Five More Keys to Better Writing: How to Craft Strong Sentences
Chapter 14 Five More Keys to Better Writing: How to Craft Strong Sentences and Paragraphs “Good writing is conspicuous by its absence. Even if you can’t describe what it is, you know it when you don’t see it, when what you’re reading is tedious or blah or hard to follow. Good writing is writing that works. It makes sense. It’s both comfy and elegant. It says just enough and no more. It has manners, not mannerisms. Good writing has all the right words — and not too many of them — in all the right places. — Patricia T. O’Conner N ow that you know the first five keys to better writing, we’ll build upon them with five more. Just like the first set, these will help ensure your writing is efficient, your ideas are clear... and editors will be eager to buy your stories. So far, you need to remember: 33Replace “to be” and “to have” with verbs that are more active and more descriptive. 33Choose words that are short, specific, and common. 33Use fewer words. 33Express one idea in one sentence. www.thetravelwriterslife.com 201 33Say what you mean. In those first five keys, we focused on choosing the right words and on writing effective sentences. In the next five, we’ll continue to focus on sentences and then move on to paragraphs and to the overall structure of your piece. Here, as in the previous chapter, I’ve included examples after each secret to illustrate that point and exercises for you to complete. At the end of the chapter, you’ll find an answer key with a set of corrected exercises. Key #6: Speak Directly and Personally to Your Reader The best way to ensure that you’re always writing readable articles is to write the way you speak. We discussed this in the last chapter when we focused on choosing words that are short, specific, and common. We’ll consider it again here because it’s one of the most important things you can do to improve your writing. The best way to ensure you’re speaking directly and personally to your reader is to eliminate passive voice from everything you write. Don’t panic. I know it sounds an awful lot like a grammar directive. And I know I promised earlier that I would leave the grammar to the sixth-grade teachers. But bear with me... this is not complicated, and it makes a world of difference in how successful your writing will be. (I did not pull this discussion of passive voice together by myself. For your benefit, I’ve borrowed the diagnosis and the cures from Dr. Thomas Murawski, a long-time advocate for clear writing. He has graciously given me his permission to use them here.) The best way to ensure that you’re always writing readable articles is to write the way you speak. To eliminate passive voice, of course, you have to know how to find it... 202 The Ultimate Travel Writer’s Program How to Spot Passive Voice If you can ask “By whom?” or “By what?” after the verb, then the verb is in the passive voice. Example: The car was driven by Megan. The car was driven by whom? Megan. That sentence is in passive voice. Example: The majority of tourists, relying on the information in the brochures, had been led to believe that the best place to eat was right there on the pier at the obtrusive fish place with the neon sign. The tourists had been led to believe that by what? The information in the brochures. That sentence is in passive voice. A sure sign of passive voice: Any form of the verb “to be” — PLUS — The past participle of a main verb. Examples of verbs in passive voice: was carried were removed must be reserved has been lost will be located Example: The baggage was carried to the room by the bell boy. (Passive voice.) Example: There is nothing more frustrating on a trip than discovering that your luggage has been lost. (Passive voice.) Four Easy Ways to Banish Passive Voice Fortunately, it’s not difficult to eliminate passive voice from your writing. Below are four sure-fire ways to make sure your sentences are passive-free and therefore easier to read and more effective. To eliminate passive voice: www.thetravelwriterslife.com 203 1. Use “you”...and passive voice disappears. Talk to your reader. Good hotel recommendations are to be found at the tourist office at the top of the hill. You will find ^ good hotel recommendations are to be found at the tourist office at the top of the hill. 2. Put the actor before the verb. When deadlines are met by the writers, they are paid on time by the editors. the writers meet When ^ deadlines are met by the writers, they are paid on time by the pay them on time editors ^. 3. Delete part of the verb. The school was opened ten years ago. The school was opened ten years ago. 4. Use a different verb. Our conversation will be kept confidential. remain Our conversation will be kept ^ confidential. In his article about Panama’s Bocas del Toro, for example, John Mitchell uses active voice in this lead paragraph and throughout his article (Caribbean Travel & Life, October 2000, page 70). It’s a kidney-pounding ride aboard the high-powered water taxi that leaves Almirante on the Panamanian mainland. The trip takes 45 minutes and through most of it, the middle-aged American woman sitting next to me is clenching the boat’s gunwale, eyes tightly shut. A squall comes out of nowhere to engulf the boat and we’re suddenly blinded by sheets of 204 The Ultimate Travel Writer’s Program rain. When the deluge finally lifts, we’re gliding cross a glassy green sea at sunset, past low-slung mangroves toward our destination: the town of Bocas del Toro on the tip of Isla Colon. Also in this selection from a hotel review published in the December 2000 issue of Caribbean Travel & Life (page 94), the writer speaks directly to his reader using “you” and banishing passive voice. Accra Beach Hotel and Resort boasts a handsome stock of all the above on Accra Beach, the prettiest on the south coast. You’ll receive your first helping of hospitality at the registration desk, where staff attitudes are as sunny and welcoming as the broad-arched view of the Caribbean’s endless blue waters, which are visible from the lobby. Below are eight sentences that need improving. How? Use “you,” put the actor before the verb, delete part of the verb, or use a different verb entirely. Practice 6: Speak Directly and Personally to Your Reader Improve these sentences by rewriting them to eliminate the passive voice: 1. More artistic masterpieces can be found within the neighborhood of the Prado Museum than anywhere else. 2. Breathtaking seascapes and exotic tropical landscapes are offered by Palm Island Resort for the discriminating traveler to indulge in and behold. 3. Opportunities for challenging tours, treks, and hikes for naturelovers — not to mention awe-inspiring views — are offered by Pico Duarte, the highest peak in the Caribbean. 4. In shipboard spas, the finest in European-style treatments can be experienced while cruising the world. 5. Particular attention has been lavished on the Silver State’s range of accommodations. 6. It’s more likely to be upgraded by a reservations agent to an empty suite at 8 p.m. than at 4 p.m. when bookings are still coming in. www.thetravelwriterslife.com 205 7. I was met at the dock by Caesar Banks, a grizzled gentleman of great humor and considerable presence. 8. Undisturbed beaches and historic sites waiting to be explored will be delighted in. Now, go back and get that paragraph you wrote as part of your assignment at the end of the last chapter. You wrote it with the first five keys to good writing in mind. Now, I want you to revise it applying the additional keys you’ll learn in this chapter. Start with this first one. Make sure that in every sentence you’re speaking directly to your reader. The first order of business? Eliminate any passive voice you see. Remember — you now know four easy ways to do that: 1. Use “you.” 2. Put the actor before the verb. 3. Delete part of the verb. 4. Use another verb. Key #7: Keep Subjects and Verbs Together lways try to keep your subject and verb close to one another. A A short break between the two won’t stop a reader, but too much space will invariably leave him confused. The subject and verb here are too far apart... The hotel managers typically (subject), when approached by a writer interested in getting a free room for a night, want to see (verb) credentials and a letter of assignment. The subject and verb are together... The hotel managers (subject) typically want to see (verb) credentials and a letter of assignment when approached by a writer interested in getting a free room for a night. 206 The Ultimate Travel Writer’s Program The subject and verb here are too far apart... Editors (subject) at large magazines, when they deal with many writers and can pick articles from a pool of experienced, proven contributors who already have made a name for themselves, tend to ignore (verb) queries from first-time writers. The subject and verb are together... Editors (subject) at large magazines tend to ignore (verb) queries from first-time because writers ^ when they deal with many writers and can pick articles from a pool of experienced, proven contributors who already have made a name for themselves. Always try to keep your subject and verb close to one another. A short break between the two won’t stop a reader, but too much space will invariably leave him confused. In the two examples that follow, the writers are careful to keep their 14 subjects and verbs close to one another. As a result, you never stumble over a sentence. In Rich Rubin’s article about Port Antonio, Jamaica (Caribbean Travel & Life, September 2000, page 42), the sentences are clear and crisp. Port Antonio itself (the resorts lie outside of town) is shambling, lovable, and slightly down-at-the-heels. And no burgeoning A-list tourism is likely to change that. This town is for the traveler who doesn’t need boutiques and postcard stands. It’s still possible here to have lunch in a place where you’re the only non-Jamaican. This lead from Mark Miller’s review of the Mission Inn (National Geographic Traveler, September 2000, page 46) engages you immediately. In part, that’s because the sentences, with their subjects and verbs close to one another, are easy to read. Riverside, not Palm Springs, was once California’s premier desert getaway, and everybody who was anybody — presidents, royals, movie stars, moguls, and divas — stayed at the Mission Inn, which opened in 1902. (Bogart tied the knot here once, Bette Davis, twice.) A recent 55-milliondollar restoration made everything old new again but did not diminish the www.thetravelwriterslife.com 207 romantic aura of the hacienda-style décor that seduced me the very moment I opened the carved wooden door to my memorable room. The truth is, keeping your subjects and verbs close together is important not simply because it makes your sentences more readable. It also helps ensure that you’re putting important information in the right place. You see, a sentence has two strong parts — the beginning and the end. And you want to make sure you’re putting the emphasis, the important information, at one end or the other. When you string too many words — that is, too much information — between a subject and verb, your reader spends so much time holding his breath, waiting to see where you’re going with your sentence, that he misses all that good stuff in-between. To me, a sentence resembles one of those rope-suspended footbridges you’ll sometimes encounter when you’re hiking on a park trail. On either end, you find strong pilings that hold up firmly planted pillars. In between, however, is a wobbly, wood-bottomed bridge. When you’re dealing with a relatively short expanse, you can see the other side, and you can walk across without too much lurching and even enjoy the view. But when you find one of these bridges strung across a gorge, the far side looks hazy, and the walk is invariably unstable and nerve-racking. You just want to get to the other side... never mind the scenery. It’s the same with a sentence. When your subject and verb are relatively close together, your reader can see across the information you’ve inserted between them, and the sentence, like the bridge, holds up just fine. However, when you separate your subject and verb with too much information, the middle of your sentence begins to sag, just like one of those bridges. Your reader has to lurch from one end to the other. And he misses all the good stuff you’ve included in the middle. When you keep your subject and verb relatively close to one another, however, you’ll be forced to put all that “other” information either in the beginning or 208 The Ultimate Travel Writer’s Program at the end of your sentence. And that’s where it should be — right where the reader will notice it. The writers of the following sentences were lax in applying this key. Rework their sentences to move the subjects and verbs closer to one another and create sentences that are infinitely more readable and put important information where readers will see it. Practice 7: Keep Subjects and Verbs Together Improve these sentences by putting the subjects closer to the verbs. 1. Puerto Plata, comprising several seaside hotels offering a full array of water sports as well as gourmet dining and casino gambling, is ideal for those who appreciate modern amenities. 2. Portland, almost a three-hour drive from Kingston and the nearest major airport (only small planes head to local Ken Jones Airport), is the most isolated of Jamaica’s tourist zones. 3. Anegada, a low, flat slab of limestone, sand, and arid scrub forest, is a desert compared to the other BVIs, which are rocky, mountainous, and heavily forested. 4. The artist, expert in the restoration of damaged oil paintings, the refinishing of antique furniture, and the renovation of old homes, was, in fact, trained in sculpture. 5. Our dinner by candlelight, accompanied with good wine, four interesting and well-prepared courses, and smiling, attentive service was a standout. 6. The conversation, lively and spirited in this very cosmopolitan and quite sophisticated, well-traveled group, proved a joy. 7. I would say that the tour, though an excellent way to get a quick overview of Belize and well worth the tariff charged, would have been better had we been exposed to more expatriates and heard their views. 8. If expecting a tour including gourmet meals, five-star hotels, and sightseeing centered on fine museums and elegant shopping, this is not for you. www.thetravelwriterslife.com 209 Now, once again, revisit the paragraph you wrote at the end of the last chapter. Are your subjects and verbs close to one another? Do you stumble on any sentences? If so, rework them so that you eliminate any long-distance reading that might be required between subject and verb. Key #8: Write Sentences That Look Back Early As I’ve said before, your writing must keep your reader moving forward from one sentence to the next. You don’t want to give him cause to stop reading. Give a reader any excuse to look away from the page... and he’ll take it. Your sentences should nudge your reader along from one to the next. Some writers do this very well. And when you read their work, you find yourself enthralled, turning pages and salivating for more. But no matter how talented a writer may be, this forward motion comes not from some special, indefinable gift, but because he or she writes seamless transitions. You can too. Sentences that propel a reader forward are sentences that, as Dr. Murawski puts it, “look back early.” I think of it this way: Your sentences should function together like a wellpracticed relay team. One sentence has to hand off the baton to the next without stumbling. How? Just as the second and third and fourth runners on a team stand poised with an arm outstretched behind and a head cocked over a shoulder, so should each of your sentences take a glance back to that which preceded it. Your second sentence should echo a thought in your first. Likewise, your third sentence should echo your second. And this echo, this link to the sentence that precedes it, should come early in the sentence. How do you make sure your sentences are “looking back early?” 210 The Ultimate Travel Writer’s Program That’s easy. Here are five ways you can link one sentence to the next: 1. A repeated word Example: It’s no wonder that the place is abuzz about a Hollywood connection to the sale of a local island. Navy Island, 64 verdant acres just a three-minute boat-ride from town, is being purchased by Louis Gossett Jr. 2. A synonym Example: B ut Australia’s scope is far more than geographical. The continent encompasses a complex national psyche, a potent mix of the spirited “mateship” and rugged self-reliance that developed through centuries of isolation, and the relaxed sophistication of its increasingly urban population. 3. A pronoun (he, she, it, they, etc.) Example: A silver-haired, silver-toothed Russian man in a Harley-Davidson jacket knocked at my door the following day, accompanied by a hotel clerk. He had found my wallet, with the hotel identity card in it, in the Arbotskaya metro station. 4. A transition (but, however, on the other hand, for example, in fact, etc.) Example: Best of all, the property’s peninsular location provides a buffer from the island’s nightlife. However, there is one threat to the Heads’ paradise: “Whenever there is a hurricane, you worry so much about whether the house is going to be there,” Mimi confides. 5. An implied connection Example: Verkhoyansk, in the republic of Sakha, northeastern Siberia, has the dubious distinction of being the coldest inhabited place on earth. It’s not considered chilly here until the thermometer has dipped to about 60 below. In this selection from an article about Dalkey, Ireland by novelist Maeve Binchy (National Geographic Traveler, January/February 2001, page 56), the sentences consistently look back early, and the reading is effortless. www.thetravelwriterslife.com 211 When I was a child I used to pray quite seriously that God would arrange things so that we need not live in Dalkey any longer. It was a villagestyle suburb south of Dublin on the coast of the Irish Sea, a genteel, quiet place of irregularly shaped houses and windy roads. The sea crashed around cliffs and in and out of the little picturesque fishing harbors, but there were no big long beaches like in the Atlantic seaside resorts. The sleepy main street of Dalkey had old-fashioned stores that closed at lunchtime. The pronoun “it” looks back early. The repeated word “sea” looks back early. The “sleepy main street” is an implied transition, a contrast to “Atlantic seaside resorts” and looks back early. And in this second selection, too, taken from an article by Ken Chowder about Baja, California (“The Sophisticated Traveler,” New York Times Magazine, November 19, 2000, page 88), the author creates seamless transitions that propel you forward as you read. Every out-of-the-way town in the world seems to have a Character in Residence. In Buena Vista, the Character is an almost legendary American named Steve Chism. I find him down at the beach, in a hut full of fishing tackle, lying on a crate reading Jared Diamond’s weighty “Guns, Germs, and Steel”; books by Gunter Grass and Philip Roth are beside him. Steve has a deeply creased sun-darkened face and a long, ghostly beard. He looks like John Muir; like Muir, he’s a self-taught naturalist. He knows everything; after all, he’s been on this beach for more than 20 years. The repeated word “Character” looks back early. The pronoun “him” looks back early. The synonym “Steve” looks back early. The pronoun “he” looks back early. The pronoun “he” looks back early. 212 The Ultimate Travel Writer’s Program You can practice creating seamless transitions from one sentence to the next by improving the following groups of sentences, in which the writers have ignored this key to good writing. Practice 8: Write Sentences that Look Back Early Rework these sentence groups so that the second sentence in each looks back early. 1. You should buy your concert tickets early in the week. The show is sure to be sold out and you’ll be disappointed by the end of the week. 2. When Borders Group Inc. decided to expand beyond its home U.S. market, the bookseller chose Singapore for its first overseas store. Many Western retailers make this city-state their first stop in Southeast Asia, so Singapore is familiar with this role. 3. The young woman was dressed in a tight pair of bell-bottomed pants, a cropped shirt, and an elaborate nose ring — “a sight to behold,” as her mother put it. She had a quick mind and a fiery wit, however. 4. Signor Bassolino’s administration even tried valiantly to reform the city’s chaotic flow of traffic by improving public transport, creating special lanes for buses and taxis, and assigning more police to enforce the regulations. The Neapolitans, who are great improvisers and have a long history of evasion when confronted by authority, still pretty much make up their own rules, as it turns out. 5. Set to open in December, Rosewood’s Marineau Bay is the first grand hotel on the east coast island of Vieques. In addition to two beaches, two restaurants, a spa, and a center for children and teens, all the rooms overlook the Atlantic. 6. Marooned in the small village of Fenza, we and four other stranded tourists were ushered into a house belonging to the most important man in the village. We sat in a windowless room in this two-story, clay-brick building. 7. In the 1960s, an enterprising mayor announced free land to anyone who would be willing to build or help renovate the town. Attracted to this new, www.thetravelwriterslife.com 213 inexpensive frontier, artisans and artists put Mojacar back on the map as an artists’ outpost. 8. That night I dine at Albertos, an Italian restaurant gracing the top floor of my narrow wooden house. I have a panoramic view of downtown from my table on the tilting balcony. Yet again, take out your own paragraph you’ve been working with and put it to the test. Do your sentences “look back early?” Read through them one at a time and fix those that don’t. I’m willing to guess you’re sick of reading your own paragraph by now. I don’t blame you. But if you’re working through these keys in earnest, your sentences have been transformed with each additional change you make. And it’s just that transformation we’re after. So hunker down for a little longer. You’re very close to having a model paragraph. In fact, that’s the subject we’ll tackle next. Key #9: Great Paragraphs Group Like Information in Logical Order So far, in keys 1 through 8, we’ve worked through the importance of choosing the right word for every situation, we’ve talked about what makes a great sentence, and we’ve focused on how sentences should best connect to one another. What we’ve yet to look at is the paragraph as a whole. What makes a great paragraph? And how can you ensure you write one every time? It’s not as daunting as you might think. You see, a strong paragraph follows a proven structure — an architecture that stands up to tests of logic, persuasion, and flow. Follow the reliable pattern for a six-sentence paragraph that I’ve included below, 214 You’ve got to lead your reader along. And you do that by grouping like information and presenting it in a logical pattern. Your paragraph should address one subject and explore it. The Ultimate Travel Writer’s Program and your reader will understand where you’re headed and stick with you. That, you see, is a critical issue. You’ve got to keep your reader informed about where you’re headed with your sentences. You cannot simply toss sentences around, willy-nilly — this one about how easy it is to get to the Bahamas, the next one about how affordable it is, the following one about how friendly the man at the airline desk was. You’ve got to lead your reader along. And you do that by grouping like information and presenting it in a logical pattern. Your paragraph should address one subject and explore it. This pattern works: The claim sentence. (This first sentence lays out your subject and takes a stand.) The structuring sentence. (This sentence sets out a road map for the rest of your paragraph. Here, you explain to your reader how you’ll discuss your subject, how you’ll support your claim.) Three proof sentences. (These next three sentences actually do the supporting and prove your point.) The conclusion sentence. (This last sentence restates or extends the claim you made in your first sentence.) Let me start by giving you a simple illustration. In the paragraph below, the writer is making a straightforward argument. Presented in this form, it’s easy to support: CLAIM: Dogs are much more responsive pets than cats are. STRUCTURE: A dog becomes part of the family...a cat merely coexists. PROOF: My dog Sammy comes when I call him. PROOF: He eats dinner at the same time I do. PROOF: He’s engaged in my everyday activities — we go for walks together, he rides to the store in the back of the car, he curls up in the office while I work. CONCLUSION: If you’re looking for a pet that will give something back...get a dog. And in this example, too, the writer makes his point by presenting his argument in a logical way: www.thetravelwriterslife.com 215 CLAIM: We here in the United States have lost a tremendous amount of buying power. STRUCTURE: One example is in the number of paychecks it takes for us to buy a mid-sized car. PROOF: Twenty years ago, it took the average American worker 17 1/2 weeks’ worth of paychecks to be able to buy a Ford Mustang. PROOF: Today, a new Mustang costs 26 weeks of work. PROOF: The average worker spends two more months on the job to buy the same thing as he could have bought 25 years ago. CONCLUSION: In the old days, we could have put that two months of income into savings and investments, preparing for the future — but those days are gone. When you’re not sure how to begin writing — when you have an idea for an article, you’ve done your research, and you’re ready to write — relying on this six-sentence structure is a smart way to begin to get words on paper. Write first one paragraph in this pattern... and then another... and then another. And pretty soon you’ll find you’ve said quite a bit. And you’ll have said it in a logical, easy-to-follow manner. Now, having unveiled that secret, I must admit: not every good paragraph follows that formula exactly. Herein lies the subtlety: That formula will always work. It will always produce a strong, logical, readable paragraph. The trouble is, it will not always be the most appropriate structure for what it is you’re trying to do in your paragraph. Any opinion you have or argument you make is best supported this way — with a sentence that takes a stand, another that explains how you’ll support it, another three that actually offer proof, and then a conclusion that wraps up your argument. But not every paragraph in every article you write will hinge upon an argument. You will have paragraphs devoted to the way a place looks. You will have paragraphs devoted to what you encountered on a journey. You will have paragraphs that, quite simply, offer facts about a place. So what then? Consider these two points: Not every good paragraph has six sentences. On the printed page in a narrow column, six sentences can look awfully long — and so you’ll often find in publications shorter paragraphs of two, three, maybe four 216 The Ultimate Travel Writer’s Program sentences. The simple truth of the matter is that a reader’s eye needs a break. Not all ideas are created equal. A reader’s eyestrain aside, the information you choose to include in your article may not always divide perfectly into six-sentence chunks. One point may require more than six sentences. For another, less-important point, you might commit fewer sentences. Nevertheless, all great paragraphs have two things in common: 1. Every great paragraph starts out with a strong claim sentence. Author Barry Tarshis calls it an “umbrella sentence.” In school, you may remember your English teacher calling it a “topic” sentence. This sentence should lay out for your reader one coherent idea — the one idea you want to convey. 2. Every great paragraph delivers information that is relevant and related to what you promised in your claim sentence. You may have 11 things to say about prices for goods in Mexico. But if your first sentence promises readers they’ll find “an affordable cost of living,” then your proof for that should be examples of the cost to hire a maid, to buy groceries, to pay the electric bill. The cost of the airline flight there — though it, too, might be affordable — would not fit in this paragraph. Now, let’s look at a paragraph from an article by Judith Kirkwood that appeared in National Geographic Traveler. It begins with a claim sentence, and the sentences that follow support that claim with related information that offers proof for that first claim. From Schnauzers in carry-on baggage passing through airport metal detectors to tabbies getting a room service delivery of catnip on a silver tray, pets are going to town and everywhere else. The Air Transport Association estimates that some 500,000 cats and dogs travel on major U.S. airlines each year. An increasing number of the 63 million Americans with pets are taking them on family vacations. Why? “Seven out of 10 Americans think of their pets as children,” observes veterinarian Marty Becker, co-author of Chicken Soup for the Cat and Dog Lover’s Soul. Once relegated to cheap motels and campgrounds, pets are now welcome nationwide at such mainstream chains as Howard Johnson’s, Day’s Inns, Ramada Inns, and Marriott’s Residence Inns (policies differ, depending on location). Some upscale hotels are wooing pet owners www.thetravelwriterslife.com 217 with amenities — New York’s Four Seasons and Chicago’s Ritz-Carlton offer pet sitting and dog walking. Pet-friendly chains such as Loews provide amenities like litter boxes and leashes, a pet passport that includes space for a pet travel diary, and a frequent stay program. Loews Santa Monica Beach Hotel reserves first floor patio rooms for pet owners and will book a groomer to fluff up fluffy.” (You can find lodgings at www. petswelcome.com and www.PetPlanet.com.) This lead from an article by Eve Kahn about Hungary’s wines (Food & Wine, August 1999, page 46) makes effective use of the claim sentence and the related follow-through. Though it’s divided, physically, into two paragraphs, the sentences all hang together as one unit. In the Tokaj region of northeastern Hungary, the ugliest grapes are the best loved. For it is the shriveled grapes, affected by noble rot (Botrytis cinerea) and left to languish on the vine, that contribute to the creation of the world’s most famous dessert wines, Tokaji Aszu (pronounced TOHkoy AW-soo). Tokaji Aszu is not only among the most renowned sweet wines in the 14 world but also among the oldest, dating back to the mid17th century (and it’s a good 100 years older than Sauternes, another acclaimed botrytised wine). It’s most glorious years, however, may be yet to come. Recently, wealthy investors, both European and American, have taken an interest in Tokaj and have set about revitalizing its greatest wineries. They’re restoring neglected Baroque mansions and hilltop cellars while building high-tech bottling plants. And they’re producing wonderful dessert wines, as well as some very good dry table wines. Below, I’ve included two paragraphs for you to rework. Make sure each begins with a strong claim sentence and includes only related, supporting information in the sentences that follow. In addition, pay attention to the order in which you present that supporting information. Practice 9: Great Paragraphs Group Like Information in Logical Order 1. Rework this collection of sentences to create a stronger, six-sentence paragraph. You may need not only to rearrange the sentences but also to improve upon them by rewriting or adding smoother transitions. 218 The Ultimate Travel Writer’s Program On Roatan, the largest of the Bay Islands off Honduras’ Caribbean coast, property values are down as much as 50 percent, due to media misrepresentation. Today is the best time in the past eight years to buy island real estate in this little corner of the Caribbean. Tourism receipts are way down. Local business is suffering. In truth, this island is as beautiful and safe as it ever was, yet exaggerated stories in mainstream newspapers about the damage done by Hurricane Mitch have wreaked havoc with the local economy. Real estate prices are depressed. 2. Transform this uneven collection of sentences into three superior paragraphs by identifying one coherent idea you want to get across in each. First, write a claim sentence that does the job. Next, choose sentences that support that idea. And once you’ve done that, think carefully about the order in which you want to present those sentences. Remember our triedand-true formula that calls for claim, structure, and proof. You’ll have to do away with some of the sentences that have no place in any of your three paragraphs. If you live on an island, there are always some inconveniences and logistical problems associated with getting what you need. Living on the larger and more populated islands in the Windwards — like Jamaica, Puerto Rico, or the British Virgin Islands — it is fairly simple to get goods delivered on a regular schedule and at competitive rates. All the staples of life: cars, fuel, furniture, appliances, building materials, household goods, and a variety of foodstuffs are all available from stateside dealers and manufacturers. And consolidators can arrange for these goods to be delivered right to your door. But to ship and receive goods “down island” in places like Dominica, St. Lucia, St. Vincent, or Antigua is more complicated. Fortunately, the privately owned cargo boats that sail from the Windward Islands to those outer destinations provide an invaluable service. The cargo boats that service these islands all keep some type of schedule, weather permitting, and will take as cargo almost anything that can be gotten aboard — cars, trucks, building materials, household goods, and sometimes even livestock. Many deliver the fruits and vegetables that are grown down island to the better markets in the more populated islands of the north. www.thetravelwriterslife.com 219 Most of these inter-island cargo vessels dock at downtown or other convenient locations where customers can bring their goods and boxes to be shipped. The Captain will look at your goods, quote a price, to be paid before loading and tell you what day he expects to arrive at his destination. The ports of call to be visited and the days of sailing are usually listed on a sign or blackboard at the gangway. The majority of these ships are fairly old but well maintained and must meet the safety regulations of the Caribbean Shipwright Code. Some have refrigeration capacity and can transfer produce and dairy products. Others have no cargo holds, and everything is loaded on deck and exposed to the seas and the weather. Most ships will take goods to another island for transfer to another boat and on to its final island destination. As recently as 10 years ago, many of these inter-island cargo vessels were wooden sailboats. But they were considered too slow and undependable and have all been retired to minor down-island duty. As a rule, these cargo boats do not take passengers as there are no facilities save a seat. On short daylight runs and in an emergency, it is possible that the captain might accommodate a few passengers. Without these inter-island cargo vessels there would be no opportunity for locals that have relocated to more populated islands or expatriates that wish to live on these more remote islands to send and receive goods and possessions. One last time, take a look at that paragraph of yours you’ve been working with. Does it begin with a strong claim sentence? If you’re setting up an argument, do the sentences that follow support your argument? Do you have sentences in your paragraph that have no business being there — or do all your sentences clearly support your first one? Consider the points you’ve just learned in this key and rework that paragraph one more time. You may find you need to divide it in two. Key #10: Organize by Element ecently, I spent a few weeks asking writers how they organize R their material for a story. I was hoping to come away with “The One Best, Sure-Fire Way to Get Organized.” 220 The Ultimate Travel Writer’s Program Alas, it was not to be. Writers are a notoriously individualistic group. And I found that what seemed to work for some people was exactly what others argued was the kiss of death. Take outlines, for instance. I never write a standard outline with Roman numerals before I sit down to write a story. I never used to write them when I was in school, either. (I recall, sometimes teachers would require an outline be turned in with a paper. I would first write the paper and then create the outline from it.) However, I work with colleagues who swear that the only way to order your thoughts effectively is on a sheet of 8.5" x 11" paper with points properly numbered and indented. Whatever your feelings about outlines may be, you must, in some way, impose order on the mound of material you’ll have gathered for your story. As I said earlier, I cannot deliver to you the one, best way to do it. I can, however, give you some idea about how other, more experienced writers tackle the task. No doubt, one of these methods — or some personalized combination of them — will suit you. I. A. B. II. A. B. III. A. B. IV. A. B. Let’s assume your story is to be about taking a beach vacation in the Caribbean Bay Islands of Honduras. Your argument is that this destination is an affordable, off-the-beaten-track alternative to those other, more-developed spots like the Bahamas or Cozumel. 1. The outline. Let’s say you decide to give the outline a whirl. It might look like the one I’ve drawn up below — or, quite frankly, it might not. Every writer could look at the same stack of papers and come up with a different way to slice it. No one approach is necessarily better than another. As long as the material is divided up in some logical manner... that’s what is important. www.thetravelwriterslife.com 221 Bay Islands Offer Great Vacation Alternative I. Grab reader with description of a day spent enjoying surroundings... set the scene A. On the beach, basking in sun B. No people hawking goods on the sand — not even any footprints C. Water warm and quiet D. Book in hand, etc II. Summary claim of what destination has to offer... A. Beauty — great beaches, spectacular diving B. No crowds C. Affordable D. Easily accessible III. Water activities A. Diving, snorkeling, sailing, fishing B. To each, devote one paragraph that includes recommendation for where to go and with whom IV. Or just bask on the sand A. Plenty of deserted beaches B. Give examples and where they are, what makes each distinct V. Shopping is surprisingly rewarding... A. Very few made-for-tourist items B. Authentic baskets and carvings at reasonable prices (with examples) C. Don’t miss the vanilla or the fresh jams D. Best places to shop VI. Despite relatively untouched nature of the place, hotel accommodations and restaurants are surprisingly sophisticated A. List three resorts and describe each with pricing B. List best restaurants and pricing Your outline might be more or less detailed than this one. That’s up to you. Simply write enough to give yourself a useful guide. An outline has one great benefit that I see: It allows you to quickly identify where you might need more information or where you’ve already got too much. It gives you clues as you consider how much weight this or that idea deserves. 222 The Ultimate Travel Writer’s Program 2. The stacks. Some people tend to need a more physical division of the material. I know I do. When I sit down to get organized, I divide and conquer. Take hotels, for example. I make a pile for the hotel information — all the brochures I’ve picked up, the business cards, etc. Around that stack, I wrap a piece of 8.5" x 11" paper folded in half. On it, I scrawl “hotels.” And then below that, I write down what it is I want to be sure I include — the names of the hotels and maybe even a thought or two about each. If one has beautiful rooms, I’ll write “rooms.” If another has nice rooms and an unbelievably affordable price tag, I write “best value.” Then I divide up the rest of the material I’ve gathered in the same way — dive shops get a stack, restaurant gets a stack, business cards from shops get a stack. And around each, I wrap a piece of paper with my quick notes about what to include on that subject. Now I go on to some subjects I know I want to include but don’t have brochures or menus, etc. to attach to the ideas. No matter. I still fold a piece of paper in half, write down “beaches,” for example, and then scribble quick reminders to myself about what I want to say. By this time, my desk usually looks like a bomb has hit it, and so I often move all the stacks to the floor where I can see them. Then I open a new screen in my word-processing program, and I do some thinking about how to best proceed. What do I want to do for a lead? What should I talk about first? When should I mention this or that? My list might look like this: beach description lead what destination has to offer... beauty, no crowds, affordable, easily accessible diving snorkeling sailing fishing beaches shopping hotels restaurants www.thetravelwriterslife.com 223 It can be a messy process. But it requires me to go through my notes and through the brochures and such that I’ve gathered. And when I do that, I find I am reminded of things I forgot but meant to include — and this allows me to immerse myself again in the place I’m going to write about. 3. The Full Monty. I know some writers who simply sit down and write. They don’t worry beforehand about what to talk about first. They just write. They don’t hem and haw about which pieces of information to include and which to hold back. They just write. They don’t first pain over how, exactly, a particular sentence is best designed. They just write and write until it’s all out there for the world to see. I call this the “Full Monty” approach. A paragraph on hotels might include some wonderful sentences about what made this place or that so special. And then it might say, “pricing, tel. number, etc.” Another section on diving might include long passages about how close the reef is to the shore or what sights the writer saw... and say, “get fish names.” “Full Monty” writers finish a twohour session at the computer with pages upon pages of copy — and, usually, a great sense of accomplishment. (I used to sit in an office with a writer who took this approach. The smug look he’d have on his face when he finally stood up to stretch — having revealed everything he could ever hope to reveal about a topic — used to drive me crazy. There I’d be, surrounded by my stacks of papers, and he’d seem to be all done. He wasn’t, of course — not even close — but still, there’s nothing that intimidates like two hours of nonstop typing from the guy across the room.) I always like to impose a bit more discipline on the process, but I cannot deny: This method certainly works for some people. In the end, what they turn in as a final story will bear little resemblance to this initial burst of copy. From this starting point, writers who take the Full Monty approach then cut-and-paste, look up those missing telephone numbers, go back through their notes to add quotes here and there, rewrite entire sections, delete others, add more. 224 The Ultimate Travel Writer’s Program But the logic here is that it is best to simply get it all out there so you see what you have to work with before committing some hours or days or weeks to polishing. Whatever works for you... go to it. No matter which method — or combination of methods — you rely on to organize your material and your thoughts, you’re likely to discover one great benefit: When you’re faced with what may seem to be an unbearably large task — an assignment of 4,000 words about the Bay Islands, say — you’llfind that by organizing your material, you break the project down into much more manageable pieces. All of a sudden, you’re not writing an impossibly long article, you’re writing eight 500-word sections, each one devoted to a different subject. Once you realize that, you can then divide up your workload over a few days or a few weeks and create small deadlines for yourself. (Just a note: When you’re dividing up your material, keep in mind that not every section is likely to be created equal. I just mentioned “eight 500-word sections” for that Bay Islands story. The truth is, you’ll more likely have some sections of 300 words and others of 800 or 1,000.) The key to any form of organizing is to organize by element. In the Bay Islands example we’ve been working with, we organized by these elements: where to swim, where to dive, where to eat, where to stay, etc. In a restaurant review you would probably organize using a different set of elements: décor, service, price, presentation, taste, etc. But no matter what you’re writing about, as long as you choose some “elements,” some logical groupings around which to organize your piece, you’ll be well ahead of the game. Following is the answer key to the practices you’ve done in this chapter. I’ve not included any practice for this last point (“organize by When you’re faced with what may seem to be an unbearably large task — an assignment of 4,000 words about the Bay Islands, say — you’ll find that by organizing your material, you break the project down into much more manageable pieces. www.thetravelwriterslife.com 225 element”) because, well, it’s something you’ll have to practice and experiment with on your own. Answer Key for Practice 6: Speak Directly and Personally to Your Reader 1. More artistic masterpieces can be found within the neighborhood of the Prado Museum than anywhere else. You’ll find more artistic masterpieces within the neighborhood of the Prado Museum than anywhere else. 2. Breathtaking seascapes and exotic tropical landscapes are offered by Palm Island Resort for the discriminating traveler to indulge in and behold. Palm Island Resort offers the discriminating traveler breathtaking seascapes and exotic tropical landscapes to indulge in and behold. 3. Opportunities for challenging tours, treks, and hikes for nature-lovers — not to mention awe-inspiring views — are offered by Pico Duarte, the highest peak in the Caribbean. Pico Duarte, the highest peak in the Caribbean, offers nature lovers opportunities for challenging tours, treks, and hikes - not to mention awe-inspiring views. 4. In shipboard spas, the finest in European-style treatments can be experienced while cruising the world. In shipboard spas, you can experience the finest in European-style treatments while cruising the world. 5. Particular attention has been lavished on the Silver State’s range of accommodations. Savvy tourist-minded entrepreneurs [or, another “doer”] have lavished particular attention on the Silver State’s range of accommodations. 6. It’s more likely to be upgraded by a reservations agent to an empty suite at 8 p.m. than at 4 p.m. when bookings are still coming in. 226 The Ultimate Travel Writer’s Program It is more likely a reservations agent will upgrade you to an empty suite at 8 p.m. than at 4 p.m. when bookings are still coming in. 7. I was met at the dock by Caesar Banks, a grizzled gentleman of great humor and considerable presence. Caesar Banks, a grizzled gentleman of great humor and considerable presence, met me at the dock. 8. Undisturbed beaches and historic sites waiting to be explored will be delighted in. Visitors will delight in the undisturbed beaches and historic sites waiting to be explored. Answer Key for Practice 7: Keep Subjects and Verbs Together 1. Puerto Plata, comprising several seaside hotels offering a full array of water sports as well as gourmet dining and casino gambling, is ideal for those who appreciate modern amenities. Puerto Plata is ideal for those who appreciate modern amenities. You’ll find several seaside hotels offering a full array of water sports as well as gourmet dining and casino gambling. 2. Portland, almost a three-hour drive from Kingston and the nearest major airport (only small planes head to local Ken Jones Airport), is the most isolated of Jamaica’s tourist zones. Portland is the most isolated of Jamaica’s tourist zones. Almost a threehour drive from Kingston and the nearest major airport, only small planes head to the local Ken Jones Airport. 3. Anegada, a low, flat slab of limestone, sand, and arid scrub forest, is a desert compared to the other BVIs, which are rocky, mountainous, and heavily forested. Anegada is a desert compared to the other BVIs — a low, flat slab of limestone, sand, and arid scrub forest. By contrast, the other islands are rocky, mountainous, and heavily forested. www.thetravelwriterslife.com 227 4. The artist, expert in the restoration of damaged oil paintings, the refinishing of antique furniture, and the renovation of old homes, was, in fact, trained in sculpture. The artist, though trained in sculpture, today is an expert in the restoration of damaged oil paintings, the refinishing of antique furniture, and the renovation of old homes. 5. Our dinner by candlelight, accompanied with good wine, four interesting and well-prepared courses, and smiling, attentive service was a standout. Our dinner was a standout. We ate by candlelight, and a smiling, attentive wait staff served us good wine and four interesting and well-prepared courses. 6. The conversation, lively and spirited in this very cosmopolitan and quite sophisticated, well-traveled group, proved a joy. The conversation — lively and spirited — proved a joy. We chatted with a very cosmopolitan, sophisticated, well-traveled group. 7. I would say that the tour, though an excellent way to get a quick overview of Belize and well worth the tariff charged, would have been better had we been exposed to more expatriates and heard their views. The tour offered an excellent, quick overview of Belize and was well worth the tariff. However, additional exposure to expatriates and their views would have improved the trip. 8. If expecting a tour including gourmet meals, five-star hotels, and sightseeing centered on fine museums and elegant shopping, this is not for you. If you’re expecting a tour including gourmet meals, five-star hotels, and sightseeing centered on fine museums and elegant shopping — this is not the trip for you. Answer Key for Practice 8: Write Sentences that Look Back Early 1. You should buy your concert tickets sometime early in the week. The show is sure to be sold out and you’ll be disappointed by the end of the week. 228 The Ultimate Travel Writer’s Program You should buy your concert tickets sometime early in the week. By the end of the week, the show is sure to be sold out, and you’ll be disappointed. 2. When Borders Group Inc. decided to expand beyond its home U.S. market, the bookseller chose Singapore for its first overseas store. Many Western retailers make this city-state their first stop in Southeast Asia, so Singapore is familiar with this role. When Borders Group Inc. decided to expand beyond its home U.S. market, the bookseller chose Singapore for its first overseas store. Singapore is familiar with this role as many Western retailers make this city-state their first stop in Southeast Asia. 3. The young woman was dressed in a tight pair of bell-bottomed pants, a cropped shirt, and an elaborate nose ring — “a sight to behold,” as her mother put it. She had a quick mind and a fiery wit, however. The young woman was dressed in a tight pair of bell-bottomed pants, a cropped shirt, and an elaborate nose ring — “a sight to behold,” as her mother put it. However, she had a quick mind and a fiery wit. 4. Signor Bassolino’s administration even tried valiantly to reform the city’s chaotic flow of traffic by improving public transport, creating special lanes for buses and taxis, and assigning more police to enforce the regulations. The Neapolitans, who are great improvisers and have a long history of evasion when confronted by authority, still pretty much make up their own rules, as it turns out. Signor Bassolino’s administration even tried valiantly to reform the city’s chaotic flow of traffic by improving public transport, creating special lanes for buses and taxis, and assigning more police to enforce the regulations. But as it turns out, the Neapolitans, who are great improvisers and have a long history of evasion when confronted by authority, still pretty much make up their own rules. 5. Set to open in December, Rosewood’s Marineau Bay is the first grand hotel on the east coast island of Vieques. In addition to two beaches, two restaurants, a spa, and a center for children and teens, all the rooms overlook the Atlantic. www.thetravelwriterslife.com 229 Set to open in December, Rosewood’s Marineau Bay is the first grand hotel on the east coast island of Vieques. The resort’s rooms overlook the Atlantic, and the facilities boast two beaches, two restaurants, a spa, and a center for children and teens. 6. Marooned in the small village of Fenza, we and four other stranded tourists were ushered into a house belonging to the most important man in the village. We sat in a windowless room in this two-story, clay-brick building. Marooned in the small village of Fenza, we and four other stranded tourists were ushered into a house belonging to the most important man in the village. It was a two-story, clay-brick building, and we sat in a windowless room. 7. In the 1960s, an enterprising mayor announced free land to anyone who would be willing to build or help renovate the town. Attracted to this new, inexpensive frontier, artisans and artists put Mojacar back on the map as an artists’ outpost. In the 1960s, an enterprising mayor announced free land to anyone who would be willing to build or help renovate the town. Artisans and artists, attracted to this new, inexpensive frontier, put Mojacar back on the map as an artists’ outpost. 8. That night I dine at Albertos, an Italian restaurant gracing the top floor of my narrow wooden house. I have a panoramic view of downtown from my table on the tilting balcony. That night I dine at Albertos, an Italian restaurant gracing the top floor of my narrow wooden house. From my table on the tilting balcony, I have a panoramic view of downtown. Answer Key for Practice 9: Great Paragraphs Group Like Information in Logical Order 1. Original version: On Roatan, the largest of the Bay Islands off Honduras’ Caribbean coast, property values are down as much as 50 percent, due to media 230 The Ultimate Travel Writer’s Program misrepresentation. Today is the best time in the past eight years to buy island real estate in this little corner of the Caribbean. Tourism receipts are way down. Local business is suffering. In truth, this island is as beautiful and safe as it ever was, yet exaggerated stories in mainstream newspapers about the damage done by Hurricane Mitch have wreaked havoc with the local economy. Real estate prices are depressed. 1. Improved version: On Roatan, the largest of the Bay Islands off Honduras’ Caribbean coast, property values are down as much as 50 percent, due to media misrepresentation. In truth, this island is as beautiful and safe as it ever was, yet exaggerated stories in mainstream newspapers about the damage done by Hurricane Mitch have wreaked havoc with the local economy. Tourism receipts are way down. Local business is suffering. Real estate prices are depressed. Today is the best time in the past eight years to buy island real estate in this little corner of the Caribbean. 2. Original version: If you live on an island, there are always some inconveniences and logistical problems associated with getting what you need. Living on the larger and more populated islands in the Windwards – like Jamaica, Puerto Rico, or the British Virgin Islands - it is fairly simple to get goods delivered on a regular schedule and at competitive rates. All the staples of life: cars, fuel, furniture, appliances, building materials, household goods, and a variety of foodstuffs are all available from stateside dealers and manufacturers. And consolidators can arrange for these goods to be delivered right to your door. But to ship and receive goods “down island” in places like Dominica, St. Lucia, St. Vincent, or Antigua is more complicated. Fortunately, the privately owned cargo boats that sail from the Windward Islands to those outer destinations provide an invaluable service. The cargo boats that service these islands all keep some type of schedule, weather permitting, and will take as cargo almost anything that can be gotten aboard — cars, trucks, building materials, household goods, and sometimes even livestock. Many deliver the fruits and vegetables that are grown down island to the better markets in the more populated islands of the north. www.thetravelwriterslife.com 231 Most of these inter-island cargo vessels dock at downtown or other 14 convenient locations where customers can bring their goods and boxes to be shipped. The Captain will look at your goods, quote a price, to be paid before loading and tell you what day he expects to arrive at his destination. The ports of call to be visited and the days of sailing are usually listed on a sign or blackboard at the gangway. The majority of these ships are fairly old but well maintained and must meet the safety regulations of the Caribbean Shipwright Code. Some have refrigeration capacity and can transfer produce and dairy products. Others have no cargo holds, and everything is loaded on deck and exposed to the seas and the weather. Most ships will take goods to another island for transfer to another boat and on to its final island destination. As recently as 10 years ago, many of these inter-island cargo vessels were wooden sailboats. But they were considered too slow and undependable and have all been retired to minor down-island duty. As a rule, these cargo boats do not take passengers as there are no facilities save a seat. On short daylight runs and in an emergency, it is possible that the captain might accommodate a few passengers. Without these inter-island cargo vessels there would be no opportunity for locals that have relocated to more populated islands or expatriates that wish to live on these more remote islands to send and receive goods and possessions. 2. Improved version: (Your three paragraphs probably won’t be the same as mine. But no matter. Just be sure that you have chosen three ideas, have begun each paragraph with a strong claim sentence, and then have supported that claim with relevant, related information.) If you live on a fairly large and well-populated island like those in the Windwards — Jamaica, Puerto Rico, or the British Virgin Islands, for example — it is fairly simple to get goods delivered on a regular schedule and at competitive rates. Stateside dealers and manufacturers provide all the staples of life: cars, fuel, furniture, appliances, building materials, household goods, and a variety of foodstuffs. And consolidators arrange for these goods to be delivered right to your door. 232 The Ultimate Travel Writer’s Program But you’ll find it more complicated to ship and receive goods “down island” in places like Dominica, St. Lucia, St. Vincent, or Antigua. Fortunately, the privately owned cargo boats that sail from the Windward Islands to those outer destinations provide an invaluable service. The cargo boats that service these islands all keep some type of schedule, weather permitting. And they will take as cargo almost anything that can be gotten aboard — cars, trucks, building materials, household goods, and sometimes even livestock. Arranging for shipping is not, however, something you can do on the phone or online. Most of these inter-island cargo vessels dock downtown or at other convenient locations where you can bring goods and boxes to be shipped. The captain will look at your goods, quote you a price, and then tell you what day he expects to arrive at his destination. You pay him before your goods are loaded aboard. Exercise #12 Write an Article of 250-600 Words, Paying Special Attention to the Words You Choose and the Kinds of Sentences You Write 1. If you haven’t done so yet, compare your answers to the exercises in this chapter to those I’ve offered in the answer key. Be aware that my answers are not the only correct ones possible. You may have come up with a rewritten sentence that is just as good as mine... maybe even better. But use my solutions as a guide. 2. Once again, just as you did at the end of the last chapter, I’d like you to get out of your chair and head somewhere more interesting. This time, I want you to go in search of material for an article of 250-600 words. Just as you did with your first article exercise, you’ll want to identify an audience and a possible publication. In other words, have a particular reader in mind. That will help you narrow your focus. 3. Need ideas for your story? Try driving to an adjoining town or another neighborhood. Test out a restaurant you’ve been meaning to go to. Go in search of some item — antiques, a bargain breakfast, a good-value B&B, www.thetravelwriterslife.com 233 an ideal way to spend a day outside, an activity for kids... If you still can’t think of anything to write about, turn to the list of story ideas you came up with at the end of Chapter 9. One of those would be just fine. 4. With your idea in mind and a notebook and pen in hand, get started. Interview a few people if need be. And remember to take good notes about everything from how long it took you to get there to the smells of the place. 5. Once you’re back from your research trip and armed with notes, you’ll need to start organizing your thoughts. Go back through this chapter’s Key #10 (about organizing). Pick one approach (and if that doesn’t work, try another). Take this opportunity to learn something about the way you find it easiest to organize your ideas and your research... write an outline for your story or make a list of what you’ll include. Impose some structure. 6. Those critical tasks behind you, get to writing. Don’t worry if you don’t finish in one sitting. Write a paragraph a day for the next five days. You’ll have a full article done by the end of the week. Then, when it’s finished, let it sit for at least a few hours — overnight would be best. 7. Then, when you pick your first draft up again, do so with Chapters 13 and 14 of this program open on your desk. You’re going to systematically review your article and work to improve it... word by word and sentence by sentence. Make sure you’re using: Vibrant verbs Words that are short, specific, and common Short sentences Sentences that express only one idea each Sentences that say what you mean to say Active voice Sentences that keep the subject close to the verb Sentences that look back early Paragraphs that contain strong claim sentences and relevant supporting information 234 The Ultimate Travel Writer’s Program
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