1. business and industrial

VENTRAX VIEWS
E-MAGAZINE
Issue 264 Vol. G6 May 2013
PP12812/10/2012(031058)
THE SECRET TO
DEALING WITH
DIFFICULT
PEOPLE: ITS ABOUT
YOU PG.2
5 TIPS FOR DEALING
WITH DIFFICULT
PEOPLE PG.4
CONTROL FREAKS PG.6
EVALUATING STAFF
PG.12
THE RIGHT WAY
HANDLING ANGRY
CUSTOMERS PG.16
LEARNING TO DEAL
WITH DIFFICULT
PEOPLE PG.17
PLACEMENT FEES ARE
CHEAP WHEN YOU
LOOK AT THEM THIS
WAY PG.22
SELF DEVELOPMENT SEMINAR
“HOW TO DEAL WITH
DIFFICULT PEOPLE” PG.8
TIME MANAGEMENT WITH DR. VENGA PG.11
THE SECRET TO DEALING WITH
DIFFICULT PEOPLE: IT’S ABOUT YOU
Do you have someone at work who
consistently triggers you? Doesn’t
listen? Takes credit for work you’ve
done? Wastes your time with trivial
issues? Acts like a know-it-all? Can
only talk about himself? Constantly
criticizes?
Our core emotional need is to
feel valued and valuable. When
we don’t, it’s deeply unsettling,
a challenge to our sense of
equilibrium, security, and wellbeing. This is especially true when
the person you’re struggling with
is your boss. The problem is that
being in charge of other people
rarely brings out the best in us.
Blaming others for how we’re
feeling is a form of self-protection.
Whatever is going wrong isn’t our
fault. By off loading responsibility,
we feel better in the short-term.
The problem with being a victim
is that you cede the power to
influence your circumstances. The
painful truth when it comes to
the people who trigger you is this:
You’re not going to change them.
2
Ventrax Views May 2013 | www.ventrax.com.my
The only person you have the possibility
of changing is yourself.
Each of us has a default lens
through which we see the world.
We call it reality, but in fact it’s a
selective filter. We have the power,
to view the world through other
lenses. There are three worth
trying on when you find yourself
defaulting to negative emotions:
The Lens of Realistic Optimism
- Using this lens requires asking
yourself two simple questions
when you feel you’re being
treated badly or unfairly. The first
one is “What are the facts in this
situation?” The second is, “What’s
the story I’m telling myself about
those facts?”
Making this distinction allows you
to stand outside your experience,
rather than simply reacting to it.
It also opens the possibility that
whatever story you’re currently
telling yourself isn’t necessarily the
only way to look at your situation.
The Reverse Lens - This lens
requires viewing the world
through the lens of the person
who triggered you. It doesn’t
mean sacrificing your own point
of view but rather widening your
perspective.
How many times has something
that felt terrible to you in the
moment turned out to be trivial
several months later, or actually led
you to an important opportunity
or a positive new direction?
It’s nearly certain that the person
you perceive as difficult views
the situation differently than you
do. With the reverse lens, you ask
yourself, “What is this person
feeling, and in what ways does
that make sense?” Or put more
starkly: “Where’s my responsibility
in all this?”
The Long Lens - Sometimes your
worst fears about another person
turn out to be true. He is someone
who bullies you unreasonably
and seeing it from his perspective
doesn’t help. She does invariably
take credit for your work.
When your current circumstances
are incontrovertibly bad, the long
lens provides a way of looking
beyond the present to imagine
a better future. Begin with this
question: “Regardless of how
I feel about what’s happening
right now, how can I grow and
learn from this experience?”
www.ventrax.com.my | Ventrax Views May 2013
3
5 TIPS FOR DEALING WITH
DIFFICULT PEOPLE
Some people are just plain hard to get
along with. But you don’t have to let them
get under your skin. Unfortunately, difficult
people — be they co-workers, bosses, or
customers — face us constantly. The way
we handle them can affect our job, our
advancement, and even our health. Here
are some tips to help you cope with these
problematic relationships.
1: Try not to take things personally
Sometimes, people are difficult simply
because of who they are. It might have
nothing at all to do with you. So try not to
take it personally — even if the comment
is directed at you. That person might be
that way with everyone. Taking such
comments personally only makes dealing
with that person harder for you.
2: Ask questions rather than
making statements
For example, if someone insists on
keeping all of your backup tapes in the
server room, resist your first urge to state
the idiocy of the idea. Consider instead
a question such as, “So what will we do
if a fire destroys the data center?” If the
person responds, “We will simply do a
restore,” ask, “How will we do a restore if
the only backup tapes were destroyed in
the fire?”
3: Use “I” rather than “you”
Using a statement that contains “I”
involves less risk than a statement that
4
Ventrax Views May 2013 | www.ventrax.com.my
contains “you.” The first pronoun doesn’t
sound like an accusation, so people are
less likely to react negatively. For instance,
instead of saying, “You never sent me that
email,” consider saying, “I never received
that email.”
4: Turn the tables
Difficult people like to take the offensive,
and they like to put other people on the
defensive. Try turning the tables on that
person. For example, if someone says, “We
can’t do that,” ask, “What CAN you do?” If
that person says, “We can’t be ready by
that date,” ask “When CAN you be ready?”
or “What factors are keeping you from
being ready on that date?”
5: Express appreciation when
appropriate
Even if someone has a difficult personality,
that person can help you learn a skill or
give you insight. If that happens, let the
person know you appreciate it. Just be
sincere. Nothing turns a person off more
than someone who is trying to curry
favor. One hint: if you do thank or express
appreciation to such a person, do it
without smiling, because your words will
sound more sincere that way.
Easy to say; hard to do, since most criticism is personal.
DON’T TAKE THIS CRITICISM PERSONALLY
Easy to say, hard to do. In fact, “don’t take it
personally, “would rank near the top of my
all time list of useless things to say to people.
It’s not because there’s anything wrong with
the concept, it’s just that people who are
taking things too personally are so seldom
consciously aware of what they’re doing
that the advice is perceived as just another
personal attack.
What does it mean to take things personally?
All of us have external things -- our children,
our pets, our favorite sports teams, and our
creations at work -- that we experience as if
they were parts of our bodies. Psychologically,
we make little distinction between verbal
disparagement of these things and physical
attacks to our vital organs. When it comes to
criticism, we all take it personally. It’s part of
our psychological makeup. We’re hard-wired
to defend what we do and what we love.
That doesn’t mean we have to respond to
every criticism with an instinctive kill-orbe-killed counter-attack. Luckily, we have
evolved brains that are capable of over-riding
our primitive default settings. We just have
to remember to use them. Here are some
suggestions on how to keep from being seen
as taking criticisms too personally:
Stop and think before you say anything
-- This is good advice no matter what the
situation. When you feel attacked the first
thing that pops into your head is seldom
the most effective response. If you make it a
practice to wait twenty-four hours before you
answer criticisms the people around you may
be so surprised by your maturity and
reasonableness that they will listen to you for
a change.
Listen carefully -- Every criticism contains
useful information as well as an attack. If
you don’t hear anything useful at first, keep
listening until you do.
Ask for advice rather than giving answers
-- The explanations you think of will sound
perfectly reasonable and at least 150% correct.
To you. To other people they will sound like a
misguided defense against a misperceived
personal attack. Most any explanation you
choose will make you look even more wrong.
Trust me on this. If, by sheer force of reason,
your explanation actually succeeds in getting
the criticism modified or withdrawn, it may
feel like you’ve won, but it probably means
that people have decided it’s easier to humor
you than treat you like a rational human
being.
What if you have to criticize someone who
takes things too personally? Structure the
situation so that he or she doesn’t have to
admit wrongdoing by accepting what you
have to say. In Asia they’d call it allowing
the person to save face. Make it clear in
your comments that you understand how a
reasonable and honorable person might do
what he or she did. Direct your advice toward
improving the situation rather than pointing
out mistakes. Focus on what you want to
happen rather than what’s wrong with what
has already happened.
Come to think of it, this is a good way to
present criticism to anyone, because you
never know who’s going to take it personally.
www.ventrax.com.my | Ventrax Views May 2013
5
CONTROL FREAKS
Why are some people obsessed with
control? Do they think they have the
only brain on the planet? Why do they
insist that everything be done their
way even when you can show them
that your way works just as well? Or
better. What is it with these control
freaks?
and more of the person’s daylight
world.
The safe area becomes
narrower, and the only way to keep
back the creatures of the night is with
more control and more distance from
the awful possibility of fear.
If you ask them about it they’ll just say
they’re doing their job.
Control freaks see themselves as
overburdened with the task of
protecting an ungrateful world from
mistakes. They are seldom aware of
the abject terror at the heart of their
obsession.
So what do you do if you have to
work for one of these poor, frightened
people?
Getting mad and calling them control
freaks will make the situation worse.
They will see your behavior as clear
evidence that they must watch you
even more closely, because you’re the
one with the problem, not them.
Imagine a dog inside an electric fence.
After he touches it once or twice, you
can turn off the power, because he
won’t go near it again. This is the way
people with control problems deal
with their fear of making mistakes.
Somewhere in the dim past perhaps
they were burned badly, but now they
never get close enough to their fear to
see if the power is still on. They spend
their lives keeping themselves and
others away from the fence.
The strategy is self-defeating.
Unconfronted fears mutate in the
darkness beyond the fence like alien
fungi. Gradually they take over more
6
Ventrax Views May 2013 | www.ventrax.com.my
Forget trying to talk them out of it, too.
Even seasoned therapists have trouble
convincing the control obsessed that
their behavior might be causing more
problems than its solving. (Between
you and me, at least part of our
difficulty lies in the fact that it’s always
hardest to cure people who have the
same neuroses as we do.)
The answer to working with control
freaks lies in negotiation, not
recrimination. Every task has an end
product -- whatever it is that needs
to be done -- and a process -- the
actual behaviors through which the
end product is achieved. Negotiate
to deliver a very specific product at a
very specific time. If you hand over
the goods, there is less motivation
to quibble about how you got them.
Not that the control-obsessed person
won’t try. Treat attempts to control
the process as requests to change
the end product, which any business
person would have to agree would
reopen the whole negotiation.
If
the end product is not affected, why
change the process? Needless to
say you have to have some history of
delivering the goods for a strategy like
this to work.
Bottom line is: If you do what you say,
when you say you’ll do it, the control
freak will go and bother somebody
less reliable.
By the way, if you are wondering
whether or not you might be a control
freak, there is a sure test. If, once every
day, you can’t publicly acknowledge
how somebody else’s way of doing
something important was better than
yours, start looking for that invisible
electric fence around your mind. A
mistake every day keeps the
fear away.
www.ventrax.com.my | Ventrax Views May 2013
7
SELF DEVELOPMENT SEMINAR
S
May 2013
DATE:
9 MAY 2013
TIME:
6.00PM - 8.00PM
VENUE:
BANKER’S CLUB
PENTHOUSE
AMODA BUILDING
22, JALAN IMBI
55100 KUALA LUMPUR
MALAYSIA
H
HOW
TO DEAL WITH
D
DIFFICULT PEOPLE
Also available
this month on
11 May 2013
(Saturday).
Time :
10am – 12pm
Venue : Ace
Professional
Studies Sdn
Bhd. C-2-23, 8
Avenue, Jalan
8/1 Seksyen 8
Petaling Jaya
Selangor
Individuals behave in a difficult manner
because they have learned that doing so keeps
others off balance and incapable of effective
action.”
- Robert M. Bramson
• we cannot avoid crossing paths with
difficult people – we can learn how to
cope with difficult people..
• Have you ever been a difficult person?
…..find out more in our SDS
T
TIME MANAGEMENT WORKSHOP
T Time Management Workshop is specially designed to help
The
yyou understand and use the planner. The better you organise
yyour time with your planner, the better you can use your time
for attaining your personal and organizational goals. You’re most
fo
welcome to bring along your friends and colleagues.
TIME MANAGEMENT WORKSHOP AT VENTRAX OFFICE.
PLEASE CALL 03-8062 1133 TO BOOK YOUR SEAT.
CALL 03-8062 1133 AND 65-6484 8850 OR EMAIL US AT
[email protected] OR [email protected]
FOR ANY ENQUIRIES.
8
“FORMAL EDUCATION WILL MAKE YOU A LIVING; SELF EDUCATION
WILL MAKE YOU A FORTUNE.”
- JIM ROHN
Ventrax Views May 2013 | www.ventrax.com.my
www.ventrax.com.my | Ventrax Views May 2013
9
10
Ventrax Views May 2013 | www.ventrax.com.my
Time Management
with Dr. Venga
Remember that setting goals and planning are only as
good as the subsequent implementation of those plans.
There is no short cut in time management. Your plan
should be very simple that takes you from where you are
to where you want to go.
Before you make plans for others, you must ensure you
have a plan for yourself. It is crucial for you to think of how
you are going to increase your efficiency. You must strive
to eliminate unnecessary work and offload activities that
can be performed by others. Use your resources to prepare
for priority work. Analyse the task, organise what needs to
be done, delegate non-core tasks and then spend some
time to supervise. This will allow you to keep ahead of
things. Next spend your time getting the right things done.
www.ventrax.com.my | Ventrax Views May 2013
11
EVALUATING STAFF
THE RIGHT WAY
By Neil Clark
Staff evaluation will crash and burn on one simple thing: opinion. If
you evaluate your staff based on your ‘opinion’ of how well they are
doing, you are leaving yourself open to failure and upset.
The best method of evaluating staff is to base it on measurable
performance. If you set the targets and how these targets will be
measured, you have a much firmer footing to base your evaluation
upon. Before you sit down to set the scene with your employee,
spend some time to work out the parameters of the evaluation.
Firstly, decide on the time factor. You are going to evaluate this employee’s
performance after a set period of time. This might be months, or it could
be a whole year. Make sure the staff member understands this timing.
Next, lay out the target, or targets, that are to be achieved. These should
be in line with their overall job description, of course. A target is a specific
result. It should be measurable; that is, you should be able to put numbers
to it. It could be an increase in production, expressed in units or as a
percentage increase.
Test the measure. Make sure that you are able to track easily identifiable
statistics that the employee will agree to. If you run into difficulties here,
your target may be off. Go back and review what it is that you are asking
the employee to achieve. Maybe your target (the specific result) is not
realistic.
12
Ventrax Views May 2013 | www.ventrax.com.my
A clear example is in sales. A target could be expressed as achieving a
certain sales volume during the time period. Or, for an accounts person,
it could be the percentage of outstanding payments collected on time.
Both of these are easily measurable.
Once you have a realistic set of targets with logical forms of measurement,
you are ready to start the process. Sit the employee down and go over it
with him. Get his agreement that the targets and forms of measurement
are realistic. If he does not agree, probe this carefully. He may know
something you do not! Alternately, he may be trying to manoeuvre you
into an easy evaluation. It is your call. Just consider both angles.
An important part of the process is to do some performance reviews
along the way. Do not leave employees in the dark as to what you think of
their performance until evaluation time comes around. If the evaluation
timeframe is one year, review their progress quarterly. This gives them
time to correct any shortcomings and get back on track before the end.
Also, as their manager, you should help them overcome any stubborn
barriers they are encountering. Top performers will usually find a way
around, over, under, or through such brick walls. Mediocre or poor
performers will have more difficulties here. Help them blast their way
through these stops; it is in your interest, after all, to have them succeed.
If you base your staff evaluation on performance, by setting
targets that can be easily measured, there is no opinion involved.
www.ventrax.com.my | Ventrax Views May 2013
13
&
BUSINESS ETIQUETTE
CORPORATE STYLE TIPS
Q: When a wine glass is placed on a table at a restaurant, how do I signal
that I don’t want any?
A. Never turn a glass or cup upside down to decline service. If you don’t
want your wine glass, coffee cup, or water glass filled (or refilled), hold
your hand over the glass. If the server fills it before you have a chance
to signal no, leave the beverage untouched for removal after the meal.
Q: I frequently respond to business e-mails via my mobile device. Must I
include a salutation?
A. The type of device you use to send e-mail has little to do with proper
e-mail etiquette. Instead, consider your relationship to the recipient,
the intended degree of formality, and whether your message is a
standalone reply or part of a longer chain of responses. On a first reply
when communicating for business, use a salutation that includes the
recipient’s name, whether it’s “Dear Christine,” “Hi, Christine,” or simply
“Christine.” While a salutation is unnecessary thereafter, it is considered
more formal and appropriate when communicating with a senior
associate or an important client.
14
Ventrax Viewss Ma
May 2013 | www.ventrax.com.
www.ventrax.com.my
www
ww
w
tra
tra
raxx.co
x co myy
Q: What is the “silverware-placement code” for telling wait staff you’re
done with your plate?
A. Rest your fork, tines up, and knife, blade in, with the handles resting
at 5 o’clock and tips pointing to 10 o’clock on your plate. Leave any
unused silverware on the table. Another way to signal the wait staff you
have finished your meal is to leave the napkin semi-folded at the left
side of the place setting. Don’t twist or crumple the napkin or refold
it so it looks unused. Never leave the napkin on the chair. Don’t push
your dishes away from you or stack them for the waiter when you are
finished. Leave plates and glasses where they are.
www.ventrax.com.my | Ventrax Views May 2013
15
HANDLING ANGRY CUSTOMERS
One angry customer can spoil your whole day -- unless you have a working knowledge of
neurophysiology.
Angry people are using the walnut-sized part of the brain that hasn’t changed since the age
of dinosaurs instead of the more intelligent hardware that has evolved over the past hundred
million years. The dinosaur in them can bring out the dinosaur in you, which leads to the
Godzilla-meets-Rodan effect, in which there is considerable sound and fury, but very little
constructive reasoning.
The secret of dealing effectively with angry customers are to stay out of your dinosaur brain
long enough to get them out of theirs. Here’s how:
ASK FOR A MINUTE TO STOP AND THINK: This will have a calming effect on you and the
customer. No one will get angrier at you for asking for time to think things over.
KNOW YOUR GOAL: The dinosaur’s rules are simple -- if attacked, fight back or run away.
Either response will make the situation worse. Try instead to help your customer calm down
and use the part of the brain that can reason. Remember, you can’t help a person and get
her back at the same time.
IF THE OTHER PERSON IS YELLING, don’t DO ANYTHING UNTIL YOU GET HIM OR HER TO
STOP: Just keeping your own voice soft may do the trick. Saying “Please speak more slowly.
I’d like to help,” works particularly well on the phone. Have you ever tried to yell slowly?
On the phone remember the “Uh-huh” rule. We usually respond with “Uh-huh” when the
other person takes a breath. If you go three breaths without saying “Uh-huh” the other
person will stop and ask, “Are you there?” Following this technique will allow you to interrupt
without saying a word.
DO NOT EXPLAIN! Explanations are all too often a disguised form of fighting back or running
away. The typical explanation boils down to: “If you know all the facts, you will see that I am
right and you are wrong.” You cannot be right and effective at the same time. Don’t even try.
LET THE CUSTOMER KNOW YOU HEAR: Before you try to solve the problem, let the customer
know that you understand why he or she is upset. This will save you from having to hear it
again.
ASK, “WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO DO?” This question is usually the last thing an angry
person expects. He’ll have to stop and think to answer. This is exactly what you want.
NEGOTIATE: It’s a lot easier when the customer is using the part of her brain you can negotiate
with.
P.S. These techniques also work on angry people who are not customers. Even spouses.
16
Ventrax Views May 2013 | www.ventrax.com.my
LEARNING TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE
HERE’S HOW YOU CAN COPE EFFECTIVELY WITH FOUR COMMON TYPES OF DIFFICULT PEOPLE.
OPENLY AGGRESSIVE PEOPLE
Stand up to them, but don’t fight. Overly aggressive people expect others to either run away
from them or react with rage. Your goal is simply to assertively express your own views, not try to
win a battle of right and wrong.
First, wait for the person to run out of some steam. Then call the person by name and assert your
own opinions with confidence.
SNIPERS
Difficult people are experts at taking potshots and making sneak attacks in subtle ways, such as
humorous put-downs, sarcastic tones of voice, disapproving looks and innuendoes.
You may feel uncomfortable replying to them because you don’t like confrontation. This,
however, allows snipers to get away with their covert hostility.
Respond to a sniper with a question. “That sounds like you’re making fun of me. Are you?” A
sniper usually replies to such accusations with denial, “I’m only joking.”
Nevertheless, questioning covert attacks will reduce the chance for similar attacks in the future.
COMPLAINERS
These are fearful people who have little faith in themselves and others because they believe in
a hostile world. Their constant discouragement and complaining can bring everyone to despair.
“Don’t try to argue these difficult people out of their negativity. Instead, respond with your own
optimistic expectations,” says Bramson.
SILENT PEOPLE
People who ignore you, give you sullen looks, and/or respond to every question with either “I
don’t know” or silence are difficult because they’re timid. Silent people get away with not talking
because most people are uncomfortable with silence and are too quick to fill in the gaps. Ask
them questions that can’t be answered with just a “yes” or “no,” such as, “Why is it uncomfortable
for you to answer my questions?”
Then wait at least one full minute before you say anything. This long silence may make them
uncomfortable enough to say something. If they do start talking, listen carefully.
DON’T GIVE UP
Dealing with difficult people takes practice, so don’t get discouraged.
Although these strategies won’t change the difficult people, they will break their ability to
interfere with your effectiveness,” says Bramson. “Most important, you’ll feel more confident and
you’ll start to enjoy your workdays.”
www.ventrax.com.my | Ventrax Views May 2013
17
DIFFICULT PEOPLE COME IN EVERY
CONCEIVABLE VARIETY.
Some talk constantly and never listen. Others must always have the last word. Some
coworkers fail to keep commitments. Others criticize anything that they did not create.
Difficult coworkers compete with you for power, privilege and the spotlight; some go
way too far in courting the boss’s positive opinion – to your diminishment.
Some coworkers attempt to undermine you and you constantly feel as if you need to
watch your back. Your boss plays favorites and the favored party lords it over you; people
form cliques and leave you out. Difficult people and situations exist in every work place.
They all have one thing in common. You must address them. No matter the type of
difficult situation in which you find yourself, dealing with difficult people or situations
is a must.
WHY YOU MUST DEAL WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE
Initially, people go into shock when they are treated unprofessionally, so if you take
some time to understand exactly what is happening to you, you are not alone. Once you
are fully aware of what is happening, deciding to live with the situation long term is not
an option. You become so angry and feel so much pain that your efforts to address the
situation become irrational. It’s far better to address the difficult person while you can
maintain some objectivity and emotional control.
Constant complaining about the coworker or situation can quickly earn you the title
of whiner or complainer. Managers wonder why you are unable to solve your own
problems – even if the manager’s tolerance or encouragement of the situation is part of
the problem.
WORST CASE SCENARIO IF YOU FAIL TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE
Most importantly, if you are embroiled in a constant conflict at work, you may not only
get blamed for being “unable to handle the situation like a mature professional,” you
may be labeled as a “difficult” person, too. This label is hard to escape and can have
devastating consequences for your career.
Finally, if the situation continues to deteriorate over time, the organization and your boss
may tire of you. The boss may decide you are a “high maintenance” employee, easily
replaced with a more professional or cooperative person, and you could lose your job.
18
Ventrax Views May 2013 | www.ventrax.com.my
Stress symptoms vary greatly from one person to the
next, but the most universal sign of stress is a feeling
of being pressured or overwhelmed.
Other symptoms include:
• PHYSICAL COMPLAINTS (stomachaches, headaches, chest pains,
nausea, and diarrhea, and a sensation of numbness or tingling in your
hands, arms, and face.)
• PROBLEMS GETTING ALONG WITH FAMILY MEMBERS, FRIENDS,
AND TEACHERS.
> Changes in behavior at home (short temper, unexplained anger, crying
for no reason).
• REGRESSION -- behavior that is not age-appropriate.
> Dysfunctional sleep patterns, including nightmares, too little sleep
> Communication difficulty or personality changes, such as becoming
withdrawn or requiring much more attention than usual.
• IMPATIENCE
If you are experiencing a few of these symptoms, chances are that your
level of stress is high.
www.ventrax.com.my | Ventrax Views May 2013
19
ATTEMPT THE QUESTIONNAIRE AND TRY TO FIND THE
RIGHT ANSWER…….. ITS TOTALLY SUBJECTIVE.
1) You’re working at a service desk, facing a long line of shuffling, impatient customers.
One of them steams forward from the back and says, “I refuse to be treated like this. Do
you know who I am?” You:
A. Say, “Oh, I’m so sorry, Ms. Stewart! Of course, I’ll take care of you right away.”
B. Loudly address the other people in line, asking: “Does anyone know who this
woman is?”
C. Say: “I know that you are a customer who needs help, and I’ll be happy to help you
when it’s your turn.”
2) No matter how hard you work, your boss makes passive-aggressive comments that
suggest you’re loafing. You:
A. Say, “Oh, I’m so sorry, Ms. Stewart! Of course, I’ll take care of you right away.”
B. Loudly address the other people in line, asking: “Does anyone know who this
woman is?”
C. Say: “I know that you are a customer who needs help, and I’ll be happy to help you
when it’s your turn.”
3) You rush home from work and excitedly tell your husband that you’ve been promoted.
He says, “Gosh, at your company, they’ll promote anybody.” You:
A. Laugh it off, thinking he’s probably right. The company is a little short-staffed.
B. Say, “Ed, I really feel demeaned when you talk to me like that. Do you have a
problem with my promotion?”
C. Grow furious, stomp your foot, and say: “You’re always saying stuff like that to me!
What’s wrong with you?”
4) Your father, who consistently says you’re a spendthrift, is shocked by the price of
your new condo. “You’re stupid to pay that much,” he suggests. “Can’t you find something
cheaper?” You respond:
A. “I guess I could.”
B. “Stop treating me like a kid. This is my money, and I’ll do what I want with it.”
C. “I know it seems high to you, but homes were cheaper the last time you bought
one. Real estate prices have changed.”
5) The saleswoman was charming when you bought six suits from her, but hostile when
you returned half of them the next day. You:
A. Report her attitude to the management.
B. Feel cowed. Maybe you are making a big fashion mistake. You can’t afford them all, but
you could scrimp next month.
C. Persist with the return, and vow to shop elsewhere from now on.
20
Ventrax Views May 2013 | www.ventrax.com.my
6) You introduce a new idea at a meeting only to hear a consistently negative
coworker mumble, “Yeah, like that’s going to work.” You say:
A. “Vanessa, we’re all sick of your rudeness. You never let anybody finish before you
shoot us down.”
B. “Vanessa, what part of this do you think isn’t going to work?”
C. Say nothing, but lose your enthusiasm and finish your thoughts in a thin, teary voice.
7) You’re driving but your friend keeps shouting “Look out!” as she clings to the door
handle and slams her foot onto an imaginary brake. You:
A. Empathize with her anxiety, and drive at a snail’s pace to calm her down.
B. Say: “It’s hard for me to concentrate on driving when you’re doing that. Please try to
calm down, and next time, you can drive if you like.”
C. Pull over to the side of the road, and say: “You’re driving me nuts! Stop it!”
8) There are problems in your marriage. Whenever you try to confide in your mother, she
just says, “You made your bed, now lie in it.” You:
A. Stop talking to her. Why bother?
B. Keep conversations with her light, and find more sympathetic people to confide in.
C. Finally get up the courage to confront her, telling her she’s always been a terrible
listener and you wish she’d change.
9) No matter what you try to discuss with your teenage daughter these days -- from
friends to the weather -- she bristles or whines or stomps about. You:
A. Whine back: “Oh, precious pumpkin, what have I done to upset you? It must be me.”
B. Continue to schedule mother-daughter time, and remind her you’re on her side, no
matter what.
C. Shout back: “Gosh, you are so darned impossible!”
10) You’re taking a continuing ed course for fun, but the teacher routinely insults the
students. One day, when you ask a question, she shouts: “Aren’t you doing the course
reading?” You:
A. Let it go, but pull her aside after class to explain that asking questions is the best
way for you to learn.
B. Shout right back: “I am, but neither you nor the book explains things clearly.”
C. Apologize, and tell her you’ll stop asking questions from now on.
www.ventrax.com.my | Ventrax Views May 2013
21
PLACEMENT FEES ARE CHEAP WHEN YOU
LOOK AT THEM THIS WAY
Employers seldom complain about
the services of headhunters, it’s the
headhunters’ fee that has become their
pain point.
A few months ago I was a presenting at
a seminar to about 35 business owners
and HR professionals. The topic of the
presentation was “How to Recruit like a
Headhunter” and during the presentation
I made the statement “If you are not using
headhunters as your primary recruitment
weapon, then you are not hiring the best
talent in-the-market”.
One individual took offense to that
particular statement and became very
irate. He stood up, pointed his finger
directly at me and said, “You don’t know
what you’re talking about because we
hired some pretty good people, and they
are working out just fine. And we didn’t
use headhunters.”
Without any hesitation, here’s how I
responded:
Sir, you are absolutely correct. You really
don’t need headhunters to hire the best
talent on-the-market. However, what
would you say was the difference between
the best talent in-the-market and the best
talent on-the-market?
I watched his eyes roll as he struggled to
find a good answer. Without waiting for his
response, I asked if anyone in the audience
22
Ventrax Views May 2013 | www.ventrax.com.my
knew the difference. What I heard wer a
number of resume related answers such
as: the ones with the best resumes; or,
the ones presently work for the big brand
name organizations; or, the ones that
were educated at the most prestigious
universities.
My reply was that they were all very good
answers, but they were not the number
one answer. The number one answer is the
best talent in-the-market are most likely
those individuals who are not actively
searching for a job.
Passive v. Active
Why?
It has been my experience that to be
wooed by a competitor is the expectation
of top talent. They don’t get excited just
because a job matching their skills and
experience was advertised; they have to
be strategically motivated, and sold on
that particular job opportunity.
So, if you are not using headhunters, then
you are hiring the best talent from among
only the individuals actively looking
for a new job. And, there is a significant
difference in the caliber of talent when you
compare those actively looking to those
not actively looking for a new job.
To prove my point, I tried to get the
audience emotionally involved in the
debate. I took a quick survey by asking four
simple questions:
1. How many of you know of someone
actively searching for a job? Almost
everyone raised their hands.
2. How many of you are actively searching
for a new job? Three individuals raised
their hands.
3. How many of you are not actively
looking, but would listen to details about
another job opportunity if you believed
that it could be of some interest to you?
Half the individuals in the room raised
their hands.
4. How many of you are not actively
looking, but would seriously consider
another job opportunity if you were
convinced the job would not only improve
your standard of living, it would also
advance you career to the next level?
Almost everyone raised their hands.
Big Pool v. Puddle
I pointed out that the result of that survey
was similar to recruitment activities in a
niche market. The best talent most likely
will be from the group of individuals that
are not actively looking. So, if you are not
using headhunters, you are not hiring the
best talent from the entire talent pool; you
are hiring the best talent from a puddle.
With all the new recruitment apps that
are available, the big job boards, and the
growing appeal of social media, are you
trying to convince us that headhunting
is the most effective recruitment method
available, was the question asked by the
same individual.
I said yes it is and I will tell you why.
Recruit ahead of the need; I’ve never heard
of that, he said.
I explained it means we don’t wait for a
job to become open to start recruiting
individuals; we recruit for a job before it
becomes open. And the only way that
is possible is if you are committed to
building relationships from a recruitment
perspective.
But, you also have to be passionate about
recruiting to be committed to it; and
when you are committed you will live
and breathe recruiting 24 hrs a day, 7
days a week and 365 days a year. A good
headhunter will know who the most
talented individuals are; they can identify
the hardest workers from the slackers;
they know the ones who operate below
the radar screen; and they also know the
ones with the most potential. They do the
hardest part of recruiting for you, which is
developing relationships.
About that Fee
Apologetically, he said, “I didn’t mean to
imply that headhunters were not effective,
but what are your options if you don’t have
the budget to pay headhunter fees?”
Therein lies the problem, the headhunter
fee. But it is also a tremendous opportunity
for headhunters to make more placements.
How? They just need to do a better job
of selling the economic value of using
professional headhunters, or demonstrate
creative ingenuity in the pricing of
headhunting services.
Recruiting Ahead of Need
The reason headhunting remains the most
effective recruitment method is because
as headhunters we recruit ahead of the
need!
www.ventrax.com.my | Ventrax Views May 2013
23
DON’T MISS THIS!
Catch Dr Venga addressing
issues on time management
over Bernama Radio24 station
@ 93.9FM live every
Mondays at 9.15pm
24
Ventrax Views May 2013 | www.ventrax.com.my
Repeat every Sunday at 9.15pm
www.ventrax.com.my | Ventraxx V
Vie
View
Views
ie
iew
ew
ew
wss M
Ma
May
ay 20
2
2013
013
13
25
2
5