1. family and parenting
2. parenting teens

YOUR
TEEN-AGERS
YOUR
TEEN-AGERS:
Mow
ALVENA
THE
BRUCE
to Survive-
BURNITE
PUBLISHING
MILWAUKEE
COMPANY
Copyright,
Made
in
1952,
the
United
The
Bruce
States
Publishing
of
America.
Company
TO
JOHN,
MY
THREE
*"ABT,
CHILDREN"
FTRXISHEO
WHO
iXD
BZRIBDMCB
JCDY
AXD
TO
Acknowledgments
The
wishes
writer
the
Fr.
aid
and
invaluable
help
Clarence
for
Helen
point
Helen
Frentz
his
Barthel
of
editor,
to
a
St.
Robert's
the
book;
The
grateful
review
Baker,
Kane,
Parish,
Publishing
Bruce
tion
apprecia-
for
Milwaukee,
for
Company,
his
writer;
new
Whitford,
F.
Yordi
Marie
reviewing
Croft,
Aloysius
Fr.
Mehan,
E.
suggesting
with
by:
given
James
acknowledge
to
of
S.J.,
of
some
journalist,
a
Marquette
material;
the
for
her
for
parent,
waukee,
Mil-
University,
helpful
help
hints;
with
the
layman's
view;
Steffen
Zimmer,
Lange,
social
Muriel
workers,
Dorothy
for
their
Woodside,
professional
and
Vera
criticism.
Could
Mow
could
"How
you,Mrs. "
parenthood perplexing?"asked
call
you
of
professionalco-workers
dissertation
I learn
the
less I
social work
subjectand
of confusion
handling my
in
thrust
perplexingproblems
face
to
them.
problems
in
problems, it
which
the
In
I
began
into
to
their
teeners
them.
are
better
you
Some
of
"
but
the
in
the
be:
find misfits who
the
children
"How
to
that
it. Often
there
on
minority,however.
vii
no
with
comes
up
have
many
an
real
watched
with
to?"
the
these
as
old
same
Actuallya
much
parents?*'
environment,
unaccountable
answer.
after
provide for
we
stackingup
we
sters
young-
that
me
physiologicalor
is
facts
setting,and
environments
for
way
basic
experiences,
happen that, despite good
are
mutual
everyday
I
dawn
coming
are
heredity,some
in
normal,
JuvenileCourt
began
same
put this puzzle of living
institutions.
generation
our
it does
does
watched
products of
are
to
the
had
the
deal
various
my
least
house.
your
to
at
I have
few
a
at
job
aged. In
and
it
do
my
of how
I have
after
"What
course,
something
idea
the
question would
twist
the
to
watching,
Generation
question
been
to
my
these
reviewing
learn
with
nothing of
say
pretty much
can
you
it has
delinquentin
much
too
that
homes
own
In
more
moments
many
social worker.
a
all meet
We
have
infant
toy with
so-called
not
Oh
the
as
job you
years
simple formula.
a
in
the
the
to
"
me
the
know
I have
family
teeners.
hope
my
past few
people,from
at
dealing with
is
fact is that
usual
my
anything.What
parent, I should
a
own
will you.
So
help in
may
the
into
effect that
the
to
was
about
being
But
answers.
it
know
to
seem
training and
of the
some
the
on
I launched
Well,
me.
of my
one
reason.
psychological
These
are
the
Could
How
viii
If you
consider
to
are
the
B.?
Mrs.
You,
familyas
the
of
cornerstone
our
be some
helpfulhints to aid
democracy, there surelymust
you in guidingthe destinies of those placed in your care, to
which
say nothing of achievingthat strong family solidarity
society.We have available
goes into making up this democratic
downneed some
We
today plentyof complicatedtechniques.
this
to-earth principles
by which we can perform successfully
role of parenthood.Scientific knowledge is well used for the
able
researchers,but you and I need some
simple,everyday,workof parenthoodis no
ideas on
which
to build. The
career
cinch so, as in any other career,
a few
guidingtips can at least
help to make the job a littlemore
easy and effective.
for parents. The
to this simple formula
Now, to get down
which
one
the
meets
basic
needs
in
the individual, as
he
fits
the
family,deals with three aspects the spiritual,
and the emotional.
Three
words, but what a heap of
physical,
meaning each implies.(Don't get confused. I'm not going to
is going to be "chatty,"
and
go high-brow on
you. This book
down
know
in this job of parenthood,
to earth. ) You
those three
words can
throw up the most
bits.
explosive
let's take the formula
But
apart. The first word spiritual
the
into
"
"
nine
to be exact, could be reduced
letters,
there
tearfully,
from
some
is
parents who
of
up against a stone wall
needs of their children.
The
is
But
thinking.
sophisticated
think it old fashioned
when
to
omitted
entirely
the fact is that
believe in God
they try
to
Almost
three, GOD.
realization that this word
a
realms
to
are
simply
the spiritual
satisfy
It sounds
physical.
elementaryto make a
but believe it or not, there is much
specialpoint of the physical,
to be understood
in the physical
growth and development of
the teen-ager; to say nothingof the care
and nurture
it requires
for these
There are a score
of rough moments
duringthis period.
second
in-betweeners
upon
your
word
when
"
the
daughter and
change reveals itself.
And
there is
finally,
first blush
the
the
first
of
maidenhood
squawk
of
dollar
sixty-four
descends
son's voice
your
word
"
emotional.
Could
How
It is
hope
my
give
to
become
one
confusing
pretty
can't
you
before
indifference,
upheavals.
know
how
have
look
to
Interwoven
formula
matter
to
all
are
but
Minnie,
to
the
another.
one
if
necessary
of
sort
that
emotion
emotional
give
to
authority
these
is
has
is
thought
to
emotional
teeners'
have
You
who
those
guide
to
guidance.
basic
and
There
relationship
between
adjustment
of
portions
ends.
"make
to
the
Betty's seeming
or
can
you
for
aspect
some
important.
very
before
for
phase,
and
you
the
of
go"
a
is
called
and
you
Aunt
make
children
your
things
parental
what
is
ability to just plain "get along"
The
one
are
odds
the
"relationships."Not
you
three
of
sorts
handle
you
these
into
can
tick
yourself
you
right
a
you
this
In
of
ix
this
and
have
defiance
Buddy's
to
in
Still, the
many.
simply
You
ignore.
reaction
your
to
help
this
interpreting
B.?
Mrs.
real
some
you
of
overcomplication
You,
the
in
home
at
is
cold
cold,
world.
We
living
are
that
every
day.
could
meet
three
new
B's
I've
often
in
were
will
scientific
edges
and
with
out
of
parents
off
back
effectiveness
These
to
And
nerves,
of
and
your
to
parents.
for
if this
gives
job,
then
is my
of
the
some
helps
hope
I will
in
be
to
the
little
how
to
hope
that
and
honors
the
as
frayed
worth-whileness
happy.
the
cated
overcompli-
the
take
I
present
methods
claim
all who
is
that
see
It
horse-sense
book
you
to
out
bound
are
fangled
new-
complicated
figure
haste
changes
with
simplified help
there
more
and
my
pull together
techniques
teeners.
your
in
complications
help
down
sit
to
piece.
one
of
pages
come
had
becomes
the
all
living habits,
parenthood
myself coming
mountains
these
of
With
society.
changing
ever
job
our
fast-moving
a
and
gadgets
wonder
in
Contents
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
vi
.
.
.
INTRODUCTION:
Could
How
B.?
Mrs.
You,
vii
.
1.
CHAPTER
4; The
Family
Health
Religion,
Health,
Your
Sons,
Rest,
20;
Is Wealth
.10
.
Teeth,
Nails,
23;
It
3.
CHAPTER
29;
of
Up,
the
of
Needs,
31;
Hair,
Toilet
23;
22;
Care
Habits,
17;
Diet,
24;
of
the
of
the
ming
Sum-
30;
-.-""
Self
Meeting
Arguing,
Daughters, 14;
Body, 21; Care
11;
24
Dependency,
Blame,
the
Exercise,
Emotional
28;
Your
Care
22;
Physical Development,
10;
12;
Care
5;
7
.
Public
.
Habits,
4; Church
Informal,
Prayer, 6; Using
2.
CHAPTER
.
3
..
Example,
.
God
and
You
.
25
.
.
26;
28;
Immaturity,
Temper,
Martyred,
Competition,
xi
30;
31;
28;
27;
Worry,
Domineering,
Transferring
Escaping
the
It, 31;
Contents
xii
32; Sharing,34;
Relationships,
Tools
for Marriage,
35
How
4.
CHAPTER
They
Tick
38
...
Disheveled
Daisy, 38; In Reverse, 39; Is That
39; RecognizingThem, 40; Testers, 40;
Security?,
What
Off
40;
Authority?,
Center, 41; Poor
You,
42; Indirect
Methods, 42; PhysicalSymptoms,
43; The Gang, 44; Don't Care, 44; Anxiety,45;
The Aggressor,45; Stubborn, 45; Projection,
46;
ming
Tantrums, 46; Rivalry,
47; Arguments, 48; SumIt
Up,
5.
CHAPTER
49
Human?
Are You
50
...
providinglove? 50, In
51, When
providingrecognition?
they rebel? 51,
When
theytest? 51, When theyshock? 52, When
they compete? 52, When
they disagree?52,
When
they argue?53, In your reactions? 53, In
veloping
55, In overprotection?
56, In deemancipation?
56, In their reading
responsibilities?
choices? 57, In sharinginformation?58, In the
use
59, In the use of sense
of understanding?
of
Are
You
humor?
6.
CHAPTER
No
One
Human:
In
59
Liking Others
Likes
Me,
7.
School
Play Time
,
61
.
PopularityPlus, 62;
Pick Them, 65; Family
61;
Holding On, 64; How to
66; Meeting
Relationships,
Up, 69
CHAPTER
"
.
the Adults, 68; Tied
,,;
,
..
Functions, 72; Athletics,72; Cultural,73;
Movies, 73; Hobbies, 74; Some
Bewares, 74; Get
76; OrganizedGroups,76; Is It Home?,
Together,
77; Family Councils, 78; Television,78; Special
71
Contents
xiii
tives,
80; RelaEvents, 79; Tra-la-la,80; JustTogether,
81; Vacations, 81; Try It,82
Is That
CHAPTERS.
Style?
83
.
.
.
Is
84; You and They, 85; What
Style?,
85; Types of Clothes, 87; Shoes, 88;
Important?,
What
Is
Passing On,
Make-Up,
89;
Hair,
91; Back
to
Accessories, 90;
Beginning,92; Do's,
89;
the
93; Don'ts, 94
Living With
9.
CHAPTER
95
Hurricanes
.
tention!,
-His, 98; Clothes At-Hers, 95; Room
101;
99; Belongings,100; Bathroom,
Kitchen, 102; Living Room, 103; Cleanups,103;
and Theirs, 103
Home
Yours
Room
"
How
10.
CHAPTER
They
Talk
.105
.
.
ing,
105; Slanguage,
106; SwearSaying It, 105; Slips,
106; Obscenities, 107; Your Aids to Them,
to Say,
108; Pleasant or Unpleasant,108; What
Don'ts, 112; Don't Let
110; The Do's, 110; Some
Them
112
Interrupt,
Do
11.
CHAPTER
Is the
You
Know
School?, 114; What
the Schools?
114
115;
the Teaching?,
Does
Who
116; The Teacher, 117;
121;
120; Homework,
Problems!,119; Complaints,
Grades, 121; The Trio, 121; Join Up, 122; Do
What
You
CHAPTER
Know?,
Know,
122
Let's Be
12.
to
Frank
124
.
,
,
to Start, 125;
Attitude?, 124; When
To the Mothers:, 126; To the Dads:, 131; For the
What's
Girl and
Your
the
Boy:, 137
Contents
xiv
That
13.
CHAPTER
140
Moment
Big
.
Old?,
How
143;
Often
How
Time
Place
145;
of
Business
to
Dating,
Be
to
Go,
147;
and
the
156;
You
and
158;
Emotions,
Stand,
The
160;
Mode,
Conversationally
164;
Sex,
Their
165;
Health,
159;
Emotions,
161;
.
Yours,
163;
165;
The
Finis,
the
School
167
.
Perplexed?,
157;
Where
Recreating,
of
Use
163;
Dating,
Still
Good
156;
Relationships,
Current
Going
155
155;
Community,
God,
145;
Hump
.
You
In,
148
the
Over
14.
142;
Go,
Hazards,
147;
Steady,
to
This
146;
Pickups,
CHAPTER
Choices,
141;
.
Home,
and
The
We
162;
163;
You,
TEEN-AGERS
YOC7R
4
Your
after
heavy precedingevening, dash
somewhat
a
Teen-Agers
church
into
on
Sunday morning just in time to make the deadline. It's always
when
noon
theymake it. Then there are those who are so so
what a shock! Looks as if we
on
Sunday.But in between
might
...
"
get down
to
the shoe
littleexamination
a
fits.And
if it
of self
this
on
had
pinches,we
to
score
better
see
get down
how
to
a
littlework.
EXAMPLE
It
when
littlelate
a
seems
to
start
example
settinga good spiritual
familyis in its teens. Most of
stillin diapers,
but justin case.
our
Betsy was
always sends
started that when
you
word
The
.
.
example
.
shivers up and down
spine. There's a
my
surelycan't be perfect,
great deal of meaning in the word. We
but
the
few
a
on.
responsibility
lingers
Have
been
ever
you
breakfast
Scene:
like this one?
familyscene
Time:
Sunday morning. Mom
part of
a
after church.
a
speaks:"George did you see Ben? My dear
he had a big Saturdaynight?"She continues:
wasn't
awful
that
did you see
in the collection basket?" With
wonder
has
Mrs.
"
that the whole
didn't he
look like
"Oh, and
Mortimer
drop
that dime
beginninglike that, it
a
family,from
Gramp
to
George
is little
littleBetty Boo,
whalinginto somethingor somebody.
This example business is rough, but it has a positiveside
which
has its compensations. While
we're working on
setting
some
shininglightfor these children of ours, there's bound to
be somethinghappening to ourselves. It certainly
is one
way of
beginningto live religion
every day rather than slipit on as a
a
go
at
cloak
once
THE
INFORMAL
Going
would
see
week.
back
tried
ever
can
a
like
to
little Bobby and
the informal
to
poor
scrubbingthe
feel much
Aunt
chat with
closer
Minnie
kitchen
to
from
floor. In
his "Hi
God?
Him
Ya, God."
of us,
Have
you
I'm
sure,
Many
if we
only knew
Weepingwillow.There
the
midst
of the
how.
I
she
is
business, she
and
Yow
might carry
on
God, I ain't
now,
there
way
a
which
conversation
a
God
have
settled
a
5
would
that I think
sure
goin'."
Probablyby
floor she and
God
go like this: "Well,
thingsshould
the time
few
she has
be
going the
finished that
things.
help our youngsters to see God as a Being
close to them that a good old gabfest
will be more
with Him
so
than acceptable.
often make
We
such a loftybusiness,
religion
such a chain of "thee's" and "thou's,""reignest's"
and deignest's,"
that sincerity
and simplicity
are
completelylost. Help the young
have the responsiwe
people know God as the One to Whom
bility
Why
not
try
to
of service
for
and
whom
to
justbeing.Help them
just;that
He
knows
we
respect and
realize that God
to
than
better
us
owe
we
know
is both
appreciation
lovingand
ourselves:
that all
to try, and
a decent
good will,willingness
of gratitude.
don't prepare a twenty-minute oration
You
amount
when
to tell the boss that his raise was
appreciated.
you want
A "thank you,"with, "Now
Pat can
get that dental work done,"
does it. God likes His without the lacytrimming also.
He
from
wants
CHURCH
us
is
HABITS
Oh, for the good old horse and
from
and
Uncle
went
in their
to
own
Ebenezer
church.
pew
to
It
each
past fifty
years from
the
buggy days,when everyone
baby piledinto the one-horse shay
the whole
to see
inspiration
Sunday morning. Alas, the move
was
rural
an
of the
livinghas done much to
Some
changewhat was one of those precioussharingexperiences.
of you might remember
the days.
How
the family go to church
Does
goes it at your house?
togetheror does it run like this? Mother trudgesout first so
that she can
get the usual chores going for the day. Dad drags
himself out a littlelater. Betty and Joey,by hook or crook, get
the two
to the children's service, and
teen-agers barge into a
Let's get
late one
so
they can see the rest of the guys and gals.
This going
back to the horse and buggy days if that's the case.
cludes
to church
as
a
familygroup should be a must. Family life inand first and foremuch
sharingin all realms of living,
to
urban
tribe
Teen-Agers
Yow
6
the
be
should
most
will make
services
special
certain
the
portion of
it is
time
at
familyparticipation
of
of the laxness
hour's
Dad
it.
Aid. These
Ladies
Then, of
back of them.
good reasons
family churchgoing,and
do
is to
now
can
the
familySunday. But
that
is
there
are
try
they
about.
talking
were
If
are
we
the
with
go
all have
a
up
best
for
month
that.
go
to
Confession
for seeing
responsibility
but
"
again
it is
a
of
matter
sponsibility
re-
we
"
PRAYER
FAMILY
"Don't
be
B. How
Mrs.
stuffy,
of
togethernowadays?" some
place at
get them all in one
prayer
the
to
it
Sundays for
example that
be regular.
regular they'll
back
goes
once
teeners
the sacraments
regularat
to
least
do
to
that
that
Mother
it at
and
are
the
they have broken
good. Perhaps the
your
you chalk up the dates when
Communion?
We
parents have a
Do
made
children
while; they may
not
make
least
at
that extra
the fact is
But
to
try
we
special
a
snatch
to
the
all worth
be
may
aside
because
had
and
group
major
its motivation
that
so
course,
the men's
join with
to
had
who
ones
Sunday morning,
sleepon
didn't make
or
"
the
practiceof
a
Many pastors set
the
parents
make
to
try
might have
for children. This
service
to
when
times
are
but
impossible,
this
important
church.
There
church.
sharing in
of." That
is unheard
might
you
the
may
earth
on
same
can
we
get
a
family
say. "Furthermore, to
for any kind of
time
well be with
the
rapidclipwe
enough,though,it can be done.
keeping.Strangely
should
If you'll
I'llcite an example,which
pardon the personal,
all seem
both
be
to
amuse
should
say that I
thoughthe
it. I
it is: What
the
for
usual
a
the
flyin
the time.
give you
once
broke
would
with
the
trouble
formal
in favor
and
you
session
of the
roar
pressure
in
and
down
of
a
littlestone
I
was
had
was
to
it, I
clergymanabout
a
he
didn't! Here
busy existence, we had
gatherthe flock together
the voice
familypowwow,
a
"Yea," but when
among
the
into
very
of prayer. After
dailyRosary
told
going
laughter,but
with
findingtime
the ointment.
The
ideas. Before
the
missing a
brightidea
that
say it was
great deal of
to
we
could
say
it while
been
doingthe
to
get
little help from
a
Each
had
in
utter
dishes. The
dinner
7
might have
ulterior motive
but
everyone,
nevertheless
it
leadingthe Rosary. Granted
rather amusing experienceswhile doing it. An unexpected
some
and look at us
salesman
might appear on the scene
On
amazement.
one
occasion, the phone rang about
worked.
we
God
and
You
midway
in
confusion
took
one
our
prayers
screamed
of the tale is that
the scheme
of
our
This about
turn
and
the
"amen"
at
the
into
if it has
I like to
feel that
dish
with
be
can
be
to
God
maneuvered
done
took
in her
the moral
mouthpiece.But
familyprayer
some
prayers
of the instrument
answerer
even
things,
manner.
delightin
a
in
a
such
rather
into
an
formal
in-
special
washing.
bringsus up to the "Now I layme down to
." procedure.
Does
sleep
everybody around your house say
some
night and morning prayers?That's another practice that
has been
of us. Even
little as a
as
sadlyneglectedby most
"Good
morning, God" upon awakening and a "Good night,God"
before going to sleep would
and the
be good for both you
.
prayer
.
teen-agers.
neighborhoodchildren in for
this? All seated and ready to go, when
and met
the little
stops the anticipatedrush by saying grace. You look
week
and at least three jaws drop in surprise.
Then
a
Have
a
you
lunch
hostess
around
later you
meet
some
use
"Oh
a
the mother
"Julietells me
luncheon.
had
ever
How
sweet
flock of
of
of the
one
children,who
your daughtersaid grace the
sweet!" About
then you would
talk back, but
yes, that's the
custom
at
being a
our
house."
comments,
other
day before
probablylike to
lady,you humbly say,
It's hard
to
avoid
the
emphasison our. Try the grace habit. What the teen-agers get
at home
familylivinglater on.
they will carry into their own
And
that is all they will carry
in too many
cases,
unfortunately,
into it
must
so
we
try our best to give them something.
"
USING
RELIGION
sounds
Using religion
a
thingas using it. I
rather
find it most
there
blunt, but actually
comfortingfor
the weary
is such
spirit,
8
"Your
but
it has
function.
another
morals, ethics
whatever
or
Teen-Agers
It's the
Call
test.
it'sthe part that
"
carries
Today we've gone a little overboard on certain
psychoanalysis,
depth psychology and on
"
discipline,
the load.
scientific skills
other
the
into
"
of the unknown.
realms
I don't know
perhapsI'm the only one who's confused
complication implicationfrustration,etc., routine.
the
"
become
so
is,"Oh
my
and
love
normal
a
was
process. Now
that a good show of
by analysis
That, of course, is up
dear, how quaint!"
hold
to
when
was
For
"
refined
of love that
the kind
over
"
example,time
me
it
from
comes
wanting
to
it has
real affection
to
you. Give
give,to share,
dear, rather than the, "Oh-I-can't-let-myself-do-t
this-is-an-emotion-Ibecause-my-grandmother-hated-bird-dogs
"
should-control"
Where
kind.
has
been all of this time? Don't tell me
the
religion
modern
free expression,and
all that sort of thing!
thinking,
Somewhere
knee high to a duck, I seem
I was
way back, when
to remember
tures.
somethingabout lovingGod and all of His creaThen
related
they tell us that love and hate are closely
closer than first cousins.
Now, I can't understand
making such
lighttalk of hatred.
"
"
If
we
acquire a
can
middle-of-the-road
balance
in
accepting
this
is safe. The
business, then everything
psychological
dangers
of religion
the measurto have
seem
ing
as
sprung from the nonuse
rod for behavior. Religioncertainly
has never
advocated
running around hatingGramp because he always spilled
gravy
his vest or hatingyour mother
because
she never
seemed
to
on
understand
has been againsthatinganybody
you: in fact,religion
for anything.
The
day has arrived for us to help our children
in making decisions regarding
what is right.
use
religion
I get positively
numb
I hear the preachy type of apwhen
proach
The kind of, "My girl,
to religion.
you'rebound for hell
actinglike
must
be
begin to
Teeners
that." No,
done
see
are
with
in
you
you
warmth
a
way
can't throw
and
them
like that. It
understandingso
of life;a
floundering
anyway,
it at
and
way
if
that
that is worth
you
have
not
they
using.
found
and
You
the
to
way
use
within
religion
God
9
then
yourself
you'll
both
run
difficulty.
into
if
Now,
begun
The
the
most
spiritual
strength,
which
you
is
the
to
have
important
emphasis
wisdom,
come.
God
introduced
part
in
and
the
the
of
to
your
your
parental
lives
teen-agers'
security
family,
to
work
you
have
responsibility.
gives
out
you
the
the
rest
CHAPTER
Mealtk Js Wealth
2
"YOU'RE
hale
as
and
Zeke," says old Doc
hearty,"the
Black.
the
in
health!
That's
dictionarycalls
oak
old
the
hearty as
villagesquare,
and
calls it "hale
Doc
"sound
and
in
Empire
State
buildingbecomes
it
good physical
condition."
When
the
shaky, you
underpinning of
look
can
for
a
girdersor machinery
of the
becomes
out
loosened
thanks
Today,
to
health.
keep
to
or
those
Aside
family should
no
of
who
the
lot of
tumbling
human
body.
place,then
the
be, there
with
So
When
there
is trouble
part
ahead.
take
wealth
family physician,without
whom
aplenty for guarding
resources
are
the
small
one
vision, it doesn't
have
from
down.
health.
PUBLIC
HEALTH
Public
the
health
health
clinics have
of citizens.
clinics. When
organized clinic
rheumatic
or
act
nurse
these
nurses
anti-this
short,
In
and
as
or
in
a
"But, he
will
set
cities
most
has
some
soon
tell you
The
public
queer
whether
health
it is
finders
and
who
have
fingerin finding t.b.
anti-that
your
town
resources
a
to
for
is
of
even
what
or
the
school
use
your
communicable
of
complain
happens
physicians and
a
for
diseases.
preventive
reports the
pain,"responds
youngsters
dentists
is
needed.
Brown,"
when
10
when
It
arrange
all types of medical
are
search
re-
well-
a
disease-prevention
experts.
guard against
there
and
growing pain
a
and
nurse
guard
to
leg pain,
case
didn't
Fear
in
up
diagnostic,treatment,
are
ruptured appendix, Mrs.
parent. This
doctors.
There
Buster
fever.
treatment
"It's
been
should
are
be
the
doctor.
frantic
afraid
handled
of
at
12
downstairs
about
to
Teen-Agers
the
phone. It gets
answer
their
yours?But
moments
Your
are
on
suffer,too.
Some
for
simplydevastating
them.
nerves
nerves;
how
of these
ward
awk-
my
The
they
more
manipulatethat strange, sudden overbalance, the more
they lumber into one
catastropheafter another. Your job
try
to
to calm
mad
them
dash.
all the
stage
down.
partswill match
will
charm
up
the
emerge
down
to a
slow
accept the fact that
them
Help
them
Slow
again so
that from
trot
is
instead of that
day, suddenly,
gawky
thingwho will
one
this so-called
poised,graciousyoung
gathering.
any
It's strange, but
every one
little
a
of these teeners
through the
goes
several of
I have
seen
differently.
period of growth
the developmentwas
different
one
as
familyin each of whom
as
day from night.There is the one whose growth crept up
seemed
to fit so
on
us
true, but everything
rapidly,
nicelythat
there
one
was
never
an
outward
sign of any social discomfort. Another
great snakes! Everybody from
"
pet, Freckles,beat
when
hastyretreat
a
Grandma
she
to
was
the household
All she
about.
broke loose.
pickup a flyswatter and everything
One
like this: She was
of her days was
justtrying to get an
innocent
fly,but there was
somethingin the would-be
gentle
the objectin its pursuit
movement
to get that insect that missed
and instead latched on to a hanginglight
fixture. Suddenlywhat
the result of a barrageof machine
once
gave lightresembled
had
to do
would
guns. How
awkward
"You
you
suppress
warfare"
"
smugly on
Your
sons
goon! Look
the
such
at
a
situation? Would
what
youVe
eruptionwith, "Well, Pet, that
this said
the ruins.
done"?
you
shout,
would
or
bit of
costly
while you gaze at the pesty housefly
sitting
will
the
all
You
need
Hang on to yourself!
other thingsto come.
was
a
don't blossom
into
adult
physique quite
as
early
There is usually
a difference of two
or
more
daughters.
in this development.Along with the growth in stature,
is the developmentof the rest of the body. The
glandular
your
there
handle
SONS
YOUR
years
you
patiencefor
reserve
as
was
Health
growth
sex
anywhere from twelve years of age upward. The
The firsttraces of hair begin
begintheir development.
the body. Preparationfor this period should be
on
appear
given by
fathers. It is best fitted into
you
of
the
scared
and
do
did you? Well,
telling
the
them
send
preparationis made
of
matter
should
the
and
ease
makes
this
That
can't
"Now
whole
streak
men
quite take
I
am
a
how
out
best
The
to
son
voice
covers
has
the
razor.
It
at
seems
some
of
want
to
day, or they rejectthe
act.
You
best know
shaving.It's your
task
how
to
to
figure
that young fellow of yours.
for you
be about
the worst
is the
can
will recognize the uncomfortable
moments
handle
phase which
change of voice. You
your
trips to
long range
dirt but the beginningof
firstembarrassing
moments
it every
for
it is
"
help that
shaves; they either
This is father's
control this overenthusiasm
sex
uncomfortable
many
go with
do
and
remember, Dad
unnecessary
I couldn't see
after the
once-a-week
man"
nonsense.
silly
cause
not
was
raringto
are
of the
a
son.
face,because
It's strange,but
these young
be
his
functions
present your
you
the upper
lip can
made
own
son
some
on
to wash
his beard.
The
which
for your
the
assume
It is now
simpler.
newly developed organs as
adulthood.
with
we'll
case,
task will be
your
And
carefully
explained.
peculiarblack
a
them
into
either
in
presentingthe
periodeasy
My
bathroom
now
frankness
fuzz
moments.
that
be
off
so
part of the change
organs
cussions
previous dis-
I hope, told your sons
already,
parts of the body. You didn't get
to some
clergyman or physicianto
of the
names
your
will have
You
sex.
correct
just a
13
starts
organs
to
Is Wealth
space of a singleword, his
times
everythingin the scale from high to low. I somethe
when, within
take the
if my
far too sensitive musical ear
can
It isn't that you
from my offspring.
shrill shrieks which emerge
when
times
don't know
what's coming, but there are
you are
wonder
out
will
very
When
politesocietywhen
out
come
Q sharp or
in
well
for all your
troubles
voice
you
sit and
if his firstword
of it
out
usuallycomes
stewing. Actuallyyou'rethe "problem"!
break around
your house, it is usually
X
flat. He
wonder
14
'Your
duringa familyrow
there
is
the voice
all find
than
more
box
until the
will find that the discord
is
on
occasion,
their
are
mouths.
own
fuel
giggleadds
become
subsides
roar
I'm
There
the
are
moments
deaf," you
not
when
the fire of
sharpenednerves.
the
giggle,
though positively
to
for the shrill instead of the mellow.
become
developmentof
for them.
yourself
the
a
you
I
subsides.
The
Where
hurried
a
if you
of it. But
know
can
that is, unless
"
of humor!
cover-up
mounts
"problem"on the voice change,that
These boys have an extremelydifficult time
case.
what to expect from
not quiteknowing justhow
or
I say you
reallythe
has
Mine
myselfin the middle
"You
calmlybut firmly,
announce
excitement
squeek to squawk. You
"
if
without
familyis
the
it. As
find
to
When
thingno
trick
its weird
trip to the basement
will
child in
one
does
of
sort
recipe for handlingthis.
a
happen
the
"
Teen-Agers
your
the
sons
Keep
worst
problem as parents
into
manhood
their
is in
continue
nervous
your
ever,
sense
is but
the
letting
to
be
ful
pain-
job is to help these young lads with all that
growth.Get a thrill out of helpingthem
goes into this physical
of the vocal mishaps. Enlist
through the difficult moments
patience to fortify
yourselfin helpingthis boy of yours who
has so suddenlybecome
in the physical
Remember
a man
sense.
that much
of him is stillthe littleboy. I'lltry to go into fitting
in the emotional
developmentlater.
YOUR
Your
DAUGHTERS
"My dear, how you'vegrown," coos friendlyAunt Pollyto
be good,bad, or
Eve. This friendly
comment
can
twelve-year-old
indifferent depending on circumstances.
As has been said, girls
usuallyget the jump on the boys in development.And by the
fact that their physical
mere
growth precedesthat of the male,
some
girlsare extremelyunhappy about their budding into
womanhood.
Your
of your
which
daughterspose a few problemsquitedifferent from those
The developmentof a girl
sons.
bringsabout the changes
necessitate
a
revised
wardrobe
from
pantywaistto
bras-
Health
siere, and
wear
so
that
on.
might
You
sweater," wails
Is Wealth
have
many
Bab.
Now
15
outbursts
"I won't
now.
stop, Mother.
Don't
ask
why: you know. She has become self-conscious because some
I'll go along with the
thoughtless
boy has made a comment.
fact that "boys should
understand
also," but try as you will
you can't control all the natural curiosityof this periodwhich
leads to such painfulexperiences.
Girls do need a great deal of your help during this period.
Their introduction
to the change of wearing apparelin itself
arduous
task. One
be an
of the most
hazardous
can
thingsa
mother
do is to allow her daughterto continue
in her emcan
barrassment
her development.Your
task now
is to conover
tinue
Help
again I hope, well-begun sex instruction.
your
her accept the very choice role which
womanhood
is to provide
her. Modesty is a most
commendable
virtue; but there is also
such
be avoided. Your
a
thing as false modesty, and it must
adolescent girlshould not be allowed
in her nonto continue
acceptance of her physicaldevelopment.In fact she should be
helped to accept it with pride.I have a feelingthat at least a
few of you mothers
went
through a bit of mishandlingon this
but because of
intentional of course,
It was
not
score
yourselves.
lack of understanding
garments, for example,which
you wore
choked
not
only practically
you to death but also broke down
which
portance
muscles
could never
be rebuilt. That bringsup the imof buying
buyingyour daughter
proper garments. When
fitted. Be certain that they are
her first brassieres have them
properlyshaped for the best support. Don't try to buy bargains.
her
"
You
cut
can
"
the
corners
elsewhere.
Along with the development of the sex organs are other
The
mother's
attention.
need
physicalmanifestations which
hair
the growth of underarm
growth of hair needs explanation;
for example should be watched.
There
is nothingless dainty
than
for
Peg
to
with
appear
the hair under her
will
have
hair at
to
give your
but
first,
soon
in
arms
her
fresh
new
cap
destroyingall her
helping hand
she will take
care
in
the
sleeve
creation
daintiness. You
removal
of this for herself.
of the
16
Your
With
Teen-Agers
girls,
preparationfor
some
menstruation
be difficult.
can
They must have a carefully
presentedexplanationof the physical
the reproductive
to
change showing the relationship
organs.
will be discussed
This material
later in the chapter on
sex
It is not
instruction.
always the explanationof the physical
developmentthat creates the problem,but the help a daughter
might need in learningthe proper care of herself. Instruction
in feminine
It is a
hygiene is again Mother's responsibility.
habit pattern you set now
where
emotional
certain
which
important. Except
is
difficulties
resistance
cause
in
cases
this
to
throughpatient watchingand instruction,
If you feel that you are
not
help her over the rough periods.
able to cope with the utter lack of acceptance of your attempted
help,it is then wise to ask aid from either a physicianor a
of you will find your daughsome
psychiatrist.
During this period,
ters
having certain physicaldiscomforts during menstruation
which should be considered seriously.
If this discomfort goes beyond
about it. It is extremely
a normal
point,ask your physician
to allow the girl
unwise
to start stayingin bed the firstday of the
proper
care,
where
period.Cases
be
treated
can,
you
by
this is necessary
for
who
seems
attractive
and
girdle,
where
and
rare
should
may
have
the
"bigtummy" side and
You
to get just plainbig all over.
clothes; she blows sky high when
then
all of
mention
should
be
period
part of this developmental
can
an
ordeal. You
the
on
of
stick
to
a
diet is
your
guns
just the
"
a
can't get her
you
last straw.
diet and
girl
exercise.
suggest
a
This
is
Be
sure
physicianinstruct in the proper diet,however. So
far as the girdle
can't blame your teener
is concerned, you really
she says, "I'm going to wear
when
anklets like the other girls.
anklets with a girdle."
Nylons are too grown up and I can't wear
for you it is not
But
the anklet angle that is important,but
what
She
a girdle.
happens to littleor big Nell when she wears
becomes
justplainunadulterated lazy.Why hold up her tummy
muscles?
She's wearing somethingto do that. So the girdleis
to
have
you
to a
come
of you
beginsto get
sudden
into
some
very
physician.
a
Now, Mothers, you
which
are
your
Is Wealth
Health
the solution.
not
take
me
on
older
her
to
exercise.
with
littleof the exercise
a
well
as
Get
as
for her. Oh
sure,
with stiffnesshere and
17
Yes! IVe
mine
it worked
and
like
around
I went
there in muscles
known
been
I'd
an
to
for
"
80-year-
I had.
forgotten
the
and daughter too. Try it if you have
helped me
same
problem at your house.
life offers
Despite the problems,this phase of your daughter's
of the most
satisfying
pleasantly
preparatory periods.
you one
You
the threshold of womanhood.
have your daughteron
You
know
best for what
her present physicaldevelopment is preparing
her. You and I as mothers wish for our daughtershealthy,
normal
physicalgrowth so that they may take our placesin
producingfuture generations.
and Betty have
come
Well, Bob
through to the teens all
and ticking
fitted together
along.As machineryneeds a drop of
routines
bodies need certain
to keep
oil now
and then so our
clicking.
everything
But
it
DIET
Our
"Food, great jumping grasshoppers!
like the
the
debt!"
war
that is the
they eat.
quantities
The
food
budget
looks
too well
cry. I know
falls when
you relax and think
common
blow
you'recompletelyshattered by
another helping?"But the consoling
I have
the
factor is that the most
expensivefoods are not necessarily
nutritious.
It takes a bit of planningand maneuvering, but
most
then that is all part of our
job of parenthood.
diet. Here
The teen-age boy and girlneeds a well-balanced
There are
need not go into all the aspects of meal planning.
we
excellent free pamphletsavailable to you throughdairycouncils
and
of the musts
publichealth departments.However, some
milk, eggs, cheese, vegetables,
fruit,meat, fish,and fowl.
are
everythingis under
"Say,Mom, could
That
about
covers
control and
the kinds
the distribution that
Every boy
you
have
and
trouble
of
food, except for
sweets.
But
it's
counts.
girlshould
have
gettingthem
to
a
quart of
take
on
milk
each
that much,
day. If
you
can
18
Your
Teen-Agers
dishes
pullthe proverbial"fast one," by preparing milk
up for it. Milk
It also
here
providesthe proteinto
suppliesthe
breakfast
to
the front door
of half-cold
needs
with
toast
at
get
school
to
If so,
when
he dashes
latches
on
to
or
a
tissues.
from
Now
throw
a
piece
reorganizethe schedule. Roger
should
He
have
otherwise, toast, and
long,rough morning
a
the other
with
coke
a
or
he has
fifteen minutes
skipthat
bone.
make
Is it the lastyour house?
of
that Roger dashes
out
so
breakfast.
for
fortifieshim
milk. That
and
him, trying to
trailing
you
him?
juice,cereal,eggs boiled
fruit
it at
and
build muscles
strongteeth
goes
wholesome
good
a
how
"
affair to
minute-rush
for
calcium
to
between
guys
candy bar.
to
a
glassof
or
midmorning
Surgary Spoon
lunch
His
fruit
in class. We'll
classes in
the
a
should
and
include
cookies or
sweets
sandwiches, fruit,some
occasionally,
cake
and milk. Dinner
should be planned to include meat,
a salad, dessert
a nonstarch
fowl,or fish,a starch vegetable,
one,
and milk. Here
is a day'smenu
suggestion which will not
soup
"
"
"
cost
a
small
fortune:
Breakfast
Tomato
Corn
juice
flakes
Poached
eggs
Toast
Milk
Lunch
Noodle
Peanut
soup
butter
Tossed
spinachsalad
and
Pinwheel
cookies
Leftover
meat
sandwiches
jelly
Dinner
croquettes with
Parsleyed
potatoes
Greens, buttered
Cottage-cheesesalad
Bread
Butterscotch
butter
pudding
tomato
sauce
20
Yowr
prepared
from
eating away
the
is
type of meal
home.
problems your
diabetic. This, for
a
when
situations,it is difficult
In most
allowed
faces
teener
to
girlor boy
a
get
who
the
to
who
helpthem
at havingto
The
the
is veiy
handicap anyway,
upsetting. For
have
must
specialdiets, it is important that you
accept this problem so that they do not become
upset
sensitive
those
but
home,
at
Teen-Agers
be "different" from
the group
strong healthybody has
outside the home.
had
now
fuel, so
its
other
to
on
needs.
oiling
REST
"George,will
Mother
screams
from
out
be
her fourth
on
under
get up this minute," nigh on
you
the nice
tryingto get
yell,ring a gong, tap
can
and
"
I have
on.
with
house
who
chore
a
the
about
find him
to
having to
is
on
smugly retired
and
out
can
sittingposition
to
I say "him"
gettinghim
that
and
covers,
because
just can't quite make
howls
he gets there
teen-ager
morning. You
preparation, only
completelyrelaxed.
He
morning. It's strange!
once
in the
the side of the bed
for breakfast
littlelater curled up
the "him" around
our
night,but
of bed
out
what
gently,pulloff
pulledone of mine up
even
kitchen
blankets. Oh!
them
legsdanglingover
the
to
them
her
tripupstairsto get
warm
practically
to
go
a
a
it's
it in the
to
real
bed
at
problem.
Other
One
parents say that this problem is not uncommon.
mother
told me,
hers by finally
however, that she handled
fusing
reto
into
he
class
call him
ceased.
decided
might walk
he
The
he
as
Between
the cold-water
or
She
once.
have to take responbut he would
pleased,
sibility
then
for his tardiness. This happened three times. About
lem
got a littletired of saying,"I couldn't get up,"and the probas
late
than
more
method,
teen-ager must
hour
startingan
it is
have
a
earlier
get them
to
Patience
littleflooring.
eighthours' sleepbut
does
nine
or
out
it.
ten
better.
are
"Gee, Mom,
what's
the
matter
up
late" is the
usual
for
For
retiring.
the average
grousing I
with
hear
school
you?
when
boy
and
The
I
other kids stay
suggest 9 p.m.
girlwho
must
get
21
Is Wealth
Health
early.What
what a problem to get them
wonder
television
with this new
to bed at all."Aw
Mom, justone more
program/*Rest, we know,
On week
ends, they
is important so theyshould get to bed early.
7
at
up
the
in
it is
morning,
"
"
be
can
allowed
those
because
Those
hours
CARE
OF
have
of
been
occasion
water
in
out.
go
"
on
Grandma's
in
day
cook
the
Well,
stove.
at
justsee
you
and
least
round
to
heating
we
can't
in encouragingcleanliness
complications
youngsters.
our
cleanliness which
and
where
cases
do
have
be looked
the
to
an
carry
get your
son
should
problem which
should
boys and girls
necessityof keepingtheir
bathing.Care
order
emotional
an
get any co-operation,
to
seem
about
bathing
In extreme
carefully.
very
Both
into.
often
justcannot
type of
carelessness
a
handled
be
must
you
some
on
which
is often
teen-agersthere
With
you
to
"dating/'
Saturdaynightscrub. Can't
haulingin the old washtub
up about
get all steamed
chore
quite a
for the
the eventful
buckets
later under
tive,
alterna-
no
BODY
the brood
up
are
up later. In fact,there is
allowed
the nightsthey are
will be discussed
THE
It must
remain
to
retire
important to
given careful
be
structio
in-
quent
by freof the feet and other parts of the body
odor should have constant
checkups in
and daughterinto the habit pattern so
clean
bodies
important to them.
During
How
period often
this
one
blackheads
which
should be washed
form
jelly
rinsed
skin needs
remedies
is
with
other
tip of
the
Along
terribly
pimply stage.
on
appears
with
a
beautiful
reallyimportant
those
pimples come
It is
nose.
with
of that
the occasion
the
prevent these the face
nightand morning with good soap (green soap
such
are
pests. To
good)
especially
cold
water
specialcare.
you
the
or
rosy pimple righton the
watch
the skin now.
to
be
that
upsettingfor Junioror Betsy when
first thrilling
date
in
arises
hear
in
and
order
hot
to
water.
Then
close the
it should
pores.
Some
Don't, however, just try all the home
of from
everyone
from
Aunt
Martha
to
the
22
'Your
advertised
enthusiastically
patent preparations so
needs of
special
physicianwill tell you
the
the
result of diet. He
should
all
be
prescribed
your child's skin condition.
that
of these
some
the
over
Ordinarily
conditions
a
are
will say, "No chocolate, fried foods, ice cream,
on
starchyand fattyfoods." By watchingthe
pie, and
go
diet and
the
cleansing
easy
medications
and
place.Specialointments
to meet
Teen-Agers
the
carefully
skin
blemishes
will beat
a
hastyretreat.
CARE
OF
Proper
TEETH
THE
dental
hygieneis very important. But despiteall the
publicity
emphasizingthe importance of good dental
stillthe boys and girls
who
are
just"don* wanna'*
charts and
care,
there
brush
teeth. If you haven't succeeded
in gettingthem
don't give up
even
now,
justkeep trying.Not
habit
"
dailycare
be
of the teeth is
included
teeners
in
should
hygienists.
They
reports for needed
CARE
OF
THE
must,
but
list of routines.
your
take
a
trek
a
will
dental
Betsy
or
if you
care
the
only the
checkup should
periodic
At
least
year the
providedental
once
the dentist. Schools
to
send
a
into
Junior home
a
dental
with
neglectit.
HAIR
her hair. I don't believe most
ye damsel's crowning glory,
of you have to go into a tizzie tryingto get Sue to launder her
of the
weeks.
With
the invention
at least every
two
tresses
Ah!
bobby pin, girlsseem
updo's,swirls, and
soap
is best
to
so
for hair
on.
care.
have
taken
quite
an
interest
in
good liquidshampoo or
to
remove
Rinsing it carefully
A
curls,
castile
all
will leave it softer for her favorite coiffure. Oily
particles
hair needs more
frequentwashing than the average.
They belong to the run-the-comb-hurriedly-through-the-h
hurricane blown than is
once
They alwayslook more
type of girl.
effective. Brushingthe hair dailykeepsthe hair alive and lustrous.
have
in the struggle
I can't help but throw
I sometimes
to get
and brush cleansing
habit to run
the weekly comb
smoothly.A
tipI justpickedup, which I think is worth passing on to you
soap
"
Is Wealth
Health
dipped in
flawless.
out
come
Combs
Try it; no
teeth
the
scrubbing between
to
them.
cleanse
the boys!They
forgotten
I haven't
close crop
least every
at
don't
If
their
shampoo
should
too
they choose
to
axle
use
get too disturbed. This phase will
least
periodswhen you wish they'dat
brushes is good for Juniorto own
military
just about
balance
comb
set of
it. A
weeks.
two
it down,
plaster
to
grease
brushing and
the
of
more
solution
ammonia
an
wonders.
It works
cleansingcombs.
in
ammonia
use
23
the
and
use.
CARE
OF
NAILS
THE
John,"I
"My good grief!
clockwork.
as
sprucedup
I'm
to
allergic
are
"
consider
should
nails should
a
have
onlyruinous
of
or
you
some
teener
young
my
all
get
good peek
a
his
at
"
be
encouraged to
cut, but
care
for their nails. The
be
This
every washing of the hands.
it
habit. If the cuticle is pushed back regularly,
to be
to
the
cut
later. Nail
nails,but
are
pickingand
nail
indication of
Find
thingnot quiteright.
have the job of aidingin gettingthe
semblance
of shapeliness.
the
other
some
should
cuticle
filed. The
gentlyafter
then becomes
never
be
never
back
pushed
not
nail
at
periodically
torture.
Teeners
will
but
look
a
as
fingernails.
I think some
youngsters boys especially
files and other implementsof what
they
forth, and
to set
to screech
be heard
I take
All because
quitesure,
not
can
bitingare
strain
nervous
cause
nails and
then
first;
in
fingers
EXERCISE
Quit
your
football
star
holds
grinning,Dad,
who
the
wows
them
everyone
knows
your
every game. For
for every boy and
son
is that
ball
boys footgirlexercise is
some
glamour.But
muscles
and aids in
It strengthens
important to healthyliving.
development.If your son doesn't show much enthusiasm for the
more
highlyorganizedand competitivesports,encourage him
to find other outlets. There's tennis, skating,
swimming, hockey,
Your
24
hiking,and
many
within
area
the
of the
aware
form
of exercise
schools
simple calesthenics
for
softball
and
in
doesn't
home
been
but
are
few
a
boy
any
I know
would
that
come
boys. Since
of the
more
strenuous
Tennis,
problems
to
and
the
ball,
basket-
sports
offers aids
which
in
health
to
with
little exercise
girls
well
as
as
broom
a
at
either.
good
stress
few
a
of
things with
should
this
toilet habits
for
planned
Here
IT
we
of
of
One
the
toilet habit
with
that the
worst
bathroom
is
one
sufficient
the
with
experience
my
a
rushing through
daily schedule
had
deserve
not
was
a
that.
seen
job
disease;
develop boys
I have
group
UP
Our
medical
the
into
age
It does
constant
greased pig. The
a
Yes,
their
simply announced
have
teeners.
inroads
I
it.
that ended
SUMMING
of
be
for
is
group
speed
readers!
libraryso
teen
this
subjectis usuallycovered
late. This
too
years
the
allowed
comic
use
their needs.
meet
swimming,
child.
parentalguides for the very young
however.
comment,
Regularityis important.
your
some
the
in
time
find
can
HABITS
TOILET
that
include
than
geared to
of
exercise
them
hurt
and
are
dancing, interpretativedancing,
A
participation.
group
growing boy,
some
girls'
groups.
Well-chosen
participate.
values
schools
of exercise
have
folk
have
sports. Most
Almost
participatein
types of exercise, programs
Many
fall
particularly
not
particular
liking.
cannot
sex
for the
less need
no
do
school
curriculum.
his
to
girlshave
the weaker
usual
for exercise
their
in
sports
which
activities
the
of
need
most
The
other
Teen-Agers
resources
and
to
what
is to
goes
set
up
the
into
of
sets
provide wholesome
when
needed.
This
physicalgrowth
guard
rails
to
environments;
job, well
girlsinto strong, healthy adults.
of
prevent
and
done,
to
will
CHAPTER
Meeting Self
3
"On
NO!
and
then.
B., that can't be you," say
Mrs.
the
world
ups.
The
Meeting
introduction
consideration.
and
the emotional.
less
confuse
like
of
dog
then
dog
runs
formula
for
be
so
shelter.
doctor
periodicallyfor
dentist
also.
In
recent
years
there
been
of the
psychologicalis
emotional
good
sound
basic
emotional
horse
sense.
do
some
seems
The
from
to
But
dash
"
be
amateur
and
don't
get
to
wealth"
so
on
to
for the nearest
book
things,too
the
on
large a
rightprescriptionfor
something
the
see
the
see
horn-blowing
know
to
the
See
you.
forget
other
steeped in
You
youngsters.
up
Don't
most
is
about
top off this knowledge with
stuff that you
why
a
a
the
little
do
as
bit of behavior
off color.
who
psychiatrists
Junior'sthumb-sucking
for trouble.
creeps
much
the
even
they. In fact, you
as
good. The
not
livingis
needs
the
set
on-
jitteryinside.
"health
the
to
house
the
approach
your
health
age
all
you
it for
keep
as
has
"
keep
to
subjectof knowing yourself.Like
dose
at
checkup.
a
little
has
physical
have
that
cautious
physical
the
by
points
two
growling around
may
you
offers
functioningjustright.The
not
need
You
"you"
the
goes
irritable
excitingthing in
most
influenced
"
safeguardsfor
same
more
even
two
disease
or
yourselvesas
the
have
should
something is
"
become
for
the
of you
one
infection
some
You
must
When
you.
individual
is
now
every
periodicexplosiveflare-
of my
one
behavior
Your
the
is not
the
to
complicated of
mad
a
indeed
especiallyafter
"
for
The
"me"
myself
I to
to
They eventuallyget
25
attempt
to
analyze everything
Pop's likingfor pretzelsare
so
mixed
up
that
life becomes
in
26
a
Your
circus
three-ring
Relax!
Relax
Teen-Agers
all three
with
all have
You
living.
into
emotions.
or
thingscalled feelings
them. Certainly
you don't waste
blood
flows from
the fact for
which
all we
are
in the
emotions
accept your
has
how
much
througharteries. Why
Take
way.
here
live without
cannot
that little artery.You
to
flow
same
time.
indefinable
figuringout
time
to
will talk about
set of those
a
In fact you
this littleartery
Blood
granted.
rings working all the
"
and
the basic
call it
take
not
points
"
day.
a
NEEDS
EMOTIONAL
A
healthyplunge
Actuallyyou will see
subjectneed not frightenyou.
that you know
a
good deal
very shortly
about it than you think you do. Actuallyall we
will do
more
here is to put your knowledge into some
order.
First you meet
up with the very basic thingcalled love. Ah,
that beautiful thing called Love!
You
are
probably thinking
back to that moonlightnightwhen, in the thrillof romance,
you
of
the
wonderful
almost
I
the
see
knowing
ecstasy. can
sang
twinkle
in
your
deepermeaning
needs
infant
meaning
live
Take
this
Over
eyes.
of love. From
feel its warmth;
to
it. The
to
into
thrives
of it, and
the
on
all
the
years
you
the cradle
to
have
special
somethingwhich
find it in
the
the grave, everyone
it, marriage endures
must
learned
in
form
some
comes
from
the
deeper
or
another
normally.
a
look at marital love. In your
own
case
have
the satisfaction
mutualityof give and take
for the other which
of knowing the feeling
of one
gives
boost to get in there and pitch.
This leads to just
you that special
Don't forgetto let love show! A great big smack
comment:
one
upon departingfor work, Pop, leaves your wife in a wonderful
for the day. These
frame of mind
expressionsof affection are
faced with a familyupheaval and
important. When
you are
alongwith the worry you forgetthese littleacts of endearment,
grown
by
watch
it. Soon
and
then
now
can
bogged down
into
one
the
it should
or
"
the other feels he
trouble.
begin some
with lovingself.Real
One
love
loved
is not
caution:
comes
in
any more
Avoid
getting
giving.
28
Your
that
way?
You
can
face up to reality,"
you say.
emotional
It is rare, when
immaturity is
helpyourself.
You
know
that
services
professional
serious
so
Teen-Agers
be your
have
you
to
needed.
are
You
best
can
doctor.
own
WORRY
Who
likes
for
note
sour
a
worriers, who
and
everything
of
to
"
or
into
with
Faced
course.
worry
walk
the lemon
"worrywart"
type who alwayshas a
to the chronic
now
everything?I am referring
never
see
anythingbut tragedyand disaster for
able
of worry is ineviteverybody.A certain amount
have
fear. There's
half-burned
your
leg,and nothingleft
few
to
a
anxieties, you
find Buster
home,
of the
begin to
face
but
car
the
to
up
with
nothingwrong
the
scraps of metal, and then become
littleworry. But when
you cannot
it and
to
certain
are
bound
you
if you
with
broken
a
and
steeringwheel
frantic. You
seem
to
are
entitled
apply the
problem,you
are
a
brake
over
the
red line.
DEPENDENCY
This
is
a
word
hear
you
day. I preferto
call it
that. A
and
thrown
around
in
considerably
this
and the person who
'leaning,"
practices
it, a "leaner." Everyone leans on
somethingfor support when
the going gets rough.The wise ones
most
use
effectively
religion
for that purpose. There
is leaning,
however, which goes beyond
husband
for certain
wife
of
must
emotional
props.
leans upon
the little woman
him
where
she leans upon
or
becomes
children. But this leaning
Pop
so
bent with
leaningthat
he
cannot
necessitylean upon
one
other
an-
good marriage where
thrift in money
spending
the
help in disciplining
It is
for
for
bad
a
when
either
straighten
up
one
becomes
and stand alone.
TEMPER
"Here
Dad
he
comes,"
roars
Junior who
throughthe peepholein
for the
nearest
shelter
"
Gram
the best
to
her
has
been
watching his
draperies.
Everyone rushes
room,
Wiggles,the cat, to
Meeting Self
his hideout
feet in his
and
steams
little minor
rage. His
fun
In
29
Junior skids half a dozen
refrigerator,
snorts
dash for the yard.John Rogers is the type who
like a freight
engine when thingsgo wrong. Just a
his
attacked
cause
can
car
repair unsuccessfully
familyis on to him by now; they let him have his
under
the
alone.
cases
nine-hundred-ninety-nine
out
of
a
thousand, temper
is
good energy. Surelythere are things
perfectly
But
somehow.
which
annoy you so you simplyhave to explode
of simpletipswhich, if followed, can
there are a number
help
did John Rogers explode like a case
in temper control. Why
of TNT
justbecause the sparkplug would not spark?If he had
he was
it out, he might have discovered
taking
stoppedto figure
that salary
frantic over
his wrath out on the car because he was
is
that is true in most
cut. And
instances; the temper actually
misdirected. Try counting to ten before venting your wrath by
for practically
nothingat all.
givingBuster a licking
If the explosive
feelingbegins to look fairlyclose to the
danger mark, what about gettingout and takinga good long
it off" by givingthe house
walk? I have been known
to "wear
the neighborsthoughtwe
such a going over
expectedvisiting
method
is a good one
The safety-valve
store up a few
royalty.
that steam.
to vent
Bowling is not too bad. A little
good specials
the ball and then you can
behind
steam
see
thingsflyand it
around your house.
will not be fur of hurt feelings
flying
a
useless
waste
of
"
DOMINEERING
of these
when
I see one
military
With
his appearance
his familysetting.
ranks. They all but salute
to fall into military
seems
everyone
the master.
It is one
thingto head the house like a well-trained
executive; it is somethingelse to expect everyone to salaam three
The very interesting
times
thing
upon
your every appearance.
under all the bluster,
about peopleof this kind is that generally
they growl for
they are not very sure of themselves. The more
insecure
order, the more
they are inside.
alwaysreminded
in
dominatingfigures
I
am
of the
Your
30
type usuallyneeds
This
mate.
Help
them
be heard. The
to
Teen-Agers
great deal of bolstering
up by the
a
why they feel that theymust
not too hard to
is usually
reason
roar
see
in order
find.
ARGUING
warfare
it
or
which
not,
can
of
But
two
be
can
should
or
individuals
arguments become
and
be
havingto
An
Believe
good
on
their
arguers
own
simplyis a
individuality.
It
tragicrather than wholesome
partieslose their temper
a
occasional
them.
their
voice
wages
nowhere.
keeps the
without
"
not!" Thus
end
constructive.
clears the air and
"
did
for hours
on
go
arguments
healthyargument
toes. No
familyis
matter
did" -"I
isn't"-"You
"It is" -"It
when
both
then
nothingis gained.
If one
the other of you can
remain
or
reasonablycalm, it is
to put some
By punches I mean
possible
good punches across.
later.
serious disagreements
good pointswhich will prevent more
If neither can
control the safetyvalve
arguments are not for
"
"
your
house.
The
discussion
method
is safer.
MARTYRED
myself,"says that little inner
feel for yourselves.
You
voice. Oh me! how
get so
sorry you can
impressedwith your own
heavy load that you lose all sight
brutal truth is that, no
of others and
their problems.The
how
matter
serious your own
problems seem, you are not the
least bit unique. You
simply cannot live without shouldering
burdens
selfish
both lightand heavy.But you become
some
so
about your own
that you often forgetthe happy art of
feelings
helpingothers out of their dilemmas.
"Poor
me,
I feel
abnormal
It is not
little sorry
for
so
to
sorry
for
have
low
moments
you
do
feel
a
rightto do so at times.
Control those off moments
boring
though.There is nothingmore
than your everlastingly
associates
to your familyand
being the
who
is picked on.
creature
Indulgethe tendency
poor abused
burden
and to
often and you'll
find yourself
too
to yourself
a
everyone
else.
You
yourself.
have
when
a
Meeting Self
TRANSFERRING
31
BLAME
THE
It's-always-the-other-guy-who's-wrong
type of person is not a
others
calls the tendencyto put the blame
on
rarity.
Psychiatry
But by whatever
name
they call the rose, its odor
"projection."
is the same,
those around
it makes
afflicted with
the person
him
probablyget a littleannoyed with yourself
and then for this very thing.
It is not always after a rough
now
day at the office either,when you begin tossing the blame at
around
when
it gives you
everyone
you. Humilityis priceless,
faults. You
cannot
nobility
enough to shoulder your own
escape
few
these unsociable episodes
people can. It is understanding
quite unhappy. You
"
them
and
controls which
using some
count.
COMPETITION
"What
you laughingabout, Aunt Sue?"
don't believe competitionexists
are
"Oh, you
and wife?
"Mrs.
threats
wives
into
Sorryto
Jones,do
have
the
set
up
hazards
mothers
It's the
must
rare
the business
Most
serious
a
which
them.
they can
handle
and
two
marriage,good.When
Watch
to
decide
is
a
mature
face
Sometimes, of
can
a
of the
one
down
"woman
is more
is
course,
need
no
because
wife
a
of
there
a
who
to
go
working
are
reasons
out
goes
greater salarythan
boss." If
jobs adequatelyand
competitionbeginsto
which
Working
general.
is not
take
serious
most
person.
competition.There
draws
accept
it does."
Sue, but
not
children
who
world
cannot
ESCAPING
This
work, but this
man
men
it is time
work?"
you
marriage if Mr. Jones is
to
mothers; you know
why
disillusion you, Aunt
husband
between
important
"
career
not
rear
career
women
threaten
its
or
into
he.
find
their
ugly head,
marriage.
IT
for running
escapes!You all try to find means
from
burdensome
methods
at times. These
responsibilities
away
be divided into the good and the bad.
can
harsh
realities of
Reading is a good escape from some
out
for
Your
32
Teen-Agers
his own
find
each
To
everydayliving.
type of reading.Some
that a good mystery story is an excellent relaxer. If you do, you
probablywork like sixtytryingto figureout "who done it" but
enjoy the figuring.
you will agree you can
Music
is another
good escape. You can lose yourselfin the
That
music.
is
beauty of a good symphony. Some like lighter
all a matter
whichever
of taste. Use
is most
relaxingto you.
Sleep,sleep,sleep peacefulsleepis a wonderful escape for
There
is something about
to rid one
some.
sleepwhich seems
of the heavy cloak of tryingproblems.
When
you think of sleep,
"
think of it in normal
make
two-
a
three-dayexcursion
or
There
doses, however.
takinga bit of an overdose.
of
From
one
good to bad
It is one
is excessive
drinking.
into
it.
are
who
individuals
That, I would
think,
is
the latter you
"
individual
The
those close
does
not
type. This
So
him
to
drinks
who
which
far too
tragiceffects
forgethis problems
to
alonginto
has
meet
most
unfortunate
often
on
many.
drags all
experiences.This
but rather to the chronic
drinking,
help.
problem which needs professional
do you get along with
the quirks.
Now, how
refer to controlled
is
one
for
much
others?
RELATIONSHIPS
Before
the
gettingdown to the brass tacks
How
relationship.
questionof parental
What
The
there is
parenthood,
do you two get along?
list?
in the following
type would you check for yourselves
Old-School, BoredLovey-Dover, Bickerer, Sophisticate,
With-It-All, Too-Busy, or
recognize
the various
of
Down-to-Earth
the
types from
the
type. See
thumbnail
following
if
you
tions
descrip-
of them.
The
Lovey-Dovers
of the most
appearance
One
Children
quickglanceunder
have
a
and
insincerity,
world
gusherswho take on
blissful relationship
this
cannot
sixth
as
a
sense
the mask
for this
consequence
give them
the external
the
are
the
sort
and
there is
of deceit.
all the material
happinessthat
side of paradise.
comes
nothingness.
They feel
goods in
from
the
the
security.
Meeting Self
This is the type of
which
relationship
people
relationship.
who
immature
involves
unable
are
33
to
emotionally
give anything in a
two
wake
the
pipe down, you'll
baby."The Bickerers are at each other from morning to night.
if the temperature is just
If the coffee is scalding,
it'snot right;
"The
coffee's
cold."
too
"Ah
.
.
.
without
it'sstillwrong. The inability
to concede
right,
constant
causes
faultfinding
anxiety to children who
live with
constant
have
to
it.
Sophisticatesthe "Ah,-my-dear-thing,of living
is
how-charming"type. These consider that simplicity
and lost all
naive.
stupidly
They have pickedup a littleglitter
children must
of values. They are
whose
the ones
start
sense
datingat ten. "We couldn't have our friends think we're old
Then
have
you
the
"
of where some
of these ideas were
say much
is not
this book
geared to any such lengthy
fashioned." I could
but
picked up,
discussion.
Old
Fashioned
type. These
on
relationships
which
sincerity
are
the
these
rare
respect for each
mutual
stock
that is the
"
other
whole
have
days.There
which
"don't let your feelings
show"
this type of relationship
is that
Old-School
label for the
puts
shame.
warmth
a
is the
and
element
of
of this fadish
some
The
only danger in
one
partner might lose identity
by becoming too subservient to the rigidold-school disciplines;
I am
other things,
cussions
to certain
frank, honest disreferring,
among
of subjects
formerlytabooed between husband and wife.
Fast-movingsocietyof todaymay have contributed something
come
The pressures beto the Bored-With-it- All type of relationship.
great that
so
Mrs.
job
of
"have
man
to's" with
no
have
Let's
my
see;
hair
can't have
your
have
the
I
today
done
and, oh
as
a
cloak.
tasks of housework,
in
familyfinds no challenge
This attitude leads to
living.
behind it.
feeling
particular
"No, Jane, Mother
must
the bothersome
is used
of the
earning a
this week.
attitude of boredom
with
is bored
Brown
while the
an
to
friends
in
the
a
day-to-day
marriage
of
for luncheon
I
bridgeclub, tomorrow
dear, I'm justtoo busy."The
Yot/r
34
Teen-Agers
which
finds itself too busy for
Too-Busy marital relationship,
each other,certainly
has no time left for the children.
At least,I can
revitalize myselfwith the Down-to-Earth
type
of relationship.
of these relationships
There are many
to which
mature
are
relationships
you might point. Is yours one? These
between
partners in a great adventure which are based solidly
on
sincerityand sharing.
They contain a bit of all the preceding
types, but
there
is
a
tempering
of the
extremes
so
that
out
it takes to
relationship
but it is
be
is a bit of the lovey-dovey,
from the heart. There's a bit of bickering
and then, but, as
now
that is normal. For today's
livinga bit of the
you have seen,
There is a big share of the old school
is needed.
sophisticated
in this relationship
dignityis perhaps the
respect for human
bit bored at times?
trait. And who does not get a wee
outstanding
in fact it
will not ruin a solid relationship;
A little boredom
will create a sparkof ambition to do a littleimproving.Then, in
there comes
the best regulated
even
too-busytimes.
relationships
These times are at such a minimum,
however, that the strength
and then. You have
of the relationship
bear the sacrifice now
can
of the generalized
some
now
seen
types. Now, you might consider
of the following
ideas.
a few
of the
entanglementcomes
good parents. There
the
sort
of
"
SHARING
job of marriage and parenthoodrequires sharing.You
not
share in everything,
but perhaps you have
thought of it
sharingin
just that way. There is sharingin earning a living,
recreations, sharingin every phase of the marital relationship.
about wives sharingin the
The
first time
I spoke to a group
if I
looked at me
audience
as
process of earning a living,
my
that both trudge off
little odd. Sharingdoes not mean
were
a
with lunch pailto work
each morning, but is it not sharingto
planthe familybudgetso that ends meet? You know the spend-ithow
who
fast they can
all ones
see
get rid of the breadwinner's
spendingis a sharing
earnings.Certainlyplanningthe money
for the breadwinner
in earning a living.
are
Job advancements
The
Your
36
when
especially
you have
member
juicy bit you are just dying to tell him. Stop!reminutes
is tired from the dailygrindand wants
a few
withdraws
a
behind
wonderful
he
of
For
evening paper
have
Bob, you
you
That
the
juicy bit has
and
then
by
little effort
just help each
the
each
hat
This
will
the hat for
women
"
be
do
won't
do
Each
.
.
like the
is another
to
littletolerance
of
a
father
of
looks
as
turned
of
you
finest tools
humor.
bleak
as
If you
into
others
choose
can
the middle
those
A
tryingquirksinto
use,
the
put
aid you
ever
his
trim
it
hair.
constantly.
can't
or
other.
thought that
a
ance
Accept-
over
of
section
bit trite,but
most
into
laugh when
humorous
It could
do.
satisfying
depth
or
religion,
just simple charity,
"
cry alone"?
to
liberal education.
a
something.Can you understand
simple saying "Laugh and the world
you
had
you
something
you
gives
is
to
to
Have
have
and
use
tool. Let's say you
stanch
a
was
might be
name
sense
quirk.
undoubtedly
most
about
him
necessary
very
choices!
tolerance
of the
One
is
barber
lets the
he
way
Tolerance
understanding.
whatever
the
should
you
accepting
your
own
his
.
and
have
good by hounding
any
Your
politics.
on
The
mate;
your
be
exert
in hat
the trend
Wife, you
not
Tolerance
agree
it, Brother!
to
like that.
Friend
you
You
one
are
And,
hat
of
styleshas taken an alarming
probablyfind Wifie sneakingout and exchanging
moments
like. Accept her little flighty
you really
better say is that
turn.
Hold
all hats?
end
to
Wifie's
think
other. But, you
have
even
which
little device
a
reform
not
paper-
matter
understanding
whatever
happilywith
live
another
is
do
You
out.
and
also.
at
your
It is all
break.
her
them
other
Acceptance
toward
work
to
work
wife. Get
your
a
readingover
give
learningsomethingabout each other's moods
them. If they are not good moods, you might
a
also.
needs
has
understandingto
some
be unloaded
to
"
that he
quiet.Understand
and
peace
Teen-Agers
practice.
the
roughesttimes is
everythingaround you
raging storm, then you
why so many
forgetthe
a
laughs with
it has
incidents
real
you
meaning.
"
cry
Turn
of life,and, believe
Self
Meeting
me,
will
you
find
things
after
Well,
all
this?"
"Can
is
sailing.
but
these
tools
This
and
with
for
it
will
long.
yourself
successfully.
simple
fashion,
will
have
relationship.
we
to
will
looked
that
see
meet
can
you
that
Now
find.
really
won't
covers
un-
from
hidden
and,
out
can
you
you
yourself
in
Test
keep
but
will,
tionship
rela-
your
together
to
tience,
pa-
by
get
worst
of
all,
children.
your
before
you
in
sense.
and
like
in
are
you
take
relationship
you
them
see
begin
can
you
will
in
if
them
You
them
see
hope
about
you
Hide
neighbors.
your
things
take
I
understanding,
common
individually
both
little
the
little
a
riage
mar-
"Can
it, then
and
give
to
happy
a
to:
take
satisfactory
a
self
of
of
of
down
boils
Acceptance,
ability
what
see
some
the
matter
a
meeting
lost!
of
matter
cannot
you
are
and
It
you.
If
You
tolerance,
are
to
up
that?"
take
I
rough
I
around
smoothly
more
the
done,
and
said
is
relationship
you
much
running
house.
your
for
37
have
you
try
at
to
the
both
how
of
challenge
introduced
see
understand
must
you
you
teeners
your
parties
to
in
the
bit
a
parenthood
yourself
tick.
in
Then
parent-child
a
'Tide!
difficult
have
You
which
the
see
have
to
alreadygiven
is much
love
don't
that it is up
up
easier
waiting
to
at
guess
and
watching
you
met
has
teeners
they
will
made
in
are
"
wail.
They
little about
a
one
a
are
them.
thought to physicaldevelopment,
some
than
physicaldevelopment,
almost
these
"
understand
to
you
yourself,after
their confusion
me,"
discuss
to
ask
may
in-betwixers
These
period."You
mixed
you
in which
bedragglingmoments
confused.
you
tick
they
they actuallytick?"
Do
of those
so
Mow
4
CHAPTER
but
some
signs
growth. You
emotional
with
of
for
emotional
its
phases. It
of
change
can
growth
is
matter
of
appear
in
a
which
you
behavior.
When
introduced
all ages.
wanted
First,
have
do
not
little
A
DISHEVELED
"My
mother
showed
but
in
They
that
teeners
have
the
over
not
her
in
by
have
story will
felt loved
not,
and
serious
some
love, they still feel you
what
you
to
If, despitethe fact that
now.
necessary
show
were
common
are
professional
help certainlyshould
them,
not
your
days. If they
can
be
happen
sought.
when
a
feel loved.
DAISY
good grief,Daisy,
with
matter
needs.
crept
them
preceding chapter,you
emotional
cradle
have
must
case
does
teener
assume
given
love
basic
their
since
difficulties
you
the
to
the
yourselfin
and
in
at
again. The
over
it? It's where
only
look
a
it
neck," announced
your
usual
retort
"What's
was,
her
the
belongs isn't it?" Daisy'scarelessness
telltale
continuous
untidy,unkept, hair.
rebellious.
38
In
ring
around
addition, she
was
her
neck,
generally
They
How
Tick
and
tragically
Daisy, then sixteen, suddenlybecame
in love
with
boy
one
39
after another
"
all of them
cally
dramatifour
or
seekinglove. She began to
The climax came
breeze in after dates at any hour she pleased.
her bags packed earlyone
found
when
her mother
morning.
Daisy was going to walk out or, in the vernacular, "run away."
to act. Daisy's
of fact, past time
matter
to act
Time
as
a
for help.This is what he found.
parents rushed to a psychiatrist
The mother, a most
attractive person, had many
problems of
for her to give this
which
it quite impossible
her own,
made
girlthe love she needed. Daisy was helped to accept the fact
her maximum.
that what her mother
Slowly
gave in love was
and a
under the help of the psychiatrist
Daisy began to mature
she. She
older than
five years
was
"
counselor
woman
know,
"You
ness,
met.
I have
Daisy, at
learned
so
that I think that I will be
parent when
IN
she
I
am
seventeen,
much
able
from
to
work
made
my
at
this
ment:
com-
unhappibeing a good
own
one."
REVERSE
There
are
many
reverses
of the
Daisy story where
love
is
simply.You have probably seen
many
like the following.
scenes
block are a father and fourteen-year-old
In our
boy who have
loads of fun together.
They have the most homey relationship
ing
In buildin everything
from building
to going fishing.
snowmen
snowmen
Pop might fail to get the halo on the Statue of
Libertyjustso, Bob sneaks up and adds the perfecttouch. Cars
drivingby slow down as they pass to take a longpleasantlook
at these two
working at their artistic masterpiece.Bob feels
loved and wanted
in a big way!
given abundantlyand
Is THAT
SECURITY?
"I
justcan't understand, Mrs.
buy
her the clothes she wants,
for her." How
a
many
routine.
"A
times
B. We
give her dancinglessons,
and
spend money hand over
this refrain is repeated!
It becomes
million dollars' worth
of material
fist
most
al-
possessions
Yowr
40
Teen-Agers
and
replacethe feelingof securitystemming from love
being wanted/' It is difficult to explainto some
parents that
cannot
possibleactuallyto rejecta
by giving the
child
how
out
feel
you
RECOGNIZING
but
and
their
It
rights.
understand.
that you
the gang
you
feeling
figure
can
work
youngsters.
your
recognitionjustas you do. They
they stillhave
them
the
But
for it
up
lives,then you
decides
be recognized
must
floor you
individuals. True, their ideas may
as
make
As
yourself.
in
own
feelingfor
same
to
buy.
can
as
same
try
THEM
need
Teeners
is the
securityin your
providingthat
at
then
everythingmoney
securityin children
of
child and
it is
occasionally
extremelyimportant
is
Bill when
Understand
to
he steps
againstplayinghooky. Recognize
show
out
that
of
act
accomplishmentsis
Recognition of teen-agers'
of self-reliance.
initiative,
they develop self-determination,
and emotional
growth.
Teeners
Need
are
experiences?
anythingbe said about new
At times
faced with nothingbut new
they become
experiences.
with them. Again, it is your job to help
almost overburdened
the process
them
which
by
take these
stride.
experiencesin
new
TESTERS
This
get
end
is
how
at
with
up. This
will
you
you
and
ticks
Sometimes
testers.
They
act.
wait
this
for you
will throw
to
be
of
largedose
a
shocked.
Of
just a little differently,
you may
course,
not
WHAT
which
to
see
since
you
one
everyager
teen-
do, don't
AUTHORITY?
the heck
"What
expects
if
might
independence
find in your
thingsabout to be discussed, but
alarmed; they are all a part of growing up.
all of the
be
you
testingbusiness, you don't know
testingis their experimentationwith you
confused
so
with
crammed
period is
me
to
be
does
in
he
think I
by ten," Chuck
am
"
a
baby? Imagine!Dad
Furthergrowls in disgust.
Chuck
more,
for him
time
the
decides
hell
show
his
to
dot
exact
defy you to
result is good
I
tell me."
This
try testingChuck.
hand
to
show
you
jump
.
both
are
He
in
saunters
I
am
handle
you
there,
look
one
man
a
"
a
its
might
it. You
with
on
clock
in
fellow, III
here, young
it! think of your
blood
pressure.
is
assert
his
.
is boss.
he
It is
two.
testing process. Whether
a
how
." Hold
boss.
who
is
with, "Now
Chuck
who's
knows
Chuck
you
thing or
a
is "Now
behavior
depends on
If
41
independence.So
His
bad
"them"
show
of eleven.
or
Tick
They
How
justtrying to
found
new-
this approach sound
would
How
feelingof manhood.
did you miss the bus or is your
late
to you? "Well
son, you are
watch
Test againsttest! Someone
slow?" Oomph! How
deflating!
After a few repeateddouble testings
has to do a littlethinking.
this score, you should find Chuck
on
thinking"they"are not so
"
after all.
dumb
OFF
CENTER
Here
is
one
type these
does
disturb
should
not
which
teeners
many
hear
of you:
at
home
Language
"
"
swearing
the
and
Shockproofis what you need to be at this point just
plain shockproof.And still,it's a little funny if you think
of you did the same
about it. Most
thingin your younger day
than others. You
were
some
more
thinkinghow "naive"
violently
worse.
"
"
parents were.
your
But
these
to shock
This
also. I
rugged
you
if you
young
give them
language phase
can
remember
individualists
no
sometimes
gettingso
soon
get
over
trying
satisfaction.
includes
weary
some
hearingmy
name
calling
little group
in
This was
name
particular
theythoughtwas the extreme.
the preadolescent
period,but it can fithere as an example.The
with
hind
beword
all the vehemence
they used was "supercilious,"
One
I finally
could muster.
it each
day, in desperation,
decided
I could not stand to hear that word
again.If they had
brief
To
used "dummy," "stinky,"
anythingbut "supercilious."
this from novel lengthto one
sentence, I hauled out the dictionary
use
a
42
Yot/r
and
in
put the offender
what
learning
of
one,
POOR
work.
to
the word
but
course,
Teen-Agers
I stillchuckle
their
at
found
meant.
actually
They
it was
a change.
at least
surprise
another
You
Have
you ever
coke in the corner
kids,mine
into
run
a
of them
group
their afternoon
over
like this
It runs
"Oh gee, honestly
drugstore?
"You
in the dark ages";
know,
or
s-i-m-p-1-y
living
is
"
have been
awful when
reallyfeel sorry for mine. It must
about your
they were
growing up." This sort of conversation
beingso dumb and old fashioned is their criticism of you. Surely
little on the dumb
side, but
a
you all dislike being considered
what
do you find? Your
children
checkingyour own
feelings,
are
simply tryingto assert their independence,and they use
in the form of criticism. This particular
form is relatively
tester
one
I
mild and
easy
think
"You
things?"or
take. It
to
know
you
that these bits of conversation
their
facingin
are
The
be, "What
can
it all." You
indicate the
know
do you
about
remember
must
struggles
your
teeners
growth process.
three behavior
patternsjustmentioned
what
are
could be
called "direct
of the struggle
for independence.
They
expressions"
direct because, whether
aimed
not you like it, they are
are
or
which is not the most
at you in a form
directly
pleasant.
INDIRECT
Some
METHODS
find indirect
teeners
Perhaps you
testing.
house.
They
have
"George!"gasps
both
have
to
a
gasp
teen-age daughter who
this type of
seen
near
they take
a
of her
distress,they will get: "Oh, I'm
divine
career,
an
some.
example
Others
dears! I'm
of the
like
to
going to
indirect method.
debate, and
on
be
The
your
her husband.
to
long look
of them.
unaware
comedy, sophistication
plus,as she stands
When
she
sayingthe most gruesome things.
my
thingaround
mother
fainting
when
is
suitable for their
expressionmore
She
in
her
is asked
a
their
tragedy,
is
before
the verge
at
mirror
the
cause
of the most
drama."
That
is
play is the thingfor
stillothers might like speech-
44
Your
Then
the
there is another
refuse
this
in
counseling
the
dip into
more
THE
be
need
be
problem ought to
ones
common
are
thus
serious
Again,
"
thing
everysound
some
sought.
far listed
of the
attention
negative about
part of groups.
a
pool.Pullingout
are
collection
a
but
slight
a
more
of
Misery
loves
few
find:
we
GANG
the
Latching onto
This
company.
The
is the
is easy
gang
when
time
consciousness, however, is
day
the next
on,
of fellows
the
to
expressions in behavior
The
one
type that may
hang-off-in-the-corner
type. They
and
the
Teen-Agers
who
are
day
down
boy
not
off. On
on
understand.
to
becomes
yet
conscious
fixture
permanent
a
of
girl.
"
it's
the off
all the
day, there is the gang
gals.In these circumstances
be
dangerous.It is not unheard of for them to
pranks to car stealing,
breakinginto
go from simple,harmless
Dad's liquorcellar,or any one
of many
serious things.
Group
gang
can
associations
of the
wholesome, but
are
it is
importantthat
the members
be
selected. Some
carefully
unpleasantadolescent
of these
inevitable,but the seriousness
episodesare practically
episodesdepends on how you have done your job of being
group
parents.
DON'T
CARE
This
your
The
is the
room
retort
attitude
looks
can
like
that
a
can
throw
you,
if
you
cyclonestruck it,"you
be, "I don't care." These
let it.
may
"Jean"
comment.
"I don't cares,"applying
everythingfrom the arrival of Cramps to the purchase of a
new
mean
they do care. The confusions
familyautomobile, really
in an
of these youngsters, however, are
showing themselves
effort to decide
which
end is up. The
"But-Jean,-you-do-care
approach does not help much. Grin and bear up! The phase will
meanwhile
keep in mind that this is just
you must
pass, and
another expressionof the adolescent
struggle.
to
They
How
Tick
45
ANXIETY
scared"
"I'm
every
is
then. You
and
now
should
of
whispersto some
scared of thingsyourself
voice
are
be
able
understand
to
this
status
they face in stepping into their new
There
it holds for them!
life. It is rough.The responsibilities
of this anxiety you can
Some
nothingsissyin being frightened.
fear
in
safe bet that you
It's a
offspring.
our
that littleinner
is what
anxiety which
or
sometimes
and
see
other
times
not.
obvious
The
signs are
the
pickingat the cuticle,and
nail-biting,
for
The
most
only correction
annoying of all face-picking.
all of this "scared feeling"
is to pitchin and help your youngsters
less tensely.
take on the task of living
Slowly,step by step,they
of safety.
be led into the feeling
must
of not being loved
be the feeling
of anxietycan
Another
cause
the fear of losinglove as might arise if one
or
parent were
planningon the part
planningremarriage.It takes very mature
from
of adults to prevent the children
feelinglike "second
"
such
reactions
nervous
as
"
"
fiddles/' It all goes
have
the
THE
AGGRESSOR
same
back
anxieties
at
to
the
fact, however
same
the least evidence
"
you
all
of the loss of love.
unpopular guy. This is the aggressive
type of child who is always making everyone know he is around.
confined
is not
This type of behavior
share in it
to boys; girls
about
well. The
as
thing for you to understand
aggressive
children is that they are
shaky inside. Somehow, they do
very
becomes
that of the bully.
feel secure,
their reaction
not
so
The
bully is
a
most
STUBBORN
"Bill,I don't know
just like
you,
stubborn."
The
your
what
I'm
father, and
faults of your
your
are
But
that
unfortunately
conclusion
with
brother
children
concerned, inherited from
you
do
going to
are
someone
offers
no
that child. He's
Leo
"
just plain
far as
so
naturally,
other than yourselfl
to the probanswer
Your
46
lem
at
hand.
pointfor
The
Teen-Agers
consideration
is: The
child is stubborn.
"why"? This is another bit of testing.
little
Under
that I-won't-give-in
is the most
exterior
unsure
of dependence
of the struggle
person. Again,it is a demonstration
feel pretty sure
about
life in
and independence.When
you
time
general,
you can
say "O.K., I'm wrong." Give your teener
Again
feel
to
back
come
you
to
then
of it all,and
sure
will
you
find stubbornness
at
a
minimum.
PROJECTION
the
In
remember?
you
must
called
precedingchapterprojectionwas
If you
into
run
have
than
more
situations
"
child around
one
like the
"blaming"
house,
your
You
following.
"John,
say:
Then
shoveling."
you get this: "I didn't
do it because he didn't do that and they wouldn't do anything!"
You
speech.It can be
probably start your little disciplinary
out
mighty confusingfiguring
just"who done it,"who was
posed
supdone
forced to bring in
to have
are
it, or what. You
everybodybut the King of Siam in your attempt to get back to
the issue at hand after Johnny has included the whole neighborhood
When
in his excuses.
diagnosethe blaming act,
you finally
you prepare a speech.It might go like this: "Allright,
my dear,
111 talk to them later. Right now
aren't interested in anyone
we
but you." If it's repeated often enough, it should bear a little
fruit
this very simplespeech.
pleasefinish
that
snow
"
TANTRUMS
a
"Tantrums?
Now
little?"some
of you
about
show
pretty good
care
in
tantrums
of this
time
behavior
is
of life.
a
to
do
reaction
to
Haven't
get their
business
tantrum
is about
might want
teeners?
to
B., aren't you
Mrs.
come,
own
when
something at
to
say. But
seen
you
way.
exaggeratingjust
what
is
so
adults
If you
the children
this last stop. This
the confusion
over
the
put
failed
were
strange
to
on
a
take
small, it
type of
give and
take
They
How
Tick
47
RIVALRY
Rivals
theme
for the
of many
exist and
it
fair young
world's
be
can
few
a
ideas
quite a
maiden
classic dramas.
rightunder
rivalry
give you
to
of the
of the
the
thoughtof
well
hand
this
on
thorn
Have
ever
you
might be
roof? It
own
your
this is the
"
it does
because
subject,
at times.
rivalry
among
your children for maternal
for
it is rivalry
love. This starts way
back
Then
in infancy.
learn the
mother's love againstfather's. It is then they must
sharingof love. With the addition of each child, this rivalry
is, first the
There
becomes
Dad's
love
become
intensified. The
more
go
can
grave
a
of "I hate
does
actually
of your
love
you"
hate
she is
so
of your
love
at
this time
is most
ingenuityto plan specialdevices to make
important.Again
pairwho feels less loved more
caution
This is
very
the other
so
one
will
suggestionfor
one
not
the
feel
at
treatment
and
the capacities
carefully
has
from
cause
hurt. Be-
the
you
surance
as-
sometimes
of the
one
have
the short end
of
more
period,the
important.It
takes
the
"
Mary Jane
Betty Ann
of the adolescent
can
sometimes
that
tryingto protect herself
and
it
of you
one
mean
is afraid
does,
out
againsteither
she
but
confusions
of the many
periodit comes
thrust. It doesn't
you,
if it
teens, and
this
problem.In
rebellious behavior
in the most
sort
the
into
on
battle for all of Mother's
to
use
of
things.
this problem.Weigh
abilities of the youngsters involved.
abilities and areas
of
special
weakness.
and the strength
of the one
Take the special
ability
and use
it constructively.
For example,Mary Jane has a very special
interest in cooking.
We
Let
you.
all have
her do it
When
to
the
certain
point that
guests are
of
areas
she becomes
coming, let
her
a
show
necessary
off her
prop
to
best cake.
might have musical ability.
Help
her developher talent. The test is in helpingthe two
share
girls
their talents without considering
themselves as competitors.
There
where
children are
a
again is the problem of rivalry
Betty Ann,
number
on
the other hand,
of years
apart.You
have
known
families whose
Joey
is
48
in
is
is
Your
Teen-Agers
high school while littleDud is in the first grade.The tendency
the youngest. This is dangerous,especially
to spoil
since Joey
and then, he will want
in that confusingteen
to
period.Now
regress back
the type of behavior
to
which
Dud.
is allowed
of running home
to Mamma
permitted the privilege
just do not go right for him in his play. Joey can
if
is
leave the football
is
a
and
squad
meany.
These
the
problems
the
matter
are
home
run
of the
some
Dud
things
scarcely
report that the coach
to
be
puzzlesto
solved
in handling
of
tickingteeners.
The problem of rivalry
between
children otherwise and technically
called "sibling
be minimized.
It can
cannot
cause
rivalry/'
much
It is the type of emotional
grief.
upheaval which can last
a lifetime if not
helped during this period.
In
normal
love
love
takes
devastates
Dad
and
shun
the
Jane, on
if
on
lost their love
do
you
the
not
bit
one
of
is the
girl.Suddenly Junior
his mother.
to
Dad.
This
is normal
opposite sex
not
the normal
off to
and
is
parents. That
some
all attached
hand, dotes
the parent of the
have
boy
become
other
You
the
in
adolescence, there
in
development which
direction
will
of
love
in
swing
Mary
to
porary.
temand, fortunately,
permanently.It
levels
soon
interfere.
ARGUMENTS
"They're at it again!"You
when
to keep your
out
nose
healthy,noisy arguments, that
Half
matters.
what
think
you
the
next
act
you
they
ever
for
worse
in
methods
there
of
arise
at
the
who
battle
with
handling one
usuallyis
a
coming
worn
yours!They
another.
the four
have
and
just sure
of it is that
brother
sweetest
their
trivial
most
not
are
shock
of
one
the
over
they
certain
another
one
one
The
on
yourself
discipline
start
denying it, teeners
No
steam
and
are
can
teeners
trying to prove. The
carrying
are
wear.
you
your
to
they are going to bringdown
saw.
blowing off
get
time
point they are
minute
of
the
still have
walls and
and
sister
healthy way
out
is you.
have
one
their
none
Don't
own
the
you
best
SUMMING
IT
You
The
growing
feeling
of
are
So
will
of
that
point
tomorrow.
you
faced
may
out
that
some
the
teen-age
manhood
into
changing
yours
49
UP
remember
must
Tick
They
How
is
tough.
with
know
methods
womanhood
and
You
must
than
more
how
to
of
keep
helping
them
both
hard
with
that
recognize
enough
the
are
years
to
up,
you
all
these
get
the
and
them
next
your
years.
of
the
children
down.
chapter
adults
CHAPTER
fire ]/ouHuman?
5
myself, understand
"KNOW
and
r This
.
trying
ask
you
The
test
with
some
of
was
ask
of
common
cinch?
a
do
To
meet
its ultimate
in
one.
demand
every
Who
takes
good job
a
that
children
humaneness.
and
sense
start
you
man?"
parenthood. "Hu-
your
to
gether
to-
said
real effort. It
success.
HUMAN:
You
providing love?
In
"Stand
the
In
aside.
unfortunate
I
court
is the
you
who
know
the
You're
the
The
of his
her
instead
years
the
or
of
are
and
sudden
of
can
hand
when
be
with
into
fathers
of
veiy
hardest.
substitute
your
you
favorite
hits
a
not
uncle
Polly
left
face
for
can
rough spot.
50
the
When
a
their
with
resultingloss
The
shoulders,
first hundred
around
might step
on
the
of
some
missing half.
family
take
now,
on
carry
real, but
as
in
are
helps.
to
assist.
and
no
tainly
Cer-
it
take
role for Mr.
there
live.
teener
By
relieve
to
ways
your
who
to
the
up!
is
children.
handling.Two
close,
as
unloved
problem
a
Chin
are
muster
can
Junior.Aunt
Beverly
There
is
your
are
careful
try substitutes
can
to
to
trouble.
serious
parent with
one
four, carry all the burden.
the
day. The
every
have
children
some
parents do
loss
happiness!"That
my
giving love
many
love, needs
example,
For
it
generallygets
importance
weight. One
the
which
with
job singlehanded.These
children.
of
way
products of
most
mothers
the
in
attitude
see
one
Many
It
should
effort,however,
the
role of
this
attack
to
parental professionis
degree
is worth
you
yourself.You
the
parenthood
ARE
how
figureout
to
is how
.
know
they tick, put all I
talk to yourselfwhen
how
a
Jones,
relatives
Your
52
he
time
Every
trick the
let-the-other-guy-do-it
the
tries
Teen-Agers
long did it take you to put over
done?
chore
is assignedit is to be
when
a
friends,patience!
When
they shock?
"John,what are we going to do with our son?"
begins.How
to the
to believe
that
and
shocker
to
home.
any
He will then find other
littlediscipline.
Shock
the
means
to
on
your
part.
theycompete?
have
are
blessed
with
than
more
Don't
allow
a
littletalent get them
own
littleband.
you
must
bear
Sure! there
for
into
various
are
time, but
a
one
hidden
to remain
one
adventures
delightful
most
have
be
some
ever
child, you
one
Youngstersmust
rivalry.
compete. Try to help them share
the
mother,
enough
guage
Vulgar lanshocking.
the
to
put
suitable
not
drastic action
or
If you
not
a
of that
less violent
to
asks
my
whatever-we-call-it. The
emotional
particular
attempts at shockingwill probablynot requireany
rid himself
When
a
be
stop must
swearing are
with
sudden
a
Patience,
that
behavior,but stillbe old fashioned
for the
reason
idea
swearing.Be shockproof
of their son's
she tells her husband
as
the
round
this
are
bound
taughtto share but
another's capabilities.
under
area
a
basket. One
is in music.
instruments
and
If
start
of
they
your
noises with which
earth-shaking
remember, parenthoodhas its
in any circumstances.
moments
nerve-racking
When
theydisagree?
Are you the how-dare-you-disagree
type? As you have seen,
teen-agersare attemptingto assert their independenceat this
Often you
point,and there is a value in their disagreement.
will have to put a checkrein on yourself
sions;
duringone of these seshouse
at your
hear disagreements
it is inevitable. You
that really
which are sometimes
so
illogical
you are at the other
should be able to grin along
of those testers. You
end of one
the meanest
"Gee Mom, you're
with this one:
parent in the block.
do
the Jones's
is: "What
do it." Your
turn
The other kids can
is
not
your
affair.
." Your
.
restrictions
of
certain
.
and discipline
are
privileges,
for your house
alone. You
activity,
will have
Human?
You
Are
with
feeling,
here-we-go-again
that
them.
from
edict 100
argument emanating
have
the
lay down
to
youngsters will
These
times.
the
continue
same
argument
pointacross,
up! When you get one specific
with which
another one
rightaround the corner
if you let them.
they will
much
don't feel that you
But
53
Bear
find
you look at it,how
you will have to cope. It is amusing, when
much
repeating this job of parenthood requires.Patience,
friends, patience!
with
session
of
patience,lots
take
It does
the
Yet
disagreement.
these
brush
to
experienceis
raise
They can
Probablyyou
points
many
wholesome
to
real
a
after
so
far too
be
aside.
sessions
through session
go
has the urge
who
teener
a
of it, to
trainingin
for your teener.
too will learn a number
thinking
of thingsfrom your debates and you will certainly
get a helpful
into the workingsof the teen-age mind.
insight
When
theyargue?
be times when
So help me! there may
you will feel anything
of their particularly
but human.
When
your children get into one
good arguments you will feel like the end of the day dark.
Generallythe whole problem at issue will be something as
"
ridiculous
as
The
of
strain
before
them
ARE
You
the worst.
the
the
do
You
get
stripesrun?
skunk's
a
lull and
sigh,"Ah
sighis halfwayout, they reach
another
authorities say
interfere.
it!The
bear
and
high.Grin
Let
direction
waitingis
it'sover," and
new
which
in
"
not
to
go to itl
HUMAN:
In your reactions?
How's
behavior
your
are
not
so
recognize:The
parents of teeners?
as
good at
times. Here
are
some
Rehasher, How-Could-Youer,
of your
Some
labels you
actions
re-
might
Leo-the-Lioner,
Preacher, and I-Told-You-Soer.
Floored-With-It-Aller,
The
chest
Rehasher
once
forever
one
and
is the
for all. Let
after it is
of the
most
type who
cannot
unwholesome
to
get
it off the
pulla fast one on him and
when
thingsgo wrong. This is
problems to happy livingfor
Buster
brought up
seem
Your
54
Teen-Agers
be
dangerouslythreatening
have
often heard
You
to a child,and
upsettingto you yourself.
and over
to an
unhappy incident of the past
parents refer over
when
doing an excellent job of
actuallytheir children were
bad behavior
a
particularly
pattern. When
working out some
thinghas been done, take care of it rightthen and there and
handled
forever hold your peace. A discipline
problem once
should
type of behavior
This
everyone.
then
be
closed
a
you do
How-Could-Youer
the
into
child
a
as
has
Someone
parents, being the
do
expectedto
The
Lioner.
This
he
type
all out-of-doors
teener.
teeners
and
the
who
might
be
ones
from
comes
the
think that the louder
to
knot
the Leo-the-
of
The
authority.
tragedyof
better
the
roar
plugs!
ear
is
it is that those
Calm, cool, collected
accomplishanything.
never
part
up. No
grow
of the
problem
the
are
ones,
to
martyr
the
on
get caught smoking.Molly get the
seems
tying the
behavior
life with
in
the
are
it.
Sue
Let
roarers
mature
that shakes
roar
sensible
remain
to
the
is what
mother?"
your
parents need
will handle
of dramatics
amount
to
type. These
These
personalstab.
a
this
bit of off-balance
take every
parents who
of
book.
could
"How
Hysterics,
goes
can
that's
"
the watchword.
Have
you
usuallycome
times
and
take
it
seems
you
to
time, you
do
you have had
justcan't take another
it all
will
need
have
and
that much
to
handle
later
over
to
the
best ways
to reach
with another parent of
to
surprised
behavior
will have
you
Floored-With-It-Aller
when
whatever
it, because
these times
want
felt like the
get
bad
day
particularly
thing.But you have to
you at
reasonablywell if you don't
find that Mrs.
And
difficulty.
a
all of the
One
a
of
the
little chat
encouragedand
same
problemsyou
teen-ager. You'll be
has
Brightside
the
by them. Remember,
problem,unless there is
if there is, get
Ah, for the Preacher.
have
to
isn't floored
of
floored
are
is
perpendicular
a
throws
teener
your
of the horizontal.
out
The
a
If you
on.
times?
at
Don't
some
you
outside
no
a
teen-ager
serious
can
be
emotional
help.
furious when
get perfectly
Are
55
preachingwhen
simply trying to discuss and explainthings?But if it
like preachingto them
pleasedo somethingabout the
your youngsters
you are
sounds
tone
Human?
"You
the attitude that you
assume
are
"
voice, the
of
manner,
and
impression.Interpretation
word-for-word
routines
are
whatever
or
it
that
is
gives the
is good, but rigid,
explanation
ineffective.
most
the I-Told-You-Soer, is another
or
perennialpessimist,
serve
problem.If you expect bad behavior in your offspring,
you deto get it. Chin
Sure, there are trying
up! Be an optimist.
but yours is to understand.
when
moments
theytest things,
The
ARE
HUMAN:
You
emancipation?
"We
reallyare supposed to be helping our children gain
and more
more
independenceand securityso they can leave us."
That is it. In effect you are
pushing them away from you by
Too
rarelydo you sit down
aidingthem to gain independence.
admitted pointthe job as parents.Have
and look over
you ever
In
blank
that your
role
must
be unselfish? You
have
continued
no
rightsto your children's dependence upon you after you have
helped them to stand alone. Looked at in that light the teens
last stand before they
It is the one
should be a very rich period.
take on life singlehanded.
of many
have known
You
instances of young
people
certainly
"
who
tied
were
to
Mamma's
apron
These
strings.
are
the
cases
completelyincapableof allowinga boy or
independent.You may know many who have
girlto become
hung on to their parents so longthat theyhave become incapable
considered
of standingalone. These individuals are
dependent
that it
adults. It is extremelyimportant for you to understand
would
be better for your children if you gave them
a
healthy
that they are
shove out of your lives rather than hang on
so
where
never
mothers
able
In the
to
are
mature.
we
precedingchapter,
that adolescents
should
be made
have
for
again.It
mentioned
very
the
briefly
parents of the opposite sex.
is your
This
love
point
from
job to keep that feeling
56
Teen-Agers
Your
Mother,
becoming overbalanced.
leave you when
he is ready.Many
of marriage because
to make
a
success
son
his overattachment
from
wish
can
for
released
never
was
point has
been
not
or
thingany mother
daughteris that they have
and
son
he
unable
has been
man
best
emphasizedenough.The
"
a
This
mother.
to
helpyour
those knots and
untie
father
any
"
mature,
a
stable adulthood.
The
permanent stringson
rightsto any
job and your
independentof you.
you have no
children. Your
big
is that
remember
thing to
your
"
job is to helpyour teeners become
In overprotection?
related to the tied-to-the-apron-stri
is closely
Overprotection
forbid! but are you the kind that indulges
Heaven
relationship.
littledarling"?
in, "Oh that naughty boy, did he hurt Mamma's
live your children's lives for them. Certainly
You
cannot
you
for
do not like to see your youngsters hurt, but it is impossible
If you guard them
you to protectthem from the realitiesof living.
doing
againstevery littlesacrifice and disappointment,
you are
learn to take pain as well
harm. They must
them immeasurable
become
Let them
as
independentin this as in other
pleasure.
things.You can't protect them forever from the cold, hard
teach
them
how
to
of adulthood:
can
responsibilities
you
hardest
"
accept them.
developingresponsibilities?
In order to accomplishemancipation,you must
of responsibility.
to developa sense
teeners
They
In
test
the decisions
out
judgment will
trial and
be
A
error.
to
make
you
a
choice
his
job,while
it
his home, and
The
he
hazards
stillwas
of
a
paid a
this
job was
morning
make.
to
to
were
make
testingis
lad
was
When
route.
paper
raised with his Dad,
in
a
gettingup
pointedout
a
of their
route.
The
to
tHeir
Sometimes
young
your
will have
a
afternoon
or
littlebetter,was
health
allowed
of
choice
own
necessitated his
to
them
bad. Much
good,sometimes
simpleexample of this: A
questionof takingon
was
allow
allow
lowed
althe
there
morning
district quite far from
at
in
choice. He
four in the
morning.
the discussion,but
chose
the
morning
Are
After three months
route.
he could
stand the
not
what
he
His
to
route
because
up
"I guess,
after all." Such is
was,
decide
let them
you
give it
comment
the afternoon
happens when
often
forced
was
earlyhours.
taken
Dad, I should have
57
Human?
You
for themselves.
in making choices.
responsibilities
clothes,make decisions regarding
They should choose their own
other areas.
and in many
They
part-timejobs,hobby pursuits,
Teen-agerswant
should
to
assume
be
In their
encouragedto
readingchoices?
"Gadzooks!
magazine
is this?" you
what
out
their initiative.
show
under
from
the
mattress
ceiling,
justsit down and
why? Maybe it didn't happen to
hit the
it did. Can
ten
growing up?
found
on
a
have
you drag a battered
bed. Don't
of someone's
as
a
good laugh.You
probably almost fainted
pulps dealingwith love and
doubt,
no
yourself,
Ask
if he
the offender
or
"No!
it
she liked
dumb
was
Actuallyyou
readingare not acquiredovernight.
dren
for providinggood books for your chilthe responsibility
books.
And I don't mean
comic
longbefore the teen period.
will have to give them somethingthat will be so satisfying
Choices
have
You
do
confessions
very
will probablybe,
magazine.Your answer
slush." Quite descriptive!
to
have
she
choosyabout your literature.
to find this strange choice
surprised
are
you should not be too
the part of your teener.
with
when
room.
the
as
know
you, but nine chances out of
similar incident when
you were
mother
Your
in your
away
You
But
remember
of those
one
stowed
you
say,
make
in
the comic
parents who
read
not
or
are
find much
have
dull in
books
not
the faintest idea what
reading.I
time
comparison.I
for
realize
some
have
talked
their children
parents themselves
reading,but there are
much
and conversely,
so
so
many
of worth
printedword
that parents must
it
be gained from
to
give considerable
thoughtto book selections.
aids for you in this parental
There are really
job.This
many
in developing
true
is particularly
readinghabits. Public libraries
are
easilyaccessible;most neighborhoodshave them within a
hazards
in the
"
"
58
Your
moderately close
occasionally
distance.
should
or
"
there, they have
librarian
which
so
for school reference
"
opportunity
familiar. Another
the property of others, a
of
sense
learned
throughusing books
Speakingof reading,there is
fortunate
are
avoid
can
enough
the
sports section,
is
so
that
perhaps,
in
with
Respect
in
for
caring for books
habit. If you
several sections, you
read
to
who
It's good
well-trained
a
newspaper
going
on
While
library.
with
paper
decide
can
the sports section.
glanceat
the
Dad
a
the
also the
work.
care.
importance
of who
arguments
first.Junior and
over
have
to
of book
from
library
important aspect
most
is that
let
to
some,
"
encouraging the libraryhabit
are
the
visit
must
teeners
good reading tips
not
are
do
The
excellent
an
give them
you
Teen-Agers
is
which
going
section
get first
to
trainingfor Dad
Junior can
get
a
to
take
little practice
Then
items.
lookingover the editorials and news
try, "What's
will be surprisedat the comments
in the papers?"You
new
and openings you will get for long discussions.
in
If
a
good
and
find
you
look
you
of
one
the book.
at
it to
owe
yours
and
inspiration
with
There
a
is
nose
a
book,
at
least take
in good reading,
inspiration
teen-agers
your
in
to
help
them
both
to
the
the
You
do not have to be afraid they
pleasure.
will think you are
stuffyif you make suggestions.You will be
interest
and evaluations
surprisedwith teen-agers'
delightfully
of good books.
ARE
In
sharinginformation?
Do
to
of
to
of
HUMAN:
You
you,
Mother
and
Dad,
keep
most
of the
information
garding
re-
familymatters from your teeners? There are comparatively
few familyaffairs which
should not be common
knowledge
of the family.
for example the question
Take
every member
Why should the children think there is a fortune
money.
be spent, if there is but a penny? Let
yours in on the state
affairs around
feel that
they have
your
a
house.
right
to
Let
know
your
how
teeners
the
know
that
you
familygets along
Teen-Agers
Your
60
them
1.
Give
2.
Recognize
their
on
shock
Watch
always
harp
for
of
sense
they
rebel,
when
humor
argue.
Guard
reactions.
of
matter
a
behavior;
past
order;
when
hysterics
and
nagging
constantly
against
things
and
preaching
opening
re-
go
letting
down.
you
5.
and
own
your
roaring
wrong;
and
disagree,
a
get
don't
and
accomplishments,
their
understanding
you,
4.
security.
weaknesses.
Use
3.
and
love
Give
them
6.
Share
the
7.
Above
the
chance
independent,
become
to
mature
adults.
of
sense
These
HUMAN?
joys
all,
humor
tips
use
in
should
and
the
the
of
sorrows
tools
of
parental
help
you
family
life
understanding,
with
them.
acceptance,
and
role.
answer
the
question:
ARE
You
it
CHAPTER
Others
JCik'wg
6
"JEEPS!why
include
to
try
blah! They
t-i-v-e-1-y
the
committee
others
with
livingin
of
then, there
like
be
type who
the
that
finds
ONE
The
You
can
would
They
Usually
some
is
for
afraid
the
of
brow
some
and
now
It is important
the
than
make
to
sour-puss
It
is
good relationships
years
people. Let's
conspicuous by
child
their
though
as
their
hang
around
the
fringe of
by
are
latches
who
girlor boy
the
means
no
filled with
takes
insecure
take
in
a
a
absence.
and
look
to
home
She
61
as
a
not
She
love
only
and
feels
them
dragging
the
problem.
of turbulence,
nice
big
hole
they
consequence
Nancy.
where
a
group.
the
overabundance
an
at
the
drags
on
solution
thing
some-
shadow.
own
and
them
to
on
by digging themselves
react
are
relationships.
to
comes
behind
the
it is
They
beaten
it
from
soul
teeners
shelter.
quiet
around.
go
of
business
them
at
who
kind
the teen
some
getting along
downright boring.
plightwhen
sad
a
out
ones
but
refreshing,
When
help
happiness.
charityof
along.The
to
rather
are
teeners
and
peace
type anywhere. They appear
jump
the
are
is in
the
see
to
Though
relationships.
islands
uns'"
and
ME
LIKES
martyr
kick
a
of
large share
of
enough
for
of
instead
isle for
"we
nothin'," buzzes
likingpeople. This
up
p-o-s-i-
are
hop. Perhaps Nancy
I-like-people
type
for their future
No
back
upon
desert
a
particularly
important
now
the
made
just not
are
to
based
be
society is
our
on
life is like that. A
must
might
you
pat
a
fit in, but
them
school
They
from
anything
a
they plan
as
stand
could
Bob
like
don't
Bob?
and
Nancy
could
well
security
are
be
are
rejected,but
Yot/r
62
she is unwanted.
from
justdid
years, she has learned to withdraw
friends in books but she
have found
the
Over
She
contacts.
may
find human
not
Teen-Agers
relationships
easy
make.
to
Why?
of
of fear of hurt, lack of confidence, feelings
just simple dislike based
or
closest
inferiority,
relationship
her.
to
There
experience in the
on
cause
Be-
who
other Nancies
are
given love, but
were
still
who
nobodyresulting
loves-me
attitude. These
youngsters need your help.It is not
always possiblefor you to learn why they feel so generally
but we
left out of things,
cannot
emphasizetoo often the wisdom
of seekinghelp in uncovering earlyproblems such as these.
hit
a
termed)
have
the
common
sightof
lost
teener
the
into
The
action.
If you
specialist.
the
false
don't know
to
Sometimes
telephonitis.
use.
a
it is
it is
sometimes
likes
one
limits
is not
Popularity
big smile, throw
conversation, and
not
a
mix
one
one
you
popular
the
sharingand
these multitudinous
to
a
give
phone
tele-
pet peeve
an
which
rest
the
of
its
if necessary.
one
can
thoroughlyfor
comes
the
on
opportunityof sharingin
handshake, add
which
in the
teeners
imposition
an
thingof
a
Our
Belle knows
Susie
some
conversations
on
in
do.
going to
are
we
regardingteener's
it is
unbelievably
funny;sometimes
telephoneoffers
Place time
mixture, but
down
come
parents have
calls,many
family.The
learned
they have
means
take of life.But
annoying;
your
phone and the doorbell.
popular,"runs the conversation in
just too
are
what
gabfestsamong mothers. Now,
to find your
bragging.It is satisfying
and
see
For
the
getting bellitis between
bracket. It
who
for it.
come
of those
are
that "no
impression
has
time
Susie Belle, I
"Really,
youngsters
those of you
are
(so
PLUS
POPULARITY
I'm
old-fashioned
experience in rearing children.
problems,get
laboringunder
me," get
it. There
see
Grandma's
serious
more
can
sense,
a
her
with
Grandma,
old
dear
Sometimes
line with
along the
somewhere
snag
by
say, "Now
you
take
heaping amount
It takes
popularity."
way
a
of
a
recipe.The
of
a
few
Liking Others
63
for popularity
are, however, rather simple.
ingredients
No
The firstis interest in peoplebased on honest curiosity.
of
sort
the busybody, nose-in-everyone's-affairs
I don't mean
This is based on
interest in learning
somethingabout
curiosity!
teristics,
and characdifferences in cultures,individual accomplishments
which
and all the other elements
go into make-up.
Warmth
another aid to popularity.
Warmth
and friendliness
are
basic
"
is that
has
certainly
which
those
in
who
it than
have
you,
feel nice and
But
young
it is
ones
with
out
came
color tint do you
she
has
overwhelmed
been
now?"
she
was
and
young
is
middle
confidence
in
the
methods
own
your
be mixed
How
Tact
when
is
heart
cannot
of your
one
to
devastating
that
Surely
tact.
I like your
Minnie
Mr.
nice
hair.
poor Aunt
Jones
to
quite important, even
the uncolored
choke
with
off with
truth
remains
determined
oversimperingand
who
use
oversimperingones
from
comes
all have
Aunt
road here between
important.The
never
to
wanted
gay.
though the temptation to say
lurkinglittleimp you have to
A
better
individuals
the
are
occasions
on
"Why,
use
since
Minnie, especially
think
described
prettyimportant.
be effective,
warmth
to
have
What
be
can
itself;they
in
inside. You
comfortable
reactingto it,but
you
It
define, but
to
"I accept
simplesinceritygivesforth a subtle, pleasant,
which
makes
understand
one
you, and like you" feeling
whose
of
plus values.
its
is hard
which
element
nontemperature
that
force.
brutal frankness
which
flattery
expect others
to
have
them.
valuable to good relationships.
ingredient
The ability
much
if it is exercised
to provoke a laugh is worth
with ease
and naturalness. Certainly
provokinglaughterat the
of another's embarrassment
is not
good, but skill in
expense
twist which
is amusing
sayingand doingthingswith a twinkling
and refreshing
is an
asset
to good relationships.
how
written
Books
have been
to be popular,
but space
on
does not allow for a long treatment
of the subject
here. The few
suggestionsoffered can help in making fairly
acceptable
impressions
make your children popular,
others. You cannot
but you
on
Sense
of humor
is
an
64
Teen-Agers
Your
help them
can
At
times
will all have
you
between
Of
HOLDING
that state.
example,the
ence
differ-
ON
of yours.
one
whole
for
reach
old
good
"My word, Barbara,
to
point out,
to
to
"
own
say
it takes
as
"catting"
opposed to friendlyinterest.
here it goes again
Are you acceptable
to others in
relationships?
course,
your
of what
developsome
It boils down
the
to
befell you?" You
might
catastrophe
looks as though the weight of the
Barbara
had
universe
what
been
lowered
most
"awful"
unto
sagging shoulders.
Mary Lou and she
her
incident
"
longerfriends because they disagreedon whose nose was
the longer,
the shorter,the wider, or the straighter.
Most
to get along with
inability
people is about as sillyas
are
no
that. These
youngsters
know
You
relationships.
of
have
ours
from
to
be
told how
experience that
handle
to
takes
it
some
"taking"to get alongwith others. They must
learn that also. Again, like most
of your
training,your help
have
started way
children
in making friends should
to your
back
when
playing in sandboxes, pullingwheeled
they were
outside
toys, and takingon the first experienceof relationships
the familygroup. Now
role you play in helpingthem
in whatever
to mix with others
help them to understand
acceptance. Many
fails justbecause
is expectedfrom it. But
too much
a relationship
givingin
as
well
as
"
since
all have
we
You
perfection.
"Where
same
human
our
perhaps have
scale
and
of
it is
to
cannot
expect
jog yourselfsometimes
here, what
I feel let down
on
feeling
prevail
that
frailties one
did
I do
to
to
find
by
ing,
say-
make
the
the other side of the
acceptance
important
to
and
learn
ing
Balancrelationship."
portant;
understandingis reallyimit early.
Making friends and holdingthem does take effort. You can't
sideration
by while everythingrolls placidlyyour way. Conjustsit lazily
twinkle in the
a pleasant
courtesy, Christian charity,
of the things
interest, and understanding
are
some
eye, sincerity,
it takes
to
make
'em
and
hold
'em.
Liking Others
How
PICK
TO
65
THEM
problem,Mother and Dad. Over and over
that sometime
will remember
You
you hear, "Bad companions."
back we
talked about "projection"that habit of blaming others
of the
friends offers one
for things.
Well, this matter of selecting
on
greatest chances for projection
your part. Unpleasantas the
that your darlings
fact is, you do fear to admit to yourselves
Now
comes
your
"
have
chosen
them
the foundation
peoplefor
Here
is
mother
new
are
which
helpthem
should
failed to
you
give
thingsand
evaluate
themselves.
example of
an
what
I
mean
teen-age girlbecame
said,"She
was
it's not
and
"
either. A
of the facts which
some
A broken
home
quite
a
a
rare
ample
ex-
problem. Her
girlherself
there
was
no
combination
in
a
third. It
real church
her
led to her
choices:
the
of these and
hate
well have
may
a merry-gobeginningof her teens; religion
mother
embracing one, the father another, and
at
the
round, with
the
because
companions
until she met this crowd at school."
allright
father said,"I noticed the change when
she transferred to
school and met
this crowd
of bad companions."
But here
Her
a
undesirable
was
an
attendance.
It
in
came
other factors caused
parents, and
affair at
erratic
her
best
"
spurts. The
to
steal,run
become
generallyunhappy. Her
not
good, it is true. But the real problem is:
companions were
is: "She lacked
answer
"Why did she choose them?" The simplest
sound foundation
in her rearing."
There is a real difference between
and problem
teen pranksters
teeners, even
thougheach can be rather troublesome at times. The
normal run-of-the-mill escapadesof a group can
be flooring.
The
brightside is that they are but temporary outbursts. A group of
youngsters all with equallygood backgrounds can
get into a
disturbs the best parentalequilibrium.
"shocker," which
Take
this one
for example.Six boys find a free afternoon with nothing
away,
specialto
to my
up
do. One
house.
Mom
of them
has
somethingto do,
so
gone
cook
suggests,"Come
on
guys, let's go
meeting."They have to
they do. It is a hair-raiser!
to
a
cook
Bud
66
Yowr
suggests the rumpus
Teen-Agers
room
try the
various
six sets
of parents each with
drinks.
They
have
not
The
been
that
group
shock
called
is
test.
all out
are
a
go
does
their
be
get
own
allowed
their
of who
and
has learned
from
not
stop
at
should
teeners
your
in their choice of
resources
companions.
the
mental
experias
car
misdemeanors.
impressionthat
the
hour. Result:
an
for real business, such
in
and equallyserious
theft,larceny,
Don't
tempting, so they
cold in
of bad
group
bad
actually
They
looks
of these
very sick lad. Though one
througha few hectic hours, this
a
parents said that they all went
could
the bar
yes
"
be
left
to
companions. They should
choices, but there should
be
tion
parentalobserva-
what
they are. Perhaps you have encountered
did you
for Mary Jane.What
not justright
one
you thoughtwas
do? Go storming around
about the dangers,the hazards, "the
no
girl's
good"? Far better to watch the progress. If Mary Jane
you, she will find
out
for herself.
adolescents
to guide your
responsibility
rules for choice-making.
in formingsome
use
Certainly
you must
good judgment in your guidance,because you want them to be
First,you
snobs. You
tolerant,not
to
the
have
should
have
the selection of friends based
pocketbook,or
individual
on
or
race
worth,
not
to
deny
that certain
companions. The
account
to
FAMILY
are
be
is
a
is that
character
or
size
your
bank
don't take
social standards
point
aversion, if you
it does
culture
or
must
not
and
haven't,
weight of
teeners
choose
the
for
thing
someor
president
this wrong! This is
be met
in choosing
take a largebank
refinement.
RELATIONSHIPS
have
been
consideringrelationships
about familyreis said now
of the familygroup. Whatever
lationships
should be ancient
by this time. Relationships
history
developed earlyif they are to have value. Now
you should
Up
out
make
Help
Pop
equallyimpressive.Now,
the
on
creed.
because
not
an
to
this
point
you
enjoying them.
ing
relationship
ought to be at its peak durmother-daughter
the teen
are
so
thingsyour daughter
years. There
many
The
68
Your
confine
of the necessary
plan some
such
team:
a
as
manly household responsibilities
things as
furniture repair,painting,car washing,yard raking,and many
others. These
be most
in
hours spent togethercan
profitable
over
talking
your teen-age son's serious problems.
should not forget
From
these man-to-man
Dad
relationships,
he has a daughter.
of her father's time, justas
She wants
some
Tim
likes his chats with his mother.
of
It reallyis a matter
gettingall the individual relationships
organizedand then putting
them
togetherinto the entire familygroup. More will be said
about the familyin a group in the next chapter.
"Ah gee!Mom,
do I hafta drag her along?"
"Patrick Matthew
be glad you have a sister. AnyMagilicudy,
one
would
think she had buck teeth, was
and knockcross-eyed
kneed
at
itself to
Teen-Agers
to hear
home.
sports. You
talk." This
you
The
can
is the usual
amusing part of
brother-sister routine
should
it is that if Pat
hear
one
being "slow," or
words
to that effect,the fur would
reallyfly.Ordinarilythe
brother-sister team
is a nice
friendlyone
except for normal
Of course
sional
they have their occaarguments and disagreements.
ing
serious situations affecthealthyblowups,but in the more
If by chance you find
your familygroup theypitchtogether.
that they are particularly
unpleasantto each other, you do have
for tryingto work out the difficulty.
some
responsibility
of the
fellows
MEETING
make
that. But
do
you
old age
to
you?
teeners
to
meet
strange
outside
to
your
courtesy and
remember
So
over
when
them.
with
other
adults
of the home.
adult friends.
respect,but
opportunity to take
take
his sister
Pop, I'm not interested
indeed! Pop is anythingbut
on
cronies
contacts
about
crack
ADULTS
THE
"Come
a
a
the thirties looked
Still you
should
like
encourage
It is not
They
wise
to
should
be
you
should
in conversation.
Not
let them
feel
show
expectedto
allow them
that
ripe
your
adult
well, for they face many
in addition
part
your old cronies!" Old
flattered by a crack like
in
the
they should
for you, but it is in the home
your entertaining
where
LikingOthers
they will
This
have
can
to
boss, and many
TIED
relatives,guests, Dad's
with
through contact
come
accept adult relationships.
and
learn to meet
69
others.
UP
they have learned some
of the basic aids in making friends,they should be able to take
with confidence all relationships
both in and out of the home.
on
It might be helpfulto offer you some
tipsto pass on to them
the tips
regardinga few of the "what not to do's/* Incidentally,
Help
go for you
it
not
was
which
yawning
2. Don't
is
be
that effect.
themselves
3. The
I beat
is
by yawning
a
matter
of those
have
their
boaster
them
the wrong
some
personalindividuals
too
4. In the
same
well
or
as
to
way.
whose
osity
curi-
much
ask, "How
other
personalquestionsto
sometimes
forget
grownups,
curiosity.
is not
pleasantperson
a
time"
every
bore.
alwaysa
or
"I
this other individual
who
one
You
you.
to
have
around.
the best looker in the
was
category is the
on
personalpreferences
because
strike
to
in the bank?"
as
Youngsters,
in
simplestways
you
always seems
one
of the
one
choked
to death
practically
on
occasions,
honest-to-goodness
yawn
of boredom?
There is somethingabout
real
a
is
overwhelmingthat they justhave
so
do you
money
like others. If
friends. Haven't
control
tryingto
when
boredom
make
to
to
also.
show
1. To
not
teeners
your
are
simplyforces
wrong
no
"Yes,
group"
his
matter
own
what,
has the
answer.
onlypossible
5. Then, there are the cotters or the gossips.
They, too, make
themselves
unpopularjustas do those who are always moaning
about their most
intimate
personalproblems.
There are a few more
be lumped together.
which can
They are
known
the overly-familiar,
the nervousto all of you. There
are
and the laugh-at-the-wrong-timer
tappers,the always-borrowers,
of these bad habits if we
Teeners
are
likelyto fall into some
do not watch them. You can
about the overly-familiar
be stuffy
but
there
are
times
when
the
overuse
of first names
has
been
This
encouraged.
confusing
is
realize
always
not
where
responsibility.
your
but
it
but
Last
should
wiser
know
You
upon
the
succeeds
youngsters
teen-age
with
those
to
whom
dislike!
out
they
on
come
in
result,
a
does
should
laugh
at
in
distress
be
reminded
it.
the
in
Your
right
contact.
task,
foot
is
ping,
tap-
some
habit.
a
unkind.
is
that
it
is
them.
life
Your
then,
in
depends
depends
living
Your
That
use.
become
not
do
they
so
do
and
times
someone
to
not
relationships.
them.
fails
or
it
to
good
make
to
that
and
than
of
value
ability
your
marriage
others
at
at
thoughtless
with
laugh
to
is
jitters
so
laugh
to
youth
Sometimes
get
as
where
and
use
watched
be
least
not
all
You
teeners
to
to
"
not
Teen-Agers
Your
70
is
meeting
Encourage
it,
upon
to
start
and
them
your
liking
to
like
CHAPTER
7
Play *Cime
"THE
are
at
Joneses
Iva
Sourpuss. "At
what?"
the
nth
that
call it
They
than
for
"At
time.
the
Looks
if
as
Bob
half
better
night! Listen
little
a
her
that
to
for
racket.
Jane acting sillier
and
be
recreating might
good
Iva.
call it,
leisure-time
word
of
relaxed
those
that
important
are
The
fun.
to
the
When
glamorous
Life, with
six
fun
and
Play has
discussed.
take
be
the
most
quite
Since
In
in
a
individual.
fussy can
are
you
scrambling
with
plans
some
as
of
find
the
hours
these
of raiment
of
today.
around
and
middies
how
"
the
take
for the
care
digression!)
be
must
responsibilities,
are,
"
have
times
would
Pardon
in
anced
bal-
forgotten,and
time,
as
preceding chapter relationships
were
play
others.
The
of the
one
can
be
play
choices
so
of
means
excellent
an
part about
sufficient
best
release
is
that
that
it
even
pleasurable outlets.
families, play for you
in
around
teeners
It
nice
are
some
those
is
group
There
interested
well
articles
problems
learning to get along with
for hostility
and
worries.
can
play!
over.
its assets.
Sharing
bloomers
gym
bloomers
burdensome
its many
by periods when
gaiety
as
of those
suits
gym
call it
romping
were
you
known
pair of those
One
just about
own
of
some
creations
life. Let's
to
want
you
simple,honest-to-goodnessmeaning
playing. (Speaking
was
activities, whatever
well-rounded
a
have
to
seems
changed!
of
fun
family
"
children."
nonsense," grumbles
patientlyquestions
recreating.It's just silly
Play, recreation,
of
what
again! Umph
it
that
so
of
in
the
family.You
their
71
each
choices
gets
a
crack
a
have
for
is
quite
matter
at
a
his
task
play. Actually
Your
72
times
at
antiquatedwhen
feel
you
teen-age ideas about
who
should
You
with
sit back
school. You
choose
that
it is you
youngsters,
might help.
place of
in
somethingis going
the function, it will be
that whatever
halls where
get panickybecause
you
"dull" affairs. Some
those
school
think
parents tell you, "Mine
dull,"and you
too
dance
Since
outlets for your
sighwhen
pleasant
a
know
Some
supervised.
far
call recreation.
they
of their choices
some
to
sophisticated
listening
FUNCTIONS
can
at
on
what
help guide the play
enumerating
SCHOOL
Teen-Agers
what
know
go
dances
to
the
they
public
they pick up,
or
get picked up by, this and
think
me
stuffyfor saying this,but
hanger-on.Some
may
I'll say it nonetheless:
those
the spots
not
are
for
You
teeners.
activities. If school
givefull support to the school-planned
of their time to plan outside
to give so freely
personnelis willing
should
functions,then you
social
that there
see
school
is fun
to
have
the task of
helpingyour teeners
had. Give them
a
gentlepush into
planned by individuals who know
be
They are
healthyinterests
programs.
somethingabout
for them.
ATHLETICS
the
"B-i-1-1,
hurryup,"screams
get rightunder
your window,
fortywinks! Hold
extra
an
person
sleep!"You
game.
These
find their recreation
to
wholesome
You
cement
or
that
one
"Jim
door. He
morning
Brown
you
manages
can
can't you
to
snatch
let
a
the
play.
add
sport type of play also. Dad might
with golf,
his father-son relationship
swimming,
fishing,
can
whatever
be
a
bit
to
the
the choice. Mother
by takinga dip with
with the
in by and
teen
the
next
boys have planned an earlytennis
good moments.
Boys and girlswho like
in sports are
seekingboth healthyand
know
the
are
on
boy
group.
line
might slim down her waistBets occasionally.
gaged
Sports can be enfamily,as well as by and with the
73
Play Time
CULTURAL
There
in
teen-agerswho
few
quite a
are
of their activities. Not
some
school
students
showed
long ago
too
a
real enthusiasm
some
of
group
in
shame
to
put you
can
high
endeavor
an
pitchinglike sixty.They
theyundertook. They went into politics
in a youth group
but they were
old enough to vote
not
were
where they could learn,express an opinion,and at least become
of civic responsibility.
conscious
the sprawlingframe of a
Believe it or not, I almost fell over
afternoon not long ago. They
in my own
one
teener
livingroom
there. All six of them
that quiet,I didn't know
were
they were
absorbed. They were
to records
were
listening
actually
opera
less! I made
a
no
quick exit no disturbingthe peace here.
"
"
"
the sugary
who
crooner
hot
particularly
and
I say leave them
to
of
good
a
hour
or
interests,of
usual
like records. The
Teeners
tears
his heart
out
toward
run
course,
singingof love,or
a
band.
of some
big name
very loud recording
the music
theylike,justso they get a kick out
of
two
drinkingcokes
and
listening.
MOVIES
"Ah
when
"
dare
you
the movie
seeing.Since
for
should
do
stillrun
can
know
supposed to
the movie
into
a
a
few
ratingsso
movie
to be
movie
by
or
which
selections
can
shocks
all
means
discuss
pastimes
to groupsomes,
on
civic-minded
By
things.
that you
of the favorite
one
their
a
and
now
you
then.
reviewinggroups,
even
you
who
are
post yourselfon
their selections with
down
of
You
on
one
can
scarcely
intelligently.
put thumbs
nothing.Watch their movie-going
absolutely
you know
them
which
a
exercised
care
not
in twosomes
checking on
some
Despite all the
both
seems
youngsters, either
our
you
what
ask
baby anymore."This
they might be thinkingof
dopey! I'm
don't be
gee!Ma,
"
as
week
to "what"
are
to
"how
often." Movies
movies
three
or
four times
less for teen-agers.The
good for anyone, much
at
carelessly
they get from frequentattendance
not
false values
chosen
and
are
a
bad
influence.
74
Jour
Teen-Agers
HOBBIES
If you
will
diversion
pardon a
of life for the moment,
there
Oldsters
dear
are
as
been
it has
found
the
aged and in
interests
special
be rich,they sat
is but
that the
rest
if
as
effort is
Yes!
learn
to
crochet
tip worth
a
you
the
as
those who
here.
considering
youngsters.Recently,
had
in
never
In their old age, when
waitingfor
a
hand
beingput
to
lead them
forth in
encouraging hobbies
anythingif you
encourage
to
were
preparationfor the
a
is
of the scale
end
unhappiestold-timers
hobbies.
aged group.
should
homes
nor
destination. Much
in the
and
near
the other
to
last years. But
say
because
it will
for
developed
life should
to
another
developinghobbies
in the family
now
remember,
Mary Sue, "Dear,
to
homes
give you
won't
you
I think
you
somethingto do
ready for an old-agepension."
are
good at any age. There are so many that to try to
them would
be impossible.
enumerate
Photographyis one of the
The biggest
most
popularwith boys and girls.
problem with this
there are such things
hobby is that it can be quiteexpensive.Still,
odd
as
jobsto be done, which can finance the equipment and
when
are
you
Hobbies
materials.
is another favorite
Collecting
collecting
anythingfrom bottle
Just clear out a spot in the attic if the
caps to railroad spikes.
collection gets too large.
Whittlingis another hobby which is easy and very cheap.
attractive
There is great satisfaction in the ability
to do an
piece
of wood
or
whittling
soap carving.
Still others like weaving. Another
new
hobby is the revival of
folk songs and
dances. Many of these hobbies
are
good for
"
activity.
group
Encourage hobbies.
SOME
not
take up
one
They
yourself?
BEWARES
Do
always
you
continue
home
fact,why
relaxers.
good
are
In
to
steam
." You
at
.
.
know
where
around
can
they are
with, "Where
get weary
going? Some parents
be
are
you going?Now
doing it,but
weary
or
dreary
76
Jour
ball game.
the interview
As
"What
interruption,
About
then
Teen-Agers
the
do
proceeded,she
want
you
do
to
me
"
would
thought,"You
counselor
of
way
play with dolls?"
retorted
be
by
better
off
playingwith dolls than with fire." Her interests were
drinking,
smoking, and hanging around
drugstoresand questionable
gatheringspots.
GET
TOGETHER
wandering during leisure hours is the concern
of many
good ideas for handlingthis
parents.There are many
particular
problem. Every community has its own
program
age
plannedfor teeners. There has been progress in settingup teenThis
aimless
canteens.
about
keepingtrack
and
are
block, two-block,
they
soon
facilitiesin your
no
or
of Buster
the
have
to
and
community, what
Home-Teen-Canteens?
more
Jones talks
like this. Mr.
run
in
If there
Mrs.
Sue.
about
Brown
One
remark
parents of the
six
It could
their troubles
leads
to
another
surroundingblocks
planningFridaynightfun sessions in the various homes. There
value in such a plan if they would
be special
let the
would
do their own
teeners
planning of the program, painting and
for the gathering,
and helpingto
room
fixing
up the basement
and
finance the potato chipsand cokes. With
a littleleadership
guidance such a neighborhoodidea could turn into loads of
fun
for the
takes is
a
teeners
as
well
little initiative
as
and
be
constructive
extra
elbow
to
grease
parents. All
to
it
help these
Let them
recreation.
good,wholesome
and the noise they call fun.
for their jitterbugging
the home
use
beautiful rooms
which
Those
so
might get a little wrecked if
adolescents trespass for a few hours of fun are showpieces
a few
young
"
not
peopleof
ours
find
homes.
ORGANIZED
GROUPS
and organizationsare upon
Life
us.
days of committees
when
be a merry-go-round
can
periodically
you get all bogged
with extracurricular activities. There
down
are
groups enough
The
now
to
accommodate
just about
the whole
crop
of
teen-agers.
77
Play Time
The
Clubs, Catholic Youth
4-H
for every
These
taste.
in
should
have
it that
to
theyjointo get the
the
of following
purpose
for the
most
these
in
participation
to
seem
be
joiners.But
of the group,
out
mob.
something
ership
developinglead-
for
encourage
youngsters who
the
offer
others
clubs, and
excellent mediums
are
You
teeners.
groups if you
see
clubs,Church
school
groups,
Center
Community
Organization,
The
more
for their leisure hours, the less likelihood
just
not
help plan
you
there will be
of your
becoming frantic about their gettinginto jams.
All teen-ageplayis not beingtouched upon here because some
of these thingswill come
for example.
later in the book; dating,
For
the aspects of recreation
will
get them
"What
home?"
homes
It
question?"
the
in
teeners
many
home. They act
who
would
not
seem
transient
unit
meal
a
if
as
a
with
in
which
they simplysnatch
not
and
influences,they
then, and squeeze
must
in
a
ideal of home
go
providein
your
somethingworth coming
back
about
say too much
have
be a mansion,
to
to
conducive
are
furnishings
it providesis what
to
and
are
to
allergic
comes
you
few
too
itch. If
it like
hours'
weekly bath
was
"
of the home
treat
a
funny the fact that what
periodicparking.And can
parents establish the home
You
almost
of seven-year
case
There
the old homestead
its
placefor
the whole
become
dread
the idea that the breakdown
You
of the word?
have
a
really
today are
homes
many
by hanging around
out
that this
to believe
sense
"What
the comments.
to
now
This is
not
be nice
to
seem
longtheymight come
now
hear
you
old-fashioned
good
too
eat
Can't
how
stupidquestion.But actually
a
do
here, you
later.
is your
asinine
was
missed
have
you
HOME?
Is IT
an
which
once
they
some
sleep,
how.
some-
home
a
is
you go along with
from the outside?
either make
it
or
let
pot.
homes
thingswhich make it
it is not necesto. First,naturally,
sary
does
physicalappearances. Home
but
the
cleanliness
to
pleasureand
is
important. One
and
comfort.
taste
The
in
its
phere
atmos-
of the best attacks
78
Jour
Teen-Agers
problem of maintaininga home is to plan the thingfor
the whole familywhich
is housed
in it. Yes, include Grandma,
can
Play and recreation
Grandpa, and the whole crew.
provide
lost entity of
the
to some
helpfulaids in rebuilding
many
this
on
"
the
home.
Here
are
FAMILY
COUNCILS
"The
meeting
will
results
the whole
familywith
Try
the idea
you
may
at
have
your
to
for
chance
a
house.
the others
"sassin'." Let
piece.But
the
these councils
few
pet peeves.
sometimes
"
rules of
parliamentary
ruptions
Any interpreside.
to
shocked
she is at the
their
opportunityto
be used
most
provide
"Order."
have
can
can
individual
the chairman
chance
a
report how
children
a
It
This type of group
unpleasantattitudes in the
be treated with
Grandma
group. Let
to express
Alternate
clear the air of many
can
Council.
a
getting the
table. The
familyround
such
out
straighten
procedure,but give
must
a
from
come
about
order." What
to
week
a
can
ideas:
come
familytogetheronce
valuable
few
a
"
for
ing
meet-
family
youngster's
say
their
than
clearing
up
all the family
more
Family outings,vacations, and
misunderstandings.
some
playcan be plannedin these sessions. Try the plan;it is wholethat familyfeeling
in a
which
cement
can
group activity
home.
TELEVISION
So
but
and
help me! there
has
it certainly
Even
together.
this book
be criticism
may
its
of this new-found
wonder,
advantagesin keeping the familyhome
I have
to
join the children
sneak
few
a
writinghours
from
watching a sports event, an
educational
hilarious show; it does
feature, or a particularly
providetime-out for a breath of change.
But
with other familyactivities,it presents its problems.
as
to
When
to turn
very
amusing
armchair
it off? You
stories
dinners
their homes.
have
in
to
set
some
regardingmothers
for the firstfew
it
Certainly
is up
to
weeks
you
rules. There
who
when
to set
are
some
all but
planned
television graced
the television rules
Play Time
around
your
Some
meet
your
must
program
nightsafter
must
house.
not
of them
79
should
approval;(2)
(1) selections of
be:
no
television
school
on
hours; (3) if guests arrive unexpectedly,
they
certain
find themselves
forced
to
watch
because
program
some
Junior can't give up seeing a favorite; (4) put a time limit on
and
its use
nightis too much. Select what's
morning, noon,
"
good
for all the
all the
about
puffing
the whole
in which
SPECIAL
of program. With
it has provideda form of recreation
television,
family in
time
and
familycan
content
share.
EVENTS
." sings
"Happy birthdayto you, happy birthdayto you
the family.
Get everyone
to chime
in, from the youngest to the
oldest. You don't need the best in harmony, justso the intentions
occasions
in the familyis another
are
good.To celebrate special
Birthdaysare fun and should
way of enhancingfamilysolidarity.
be made
anticipated
extra-super events. If you like to planparties
for your youngsters,try both celebrations. They can
have their
.
specialguests
date
for the
family.Each
for
a
party, and
family.Do
one
should
not
have
you
can
use
the
forgetthis means
his day. Include
.
dinner
of the
for the
whole
the
day
pup'sbirth-
also,it'sfun.
only times when the familycan find
for gettingtogether
for celebrating.
There
versaries,
anniare
an
excuse
and justtimes when
some
particularly
holidays,
special
of the family.For the anniversaries,
excitinghonor has befallen one
it's a nice warm,
to hear teeners
encouraging feeling
going around planninga scrumptiousparty for Mother and Dad.
They gatherin the whole clan and reallymake a party of it.
who
have
lived in an atmospherewhere
These are the teeners
the responsibility
of planning
it is part of livingto take on
the cherished
partiesfor parents for a change.These are really
which
times
making familylife real.
go toward
the special
Christmas
is generally
there are
Then
holidays.
acceptedas a day for the home folks. It is then everyone gathers
The very meaning of this
their hearths for celebrating.
around
Birthdaysare
not
the
80
Your
should
season
be
the
Teen-Agers
draw
to
inspiration
togetherrather than find
to pick
up parties.
it
to
scattering
the
family closer
the four winds
"Isn't my Easter bonnet
ducky?" This is another
for the family.
to be
Surely the Easter fineryseems
but
after the
promenading there
There
special
familyget-together.
families that need
around
their house.
door
fun
where
the
parents have
remaining hours
for
a
is
have
to
fun. These
some
put
a
lock and
are
chain
keep their youngsters home. Try findingexcuses
with your family.
Little specialties
do not have to be
added
little gaiety will do
plan
tradition,
a
touch
at
dinner,
a
decorated
on
not
the
to have
to
affairs. Just an
to
somethingattractive about
to have
somethingspecial
very little excuse
take
on
They
every holidayfrom the 4th of
July to Groundhog Day just to
the homes
are
day
trying
elaborate
cake, and
a
it.
TRA-LA-LA
Perhaps Mrs. Sourpuss in the beginningof this chapterwas
of the Joneseswho live next door. There
hearingthe tra-la-laing
all
is a good deal to be gained from the old song fests. "Now
the
gather around the piano and let's sing."Have
you seen
at this suggestion,
skepticwho hangs off in the corner
wearing
boredom?
a look of patientmisery and
You, perhaps,have also
when
he sees
what
that same
wise guy sneak over
seen
finally
fun everyone else is having.Soon he is roaringlouder and longer
have delightful
than any of the chorus. We
times doing rounds
house. Not too long ago, we
at our
were
Row-Row-Rowing your
finished we
boat with such finesse that when
we
were
practically
The folks next
shocked out of a year's
growth to hear applause.
door were
gettinga real kick out of it. See! Two families enjoyed
that simplebit of melody.
JUST
TOGETHER
How
about
games
"
do
you
like them?
Haven't
that one
"Monopoly" with such seriousness
were
reallyinvestingyour largefortune of
would
two
you
played
think
cents
in
you
the
Play Time
81
actual
purchase of property?If you haven't, try some
games
eveninghours
justfor the fun of it. You can spend many pleasant
with your youngsters in game-playing.
families play cards
Some
with a vengeance.
Dad
Get everyone
into the game.
can
play as
cutthroat
a
buddies.
with
game
Have
the teeners
of your
some
in
sitting
fun
at
does
he
as
his
with
home.
RELATIVES
do families loose track of Uncle
Why
Have
become
we
kith and
modern
so-so-o-o
potlucktype of party,where
rolls,Uncle George snatches
Minnie
store, Aunt
the space. Don't
mixes
tell
If they have
shindig.
it,they will become
Sunday.Do
visiting
to
how
see
farm?
youngest
Sarah
Cousin
a
you
home
They
look
"
oldest
whips up
specialsalad, and
the teeners
been
the
to
a
"
batch
coffee off the shelf of his
some
her
up
me
Grandma
littlesuburban
a
the
broughtup
to
supply
you
stand
cannot
this kind
of
of
get the real feeling
prominent part
can't wait
we
Hurry J-u-n-i-o-r,
"Pile in.
out
all the
can't have
we
There
is
good homespun get-together?
helpfulto morale than to see a big Saturdaynight
party representingthe clan from
of
that
Minnie?
Cousin
or
kin in for the
nothingmore
the
Peter
very
of such
all
parties.
day." This
is
pilein on Sunday afternoon and drive
and Grandpa are making out in their
or
maybe it'sa few miles farther out on
forward
these visits. So
to
should
you.
VACATIONS
What
the
with
vacations
boys for
friend
for
a
whole
and
Dad
family.If
tent, camp
a
few
Mother
cruise; with
cottagehere and there?
Mother
house?
your
excursion;
fishing
swank
a
at
Not
so
the
Does
off with
children
good!An
Dad
go
her old
vacation
alone yes, but in the main, make
them
it is cost
that worries
not
days and
do
it
on
college
shipped off
occasional
you,
off with
why
peanuts, but share
to
a
for
for the
pitcha
it with
all of you. The fun of getting the old car packed with all the
the one
who draws "following
the road map" ordeal
trappings,
"
these
are
the
happy experienceswhich
remain
in one's
memory.
82
TRY
IT
fun
Well,
you
in
Teen-Agers
Your
and
children.
your
together
playing
while
experience
homes
own
and
play
is
as
on.
family.
a
of
are
dull.
family
together
this
Please
sophisticated
It
life.
"
is
If
you
your
you
and
job
play
those
It
that
you,
.
.
around
that
them
you
you.
mighty
what
will
the
the
ones
simple
find
should
and
these
carry
the
grow
for
important
time
more
are
you
help
together,
is
is
they
notion
to
It
spend
not
.
out
fun.
is
Why
with
later
play
thought
youngsters
their
into
on
them
guide
to
things
ideals
in
of
of
life
real
happiness
84
Your
WHAT
Teen-Agers
Is STYLE?
What
is this
take up what
You pretty much
thingcalled style?
the stylists
And
show as "the latest thing,
you know!"
you want
the latest,whether
it sags, bags,or just lags.
Actually,
though,
than keeping
It requires
is more
"style"
up with the latest thing.
What
best suits my particular
ture?
a littlethought.
styleof architecThe
thingsthat look good on the skinnyones won't do
anythingat all for the plumpishones. The matter of taste, then,
is up to you to develop.
into clothes
It is unwise
to force teeners
they detest; on the other hand, you must
help them with
choices.
artistic
with
But
adult
hardlybecome
There
so
clothingfads being what
frantic
constant
are
should
new
your teeners'
ideas for what
the
at
One
wear.
they are, you can
weird clothing
trends.
the land
sweeps
well-dressed
until
another
lescent
ado-
fresh
along.For example the dirty-saddle
periodwas for
and stilllingers
in spots. So you
a while
on
can
quite general,
still occasionally
sweet
a
see
thinggo tripping along in
young
one
comes
shoes that have
well-seasoned
lost the two-toned
not
effect
the second
"
tone,
a
covering of smudge, dirt,or "discoloration."
the eyes is the new
in skirts.
smacking you between
Someone
starts
ging
lengtheningthem and suddenlythey are dragthe pavement. Perhaps you recall the enthralling
period
the jumper jacket
when
alls
overthing that belongedto workmen's
the rage. That
was
perhaps you enjoyed at least the
the shirttails-in,
durable! For the boys there were
material was
shirttails-out periods next, perhaps,will be the period of no
and
shirtails. Such examples of "the latest thing"could go on
and ought to be
But the point is that your youngsters can
on.
as
regard your own
helped to look at these extremes
you
Then
"
"
clothingfads.
There
It is not
sized
are
are
many
reactions
always good either.
females
comfortable
who
stroll down
and
to
adults
the latest thing.
following
example take those very large
For
"
the
all that, but
avenue
in slacks.
there
.
.
.
are
some
Surelythey
stylesyou
Is That
just cannot
be
to
It is in this matter
smart.
careful in your
not
are
be
to
choice
very
dress, you
cannot
theirs.
in
THEY
AND
It takes
than
more
of the present
state
suit? No, I
not
am
a
skirts and
The
suits
and
at
about
todayare
least
the
turn
a
Do
art
of
to
cope
with
some
remember
you
double
your swim
type, with long
Sennet
skirts;but
swimming
to
the colorful
has taken
lately!
good pockethandkerchief
if
regardyou as pre-Victorian
the size of
of the bathers
some
resistance
the Max
to
referring
What
ones.
littleshock
of undress.
bloomers,
stockings,
woolen
want
you
children
expect your
You
if
others, if you
in
as
enjoy
85
Style?
a
creation.
modest
What
a
fairly
sorry twist in
of taste also enters into the
The matter
moralityof apparel.
selection of this sports attire. There is actually
no
grace in some
of these overlyscanty suits, not to mention
again the moral
tease
aspects.One need not be a prude to disapproveof this stripsuits. There
some
are
models,
delightful
stage in swim
within the bounds
and up to date, that come
of decency.
smart
you
the
in
appear
Don't
a
think you
you
Reference
was
should
made
to
counsel
one
of my
in
some
of these choices?
pet laughsa chapterago
"
good old middies and gym bloomers. I hold no brief for
all for the play
them: they were
load to drag around. I am
a
clothes our
wear.
They are comfortable and, for their purgirls
pose,
frame.
choices
fitthe
there
But
to
are
particular
practical.
the briefest
such clothing.
There are also places
to wear
Certainly
of shorts and a bare midriff are
not
good choices for shopping
and street wear.
Regard the time and placefor play clothes as
and you must
change
important.Times have changed,certainly,
thrust upon
also. But when
are
dangerousextremes
you, it is
to do a little tempering.
your responsibility
the
WHAT
What
Is IMPORTANT?
is
important
in
dress?
There
are
factors
many
of these factors
to
be
becoming smartlyattired. Most
apply
for your boys as well as your girls.
This is the periodwhere you
have a chance to help them, not just choose for them.
studied in
Yowr
86
has
As
been
dress is one's
Teen-Agers
before,
mentioned
peculiarstyleof
a
important
very
architecture. There
matter
in
the fat,the
are
skinny.You don't have to be a styleexpert to
know
that simplecommon
has to be used here. There are
sense
styleswhich are not becoming to all individuals. I have looked
that carry
of those precious feminine numbers
at one
longingly
and
medium,
the touch
for my
the
of the Old
She,
teener.
tailored. It is
rather
than
South.
I
this
at
just look, because
herself
point,lends
just isn't
the
simple
underemphasize
clothes which
selecting
overemphasizethe weak points of
of
matter
a
that
to
the
individual
anatomy.
there is the factor of color and
Then
this
appliesto boys as
Color choices are extremelyimportant.Charts are
girls.
available to give help in choosingcolors best suited to different
If Juniorlooks washed
in blue, try something
out
complexions.
well
as
else. You
him
want
show
to
up
at
his very best.
thing.I may have a
put colors togetheris another
when
kind, but somethinghappens to me
strange quirkof some
of those terrific color combinations.
I see
one
Way back when,
How
I had
shirt
which
class
who
appeared in class one day with a green
professor
and purple tie. There
was
somethingabout the blending
harsh that the whole
was
so
breath-takingly
daringly,
a
was
learningwhat
best blue
very
not
a
Do
redhead.
to
it
does
actually
effects
combine
others
excitingand
are
well
take
or
are
appeared "all
anklets and
saddles?
set
She
to
go"
looks
there is that shocker
feet. Then
plaidswith
stripes,and
and
yours
are
so
to
in
her
that is, if
"
a
Junior is
littlestudy.
them
up? Some
There
devastating.
mix
of sport and dress attire. For
combination
If you
tie looks
effects
probablymake
job to guide them
example,for Junior's
For
together.
suit, a red
See,
like
you
well
goes
bad
will
youngsters, left to themselves
combinations, but it is your
startling
some
ever
do have
color combinations
distracted. Poor
others. Your
on
in
to
binations
com-
is the
instance, has your
very
best
taffeta
Betty
"
and
rightsmart until you reach the
of combining dots with plaids,
on.
be
even
reasonablywell dressed,
Is That
combinations
like
teeners
87
most
important more
important,in fact, than alHave
why?
pointin good styling.
you suspected
are
"
any other
limited budget.Where
The
Style?
to
appear
is the
money
not
flow
equal advantagewith
to
very few
A
answer.
does
clothes
freelyand
your
the rest
bination
com-
be used
can
"
in
binations.
com-
people how to mix them
your young
to the heightof smartness.
This holds for your boys no less than
Plan Jim'sslacks to blend in combinations
for your girls.
with
You
teach
can
sport jackets,
sport shirts,and
but it
can
TYPES
For
stood
to
the
OF
be fun
as
as
Sounds
like
a
puzzle,
good preparationfor good grooming.
CLOTHES
School.
thought I knew,
I
unobserved
watch
well
sweaters.
the
were
girls,
in the main
reallycute
I felt almost
hall of
I had
teeners.
but
a
I wanted
be
to
largehigh school recently
old time. Most
merry
in their skirts and
sweaters.
a
of them,
But
for
different
outstandingly
from the rest. She was
draped brown
wearing a sophisticated
I might (qualified)
possiblyselect
crepe arrangement which
for a special
In her hair she wore
event.
three artificialwhite
flowers. Now, I happen to like individuality
in clothes,
but this
to fit.Sport
girl,
reallya most attractive one, just did not seem
clothes are appropriate and practical
for school.
The boys were
attired in the same
pretty generally
type of
garments. They were
wearing slacks with either sport shirts or
Of course,
odd one
I had to spot one
sweaters.
perhapsbecause
I was
lookingfor it. He appearedin jeans.Again,I like informal
but most
of you will probablyagree with me
that jeans
wear,
not
are
particularly
appropriate for school.
For
Occasions.
Dress
do you think I am
"What
a
baby?"
shrieks a Teener
when
to you
you dare to suggest a simple,
school hop. What
to be
to
a
worn
youthfulnumber
strange
one
a
little sorry. She
I
sure.
was
"
creatures
years
we
are! At
older; now
simplestway
? You
"
to
clothes is
sixteen, you
handle
to
and
I wanted
all face it,but it
the
approach
to
to
seems
overwhelming desire
the matter
from
the
me
for
look
ten
that the
sophisticated
of
standpoint
88
Your
"what
is smart?"
Teeners
Teen-Agers
prettymuch
are
like
Like
yourself.
you,
show
they want to be considered well dressed. When
you can
them good taste as opposed to poor taste, theywill take the good.
They want to be considered "smooth dressers."
What
for special
about this too, too casual wear
events? Have
chaperoneda very special
teen-age party where a few
you ever
or
appeared in sloppy sweaters
equallyinformal attire? These
ing
need a littlepep talk on the graciousart of dressboys and girls
to
suit the occasion.
dress?
they would
They looked
children
Your
be
can
nonconformance
like
be
a
to
me
at me
helped
would
asked
once
if
House
house
I
to
were
in
a
ment
Settle-
their dance
tryingto
were
how
see
if you
at
appear
if I
as
I had
group
be
in
a
funny.
of their
stupidsome
to follow along in the
pattern.
same
SHOES
Shoes.
then.
I cannot
matter
said
to
you
let down
the
dirtysaddle
an
it
old meany
time.
can
And
be
around
our
house
now
and
we
the routines
on
habit
for
because
shows
certainly
Shoes
this crack
It seems
a lost
misplacedthe shoe polish?"
of high polish.
The heightof achievement
was
Have
be that lustrous glossafter a good polish.
"John have
art, this
once
resist
girls?
They
poor
training in
about
probablythink you
it, but it's sloppyand
will
the others all do
casual, and
above
cleanliness? What
of shoe
neatness
comfortable, and
and
clean
cleanliness.
at
the
same
all,they ought to be clean.
talkingof shoes bringsup the perennialsubjectof
heels. I am
not
to those
referring
slang"heels" who are heels,
but to what
the teen-age girlscall high heels. It's a touchy
but it can't be left alone. Ask them
at what
subject,
age they
think they should
the first pair of them.
be allowed
Perhaps
"Well
in the ninth grade at
anticipatethe answer.
you can
school they all have them." You
might ask, "They have them
is the reply.
at fourteen?"
"Yes, for parties,"
FranklyI have my
doubts. They just don't seem
quite ready for high heels at
than they are
fourteen and fifteen any more
ready for datingso
And
"
...
Is That
early.Now
homes, I will
your
ready for
are
order
in
Suffice it
avoid
to
not
Style?
the age
mention
considered
It is
most
rush
why
matter
a
the
I think
they
allow
you
them
apparelso early.High heels are
healthful from
of foot
the standpoint
it? Or rather, why let them
rush you?
consider,and my
to
fault when
at
to
position,so
which
at
in
them.
say that you are
these adult articles of wearing
not
revolutions
of minor
series
a
89
is,"Not
vote
at
fourteen."
ON
PASSING
handing down clothes from one to
another
does not
arise
as
frequentlywith this age group as
families it is simplya "must" for financial
earlier. But in many
Probably the
there may
brief look at it. If you
So, since
reasons.
take
a
There
caution.
because
There
clothing.
of
is
having to
a
way
few
alterations here
or
new
buttons, can
not
am
with
one
someone's
some
strange reaction
the receiver
an
relieve the
beginsto
slacks
a
is up
to
good
the
one.
brother's
a
new
love
to
wear
girl.
a
braid
wear
sport shirt
givesan adequatenew
of them
some
of
it,use
quate
feel inade-
of havingto
feeling
touch.
the other's
of
Sis sneakingout
over
familyscenes
best slip,
dress,or what have you. This is a
the point I was
making. It might be said,
however, that the habit of borrowing clothes without
is not
to
sister's or
older
addition
boy, the
a
hears
very
littledifferent from
find
with
get around it,particularly
and there, with a touch of new
that
forgetting
attire. In fact
of it in your
wear
with handed-down
combined
some
to
helpto
another's clothes. With
house, let's
be
when
times
are
A
I
of
matter
If the
two
parents to control
can
or
agree
on
permission
it fine. Otherwise
it
prevent the borrowing.
HAIR
Care
of the hair
was
discussed
in the
chapteron
health. But
it must
come
talkingof styles,
up again.
have been faced with
is important. You
Hair
certainly
styling
hair problemsrecently.
some
interesting
Dyeing it! I saw a girl
had tried a black job on hers. Her mother
not too longago, who
now
since
we
are
Your
90
wild. It
was
to
have
black
of
it touched
that she had
uneven
bit. Believe
a
up
anythingbut
was
look
hard
so
was
that
not
was
Teen-Agers
a
Such
flattering.
the
time
have
child
escapade
an
shop
a
pretty bad.
was
color, and
natural
Still,
a littleof that mother's
course.
it
me,
off to
her
sent
spent
in
is
The
had
a
normal,
suggesting
her
interest
daughter's
on
arrangements rather than on color changes.
There
a
are
good many hair stylesthat are becoming to the
fifteen and sixteen year old, but the "updo" is definitely
not
one
of them. Help them see that the simple,soft look is much
more
enhancing than the severelystyledhair at that age.
To
boys,too, well-groomedhair is important. I know it can
be extremelyunruly,but they should have scheduled
haircuts
and help in the proper
is not
arrangements also. If a crew
boys have heads that just do not
becoming,discourageit; some
deals. Fads for boys are
shape into one of those close-cropped
If that
just as ridiculous and unbecoming as those for girls.
for the ultraextreme
"duck-tail" hairdo, which
nee
matiis definitely
do somethingabout it.
idol,persists,
hair arrangements
attractive
might
ACCESSORIES
keep harping on your daughters,but most of this
offers a
matter
on
styleappliesto them. The use of accessories
new
angle.Take the earring craze, for instance. Regardlessof
I hate
whether
to
you
like
not
earrings or
and
"
that this
styleof adornment
particular
so
girlsbecome
intriguedwith
Some
for
or
earringsof
is it
"
few
suit
a
pieces
complement
I
do
not
suppose
add
the
the
must
you
admit
ridiculous.
become
that
they go in
proportions.It is the strangest thing
lopingalong with pendants
girlcomes
craze,
princess.
well-chosen
but
their outfits,
type. There
which
gypsy
of
can
"
"
that the tiniest
that would
A
enormous
I do
are
years
selection
thumbs
down
jewelry are
on
stunning bracelets
many
to
costume
the
and
fine
to
cated
sophisti-
too
lapelpins
their ages.
of
the
brilliants is another
passing
92
Jour
aids
be
and
the
likes
wise
groomed
interested
then
I
of any
the
of the
use
its
is such
the
it
So,
to
even
to
go
they
can
taken
perfume?
whiff
a
Dime-store
of
ping
shop-
they will pick up the wildest stuff!
are
lightfloral colognesfor
many
find
a
Of
favorite.
some
you
bound
find, they are
can
in
if
course,
of these
things
styleand
good-
theirs.
BEGINNING
THE
TO
dime-store
perfume you
choices
Your
occasionally.
will become
BACK
them
helping
ever
you
the heaviest
use
snitch
to
in
of scents, there
which
in
mothers
teener.
color.
have
extremes,
temptation and
a
realm
teeners
the
aids. I will
sundry beauty
in suitable
use
of their choices
In
of
task
to
of
speaking of
some
the
penciledeyebrow
I feel wellfingernail
polish,because
all during life. If they can
hands
be
asset
are
an
in keeping their nails attractive
by the use of polish,
suggest
And
have
You
extremes.
use
with
along
used
The
and attractively.
tastefully
assets
are
elongatedmouth
by no means
must
Youth
Teen-Agers
back
go
to
the
grooming question,you
the elements
which
beginning of
very
must
into
enter
start
good
the
helping them
to
You
appearance.
understand
cannot
demn
con-
for
followingthe amazing fads which descend upon
from
Your
them
time
time.
is to help them
to
responsibility
become
of what
size.
is best suited to their coloringand
aware
You
is the first,
must
help them learn that their appearance
though not the most
important, of their selling
points later on.
them
The
overdressed
or
being made
is
wisely and
about
them.
ones
If
always
people had
find
time
the
ments
judg-
snap
to
what
see
judgments would be reversed, but
the time.
choose
their
So, help your teeners
that they will meet
the test
so
tastefully
underneath,
don't have
underdressed
"
people
raiment
of
good
grooming.
The
followingcolor
helping with
these
charts
choices.
may
be
of
some
value
to
you
in
Is That
No.
CHOICES
GENERAL
1
93
Style?
TYPES
COMPLEXION
FOR
choices
Type
Some
Auburn
Blues, greens, and
Blond
and
Blues, grays, purples,
Brunette
Reds, blues, greens, brown, and
2
No.
yellow
COMBINATIONS
Red, kellygreen, white, pink,pastelblue,
blue
and
red
plaids
beige,lightgreen; plaids
yellow,green, and brown
Yellow, orange,
Brown
in tones
Red
greens
Combinations
Color
Navy
COLOR
BASIC
SUGGESTED
browns
(dark)
of
Brightred, greens,
and
red and
green
White, pastels pink,blue, and
Black
"
Green
(dark)
NOTE:
These
plaids
yellow
Kelly green, brightred, yellow,blue
green plaids
charts
are
complete,but
not
contain
and
a
few
simplesuggestions.
Do's
1. Choose
2. Choose
playup assets and
becoming hair styles.
clothes
to
3. Wear
colors
4. Blend
colors in outfits for
5. Choose
6. Watch
to
modest
care
of
suit
but
your
suit your
individuality.
type.
harmony.
attractive
play clothes
hands, complexion,and
for sport.
hair.
Jour
94
Teen-Agers
DON'TS
1.
habits
sloppy
Get
footwear.
in
Keep
repaired.
2.
Follow
3.
Wear
4.
Try
5.
Wear
6.
Go
fads.
unbecoming
much
too
to
be
head
out
with
make-up.
sophisticated
scarfs
hair
for
in
in
every
bobby
hair
styling.
occasion.
pins.
shoes
clean
and
CHAPTER
"BLOW
giving With Hurricanes
9
down
me
mates!
after the hurricane/'
the
in
aren't
words
to
might
you
disorder?"
pay
won't
We
attention
more
could
have
not
of
ways
with
junk
golf clubs
few
sharp
breath-taking.So
take
pride in
you
haven't
find them
ROOM
"
"Mom,
ma-call-it
because
The
walls
at
smart
to
that
to
be
of their
care
it! A
results!
better
of
the
and
me
the
do
most
planned
paign
cam-
Things trailing
.
.
be
is
youngsters
belongings,but they probably
the
training
a
They
neat.
of your
Some
quite
.
transformation
cannot
just
now
are
is that
situation
until
small, all right,but
were
neatness.
"
room
the
teeners
bothered.
will
top completely covered
desk
middle
want
you
mean
matter,
fully. We
strange part of the whole
of their
one
You
now.
to
seem
you
trying stages.
HERS
can
I make
skirt?"
plans
fortune.
tired
they
the
I
"
from
forgotten to
when
started
chairs
words
majority. The
the
not
the
in
it is not
just a little too
are
and
"
.
question, "Why
it
answer
getting what
accomplished
drawers, draping from
sight!A
to
.
the
study
the
to
answers
try
from
"
there
others
"
to
were
you
many
floored
literally
been
I have
it. If
even
to
order
find
can
.
with
up
have
Some
teeners.
express
come
shipwreck
clutter,litter,disarraythat you
Such
of your
wake
like the
looks
Junior'sroom
are
one
you
Bets.
made
for
allowed
Bets
to
plans
do
being
covering. These
Haven't
things?You
frilly
breathlesslybegs
parents have
bed
of those
had
a
She
is
do
not
her
own
have
a
watch-
simply floating
changes
some
perfectly wonderful
95
know
in
her
room.
selectingfrom
to
cost
time
a
small
making
96
Your
vanities
frilly
begged from the
politely
have the fun of redoingtheir
of orange
out
crates
grocer?Teen-agersneed to
with
a
occasionally
suggestion or
corner
rooms
get
Teen-Agers
littletoo
a
then put the
do the
enthusiastic. Let
the furniture
carpentry,Bud
the whole
and
it
crowd
in
familyaffair
on
the
they
outlined
repair,Sis the
get
can
a
if
you
get her ideas
Sis
Make
work.
familyto
from
two
"
and
Dad
can
ming,
hem-
curtain
painting.
If she
she is going to be far more
plans her own
room,
interested in keeping it orderly.
in
Girls like to have rooms
which
haps
they can entertain their closest teen-age classmates. Perthey sprawlover the bed, drape themselves on the vanity
let them, it is their private
bench, or lounge on the floor
that
domain.
Let it be the spot where
over
they simplyswoon
who
moved
door or where
next
creature
they can
gorgeous
solve all life'sproblemsin one
session.
Not every familyis so fortunate
Yes, you're
probablychuckling.
for each. At our
to have
house they have to
as
a separate room
share a room.
likes
This, of course,
one
poses a problem when
promise,
brightyellowand the other likes blue. We usuallytry to comcombining yellow and blue into the most
elegant
"
arrangement. Of
it does
who
course,
solve the
not
is the extra
occupant, there
her part of the room."
in inches
figureout
to
does
not
alternate
for
care
not
be
take
of her
own
a
in
a
part
brief
on
does
The
for them!
routine
the
your
who
one
problem is to
is responsible
that you
now,
clean
to
measurements
each
point is
About
Do
cleaning.
do
get her
side. Woe
while
cleaning,
sister
younger
solution of this
drawers.
rooms
linen
which
likes
everyone
take
practically
share! One
and
room
is the bed
regularchart
after
bed
will,but let them
What
who
be "Mom
can
will
They
over-all
doing their
doing their
if you
her
on
the
on
justas
gettingthe room
order question.If it is a
should
they should
inspectionof
be
corners
the work.
at
your
house?
changesand
beds
It is well to
made
in
the
set
up
a
morning
airing.Perhaps you preferto do the bedmaking as
of your
havingthese
dailyround
teeners
of all the house.
recognizeand
But
accept their
there is value
own
responsi-
With
Living
97
Hurricanes
for making their beds. You will most
probablygo through
bility
look.
the periodof the humps, bumps, and the thrown-together
But you will get to the point of smoothingand pattingso not a
wrinkle
shows.
thingslook?
at the unholy jumble in the
sputter with indignation
The
of orderliness is made
best speech on the subject
bed
From
Do
you
drawers?
dresser,chest
to
whatever
or
how
"
do
of yours comes
for you when
one
storming in for breakfast
You
blouse!" For sure
with "Look
it is a wrinkled
at my
mess.
might be tempted to say, "I told you/*but refrain. The lesson
taughtwhen the offender has to take the time to do
unexpectedlast-minute pressingbecause of carelessness.
is
Do
house?
I
decision, and
like
idea. I would
flash
a
or
light,
goes on.
this and
I
say?I
are
the "Oh
"
on
do
a
one
think of all
to
wonderful
boy
to
I
stow
can
some
see
some
weird
of
sorts
for this
stop-its
temptationfor
it away
back
not
consistent,
teeners.
some
in this corner"
gadget that would ring a bell,
thingeach time the stowing act
hanging and storage devices for
clever
the many
orderliness should
that bit of clothing,
With
am
chair.
the nearest
the calm,
onlyremedy seems
hang up those things!"
closets
know
I-don't-know-what-
an
luck. The
insistent,"Please
You
tried
theycall it
optimistic;
a
be fun. Fun, did
real task,but
on
you
here and
nevertheless,with "shoes should go here, clothing
"Mary,your wastebasket!"
The designated
emptier of
grousing at
one
takes
one
first but
week
now
at
your
ence.
conveni-
a
garment at a time, make
its particular
hook, wouldn't things
out
it to
return
no
Clothes
new-fangledsuper
Thingsflyand usuallyland
be blissful? I have
habit with
some
at
arrangement
is the final result of
just take
could
they
about
talking
arrangement
ordeal.
to-wear
chair-clothes-closet
the
not
am
This
If
have
you
some
we
We
this
now
have
a
wastebasket
brigade.
did
particular
receptacle
have
seeingthat
it down
to
a
little
a
schedule.
all wastebaskets
gets too bored with the chore.
way no one
without
room
Just couldn't pass up your girl's
like the ga-ga
It's a great life some
pictures.
so
are
go
on."
Each
emptied.
This
"
a
word
boys
about
from
the
Your
98
Teen-Agers
cinema, others go for the
big,he-man
phase until it
girlgoes through the
be done
onlythingto
about
suitable for exposure
at least a
up
ROOM
athlete.
About
itself out.
wears
the
that the picturesare
first,
it is to see,
and
in her room,
Apparentlyevery
putting them
then that in
littleplaster
is left for the
batch.
next
His
"
up!"Why they think the females of
after them, I don't
the familyshould go cleaning
up their rooms
also. To
know. It is good for the boys to learn a few routines
the dust mop
is not going to hurt anythingbut their dignity,
use
that won't be permanentlyinjured.
and even
frills in Junior's
of course,
but he has
There
are
no
room,
enough other junk and trappingsto take up the space of your
knocked
frills.Have
out by a punching
girl's
you been practically
bag extended from an unexpectedspot?I have trouble every
"It's not
sissyto clean
and
now
then
fact,there
example,in
this
are
not
too, has
to
rules for
as
keep
for
As
girls.
their dresser
arrangement than their
in
for
pictures as
the house
The
room.
they are
if
matter
a
of
drawers, for
The
girls.
a
responsibility
to acquire
likely
the
aspect of this
moral
And
seriously.
ness
orderli-
room
a
a
sisters do.
do
parents have
of the collections
be considered
matter,
morallyobjectionable
not suggest that you sneak it out.
up, I would
after a discussion,so that the
be removed
deliberately
picturedoes
It should
well
the better. You
point.Some
worth
as
between
difference
The
boys who
far better
cheesecake
more
boys
teen-age boys go
Some
at
for
some
are
clear the
sportsmuseum.
a
hold
should
make
trying to
and
room
sleeping
it
show
has meaning to your young guy.
disappearance
In general,
though,you can't forgetthat boys have certain
their room
tastes. They should have some
ment.
arrangesay regarding
and simplicity,
like comfort
of them
Most
so
get their
fatal
do
suggestionsand let them
Remember
was
fingermarks
and
there; then
it
not
was
all
came
a
littleof their
too
long ago,
own
ing.
interior decorat-
that their
decorating
red crayons smeared
the collection period.That is when
over
the walls
or
here
you
100
Your
Teen-Agers
for
It simply takes one
wire
yourself.
hanger and two
clothes pins very simple.
spring-clip
Hanging is not the only thingin skirt care either. There is
such a thingas watching for spots and wrinkles. Girls should
be expectedto do much
of this for themselves. There are many
tween
times when
they can do a littlespot removing and pressingbethe regular
is sent out for cleaning.
periodswhen clothing
some
"
has his break
Buster
and put
carefully,
such
should
as
you usuallyiron his shirts,fold them
Other articles,
ever,
howin their proper place.
"
them
and
socks,handkerchiefs, shorts,T-shirts,
sweaters
also be
kept in neat arrangement. Ties should be either
neatlyfolded and placed in a drawer or better hung on a tie
rack. The slacks,
like Sis's skirts,
should be properly
hung. There
are
regularpants hangers,but if he does not have that equipment,
here's a littletip.If he does fold them over
hangers,try
wooden
these do not leave the sharp crease
to find some
ones;
at the wrong
placeas the metal hangersdo. Help Buster learn
and orderliness of his wardrobe.
and wrongs
the rights
in care
BELONGINGS
So
after
The
help me!
look
trail is the evidence.
jacketfinds
left by the time
a
a
felt like the firstcomer
once
who
just arrived.
you know
First the books dropped in the living
chair
the
and
in
kitchen
the
diningroom,
is reached
and
lands
whatever
there. Your
good-sizedclosets,but
there is still the temptation to toss thingsinto the most
venient
conplaces.Their books do not belong on the piano, of
that is a very attractive place.
but for some
reason
course,
Space
from
should be planned for all your youngster's
belongings,
the placeis provided
schoolbooks to playequipment.Then when
that they be
consistently,
you will have to insist,firmlyand
youngsters may
have
than
more
trail blazer. One
a
room,
is
I have
their
put there.
If, on the contrary, you
your
children's
to look
have
belongings,then
anythingshort
with
rooms
not
you
of hurricanish.
planned certain
cannot
placesfor
expect your
home
Living With
Hurricanes
101
BATHROOM
The
bathroom
been
be
can
has
not
all
doing their
"
order.
for your
of you
most
baths
have
for each
be
sharingto
very definite
youngsters regardingtheir share
Certain
.
.
in bathroom
done.
each
the floor,ring around
on
about.
scattered
be made
if a family
sights,
four familymembers
awful
with
scene
towels
tossing
own
rules should
of
the
trained. Picture
the tub, washcloths
Since
of those too
one
good fortune to
the family,
there
the
not
member
of
There
.
is the
is
dividual
in-
heap
a
toothbrush
of the
matter
have
specialspace. A rather difficult
the other forgets
situation
arise if one
to put his back
can
or
in the proper
place.Then there is the always overflowing
medicine
cabinet in which usually
almost anythingbut medicine
be found. With
the whole familyadding their contribution
can
holder, with
that poor
to
for the
for
after-shave
much
space
stuff which
treatment,
be
will
Buster
each
the
to
be
tained
main-
dustingpowder
be
gettinginto
will go the
on
given to
belongs in
has
using Mother's
hair tonic, and
is to
order
cabinet, some
will find himself
colognefor
cream
how
forlorn small
Pop
or
member's
member
cabinet, and
her
mix-ups.Decide
in
the
family
assign shelves
accordingly.
There
is
habit
which
people very much.
That
is the careless habit of letting
damp towels lay wherever
bath. Others plop over
the towel,
or
they land after a rubdown
the floor gets wet
and dirty,
to say nothingof the wear
and
tear on
good towels. Train your Sis and Bud to pick them up,
and keep at it until the habit is formed.
They should not put
them in the clothes hamper or laundrychute while stilldamp,
but organize your own
rules about this problem.
And,
now
ringaround
one
for the
one
the bathtub.
which
There
annoys
you
most
have
been
That
anticipating.
somethingabout that ringthat
of you to react
most
causes
violently.
Help your youngsters get
into the ring-removinghabit. There
is always some
convenient
providecleanser and a cleaningcloth for
space where
you can
is
102
Your
this purpose.
Teen-Agers
be
there
will
house.
Well
providethe tools,then
If you
no
excuse.
Or
maybe
it is
are
shower
curtains
the
matter
of the
the bathroom.
where
or
for
an
wonder
the
"
the
where
his
names
on
each
love
whether
when
periods,
towel
particular
Bud
is also
all
shower
to
it up
the
to
bath,
a
over
point
athletic
an
one
no
leaves
adhesive
the extra
in, does
be
remembei
reposed,I printedoui
carefully
placedabove
strong that
strong hint, so
decorations
dirt
During
mine.
to
prevails
hali
furious,
me
seemed
tape. These
a
a
of the
most
It makes
ever
washcloth
and
sometimes
rushes
usuallyhappens to
were
paraphernalia
remove
there
place.There
it is
in the washbowl.
towel
nearest
owner's
had
who
towel, and
nearest
rather than
stripsof
could
we
into
where
one
of these
one
back
takingplace.
closest-towel phase,which
the
a
because
your
that is
opera
the towel
on
at
use
overambitious
period
job,grabs the
wash
you
folded
They splash,
sing,and whoop
is then
There
be
to
sometimes
you
contest,
shower
a
before
long a period
too
passed.
Well,
help
for the bathroom.
much
so
the smallest
this
realize that
teeners
your
in the
room
house,
The
important thingis
particularroom,
be shared
must
by
tc
probably
all.Therefore
will not be
kept orderlyso that familymembers
breakinglegson misplacedsoap, and breakingtempers on dirty
tubs,soggy towels, and generalclutter.
be
it must
KITCHEN
Have
you
ever
home
come
find the kitchen
shambles?
a
from
a
should
be
in favor
recipe,but
cake
kitchen
at school
learn the
most
on
.
is
.
so
.
shoppingtc
I view
littleexperimentation.You
daughterexperimenting with
it's strange how
different from
scientific methods
the
the
one
at
Domestic
home.
of cleanliness. For
a
new
Science
There
some
they
son
rea-
into the home.
rules over
There's
carry the same
from the
the floor,a dab of frosting
drippinggracefully
they can't
flour
of your
a
of
is short when
My temper
confusion, all for the sake of
such
long ordeal
Living With
kitchen
a
faucet, cake
the
remedy
To
mess.
routine
same
after
cleans up
LIVING
and
103
the drainboard
on
you will have
this situation
good
don't
oh, what
"
pretty much
to use
again: "The
over
baking and cooking.You
housewife
."
Mother
see
.
.
sink in.
to
ROOM
"Juniormy best
dirtyshoes on your
should
livingroom
overlived
so
dumped
tins
over
it is bound
Soon
Hurricanes
rules for
in
." you might scream
he plops his
as
favorite needle point.They will do it. The
.
.
be
not
that it
in
living
never
house
a
for adults. Of
as
a
showplace,but neither need it be
looks presentable
for guests. The
should
be the
if
course,
Pop
for these youngsters
same
the paper
tosses
the
on
floor after
readingit, you cannot
yelltoo loudlyat Junior for
doing the same
thing.They should relax in the livingroom, but
stillfeel the responsibility
for keeping it orderly.
CLEANUPS
"A
those choice
your
fun!" The
party, what
You
nights.
homes
for your
gang
should
is
coming
for
over
the
certainly
encourage
teeners' fun. But
there
is the
of
one
of
use
of
matter
their
for cleaning
room
responsibility
up. If theyuse a rumpus
good. Generallyteeners do not objectto pitchingin and doing
the cleanupsbefore leaving.
I do not
mean
a
generalhouse
but carryingout the after-party
clutter
for example,
cleaning,
"
"
puttingthe
grocer,
seen
as
group
with
HOME
have
teeners
the party when
"
YOURS
Hurricanes
is that of
home
of
as
in full
the
be used,
be returned
about.
napkinsstrewn
much
fun
with
to
the
I have
their K.P.
duty
swing.
some
helpingthem
of your
maintain
which
youngsters.Your
the calm
you live belongs not
but to all the members
who
live under
in
to
case
THEIRS
AND
it is for
into
the paper
pickingup
or
a
coke bottles back
enjoyed,and
shared.
of orderliness. The
just to you
the
responsibility
same
the
parents
roof. It is
to
104
Your
if
But
home
fully,
sharing
It
of
But
over
teen
days,
what
with
them.
disorder
"How
chapter
with
other
you
simply
Shall
order
with
I
and
of
if
bear
their
live
and
habit
a
it, for
it, seek
too
period
they
up
ness
orderli-
of
normal
the
in
connection
chaotic
that
advice.
might
believe
your
will
so
your
in
out
in
becomes
you
If
"
brought
mentioned
you
I
Over
from
over
teeners
was
humor,
which
soon
this
neatness.
grow
most
some
that
of
patterns
in
been
has
period?
sense
is:
answer
which
you
lived
example-setting.
left
carelessness
with
with
of
hurricane
period
a
at
really
is
over
in
matter
of
As
hurricane
the
the
confusion
Tick."
along
hope
the
is
work
to
it
shove
self-check
a
bit
if
in
disorder.
only
The
There
cannot
patience
form
then?
matters,
after
a
them
even
healthy
a
responsibility
Put
neat
escape
show
They
home
face
their
see
usable.
general
to
period
a
"
Grin
have
habits
own
your
and
to
it
them
cannot
you
you
the
give
to
throwing,
again
and
keeping
keep
to
them
their
enjoy
to
youngsters
your
help
of
job
your
tossing,
to
work
tasks
is
encourage
should
you
the
delegated
in.
to
are
you
Teen-Agers
if
you
be
can
grown-up.
bear
will
youngsters
earnestly
so
into
emerge
hope
to
some
up
begin
mold.
"Hi
Pal! What's
YA
this eve?"
There
on
That's
puristsfrown.
are
And
which
SAYING
i
do
than
much
there
matter
conversation,
a
few
they
hear
think
of
like
"Yea."
his
of how
criticism!
the
slayingthe language
usages
which
upon
things about
the
teen-age
versation
con-
training.
of communication.
than
others.
make
together to
said, the
has
own
your
become
sparklingpassages
livingroom?"
the
somewhat
this:
as
One-syllableJohn certainlydoes
dull. You
children
"John, what
Response:
stripes?"
Response: "Ugh!" "Well,
clarityof
youngsters'
your
of your
shall
not
more
There
sentence.
little sluggishabout
a
it is
Saying
a
of
Some
of voice, and
tone
brilliant conversation
do
"Um?"
you
"Would
it?"
do
we
when
Finally
eloquence
promote
family.
for
be
should
conversation
teeners
to
specialoccasions.
them
medium
a
get
because
such
expect your
the
few
of your
it is
you
papering
Good
for
of certain
a
some
words
scarcelyexpect
in
are
of
shuffle
the
at
hold
But
tidychore
a
communicating
more
thought.Somehow
you
do
all victims
is called
putting
is the
can
conversation?
you
reflect
slough 'em
gonna
IT
Conversation
us
You
teen-age
We
own.
your
cookin'?
when
times
are
*Ckeytalk
Mow
10
CHAPTER
put
on
It is the
communicating
with
sponsored at
their
home.
conversational
You
and
confidence
just
matters
day-to-daytalkingwhich
ease
cannot
prepares
when
out
of
home.
SLIPS
"Let
the school
do
it!" This
is the
105
comment
you
hear
regarding
106
Your
simplegrammar. The
slipinto bad habits.
school
others
"he don't"
are
that
ones
either
I do
will
get
they will
it! I
face in the form
of
better
set
though,to
a
a
got" artist.
happy
learn with
to
old pet words
if
your
they will follow
or
trying
point is that
from
can
Some
of those
one
reactions
two
you,
be
case,
often? The
of
one
have
you
it! You
undo
can
"have
a
am
too
correct
of your
some
it. You
Do
specialists.
the former
habits. In
will find
does
keeps returningall
careless,you
are
Teen-Agers
you
dren:
chilbad
your
them.
coming alongwith
a
You
new
changed and (correct)pronunciation.It's
correct
example in the first place.
SLANGUAGE
language is reallyno longerEnglish.You might call it
without
Slanguage.You can scarcelycarry on any conversation
form of slang.
And it does have its place.
Sometimes
using some
Our
it
clever lift to
gives a
and
suits
then
and
you
these
forceful
a
It is rather
at
dull collection of words.
slangword is much more
But overused
its "good"equivalent.
You
begin to like a word
pointless.
Sometimes
than
otherwise
an
you
it
use
amusing, how
coinages of
your
so
toss
monotonous
think
you
up
"How
teeners.
Can't even
understand
gibberish?
of
tried handing some
you ever
amazed
expressionsthey take on
when
they go to extremes.
it becomes
particularly
that it loses all its force.
much
you
picturesque
or
could
what
this
hands
your
they are
back
"jive"
is worth
horror
in
they use such
Have
saying."
to
them?
it! It is worth
The
it,also,
SWEARING
"George,the
distress. "Please
stillas
sore
a
habit with
without
If you
in
about
as
in the
uncommon
such
in shocked
utters Mommie
p-1-e-a-s-e!"
what, the children?" respondsGeorge. "I am
children
shocked
are
it
average
some
seems
one
car." Scenes
that
home.
adults that
The
to
use
carry
of
on
like this
are
not
becomes
profanity
a
normal
tion
conversa-
strange.
of those
surprisewhen
adults you
you
hear
cannot
stammer
certainly
letting
go like
your teeners
108
Your
Teen-Agers
the
rightthing.This is one of the problemsthat should be
handled
by both father and mother. You all need to guide and
counsel your own
in what
is clean conversation.
This
offspring
these young
point bears emphasis.Most frequently
thingshave
no
they are saying. This is where you
very clear idea what
of the meanings,
should step in with your help.If they are aware
then I believe that strict measures
of punishment
in the form
deserved if theypersistin their use.
are
not
AIDS
YOUR
THEM
TO
but you have
a
only the job of example-setters,
priceless
opportunity to aid them in becoming conversationalists.
will need
of the rules
to relearn a few
Perhaps you, yourself,
in order to pass them
I cannot
on.
begin to give you all the
few helpful
hints
But there are
a
techniquesof good speaking.
which
in the practiceof day-to-day
might be used effectively
Yours
is not
small talk
PLEASANT
Voice
at
OR
house.
your
UNPLEASANT
placementis
listen for hours
can
be
important factor
an
You
good speaking.
in
peopletalk. With
to some
others
it must
...
one's
hearingapparatus is not attuned to such discords. A
good healthydose of air in the lungsis what enables the sound
boxes
with pleasantresonant
words.
The
out
to
most
come
be a total flopif she has a whining,
attractive teen-age girlcan
voice. It is a simpleenough process to help her at
high-pitched
"Lower
home.
your voice, dear," might do it. If the remedy
be a wise
does not
effect a change, it would
investment
to
providea few speechlessons.
heard a play
"Enunciate, e-n-u-n-c-i-a-t-e! ! !" Have
you ever
director
this
scream
at
a
the
yearlyplay? This
but
for those at the other end
is afraid
who
almost
and
of
a
mouth
to
open
is
a
of
high schoolers
problem not only
for the
of the conversation.
Have
group
his mouth?
His
words
in rehearsal
come
for
speaker
you
one
muffled
out
as
indistinguishable
though they were
coming out
full of hot mush
"Blurb, shs
splush. ." It is
"
"
.
.
.
.
.
bad
enough
for
the
Talk
They
How
family
109
translate
to
but
his conversation,
always so patient.A positivehelp
has
If Buster
such a youngster might be to stop translating.
repeat what he has to say often enough, he will, in self-
those
to
to
the outside
on
defense, open
be
and
up
understood.
let his words
This, like many
of laziness
matter
not
are
of
"
bad
Well, you
should
have
a
seems
can
mere
a
start
out
type
some
of all circulation.
out
mouth,"
with, "Open your
time
merry
though
as
word
is
words
effort. The
but the endings are
lost. It
clearly
of swallowingprocess sweeps
the
that he
so
speech habits
much
justtoo
out
come
"Breathe
Soon
deeply,enunciate
they should get
your words."
tired hearingit as you get in saying it.
as
Then
there are
the speedsters.
These
the ones
who
are
are
always,almost late, so they must
say it in a flash and a dash.
You
breathless justthinkingabout them. To
can
get positively
these,it is always,"Slow down, you'reexceedingthe speed limit!"
Of
there
course,
is also
the
other
extreme
the
"
carefree
lad
who
expends energy and an hour to say, "Yes, Ma'am." Some
slow down.
Perhaps this all
you have to prod, others you must
sounds
portant
very simple not to say trivial,but it reallyis very imthis art of speakingwell.
to your teener's future success
"
"Oh, my
poor
eardrums!"
There
times
are
when
I have
dered
won-
tionalists.
megaphone would help with the too loud conversa"I'm-not-deaf '-ing
it. Screaming instead
I am
constantly
for teeners
when
of talking
unusual
excited.
is not
they become
But
else's
it is wearing!You
might chuckle at it in someone
if
a
home, but
in
it to fail
seen
other
extreme.
ounce
of
in
your
"
learningto
even
if
Their
stage whisper
some,
they are
it. Your
not
the
it,and
say it well
be
I say, "Softer
time
mush
it's worth
to
ceases
every
In
conversation.
but
it
I have.
hearingability
whisperit;some
of
home
To
teeners
teeners
destined
to
must
become
home
it'sown
it; in
screech
never
to
go
strain
to
me
scream
some
finally
I have
mine
please,"
causes
each
can
certainly
amusing.
every
problem
others they
it. This
matter
call for fortitude from
know
famous
how
to
orators.
the
you,
talk well,
110
Jour
WHAT
Teen-Agers
SAY
TO
have certainly
You
impossible.
ability
some
complete inonce,
youngster's
and again in the
to verbalize
a
simple thought.Time
stances
asked some
court, I have
teen-age girlto explainthe circumwhich
broughther to my attention. It has been amazing,
the inability
have displayedin making a response. The
some
and
the mental
circumstances
particular
capacity, of course,
have had some
bearingon these nonconversationalists. Most of
and were
allowed
the girls,
of average intelligence
however, were
if
fair sense
of ease
in order to discuss their problems.But
a
their future planningdepended upon
the thoughtbehind
their
be in prettybad shape!
I fear would
some
replies,
their thinkingand express
The
need to help teeners
clarify
Followingconversation
than
more
experienced,
themselves
the gas
to
ability
if you
what
man
the
state
"scatterbrain"
hat
"And
her
soup
is,is
Oh
the bid
when
one
THE
"
expect the
can
you
house.
your
say.
adult
oh
I bid.
.
person
presenting
By
...
always
creatures
cannot
good
habits
new
the way
have
is in
who
that
a
the
think
recipe for
onion
is the score,
what
I
bridgegame
delightful
party. That
clearlyor
is
a
horrible
express himself
Do's
There
art
a
is
where
what
you call a
groups
like a magpie. Certainlythis,
chattering
in
yes
of these
example of
clearly.
what
on
." You
.
heater
water
merry-go-roundat
they are about to
constant
a
keeps
was
purple,and
...
mean
the
conversationalists,then
all been
have
If Bill is
is important.
However,
simplyand clearly
spoken word to be
Help them concentrate
You
their endeavors.
job or Betty Jane is tryingto explain
symptoms
case
erratic
are
all of
to
afterschool
tryingto get an
to
extends
well
be
can
are
some
you
might
foster in this
happy
of conversation.
Help
them
when
to
I
good listeners. I have had many bad
become
preoccupiedwith something or
be
ments
mo-
other
They
How
and
find
of
myself coming
and
"What
do
you
...
I think
that
is
have
more
very
bit
interesting
of the
one
than
from
111
Pole
the North
think, Mrs.
stages for
been
once
And
teeners.
givingout
with
discussion
a
do
I think?"
then.
floor about
the other hand, I
on
conversation, when
of
to
"What
B?"
gladlyfall through the
I would
This
back
Talk
what
to
was
I noticed
me
that
a
my
guiltyof letting
your
minds
wander
during conversation. It is not a good habit. You
be good listeners by putting some
best help your teeners
can
effort into making yourselves
good hearers of what they have
listener
to
was
not
with
me.
You
are
all
say.
Help them realize that there
Have
saying things.
you known
have dragged your little group
know
the moments!
Of
course,
for youngsters
bated
why,
"
are
those
rightand
tense
I do
not
when
moments
show
them
along
adults always try
to
times
wrong
know.
to
for
you
off? You
make
I have
versation
con-
sat
with
of
out
intelligent
replyto come
of mine. You
do get into the most
one
stupidsituations with
do a fair job of familyconversation
your youngsters. You usually
ing
at home, but for some
reason
you get all panicky inside fearthey will not show off to the best advantage.If they have
what to say and
been a part of familyconversation, they know
when
You
breath
to
awaiting for
some
say it
should
conversation; you
may
of
offspring
at some
surprised
these
encourage
be
yours
to
enter
adults'
of the contributions
seeing more
theycan make to the group. You are now
tion
participaing
by youth in adult panelsand discussion groups. Their thinkis, as a rule, good and you should foster and encourage
track now
and
discussion. Of course, they get off on the wrong
then, but what better training can
they get than to get the
of the best methods
switch back to the righttrack at home. One
for helpsat home
is to allow time for familychatter alongwith
with a resume
the dessert at dinner. It can
of the day's
start
happeningsso that all the familymay share in the glowing
additions,however, in talking
some
reports.You should make
about current
affairs and more
Don't become
serious subjects.
Your
112
rush-minded
so
the haste
to
this leisure type of
that
other
to
get
Teen-Agers
in
trainingis forgotten
things.
DON'TS
SOME
dear?" Where
"Oh, yes, he adores high school, don't you
you
heard
who
does
you get
talkingfor the
all the
devastated
when
be
can
annoying
so
that
they
soon
into
monopolists.It
are
of thing.This
is
sort
you-know-about-that"
Don't shove; they will speak up when
they are
they have something to say.
DON'T
LET
The
be
teeners, in their enthusiasm,
a
that
they must
exchangebasis
Don't
home, of
verbal
and
to
at
much
is the
"George,for
bad
them.
confident
that
home.
often
Too
that conversation
another.
one
sisters
they must
do it
and
Take
brothers
when
even
attitude
the
on
a
are
you
fair
not
don'ts.
take
or
opposer
course,
you
battle. If you
should
teeners
is
talk with
that
let the arguers
constant
your
controlled
so
interrupt
usually,it
learn
the
present with
At
versation
con-
every
It
interruptyou
The
which
and it is
happens at our house constantly,
the conversation.
They do
job,sometimes, to disentangle
bedlam.
hard
not
their
INTERRUPT
THEM
should
interrupters
becomes
more
say
have
habit
another
have
others; that of pushingthem
to
simply
is
themselves.
of conversation, you
matter
then
darlingscannot
Your
teeners
gathering?
"yes"and "no" to any
to speak for
rights.
They want
the
family,and
the parent
at
little
finds her
she
than
In
wild
perfectly
Don't
that one?
have
is
arguer
an
always an
is not
welcome
never
avoid
cannot
in any
occasional
be made
group.
at
of the don't in
aware
art.
good healthy
the "off the chest" method
allow
then
Arguing
over.
home,
arguing
generalconversation.
in
Don't
allow
with
The
names
some
familiarities! I
of
the
new
type of thing where
instead
of the
am
good
stillold school
agree
enough to disthinkingregardinginformalities.
children
old
call
homey
parents by their first
Mother
and
Dad
seems
distasteful
when
to
hear
to
"first
be
to
not
names."
A
that
they
the
regarding
It
she
since
their
to
that
so
honey
honeying,
children
their
have
it.
and
don't.
really
in
"
no
group
bad
of
the
knowledge
Let
conversation.
to
make
will
be
habit
these
teeners
if
gestion
sug-
hearing
"dearie"
into
they
habits,
the
gushyaround
go
You
encounter.
expect
you
your
poise.
Watch
full
and
proper,
after
the
your
for
understanding
an
get
everyone
own
of
is
to
when
patting
your
line
the
in
be
family
gested
sug-
matter
would
situations,
you
disturbed
the
had
they
same
for
discussed
the
wrong
the
easy
are
keep
contribution
not
is
felt
I
was
it
of
use
uncertain
quite
case
of
the
Along
models
knowledge
her.
in
It
this
in
ago
had
were
decide
to
member
a
names
you
final
one
are
a
If
to
that
by
cons.
be
to
teeners
made
question
allowed
the
woman,
they
But
taught
long
too
over
married
The
were
not
discussion
young
it.
like
nudging,
afford
Just
agreed
but
habits,
cannot
was
have.
many
of
they
first
a
be
certainly
amused
was
"Charl."
her
and
and
pros
call
I
serious
very
neighbor,
been
"don'ts"
a
rather
was
had
of
in
propriety
group,
themselves.
familiar.
113
should
youngsters
overly
clan
my
family
Your
me.
Talk
They
How
to
a
enhanced
weather
and
ideas.
them
know
conversation,
by
Your
conversation.
their
Help
that
they
"It's
them
use
when
should
rainy
they
make
isn't
it?"
CHAPTER
Do
ii
]fouKnow
the Schools?
INTRODUCING
and
Hesa
show
They
visitors.
Shesa
child. Their
sweet
laboratory,
put
the
in
in
drawer;
plainerswho
inside
tell off
to
The
do
you
spend
What
about
the
fact that
The
Is
purpose,
even
whole
of
about
the
the
Where
of
of sixteen.
when
is
com-
they
want
schools
a
who
in
their
side
also.
the
is
a
If
tions
tribulateacher?
keep forty in
to
man
there
Poring
trials and
classroom
poor
teeners
of the schools.
the
trying
these
the home?
classrooms
hand,
other
do
line.
ship of
tional
educa-
place for
honest
rigidityfail
to
accept
SCHOOL?
is
your
teener's
second
home.
Education
beyond teaching readin', writin', and
child.
the
skunk
a
notable
these
outside
the
for those
Education
religion.
personnel
hunk
their
in
place and
only
growling about
who
word
On
while
in the
on
so
parent'shave
THE
school
the
school
of
bomb
time
a
of
many
kinfolk.
are
instructor
indignationwhen
a
home
share
good
a
endeavor.
WHAT
too
set
in
unfair, unjust,
treatment
dear, dear
a
of the
parenthood, what
least say
the
far
of their time
most
usual
your
of
At
the
and
Latin, Algebra,and
over
the
ished
cher-
most
teacher.
some
school
of yours
he's
but
are
the
inkwell
every
Unfortunately,there
see
have
darlingmay
pepper
teacher's
lament
just to
up
school's
uncivil, unbelievable
untimely, undeserved,
own
the
Lamenter,
There
the
is
is
an
geared
awareness
to
on
the
the
has
'rithmetic, and
development
part of the
emotional, physical,and
spiritual,
114
today
of
the
school
intellectual
116
Your
Teen-Agers
of both systems becomes
a
financing
of parents
It is the responsibility
part of their budget planning.
to become
speakingacquaintanceswith the problemsof financing
sitated
the fact that the
by
public education.
Do
for
schools
And
or
you
in
of your
who
Why
the
ment?
invest-
costs
operational
town?
which
onlyfinancing
prompt
to
are
protect that
not
friends know
of administration
should
persons
taxed!
are
any
your
it is not
is the matter
You
a
to
should
be
interest
considered.
careful consideration
school
on
serve
boards.
from
you. There
Civic
sibility
respon-
of the selection of
Even
though you
vidual's
knowledge of the indifor leadership,
there are alwaysgood sources
potentials
These are the legislative
to providethis information.
committees
of men's and women's
civic organizations,
political
organizations,
church groups. You have a very special
and some
to see
reason
standards are of the highest personal
est.
interto it that education
You
are
parents. Have you thoughtof giving a little of your
of these issues in the behalf of all of
time in working on
some
the young
they with
people of educatable age? Remember,
adults. They will be managing
your youngsters will be tomorrow's
may
feel far removed
sometimes
a
"
the world
WHO
in
DOES
which
it isn't
of teachers!" Isn't it
to
and
our
school make
a
of the school
about
If you
are
business
to
live.
question the qualifications
to
though?Who
somethingabout
know
will stillhave
TEACHING?
THE
"My dear,
you
has
a
better
rightthan parents
the faculties of the schools? Since
two-member
facultyas
team,
the
you
need
facultyneeds
home
to know
thing
some-
know
thing
some-
to
you.
parents of children
in
publicschools, you
should
What
the attitudes of the
are
personnel.
and
she straightforward
Is he or
progressive or is
principal?
standards?
These
to keep up
there bias and unwillingness
are
Are
the teachers
points which
you have a rightto challenge.
adequatelytrained? This should be an objectiveappraisalof
personnelstandards.
know
about
the school
You
Do
The
the Schools?
Know
parochialschool system
evaluation
been
set
up
interest leads
localities.Such
the
welcome
parents'
It is not amiss
to inquirewhat
cations
qualififor parishschoolteachers in particular
of standards.
have
also should
117
to
improvement.
should
You
be in
the
ment
background to give the encouraging shove to the attainof new
education. The schools wouldn't
heightsin parochial
be functioning
except for you.
Along with the teachers, you should know somethingabout
curriculum
and
follow with
its content.
Certainlyyou cannot
of intelligence
the education
of children, unless
any semblance
and objectives.
Often
content
schools
some
course
you know
include or fail to include subject
which you think vitally
matter
You have both the right
and responsibility
to challenge
important.
what
seems
THE
TEACHER
Afraid
many
to
to
serious
you
meet
the teacher!
parents.They
The
monsters.
and
yours,
omissions.
becomes
to
as
close
very
need
and
they want
seems
the teachers
treat
teacher
That
know
to
be
if
they were
the attitude of
these
to
strange
children
somethingabout
of
the
parents.
I never
hear from that teacher until something
disgusting!
Mrs. Touchy. She is the type of parent
is wrong,"moans
who
invitation
needs a gilt-edged
to go to the school to make
herself known
to a few
to meet
people.The school wants
you.
Of course,
if you barge in, as some
venient
inconparents do, at most
"It's
times, with
the school
may
not
a
strong impressionof your
be
overjoyed.You
the courtesy to learn when
Some
the school
owe
impressivepresence
again."When
appointment. At the
for both
parents
to
meet
you
start
plan to
meet
is convenient.
of the school
the teacher. It is
the teacher, make
year it is
a
important
There are times
somethingof her personality.
difficultiesbetween
personality
your child and his
know
least
at
teacher might give you the "brush-off" because
poor harassed
of an untimelyvisit,and that ends that. "I'llnever
go to
that school
an
this
importance,
own
good
idea
for you
when
teacher
to
certain
cause
Your
118
conflicts.
justifiable
If these
problems reflect in your teener's
school, it is your rightto investigatethe
to adjustat
inability
There
matter.
be
handled
The
have
are
teacher
where
cases
after
Teen-Agers
such
conflicts do exist and
is made.
completeexamination
to know
wants
should
you. This
does
not
that you
mean
personaland familyhistoryfrom Uncle
Ebenezer's
scandal in 1892 to the current
epidemic of spring
fever running through the family.But there are
few things
a
the teacher ought to know. Some
aids toward this knowledge are:
to
all of
spill
1. Financial
your
of information."
kind
of the
contents
financial level
your life will I give that
information
down
to the
specific
information. "Not
No,
not
on
box
safety-deposit
a
generalindication
of
bracket.
income
or
but
"
In the parochial
affiliation.
Religious
system, of course, this
information
of previousknowledge.In other school
is a matter
insightin knowing
systems, however, teachers gain valuable
affiliations.It gives
or
nonreligious
something about religious
them
an
understandingof the culture from which the child
2.
comes.
If you
3. Education.
teacher
naturally
expects
home.
at
but
have
Not
they
can
that your
be
your
had
children
teeners
of
understanding
marital
your
status.
The
parent. If
the
on
your
help
laurels
degree of
same
give the
tion
school informa-
teacher has
knows
better
some
get by
to
if she
offspring
the other
get
achieve
pursuits.
progress in educational
It is wise for you
4. Marital status.
concerningyour
to
should
encouraged to
the
collegeeducation,
a
a
far greater
of the presence
widow
whose
or
absence
of
needs
some
with
a
special
help,a boy'scounselor can giveit. A widower
daughter can get help with his daughter through a
counselor. These
are
helpfulaids to parents in such
woman
one
or
it is
a
son
circumstances.
Specialconditions. Many have certain problems in their
which
homes
might have a bearingon the child's adjustment
to the school. It might be an
it briefly
at school. If so, explain
5.
invalid
parent,
a
poor
housing situation, an
alcoholic
parent,
You
Do
of many
any one
from children.
the Schools?
Know
conditions
or
which
119
varied
causes
reactions
little about
the school know
a
you finish letting
might then compare mutual problemsregardingyour
Well, when
you, you
What
teeners.
school
is the
difficultieswith
him
If
getting?
behavior
better to talk
it is much
home,
at
had
have
you
over
the
It is amazing
problem with the teacher franklyand honestly.
how
such a discussion. It is
much
into
understandingcomes
also
how
amazing
of these
some
much
kinks
alert teacher
an
in
school. Here
experience.Betty was
own
been
constant
a
friends
Her
easily.
anxious
also about
entered
the school; her teacher
With
anxious
were
the prospects of
had
out
my
fifteen. She
had
she
about
going to
work
to
example from
very
the
parents
one
shy girlof
familybecause
a
to
worry
is
do
can
didn't make
her.
a
Betty was
school. She
new
all the details beforehand.
skillful handling,
Betty soon
she made
friends and
her
even
expect miracles, but
cannot
help wherever
they can
began to adjustso well that
home
adjustmentimproved.You
the
with
schools
these
and
can
do
want
to
special
problems.
PROBLEMS!
"A message
the teacher
from
simply bristle at this. Bob
problem in the classroom
about
us
see
it. Accept
if
we
work
should
relationship
be looked
humans;
so
school/
be
one
as
a
fatal
to
wants
parents
behavior
talk
to
you
in effect: "Let
means
out
warning of
parents. And
are
Some
serious
some
the teacher
"
This parent-teacher
together."
in which
such a message
is simplya
planningfor the child. It should not
this
of additional
upon
showing
is
so
to
that fact that this message
can
continuation
'Come
"
grave disaster. Teachers
neither
has
monopoly
a
on
are
pleasant
un-
attitudes.
This
from
message
schoolwork.
specialteeners
Now,
a
of
notch
the teacher
course,
above
theyfit.So what happens?"You
could
not
pass Algebra?"How
could
have
all tend
to
do
with
poor
to
put your own
you
the intellectual bracket in which
can't
mean
the school
that my
Buster
will
possiblyfail Buster?
Jour
120
Obviously,because
The
common
has
common
you
might better
the
with
and
school
work
of your
take your
"
make
can
with
the school
tion
solu-
follow
it out.
vanity is deflated. Still
genius of
let the
guidingthe
Neither
they are.
as
intellectual
should
in
job!
its
what
see
to
try
children
an
You
intelligence.
average
then
face it
done
not
is to
then
suggest and
to
has
this message
to
gets a littlehazy when
sense
nor
you
approach
teacher
But
Buster, the school
it is
sense
the
Teen-Agers
school
child
a
help
educational
you
pursuits
teener.
COMPLAINTS
There
is
fact,wants
in
do
to
and
do
mean?"
you
Barbara
my
95/2 per
bad
are
part of the parent
the
causes
situation
go
where
arises
differences
which
This
school
to
the
is for
action
of the teacher.
But
too
discuss
teacher
be
cannot
and
and
ironed
the
best
often
and
teener
a
it,not
the
out,
instructor,
have
child
as
emotional
are
a
serious
should
change
the parents
sight
it. When
cuss
of the
interest
teacher
loses
an
student
some
cent.
for everyone.
happens? Everyone
working togetheras a team.
of
aim
plaints
com-
be
like this
Scenes
are
ing
in throwjustified
Gretchen
Marryweather
with, "I hear
only gave
of
matter
a
as
there
story. But
would
conflict arises between
serious
parent should
as
teacher
you
the
on
important
When
made.
in
came
you
of the
school,
little bristling
also. What
a
of the
a
if
attitude
an
side
your
Spanish
Just what
Such
hear
complaints.The
complaints.The
out
got 96
file
to
way
to
and
you
a
be
well
about
and
be objective.
It is therefore
wise
to
cannot
difficulty
discuss the problem with someone
removed
from
the particular
condition
who
be objective.
The
can
principalcould be helpful
the
in
are
You
this matter.
able
may
is the
to
do
Principalsare
admit
to
that
face situations
mistake
is to
of the
request
a
their
where
school.
usually good
teachers
you
When
are
can
transfer for the
at
times
happy
not
this
administrators
at
happens,
teener
be
what
wrong.
actually
the wise
involved.
who
thing
Schools?
the
Yow
Know
homework!
Some
Do
121
HOMEWORK
That
term
"
just accept it, but homework
others
There
arguments.
value, they believe, is
The
The
work
and
pages
think
Others
initiative.
a
than
more
the
At
to
the
pursue
and
the
it at
study hall.
rightplace,the
of time.
waste
a
if
"
for
filling
pages
level
school
pupils
furnish
which
papers
Whatever
disagree
or
agree
you
a
develops
of education.
aims
feelingis regardinghomework
discuss
do it in
homework
high
little
do
compensates
assignments for themes
sufficient initiative
than
bring out
to
should
assignments are
homework.
of useless
get reference
your
teeners
disciplinary
one;
home
in school
done
feel
assignments, rather
home
with
struggling
always
seems
who
those
are
(a few) like it;
it; others
hate
"
school.
GRADES
you
stack
your
teener
Do
when
A's. Be
sure
you
walks
in with
know
something of
school, first. Then,
it'swhat
THE
and
the
third person
team
man
may
focal
wanted
you
all
grading system at the
particularly,
grade that counts
in the
"
to
form
teacher
be
you,
the
observed.
the
learningprocess.
two-man
the
forgetthat Billyis
in
conferences,
teacher.
the
so
but
team,
Actually,then,
Billy,and
point of your
the
Sometimes,
picture. The
why
omit
three-way
teen-ager.You
he should
decisions
conference
encourage
have
have
is
him
to
a
him.
learn
important role
an
to
be
made.
important
very
to
in
make
is
a
is
a
three-
regretably,
student
when
relationship
Junior is included
dealingwith his problems or his achievements
The
there
team
valuable
more
which
floor you
not
TRIO
You
you
achieves
should
C's when
B's and
it isn't the
teener
your
grades? It
everythingon
It is
in
is the
a
much
the
cussions
dis-
in school.
one
for
the
fore
decisions,there-
discussing
problems on
Jour
122
UP
JOIN
If
know
to
are
you
There
and
Teen-Agers
the
know
should
school, you
parents'organizations for
are
parochialschools.
The
Association
localities
some
school
been
planned
orderly,informed
to
are
as
for
of
fact that you
whose
the
same
as
to
leads
social
to
parcelof
haven't
order.
discussion, but
You
out
is in
But
why just pay
mothers?
man's
point
dues?
of
healthydiscussion.
alone.
mothers
dues
pay
Are
valuable
Your
forgotten.You
view
only encouraging
you
for you
let
to
friends.
have
this
part of and
been
point
singling
some
parent-teacher
organizations.
afraid to brave the flocks of
thinkingand participationis
is indispensable
in order
to
These
Don't
to
at
parents
sharing of
mutual
not
teeners' school
been
this whole
other
It is important
relationships.
the parents of your
Dad, you
program
for parents
with
The
yours.
on.
promotion
program
meet
an
work
to
educational
this
in
teachers
two;
in
chial
paro-
carry
and
aid
to
an
experiences as parents gives you
same
know
opportunity
the
problems are
help but
The
have
to
the
education;
and
to foster
legislation;
parents. The recognizedvalue of
is the
want
though
al-
tions
organizaand
group
between
relationships
beneficial
of
a
should
things you
standards
jointlyto improve
out
carry
organizationsof parents
these
better
cement
the
way
of
objectives
The
to
groups,
these
name,
pretty
for the
is used
name
Regardlessof
associations.
have
different
a
is
for both
name
generallythe accepted organizational
in
tions.
organiza-
public schools
both
Parent-Teachers'
its
needed.
balance
organizationsare for parents, not for
the women
monopolize what is your
organization as well.
Do
You
Well,
been
looked
KNOW?
now
afraid
do
you
someone
around?
think
would
Remember
pleasantcircumstances.
know
you
bite
the
They
do
your
you
schools
not
want
schools, or
if you
want
to
to
meet
have
you
stepped in
know
you
you
and
under
only when
sush, Junior mustn't
"SusH
.
.
to
her
of
some
.
have
with
in
unsureness
the
are
with
and
my
for
problems;
amazing
WHAT'S
on
do
their
receive
you.
If
we
little
That
would
size
its
the
pretty much
the
the
up
before
sex
the
has
left
sent
"gang."
a
out
first
job
relax.
it
in
is to
guide
to
the
feel
you
take
But
feeling
some
But
reason.
attempt
we
but
woman
a
she
Perhaps
it.
our
by
so
from
same
discussing
personal warmth,
the
me
perhaps
So
it,
themselves
youngsters
job. They
children.
proper
you
of
with
of life
do
to
it
of
difficultyis
facts
talking about
own
consequently they
with
the
some
it
Quit kidding yourself!There
and
when
spins
our
We
stride
examine
teeners.
ATTITUDE?
YOUR
cannot
three-
the
is
thought
own
how
sure
picking
acceptance.
attitudes
own
our
discussion
teeners.
than
mere
my
told
was
discuss
inabilityto
the
know
I
I missed
than
better
way,
at
not
was
help. Well,
was
Mother's
same
youth. I
my
mother
for
SOS
of
tail
into
us
confusion
moments
youngsters?
to
My
it
Sex
parents of
as
sputters and
anxious
your
throwback
but
of
many
roles
our
more
all the
doctor.
so
connected.
is
sex
halfhearted
a
cease
warrant.
to
Why
in
it
causes
seem
sends
which
face
to
word
an
which
subject with
Ginster
talk," says Lena
such
hear
they suddenly
as
spouse
letter word
sex
JCet'sWe Jmnk
12
CHAPTER
are
of
those
how
know
you
information?
one
all mixed
are
don't
Are
still many
are
part
of
up
to
the
If so,
perhaps
who
learned
124
parents who
about
it themselves
approach
group
this
about
simply
the
did
who
chapter
sex
subject
can
from
not
help
your
Let's Be
Frank
125
in which
the clumsy,vulgarway
pals,you can well remember
Sex is no
it was
longerthat mysteriousphenomenon
presented.
which
Grandma
mentioned
never
except in a whisper.It has
It is all but
reached
another
evil) extreme.
(probablymore
in the face in every
It smacks
shouted from the housetops.
us
escape
magazine. We meet its blatancyin the theater. We cannot
discuss it
it. If you are
to face it,these children of ours
willing
far greater
with
The
than
ease
first step, then, is
we.
to
examine
your
attitudes
own
and
Is it for you
somethingnasty?Or is it
always,despite
urge that has to be satisfied,
for jokesand wisecracks?
all laws, civil and divine? Or is it a subject
of God's great gifts
to men
Or is it one
wonderful,
a
blessed power,
given to be used accordingto His rules,and,
when
used, rightand holy and beautiful? This last is the
so
rightattitude,and the only rightone. What about you? You
of you
the two
between
the subject
might try discussing
just
you two parents. This practicesession might help both of you in
of that foolish embarrassment
some
relieving
knowledge about
simply a natural
sex.
"
"
WHEN
TO
Sex
START
,
should
instruction
period.Most
of you
question,"Mamma
where
do
been
babies
come
from?"
the teenage
never
What
fail
did
quicklygive Nancy Lou a piece of candy
and
start
talkingabout something else? Or did you throw in
of those too awful answers:
"The hospital,
one
my dear." These
attitudes are
are
perfectexamplesof what we do when our own
still confused. Along with that first questionshould have come
the educational
of the
names
process of teachingthe proper
functions. You
have
parts of the body and of physiological
undoubtedlyheard the little tot who runs
up to her mother
with "Mommy
I have
to tinkle" or
some
equallysillywords.
to
Well, I will hope that your children were
given the answers
their questions
of this seems
longbefore now. If some
elementary,
you
do?
begun long before
probablystarted with that
have
it should
Blush
and
have
value
in the matter
of
a
review.
126
Jour
To
MOTHERS:
THE
How
Teen-Agers
Do
to
When
It
feel confident that you are
of this series of discussions with
there
be
are
certain
very
do
not
This
few
a
want
your
is the best
part. It also
Then
the
like
that you
ready.You
daughterto
makes
suggest. First
to
certainly
is all fussed."
Mom
degree of
which
tension
a
and
think that "Poor
lessen any
to
way
relaxed
are
ning
begin-
teen-age daughter,
your
little techniques
I should
creates
the time
have
readyto
you
confidence
both
you
her
on
ill at
ease.
place are important. It would be follyto
select a time when
the familywill be interrupting
two
every
minutes.
Try a time when the others are all engaged in their
own
pursuits,preferablyaway from home. The place should
match the time in beingconducive to that "paly"
mother-daughter
Sis's room
relationship.
might be a very good place.
Another
allow
don't try
tip
"
with. These
to
and
do
to
littlesessions should
Sis
ask
to
it all at
justto get
once
be informal
do
questions.You
and
so
over
presentedas
have
not
it
to
make
a
do, you
will
with
a relationship
furthering
the type of relationship
where
she will
girlis concerned
you out and ask, "Mom, what do you think of necking?"
your
seek
rehearsed
be
speech of
missingthe
boat
it. As
a
far
as
so
of fact,if you
matter
"
What
Age
It is not
possibleto give a specific
age.
that
We
are
dealingwith
is far wiser
should
instruction
sex
have
to
impossiblefor
been
to
you
too
know
some
menstruating, certainly
the tenth
the
year. You
instruction
Your
thirteen. It is
Justbe
sure
can
when
reallya
you
do
the first question.
too
late. Since
it all at
age
be
that
depending on
ready
It
it is
daughter will
be
time,
here.
instruction
start
started in
extend
or
stances.
circum-
for it until she
of your knowing when
put it off too long.
matter
not
your
alreadysuggested
preparation should
either do
a
that
early than
period of
daughtermight not
over
with
start
completionof
the
I have
she is
is
ready.
Frank
Let's Be
127
Terms
need
You
I
have
been
hear
some
them.
to
here
referring
taught proper
not
am
be amused
not
examplehave
For
menstruation
cousin'? Or
These
ones.
queer
use.
vulgarterms either. They, I hope,
still
for things,
but you may
names
few of
a
Perhaps you will remember
to
heard
you
reference
these when
"
is made
"my country
"flatones" for breasts?
or
you heard "bussumes"
And
to be discouraged.
pleasewatch carefully
have
are
Correct
terminologythey might pick up.
I cannot
on
some
help but comment
used by girls
today.
for smutty
words
sometimes
teeners
terms
off the roof
"the curse,""falling
"
usages
the
at
it immediately.
of the
back-alley
Menstruation
"You
are
imitate
in
mother's
"
Soon
growing up.
you
dress-updays
your
and
pumps
when
"
might be
and
memories
sweet
your
tried
lady you
around
stumbled
you
old sheer." This
her
somethingfilled with
will be that
the
her
to
in
beginning
anticipated
dreams.
When
you
begin your
They are:
1. The
ovaries
side of the
2. The
3. The
4.
the outside
ova
of the
Menstruation
that
explaining
ovaries
"
either
on
the
which
lies above
the
most
ova
this
muscular
of the
as
and
an
to
the
extendinglaterally
the ovaries.
produced
in
the
egg.
be
explainedsimply.You could begin by
manifestation is related
approachingphysical
function, that of motherhood.
cherished
or
uterus
tubes
generative element
known
may
canal
body.
two
female
"
Otherwise
woman's
organ
muscular
curved, cylindrical
"
the lateral surface
ovaries.
glandularbodies
organs.
pear-shaped.
is
vagina
5. The
to
hollow, muscular
"
Fallopiantubes
from
almond-sized
two
"
should
uterus.
uterus
vagina.It
exit to
begin your discussion of menstruation, you
own
thinkingin a refresher of the female
eggs
are
produced.This part
of the
In the
body
128
Your
Teen-Agers
works
definite system. Every twenty-sixto
accordingto a fairly
thirtydays the process of the ovaries sends a hormone
along
the lining
of the uterus
which
filled with watery fluid
becomes
and blood. This uterine liningis thus prepared to receive the
ovum
or
egg.
While
breaks
this process
from
away
ovulation.
The
tube
is
its
going
and
case
egg then
from
and
there
there is conceived
taken
has
leaves the ovary.
This
egg
beginsits trip.First
joinswith the male
travels
which
an
on,
the
enters
baby.The
a
and
egg
the Fallopian
If the egg
the sperm
as
is called
it enters
uterus.
seed, known
matured
or
in
tozoa,
sperma-
thus
sperm
its
joined
the
especially
preparedliningof the uterus to
the egg does not join the
begin the growth of tie baby. When
male seed, there is no
need for this especially
preparedlining
are
into
of the uterus
from
function.
to
the canal
from
natural
a
of the uterus
the
"month"), or
By
and
This
body.
the
enters
known
is
vagina
and
is discharged
(meaning
mensis
as
itself
it loosens
process
menstruation.
Motherhood
Since
in
menstruation,
discussing
for motherhood,
best
can
you
explainthe
to
known
male
sex
called the
penis
in
your
organ.
which
the spermatozoa
as
use
what
love f6r each
other
are
is called
The
Done
act
marriage, and
in
but
for
holy one.
peoplingHis
a
love and
that
a
desire
mutual
In your
woman
in
to
the
feels
at
beautiful
done
It is
seminal
an
ordained
act
reproduce a
one
fluid.
to
a
man
is not
by
Marriage
love by
the
ing
join-
and
only
the Creator
wife.
good
a
self
Him-
completeexpressionof
child as a lasting
monument
the
of motherhood
being the
of
union
this
properly,
world. This is
giving of
discussion
a
It is
produces seeds
expelledthroughan organ
providesthat completionof the feelingof true
reproducinga child. The marital act, or intercourse, is
bodies
a
testes
then
of the two
as
the fulfillment of motherhood.
over
starting
pointin talking
wise
preparationhas been begun
a
a
true
to
other.
emphasizethe happinessa
nourishes
It is she who
one.
privileged
Let's Be
Frank
129
baby through its nine months
period of development,and then gives that baby to the world.
The unwarranted
fears that can
be impartedby the old tales of
the terrific pains and gory details of having a baby are
tunate.
unforYou
might tell Betty Ann what a divine thrill you experienced
at having her.
and
carries, in her
the
uterus,
Curiosity
You
will have
to
good judgment in
use
the
in which
manner
you
about
present this heart-to-heart talk. If you get all jittery
and
rush into the story with
it
speed,there is a danger of
lightning
half-answered
mind.
leavingsome
questionsin your daughter's
The explanations
of that developmentmust
be done well so that
there does
these
It is in
that you
a
for testingout.
curiosity
little intimate
begin to
with
the
remain
not
set
discussions
the ideals of
up
with
daughters
your
marriage. Don't
get
fused
con-
the modern
thinkingregardingsex being a matter of
malistic
to the anisimplephysicalrelease. Most of us react violently
attitudes which
prevailin some
quarters.Why pretend
that such
know
attitudes don't exist
that you
or
avoid
the discussion
of them?
be
holdingBetty Jane'shand
when
she finds herself a part of a group
that expounds the
theorythat free sex expressionis good.
I think we
the point where
should not only
I have reached
give our daughtersour attitudes,but also talk about those opposed
For example,talk about the two
to ours.
opposed polesof
thought.You might go about it like this: "Betty,a woman's
is her virginity."
Point
out
that,
greatest giftto her husband
from infancyon, we
start settinga pattern of ideals to fit into
You
whatever
status
are
choose
we
which
requiresmany
which
go into
this
make
buj
a
Sex
state.
as
physicalact
a
adults. Since
marriage is
understand
must
is basic
success.
marriage.If
removed
from
Sex
the
as
you
a
career
ingredients
marriage.It
to
point out, needs
some
marriage
fulfillment of love in
is
as
skills,
we
type of skill which,
to
going to
not
is not
the
practiceand experience
describe
it is the
there is the attitude that
the ideals of
sex
marriage,then
the
Teen-Agers
Jour
130
deep feelingof givinglove
realize the
of
importance
or
glorified
degraded by
a
its real
in
sex
them
missing.Help
is
mate
meaning,
not
it is
as
stylesof thought.
some
Differences
Some
It is wise
differences
Tell them
We
to
between
how,
as
it should
be
however.
What
as
are
a
invitation
sex
so
boys' reactions.
for affection.
through a hug
to
Boys
us.
that
constructed
simple demonstration
to
and
different needs
normal
essential
of the
some
to
of affection
explained,is
They
an
have
females, we
is meant
girlmeans
referred
their reactions
demonstrations
crave
This,
daughtersknow
let your
to
or
kiss.
a
ently,
differ-
react
their love is
of affection
cal.
physito
the
activityto the boy. When
sexual
I
thought regardingthe physical
think of a
needs
of women
in sex, I was
showing how some
based
with man's.
woman's
reaction
the physical
as
on
coinciding
should
be handled
when
ing
talkThis is not true and such thinking
with
daughters.Since petting and necking will be
your
ences
treated later in the chapter,
I will not pursue the essential differand boys.The only emphasis
in sex
girls
responses between
think you ought to make
I would
of this difference,
is that because
a
girlshould be taught to guard her affection needs so
that she will not cause
the boy in her life to go beyond proper
the
to
school
new
of
limits.
Treatment
In
your
her
of Self
the
discussing
daughter the
own
body.
Cleanliness
has
development.It
into
matters
various
care
been
bears
of feminine
aspects of
and
discussed
you.
in
you
she
should
the
chapter
repeating,however.
hygiene
bathing duringmenstruation
your daughter gain confidence
some
attitude
"
to
explainto
must
sex,
such
as
have
on
toward
physical
It is essential to
the
need
for careful
prevent unpleasantodors.
in you,
so
that if she
irregular
dischargefrom the vagina, she
She should regard the care
of her body
go
Help
might notice
will report it
to
important
to
as
132
some
in
Your
Teen-Agers
fathers do
maybe most
planningtheir talks with sons
"
instructions
sex
not
"
from?
come
go
do mothers.
as
Did
throughthe
father
your
ordeal
same
Where
did
take you
your
aside and
you? If he did not and you picked it up along the
out, as many, with incorrect terminology
way, you probablycame
which
almost
and
makes
certain
the retelling
misunderstanding
If you do feel a littleinadequate
to do it,find a way
impossible.
but don't look to your wife to perform this task for you. Here
are
a few
tipsif you feel a littleshaky about the whole thing.
it to
give
When?
Sex
for your
instruction
It could
babies
Whatever
for the
with
as
from?"
come
shaver.
be,
This
should
boy
little
your
have
could
the
of
discussion
man-to-man
developslater than your daughter,you
be postponed.
That is not too
can
should
instruction
that he
be
given around
understand
may
"
he
when
made,
"Where
was
a
do
little
is the
now
time
Since
subject.
your son
sion
might think this discuswise.
the age
of the
some
his first question.
daughter
been
have
preparation you
with
start
Some
preparatory
of twelve
in
order
biological
changestaking
This type of instruction
on
placein girls.
reproductionas it relates
to the girls'
of the unfortunate
developmentshould do away with some
suffer at the remarks of untrained,
experiencesadolescent girls
uninformed
"smarties." You do not want
your boy to be
of these. I will give some
one
suggestionson handlingthis subject
under the heading of marriage.
Plan It
do
not
this chore
of
You
tries to
do
want
sex
his
be
to
a
instruction.
dinner, for example. Plan
discussion
intimate
and
warm
to
if you
catch
of the
your
to
By
the
on
telling
be
interest. I
arrange
it
so
day rightin
snatcher, I
time
run
the
man
snatcher,Dad, when
time
"
between
and
time
to
can
it done
see
that you
do
the middle
the
golfgame
place.You want
where
man,
one
mean
not
your
on
a
make
of your
son
do
you
can
who
and
this
feel
excursion,
fishing
biggest
your
talk. Plan
it
so
Let's Be
that there
will be
is
so
any
case,
the
two
you
because
carefully,
over
related
closely
the
set
of
scene
133
If
interruptions.
no
small doses, think it
Frank
so
that
too
much
preferto
most
to
it in
of this instruction
division is
that it is conducive
do
a
not
good.In
relaxed
"just
you" feeling.
Physiology
Just a
littlerefresher in the
names
of the
parts of the body
might be helpfulto you in your discussion.
two
1. Testes
glandularorgans which are enclosed in what
is called the scrotum.
They are suspended by the spermatic
cords. The testes or testicles contain
gland cells. The seminal
cells which
produce the spermatozoa are found here.
2. Prostate
a
gland which resembles a largechestnut. This
gland producesthe seminal fluid.
of erectile tissue
3. Penis
long mass
composed of three
parts: root, body, and glands.
4. Spermatozoa
male
generativeelements produced in the
carried in the seminal fluid. These elements are
testes. They are
"
"
"
"
otherwise
known
the male
as
seeds
or
sperm.
might find your approachmost simplyby beginningwith
the explanation
of the physicaldevelopment.For
example:
"Son, around the age of fourteen, you will begin to take on the
role of an adult man
like Dad." When
the
you begin to explain
include a function they have
function of the testicles,
you can
that is, the secretion
other than producing the sperm,
of a
substance which is absorbed
for
by the blood and is responsible
the male
characteristics such as the deeper voice, the beard,
heavier bones, and narrow
pelvis.
You
can
explainto your son the essential differences between
the body of a boy and
that of a girl.
In the main, these are
sex
glandsin the male, the testes which produce the sperm and
the ovaries
which
in the female
produce the ova. You should
also explainthe development of the breasts of the girl.
This
You
can
be done
babies
as
by
the
he has
repeatedstory of
seen
done
by
how
animals.
humans
nourish
their
Your
134
Teen-Agers
Marriage
Your
should
son
into manhood
which
of fatherhood.
The
which
when
body, known
a
in
child.
the
ova
the
into
will
woman
in
fluid known
a
of the female
and
as
giving himself
fine and
wonderful.
of the
of
privileges
of the
and
sperm
that
reproduce
These
are
the
more
It is wise
his role of
in
something
degradedby some
it up
so
sex
sperm
joinswith
sperm
has
Point
this state, the
ova,
and
nourished.
the female
will be
son
your
the
stress
can
you
more
as
has
Nature
womb
mother's
providedthe
in
which
blood.
The
baby
grows
nine
survive
can
child is then
here, Dad, with
comments
throughwhich
for
Junior.To
waiting to
fetus in her
with
the
it
or
become
be
you
proceed
female
It takes
point where
the mother.
Then
child
the conceived
carries
If there is
an
of those
lived while
for nine
child
of the
to
by
woman
months.
uterus
by
the
grow
to
protectiveshelter
could
never
you
a
is nourished
its
You
how
called the
organ
for the
without
born.
with
body
and
months
some
meeting
no
rids itself of this substance
body
is called menstruation.
the
to
wife's
respectingand
the child is encased
or
and
man
woman.
The
union.
woman's
guardinghis role.
might then proceedto explainhow the woman's body prepares
for motherhood
by supplyinga protectivefluid in which
in
You
what
the
child is conceived.
a
Marriage and
trends, Dad,
current
wonderful
aided
this marital
in
reproducea
throughthe penis the
semen.
thus
a
love in order
releases
vaginaltract
the spermatozoa
as
man
emphasize the God-given privilege
to
is
of sincere
now
depositedin
is
this act, the male
During
emitted
known
of the
ova
the sperm
demonstration
spermatozoa
the
is
intercourse, is the joiningof
as
a
are
which
by
act
the
developing
physical
potentialities
marriage.He
provideshim with
testes produceeggs
joinedwith
child. The
bodies
his role in
see
and
a
father
good potential
a
mother.
embellish
in
your
forgotten
experiences
Mom
is
as
were
ing
wait-
important
as
Emissions
In
explainingemissions
or
wet
dreams,
it is wise
to
explain
Let's Be
also the
vascular
Frank
known
reaction
as
135
which
erection
an
times
some-
sleep.This is often caused by an irritation in
turning and tossingin sleepor by exciting dreams. It should
be explained
that now
your son has developedto the point where
his body begins to store
he may
up these seeds. Periodically
the dischargeof what you might call
experience,while asleep,
The ejectionof this oversupplyis called a nocan
turnal
oversupply.
in
occurs
emission
that this is
be
not
dream.
wet
or
Be
normal
perfectly
a
sure
that your
physicalreaction
understands
son
which
should
him.
upsettingto
Masturbation
Masturbation
This
is
practiceyou
for the purpose
in adolescent
common
understand
must
before
you
boys than
can
in
girls.
discuss it with
is the
Masturbation
son.
your
more
of sexual
handlingor rubbing of the penis
The
in an
pleasureresulting
ejection.
tion.
morallywrong because it is a misuse of the sexual funcSex is designedby the Creator
primarilyfor the procreation
of children,to be used only in marriage.When
used for
solitary
pleasureit violates both its purpose and its condition
habit is
of
use.
don't
But
be
called
manliness.
it. Masturbation
might
discussing
deliberate destruction
of the potent qualities
of
a
Its danger lies in the fact that generally
it is done
either
secretly
a
make
it
and
in
or
a
and
with
difficulty
in sports.Keep
participation
can
group. Knowing it is wrong
anyone
masturbation
having some
into bed
in
he is
the
on
to
emissions
the
him
cannot
work
with
your
habit, help him.
busy so
out
that when
the
If he
son.
Encourage
he tumbles
all the aids that
Again,use
readyfor sleep.
give. If you
creates
boy'spart which can
ence
help him. Explainthe differ-
secretiveness
impossiblefor
between
is
alone
of shame
sense
shock
betrayany
solutions,call
religion
on
the
experts.
Jours
Personally
While
you
are
doing this job of
sex
education,Dad, there
are
136
Your
certain
Teen-Agers
discussions
intimate
will
you
want
have
to
son
regardingphysicalreactions
know
somethingabout the difference in reactions
You
should explainthe easy excitation
girls.
and
pictures of half-clad
at
which
often unavoidable.
are
reaction
is
physicalwhile
demonstrations
this
Double
a
certain
body
situations
that his
can
added
necking and
on
as
ing
touchkissing,
cause
a physical
will be
control. More
sex
merely
acts
that
boys
ences
experi-
man
other
in
know
followingsections
between
to
petting.
Standard?
Dad, you
talks with
for
men.
your
should
He
understand
to
should
is difficult to
the
subjectin
should
He
other parts of her
and
which
reaction
and
women
of affection. He
breasts
girl's
a
common
girlreacts
a
to
with
your
and
boys
much
emphasize too
not
can
that
son,
no
are
have
double
the
heart-to-heart
standards
in
sex
in
responsibility
have girls
in
as
saving themselves for the marriage relationship
without considering
the moral
Even
their virginity.
safeguarding
possible
preparation
aspect of it,sexual promiscuity is the worst
for marriage.There is always the danger of disease. As great, or
factory
to find satiseven
greater,is the hazard of losingthe ability
marital adjustmentin a wife after "playingthe field"
with
the
Your
girls.
there
in your
varied and
girlto
these
Care
You
the
standards, but boys must
will also want
to
cleanse
and
to
necessary
feminine
is
your
be
we
look toward
taughtto respect
his
take
son
to
daintiness
as
of
the
"
certain
the
for
manner
perspirationodors
and
arms
as
then
point out
to
have
thingsto
of the
your
to
care
feet.
by
son
also be
careful
and
Showering daily
talk about
that male
perfectopportunity to
with
look for in the girls
a
ness
cleanli-
he should
should
daughter.We
your
and
in which
example. He
boy
important.You
about
him
penis
care
a
Juniorthe
discuss with
body.Explainto
dailywashing under
as
is true
of the Body
encouraged
is
experiences.It
numerous
same
standards.
of his
wash
set
sons
liness
clean-
talk
whom
to
Let's Be
he
be
can
standards.
Your
expect the
FOR
certain
are
AND
points
has
in
both
have
and
attitudes
girlhas
a
the
"daintiness" from
both
same
right
him.
in
given them
of
sex
familygroup
a
there
girls,
teen-age boys and
this discussion
discussed
helpfully
most
that
other
in
BOY:
THE
familywho
the
know
physicalbeing.He
this role of daintiness
neglectof
masculine
same
137
of her
care
indifference
should
guy
GIRL
THE
For
indicate
to
seem
is
that
reasonablysure
would
to
of these
One
associates.
Frank
could
which
session.
By
be
the time
the information
they must have, you
some
can
phases with
promote healthyattitudes by discussing
them. Stop laughing!Of course
they will do some
you know
Why not do it in the familygroup
note-comparingon their own.
process?
you
and
Necking
have
You
children
Petting
both
necking and
discussed
of yours,
but
have
you
used
petting with
different
these
I
terminology.
make
between
the
they actually
the question.
I have had numerous
to ask girls
occasions
two.
know
a difference even
thoughtheycannot always
They certainly
often
wonder
difference
what
express it. I have
been
with these teeners
quiteamused
and
I have
than
more
asked:
"What
once
when
ing
talk-
happened while
ridingaround with this boy? Did you pet?"My response has
The
been an indignant
"No!" "Well, then what about necking?"
is usually,
to this one
answer
"Sure, why not?" Well, I would
whom
know
think perhaps basically
of the girls
I meet
many
about sex, but I so often have the feeling
that their knowledge
has come
from cold, hard experiencewhere
they had to figure
their own.
of the answers
out
on
a
goodly number
and ask them
few
a
Why not sit down with your teeners
It should be interesting
to learn justwhat
they have
questions?
been
able
The
material
with your
to
decide
which
on
their
is to
children if you
own
follow
do
not
from
can
what
be
happen
you
have
discussed
to have
more
told them.
individually
than
one
138
Your
make
to
a
youngsters consider
you
might start with, "What do
difference between
necking and
of it. You
session
group
Teen-Agers
the
petting?"
I think
this.
Now
kiss
the well-informed
will express
ones
it somewhat
like
Necking is a kiss or two, a coupleof hugs,and that is it.
the point of difference between
the
you might continue
as
a
simplebit of necking and the kiss which reaches the
pettingstage.It
how
surprising
is
danger signalsand petting.The
simplestdistinction in the two is the "peck"and "the too long."
"I like you,
that bespeaks,
The peck is that simplelittlesmack
those breathare
you'rea swell person."The "too long" ones
takinglyintense ones which go beyond the I-like-you
stage into
for the boy.But, after
particularly
stimulating,
becoming sexually
not
all,our girls
are
always icicles either.
Your
as
parents, in chairingfamily
primary responsibility
meetings on this phase of sex instruction,is to lead the discussion
the so-called neckingand petdifference between
into the vast
ting.
Help yours see that the line to petting is the dangersignal
the gift
for that treasured gift virginity;
theyare keepingsafely
guarded for the mate of their choice in a good,mature marriage.
not
associate
certain
kisses
of these youngsters do
some
as
"
Concluding It
first telling,
pleasedo
think
your
hear
the
plete.
job is comshould
You
a
good motherhope that by establishing
they will keep you posted
daughterand father-son relationship,
on
happeningsin the area of sex. If perchancethey do not come
take the lead yourhome
with periodic
questionsor comments,
self
of us do, in professional
with some
queries.To sit,as some
illegitimately
positionswhere we interview teen-age girls
nant
preg-
After
the
three
for
fathers say, "We
four
or
experience.Be
postedon
on
you
babies
what
and
born
your
Mother
out
and
months,
justfound
it
you
children
are
when
son
of wedlock.
to
out," is
"nosey"if
a
not
an
amazing and
must,
but
doing.Dad,
is the
mothers
an
and
ing
alarm-
keep yourselves
it is
father
of
justas rough
one
of these
CHAPTER
"WHAT
the
family
around
in
calm
of
a
to
seems
I
The
on.
know
dinner;
he
date,
so
because
this
on
Dating today
If you
It
have
to
not
my
to
do
be
about
campaign
The
nice
you
with
little
will
a
try
your
and,
know
what
they
you
continue
them
when
Let's
consider
applicable to
some
both
to
a
Sue
the
have
family
Since
get
one
matter
first
her
on
hamburger,
a
until
no
remember?
going
and
long
the
Dad,
me,
is
out
problem
what
to
or
Sue
is
of the
boys
so
may
what
"
have
not,
that
not
between
waver
major aspects
and
and
safely
girls.
140
and
what
long since planned
to
there
are
need
It is
stand
one
"
of
many
children
expect.
it.
pursue
you
these
now
are
careless.
are
do
I intend
that
teeners.
bad, you
to
dating. What
standards
to
parents of
parents, you
thing is
about
and
good
dating.I
whole
may
you
is
modern
be
"meanie"
the
"get-together"on
tearing
was
again, "What's
this is
go
about
ideas
same
is
family hound,
door.
get settled
not
youngsters
old
the
next
ending problem
never
feelingabout
the
"
the
sewing
occasion.
ideas
If you
Sue
of
tries
well
quite
poses
creation.
upon
precaution against being
a
family
look
a
will
is
Ricks, the
as
Dad
momentous
certain
fashioned.
seems
the
as
Mother
disturbing what
but
everything,Dad!
family
your
launched
old
with
might just
you
chair
around,
is
new
junior males
greeting,take
no
a
household.
a
two
here.** Hold
live
of
behind
sought normalcy
since
no
hem
descends
he
as
confusion.
doing nothing
shelter
Pop
roars
utter
peaceful
once
sought
trampled
the
in
daze
a
of
state
a
inches
two
has
in
here?"
around
on
goes
last
that
is
or
is
a
of yours
rough
on
another.
aspects equally
That
Big
141
Moment
OLD?
How
"I don't
other
can.
girls
Over
and
a
that have
good
other
many
are
have
point where
good
is not
I
a
with
confronted
are
you
oddly,it is what
Though there
datingis proper,
reached
"The
teen-age offspring,
your
I'm fourteen." Doesn't
over
do it."That
wails
why not,"
see
various
which
viewpoints
going
am
do it goes unnoticed;
cant
girls
for them
to
take
the
on
enticing.
is most
stand
a
ring?
girlscan
other
"The
"
familiar
a
at
age
on
which
idea. You
my
"maybe's"are impractical.
and daughtersto have
a
mere
sons
our
Certainlyyou and I want
wonderful
youth a youth filled with fun and gaiety but let's
I saw
at an
not rush it. Recently
a group
eighth-grade
graduation
of the most
attractive
peopleyou could imagine and yet
young
to me
the sightwas
quite shocking,for those "young things"
had the sophistication
for which
most
girlsof my generation
still searching
in freshman
were
Perhaps I am
year of college.
"
"
justslow, but
thirteen and
I cannot
to
seem
fourteen
accept formals
olds. Youth
year
passes
and
corsages
for
quicklyenough;
why hurry it along?
If you
to
are
important
decide
on
understand
to
specific
ages
dating,by which I
some
for
dating,it
mean
is
company-
keepingin single
pairs.For fourteen and fifteen year olds,mixed
should
in place;
but these social gatherings
partiesare certainly
be
chaperonedand plannedfor
home
and
"
how
our
affair. I stillbreeze
As
mine.
a
matter
children hate this
in
up
the
of fact,I
hours. And
reasonable
old
pickup
"
should
not
familybuggy
a good number
the
be
going
couple
pick up
a
and
of
extras.
I
through my son's,"Oh gee, Mom, the other guys'folks
don't go calling
for them." It is hard on teen-age boys,particularly,
mothers and dads have
because some
to be thought"sissy"
You
will hang on.
certain
ideas, but I for one
are
probably
"She hasn't said how
long these partiesshould
askingyourself,
went
last?" I
am
7:30
10:30
to
give a
coming
p.m.
to
that.
This
littleleeway,no
My
suggestionto
gives time
later than
for
some
11 p.m.
You
this
question is:
real fun. But
have,
no
to
doubt,
142
Your
gatheredby
teeners
"Sweet
and
day
that I do
now
date
to
and
sixteen
a
been
half
jolly
allow your
kissed" is old fashioned
"goingsteady"at
are
many
should
fifteen.
and
never
so
think that you
not
fourteen
at
age, when
give you
Teen-Agers
hour's fun sometime
in this
It will
sixteen.
out how
try to figure
to
thingsgot so far ahead of you. At sixteen, some
group datingis
in order; such
three or four couples going to a
as
definitely
I would
specific
party or chaperonedsocial event. Certainly
put
"thumbs
down"
beach parties,and the like.
on
picnics,twilight
I
hear
can
knit?" I
mine
always have
forgetthat
home
we
other
have
you
seventeen,
should
a
expect
to
us
bit, because
I had
recreational
do. Sit and
they
sometimes
fun
my
in
sports,
pursuitswhich
were
dull.
anythingbut
now
you
always adults.
not
in
do
chuckle
to
were
parties,and
Well,
"What
now:
with
reached
stillsome
the
singledatingstage. I
controls. Heaven
select their partners for them, but
gest
sug-
forbid that you
had
you
better know
something about their choices. By this age, you should have
given them enough so that you may begin to relyon their good
pendence
indeof fact, you must
judgment.As a matter
give them some
dence,
by this age. And, above all,if you have their confithere will be little for you to worry
about. They will
to
come
Please
you
do
not
barginginto
around
questionswhen and if necessary.
take these suggestions
iron-fast rules
as
with
your
familywith
here. Mrs.
they are followed.
might plan thingsat
you
hazards
as
thinkingon
of
you
the
.
.
For
your
well know.
subjectand
presentingtheir
"
." These
B. says
house
"There'll be
Get
are
you they
house. Too
your
then
ideas, and
a
base
strict
have
at
from
parents
teen-agers to share
they will
go
changesmade
some
my
are
and
our
which
run
into
in your
the satisfaction
views.
CHOICES
"Why don't you take Frances Lee to the Prom?"
friend. This
Lee being the daughterof your lifelong
way
of
having Buster
take
someone
else. I suppose
"
is
we
Frances
one
sure
parents
That
make
than
"nosey"suggestions
more
of those
one
I know
Moment
Big
parentalmaladies
do
from
143
to. It seems
mean
we
which
to
be
all suffer. Although
we
matchmaking for mine, I stillgive out
with unwanted
suggestionsoccasionally.
Where
do your teeners
usuallychoose their first companions
of the opposite sex? Generallythey start at school. You
know
the stages the cute
girlin the third seat in the first row, or
that handsome
class who
in math
is hard
piece of masculinity
I cannot
any
"
reach.
to
better
Well,
the
watched
you
just to make
with
start
some
their efforts
in
remember
someone
of the
some
"sorta" liked
you
become
to
silly
things
notice
you?
the school, others look for their choices in
neighborhoodwhere
in the process
them
do you
or
acquainted;
did
you
Have
they have
played and
of
growing up. These
companionshipof the oppositesex.
cried
the safe
are
Here
together
placesto find
youngsters
your
are
choosinggirlsand boys about whom
they know
something.
When
theybeginwanderingaround from placeto placepicking
companions
up
do
You
ones,
of unknown
have
not
but
to
know
ancestry,then
the full
should
certainly
you
is the time
to
worry.
of
these
new-found
pedigree
to
want
know
who
and
what
they are.
of the best
Some
for your
sex
or
teeners
would
be theirs,not
eventually
"How
break
A
BE
TO
and
out?"
you
start
close kin to this
to go
remember
opposite
neighborhood,
that the choices
must
yours for them.
allow
them
them
letting
when
and
remain
to
date?"
questionis, "When
Startingwith
usuallythere
of the
IN
late should
down
findingfriends
be the school, church,
circle of friends. But
your
TIME
for
resources
when
is the constant
should
then
out
how
they be
you
query.
allowed
late,I think that
fairly
generalagreement.
Your
youngsters are stillgrowing,so they need their rest. On
school nightsthey have certain study chores to perform.Then
they need adequate rest, so that they may attack the next
day'sschoolwork with zest and vigor.What is rougheron the
is
Your
144
teacher
than
desk
overcome
so
school is concerned.
should
midweek
seventeen
at
periodis
vacation
be
lost
a
far
so
ing
socializyear, week-end
happens,the school plans
it is up
be
day
is like
school
sometimes
cannot
you
a
his
at
to
you
ask, "How
to
willingto
restrictive,but from
so
concede
thirteen
yes.
"
Summer
switched
different. Then
of the week.
the middle
to
week-end
partying
Still,there
is the
of your youngsters. If
employment for some
this questionof "when"
a job,they need
rest, so
suit the situation."
those "let the privilege
"I have
home
to be
time
is it?" asks a teener.
by
question of time to be in applieswhether
your
of vacation
matter
theyhave
is
enough.If,as
is
I am
thoughtyou disapproved."
We
to sixteen
can
During the
class recitation
That
slumber.
into
social functions, then
come?
that
be
that
weariness
lulls him
slouched
lumberingteener
some
with
lullabywhich
as
watch
to
Teen-Agers
of
one
"What
ten." The
...
youngsters
mixed
are
going
out
own
sex
or
in
I would
girls,
fifteen-year-old
fourteen-and
groups. For
of their
members
with
Specialoccasions could stretch the time
Our boys,I think,might
later than midnight.
to eleven but never
safelystay out until eleven, but justbecause they are boys you
freedom
should not feel that they can
be allowed so much
more
than girls.
girlsshould be allowed somewhat
Sixteen-year-old
later privileges.
While on the subjectof time, there is one
lem
probIt is the problem of food
that will always complicate
things.
to
that snack after the school hop! These
youngsters want
round
off their evening with a little nourishment.
Why? It'sfun.
and I like to do it too
You
ing
providedour ulcers or our expandin this addition to
waistline permits. But the complication
the evening's
fun is that it delaysthingsto such a point that
suggest
ten
o'clock.
"
"
it is
early morning before they arrive
of
One
these
on
to
of
New
my
a
teen-age group
Year's
mind
occasions
Year's Eve.
is New
hear
late-hour
morn.
their
I
am
home.
which
me
siderably
con-
when
flabbergasted
utterly
traipsinghome
It is done!
bothers
at
five and
six o'clock
Sure, they like to celebrate! But
should
celebrating
be
plannedin
I
some
home,
That
and
to their
homes
own
might settle
Eve
or
allow
brigadeshould
automobile
an
on
OFTEN
this
decent
hour.
occasion
one
New
But
have
You
no
long portion of
fashioned";it is justplaincommon
sense.
a
all
you
Year's
rightto
the night.
Go
TO
the
over
out
them
providedto get
the time.
night,watch
"Going again,don't
peers
be
hour. For
a
as
youngsters to stay
your
This is not "old
he
decent
a
o'clock
one
other
any
How
at
145
Moment
Big
ever
you
evening
stay home?"
paper.
Put
Dad
comments
that
down
paper
as
Pop
why they go out all the time. We have alreadyagreed
that home
ought to be a placeto enjoy,not justa placeto park.
should
be allowed
to
Teeners
not
night after night.
go out
"But Mrs. B., they don't
and again mothers
Time
say to me,
to that is simple.
want
Well, the answer
to stay home."
Keep
and
see
for
interesting
the home
fourteen
At
and
boys
and
with
suggest mixed
there
groups
should
and
added
are
be
fifteen,two
boys
periodsof the year
be holidayseasons
them.
should
more
when
and
be
than
more
certain
once
a
should
added
times
girlswith girls
would
not
certainly
week.
periodsof
in
There
be allowed.
social functions. Sixteen
allowed
for
nightsout
enough. I
are
certain
would
These
the school year when
and
seventeen
accordance
with
year olds
their age
activities.
PLACE
TO
Without
small
Go
dates: the
most
common
choice
for
a
placeto
go
in
to be one
largegroups is the movies. Though it seems
of the most
theaters are having a great
some
acceptable
places,
of difficulty
with teen-age boys (and older men,
well )
amount
as
gettingsmart with girlsin the darkened theater. There should
be a careful choice of the theater to avoid such unpleasant
or
experiences.
School
and
home
functions, social center, club activities,sports events,
partiesare
their choices
run
the best
choices
for your
youngsters. If
them:
alongthe following,
discourage
strolling
146
Jour
Teen-Agers
throughparks at night,walks which lead to nowhere or to the
unknown
quented
homes, or any hangout frebusy downtown
areas,
also by unquestionable
characters.
With dates: for group dating,
the best choices are supervised
parties,schools, homes, church or social centers. For single
dating,there are movies, dinner, visits to homes of friends,
other cultural as well as
parties,concerts, plays,and numerous
recreational activities. Night clubbingand cocktail loungesfor
Week-end
partiesat
teen-age datingshould not be permitted.
fore
besummer
cottages should be considered long and seriously
permissionis given.If
friend
and
you
know
the party is
house
the cottage of
a
close
well-managed,good; but
partyingis dangerous.
thingswill
indiscriminate
certainly
at
be
PICKUPS
Perhapsthe simplest
approachto
cite
a
case
in which
the hazards
four very nice girls
from
very bad luck.
of
pickupsis to
good homes barely
escapedhaving some
It was
earlyevening and all four of these girlshad been
They
given permission by parents to attend an earlymovie.
ranged in age from thirteen to sixteen. Not one of them was
permittedto date. They started out as planned,but as they
lured inside by the sightof
passed a sweet shop they were
flocks of teeners
sittingaround. They expectedto get a coke and
then proceed on their merry way. As they sat amid the various
boys eighteenand
patrons) four boys dropped by for a chat
nineteen
years of age. Soon theysuggesteda littleride and one
girlafter another weakened, and so the lark began.
They were
arrangedin two
enjoying their ride which was
cars.
Suddenly appeared a bottle of liquorand drinkingby the
were
boys followed. By then the girls
gettinga littlefrightened.
Undoubtedly by prearrangement the drivers of the two cars
approached a small, secluded park and there they stopped.
four girls
what the policetermed
when
There followed
a fight,
of the
One
did a little slappingand fighting
in self-protection.
"
more
inebriated
lads
became
quite angry
and
made
such
a
148
Jour
the
situation
It
Steady datingfor
keep
have
an
these
As
you
enough
to
begin making permanent
career
a
"
and
which
career
tolerance
than
experienceshave
should
You
then
be
can
been
another.
given by
your
over
not
of
mature
is
Marriage
a
insight,
understanding,
only
youngster whose
and
boys
the land.
By doing this
a
our
shelter of home.
the comfortable
look
to
choices.
more
at
number
a
people are
young
requiresfar
encourage
earlydatingage
and
seen,
for
is unwise
reasons.
happen
the situation.
on
eye
teeners
young
couldn't
or
do
Nevertheless, you
state.
wouldn't
unless you
can
to
state
think, "That
sometimes
house/'
from
varies
Teen-Agers
girlswho
They should
there is
an
in
are
go with
opportunityto
the
one
pare
com-
attributes,and what not, which go into
quirks,
the social relationship
of two
of the opposite sex.
Practically
speaking,I suppose you might say it is far better for your
first datingthan to get all tied
youngsters to be fickle when
going to go through that dreamy eyed
up in knots. They are
puppy-lovebusiness anyway, so rejoicethat they are not too
serious about the whole
thing.
In the meantime
your job is to see that they do not date too
early,that they keep reasonable hours, that they get their
and that they
in suitable settings,
in mixed
socializing
groups
and only before they are
do not get ideas of pickingthe one
ready to make the choice.
some
of the
HAZARDS:
Tlie Automobile
great many
family car
many
unfortunate
be
a
car
source
hairs
gray
of the
The
the
I have
"Pop, can
as
a
or
car
to
That questioncan
cause
tonight?"
spreadthroughPop'sdark mane.
teen-age
incidents
ownership
car
which
have
settingfor necking and
of real
concern
to
which
in
has
led
to
this extensive
the
and
Use
for
causes
lastingconsequences.
petting parties should
you. Sure, they start to
the temptation for a few
somebody's car, but
moonlight spot
parked in a romantic
dance
are
a
a
school
minutes
It is the
then
...
car
neckingand petting nowadays.
That
When
Grandma
and
was
and
convenient
littlemore
a
leads
This
familycar.
Grandpa
149
Moment
Big
fortable
up, this very comexist. A stolen kiss
growing
were
did
conveyance
not
complicated.
to
Most
concerning teeners'
attitude
your
allow
states
sixteen
a
of the
use
year old to hold a driver's
do you think about taking
despitethe license,what
day
of a boy approachinghis sixteenth birththe car? A mother
told me
of an idea they were
testingout. For a year, they
and
I'm sixteen
take the
been barraged with "When
can
license. But
out
had
." The
car
.
parents
.
into
went
a
huddle
and
decided
to
propose
plan which he could either take or leave. Insurance coverage
driven
increases
when
for the familyconveyance
considerably
sixteen
by a minor. This young lad was told that when he was
a
he
would
have
difference
in
have
to
the
in
sufficient money
to
pay the
also to pay for his driver's
cash
and
insurance
story thus far is: Junior has bade
license. The
farewell
to
his
drivingthe car.
mobile,
I am
not
learninghow to handle an autoopposing teeners
but my concern
is what they do with it when
they have
permission to use it. Equallyserious is teen-age ownershipof a
of such ancient vintagethat when
chariot or one
stripped-down
in its
red signalto all cars
driven over
a
thirtyit becomes
sixteenth
but
birthday,
Some
vicinity.
when
time.
The
leads
to
the
is not
strange power
on
the wheel
of
a
car
this complicated
bit
controlling
and
experimentation,
those of you
who
then
drive
"
to
a
how
when
take
it's over
several looks
end
and
Mrs.
companions
Hospital."
are
John Doe, Sr.,was
in
a
machinery
speed and
have
times
many
encounter
killed
critical condition
stillhave
see
how
funny but
unfunny it is
"John Doe, 16,
and
instantly
at
you
the
the emergency
if you
This might sound
to
"
of Mr.
of
with
race
of your car with you?
tells you
it is not. A look at every newspaper
"Teen-Age Driver Loses Control of Car";
rear
upon them
for the first
descend
when
suddenlyyou
drivingalongpeacefully
Do
speedster?
you, as I, all but grab for
young
and
a
their hands
thrillof
death. For
been
find
teeners
they get
yet he
as
the
son
his four
Emergency
150
Your
the youngsters who
For
concerned.
not
Teen-Agers
As
handle
car
and well, I
carefully
of fact,I have
matter
a
a
teeners
seen
who
am
do
job of drivingthan their parents. Driving a car in the
and how
it is
the problem; the problem is when
is not
teens
the
used. If you feel reasonablysure
your youngster will use
have the responsiwell and good,but you certainly
car
bility
carefully,
rules: (1) the car is never
to be
for layingdown
certain
used without permission.(2) The first speedingticket or traffic
violation
no
more
drivingfor a period.(3) The car may not
and
be used for singledating.(4) A full accounting of where
of the car for
how
long to be used. When
you discuss the use
dating,there should be a frank discussion of what you expect in
with special
the way of car decorum
emphasison parkingwith
of neckingand petting.If you feel sure
for the purpose
a date
they respect your rules for using the car, then and then only I
feel sure
would
they can be trusted to pilotthe familybuggy.
a
better
"
Money
they stillon
encouraged to
Are
be
you, Dad, should
these lads of yours
cabbage,mazuma,
bills,they will
be
they should
their own
earn
spending money. Certainly
have to finance dates in your family.If
not
for finding
the lettuce,
have to be responsible
whatever
or
they call it, to foot the dating
an
allowance?
By
content
to
more
the teen
attend
years,
school
parties and
less. The same
considerably
money
rule should hold for their recreation with "the guys."
in
to feel their responsibility
Your
also,should be made
girls,
If a group of your daughterswant
their recreation.
to
financing
them
to pool their
party, encourage
sponsor a teen-age home
to finance the cokes and hot dogs.Certainly
resources
you should
but this is the time for them to
entertain for them
occasionally,
it relates to partying and dating.
realize the value of money
as
activities which
group
This is
You
trainingprocess which
will observe
money,
Don't
a
cost
learn to
shell
out
teeners
who
is
have
important for the later years.
to
consider
their hard-earned
noncostlyrecreational pursuits.
appreciatesimple,
too
easily!For
a
specialprom
or
extra-special
That
social event,
is not
good! but
151
Moment
Big
finance their group
to
and
singledating
to them.
constructive
Drinking
"Mrs.
B., they don't drink,these children of ours!" Perhaps a
goodly number
for "beer
of then
busts" in
been
not
unusual
too
completelyinebriated after
questionof drinkingis a serious one
The
it served
about
at
home?
You
There
drinking.
know
the pace
set
is
about
mind,
my
imbibingas
attitude that
going to
out
go
from
look
to
sneak
a
lenient
too
at
too
many
of this
some
us
sips.
age. How
any
viewpoint.If
a
short beer is
a
at
some
is
thinking
reason
much
as
in
few
a
of
for
why your teeners should not
ing.
social drinking
and excessive drinkattitudes
harm
of too stuffy
comes
no
the difference between
To
are
It has
teeners
see
who
a
them.
bootleggedto
to
those
are
big way. Though there are laws to prevent
it is
purchasingalcoholic beverages,somehow
from
teeners
don't, but there
snifter to
"dreadful,"they
positively
what
see
take the
you
is
dreadful
so
about
it.
Certainlyin most homes today these children have grown up
It is
observingcocktail partiesand evenings of social drinking.
unheard
not
small
of to allow
glassof
to
I
wine.
pint and
overdo
Have
you heard
of mixed
where
parties
teen
allowed
Such
down
is certainly
laxity
letting
It
might not
consider
When
your
you
so
decide
for you
to
to
be served?
than
to
tainly
cer-
sneak
a
of
is unfortunate.
That
forced
form
a
parental
responsibility.
to boycottsuch
parties.
of
a committee
indignant
set
this
of these
careless
ones
question of drinkingwith
go into the ramifications,
You
drinking.
effect of alcohol
ofttimes
unthinking
parents
role.
discuss
whatnot
the
routine, but
a
the bars of
suggest that you
explain the
simpleexample
be
their
lightly
daters, I would
and
to
littletalk with
a
and
complications,
basic
should
be amiss
have
parents and
who
alcoholic drinks
children
a
or
the gang.
it with
have
Your
as
littlebeer
a
is far better
noses
your
have
to
advisingit
not
am
it under
taste
at home
teener
a
on
might become
an
illustrated drunk
very
individual.
who
is
By
draped
152
Your
around
does
the
lamppostsinging,"Show me
certainly
appears to know
it. He
You
Teen-Agers
might point
how
out
has lost all controls. The
can
lead
to
slipwhich
one
the faculties been
This
would
simplyfrown
they want
to
their very
give them
conclude
that
so
happened had
set
let your
evaluate
they may
standards.
as
sane
approach to
an
opportunity
that
dating
all
for discussion
must
a
it; discuss it, and
upon
discussion
controls while
when
today.The
Don't
socially
accepted socializing.
part of
is
party
.
is home.
way
the behavior
have
never
.
alert.
questionof drinkingis
cocktail
the
loss of such
."
go home
to
which
not
becomes
serious
one
the way
of these
some
to
spikedpunch for
for themselves
will be
You
share
teeners
in
what
at
quite surprised
problemsif
express
their views.
teener's
partiesis not
you
but
might
permissible.
You
Smoking
such a shock to Grandma!
days of smoking corn silk were
Sneakingthat firstsmoke (and getting green in doing it) is an
age-oldpractice.Today you are just faced with a little more
of this
blatant example of it. It is a real problem to control some
smoking with teeners. Though the purchase of cigarettesis
somehow.
for minors, they get them
There
are
illegal
parents
who go grousing around
about their teeners
smoking,and when
how
them
I have
asked
they get their "smokes," this is the
"We
answer,
buy them to keep peace/'Well, figurethat out
The
if you
can!
I have
with
the
that
feeling
do it in my
the fact that with
My
first
unhealthful
with
test
out
this
all of this
sit down
discuss it. I have
great need
assured
laundrychute, go
drugstoreto
tried while
I have
should
drinking,
you
and
felt the
mine
presence.
hide in the
corner
with
these youngsters of yours
attitude that when
to
as
them
behind
that
smoke
one
have
or
the
they could
they will
the garage,
smoking.I
assurance
to
taken
or
not
have
sit at the
alreadyfaced
two
have
been
the gang.
approach to
habit. For
the
subjectis that it is reallya very
boy who is enthusiastic about athletics,
the
That
I would
lot
point
by smoking.Of
"If you
and
don't
a
153
Moment
is shortened
his wind
course
a
does
littlechallenge
far you
how
care
smoke/'
that
out
Big
of
whale
a
go amiss
carry that football,go ahead
can
not
"
might not be able to use quite the same
but the same
holds true
for them
arguments with your girls,
from the standpoint
of health.
dividual
You
smoking with them inmight hope that by discussing
they will have decided what stand they wish to take
while in mixed
one
lights
groups. It is a temptation,when
up,
You
for the others
not
to
follow
suit.
Again
unpleasantrealization that you cannot
they go. What you can hope for is
make
to
suggest
their
faced
hold their hands
that
decision
own
are
you
they will use
when
they meet
with
the
wherever
what
you
the test.
Dancing
"What
strange thingto call dancing a hazard
a
this comment.
hear
almost
can
littleshort of hazardous.
today is
to
of the
But
some
This
dr apelike
arrangement of
cheek-to-cheek
walking around to swooning music
sensible souls started
dancing? Fortunatelysome
are
dancing fad, and we
slowly coming back to
dancingthat are sociable and graceful.
It
Summing
I
dating/*
dancing of
is called
folk-
the
forms
of
Up
has arrived
the firsthonest-to-goodness
bigmoment
date. I hope that it is at seventeen
thirteen. Mixed
not
groups
in group
dating is wholesome, but singlingoff in pairs too
earlyis not good. You should sit down and set up your own
curfew
they begin going out at nights.
system for yours when
Let them
start
out
slowly one nighta week. The excitement
Well
that
"
"
wears
off, if the doses
young!You
comes
sophistication
Why
not
let the
discussion in which
enough
often.
Keep
pushingthem
soon
enough.
question of datingbecome
far too
have
too
not
are
the
much
of
teeners
their ideas
your teeners
into adult roles
express
will
some
coincide
"
a
matter
of
family
quently
of their ideas. Fre-
with
your
own.
You
154
just
you
forget
direct
batch
of
their
husbands
they
and
heave
and
role
Your
are
is
that
know
understanding,
can
It
a
wives
sigh
of
your
to
what
of
today."
look
heads
their
use
feeling
furnish
the
time
know
to
their
are
what
with,
contentment
tomorrow
of
sets
they
are
sit
to
in
with
they
ground
back-
the
of
some
tolerance,
doing,
are
standards.
"Those
preparing
a
than
more
molded
influence
and
forward
for
to
have
influences
them
support
you
when
edgewise
in
can
you
"
role
If
wonderful
a
word
a
settled.
who
is
get
believe
I
sufficient
going,
to
things
get
youngsters
thinking.
where
chance
a
thinking,
good
and
you
to
adornment.
an
their
them
give
to
wanting
start
help
just
Teen-Agers
Jour
Then
are
for
our
that
156
this country
of
army
and
Teen-Agers
Your
could
parents.Become
with
pitchin
endeavors
Your
help to
an
investment
peoplewith
the
of your
some
are
for support could
aware
into adulthood.
they grow
for good are
as
have
toward
look
vast
a
community'sproblems
the
correct
be
of the trouble.
roots
for your families
good living
peopleyou help or influence
in
The
whom
and
you
children
your
will
live.
to
PERPLEXED?
STILL
Well,
resolved
of parenthood
any of the perplexities
now?
If they have, you are trulyout
the test! Have
to
thin air
into
of this world.
The
by
unexpectedwill always be
part of the
a
and yours should
job of familyrearing.My consolation comes,
band wagon.
all on the same
are
too, from the knowing that we
I have the feeling
Without
claimingthe power of clairvoyance,
that you
familiar
found
spots in these pages
numerous
that
touched
on
all have
we
ground.Whether we like it or not, basically
of degree
touch of the same
a
problems.It is just a matter
from one
in their variance
familyto the other. It is this similarity
of parental
problemswhich makes the job a creative one. From
a
basic
few
unusual
tips,you
should
be
able
solutions. Fun, isn't it,to find
I like to
look
at
the
devise
to
a
twist?
new
familysituation
as
rather
some
a
wheel.
It is not
a
glamorouspicture,but, in my simple mind, it is somethingeasy
to picture.Try drawing it
you, the family,are the hub. The
outer
rim, which holds spokesand the entire structure
together,
influence. The spokesare joinedfrom
and spiritual
is the moral
"
the rim
to
you
in
the middle.
They
provide good,healthy,
happy living
"
health, emotional
security,
the material
You
I
you
AND
hope
will
to
name
I
see
used
resources
a
few:
security,recreation, and
given the pictureas
that I have
the
are
so
to
financial
on.
Now
it,I will try to summarize
that goes into the wheel.
GOD
that you
not
be
and
able
God
to
see
are
how
close friends. If you
the
wheel
is held
are
not,
together.
the
Over
157
Hump
Religiontoday is an even greater need than in Grandma's time.
need
The
influences which
exist in everydayliving
nonspiritual
counterbalance.
We
some
providethat balance! If our teeners
cannot
from
expect wonders
cannot
we
the reflection of real moral
see
values
in
our
lives,then
them.
loftyand unattainable. Simplifythe
God!
We
can
help these youngsters of ours
that their attitude toward
see
people and thingsand acts must
God
thinks and wishes. Make
in the lightof what
be formed
a
familyaffair go to church together,
religion
pray together.
will providethe solidarity
of wholesome
This unity in religion
and will extend into all other relationships.
familyliving
Religionneed
with
relationship
be
not
"
GOOD
HEALTH
With
and
attitudes,we
make
up
look
can
at
those
other
family unit.
strong, active
a
their
togetherby
bound
the members
We
beliefs
religious
factors which
need
to
go
to
consider
of ours
These teeners
are
facinga difficult
physicalwell-being.
period.They are no longerthe cute littletykesthey were, nor
portant
adults. They are inbetwixers. It is very imare
theyfull-grown
this periodwith good physical
to safeguard
care.
Growing children need good food. Indeed the quantityand
overpowering,but
qualityof their dietaryneeds are sometimes
food in
find many
suggestionsfor good wholesome
you can
the less expensive varieties. They will eat you out of house and
home, but bear up, we all want
strong healthychildren.
Along with adequate dietaiy needs during the adolescent
of yours need
plenty of
offspring
period,these fast-growing
Yours
their own.
fresh air theymanage
rest and fresh air. The
on
the complicathat they get the rest. I know
is the chore to see
tions
"tryto get 'em to bed and try to get 'em up." Well, I
"
have
decided
devices." It
or
to
that
can
not, you must
twelve hours
Then,
there
be
this is
most
a
be
firm
a
matter
of "to each
family its
own
task,I know, but difficult
exasperating
that they have
from ten
in insisting
sleepeach night.
are
the
additional
problems of insisting
upon
158
Teen-Agers
Your
body cleanliness,proper care of hair and nails,regulardental
habits,and good toilet routines. Yes indeed, all these responsibilities
left over
time
do seem
to providea full-time job with
no
said that parenthoodwas
for the rest of the task. But who
ever
of fitting
the responsibilitie
of a job?It is a matter
not
a whale
into
set of grooves
a
Last, but
for
is
idea
smart
there
knows
medical
afford
cannot
to
Gramp
privatemedical
give both
the
to
care,
ups
check-
routine
needed.
when
care
arises.
from
everyone
excellent clinics established
are
and
THE
who
for families who
baby. But
need
as
A good familyphysician
checkups.
and dental
one
"
reused
and
importance (for all of us), is the need
of small
not
medical
regular
a
be used
to
EMOTIONS
That
part of
known
us
is rather hard
emotions
as
Giving good physicalcare
to
your
compared
is easy
teeners
understand.
to
to
providingfor good emotional development.Before going into
must
this puzzlingjob,we
have to take a look at ourselves. We
inner
know
can
activitybefore we
somethingabout our own
understand
We
who
into this
wonders
world-shaking
go blithely
but a part
We
are
parenthoodwith magic potentials.
not
are
role of
of that
youngsters.
our
substance
same
suffer the
from
need
running
and
man
the
made.
are
We
parents
and confusions as
feelings,
bolstering
securitywhich stems
same
of
feelings
love. The
smooth
all
frustrations,mixed
same
children. We
our
which
from
life
wife. Don't
can
love
best
and
be
met
be childish about
securityso
to
necessary
a
of
relationship
marriage.It is a give-andin
your
Give
propositionas you well know by now.
the love, the confidence to feel that
recognition,
take
job of happy parenthood.
what
They
quirks,come
may.
your
mate
inner
peace
the
to
tackle the real rich
There
which
are
make
the
individuals. If
us
they become
too
them
soughtto straighten
Immaturity is a handicap.Grow up! Life
help should
often you
are
be
called upon
to
face up
to
the
are
extreme,
things
however,
out.
is
no
bed
of
roses
and
pretty rough situations.
the
Over
Don't
thingthat
lick the insidious
a
the
about
brood
sit and
159
Hump
rough spots;pickyourself
up
throws
well-ordered
your
and
life into
turmoil.
have
both
You
to
do
a
little leaning.
The
strongestpersons
they don't know where to turn. You too
have somethingpriceless
in your relationship;
appreciateit and
that you
the ability
have
to
don't overlean
it. But
so
use
stand upright.
Watch
for the explosive
quirk.A littlehealthysteam-blowing
and regulartemper outbursts get no one
is good, but constant
Control
and janglednerves.
anythingbut a bad case of jitters
but uncontrollable
the temper. Righteous
is one
thing,
indignation
righteda difficult situation.
anger has never
and
to dominate
If you have the tendencyto want
everything
If you yellyour orders too loudly,
everybody,look into yourself.
the cat, heedingyour noise. Then
you will find no one, including
the debaters who
there are
must
argue at the drop of a pin.
have
Are
Or
when
moments
arguments constructive
your
are
the martyr who
you
justa
or
carries
the burdens
down
Feelingsorry for self is normal
Take these quirksyou
with yourself.
them
over,
universe.
Before
have
are
which
around
in
ratingto
mates?
as
bears
at
role is
our
our
one
one
do
Do
under
up
attitudes
will feel
THEIR
evaluate
can
we
some
we
you
another
of
a
ourselves
as
of the
don't
get bogged
find within
about
entire
them.
you, look
You
are
parents of teeners,
we
How
relationships.
have a smooth-running
we
relationship,
and strains? Or are
stresses
we
yelling
morning, noon, and night?Remember
concerningour
own
youngsters see reflected
for the other,they
love and respectone
If our
pattern-setters.
sincere
securityand happiness.
EMOTIONS
Looking at yourselves
you
when
do
can
but
empty chatter?
doctor.
own
your
what
decide
and
lot of
you
feel this
teeners, too, tick
same
saw
that you
securityin
when
regularly
your
they are
smoothly
Your
relationships.
purr
more
loved, feel security,
Your
160
and
recognizedfor
are
be traced
can
Teen-Agers
to
lack of
a
one
culties
diffi-
of their behavior
their efforts. Most
or
of these factors.
more
They will test you out duringthis periodof development.You
might be momentarily thrown for a loss when you find Buster
boss. Take
it in stride and
hang on. He is
tryingto become
simplytestinghis wings. They all need to be given the opportunity
for decision-making,
but your authority
stillholds. Then
they try a "shocker" in the form of nonacceptablelanguage.
Don't
act
it. There
justcorrect
overcome,
is
then, the
attitude. If that
"you're-old-fashioned"
for it, so
name
know
You
by
that your
now
ent
pres-
youngster's
is your
for it
name
sense."
is "common
You
what!
ever
expect
can
in their search
from
jitters
some
confused
for adulthood.
behavior
If
from
adolescents
your
they try defiance,indifference,
pressures, I-won't-do-it attitudes,or
new
that is all part of the
period.They
need
ness,
aggressive-
help over
your
They must learn the give and take of the world.
act as though they hate a little sister,a big brother,
in your familyis normal. Let them
rivalry
argue. Your
these hurdles.
They
may
etc.; this
role is
and
watch
to
for symptoms
to
beyond your ability
WHERE
WE
of behavior
which
serious
are
handle.
STAND
how
and understanding
Knowing somethingabout yourselves
these teeners
tick,you are ready to put into operationthe skills
of the profession,
or
just plainjob of parenthood.The
career,
rules are simple.
They are:
1. Provide heaps of love. Not gush,but sincere honest-to-goodness
love.
2. Praise
their
don't spend all of
accomplishments;
complainingabout
3. Be
their faults.
patient with
the louder. Remember
4. Become
side and
under
some
use
rebellion,don't try
you
shockproofto
your
of the
time
your
sense
to
see
are
the
the
testingperiod.Look
of humor.
roughermoments.
mature
This
who
yell
can
one.
will
at
help you
the
funny
bear
up
the
Over
5. Let
between
rivalry
If it appears
youngsters
your
intense, don't wait
too
161
Hump
its normal
run
for serious
course.
get
consequences;
expert help immediately.
be
6. Don't
learn
think
to
insulted
for
if
they disagreewith you. They must
themselves.
learn to disagreein
They must
acceptablefashion, however.
Just as
so
constructively,
help your
you must
as
a learning
process.
7. Watch
your
reactions
their
to
adults
teeners
become
a nagger,
hysterics,
be an I-told-you-soer.
methods,
or
their
use
up. Don't
growing
go into
argumentation
use
use
ments
disagreefeel
tyred,
mar-
soapbox oratorical
feet. They must
Help your adolescents to stand on their own
become
independent of you. Untie those apron stringsand let
adults.
them become
mature
emotionally
share in family joys and sorrows.
9. Let
They
your teeners
need not hide
learn that life has its tougherproblems.You
must
from them, for example,the financial status
of the family.
They
8.
learn
must
10. Train
yourselfto
and
your
values
some
home.
at
use
"
in
of humor.
sense
abundance
These
"
are
acceptance,
understanding,
the
greatest aids
to
job as parents.
RELATIONSHIPS
After
humans
you
have
home,
worked
at
helping your
faced
with
teeners
behave
like
their
relationships
well adjustedat
elsewhere.
To
sum
up: if your youngsters are
some
home, they will not have too hard a time making good, wholethat you
the outside. This does not mean
on
relationships
do not have the responsibility
their chosen comfor lookingover
panions.
They are not worldly-wise
enough to see all the dangers
learn the importance of courtesy to adults,
as
yet. They must
if they are
to find
acceptance of others, and honest relationships,
if they
best be strengthened
can
happiness.Their relationships
have
toward
at
then
strong family ties
others.
you
to
are
give them
confidence
and
friendliness
Jour
162
Teen-Agers
RECREATING
whole
family needs
problem is that in
Your
serious
Dad
matter.
her
goes
devices.
way
takes
individual
homes,
many
his
on
the
with
teeners
play
The
most
is all
dividual
in-
an
his
buddies, Mother
are
left
to
their
own
extremelyimportant, but
they can be overdone. More familyplay is needed. It is the fun
had togetheras a family which
providesthat "we" feelingso
important to the buildingof a real home. Try a few of these at
your
These
so
clubs, and
with
for relaxation.
time-out
pursuits are
house:
Family
familyin the
1.
Round
Tables
mutual
Discuss
"
table, allowingall of the members
round
of the
problems
pate
partici-
to
reachingsolutions.
2. Family Fun
Night Set aside one nightor day weekly for
This can
be at the movies,
justthe familyto have fun together.
in
"
at
3.
SpecialOccasions
important
events
fun.
home
picnics,or justin
"
to
anniversaries, and special
birthdays,
for planning
a
family as a source
Use
as
you
celebrations.
extra
4. Vacations
each
5. Home
home
Plan
"
to
go his
Parties
own
Don't
"
for the
vacations
family;don't
entire
courage
en-
way.
lose the
happy
of
art
at
entertaining
for the
familyand all the relatives. Don't let your teeners
lose the familyfeeling
by not seeing aunts, uncles, grandparents
from one
year'send to the other.
6. SpecialHolidays Use
and
holidays such as Christmas
Easter
for the family to be together.
as
very specialoccasions
"
7.
InvitingOthers
constant
home
"
Even
"open house,"
if
you
allow
your
have
to consider
teeners
to
home
your
bring the
gang
for their fun.
This
of
matter
of recreation
is
important. If
we
have
lost the
simplefun, then we cannot
expect our youngsters
off your worries
and
simple recreation exciting.Throw
recreation
with your family.
simple,honest-to-goodness
art
a
to
find
enjoy
164
Your
Since
Teen-Agers
throughwhich
is the medium
conversation
we
make
must
skill is necessary.
relationships,
Watch
slangand swearing!Slang isn't always and necessarily
is the problem.More
bad; its overuse
serious, however, is the
habit of swearing. Many dads indulgethe bad habit around
home
and children pickit up. I don't mean
to infer that mothers
all of
have
our
not
resorted
does
to
few
a
enhance
not
"damns"
and
now
conversation,
so
then either. Swearing
inflict it
why
on
our
teeners?
a part of your
familymusts. Test it
good conversation
Don't take the attitude
out in your familyconversational
periods.
conversational
and well is stuffy.
Good
that to speak correctly
them! If they
be your teeners' greatest asset. Watch
can
ability
slow them down; if they are too slow, speed
speak too rapidly,
Don't let
them
clearly.
express "hemselves
up a bit. Help them
prove
imyour children slipinto careless grammaticalhabits. You can
conversation
by helpingthem.
your own
Make
THE
SCHOOL
Do
know
you
You
AND
teeners' school?
your
If you
do not, you
should.
job and the school's to work togetherfor your children.
If anythingconstructive
with
is to be done, your relationships
the teachers must
be adult and honest. If you disagreewith
to the school and iron it out. Often
over
something,get yourself
the teachers can
help you with problems.Don't be defensive if
they have to tell you Junior is not up to par. Talk it over and,
between
be accomplished.
can
you, much
It is your
the
Know
schools.
Be
concerned
the faculty
choices, and
policies,
justcause,
find reasonable
cause
and
your
The
the curriculum.
administrative
Don't
be
overly
but express
offspring.
home
forgetthat
ones
the
the
yourself
franklywhen you
A good relationship
tween
befor disagreement.
school will work
to the best advantage of
criticalwithout
you
about
most
and
school
your teeners
affected.
are
should
operate
also members.
as
a
After
team.
But
all,they are
don't
the
the
Over
When
it
don't be let-George-doit
parent organizations,
to
comes
165
Hump
Don't be afraid to
parents.Both of you get in there and pitch.
if it is critical. Constructive
criticism
voice
your opinion, even
harmed
never
small
and
which
groups
the school
It is
anything.
the damage. Be
or
anyone
does
work
can
with
the
grousingaround
honest
in
the school
with
you.
SEX
The
the
subjectof
hands
education
sex
of the
schools
belongsin
of anyone
or
your
hands
else. Since
"
in
not
it is your
is the
of acquaintingyourself
with
responsibility
the proper
information
garding
reapproach.To give mere
biological
and attitudes must
is not enough.Feelings
be given
sex
well. To sum
to:
as
up a few simplereminders, remember
1. Straighten
attitudes before discussing
out
own
sex
your
chore, yours
with
teeners.
your
2. Refresh
of the
knowledge
your
terminologyand
correct
functions.
biological
relaxed
3. Be
4. Provide
a
5. Answer
questionswhen
6. Don't
suitable time
flinch
opposed to
yours.
of view
not
7.
do
before
confident
and
and
9. Give
it from
in thought
having to point out the fallacy
how
If you are Catholic,explain
other points
be afraid
year
to
place.
at
coincide
them
discussions.
asked.
with
yours.
Emphasize the importance
8. Don't
your
to
of
sex
in role of
marriage.
be honest.
all the information
enough.Don't postpone
soon
year.
DATING
There
is
You
teeners.
then
made
problem regardingthe
must
decide
carry through with
difficult by other
however;
The
a
your
questionof
use
what
them.
freedom
rules you
Some
want
of your
parents who
judgment.
for
nightprivileges
are
too
advisable
to
follow
decisions
lax. Don't
for
and
will be
relax,
own
teeners
from
thirteen
to
166
Your
sixteen
with
function
or
without
Teen-Agers
dates will arise. An
well-supervised
groups
in
begin to learn how to
This, however,
relationships.
handle
must
maintain
when
evening
encouraged.They
themselves
be overdone.
can
rather firm stand
a
be
is to
occasional
in
boy
girl
will have
You
they expect
and
adult
to
privileges
this age.
at
is somethingfor
Singledatingbefore seventeen
you to review
If you feel your teener
is capable of handlinghimself
carefully.
herself in datingchoices earlier,that is for you to consider.
or
The one
danger in this earlydatingis that marriage is a career
If we
allow our
teeners
needingmany skills to hold it together.
to rush into earlyserious
we
are
boy-girl
relationships,
pushing
them into roles for which they are totally
unready.
The following
that call for serious consideration
matters
are
in your
1.
role
teeners:
Laxityin allowingyoungsters from
alone
out
parents of
as
thirteen to fifteen
to
go
night.
at
publicplacessuch as dance
halls,publicparks,street-corner
gatheringspots, or simply to
around the streets where they run
the risks of
wander
aimlessly
where
pickups.Know
they are going.
where
3. Allowingteeners
Restrictions on
to drive cars.
they
they take when using the familycar.
go and whom
for teeners
2. Permission
of
4. Formulation
Discuss
to go to
definite attitudes toward
some
attitudes with
your
teeners' smoking.
them, don't let them
think
they
shockingyou.
are
5. Alcoholic
they are
drinks. Discuss
drinkingwith
its hazards
so
that
informed.
6. The
placesthey want
to
go, such
as
house
beach
parries,
etc.
parties,
explainwhy you are what they consider
of mixed groups. You will have to discuss
"strict" on the subject
the dangers of pickups;the moralityand risks of
with them
in parked automobiles.
neckingand pettingat all,and especially
these subjects.
If
share their opinions with you on
Let them
It is up
you
allow
to
you
your
to
teeners
to
express
some
of their
own
ideas
on
the
Over
dating,
Don't
view.
it.
will
you
get
and
Boys
rules
are
mutual
of
later
"no"
shares
to
in
both
for
hear
to
the
other.
wholesome
This
these
controversies.
boys
and
selections
of
There
girls.There
they
way,
Discuss
request.
every
of
point
your
them
boy-girl relationships. Help
in
for
willing
are
say
decorum
one
good,
and
equal
standards
for
they
tough
too
proper
respect
road
that
girls need
double
no
find
167
Hump
attain
paving
the
marriage
for
are
in
mates
are
on.
FINIS
Well,
like
You,
but
don't
job
of
into
snags,
Don't
if
seek
must
behavior
the
on
has
career
honest,
If
and
can
you
laugh
with
understanding,
job
well
done.
advice
them,
and
is
no
are
guidance
be
reason
ask
to
Chins
yours
think
with
He
not
society
serious
some
strength
in
up! Every
God
won't
on
an
help
Him.
have
succeeding.
and
from
Your
run
are
you
of
teeners.
the
slip which
a
ostracized
because
help,
still
and
which
relationship
teeners,
your
you
for
cussion.
dis-
perform
you
is many
condemned.
your
spots, if you
with
your
not
With
there
rough
feel
of
one
admired
be
basis,
the
over
you
of
problems.
its
firm
part
There
will
you
professional
will
seeking help
that
feel
If
sincerity
problem
and
suggestions
and
discouraged.
this
in
territory
yourself.
in
unfortunate
some
of
need
us,
humility
become
accountable.
you
of
rest
with
deal
great
confidence
parenthood
don't
a
the
all
lose
ever
cause
may
covered
have
we
patience
Give
will
be
them
the
with
your
reward
them,
love,
of
a