How to Make a Good Confession
A Serious Guide for Serious Catholics
Cross-Referenced with the Catechism of the Catholic Church
How to Make a Good Confession
A Serious Guide for Serious Catholics
Rev. Dylan Schrader
2012
What is sin?
“Sin is an offense against reason, truth, and right conscience; it is
failure in genuine love for God and neighbor caused by a perverse
attachment to certain goods. It wounds the nature of man and
injures human solidarity. It has been defined as 'an utterance, a
deed, or a desire contrary to the eternal law.'”1
Will God forgive me?
Yes! God loves you very much. He loves you more than you will
ever know (cf. 1 Jn 4:10), and he wants your salvation even more
than you do. The “Father of mercies” (2 Cor 1:3) longs to forgive
you and will forgive any sin as long as you are truly sorry for it.
Only a lack of repentance on our part can prevent us from
receiving God's forgiveness through Christ (cf. Lk 13:34). God
made you for Heaven, and he wants you to get there!
Pray to him now and ask him to bring you to true conversion and
sorrow for sin. Ask him to bring you to love him above all things.
Why the sacrament of Confession?
Baptism is the first sacrament for the forgiveness of sins, since by
it we receive the life of grace and are integrated into Christ's Body,
the Church.2 The sacrament of Confession is the ordinary way in
which mortal sins committed after Baptism are forgiven.3
Christ established the sacrament of Confession when he gave the
Apostles the authority to forgive sins (Jn 20:23). The Bishops who
are the successors of the Apostles and the Priests, who are their
close co-workers, continue to exercise this “ministry of
reconciliation” (2 Cor 5:18).
Only God forgives sins, but he has chosen to forgive sins through
his Church, which is his Body and his Bride. Once we have been
1 Catechism of the Catholic Church [henceforth CCC], 1849.
2 CCC, 1263.
3 CCC, 1446.
1
integrated into the Church through Baptism, the Church must be
involved in our reconciliation with God. In fact, “reconciliation
with the Church is inseparable from reconciliation with God.”4
The sacrament of Confession is the forum in which we “confess
our sins” (1 Jn 1:9; Jas 5:16) and receive the forgiveness of Christ
through the Priest's words of absolution (forgiveness, the “loosing”
of sins).
What is the role of the priest in Confession?
In Confession, the priest is a judge, a physician, a shepherd, and a
spiritual father. He is to administer the mercy of Christ.5 He helps
the penitent to make a good Confession, receives the confession of
the penitent, gives spiritual advice if necessary, imposes a penance,
and absolves the sins of the penitent with the authority that Christ
has given to him.
What is the Seal of Confession?
The priest in Confession does not act in his capacity as a private
person or advisor but rather in the Person of Christ, the Head of
the Church. For this reason, the knowledge of sins he gains in
Confession is not his to reveal. Therefore, the priest may never,
under any circumstances by word or deed betray the penitent by
revealing the content of his Confession. This is called the Seal of
Confession.6
Priests have died rather than reveal the content of Confession, as in
the case of St John of Nepomuk. If a priest were ever to violate the
Seal of Confession, he would have committed a very grave sin and
would be subject to the strictest penalties in the Church.7
4
5
6
7
CCC, 1445.
CCC, 1465.
CCC, 1467.
Code of Canon Law (1983), c. 1388.
2
What are the kinds of sins?
Sins can be classified in various ways. They can be divided, for
example, by which commandments they violate, by which virtues
they contradict, or by the effect they have on the soul.
What is the difference between mortal and venial sin?
When we classify sins by the effect they have on the soul, we use
the terms mortal and venial.
Even a single mortal sin causes the soul to lose sanctifying grace,
the soul's share in the divine life. For this reason, they are called
“mortal,” since they are deadly to the spiritual life. Mortal sin is
the worst evil. Everyone who dies in the state of mortal sin goes to
Hell.8
For a sin to be mortal, three conditions must simultaneously be
met:9
1) The matter of the sin (the act that was committed; or the act
that was neglected) must be grave (serious).
2) The act must be freely chosen.
3) The act must be known or believed to be gravely evil.
A venial sin is one which is lacking in one of the three conditions
given above. Venial sins do not cause the soul to lose sanctifying
grace and do not warrant eternal loss of Heaven, but they do offend
God and make it easier to fall into mortal sin.
Mortal sins committed after Baptism can be forgiven by
Confession or by an act of perfect contrition along with the
intention to go to Confession as soon as possible.10
8 CCC, 1035, 1861.
9 CCC, 1857.
10 CCC, 1452, 1484.
3
What should I do if I commit a mortal sin?
If you have the misfortune of committing a mortal sin, you should
pray to God for the grace of perfect contrition, make a sincere act
of contrition, resolve to go to Confession as soon as possible, and
(in almost all circumstances) avoid receiving any sacraments until
you have gone to Confession.
What is grave matter?
The matter of a sin can be grave (serious) in several ways:11
1) Some sins are always grave by their very nature.
1. These sins become venial only through lack of
knowledge or lack of full consent.
2) Some sins are usually grave by their nature.
1. These sins become venial through lack of knowledge,
lack of full consent, or if in particular circumstances
they happen to do very little harm.
3) Some sins are usually venial by their nature.
1. These sins become grave if in particular circumstances
they do serious harm or if they are believed to be grave
at the time they are committed.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church will sometimes tell you
when a sin is always grave by its nature (e.g., sacrilege, missing
Mass on Sunday, or any sin against the Sixth Commandment) or
when it can become grave due to circumstances (e.g., lying or
theft). If you are unsure, simply confess the sin with any pertinent
details so that the priest will be able to form a proper
understanding of what you are confessing.
What sins must be confessed?
As far as it is possible, all mortal sins that have been committed
after Baptism and that have not yet been mentioned in a good
11 Heribert Jone, Moral Theology, Urban Adelman, trans. (Rockford, IL: TAN,
1993), n. 97.
4
Confession must be confessed.12 It is very helpful but not required
to confess venial sins.
How must mortal sins be confessed?
Mortal sins must be confessed by kind and number insofar as this
is possible.13
To confess by kind means to confess the particular type of sin
inasmuch as it is distinct from other types of sins.
For example: Lying is distinct from theft. Fornication is distinct
from adultery.
To confess by number means to confess the number of times the
sin has been committed, at least approximately, or to confess the
frequency with which the sin has been committed.
For example: “I missed Mass on Sunday three times” or “I went
five years without going to Mass” or “I have told a small lie two
or three times a week since my last Confession.”
What kind of contrition (sorrow) must I have for my sins?
We distinguish two types of contrition (sorrow):
1) Perfect contrition is sorrow that is founded on the virtue of
charity, namely sorrow that our sins have offended God
who is perfectly good and deserving of all love.14
2) Imperfect contrition is sorrow founded on a lesser motive,
e.g., fear of punishment.15
For a good Confession, perfect contrition is ideal, but imperfect
contrition is sufficient.16
12
13
14
15
16
Code of Canon Law (1983), c. 988.
Code of Canon Law (1983), c. 988.
CCC, 1452.
CCC, 1453.
CCC, 1453.
5
Contrition must be interior, supernatural, supreme, and universal.
Interior: Contrition must be not a matter only of words but also
come from the heart. Even if we do not always feel sorry, we are
truly sorry if we regret committing the sins we committed.
Supernatural: Contrition must be based on motives that come from
faith, not on merely natural motives. Thus, we must be sorry for
our sins because they offend God or because we fear God's
punishment, not simply because of the bad consequences we may
suffer in this life.
Supreme: Contrition must regard sin as the greatest evil to be
avoided even at great cost to oneself.
Universal: Contrition must extend to all of our mortal sins and
must include a firm resolution to avoid all mortal sins in the future.
We are not truly sorry if we intend to continue offending God in
grievous matters.
What if I deliberately conceal a mortal sin?
A deliberately concealed mortal sin invalidates the Confession (a
“bad Confession”). The result is that none of your other sins will
be forgiven by the priest's absolution and you will have committed
an additional sin of sacrilege.17
What if I forget to confess a mortal sin?
A mortal sin that is forgotten in Confession is different from one
that is deliberately withheld. Even a forgotten mortal sin will be
forgiven when the priest gives absolution, but it will be forgiven
indirectly, since it was included by virtue of your intention to
confess all mortal sins.18
The next time you go to Confession and remember the sin, you
must mention it so that it can be forgiven directly.
17 CCC, 1456.
18 CCC, 1456.
6
There is no need to abstain from receiving Holy Communion until
after your next Confession on account of a forgotten sin, since it is
really forgiven.
How might a sin be committed internally?
A sin can be committed internally (i.e., without external action) in
three ways:19
1) Through morose delectation, pleasure taken deliberately in
sinful thoughts even without desiring to commit the sin.
E.g., it is a sin to take pleasure in thinking about sinful acts, even if we
would never actually do them in real life.
2) Through sinful joy, pleasure deliberately taken in past sins.
E.g., we sin when we relish or take pride in past sins. This is different
from enjoying or being glad about the effects or results of sinful
actions. For example, it is by no means a sin to love a child that was
conceived through fornication.
3) Through evil desire, the desire or longing to do what is
sinful.
E.g., we commit this sin when we intend or wish to do something sinful
but simply do not have the opportunity to do it.
When is there a moral obligation to make reparation?
Even once a sin is forgiven, it may require reparation in justice.
Whenever another has been unjustly deprived of goods, reparation
is morally obligatory.20 Reparation must also be made for undue
harm to another's reputation.21
19 Jone, Moral Theology, nn. 106–108.
20 CCC, 2412.
21 CCC, 2487.
7
How do I prepare for Confession?
To prepare well for Confession, you should take a few moments to
pray and ask God to help you to know your sins and to be sorry for
them. It is often helpful to pray before a crucifix or an image of the
Blessed Mother.
Then, it is important to make a good examination of conscience, so
that you know what to confess. An examination of conscience is
made by comparing your life since your last good Confession with
the example of Christ, the commandments of God, the Beatitudes,
the precepts of the Church, etc.
What if it has been a long time since my last Confession?
If it has been a long time since your last Confession, thank God
that he welcomes you back with open arms! To help yourself
prepare for this sacrament, spend some time in quiet prayer with
the Lord, asking him to help you to be sorry for your sins and to
know what to confess.
You may find it helpful to reflect on your life in sections broken up
by significant milestones (e.g., based on different stages of life,
different jobs, different homes, etc.). For each section of your life,
you can then do an examination of conscience, making the task
more manageable. It can be helpful to make notes for yourself, but
be sure to destroy them after your Confession. Remember that you
only need to do your best to approximate the number of times you
have committed mortal sins if you are not sure of the exact
number.
If you think that you will need a lot of time, you may want to make
a special appointment for Confession with a priest. If you come
during a regularly scheduled time for Confessions, be sure to arrive
as early as possible.
Do not be afraid to tell the priest that you don't know what to do or
to ask for his help.
8
A Guide for the Examination of Conscience
Please note that this is not an exhaustive list of sins. If you have
specific questions, consult the Catechism or ask your priest in
Confession.
Sins Forbidden by the First Commandment
I am the LORD your God: you shall not have strange Gods before
me.
Voluntary doubt about matters of faith, disregarding what God has
revealed and the Church has proposed for belief.22
Incredulity, the neglect of revealed truth or the refusal to assent to
it.23
Heresy, the obstinate post-baptismal denial of some truth which
must be believed with divine and catholic faith, or an obstinate
doubt concerning such a truth.24
Apostasy, the total repudiation of the Christian faith.25
Schism, the refusal of submission to the Roman Pontiff or of
communion with the members of the Church subject to him.26
Despair, ceasing to hope for personal salvation from God, for help
in attaining it or for the forgiveness of sins.27
Presumption, either hoping to attain salvation without God's help
or hoping to receive God's forgiveness without true conversion.28
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
CCC, 2088.
CCC, 2089.
CCC, 2089.
CCC, 2089.
CCC, 2089.
CCC, 2091.
CCC, 2092.
9
Indifference, neglecting or refusing to reflect on divine charity.29
Ingratitude, failing or refusing to acknowledge divine charity and
to return God love for love.30
Lukewarmness, hesitation or negligence in responding to divine
love; it can imply refusal to give oneself over to the prompting of
charity.31
Acedia or spiritual sloth refuses the joy that comes from God and
is repelled by divine goodness.32
Hatred of God comes from pride. It is contrary to love of God,
whose goodness it denies, and whom it presumes to curse as the
one who forbids sins and inflicts punishments.33
Failure to pray.34
Superstition, the deviation of religious feeling and of the practices
this feeling imposes.35
Idolatry, honoring or revering a creature in place of God.36
Divination, recourse to Satan or demons, conjuring up the dead or
other practices falsely supposed to “unveil” the future. Consulting
horoscopes, astrology, palm reading, interpretation of omens and
lots, the phenomena of clairvoyance, and recourse to mediums all
conceal a desire for power over time, history, and, in the last
analysis, other human beings, as well as a wish to conciliate hidden
powers.37
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
CCC, 2094.
CCC, 2094.
CCC, 2094.
CCC, 2094.
CCC, 2094.
CCC, 2098.
CCC, 2111.
CCC, 2113.
CCC, 2116.
10
Magic or sorcery, attempting to tame occult powers, so as to place
them at one's service and have a supernatural power over others.38
Tempting God, putting his goodness and almighty power to the test
by word or deed.39
Sacrilege, profaning or treating unworthily the sacraments and
other liturgical actions, as well as persons, things, or places
consecrated to God.40
For example, it is a grave sin of sacrilege to receive Holy
Communion in the state of mortal sin41 or to make a bad
Confession.42
Simony, the buying or selling of spiritual things.43
Atheism, rejecting or denying the existence of God.44
Sins Forbidden by the Second Commandment
You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.
Breaking a vow, failing in a binding promise that one has made to
God.45
Blasphemy, uttering against God, even inwardly, words of hatred,
reproach, or defiance. The prohibition of blasphemy extends to the
Virgin Mary, to the saints, to the Church, and to sacred things.46
Using God's name as if it were magical.47
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
CCC, 2117.
CCC, 2119.
CCC, 2120.
CCC, 1385, 1457.
CCC, 1456.
CCC, 2121.
CCC, 2123–2126.
CCC, 2147.
CCC, 2146, 2148.
CCC, 2149.
11
Swearing a false oath.48
Perjury, making a promise under oath that one does not intend to
keep or failing to keep a promise made under oath.49
Sins Forbidden by the Third Commandment
Remember to keep holy the LORD’s day.
Missing Mass on a Sunday or Holy Day of Obligation without a
grave reason or a dispensation.50
Failing to observe the Sunday rest from work or activities that
hinder the worship owed to God, the joy proper to the Lord's Day,
the performance of works of mercy, and the appropriate relaxation
of mind and body without a grave reason.51
Sins Forbidden by the Fourth Commandment
Honor your father and your mother.
Ingratitude toward parents.52
Disobedience to parents when they lawfully exercise authority over
their children.53
Disrespect toward one's parents and other family members.54
Lack of care for the material, spiritual, and emotional needs of
one's parents.55
Failure to educate one's children in virtue, in the faith, or in other
necessary areas.56
48
49
50
51
52
53
54
55
56
CCC, 2150.
CCC, 2152.
CCC, 2181.
CCC, 2184–2188.
CCC, 2215.
CCC, 2216.
CCC, 2217, 2219.
CCC, 2218.
CCC, 2223.
12
Failure to provide for one's children the material, psychological,
and spiritual care they need.57
Unduly pressuring children in the choice of a state in life,
profession, or spouse.58
Abuse of civil authority when those with political authority violate
the rights of people and families.59
Disobedience to legitimate civil authority.60
Failure to pay taxes.61
Failure to vote.62
Failure to assist in the defense of one's country when one has the
responsibility to do this.63
Failure to respect the rights of foreigners.64
Following the immoral directives of civil authorities, that is
obeying laws that are against the moral law.65
Sins Forbidden by the Fifth Commandment
You shall not kill.
Failure to defend the lives of others when one has the
responsibility and opportunity to do this.66
Murder, the direct and intentional killing of an innocent person.67
57
58
59
60
61
62
63
64
65
66
67
CCC, 2228.
CCC, 2230.
CCC, 2237.
CCC, 2239.
CCC, 2240, 2436.
CCC, 2240.
CCC, 2240.
CCC, 2241.
CCC, 2242.
CCC, 2265.
CCC, 2268.
13
Risking one's own life or that of another without a grave reason to
do so.68
Refusing assistance to a person in danger when one has the
opportunity to provide real assistance.69
Abortion that is directly procured either as an end or as a means.70
Euthanasia, an act or omission which, of itself or by intention,
causes death in order to eliminate suffering.71
Suicide.72
Scandal, an attitude or behavior which leads another to do evil.73
The cult of the body, an unreasonable idealization of physical
perfection and success at sports.74
Immoderation in the use of food, alcohol, tobacco, or medicine.75
Drug abuse.76
Kidnapping and hostage taking.77
Terrorism.78
Torture.79
68
69
70
71
72
73
74
75
76
77
78
79
CCC, 2269.
CCC, 2269.
CCC, 2270–2275.
CCC, 2276–2279.
CCC, 2280–2283.
CCC, 2284–2287.
CCC, 2289.
CCC, 2290.
CCC, 2291.
CCC, 2297.
CCC, 2297.
CCC, 2297.
14
Mutilation which is intended either as a means or an end.80
Sterilization which is intended either as a means or an end.81
Disrespect to the bodies of the deceased.82
Anger, a desire for revenge rather than for justice.83
Hatred, deliberately wishing harm to another.84
Sins Forbidden by the Sixth Commandment
You shall not commit adultery.
Lust, the disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual
pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for
itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.85
Masturbation, the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in
order to derive sexual pleasure.86
Fornication, carnal union between an unmarried man and an
unmarried woman.87
Pornography, removing real or simulated sexual acts from the
intimacy of the partners, in order to to display them deliberately to
third parties.88
Prostitution.89
Rape, the forcible violation of the sexual intimacy of another
80
81
82
83
84
85
86
87
88
89
CCC, 2297.
CCC, 2297.
CCC, 2300.
CCC, 2302.
CCC, 2303.
CCC, 2351.
CCC, 2352.
CCC, 2353.
CCC, 2354.
CCC, 2355.
15
person.90
Homosexual acts.91
Contraception, every action which, whether in anticipation of the
conjugal act, or in its accomplishment, or in the development of its
natural consequences, proposes, whether as an end or as a means,
to render procreation impossible.92
Heterologous artificial insemination or fertilization, involving
parties other than the spouses.93
Homologous artificial insemination or fertilization, involving only
the spouses.94
Adultery, when two partners at least one of whom is married to
another party have sexual relations.95
Divorce, which claims to break the contract, to which the spouses
have freely consented, to live with each other till death.96
If civil divorce remains the only possible way of ensuring certain
legal rights, the care of children, or the protection of inheritance, it
can be tolerated and is not a sin.97
Attempted re-marriage, which places one in a state of public and
permanent adultery.98
Polygamy.99
90
91
92
93
94
95
96
97
98
99
CCC, 2356.
CCC, 2357.
CCC, 2370.
CCC, 2376.
CCC, 2377.
CCC, 2380.
CCC, 2384.
CCC, 2383.
CCC, 2384.
CCC, 2387.
16
Incest.100
Sexual abuse of children.101
Entrance into a free union or trial marriage.102
Sins Forbidden by the Seventh Commandment
You shall not steal.
Theft, usurping another's property against the reasonable will of its
owner.103
Breaking promises or contracts when they are morally just.104
Failure to make restitution for violations of justice between
persons or institutions.105
Frivolous gambling, i.e., putting at risk money that in justice
should be put to other uses.106
Unfair wagers or cheating at games.107
The enslavement of human beings.108
Disrespect for creation.109
Animal abuse.110
An unjust strike that involves violence or that includes objectives
100CCC, 2388.
101CCC, 2389.
102CCC, 2390–2391.
103CCC, 2408.
104CCC, 2410.
105CCC, 2412.
106CCC, 2413.
107CCC, 2413.
108 CCC, 2414.
109 CCC, 2415.
110 CCC, 2418.
17
not directly linked to working conditions or that are contrary to the
common good.111
Immoderate love of riches.112
Selfish use of wealth.113
Sins Forbidden by the Eighth Commandment
You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
False witness and perjury, lying in a public forum, in court, or
under oath.114
Rash judgment, assuming the moral fault of another to be true
without sufficient foundation.115
Detraction, disclosing another's faults and failings to persons who
did not know them without objectively valid reason.116
Calumny, harming the reputation of another by remarks contrary to
the truth.117
Flatter, adulation, or complaisance that encourage and confirm
another in malicious acts and perverse conduct.118
Boasting or bragging.119
Irony, maliciously caricaturing some aspect of another's
behavior.120
111 CCC, 2436.
112 CCC, 2445.
113 CCC, 2445.
114 CCC, 2476.
115 CCC, 2477.
116 CCC, 2477.
117 CCC, 2477.
118 CCC, 2480.
119 CCC, 2481.
120 CCC, 2481.
18
Lying, speaking a falsehood with the intention of deceiving.121
Violation of secrecy, when there is not a serious reason for
divulging information.122
Sins Forbidden by the Ninth Commandment
You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife.
Immodesty in thought, word, dress, or action.123
Sins Forbidden by the Tenth Commandment
You shall not covet your neighbor’s goods.
Greed or avarice, the desire to amass earthly goods.
Envy, sadness at the sight of another's good.
Sins Against the Precepts of the Church124
Failure to attend Mass on Sundays and on holy days of obligation
and remain free from work or activity that could impede the
sanctification of such days.
Failure to confess grave sins at least once a year.
Failure to receive Holy Communion worthily at least once a year
during the Easter Season.
Failure to observe the Church's laws of fasting and abstinence
from meat.
Failure to contribute to the needs of the Church.
121 CCC, 2482–2486.
122 CCC, 2491.
123 CCC, 2521–2524.
124 CCC, 2041–2043.
19
A Formula for Confession
(Ask the priest if you need help.)
The priest welcomes you.
You make the sign of the cross and say: In the name of the
Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. [The priest may do
this with you.]
The priest invites you to have trust in God. You respond: Amen.
[The priest may read from Sacred Scripture.]
Inform the priest of your state in life (e.g., “I am married,” “I am
single,” etc.) and how long it has been since your last good
confession.
Confess each mortal sin specifically and the number of times (at
least approximately) that you have committed it. Confess any
venial sins that you care to mention. Mention details only if they
change the nature of a sin, the seriousness of a sin, or your own
degree of responsibility for a sin. Insofar as possible, do not
mention the names or faults of others. Ask the priest if you have
questions.
Let the priest know when you are finished, e.g. by saying, “For
these and for all the sins of my past life, I am sorry.”
Listen to whatever advice the priest gives and answer any
questions honestly. Accept your penance from the priest unless you
are unable to complete it, in which case you should ask for a
different penance.
The priest invites you to make an act of contrition. You say an act
of contrition, e.g.:
O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended
Thee, and I detest all my sins because of thy just
punishments, but most of all because they offend
20
Thee, my God, who art all good and deserving of all
my love. I firmly resolve with the help of Thy grace
to sin no more and to avoid the near occasion of sin.
Amen.
The priest extends his hands (or his right hand) over you and
absolves you. You respond: Amen.
The priest says: “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.” You
respond: His mercy endures for ever.
The priest dismisses you.
What do I do after Confession?
After Confession, it is good to say a prayer of thanksgiving to God
for his gift of forgiveness and to ask him for the grace to avoid sin
in the future. It is advisable to perform your penance as soon as
possible.
21