HOW TO HANDLE NUTTER BUTTERS A person can be hurt in the head. This can happen from an accident or injury, post-traumatic stress disorder, drug or alcohol use, an infection, or Systeming by Department of Defense “Potentials Initiative” agents who call themselves “CiA” although they did not make the cut. Since US mental health hospitals were closed in the 1980s, there are no long-term hospital options. Instead, here are approaches to allow you to get along with a head hurt person safely, lifelong. When a member of your family develops bipolar or another disorder, often they may not wish to take antibiotics, give up drugs, exercise, change diet, seek counseling or do other things to restore themselves to homeostasis health. Here are some tips on how to handle a mentally ill friend or relative long term. 1) Allow the person to live alone in a place with support. A Best Western can cost as little as $30 per night, and offers breakfast plus maid service. The person can isolate, read, watch TV, and use the pool or Jacuzzi. Stress there is low. 2) Make sure the person can watch TV or listen to their headphones all day. Make a YouTube playlist of songs the person might love. It will be a peacemaker. Listening to Enya will turn their emotions to love. 3) Try to get him to the doctor for a full physical. All their symptoms could be caused by a blood sugar issue or an infection. A good diet or antibiotics could make them better. Also antiworm medication for autistic/Asperger’s symptoms may be very helpful. Grave’s Disease, Multiple Sclerosis, and even flu symptoms overlap with bipolar ones. 4) Limit illegal drug use as much as possible. If they are willing to go to a rehab facility, they can do talk therapy and wean off drugs and alcohol. Cottonwoods in Arizona (for addiction) and Menniger’s in Texas (for personality disorders in high achievers) are well recommended. 5) Don’t talk more than a little. Try to not to boss the person. Just send him one email or text message per day. Limit it to three sentences max if you can. Finish each request with a question mark? 6) Don’t try to reason with the person. Instead, improvise. Whatever he wants, say “Yes and…” to. Try to follow it up with a reasonable idea. 1 WBL Publishing © 2014 7) You are parent now, not lover. They’ll find their own. 8) No children around this person, if possible. He or she is the baby. 9) If you have children together, they can live in the middle at a relative’s home. This is called nesting. Mommy visits when daddy’s not there, and daddy visits when mommy’s not there. If the children live with you, you can leave when your nutter butter visits, so long as you have a nanny, family member, or relative present. Then you can run errands, go to yoga, or get a massage. Try to do something daily to take care of you too. 10) If you feel threatened by the person, try to live with family or friends, so you feel protected. Don’t reveal your address. Have your bills sent to a PO Box. Avoid in-person meetings or phone conversations with your lover/stalker. 11) Visit once per week with a strong male if you can. Bring their favorite foods, especially fatty foods like meat, mayo, fish, anything they’ll enjoy. Find out if they need anything else. You may also wish to bring fresh laundry, an inspirational book or magazine, and cash. Just $100 per week may be enough for them if you bring groceries they like. 12) If you can’t visit the person, try to Skype daily or weekly. 13) If you were married to the person, make sure you split the money 50/50 as of a date before filing for divorce. That will negate any animosity. 14) You can’t expect a hurt head to reasonably handle money, so you probably will be handling the person’s finances entirely. Social Security and/or Disability Insurance may be enough to cover the person’s expenses if they get close to $2,000 per month. This can be deposited into a joint account you handle. You may need to transfer their funds into another account as soon as they arrive, or the nutter could withdraw them and then have them stolen. It’s not unusual for a homeless person to have his wallet taken from him. It’s possible the person could have bipolar and/or borderline personality disorder. Below please see a list of symptoms for each. They overlap. Bipolar 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. Accusatory, self-blaming thoughts Aggressive driving Anger Argues or bosses others Blames others for own mistakes or inappropriate behavior Bosses others 2 WBL Publishing © 2014 7. Depressed, sad or very irritable; cannot be "cheered up" (dysphoria: anxiety and depression at the same time) Excessive anxiety or worry Excessive distress when separated from family Exhibits inappropriate sexual humor and behavior Extremely controlling Hallucination Has made clear threats of suicide Has periods of excessive, rapid speech Has short rages Hypersensitive to noise, light, stress Impulsive Inability to see problems caused by own actions; problems typically attributed to someone or something else Inflated self-concepts of power, greatness, importance (grandiosity) Irritable, critical, argumentative, stubborn Is easily angered when people set limits Is intolerant of delays Is willful and refuses to be subordinated Lies to avoid consequences of actions Makes threats against others or self Recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal thoughts, suicidal plans Refusal to accept the possibility that something may be "wrong" with thinking or behavior Relentlessly pursues own needs Withdrawal and isolation: no desire to talk, interact, socialize 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 3 A switch between idealizing and demonizing others Affective distress Anxiety disorders Black-and-white thinking or splitting Chaotic and unstable interpersonal relationships with family, friends, and co-workers Dissociative disorders Extreme sensitivity to the way others treat them, reacting strongly to perceived criticism or hurtfulness Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment Highly reactive mood (irritability, anxiety, or dysphoria lasting a few hours to a few days) Idealization and devaluation episodes Impulsive behaviors are common, including alcohol or drug abuse, promiscuous and intense sexuality, gambling, and other recklessness Inability to recognize the existence of other personalities despite their obvious presence Inappropriate anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger) WBL Publishing © 2014 14. Increased levels of chronic stress and conflict in romantic relationships, decreased satisfaction of romantic partners, abuse and unwanted pregnancy 15. Insecure attachment styles (fearful, preoccupied, unresolved) 16. Instability in mood 17. Lack of affection 18. Lack of embarrassment 19. Lack of emotional intelligence 20. Lack of guilt 21. Manipulation and deceit are viewed as common features of BPD 22. Marked impulsivity 23. May show lability (changeability) between anger and anxiety or between depression and anxiety and temperamental sensitivity to emotive stimuli 24. Men are less likely to display emotions and usually switch to another personality in subtle, inconspicuous ways 25. Mood disorders (including clinical depression and bipolar disorder) – the large majority, estimated to be around 96% of hospitalized borderlines, have a mood disorder 26. No interest in improving personal well-being despite overwhelming lifestyle 27. Non-recognition or sense of disreality when looking in the mirror 28. Ongoing family interactions and associated vulnerabilities can lead to self-destructive behavior 29. Poor understanding of jokes, irony, false pretenses, figurative speech 30. Self-harming 31. Self-image can also change rapidly from extremely positive to extremely negative 32. Strong and long-lasting states of aversive tension, often triggered by perceived rejection, being alone or perceived failure 33. Strong feeling of responsibility, even for things over which he has no control 34. Substance abuse, especially alcoholism 35. Suicidal speech and suicide attempts (10% successful) 36. Tendency to believe in the supernatural 37. Tendency to be overwhelmed by life in one of the most depressed personalities 38. The negative emotional states specific to BPD fall into four categories: destructive or selfdestructive feelings; extreme feelings in general; feelings of fragmentation or lack of identity; and feelings of victimization 39. Their feelings about others often shift from positive to negative, generally after a disappointment or perceived threat of abandonment or of losing someone 40. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation, delusions or severe dissociative symptoms 41. Without treatment, symptoms may worsen, leading (in extreme cases) to suicide attempts Source: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition Note: Heavy long-term alcohol use can cause encephalopathy, as well as frontal lobe and limbic damage, leading to BPD behavior. Systeming by Department of Defense “Potential Initiative” agents to make your family member a Manchurian Candidate and Stonelayer prostitute, can also cause BPD? If not, why do so many people who look like Clinton, act like Primary Colors? These symptoms wear off after age 50 years, when your Systemed Man does not run for government and is set free. Ages 35-47 are the most difficult. 4 WBL Publishing © 2014 A psychiatrist, psychologist, or minister will have more advice for handling challenging family members. Threats of death can be quite common from those hurt in the head. Please take them seriously. It is not normal to talk about killing. If someone says he is thinking about killing you, it could happen. As Ruiz said, first there is the thought, then the word, then the deed. There are no long-term mental health care facilities, as they were closed in the Reagen Era. Jail costs the government less, since therapy is not offered to prisoners. Now mentally ill people are either there, fighting-it-out with their families, or homeless (as their families may not be able to cope with their threats and lack of reality). It is very stressful to be in relationship life-long with someone who abuses, uses fear, and even force to control those around him, all in order to reinforce an ill view of the world. Relaxation strategies are important for you, as well as your nutter. These are detailed in the book, 110%, found in the eStore at whitebrightlight.com.) Word count: 1,601 Date: 7 November 2013 Revised: 17 August 2014 To reprint this article, please contact [email protected]. Price: $1,250 5 WBL Publishing © 2014