardless of the length of the pregnancy. Some Mums and Dads of
children lost this way, have a private ceremony to say ‘good bye’ to their baby.
344
341
How do you have a baby?
You make a baby when a man’s sperm and a woman’s egg
join. You have a baby when the uterus pushes the fully grown baby
into the stretchy vagina and it comes out between the mother’s legs.
why do some
women die
when they
are having
babies?
A baby is formed when the sperm from a man combines with the ovum (egg) from
a woman. This is called fertilisation. The baby grows inside the woman’s uterus
(womb) for around 9 months and when it is ready to be born, the uterus squeezes,
then pushes the baby down into the vagina. Luckily, the vagina is quite stretchy and
the baby comes out between the mother’s legs. A brand new person is born.
342
How large do they cut the woman's stomach
in the caesarean?
Depends on the doctor of course, and it is the uterus that is cut, not the stomach.
The size of the scar varies greatly because they only cut as much as they need to
get the baby out safely. The size of the cut is determined by the reason for the operation and where the baby is positioned.
Sometimes medical specialists decide that the baby will best be born using a caesarean section. This is done in a hospital and the doctor cuts open the abdominal
muscles (tummy), and then the uterus, and takes the baby out. The Mum is then
stitched up and will have a little scar on her lower abdomen. Caesarean births happen when the baby is breech ( baby facing bottom or sideways towards the vagina)
or when a Mum or her baby is not well. Incidentally, the Mum cannot feel this
happening as she is given an anaesthetic, and, she may be awake! Cool, eh?
101
500+ questions
Kids have about Sex
Why do some women die when they are having a baby?
Fortunately, in Australia, a very, very small number of women die
from complications during pregnancy or from the birth.
It happens every now and then though. Along with
the months of pregnancy, having a baby puts a lot
of stress on a woman's body. Blood loss from a
placenta when it detaches itself from the uterus
is one of the causes of a woman not surviving the
birth of her baby. We are very fortunate here
in Australia to have very good medical facilities
to deal with these complications. In some other
countries many women die in childbirth (or
shortly after) from infections because they
do not have access to such good medical
facilities as we do.
e
how large do they cut th
ethea ca
woman's stomach inhaving
baby 102
sarean?
Questions about
masturbation
431
What is backing up?
They are saying that their sperm is “backing up”.
But it is not true!
This can be an excuse some men use to convince someone to have sex with them. Don't fall for this one. If
a male does not lose his sperm in sexual intercourse, he can lose it by masturbating or in wet dreams . Even
if he does none of those things, the sperm get reabsorbed into the body after a few months of being stored
in the testicles. There is absolutely no harm to his health if he abstains (doesn’t have any) from sex!
432
Are there side effects to mastorbation?
how do girls wank?
No, provided you remember your hygiene. In some cultures masturbation is considered normal,
but in others it not acceptable
…better check with your family on this one.
Masturbation is the touching of the genital area
to feel satisfying and pleasant.
As long as hands are clean and the penis or vaginal areas are not getting sore,
there is no harm done to the body through masturbation.
There is nothing harmful about touching yourself,
but it is unacceptable to do this anywhere in a public
place as it would make people uncomfortable or scared.
433
428
429
What is masturbation?
How do girls wank?
’Wanking’ is another name for ‘masturbation’;
girls do it by by touching their own genitals.
Girls masturbate by touching the vulva, vagina
or around the very sensitive clitoris, in the genital area.
430 Is it OK to masterbate to your favourite movie?
There is no harm in it, but it should be in private.
Sometimes, watching an exciting movie can bring about interesting feelings.
There is no harm in masturbating while watching a movie, provided you and
the screen are in a completely private place like a bedroom.
129
what is
masturbation?
I read that if guys in Uni don't have sex they back up.
500+ questions
Kids have about Sex
What is the reason for masturbation?
Masturbation makes people feel good.
People touch themselves for the pleasurable feelings they get. Masturbation generally ends up with an orgasm which is a satisfying sexual sensation.
434
How do boys get pleasure without a girl?
is it OK to masturba
te to
your favourite movie
?
Boys don’t necessarily need female company to enjoy sport, music, computer games, reading and masturbation.
Masturbation is perfectly normal if it happens in private.
masturbation
130
Questions about
445
homosexuality
Yes. We all have sexual preferences.
Is it alright to be gay?
A gay (homosexual) person, either male or female, is a person, and therefore deserves all the respect and rights that every other person has. Some people in our society may have strong views
on homosexuality, but no one has the right to insult or abuse any other person, because of their
sexual preferences. Homosexuality has occurred throughout history, in all cultures, religions,
economic levels and professions.
446
Is it ok if you kiss another boy if you are a boy?
If the kissing is OK by both people, then it is alright.
Sometimes boys experiment to see what it feels like to kiss another boy. Girls experiment too. Most
people kiss and hug their parents, friends, aunties, grandmas, and other special people in their lives.
This does not mean more than showing them they love them. However, when two people kiss more
intimately, it is private and therefore, best in a private place, regardless of their sexual preference.
443
Is it OK to be a lesbian because I am.
Your sexual preference is no one’s business but your own,
but it’s good to keep your mind open to all possibilities until you are grown up.
A lot of young people are attracted to members of their own gender (same sex
as you are) and this is a normal part of growing up. Girls usually want to hang
out with girlfriends, and boys with their mates, a lot of the time. This doesn’t
mean that they have sexual feelings for them. Some people are attracted to
members of their own gender, both physically and emotionally, and this is
called homosexuality. Everyone is different. It is important to be true to yourself and to be respected by others.
447
What are two girls called when they are having sex?
’Gay’, ‘lesbian’ or ‘homosexual’ are the words used to describe sex between two females.
When two girls are attracted to each other and it involves sexual activity it can mean that they are
gay, lesbian or homosexual. It is also quite common and normal for young people to be attracted to their friends and whilst hugging friends it is possible to become aroused and experiment in different sexual activities. This may not necessarily mean they are gay, however.
448
What is a lesbeain?
how do gay people
have sex?
A lesbian is a female who is attracted to other females sexually.
444
If two men have sex why can't a baby be produced?
They are missing half of the formula!
Men can only produce sperm, and not eggs.
A baby can only start if a sperm joins with a egg (which are only
made by females). A baby also needs the uterus (again only
females have them) to settle in while it does its growing.
If two men have sex, the conditions are not there to make
and grow a baby.
133
what is a lesbean?
+
500 questions
Kids have about Sex
Some other names are ‘homosexuality’ or ‘being gay’.
449
How do gay people have sex?
Gay people (same gender) enjoy sexual expression like heterosexual people
(male and female), except for penis/vaginal intercourse.
Homosexual expressions of love may include kissing, hugging, touching each other’s genitals, as
well as oral sex and/or anal intercourse.
is it alright to be gay?
homosexuality 134
Questions about
460 My cousin is going out with a 24 year old and she's only 13
looking
after
yourself!
A big age gap like this can often be a worry,
like it seems to be for you, as her friend.
my cousin is going out
with a 24 year old and
she's only 13
459
Someone in this grade asked me
As people get older, age difference becomes less of a problem, but usually a girl of 13
has very different life experiences than a 24 year old. Finding things in common to talk
about may be difficult, even their choice of music is probably really different. An adult
man is allowed to drink, watch a different category of movie and has more freedom in
the hours he is out than a young girl. He may be taking her to areas where there are a
lot of adult men and women, parties where there is no one of her own age to have fun
with or talk to. His expectations regarding the relationship and attitude towards sex
could put her in a very difficult and uncomfortable position, (remember, in most Australian states, having sex with a girl under 16 is illegal). It would be good talk to her
about your concerns and talk to your family to see what they think about it too.
461
Should I use deodorant "down there"?
No, not ‘down there’.
Deodorants are designed to slow down sweating under the armpits only. If used in the
genital area, ‘down there’ they can cause irritation and soreness. It might also upset the
natural balance of organisms that live in the genital area and allow infections to develop.
It is better to keep clean and smelling normal so wash yourself with gentle soap and
water. (And, always change your undies).
to have sex with them,
462
and this person is a girl.
Pornography is showing explicit sexual behavior.
No it is not suitable for 12 year olds
…in fact there are laws that protect 12 year olds from ‘porn’.
What should I do because I don’t want to.
And I am a girl.
If you don’t want to, then don’t. And remember, you
don’t have to give anyone a reason for not wanting to either.
You do not have to have sexual contact with any person at all if you do not want to. You always
have the right to keep your body for yourself. The minimum legal age that anyone can have sexual contact in most states in Australia is 16. Learning to say “no” in a way that someone understands that you mean it, is a part of growing up. You may be asked to do many things that you
don’t want to do (like drugs, for instance), so the sooner you are able to say “no”, the better.
139
what is porn?
500+ questions
Kids have about Sex
What is porn? Is it suitable for 12 year olds?
should I
use
deodorant
“down there”?
Porn is short for ‘pornography’. It can occur as writing in books and magazines or visual material like movies or on the Internet. It focuses on explicit sexual behaviour. It
can be very upsetting to young people so to protect them from being frightened or confused by such material, there are laws that rate the content and prevent the sale of it to
people under a certain age. Pornography often shows unusual activities and bodies, and
is more often than not, disrespectful.
looking after yourself 140
Questions about
489 What does bi-sexual mean?
other stuff!
When a person is attracted to both genders (male and female)
they are said to be bi-sexual.
490 Kan you get nits in your pubic hair?
Yes, you can get pubic nits and lice.
487
Did you go to a school to learn this kinda stuff?
We are definitely trained especially in sexuality education.
Every day Interrelate Educators talk to children in primary schools about
their sexuality. In fact we were the very first organisation in all of Australia to talk about sexuality all the way back in 1926! Along with those
years and years of experience and all the information handed down about
what children like you want to know, your school education team is specially trained and the best qualified to help. They teach you about your
sexual development and have some very interesting and fun ways of
helping you understand—and talk—about the changes you go through
during puberty!
488 Is it possible to have a sex change?
How?
can males be
virgins??
It is possible but it is really difficult.
…and is not done without a lot of counselling with medical experts.
A sex change involves changing the hormones/chemicals that the body
needs to look male or female. This is very hard to do and takes a long
time. It changes the appearance of a person. When a man takes female
hormones, he may grow breasts and have less body hair, etc. and a
woman can become more muscular and develop a deeper voice if she
takes male hormones. To keep the changed appearance, the person needs
to keep taking the hormones. To change the genitals, surgery is required.
It is a very complicated operation.
149
500+ questions
Kids have about Sex
is it possible
to have a
sex change?
how?
Nits (or lice) live in hair, especially head hair. Most boys and girls have experienced these itchy
crawlers at some time. They are very easily caught from contact with someone who has them.
Pubic lice, (scabies or crabs), however, are a different kind of lice that love the warm moist pubic
hair area. They cause intense itching in the pubic hair and nits or eggs can actually be seen on the
pubic hair. One way they can spread is when a person who has pubic lice has sexual contact with
another person. They can also be caught from sheets or towels that have been used by people with
the pubic lice. Treatment with special shampoos gets rid of them from your body, but the towels
and sheets have to be washed in VERY hot water to get rid of the little pests.
491
Do ladies like the taste of sperm?
Some do, some don’t mind and some just don’t.
Not everyone likes the same kind of food, so how one finds the taste of sperm is an individual
thing. Sperm is not harmful to a lady if it is swallowed.
492
Can males be virgins?
Absolutely.
did you go to a school
to learn this kind of
stuff?
A virgin is someone who has not had sex…male or female.
other stuff 150
First stop: Mum and Dad
I
I
500
Second stop:
Australian children asked
...so we answered!
This is a valuable resource
for all the family and will help
both children and parents begin
talking about a subject that can
sometimes be a little tricky.
questions
kids have
about
We’ve supplied the information so you can enjoy those conversations!
Congratulations
on the development of this important and much
needed resource for parents, children and sex educators. The layout and
format is attractive and quirky enough to be attractive to kids, while the
information is both accurate and clearly expressed.
I will definitely recommend this to sex educators and parents.
Dr Patricia Weerakoon, Director, Graduate Program in Sexual Health
Faculty of Health Science, The University of Sydney
WINNER of the World Association of Sexual Health award
for Excellence and Innovation in Sexuality Education 2009
Strengthening Family Relationships
...since 1926
ISBN 978-0-9775109-6-2
$29.95
Proudly written, illustrated and printed in Australia