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How to Put On Your Own One Person Show:
A Workbook to Help You Map and Present Your Piece
by Andrea Kittelson
www.HowToPutOnYourOwnOnePersonShow.com
© 2006
This book is copyrighted material. Please buy a copy for your own personal use. Please encourage your
friends to buy their own copies. I wrote this book with the intention of taking charge of my financial
future using my wits, not just my ________________________________________ (you fill in the blank).
Please support your fellow artists.
Table of Contents
Introduction
The Fourteen M’s to Mapping Your Piece
I.
Magma
II.
Mission
III.
Methods I – Personal Elements
IV.
Motive
V.
Message
VI.
Medium
VII.
Mask
VIII.
Milieu
IX.
Mood
X.
Methods II – Theatrical Elements
XI.
Methods III – Literary Elements
XII.
Meter
XIII.
Motifs
XIV. Map
The Six P’s to Presenting Your Piece
I.
Place
II.
Partners
III.
Practice
IV.
Publicity
V.
Presentation
VI.
Panning (Getting Reviewed)
Appendix
i.
Interviews with Reviewers
ii.
Script with Commentary
iii.
List of Venues
iv.
List of Publicists
v.
List of Reviewers
vi.
Bibliography and List of Recommended Texts and Performers
vii.
Acknowledgements
Andrea Kittelson © 2006
INTRODUCTION
Why I Wrote This Book
There is no place as magical as a theater. In a theater absolutely anything is possible. In a theater, we can
all, performer and audience, suspend reality for a time and live in a world of our own fantastic creation.
In a theater, we get to decide what happens. We get to call the shots. In a theater, there is no crime, war,
famine or intolerable misfortune. There is only fantasy and hope.
When there is darkness in a play, we assuage our fears with the knowledge that the despair will soon lift
and the lights will again turn on. When there is light, we bask in it until the very last minute. We bathe in
its inspiration and then leave resolved to carry that light into our daily lives. We make a silent pact to
make subtle changes that will steer us ever so gradually to a more permanent state of glory.
“I regard the theatre as the greatest of all art forms, the most immediate way in which a human being can
share with another the sense of what it is to be a human being.” Oscar Wilde
“I hold that a writer who does not passionately believe in the perfectibility of man has no dedication nor
any membership in literature.” John Steinbeck
“The center of the stage is where I am…” Martha Graham
I would like to invite those who have never ventured alone onto the stage to take a chance – to dare to
create a world that is entirely your own, and I would like to invite those of you whom have already
ventured alone onto the stage to dare to do it again.
Now, another reason I wrote this book, in all honesty, is that I have grown a tad disappointed with the
genre of the one-person show. I feel that many one-person shows have become, I dare say, overly literal
and self-indulgent. It is as though we (myself included) have forgotten how to use the medium of theater.
The theater is a place where reality should be suspended. Yet instead of letting reality go, we embrace it
and all its muck with such zeal as though reality were itself enough to move us.
Metaphor, symbolism and other literary elements that make the world of theater magical have started to
disappear. Perhaps this is because of the influence of cinema. Many movies are realistic, slice-of-life
narratives shot in real time and in real locales. Too many times we apply to the stage a kind of realism that
should be unique to the cinema, and we are therefore stuck.
When we are too literal and realistic, we close the doors to many theatrical possibilities.
Andrea Kittelson © 2006
1
Instead of thinking of one-person shows strictly as flat, autobiographical monologues, we should think of
all the ways that one person can create magic in a space. We should think of shamans, dancers,
contortionists, teachers, preachers, jugglers and midwives. We should think of storytellers, such as Xue
Xiaoqing and Garrison Keillor and character actors, such as Lily Tomlin and Carol Burnett and
performance artists, such as Rachel Rosenthal.
We should think of a blank box full of possibility and then imagine ourselves in that box. Not the selves
we thought we were or the selves we present to our cubicles on Wednesday mornings, but the genius
selves – the crazed buffoons no one completely understands.
And when we prepare our shows, we should keep in mind the purposes of live theater and of drama.
James Manley, a professor of Myth and Ritual at UCLA Extension, says that one of the primary purposes
of drama is to symbolically rehearse life’s various rites of passage. It’s an opportunity for all present, the
performer and the audience, to practice living either in a slightly different way or a tad more fully. I
believe, too, that a primary purpose of drama is to teach us something new. I invite you to think about
what you believe to be the purposes of theater and of drama and to connect those beliefs to your work.
How to Use This Book
This book is a collection of exercises meant to be worked through. You may work through some or all of
them, and you may tackle them in any order. Some exercises might make you cringe; they might seem
cheesy or simple-minded. I implore you to go through those, especially. No one will be looking, and you
can’t be either too self-aware or too prepared when it comes to putting on a show.
These exercises may either replace workshops or be a companion to them. When I teach workshops using
this book, I focus on a few of the most crucial exercises that I believe characterize the difference between
putting on a typical show and one that more fully uses the medium of theater and that importantly more
fully utilizes the strengths (and not the weaknesses) of the performer.
This is not meant to be the definitive book on this subject any more than a single performance is meant to
be the definitive performance on any one issue, but hopefully it will inspire you to think more deeply
about your process, to create a piece that is more authentically “you” and to add to the theatrical canon a
unique theatrical event that is satisfying to both you and an audience.
Andrea Kittelson © 2006
2
Magma – Molten rock material within the earth…
Andrea Kittelson © 2006
3
MAGMA
Before we roll up our sleeves and begin the rigorous work of creating a show, let’s talk for a moment
about the creative process. Each one of us on a daily basis ventures up and down on a continuum of
consciousness. When we put on our clothes, we are in one state; when we read the paper, we are in
another; when we write letters to loved ones, we are in yet another. We apply to each task a different level
of mental (and spiritual) focus.
When we create art, in order for that art to be inspirational to ourselves and to others, we should venture
as much as possible into the deepest state of focus – a state I call the Magma Layer.
What exactly is the Magma Layer?
Compare the levels of concentration to the layers of rock:
The first level of concentration, or topsoil layer, is where you are distractible, unfocused, self-conscious
and social. Your energy is in your eyes.
The second level, or sedimentary rock layer, is where you have begun to think. You are cognizant of what
you need to do and have begun doing it. Your energy is in your head.
The third level, or metamorphic rock layer, is where you have begun to feel. If you are writing, you are
writing quickly and you are less aware of what is going on around you. Your energy is in your belly.
The final level, or magma layer, is where you write so quickly it’s as though your piece is writing you.
You are completely unaware of the room around you. You have transcended feelings and have arrived at
a place of truth. You receive answers as though from a place beyond your pen. Like hot magma connects
to the core of the earth, you connect to a collective understanding. Your energy is in your spirit.
I believe that all significant learning and creating happens in the magma layer.
As you write your one-person show, take stock of when you are in each layer. Then make sure to honor
each layer and to plan a time and venue for you to venture, especially and whole-heartedly, into the
magma.
Andrea Kittelson © 2006
4
Mission – A pre-established and often self-imposed objective or purpose…
Andrea Kittelson © 2006
5
MISSION
Businesses, when they first start, create mission statements that express their ultimate goal and their basic
philosophy. For example, Boeing’s mission in 1950 was to “Become the dominant player in commercial
aircraft and bring the world into the jet age.”
People, when they embark on any enterprise, should be just as mindful about what it is they want to
accomplish. Before putting yourself in the public eye, think first about what you aim to do. Consider your
goals – both long and short term.
To help you get started in the process of clarifying your mission, please answer the following questions
with regard to your long-term goals. Don’t limit yourself to what you think is probable. Instead imagine
what is possible.
What is my ultimate fantasy with regard to my theatrical career? How far do I want to go?
In six years where will I be living?
In six years what will be my financial status and what job(s) will I have?
In six years what will be my typical day?
In six years what people will be in my midst?
In six years what will be my most celebrated accomplishments?
Andrea Kittelson © 2006
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Next, consider the aforementioned and brainstorm your own mission statement. Be sure to focus foremost
on your very first answer regarding your ultimate fantasy.
EXAMPLES:
Microsoft: To help people and businesses throughout the world realize their full potential.
Nike: To bring inspiration and innovation to every athlete in the world.
American Heart Association: To reduce disability and death from cardiovascular diseases and stroke.
Bank of America: To build strong communities by helping people achieve their dreams…[to]reach for
higher standards every day, in everything we do - for our customers, our shareholders, our associates and
our communities, upon which the future prosperity of our company rests.
One Memphis Area Burger King Franchise: [To] prepare and sell quick service food to fulfill our guests’
needs more accurately, quickly, courteously, and in a cleaner environment than our competitors…[to]
conduct all our business affairs ethically and with the best employees in the mid-south…[to] continue to
grow profitably and responsibly, and provide career advancement opportunities for every willing member
of our organization.
Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream: To make, distribute & sell the finest quality all natural ice cream & euphoric
concoctions with a continued commitment to incorporating wholesome, natural ingredients and promoting
business practices that respect the Earth and the Environment...to operate the company on a sustainable
financial basis of profitable growth, increasing value for our stakeholders & expanding opportunities for
development and career growth for our employees…to operate the company in a way that actively
recognizes the central role that business plays in society by initiating innovative ways to improve the
quality of life locally, nationally & internationally.
YOURS: _____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Andrea Kittelson © 2006
7
Keeping in mind your mission statement, clarify your short-term goals, or objectives. These should be
specific, measurable and aligned with your mission.
Think about what you hope to gain from putting on your own show. Rank the relevant objectives in order
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, etc:
Get an agent _____
Get a review _____
Go on tour _____
Add something substantial to my resume _____
Have something for my reel _____
Be seen by more people in the entertainment industry _____
Network _____
Get offered a role on screen _____
Be invited to join a company _____
Showcase my already developed acting skills _____
Showcase my already established writing skills _____
Hone my acting skills _____
Hone my writing skills _____
Express my unique point of view _____
Create my own vehicle because I don’t neatly fit into any one currently existing genre _____
Make a bit of money_____
Other _____
Next, write your mission statement followed by at least three of your objectives:
Mission Statement: ____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Objectives in order:



Andrea Kittelson © 2006
8
What do you notice about the correlation between your mission statement and your objectives? Are they
in sync? Reflect on your mission and your objectives and make any necessary changes:
Revised Mission Statement: _____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Objectives in order:



Taking into consideration your mission and your objectives, write a list of action steps. These are steps
you will take to arrive at your objectives and then ultimately at your mission.
In the next six months I plan to (check all that apply):
Do the exercises in this book _____
Enter a contest _____
Take a workshop _____
Join AFTRA _____
Teach a workshop _____
Join SAG _____
Write my own show _____
Join Actors’ Equity _____
Have someone help me write a show _____
Quit AFTRA, SAG and/or Actors’ Equity _____
Perform a solo show _____
Apply to get a BA, BFA, MFA or PHD _____
Perform in an ensemble show _____
Apply for a certificate program _____
Participate in a stand-up open mic _____
Get a different day job _____
Join a choir _____
Move _____
Join or start a band _____
Get married _____
Take an extension class _____
Get divorced _____
Take an improv class ______
Send my children to boarding school _____
Start my own improv group _____
Other ________________________________
Join a writing group _____
Other ________________________________
Join an acting company _____
Other ________________________________
Start my own theater company _____
Other ________________________________
Andrea Kittelson © 2006
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Inherent in your mission are your values. Your values are the aspects of life that you prioritize, whether
you are aware of it or not. They might include: God, career, family life, romantic love, intellectual
achievement, intellectual stimulation, social service, etc…
The reason you want to consider your values alongside your mission, is that the more aligned your mission
and your values, the greater the chance you’ll arrive at your mission (and the happier you will be).
Choose ten and rank them in order from least to most important:
_____ Family
_____ Adventure
_____ Popularity
_____ Education
_____ Creativity
_____ Conformity
_____ Physical strength
_____ Community service
_____ Rebellion
_____ Stoicism
_____ Romantic love
_____ Financial security
_____ Religion
_____ Friends
_____ Personal safety
_____ Politics
_____ Pets
_____ Risk-taking
_____ Career
_____ Travel
_____ Humor
_____ Intellectual challenge
_____ Electronic gadgets
_____ Playfulness
_____ Intellectual achievement
_____ Social interaction
_____ Other
Once you have reflected on your values, write the top four alongside your mission:
Mission: ___________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________
Values:
____________________, ____________________, ____________________, ___________________
Objectives:



Action Steps:



Andrea Kittelson © 2006
10
Method – A way, technique or process of or for doing something…
Andrea Kittelson © 2006
11
METHODS I – Personal Elements
After you clarify your mission, take some time to consider your methods. What do you have to offer?
What are you currently excellent at? (See Inventory of Theatrical Skills on the next page).
After you take the Inventory of Theatrical Skills, write your own letter of recommendation. Write
from the point of view of a director or teacher with whom you once worked and address it to a
director or theater manager with whom you might one day like to work.
Date _________________
Dear _________________,
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
Sincerely,
___________________________
___________________________
After writing and then reading your letter, what do you notice about your talents, work habits and
self-image? How can you adjust any or all of those in order to put on a show that is fulfilling to both
you and an audience?
_________________________________________________________________________________
Andrea Kittelson © 2006
12
INVENTORY OF THEATRICAL SKILLS
On each continuum mark your current level of skill.
Aim to use in your show those that are at 7 or above.
Classical/Bel Canto Voice
Hip-hop
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Broadway Belt
Modern
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Folk Singing
Swing
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Harmonizing
Ballroom
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Sight-reading Music
Latin
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Piano
African
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Guitar
Brazilian
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Wind Instruments
Other ______________________
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Reed Instruments
Yoga
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Percussion
Martial Arts
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Rhythm and Coordination
State Combat
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Ballet
Suzuki Actor Training
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Jazz
Clowning
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Tap
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Juggling
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Andrea Kittelson © 2006
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Unicycle
American Sign Language
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Magic
Ability to Handle Criticism
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Storytelling
Punctuality
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Joke-telling
Current Level of Physical Health
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Stand-up Comedy
Current Level of Mental Health
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Solo Improv
Current Level of Financial Health
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Group Improv Short Form
Repertoire of Solo Warm-ups
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Group Improv Long Form
Repertoire of Group Warm-ups
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Accents
Teaching
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Vulnerability (Cry on Cue)
Make-up
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Classical Stage Acting (Shakespeare)
Costumes
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Comedic Stage Acting
Lighting
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Acting for the Camera
Film/Digital Video Production
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Writing
Music Production
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Memorization
Other ______________________
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Andrea Kittelson © 2006
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Motive – Something (as a need or desire) that causes a person to act…
Andrea Kittelson © 2006
15
MOTIVE
Before you begin the process of creating your own one person show, you must become fully aware of
your motives for doing so. Why do you want to perform?
Mission and Motive are linked, but I separate them because Mission pertains to your goals and Motive
pertains to your emotional and/or psychological impulse to perform. Mission is WHAT and Motive is
WHY. Mission is in your head and Motive is in your belly.
What do you feel in your gut? What is motivating you to want to put on a show? The need to face a fear?
The desire to get a rush from live performance? The hope of approval from an invisible entity? The drive
to validate your existence? The desire to prove to your parents that moving to LA was a good thing? The
draw to symbolically transcend a personal horror?
Once you establish honestly why you want to get on stage, then you can begin the work of putting
together your piece. If you are completely honest with yourself, then the process will be relatively easy. If
you are in denial, then the road will be replete with obstacles. It was Goethe who said “At the moment of
commitment, the universe conspires to assist you.” I take this to mean that when you are on the right path,
the journey moves rather smoothly.
No matter your motivation, be honest about it. If it is the desire to prove to your parents that moving to
LA was a smart thing, know it. Embrace it. Write a show about it. Don’t mask your motive as something
else. If your motive is to seek pity for a current predicament, then perhaps reconsider.
Example 1: Your fiancé recently gave you a pesky STD. Your emotional wounds are still open and pussfilled. You decide that rather than talk to him privately and calmly and let him know you are upset or
make a Voodoo doll of him and poke its crotch with pins, you write a show about your plight. You turn
lemons into lemonade. You call your show My Syphilis - A Gift from Gaia or some such thing. The
women in your knitting club admire you and think you are empowered and brave. They love how you
have turned your pain into art. They especially enjoy how you incorporate your now ex-fiancé into the
act. How you have him hand out programs and even wear a docent’s coat. How (and this is truly Avantgarde) you have him hold a magnifying glass to show the audience, one by one, your…
No! Don’t do it! No one wants to pay to see your Syphilis sores. Also, importantly, your show has now
become a passive-aggressive act toward your ex and a call for pity.
Andrea Kittelson © 2006
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Example 2: You once had a job on the psych floor of a hospital. You portray, with only a modicum of
skill, ten of your patients. First, Bob who bangs his head against the bed while reciting the Preamble to
the Constitution and then Hovic who likes to line up peoples’ shoes and then Sarah who cries all the time.
Your show has no clear through-line and your characterizations come off as caricatures, so your messages
are: “Let’s make fun of mental illness” and “Aren’t I interesting? I once worked on the psych floor.”
Example 3: Your childhood acne came back. Each new day there are more pustules on your skin. They
are everywhere. You are one giant pustule-impaired pimple monster. You can’t believe this is happening
to you. You were once the president of the drama club. You were second runner up for Snow Queen. You
were friends with Callie who was friends with Jennifer who was first runner up. You are now too
embarrassed to do anything but eat. You get really, really chubby. Now you are both boily and blubbery.
Yikes! What to do? You decide that if your acne has come back, well then, by golly, so can your
performance skills. You take a brush-up class on how to write your own one-person show. In that class,
people are talking about lost loves, old hang-ups, current addictions to pain meds, and you get the grand
idea to write about your acne. You think people will relate, which will be comforting. You begin by
writing a poem called Yes, I Have Pustules, But Love Me Anyway…
OK, this might actually be funny. Go ahead and write this show.
The key: Showcase the plights of others with seriousness and respect, and showcase your own with either
a healthy dose of forgiveness or self-deprecating humor. Don’t use professional theatrical performance as
an opportunity to launch an indirect attack, to seek approval or to illicit an “Awww…”
This is where we all take a deep Yoga breath, a second handful of peanuts and a long sip of Glenfiddich –
just in time for this to become relentless and preachy. I will continue to hammer this point like a very long
and rusty nail because I think this is important. Know that I seek to take my own advice. I am on a quest
to make my own shows less like therapy and more like art. We are in this together.
It’s not fair to use the stage as a therapist’s couch or as a launching pad for revenge, and it’s not fair to
charge an audience money to see you come unglued. If you do expose your hardships, please model for
the audience some sort of movement from that tragic place. Model for the audience forgiveness of your
perpetrators. Model growth. Model transcendence. Be a hero, not a victim.
Andrea Kittelson © 2006
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Be deliberate with your combination of subject matter and tone. If you write about your Syphilis sores,
then make your show funny. Include charts and puppets and showgirls and an open bar in the lounge and
perhaps even free tickets to Paris, or else you might be abusing your audience’s time and wallet.
THE VICTIM’S JOURNEY
Consider this: Approximately 20% of American women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime
(National Institute of Justice, 2006), close to 25% of American children will witness repeated domestic
violence (National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 2005), around 50% of American men will be
diagnosed with cancer (American Cancer Society, 2006), and exactly 100% of Americans will experience
some form of heartbreak. What do these statistics tell us? That pain, trauma and loss are universal. What
does this have to do with one-person shows? Your pain is not unique. What is unique is your perspective
on the pain and importantly your ability to overcome it. An audience is more moved by enlightened ways
to look at misery and at the heroic act of overcoming it than they are by victimization. That’s why you’ve
heard a lot about “The Hero’s Journey.” They teach it in public high schools, in college creative writing
programs, in film school and in self-help seminars. People love to watch heroes slay dragons. Watching
heroes at work not only allows an audience to slay their own dragons vicariously, but it models for them
how to do it literally in their own lives. Therefore, when you perform, you are looked upon as a slayer of
dragons, so don’t aim (unless it’s with puppets and showgirls) to be anything less. It’s not that you’ll
always arrive at full-on dragon-burial, but at least you’ll have tried.
So, why do so many storytellers, performance artists and spoken word performers write, move and speak
about their pain? The immediate reward in sharing pain is that you get to share the burden, if at least for a
moment. You get to ask a nice passerby to help you carry a heavy trunk from here to there, which is a
relief. But charging an audience money to share your burden just isn’t fair. Imagine asking a passerby to
help you carry a heavy trunk, and then instead of saying, “Thank you,” you say, “Pay up!”
Now, after this discussion of what NOT to do in a theater, what are your thoughts and feelings?
Andrea Kittelson © 2006
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ASSESSMENT OF MOTIVATION – What is the root of your impulse to perform?
On each continuum, circle the degree to which each motive to perform is true for you.
Some of these motives to perform do overlap with mission. This is intentional.
To get noticed by agents/producers
To practice a new skill
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
To gain credibility from my peers
To showcase a mastered skill
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
To prove something to people from my past
To challenge myself
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
To prove something to my family
To have people understand my plight
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
To prove something to my sig. other
To provoke thought
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
To compete
To provoke emotion
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
To scratch an itch
To inform
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
To share my story
To entertain
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
To be heard
To inspire political action
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
To win love
To feel a rush
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
To validate my existence
To settle a score
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
To symbolically transcend a personal horror
To create a beautiful work of art
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
To model for others how to transcend horror
Other ______________________
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
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Message – A communication in writing, in speech or by signals…
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MESSAGE
After you reflect on your motivation to perform – on why you want to perform – decide on a message
– on what you want to say.
Theme: What is the topic of your piece? This is your piece pared down to one word. This one word
could capture either the problem or the solution. It could be homophobia or it could be tolerance. I
often think of theme as the human quality that helps the main character overcome the main problem,
such as Courage, Loyalty, Sacrifice, Hope or Love.
Thesis: What is the message of your piece? This is your piece pared down to one sentence. “I learned
to face my fears,” “Bureaucrats are repressed wildcats,” “Dairy farmers are nicer than you think,”
“My ex-wife should be tortured slowly.”
In order for a show to resonate with an audience, it should say something. It should espouse a point of
view. It should have a clear thesis. That doesn’t mean that your piece has to contain only one message
or that you have to be didactic or literal. On the contrary: the more symbolic you are the better. The
more you speak in secret code, the more universally appealing your message will be. But, whether
you are literal or figurative, all aspects of your show should revolve around one central message.
Don’t shy away from this step of the process thinking: But Postmodern performance art doesn’t seem
to have a message. An Abstract painting doesn’t have a message. Naïve art doesn’t have a message.
That is not true. In Postmodern art, the awareness of the act of looking at the art is in itself a message.
In Abstract art the breaking of convention is a message. What appears at first glance to be a nonmessage is actually a message. The message could be “Fight the status quo.” “Break the rules.”
“Buck the system.” “Don’t fence me in.” “Set me free.” In Naïve art the message might be “Isn’t
innocence remarkable?!”
So, be honest with yourself and be perfectly clear. Say succinctly and dramatically what it is you
want to say. Don’t chicken out and say a mishmash of lots of things because then you and your
audience will leave irritated and confused. And, if you just can’t help yourself and you choose to say
lots of things, then, like a plane takes off and lands, go forth into the cosmos but come back home to
your central message.
To generate ideas, complete the brainstorming exercises.
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BRAINSTORMING EXERCISES
In order to generate ideas and help you arrive at a message, refer to any of the following:
Old movies and TV shows – how would the world appear from the perspective of one of those
characters if he or she were in a different time, location or situation?
Directions to a packet of popcorn, a tube of hemorrhoid cream or a bottle of Johnny Walker Red
Photos
Magazines
Bills
The food in your fridge
Your resume
A timeline of your love relationships
Your high school transcript
Old letters
A typical day at work from the perspective of one of your colleagues
The man or woman who owns the neighborhood liquor store or copy shop – What’s his or her story?
The story of your birth, of the giving of your name, or your parents’ first kiss
Other prompts
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Write responses to the following statements and questions. These are prompts for the imagination
meant to inspire. They do not necessarily reflect anyone’s true beliefs.
1. I am at my most productive when I am in my Subaru, so I have decided to both live and work
there. I hope the kids don’t mind.
2. My ex-husband was such a saint. I don’t know how he put up with all that sobbing. His mistress
was probably much better behaved.
3. The necktie was invented by a tailor with a passive aggressive streak.
4. Why do people put Kleenex boxes on the back dash?
5. I am afraid of everything. My fear is so strong we could all use it as a rope to climb to the moon.
And I would totally do that if I weren’t afraid of heights. Or twine. Or cooperation.
6. Which is worse: having a root canal in a student clinic or having a pedicure in a third-world
morgue?
7. If I were taller, I would approach the world differently.
8. If my spouse were bossier, I would eat him/her.
9. I wonder what my son would do if I gave all his toys to the kids next door.
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Write your own statements or questions along with responses here:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Words to conjure images or emotions…
Read the following list of words. Notice how each affects you. After you read the list a few times to
yourself, aloud and with different dialects, choose one word to riff off. Write all the things that come
to mind about that word. Don’t hold back. Be extreme. No one will read your free-write, and rest
assured people would rather see a show with a strong opinion. This is theater not a church picnic.
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BOX
FAINT
STEREOTYPE
OCEAN
FATHER
HOLE
GREEN
FERTILITY
Andrea Kittelson © 2006
SURGERY
CARESS
FORGIVENESS
PENNY
PENCIL
DRUNK
TOES
LEFT-OVERS
RED
GRASS
CAR
ACCIDENT
NOSTALGIA
HAIR
LAKE
PAIN
HEAD
LYCRA
CHRISTMAS
SISTER
LIGHT
LINGERIE
VINYL
HIGH SCHOOL
BEER
MOP
BABY
BEARD
BALLOON
CLOCK
SWING-SET
BETRAYAL
LIMES
FREEDOM
FLASHLIGHT
HAUNTED
STAIRCASE
WHIMSY
HORSERADISH
DOLLAR
TICKLE
ROMANCE
SAFE
MOM
SPONGE
CUBICLE
25
DEATH
CHILD
Next, create your own list of words:
Notice how your words relate to one another. Take note of emerging patterns and themes:
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QUOTES TO INSPIRE THOUGHT
“A work of art is the unique result of a unique temperament.”
Oscar Wilde
“He lives the poetry he cannot write. Others write the poetry they dare not realize.”
Oscar Wilde
“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing
nothing.” George Bernard Shaw
“All great truths begin as blasphemies.”
George Bernard Shaw
“A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.”
John Steinbeck
“Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a
dozen.” John Steinbeck
“All men by nature desire to know.”
Aristotle
“Change in all things is sweet.”
Aristotle
“Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality which guarantees the others.”
Aristotle
“Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life.”
Dorothy Parker
“I hate to write but I love having written."
(Quiz: Who said this?)
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What is your message? What are you burning to say? Write twenty possible thesis statements here.
Examples: I’ll never live up to my first grade teacher’s expectations; Meatballs should be banned;
Jimmy Carter is a great humanitarian…
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
Choose seven, and put them in order of urgency or dramatic appeal.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
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Take special note of those thesis statements that an audience might find compelling. Ask
yourself which statements can or should be brought into a public forum.
Is the top-ranked item potentially fodder for a show?
Could there be a funny spin on it?
Will my exposing this truth hurt or embarrass anyone?
Will the audience relate to it?
Will the audience find value in it with regard to their own lives?
Will the audience not just tolerate spending money to see this but actually leave the theater thanking
me?
Will the audience feel amazed that they got so much for so little money?
Will the lives of the audience members be a little bit better or deeper or the least bit changed
afterward?
Will the audience be entertained?
Will the audience be embarrassed for me or angry at me?
Am I distant enough emotionally to see my subject objectively the way the audience would see it?
Am I too distant and detached from my subject? Will I be dispassionate? Will my show be boring?
Next, choose the top two statements. To make them more artful think of how you could exaggerate
them, slant them, whimsify them, turn them on their head.
Then take the one statement that gave you the biggest stomach pang, maybe even your version of the
Syphilis idea, and make it workable.
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Choose one thesis statement and express it in a variety of ways:
Sing it.
Dance it.
Yell it.
Apply a Cockney accent.
Apply a lisp.
Write it with your left hand.
Write it with your toes.
Write it in lipstick on the mirror.
If it were a song, what genre would it be?
If it were the opening line of your stand-up routine, what kind of reaction would you get?
If your father said it, how would it sound?
If a six-year old girl said it, how would it sound?
If your rabbi, guru or priest said it, how would it sound?
Change it: make it nicer, meaner, raise the stakes or reverse it; then apply the aforementioned
gimmicks.
Explore contrasting perspectives and take bigger risks. Be a kook. No one’s looking.
Finally, for future reference, write your thesis statement, or message, here:
_________________________________________________________________________________
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Medium – A mode of artistic expression or communication…
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MEDIUM
After you come to terms with your mission, your methods, your motives, and your message, then
think about whether or not the theater is the proper medium for you.
Bill Peters, a professor of mine at San Francisco State University, would consistently remind us to
choose the medium most appropriate to proffer our beliefs. If your message would be best said in a
poem then write a poem. If it would be best expressed in a country song then write a country song.
Don’t do theater just for the sake of doing theater. Do it because the theater is the best medium for
you and your message right now, and then make sure you take full advantage of the medium. Don’t
simply enact a film on stage. Use the medium of theater and all that it embodies as fully as you can.
To help you decide whether or not the theater is the best medium for your message, see the overview
of theatrical styles. Then consider the following:
The basic theatrical elements (to be discussed more fully in Methods II): stage, set, backdrop,
curtains, furniture, props, lighting, sound, video, slides, scrim, live music, actors, stage hands, live
audience…
And cogitate on the following:

Plays you have seen where there has been limited use of the elements of theater.

Plays you have seen where there has been over-use of the elements of theater.

Plays you have seen where there has been effective use of the elements of theater.

Think of a specific theatrical “trick” you have seen (or that you can imagine) that could not be
used as effectively in any other medium and that enhanced the impact of the artist’s message.
For example a blue piece of tattered fabric used to suggest an ailing ocean; a group of actors
standing in a clump, swaying back and forth, to suggest the rocking of a boat; one folding
chair being used to suggest four different moods or locales.
Remember, in the theater, you have: limited budget, limited space, a live audience and no second
takes. If you’re going to perform in a theater, do it because it is the best medium for you right now
and then make full and creative use all that the medium includes.
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OVERVIEW OF THEATRICAL STYLES
In determining if the medium of theater is the right medium for your message, take note of the
different styles or movements within the medium of theater, some of which are outlined here. Maybe
you’ll be surprised. Maybe you’ll find the perfect fit for both your message and your sensibilities.
Style
Date of
Origin
Ancient Chinese
Before
Aeschylus-
Ancient Japanese:
Kabuki and Noh
Before
Aeschylus
Authors/
Practitioners
Characteristics
Elaborate costumes, masks and make-up, lengthy
productions, includes music, dance and visible
stage hands disguised.
Kabuki: for common people; about history,
morality and love; includes music. Noh: for the
elite; slow and ceremonial; includes music.
Aeschylus,
Sophocles,
Euripides,
Aristophanes
Plautus, Terence,
Seneca
Mythic, moral, political, tragic, involving both
humans and gods, performed outdoors in
amphitheaters.
Ancient Greek
525 BC
Ancient Roman
254 BC
Pantomime: Chinese,
Greek, Roman, French
BC
Marcel Marceau
Whimsical, silent, both realistic and symbolic.
BC
Asian Shadow
Puppets, Bread
and Puppet
Theater
Emphasis on stage craft (scenery and props)
more than on language or story.
Puppets and Masks
About religion and/or morality; Everyman most
significant medieval morality play.
Medieval
≈500 AD
Renaissance
1500’s
Jacobian
Late 1500’s
Spanish
1500’s
French
1500’s
Italian Commedia
dell’ Arte
1500’s
Neoclassic
1600’s
Corneille, Racine
Opera
1600’s
Scarlatti, Handel,
Mozart, Wagner,
Puccini
Restoration
1600’s
Wycherley
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Romantic, philosophic, less tragic than Greek.
Imaginative, tragic, comedic, satiric, hearty,
verbose, lots of word-play.
Kyd, Shakespeare,
Jonson, Marlowe
Beaumont,
Dekker,
Heywood,
Middleton
De Vega (wrote
over 1600 plays)
Romantic, comedic and sometimes tragic but
with an avoidance of death.
Molière
Comedic, satirical.
Suspenseful, colorful, entertaining.
Clownish, whimsical, escapist, satirical,
improvised.
33
Logical, restrictive, rule-oriented, naturalistic,
sometimes tragic.
Classical; often performed in Italian or German;
grand, historic, often involving folk legends and
heroes.
Largely improvised; irreverent; bawdy; comedic;
involving simple characters; often involving
parody; often traveling; originally done in secret.
Melodrama
1700’s
Pixérécourt
Simple characters; suspenseful plots; improbable or
exaggerated actions and reactions.
Realism
1800’s
Broadway
Musical
Late
1800’s
Gogol, Chekhov,
Ibsen, Shaw, Osborn,
O’Neill, Miller,
Williams
Gershwin, Rodgers
and Hammerstein
Vaudeville
1870’s
Benjamin Keith
Contains variety: comedy, juggling, animal acts, even
medicinal demonstrations.
Surrealism
1920’s
Artaud
Free from conventions; often violent, dream-like and
mysterious.
Dialectic
1920’s
Brecht
Intellectual, not emotional; meant to teach and to
inspire thought.
Existential
1930’s
Sartre, Beckett
Absurdist
1940’s
Camus, Ionesco,
Beckett, Orton
Avant-garde
1940’s
Genet, Beckett,
Pinter
Political
1950’s
Augosto Boal,
Sna’ Tzi Bajom
Experimental
1960’s
Rock Opera
Detailed set, realistic dialogue, dark side of life; since
the 1940’s involves “Method” acting whereby actors
really experience the emotions of the characters.
Contains a simple narrative, escapist, emotional,
romantic, often comedic.
Questions the meaning of life; anxious and
pessimistic.
In response to WWII; involves a mistrust and mockery
of language and of circumstance; ironic; originated
with Camus and his break from Existentialism, yet
shares similarities with Existentialism.
The term Avant-garde was first used to describe
Parisian painters in the 1860’s. It means literally “front
guard” but in essence “push forward.” Avant-garde
theater pushes the boundaries and resists definition. It
shares similarities with Absurdism.
Political; promotes discussion; utilizes a simple set
that suggests rather than replicates.
Chaikin, Grotowski
Non-restrictive; non-linear; symbolic; often socially or
politically defiant; provocative.
1960’s
Hair, Jesus Christ
Super Star
Contemporary
Asian: Butoh
1960’s
T. Hijikata,
K. Ono.
Postmodern
1960’s
Rachel Rosenthal,
Karen Finley
Performance
Art
1960’s
Rachel Rosenthal,
Annie Sprinkle,
Laurie Anderson
Political; rebellious; slightly more serious in tone than
musical comedies.
Amalgam of dance, ritual and performance art;
intensely focused; sexual, chaotic and violent; usually
slow-moving; often improvised.
Derivative; often non-linear; involves an awareness of
media and pop culture; involves an awareness of the
art, the artist and the audience and of their mutual
place in personal, cultural and political contexts;
emphasizes observer interpretation over artist intent.
Overlaps with visual art forms; spontaneous: elements
of time and place are central; usually does not contain
a traditional, linear narrative.
Storytelling
Timeless
Garrison Keillor
Classic narratives about anything of current interest.
Avant-pop
Emerging
Danny Shorago
An amalgam of and a reaction to Avant-garde theater,
Postmodernism and Performance Art.
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Mask – Something that serves to conceal or disguise…
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MASK
Once you establish your mission, methods, motive, message and medium, it is time to consider
your mask. Who you will portray? You may want to play a famous person, you may want to play
multiple original characters or you may want to be simply yourself.
No matter, you must be very deliberate in your choice of masks. You must choose those masks most
capable of fulfilling your mission, showcasing your talents and delivering your message.
If your piece is autobiographical, it is especially important to be deliberate with your mask. For
example, rather than stand on stage and be literally yourself in the present tense talking about your
life in very matter-of-fact terms, take a different, more theatrical approach. Be you in ten years; be
your first grade teacher; be one of your pets; be your mother.
The more unlike yourself you are in the telling of your story, the more options you have with regard
to theatricality and the more accessible to an audience you and your story become.
While writing my piece Into the Belly, which I put on for my fortieth birthday, I initially approached
the show from a very literal perspective. I imagined myself at the venue welcoming my guests. I
prepared stories from my life. Through the process of writing my show, I wrote so many opening
lines and first pages. Each one of them stunk more than the last. I was stuck. Then I thought Why not
make the theater someplace else? Why not be me in the future? It seems obvious now, but at the time
it was a mini epiphany. Once I made the changes, whole new worlds opened up. Once I dubbed the
theater a cruise ship, and once I decided to be me at 70 instead of 40, the pages just started coming.
Note: While this was my sixth one-person show, it was the first time I had written about my life from
the first person perspective. In the past, I had written shows from either the perspective of another
character that represented me allegorically, or I had written them from the third person perspective:
“There once was a woman who was stalking her old boyfriend. She waited on his living room
floor, with a flashlight, for him to return from work. She had made a lovely stroganoff – beef
stroganoff – because he loved beef stroganoff. She also prepared a luscious - emphasis on the
word “luscious” salad with beets. He loved beets…” (From Adventure Stories, 1996).
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Don’t think that if you write about your life you have to write in the first person. When you write
about yourself from the first person perspective, it is easy to get embarrassed and also therefore stuck.
To help you get started, use the following space to brainstorm ideas on whom you might like to be
and from which perspective you might like to convey your message.
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CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT
There are numerous books and classes on character development that may help you delve very deeply
into character; here I will aim to break it down into what I consider to be its essential elements. My
approach here is not necessarily Method – it is not about figuring out the entire autobiography of each
character – it is about figuring out those aspects of character that will appear on the stage.
First, though, please consider this: If you plan to play multiple characters, make sure that each
character is both NECESSARY and DISTINCT.
By necessary, I mean that it must be infinitely more interesting to tell the story from that particular
character’s point of view than from any other.
By distinct, I mean that each character must have a different body, voice, rhythm, point of view,
attitude and agenda than all the others.
How do you know when to create multiple characters? A friend and I are currently writing a piece
about Maude Adams. We could just tell the whole story from Maude’s perspective, but we have
decided to also include the perspectives of those who controlled her – Maude’s mother, Maude’s
manager and the playwright who wrote numerous roles for her. By including those other figures in
Maude’s life, we gain a greater understanding of Maude. We see how there is a little bit of Maude in
all who populated her inner circle (and hence in us all) and we see how Maude was affected by each.
Plus, it gives the actress an opportunity to show showcase her characterization skills, which are
strong.
After selecting the characters to include, don’t rely simply on exposition. You can’t have characters
talk about the main character. That would be the antithesis of dramatic. Instead, have each character
address the main character in a crucial high-stakes situation. (For more on the elements of story and
on raising the stakes, see Methods II).
Remember, all characters must be necessary and distinct. They must support the thesis of the show,
or they should not be in the show. A director once said to me during rehearsal, “If you are not adding
to the performance, then you are taking away from it...”
So, make sure each character adds to the show, or don’t include it.
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Once you have decided on the key characters, then a simple way to make sure each one is distinct is
to ensure that each has a different:
Body
Voice
Rhythm
Point of View
Attitude
Agenda
Your characters have to look different, sound different, feel different, and they have to want
something different than all the other characters.
BODY: How does the character sit, stand, walk, gesticulate and dress?
VOICE: How does your character speak? Does she or he have beloved expressions like “Holy horse
hockey!” or fillers, such as “Um, um, um…You betcha!” Take a look at sitcoms. At least one of the
main characters of every successful show has a memorable catch phrase. Peter Boyle’s character
Frank in Everybody Loves Raymond says, “Holy crap!” Sean Hayes’ character Jack in Will and
Grace says, among other things, “Just Jack!” and Jackie Gleason’s character in The Honeymooners
said, “To the moon, Alice, to the moon!”
After you decide on a particular catch phrase or two, then think about accent. If your character is
from a different culture and you have neither the knack nor the dialect coach to help you perfect your
accent, then don’t do the accent. Speak in your normal voice and focus on language and rhythm.
Don’t showcase a talent you don’t have. If you were to run a restaurant and you didn’t know how to
prepare goose liver perfectly, you wouldn’t put it on the menu. So don’t do that in the theater. Don’t
put accents on the menu if you don’t do them well.
RHYTHM: Every person has a different personal rhythm. Some people do everything fast. They
think fast, chew fast, walk fast, drive fast, talk fast, and they interrupt others frequently. Know this
and use it in your characterizations.
POINT OF VIEW: From what perspective is your character viewing his or her current situation? Is
he at the top of the hierarchy looking down? Is he at the bottom looking up? Does his status change
during the scene or show?
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ATTITUDE: How does your character feel about his or her current situation, and how does that
feeling evolve over the course of the scene or show?
AGENDA: This is an amalgam of your character’s mission, values and motives. What is his or her
number one goal? To win the other character’s love? To establish a higher place on the hierarchy
Which is most important to your character? God? Family? Career? Education? Rank the items in
order of importance. And finally, what motivates your character’s every move? The need for
approval from Mom? The need to win against a sibling? The need to validate his or her own
existence?
Once you know these basic elements of each character, you will find the process of creating multiple
characters not only less daunting but actually quite fun. Then, after you establish the basic
distinctions between characters, you can look for nuances.
Remember: only create multiple characters if you can do it well. Otherwise don’t do it.
EXCEPTION: There are some solo performers who perform multiple characters with only a
modicum of finesse, yet their shows are incredibly successful. Why is that? In my opinion, it is
because the themes of their shows are of great social importance. If you have the audience focused on
something more significant than your acting prowess, such as a current political crisis or an intense
social blight, people will forgive your methodological flaws. If your story has a relevant social theme,
people will feel petty critiquing your technique. So, then, my advice to you is: Either create a show
around a theme of social import, or make sure your characterizations are impeccable.
To see whether or not you have what it takes to play multiple characters effectively on stage, do
the following exercise…
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Character Montage: Create four distinct characters and perform them each for at least two minutes
on camera. Then watch along with another person who will give you honest feedback.
To help you create four characters, use the character development worksheet that follows this page and
record the information here. If you already have a few well-developed characters, simply record the basic
info here:
Name
Name
Name
Name
Body - (posture, gait and one
Body - (posture, gait and one
Body - (posture, gait and one
Body - (posture, gait and one
gesture)
gesture)
gesture)
gesture)
Voice - (volume, accent, and
Voice - (volume, accent, and
Voice - (volume, accent, and
Voice - (volume, accent, and
favorite expression)
favorite expression)
favorite expression)
favorite expression)
Rhythm
Rhythm
Rhythm
Rhythm
Point of View
Point of View
Point of View
Point of View
Attitude
Attitude
Attitude
Attitude
Agenda (mission, values and
Agenda (mission, values and
Agenda (mission, values and
Agenda (mission, values and
motives)
motives)
motives)
motives)
After watching the video, what did you notice? Which characterizations were strongest and why?
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CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT
ATTITUDE
Character Name:
How does your character feel about his or her
current situation? How and when do those
feelings change?
BODY
Age
Race
AGENDA
Gender
Rank your character’s values in order, 1-10
Posture
Family______
Gait
God______
Ailments
Love ______
Level of coordination
Education ______
Dress
Career ______
Other
Image______
Service to the Community ______
VOICE
Honesty ______
Accent
Loyalty ______
Volume
Other ______
Tone
Pitch
Mark your character’s mission and motives:
Favorite expressions
Other
To win parental approval ______
To pay homage to an ancestor______
RHYTHM
To prove something to someone from the past
Speed of thinking, walking, talking
______
Speed of doing certain tasks
To prove something to society ______
Other
To compete with a sibling ______
To compete with a friend ______
POINT OF VIEW
To get a promotion ______
What’s your character’s place on the various
To win back a lover ______
hierarchies? In society? At work? At school?
To seek revenge ______
With family? With friends?
To set an example ______
To distinguish self from stereotype ______
Other ______
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UNIFY YOUR CHARACTERS IN SUPPORT OF A COMMON THEME
If you create multiple characters, one great way to take the focus off of you and any potential
methodological flaws is to unify your characters in support of a common theme. In other words: have
your characters work together toward a higher purpose, preferably one of social import.
Multiple-character one-person shows that have been commercially successful have included:
Whoopi Goldberg Live; Fires in the Mirror; Twilight: Los Angeles 1992; and 9 Parts of Desire.
What they have in common is that the characters are united by a common theme AND the theme is
socially or politically significant. Perhaps they have been so successful because the audience feels
that their time is being spent wisely – that they are a part of something meaningful.
For the sake of practice, create three distinct characters (use the character development worksheets
if you choose) and then put the characters together in three different situations. Make one of the
situations personal (related to job or love life); make one of them social (related perhaps to sexual
orientation, abortion, race relations or religion) and make the other political/historical (related to
grand-scale competitions for territory, competitions for resources, war, etc). Or make them overlap.
Write the piece in the form of a one- to two- sentence logline. EXAMPLE: Three teens, Maggie
(introverted but depraved), Ramona, (wheelchair-bound but saucy) and Moses (vegan and rebellious)
leave their small town to escape new legislation that prohibits teens from ever hugging and kissing.
Your situations could be either dramatic or comedic. You decide. Just make them interesting:
Logline #1 ________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
Logline #2 ________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
Logline #3 ________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
Feel free to expand them on a separate page.
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Milieu – The physical or social setting in which
something occurs or develops…
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MILIEU
RENAME THE SPACE
There is no point in limiting the stage to be merely a stage. Make it a circus; make it a billiard ball;
make it the tip of a ballpoint pen. Just make it something other than a theater and something that
opens the audience’s hearts and minds a little more fully than when they entered through the door.
Elaine Stritch, in her recent Tony award-winning show At Liberty, was both literally and figuratively
on stage because for most of her life she was on a stage. For my show, Into the Belly, I was on a
cruise ship in the future. What metaphoric milieu coordinates with your previous M’s – with your
mission, your methods, your motive and your message?
Renaming the space will help the audience quickly suspend disbelief, and it will open the door for
plenty of dramatic options. Once I renamed my space a cruise ship, I had something to say if
someone left (“Man overboard!”); I had an obvious opportunity for audience participation (Russian
safety drills); and I had additional stage business (wobbly walking due to the giant ocean waves).
In order to create a milieu, it helps to simultaneously create a mask – a world and a character within
that world. Think about the previous M’s, especially your mission and your message, and then
experiment with different ways to honor them. Think of all the various perspectives from which you
can state your message and hence stake your claim.
MASK
MILIEU
OPENING LINE
Construction worker
Construction site where I’m
building a ________________,
which is a metaphor for a
_________________________.
“Watch your step!”
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Mood – A prevailing attitude…
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MOOD
What tone do you want to set? What is the tone and color of the language in your text? What is the
look and feel of the room or set? How do you want the audience to feel? What emotional arc do you
want for your audience? What emotional arc do you want for your character(s)?
In the theater, as at home, there are two basic elements to setting the mood. There is the physical
space – the layout, colors, furnishings, degree of cleanliness – and there is the emotional palette – the
“vibe” of the place.
When you craft your show, be aware of the emotional spices you use to pepper your piece.
EFFECTIVE ELEMENTS:
COMPETENCE, CONFIDENCE, GENEROSITY, COMPASSION, VULNERABILITY, SELFEFFACEMENT, HONESTY, HUMOR, FORGIVENESS, RANGE OF MOOD,
TRANSCENDENCE…
LESS EFFECTIVE ELEMENTS:
INCOMPETENCE, ARROGANCE, ANGER, RAGE, HOSTILITY, SELFISHNESS, BLAMING,
VICTIMHOOD, STASIS OF MOOD, NEVER-ENDING HOPELESS CYCLE…
Use the “effective” elements liberally and the “less effective” elements sparingly like you would
jalapenos or vinegar.
When you consider the mood of your piece, especially consider your relationship to the audience.
Just as in real life relationships, if the audience members are involved in a way that makes them feel
powerful and safe, they will have more fun. Perhaps they will leave feeling better than when they
arrived. Perhaps they will even say, later when asked, that they really enjoyed the show.
Describe the mood of your piece here, or graph it to look like a heart monitor:
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METHODS II – Theatrical Elements
In addition to personal methods – those attributes and skills you bring to the theater – you must
employ theatrical methods. The incorporation of the audience is one, and the utilization of other
theatrical elements, such as lighting and sound is another.
An important element of one-person performance is the audience. The audience can act as chorus,
mirror, confidante, jury, or as a second character with whom you are improvising. There is no right
way to go about including the audience; the only wrong way is to ignore them completely in the
planning of your piece.
In planning how you want the audience to participate, think about all the ways other performers have
included the audience. Spalding Gray, Karen Finley, Julia Sweeney and others.
Spalding Gray in his piece Interviewing the Audience actually puts the audience on the spot by asking
them questions. He has decided that perhaps their stories might be infinitely more interesting than his
own, and he gives them a forum within which to prove it.
Karen Finley does a lot of what she calls Postmodern performance where she asks the audience what
she should wear, which stories she should tell and how and when she should end the show.
Julia Sweeney barely includes the audience at all. In her piece Letting Go of God she offers a wordy
135-minute monologue about her relationship to God in which there is little room for external
involvement. (Is this choice symbolic?) Her show is so well-written and so thoroughly rehearsed that
her choice to perform for and not with the audience works well for her.
To see your vision a bit more fully, use the chart on the next page to map the theatrical elements of
your show. Think about what has already been decided with regards to message, mask, milieu and
mood, and think about how you could bring them all together if all the tools of the theater were at
your disposal. Don’t consider budget constraints just yet. Later you can find creative ways of making
your vision a reality within the confines of your venue and your budget. Right now, just be bold and
envision the show of your dreams.
Remember to use the medium of theater and all that it includes as fully as possible.
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Methods II – Theatrical Elements
Title:
Intro.
Audience
Set
Lighting
Sound
Offer
of
Info.
Foray
into
Details
Foray
into
Truth
Action or
Promise
of Action
Based on
that
Truth
Heart-felt
Goodbye
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Slides/Video
Other
STORY
You can design an experimental, non-linear performance piece (sample structures to follow) or a
more traditional narrative. Before you decide, be aware of some of the basic principles of storytelling:
Good stories are like good conversations, and good conversations follow a certain path. Here is a
short sampling:
Introduction: Hi, how are you? It’s been a while. Yes, it has. It’s great to see you.
Offer of Information: You look fantastic. Did you just have your hair done? Yes, just this morning
at Le Salon. Michael did it. He did a marvelous job.
Foray into Details: I especially like the way he inverted the back. And the way it frames your
cheeks. You have such striking, chiseled cheekbones. Has he done your hair like this before? I
haven’t done my hair like this since Charles first got sick. He didn’t prefer this style on me. It’s been
almost a year since his passing. I waited until now to do my hair this way. I guess I felt guilty
changing it. What made you get over the guilt?
Foray into Truth: Finding out he had a house in the Alps with his business partner Ken. They would
go there together every Easter. They were lovers. NO!
Action or Promise of Action Based on that Truth: I would love to talk more about this. So would I,
but I have a meeting in ten minutes. Would you like to have lunch later? I would love that! Great.
Let’s meet at Carla’s at one. That sounds terrific. I can’t wait to catch up. Me too. Maybe we can
plan a trip to the Alps ourselves! (They both laugh).
Heart-felt Good-bye: (They hug and kiss cheeks) See you later. See you soon.
Like the levels of mental focus can be compared to the layers of rock so can a good conversation and
hence a good story. Like a drill penetrates the earth: (it breaks ground, goes in, digs deep, digs deeper
and then comes up again quickly), a good story penetrate the barriers between people.
Question to ponder: Is the “Truth” the same as the “Message?”
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Write the basic elements of your story here:
Title:
Message:
Introduction (Top-soil):
Offer of Information (Sedimentary Rock):
Foray into Details (Metamorphic Rock):
Foray into Truth (Magma):
Action or Promise of Action (Magma /Metamorphic/Sedimentary):
Heart-felt Good-bye (Top-soil):
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There are several ways to look at story structure. Here is a table of typical structures as I see them:
Set-up
Beginning
Act I
Act II
Middle
Climax
Resolution
End
Act III
Intro
Offer of Info
Foray into Details
Foray into Truth
Action or Promise of
Action
Heart-felt Good-bye
Capture your story here on any or all of these story-boards:
Set-up, Climax, and Resolution:
Beginning, Middle, Deeper Middle and End:
Introduction, Offer of Information, Details, Truth, Action based on Truth and Good-bye:
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EXPERIMENTAL, NON-LINEAR FORMS
Not everyone thinks “in order.” If you are more drawn to experimental forms, perhaps you will find
some of the structures on this page appealing. Please note, that no matter your structure, your piece
should still have one central message and all the elements of a good story.
You will have an Introduction, Offer of Information, Foray into Details, Foray into Truth, Action
Based on that Truth and a Hear-felt Good-bye, just not, perhaps, in a typical order.
Try the following:
Details
Info
Truth Details
Info
Truth Details
Info
Truth Action Intro Goodbye
Or the following:
Truth
Info
Truth
Info
Details Details Details
Truth
Intro
Truth
Action Goodbye
Or one of your own design:
If these linked blocks don’t appeal to you, then think of a metaphoric mind-map. Like I compare the
degrees of mental focus to the layers of rock, you can compare the parts of your performance to the
parts of a tangible object. Perhaps think of a hurricane. The eye of the storm is your central message;
the eyewall is the truth and the rain bands are all the other elements of a story. Jut in, out, around and
back and forth between the elements to effectively convey your message.
If a hurricane is confusing, then think of a river and its tributaries OR a highway and connecting
roads OR a seesaw OR chaos theory. Just choose a metaphor and apply it. Having a tangible structure
for your piece means that: 1) Your piece will be mindfully designed; 2) you will be able to clearly
articulate to others all the aspects of your piece; and 3) you will feel more centered during rehearsal.
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EXPERIMENTAL EXAMPLE
Using the previously discussed conversation model, here is an example of how an experimental
structure might work. It is simple, but you can still see how it might be an effective alternative to a
more traditional narrative.
Details: The way it frames your face and draws attention to your eyes…
Info: You have not looked quite like this before.
Truth: I did not know until now that he never loved you.
Details: The way it falls on your shoulders and looks as though it will soon bound out of reach…
Info: You have not looked quite like this before.
Truth: I did not know until now that you were locked in a loveless marriage.
Truth: Well, not loveless entirely. He did love…He did love another…
Truth: Man.
Truth: And together they lived in a secret hideaway…in the Alps. Secret hideaway. Secrets hidden
away. Until now.
Info: I did not know such things until now.
Details: It is your hair that gives it away.
Info: Who does your hair?
Action: I will not go to him.
Truth: He might give me away, too.
Intro/Info: You do look lovely.
Heartfelt Good-bye: I am so glad we connected. Good-bye.
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DRAMA AND COMEDY
When crafting a show, it helps to know exactly makes a situation either dramatic or comedic. A
situation is dramatic when something is at stake for the main character and when the main character
must make a choice based on what is at stake. Consider movies like The Godfather, Sophie’s Choice,
Casablanca, Big Night and others. What’s at stake? What is decided? What is the result?
A situation is funny when the main character has a strong attitude toward something mundane or
miniscule. We laugh when he or she reacts hugely to something the rest of us consider to be small.
Consider each situation and, to make it dramatic, raise the stakes and mandate a choice:
Less Dramatic
More Dramatic
A woman will be mad if her husband comes
A woman will lose her_______________________ if her
home from work late because she prefers
husband comes home from work late because __________
punctuality.
_______________________________________________.
Her husband knows this and decides to come
Her husband knows this and he decides to _____________
home on time.
_______________________________________________.
A father will be upset with his son if his son
A father will _________________________ if his son
dates a Protestant because he is Catholic, and
he prefers to continue the family legacy.
dates a _____________ because ____________________.
_______________________________________________.
The son knows this and decides to tell the girl
politely that he is not interested in a second
The son knows this and he decides to _________________
date.
_______________________________________________.
Create a situation:
Make it more dramatic:
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Consider each situation and, to make it comedic, heighten the emotion and diminish the matter.
Less Comedic
More Comedic
A woman cries because someone dies.
A woman howls because she has lost her husband’s
favorite brown button.
An old man cheers because he wins the lottery.
An old man _________________ because he ______
__________________________________________.
A groom smiles because a stripper approaches and
A groom ___________ because a _______________
offers him a lap dance.
approaches and offers him a ___________________.
Create a situation
Make it more comedic:
In addition to high emotions for small matters, you can increase comedy also by changing the locale
and/or the consequences.
Consider your current message, mask, milieu and mood. Are there changes you can make to heighten
either the drama or the comedy?
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
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METHODS III – Literary Elements
As you craft your show, think about places in the language where you could do any or all of the
following:
Replace clichés
Instead of saying, “33 years is the age Jesus was when he died,” say, “33 years is the number of years
it takes to make a great Balblair single malt whiskey.”
Seek contrast
If your message is “Guns are bad,” rather than portray an anti-gun activist, portray a cheery and
heart-felt assault-weapon enthusiast.
Employ:

Humor and Hyperbole
Take your gun-enthusiast idea to the max. Be an old granny who whittles guns, bakes cakes in
the shape of guns, adorns her Christmas tree with guns and sings to her guns. Or, be a gun
yourself.

Personification
Instead of saying “The floor sagged under the weight of his large frame” say “The floorboards
screamed ‘Help!’ I think at one point I heard them call 911.”

Simile
Instead of saying “He left her at the altar…” say “He ran from the altar as from the scene of a
crime, and he ran back toward his bachelorhood like a prisoner to porn…”

Metaphor
Instead of saying “She was mad,” say “She was ablaze” Or “Her venom entered my system
with such a force; I think it poisoned every one of my innards” Or ______________________

Symbolism
Rather than speak literally of freedom, use symbols of freedom, such as birds, wild horses and
vagabonds. Have their journeys parallel those of your character(s).

Rhyming
Example: There once was an ogre from Tikaree, who looked and smelled of sweet chicory.
When at last he expired, his family conspired to drink him while dancing ‘round the Hickory.
Yours: _____________________________________________________________________

Alliteration
Example: Divorcée Dolores drank delicious Dutch Daiquiris in the dank and dark dungeon of
her depression. Yours: _________________________________________________________
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Meter – A systematically arranged and measured rhythm in verse…
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METER
There is a meter, or rhythm, to your writing and a meter to your performance. Here we will focus on
the meter to your writing.
All writing has a meter. From William Shakespeare to Dr. Seuss to John Steinbeck to Snoop Dog,
people have complimented their words with a cadence that allows the words to penetrate deeply.
As you write your piece, you may become more conscious of your default meter. That is the meter of
your thought, speech and initial writing. What you must do then, in rewriting, is sculpt the meter so
as to make the strongest impact on your audience.
Be mindful of how your piece flows and how the meter affects the impact of your words.
You want to marry your meter to your previous M’s, especially to message, mask, milieu and mood.
What you say, who you are, the world you are in and the mood you create should all correlate with
your meter.
Write the first 125 words of your piece here:
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________
Read aloud your piece. What do you notice about the meter you have thus far established?
_________________________________________________________________________________
Now, read your piece aloud to a metronome. What more do you notice?
_________________________________________________________________________________
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Motifs – A usually recurring salient thematic element…
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MOTIFS
In addition to meter, there are other patterns to consider. One such pattern is the pattern of motifs that
runs throughout your piece. Motifs, or themes, recur in such a way as to evoke images in the mind of
the recipient, to reinforce certain messages, to create a sense of familiarity or “coming home” at
certain intervals in the piece and to inspire additional thought.
If this is unclear, read the text at the end of this book. I offer the text of my own performance for two
reasons: 1) It clearly illustrates my point, and 2) it doesn’t violate any copyright laws.
Which words or images recur?
How do such recurrences affect you? Do they keep you engaged? Do they evoke images? Do they
have an emotional impact? Do they in any way impact the credibility of the author?
What if they weren’t there?
How do these recurring motifs support the overall message?
What is the overall message?
Now analyze your own writing. Whether you have 100 or 1,000 words, you have already likely
established a pattern of motifs.
What is your intended message?
Describe the milieu:
Which words or images recur?
How do such recurrences affect you?
How can you enhance what you’ve written with further consideration of motifs?
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Keeping in mind patterns of motifs that you have already established and would like to reinforce or
patterns of motifs that you would like to establish, re-write a sentence or scene here:
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
Draw a picture of your milieu. Include your most dramatic motifs:
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Map – A representation, usually on a flat surface, of the whole…
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MAP
See all the basic elements together on one working document – the map of your monologue. Don’t
over-analyze. A good performance doesn’t come solely from the head. If it’s 80 – 90% working for
you on paper, then begin rehearsing. Changes will occur during rehearsal. A variety of maps are
provided for you to copy and use as you please. Use any or all of them, or create your own.
Title
I. Opening (first line only)
II. Offer of Information (first line only)
III. Foray into Details (first line only)
IV. Foray into Truth (first line only)
V. Action or Promise of Action Based on that Truth (first line only)
VI. Heart-felt Good-bye (first AND last lines only)
Mask(s)
Milieu
Mood
Methods
Meter
Motifs
Other
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TITLE
MESSAGE
MASK(S)
MILIEU
MOOD
METHODS I: PERSONAL ELEMENTS (PERFORMER’S SKILLS)
METHODS II: THEATRICAL ELEMENTS (AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION)
METHODS II: THEATRICAL ELEMENTS (SET, LIGHTING, SOUND, VIDEO, ETC…)
METHODS III: LITERARY ELEMENTS (STORY AND FIGURATIVE LANGUAGE)
METER
MOTIFS
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Title:
Message:
Introduction (Top-soil):
Offer of Information (Sedimentary Rock):
Foray into Details (Metamorphic Rock):
Foray into Truth (Magma):
Action or Promise of Action (Magma/ Metamorphic/ Sedimentary):
Heart-felt Good-bye (Top-soil):
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Methods I – Personal Elements (Attributes and Skills)
Title:
Intro.
Offer
of
Info.
Foray
into
Details
Foray
into
Truth
Action or
Promise
of Action
Based on
that
Truth
Heart-felt
Goodbye
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Methods II – Theatrical Elements
Title:
Intro.
Audience
Set
Lighting
Sound
Offer
of
Info.
Foray
into
Details
Foray
into
Truth
Action or
Promise
of Action
Based on
that
Truth
Heart-felt
Goodbye
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Slides/Video
Other
Methods III – Literary Elements
Title:
Intro.
Replaced
Figurative
Clichés
Language
Symbolism
Alliteration
Offer
of
Info.
Foray
into
Details
Foray
into
Truth
Action or
Promise
of Action
Based on
that
Truth
Heart-felt
Goodbye
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Rhyming/
69
Contrast
Other
Map of M’s (Traditional)
Title:
Intro.
Message
Mask
Milieu
Mood
Offer
of
Info.
Foray
into
Details
Foray
into
Truth
Action or
Promise
of Action
Based on
that
Truth
Heart-felt
Goodbye
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Methods
Meter
Motifs
Map of M’s (Experimental)
Title:
Message
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Mask
Milieu
Mood
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Methods
Meter
Motifs
Place – A building or locality used for a special purpose…
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PLACE
An important part of the process of putting on your own show is selecting the proper venue. Just as
you match your medium to your message, you must match the venue as well. The answers to the
following questions should help steer you toward making the right decision with regard to place.
Where do you live?
Who is your audience?
What is your budget?
How much of a profit, if any, do you expect to make?
Do you want a union or non-union house? (Non-union houses are usually 99 seats or fewer)
What is your typical daily schedule?
Who are your partners?
What is the commute for each partner?
What type of experience do you want for your audience?
How far is the venue from your anticipated audience?
What is parking like?
Is the venue wheelchair accessible?
Does the venue offer food and alcohol service?
Other considerations:
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Partner – One associated with another especially in an action…
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PARTNERS
While preparing your one-person show, you will need to work in collaboration with other people.
Included here are some job titles and their descriptions. Compare this list with your Inventory of
Theatrical Skills and the Inventory of Business Skills to determine which jobs you can do yourself and
which you should outsource.
Actor: The person who brings to life on stage the playwright’s words, usually according to the
director’s vision.
Assistant Director: The person who assists the director. This person often rehearses particular
scenes outside of normal rehearsals to give certain actors or scenes additional or particular help.
Choreographer: The person who orchestrates the dance numbers.
Composer: The person who composes the music.
Costume Designer: The person who designs the costumes.
Crew: Anyone and everyone who run the show, including stagehands who move set pieces; grips
who hang lights; assistants who help build and apply costumes and make-up, etc…
Director: The person who decides how the playwright’s words will come to life on stage.
Dramaturge: This role varies widely from company to company and play to play. It is usually one
who helps in the producing, writing and/or directing of a play, especially with regard to making sure
that the play is internally consistent and that the writing and presentation are historically accurate.
Executive Producer: The person who puts up the money.
House Manager: The person who oversees the ushers, announces the show (“Good evening
everyone…please turn off your cell phones...enjoy the show”), works with the stage manager to setup the venue, handles venue-related problems that arise during the show, and perhaps helps host the
reception afterward.
Lighting Designer: The person who enhances the piece with lighting effects.
Make-up Designer: The person who designs the make-up.
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Mixed-media Consultant(s): The people who enhance the piece with other forms of art, such as
video, film, slides, etc…
Musical Director: The person who oversees any musical numbers. He or she may conduct the
orchestra, band or choir, if there is one; and this person may also be the composer, depending on
whether or not the music is original.
Playwright: The person who generates the concept and puts the words on paper in such a way as to
inspire awe in the rest of the team.
Producer: The person who does the legwork, i.e., gets any and all rights and permits; books the
venue; hires the publicist; oversees the publicist; oversees the stage manager, making sure the stage
manager oversees the equipment, costumes, props and actors; balances the budget, and more.
Production Designer: The person who assists the director in the overall aesthetics of the production.
The production designer acts as a liaison between the director and the design team. (In smaller
productions this position might not exist).
Set Designer: The person who designs the set, which includes the backdrop, large set pieces,
furniture and also the clever ways in which the set changes, allowing the scenes to flow seamlessly,
interestingly and in a way that’s thematically consistent with both the piece and the director’s vision.
Sound Designer: The person who enhances the piece with music and/or sound effects.
Stage Manager: This is the arguably the most crucial and far-reaching role. The stage manager
works with the producer or may even act as the producer. He or she helps manage the day-to-day
budget; rents and manages all equipment and props; plans and oversees the rehearsal schedule; makes
sure the actors are all on time and ready to go; and also often “calls the show,” which means that he
or she wears a headset and cues the lights, music and sound effects during the show.
Theater Manager: The person who works for the venue, overseeing its scheduling, maintenance and
day-to-day operations.
Ushers: Those who help seat patrons.
Videographer: The person who videotapes the performance and edits the tape afterward.
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INVENTORY OF BUSINESS SKILLS
On each continuum mark your current level of skill.
Am punctual
Am good at scheduling events
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Thrive under pressure
Am good at scheduling people
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Meet deadlines
Can troubleshoot
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Manage multiple tasks at once
Can problem-solve
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Possess a keen eye for detail
Can roll with the punches
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Am highly organized
Thrive in a crisis
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Communicate well in writing
Know my way around a toolbox
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Communicate well in speech
Know my way around a sound booth
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Speak well in front of groups
Know my way around a lighting grid
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Speak well on the phone
Know how to create professional press kits
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Have a sizable e-mail contact list
Know how to build a web site
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Am known to possess an even temper
Am good at creating back-up plans
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Am good at managing money
Know how to reserve rental equipment
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
Am good at math
Other
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
0 _1 _2 _3 _4 _5 _6 _7 _8 _9 _10
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Practice – To perform or work at repeatedly so as to become proficient…
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PRACTICE
A crucial part of the process of putting on your own one person show, of course, is the rehearsal process.
Once you have written your show and have selected a venue, then you can rehearse. Here is a sample
three-month schedule. Notice, there are typically three weeks of rehearsal leading up to a six week run.
I include a three-month schedule instead of a three-week schedule so you can survey the whole process.
Mon
Tues
Wed
Thurs
Fri
Sat
Sun
Casting &
Table-read
Production
Production
Rehearsal
Mon
Tues
Wed
Thurs
Fri
Sat
Sun
Mon
Tues
Wed
Thurs
Fri
Sat
Sun
Rehearsal
Rehearsal
RUN
RUN
RUN
RUN
RUN
RUN
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DIRECTING YOURSELF
Some people say that directing yourself is akin to performing your own surgery. I only partially agree.
When you write and produce your own solo show, it is important that you have an outside eye take a
look at your work, to be sure, but it also important that you have ultimate say in the presentation of your
piece. This theatrical event is your vehicle, after all, and the final product must align with your mission,
your motives and your message.
Here are three extremely different ways to bring in a “third eye.”
I. Once the piece is written, hire an experienced director to bring your vision to life.
II. Once the piece is written, ask a respected theater artist to read the piece and offer feedback on the
writing and to share ideas on the over all direction. Then ask him or her to come in at various intervals to
look at your rehearsal and offer feedback.
III. Once the piece is two weeks away from presentation, ask a trusted friend to come in for final
adjustments.
I usually choose the second option; the first and the third are too risky. You choose whichever way
works for you, or create your own.
When you ask for feedback, it is wise to have a list of no more than three specific questions per
feedback session. If you leave the field too open, you risk becoming overwhelmed and disheartened.
Examples of questions to ask: Is my motivation evident and appropriate? Is the message clear? Is the
choice of mask and milieu the best choice considering the message? Does the design scheme – set and
costumes – enhance the message? Is the staging efficient and clever? Is the space being used wisely
considering the content of the piece? Is the rhythm of the piece effective? Where could I adjust it? What
are the recurring motifs? What is their impact on your thoughts and emotions? Are there any motifs that
are either too subtle or too obvious? Are there places where I could heighten the drama? Are there places
where I could heighten the comedy? Are there metaphors I could explore more fully? Are there clichés I
should replace? What is the single, most important change I should make?
The more specific your questions, the more likely their answers will help you improve your work.
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Publicity – An act or device designed to attract public interest…
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PUBLICITY
Key to planning a performance is publicizing it. Many performers overlook this task even though this is
arguably the most important. If no one is in the audience to experience your piece, what is the point of
presenting it?
Hopefully, your piece will have such a strong message and it will so thoroughly utilize all your strengths
that you won’t want to risk the possibility of performing for an empty house and you will do whatever it
takes to fill seats.
Once you have written your show and have booked a venue (hopefully at least three months in advance),
the next step is hiring a publicist to work behind the scenes while you rehearse. (Refer to the list of
publicists in the appendix of this book).
If you do not want to hire a publicist, and you would like to market your show yourself, or if you do hire
a publicist and you want to help out, here’s a checklist of tasks to consider:
_____ Build a website strictly for the show.
_____ Put an ad on craigslist.
_____ Create a page on MySpace, Yahoo!, MSN and anywhere else you can find free space.
_____ Join on-line e-mail groups and networks.
_____ Develop your own e-mail contact list.
_____ E-mail your contacts one month, one week, and one day before opening and then again as
needed during the run.
_____ Buy ad space in local papers, especially in those that target your desired audience.
_____ Create eye-catching, professional and error-free fliers and postcards.
_____ Buy, rent or borrow mailing lists from other theater companies and/or arts organizations.
_____ Mail postcards one month and one week before opening and then at least once during the run.
_____ Post fliers one month and one week before opening and then several times during the run.
_____ Collaborate with the venue and their publicity team, if they have one.
_____ Call potential patrons on the phone and ask them personally to attend.
_____ Other
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Presentation – The act of presenting or bringing something (as a play)
before the public…
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PRESENTATION
Once your show has opened, you will want to keep your energy up and your show fresh. The longer the
run, the more difficult that is.
Here is a list of strategies to help keep your energy up:

Before and during the run, don’t overbook yourself.

Get your finances in order so you won’t have to stress once the show opens.

Get lots of sleep.

Drink tons of water and very little alcohol.

Do Yoga or Pilates or swim or go for walks; these are all rigorous yet calming activities.

Eat healthy.

Keep snacks on hand, either in your purse or briefcase.

Avoid conflict in your personal life; save fights for after the run.

Avoid hosting out of town guests if that would be a source of stress; have guests stay in hotels.

Hire back-up baby-sitters so you won’t have to scramble last-minute.

Keep a diary.

Be punctual to every place you go. Punctuality alleviates stress.

Other ________________________________________________________________________
Here is a list of tips to assure your show remains strong and fresh:

Don’t over-rehearse; don’t under-rehearse.

If possible, have brush-up rehearsals each week on the day before the show goes up.

Find something new to wear, say or do each night.

Have an element of improvisation in your show.

Involve the audience in your show.

If you must re-write the more fixed aspects of the show during the run, keep the changes minor.
Don’t make significant changes to more than one scene per performance.

Manage your time well. If you are un-stressed, you will be able to be in your magma space more
of the time and you will hence be more able to create magic.
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Here is a sample schedule of a typical six-week run. Things to include are:

Run-through(s)

Press deadlines

Tech rehearsal(s)

Dates the various papers come out

Dress-rehearsal

Crew members’ personal schedules

Opening night reception

Other ____________________________
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Week
I
Week
II
Week
III
Week
IV
Week
V
Week
VI
CONTACTS:
Theater Manager:
Stage Manger:
Publicist:
Director:
Assistant Director:
Equipment Rental Company:
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Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Panning –
A. To criticize harshly
B. To aim an iron skillet directly at the frontal lobe of a harsh critic
C. To hit oneself with an iron skillet after harsh reviews have come out
D. All of the above
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PANNING
One of the most feared aspects of performing is getting reviewed. Even if you feel shy, I urge you to go
ahead full-throttle and invite the press. Get it over with. Face your fears.
If you hire a publicist, or if you are part of a festival or a particular theater’s line-up, then you won’t need
to contact reviewers directly. If you don’t and aren’t then you will have to contact reviewers yourself.
When doing so, follow these basic guidelines:

If you can afford it, place ads in the papers you want to review you. Reviewers have so many
plays to see, so they often give priority to shows that have placed ads in their papers.

Give at least four weeks notice of an upcoming show. Then send polite reminders.

Write a succinct press release and FAX it ahead of any calls or e-mails.

Adhere to proper e-mail etiquette, which is:
o Subject heading that doesn’t look like spam
o Dear _________, (first name is fine; no need for Ma’am or Sir)
o An introductory paragraph with name of company, venue, and play
o A body paragraph with additional key info
o Contact info
o “Thank you for your time and I hope to see you there…”
o NO typos

Create a press packet that includes: high-quality, high-interest, reproducible photos; actor bio; a
brief history of the venue; a brief history of the theater company; a brief history of the show, etc.
Be thorough but not too wordy. Be succinct, likeable and professional.

Reserve the best seats for reviewers.

Tell the reviewers in advance where they should park.

Tell the reviewers in advance if there is a reception afterward.

Make the programs or playbills easy to read; don’t make the reviewers have to fish for info.

Make sure the venue is clean, well-prepared, well-organized and inviting.

Have someone greet the reviewers by name upon arrival and show them personally to their seats.

After the show, greet the reviewers directly yourself and be gracious. No matter what they say,
don’t be defensive and don’t argue.

Never ask a reviewer after a show “What did you think?” “Did you like it?” If they want you to
know, they will tell you.
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INTERVIEW WITH A REVIEWER: PAT TAYLOR
Pat Taylor has been a columnist with The Tolucan Times, which is a Valley newspaper, for over ten years.
During her tenure at The Tolucan, Pat has seen at least two shows per week, every week, and she has met,
become friends with and reviewed everybody. While The Tolucan may be a smaller paper than, say, the
LA Times, its impact on the local arts scene is anything but small.
During a sit-down chat, this is what Pat had to say about Los Angeles-area theater:
AK: What draws you to the theater?
PT: The realization that one can visit lifestyles, time periods, interpersonal situations, historical events
and performance styles they may never experience without the art of live, staged productions. And the
element of risk. Like the nursery rhyme Little Miss Muffet: “When it is good it is very, very good, and
when it’s bad it’s horrid!”
AK: What do you hope for when you go to the theater?
PT: I hope for a glimmer of something new or funny or touching or life-expanding that in some way, be it
even minor, broadens my horizons or viewpoint and entertains at the same time. I am thrilled when an
especially compelling actor weaves magic, and I will make it a point to follow their future work and their
progress.
AK: If you had to choose five plays that stand out as the best that you have ever seen, what would they
be?
PT: Equus. A great script and a terrific vehicle for actors. I have never seen a bad production of this play,
and I’ve seen at least six different versions; A Streetcar Named Desire for the same reasons; Dorian: The
Musical at the NoHo Arts Center. I’ve seen it several times; Master Class at The Fountain and Pepper
Street at Gene Bua’s Acting for Life Theatre. That show was remarkable and ran for five years.
AK: We both know that no one sets out to make a “bad” play, but what ultimately makes a bad play?
PT: It takes many elements combined to make a good or bad play. Maybe the script stinks but the actors
or the direction is wonderful. Maybe the script is great, but those enacting it aren’t skilled enough to do it
justice. To make a good play all the elements have to mix together and then be accompanied by that secret
something we call magic.
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AK: What role does publicity play in a play’s success?
PT: A huge role! If no one knows you’re doing the play, no one’s going to see it. During a typical sixweek run, word of mouth doesn’t spread quickly enough to help much. A six week run is too short a time
for the snowball effect of positive opinions to benefit even a good play. I hate it when there are only a few
audience members around me. I feel awful for the actors. Many theaters fear that they can’t afford a
publicist; this is penny-wise and pound-foolish. If your theater is close to full each night, rather than half
full, because someone did publicity before you opened, then you’ve more than covered the cost of the
publicist. And you’ve allowed your cast a rewarding, rather than demoralizing, performance experience.
AK: What do you think of one-person shows?
PT: 75% of the time they bore me to tears after fifteen minutes. When one is BRILLIANT it is a magical,
intimate experience that lingers in my mind for ages. But that is RARE. A few years back, Lynn Adams’
Two Faced (it ran for years in many locations around the US) and Anthony Geary’s Human Scratchings
(at the Court Theater) come to mind as unforgettably inspiring. I saw each one three times. Also Karyl
Lynn Burns as Shirley Valentine at Ventura’s Laurel Theater nailed it. She had the audience mesmerized
for two hours.
AK: What makes a one person show positively memorable?
PT: An interesting and unique story to tell. Perhaps well-defined and varied characters to offer differing
points of view. With regard to autobiographical shows: the sharing of a personal story, the re-living it
while making the audience laugh, cry, ponder, learn, feel etc. Any combination of emotions that puts us
on the edge of our seats and that invites us along on the actor’s journey. These things all make a show
memorable.
AK: What makes a one person show disappointing?
PT: Too many one-person shows are written and performed by people who may not be able to write or act
or who think that their life is more interesting or unique than it really is. That is boring. Also, if you’re
going to portray multiple characters, you must give them distinct personalities. There must be different
mannerisms, rhythms, accents…
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AK: If you were to put on a one-person show, what would you write or talk about?
PT: I would write from the heart about something I know and feel deeply. I would offer a message of
hope. I would try to enlighten, amuse, provoke, educate and entertain.
AK: What role do reviews play in the presentation of plays?
PT: That depends on the publication. Some have more weight than others. And, as well, some reviewers
carry more clout than others. Many have loyal readers. Obviously, a scathing review by any reviewer
hurts attendance, and a rave review helps to create a buzz and fill seats.
AK: What do you find most enjoyable about reviewing?
PT: I truly love theater. I love being around people who have the guts, talent and dedication to follow
their dreams. I am honored to be a witness to it, and I fully enjoy the chance to spread the word – to help
gain exposure to good theater. Although I try to be completely honest, I try to never be cruel. I feel that
even in the worst of plays, someone or something involved deserves a word of praise. I try to focus on the
positive aspects before the other, more painful ones. I get deeply upset when my only option is to write a
bad review. But sometimes there is no choice.
AK: If you were to give advice to actors putting on their own one-person shows, what would it be?
PT: Ask yourself whether or not your story would hold your interest for eighty or so minutes; choose an
interesting subject; say something we may not have ever heard or considered before and present your
characters with definition. Also, interject humor wherever possible.
AK: Anything else?
PT: OK, all you creative geniuses out there, turn off that TV, and write!
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INTERVIEW WITH A REVIEWER: TRAVIS MICHAEL HOLDER
Travis Michael Holder is a reviewer and an award-winning playwright and performer. He has written
reviews for Backstage West, Entertainment Today and other publications; he has written numerous plays,
one of which, Surprise, Surprise, is currently being made into a film; and he has performed for packed
houses and rhapsodic reviews from LA to Broadway. This is what Travis had to say about solo shows:
AK: When someone says, “Hey, let’s go to a one-person show,” what is your reaction?”
TMH: As a reviewer and an audience member with a lot of choices to choose from in LA, I am often
reluctant to attend one-person shows, especially when there are so many other less risky shows out there
to provide an evening out at the theatre.
The problem for me is that solo shows are such a roll of the dice. If it's a GREAT show, I'm relieved and
thrilled and UPLIFTED and PLEASED to experience the journey, but if it's not, I'm nothing but a captive
audience -- maybe captive of one person's monumental ego trip.
If you're seeing an ensemble play and one or two actors aren't as proficient as the others, you have the
chance to appreciate the rest. At a one-person show if the person performing isn't up to the task as a
performer... or a writer... or is so full of him or her self that he or she thinks that their personal story is far
more interesting or compelling than it is to me, I want to run for the exit.
One thing that always makes me cringe is when someone's story is filled with examples of how
courageous or strong the author-performer has been in their life. If someone has lived through, say, the
death of a parent with whom he or she has never shared a close relationship, it's far more interesting to
listen to the person admit to occasionally thinking It'll be wonderful when it's all over rather than to hear
the person say -- with quivering eyebrows -- how traumatized or brave they'd been while getting through
the crisis.
AK: So, self-effacement, humor, irony and even a touch of sinfulness are far more interesting than, say,
self-righteous bragging?
TMH: Absolutely.
AK: Well, then you might want to steer clear of my performance text at the end of my book
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SCRIPT WITH COMMENTARY
Into the Belly
by Andrea Kittelson
January, 2005
Actress is in a wig, spike heels and bright colors. She drinks Lemon Drops throughout the show and
performs in front of ten looping slides, which are photos of family, Christmas, Egypt and more.
Thank you all for coming to my birthday party here on the Queen Hollywood. We will be departing from
the dock in approximately two…oops, Poop! There we go. I hope everyone’s on board.
Our captain is John Catanzarro. He’ll be taking us around the bay for a quicky. Then he’ll bring us gently
back to shore. Our cruise director is Lisa. Wave hello to Lisa.
Now let’s discuss safety procedures. As you’ll notice there are only two preservers. Raise your hand if
you can swim. Good. The rest of you, drink up.
So, it’s my birthday. One of many, many birthdays. My surgeon would want me to tell you specifically
how many birthdays, he’s very proud of his work, but he’s not here, he’s in court. An unfortunate mishap
with a nipple. But I really think that particular patient brought it on herself. She was, well, very
complicated in the nipple area. Anyhootle, let’s get back to business. I’ve known most of you for at least
thirty years, back since, oh, gosh, I don’t know if I can say, but, Pat, what an adventure it’s been, huh?
I wanted to celebrate my birthday by sharing some stories about my life, not because my life is so darned
interesting, but because it helps to jar my memory. The noodle goes as you approach my age, which will
remain unspecified, and it’s important to show yourself home movies once in a while to remind yourself
of where ya been and who ya are and that you are still kickin.’ (Kick)
Help an old lady, would ya, would you mind getting me a Lemon Drop? Everybody, wave hello to Steve,
the bartender. His name is Brandon, but I like to call him Steve.
The doctor says that Lemon Drops are good for my hip. I threw it out walking up Machu Picchu in …
uffda, it must have been in 2010. I was too young for hip issues then, technically; I was only 45, but all
the action these darned hips got the first five years following my boob job, boy I could tell you stories.
Speaking of which, I would like to say that the themes of this evening and the reason for the title Into the
Belly – in case you’re concerned about these kinds of things, you know in case you are a reviewer, a
professor, a school teacher, or someone with obsessive compulsive disorder – for you, the “themes” of
this evening are “family” and “fear.” What are the themes? (Audience responds).
Oh, goody. Because we all come from the belly of our mothers and we all return to the belly of the Great
Mother, if you believe that kind of hooey, and we all spend every day of our lives, if we are lucky,
venturing into the belly of the beast, which to me is facing fears head on. (Physical action that hurts).
Where’s that Lemon Drop?
So, how do family and fear go together? Well, I do believe that your family provides you with your selfesteem. You might want to take notes. They tell you who you are and what you are capable of. Your
family gives you a lens through which to see the world. And everything that doesn’t fit into what your
family says is possible is unknown territory and is to be feared.
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Now, at any point in this discussion about family and fear, if you have any disagreements with anything
that I say, please feel free to keep them to yourselves and have another drink.
So, back to family. In a nutshell mine was nuts. Now, I know that’s nothing new. Everybody says their
family is nuts. But here’s proof: (Pull out stuffed animal with a chain around its neck).
One day when I was, oh, twelve or so, I came home from school, entered my bedroom, or budoir as my
mother called it, and noticed that all thirty-three – I remember that number because that’s the number of
years it takes to make a great Balblair single malt whiskey. Isn’t it? Keep it to yourself . All thirty-three
stuffed animals were hanging from the ceiling with chains around their necks. In my mother’s defense,
some of the corpses did have ribbons, but nonetheless, my ceiling was sprinkled with the bodies of all of
my beloved animal friends. And some of them were life-sized.
When I saw the horror, I ran out screaming, “Mom! Mom! What the hell happened in there?!” You saw
the picture of my mom right? The one with the wig and the drink? Good. Well, I yelled, “Mom, Mom!
What the heck happened in there?! This is crazy! Take them down!” to which she responded, “But it’s all
the rage.”
Notice the use of the word “rage.”
See, my mom was a decorator. Or at least that’s what she called it.
I said, “I don’t care if it’s all the rage, it’s sick and twisted and I have to sleep in there.” She said, “Well,
when you’re old enough to have your own house, you can decorate it anyway you choose. But this is my
house, and I have a theme, and it all has to work together…” Ahh, “theme.” No wonder why I am so
flippant about themes.
So, I had to live like that, with animals hanging from my ceiling with chains around their necks, and, to be
fair, ribbons, for what felt like a life sentence. I would entertain myself at night by making shadows on the
wall with a flashlight. (I demonstrate). I would talk to them and apologize. I would sing them songs. “You
are my sunshine…” and “She’ll be comin’ ‘round the mountain when she comes…neigh, phhh!” And in
the morning I would quickly get up and run to school where it was safe. Where the “rage” was kept to a
minimum.
And the day the animals came down? I’m a bit fuzzy on that.
Now, for those of you who are just a little creeped out by the hanging animal story and are now
questioning why you are my friend, and maybe even trying to remember back to how we first met or to
when you first realized that I was indeed “a bit off,” well, there’s more.
My mom, the decorator, married an embezzler. A conman. He was, for the most part, your typical
conman. Nothing too unusual. He had a drinking problem, multiple families and a dog that he talked to
when he was drunk. But, he was a bit peculiar in at least one way. He had this penchant for making
pancakes in the shapes of animals while in his underwear. Usually this one particular pair of underwear
that had little devils on them. His naked Johnnie Walker belly would hang over his devil drawers, and he
would speak in rhyme, “Old man from Burning Stump went up the hill to take a dump…” and “She was
only a candy man’s daughter…” And he would tell jokes he learned in the Navy, “Two elephants walk
into a strip joint…” Ahh, the animal theme again. No wonder why I am so leery of animals.
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I spent most of my life, until recently, quite frightened of animals, namely pets, for yet another reason.
My mom would always talk to the dog completely differently than she would talk to any of us. Has that
ever happened to you? Keep it to yourself. She would say, “Oh, come here my little
doggie…sweetheart…love of my life…want a cookie?” And then refer to the dog in the third person.
Notice the use of the word “person.”
My mom would say things to me like, “Dusty wants you to say hello. Dusty wants to know why you
won’t say hello. Are you mad at Dusty?” I would think, No, I’m not mad, I just don’t… “Okay,
fine…come here my little Dusty.” Later she would even put Dusty’s paw prints on my Christmas cards.
Before Dusty, there were others. Two of them, Coffee and Yogi. What were their names? (Audience
responds. Throw them a treat.) Very good. They both had such poor rectal problems that the floor was
carpeted wall to wall with newspapers…that were covered with poop. We would have to step around the
poop heap. Talk about a theme. The newspaper-shit theme definitely was “all the rage.”
It was so embarrassing. I could never have friends over. I would have to say, “Okay, just ignore the drunk
in his underwear and walk around the poop and you’ll be OK.”
Whoa, did you feel that? Lisa, honey, would you get my “Dramamine.” That’s our code word for Vicodin.
And please feel free to have our cruise director Lisa answer any and all of your questions…at any
point…after the cruise. Keep it to yourself. Follow directions and we will all make it safely to shore.
Well, most of us anyway.
(If someone tries to leave) Excuse me, Sir. You can’t leave. We’re at sea. Man overboard! Man
overboard! (Blow whistle).
My mom loved her pets so much that she even made her kids’ names rhyme with the dogs’ names. I was
Andrea Kay, my sister was Robin Rae and the dog was Café au lait.
Now, my mom wasn’t the only one who spoke to her dog like a lover.
My step dad, the belly-wearing embezzler, had his canine confidante, you saw his picture, right? The
shirtless man dancing with the steak? That picture was taken pre-belly…
Anybutton, every night after dinner, well, after what was left of dinner – Bill would usually throw most of
the dinner at the ceiling: “Where the hell’d’ya get these beans, Minnesota Rubber Company?” (Throw). In
fact, on the day we moved out of that house, I noticed there were still green beans and mashed potatoes
with cheese stuck up there in the corner. Ahh, hanging veggies. Also “all the rage.”
So, every night after dinner, Bill would sit at the table with a bottle of Johnnie and perform monologues
for his confidante, a yellowish mutt with human eyes named Yogi. Yogi would sit by Bill’s side patiently
for hours listening to rants like, “I’m the only one who knows a goddamn thing. I should run the joint. All
the other morons are pansies who don’t know shit. I’m the only one who knows shit!” I would watch the
scene from the hallway. The lights would usually be off, either because they had been turned off by the
electric company or because Bill had thrown them out. So, it was dark, and all I could see were their
silhouettes. Two comrades on the shore sharing war stories over a drink and a smoke. I was actually
envious of their bond.
I have thought over the years about that bond shared by Bill and Yogi, and as I have grown closer to
(whisper) death, I have reevaluated my stance on pets.
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I have stopped thinking of them as fashion accessories or extensions of the ego and have thought of them
instead as loving friends that can help open up parts of myself that might otherwise go untouched. Now,
don’t get naughty, I mean my heart. If I am at all worthy of leading a discussion on overcoming fears,
then I am nothing but a hypocrite if I don’t face my own fear of pets. My fear of what? (Audience
responds. Throw them a treat). Good.
So, how did I overcome my fear of pets? Flashback to Egypt, 2,024-ish. Yes, it was right before my
sixtieth. It was Christmas day. See, I prefer to travel at the holidays because seeing how other cultures
celebrate Christmas is so much more rewarding than smelling the stink of too much drink on relatives
who are mean.
In Cairo, on Chrismas Day, my friend Karen and I were at the fish market. We stood there facing a
merchant. A young boy about seven walked up. He had a bird on his shoulder. A funny looking bird. One
of those birds with a big spot on his…and a pouch…and a tail. Then an older boy came up and stole the
plastic sack right out of the seven year-old boy’s hand. They were still making sacks from plastic back
then. So the bird followed the thief and pecked him in the head ‘til he let go of the sack. Then the bird
carried the sack back to the seven year-old boy and plopped right back onto his shoulder. Now that’s quite
amazing. I figure that any pet who can carry my bags and peck a man to death, now that’s a pet worth
having.
About a year or so after the Egypt trip, when my friend Lisa and I acquired this boat, we got with it a
whole bunch of birds. Not birds that we put in cages and assign names, but birds we enjoy nonetheless.
Birds we call, as much as anyone can, ours. They stop on by when they feel like it, and we have a snack
and maybe a chat. We haven’t needed their pecking services to date, but we keep our eyes open.
I’ll admit it. I grew to like animals. I changed. And change doesn’t come easy. We fight it tooth and nail.
But without it we wouldn’t heal. That fishhook that gets caught in your thumb would never ease its way
out.
And without change we wouldn’t make new friends. Friends. Nothing to be feared there. The nine friends
who lent me money when I wanted to buy a house - the house I sold for twice the price so I could move to
LA and pursue my art. The friends who changed my drainage tubes when I had that goiter. The numerous
friends who are here right now.
Friends assist you. They build you. They nurture you. They become you. All the negative messages you
get unwittingly from your parents are subverted by friends who actually enjoy your company, who laugh
at your jokes – most of them anyway – and who think you are, well, not half bad. But I’ll talk more about
friends a little bit later.
I think now we should discuss escape procedures. Raise your hand if you know how to work a schnitzklamp? Oh, really, the kind with wheels? OK, how about a fooz-dwelter? Well, gee, this puts us in an
awful pickle. Lisa, honey, did you remember to…Oh, horsefeathers! Well, let’s just hope for the best.
(Cross fingers).
All right then, let’s move on to physical pain, shall we? Have you ever felt that you were
chosen…picked…by God to endure…things?
Oh, fudge. You know what? Let’s practice the drill, shall we? OK, everyone please stand up. Don’t be
afraid. A little audience participation never killed anybody. Well, one guy, but he had it coming. So,
everybody stand up and (Teach the audience a Russian-esque toast: “Look to the dyeva, look to the prava,
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lift the vadá and say Chokmatza” and give them simple dance moves and tell them that whenever I say
‘Hit the deck!’ they have to do the drill).
Look to the dyeva, look to the prava, lift the vadá and say “Chokmatza.”
Look to the dyeva, look to the prava, lift the vadá and say “Chokmatza.”
OK, that’s yours. Mine is a bit fancy. (I do a fancy Russian jig with spike heels and drink in hand).
Good job. It looks like most of you will survive. Well I will anyway. (Sip of drink).
So, back to pain. Some people attract it. I don’t mean to brag, but that just might be my dilemma. Crazy
tortures just come my way. They stick to me, like pickle stains to dentures.
Back when I was a graduate student, I utilized the services of a student-run dental clinic. Close your eyes
and imagine if you will a hundred clean-cut hopefuls running around like squirrels with drills. Not a
pretty picture. A root canal back then at the student clinic cost about fifty bucks but each one took twelve
or thirteen sessions. Each session took about six or seven hours. They would grind and grind and
grind…my mouth would be clamped open, and they would grind and grind and grind. And the student
dentists would talk to each other about their hangovers and student loans. Their nonchalance would hang
in the air like, well, nonchalance. I would lie there wondering “Why me, God? Why me?”
After my fourth root canal in that place, I surrendered to the thought that maybe I was chosen by God to
endure torture because I am somehow, I don’t know, special? Or maybe, in another life, I was an evil
dictator who ate children. But then a thought struck me like a tomato strikes a wall. I can choose to go
somewhere else. I wasn’t chosen by God to suffer. I’m just a masochist. So, I had my fifth root canal at a
private office. It took one hour, and afterward the doctor gave me orange juice and a free toothbrush. I
thought I was in heaven. Sure, I had to sell my collection of Balblair single malt whiskeys to afford it, but
boy, was it worth it.
So, what does pain have to do with fear? I’ll let you decide, I’m too pooped to make it all fit together
neatly.
Lisa, how we doing on that Vicodin?
See, I actually have to take the pain meds for a reason. I hit my head on the lido deck and woke up with
my mother’s accent. The pain meds aren’t for the head conk, but to get me through each day with this
Minnesota accent…don’t ya know.
Now, since we’re talking about fear this evening, let’s turn to the subject to Christmas.
Well, first, let’s practice the drill. Then we can up the percentage of survivors.
Ready? Hit the deck!
RUSSIAN DRILL – REPEAT AS NEEDED.
Excellent! Now, back to the subject of bossiness, I mean overcoming fear. The following fear is not one
that I necessarily overcame, but one that I have successfully sidestepped.
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Some people have a fear of clowns; I have a fear of Christmas. It started when I was eleven. The night
before Christmas Eve. My stepfather, remember the man asleep with the doll? Well, he was drunk and
talking to the dog when my mother decided to engage him in a discussion about why the utility bill had
not been paid. She told him they were threatening to turn off the lights. You know, considering Bill had
embezzled so successfully every penny his friend Vladimir the Russian immigrant had, we should have
had enough to pay the light bill.
Well, wrong time to bring up the lights or Vladimir. Bill snapped like a twig and threatened to cancel
Christmas. In fact, he did cancel Christmas. He took the tree with its lights and ornaments and flock and
star and threw it in one big sweep down the stairs and into the foyer. He followed the tree with all four
dining room chairs, breaking the mirrored wall along the way. Now, it’s one thing to steal money from an
immigrant or to throw beans at the ceiling, but it’s quite another to desecrate the symbol of Christmas.
Christmas had, until that moment, been the only time of the year I was truly happy to be me. The only day
I could live peacefully with my family inside my own house. The one day that my family was not only
normal, but better than normal. We always had a beautiful holiday display with presents and a fireplace
and background music…And throwing all that down the stairs, the breaking of everything Christmassy,
well, that was the end of Christmas for me. Forever…but that’s OK. Like I said, I prefer to travel.
(If someone leaves, “Man overboard!” and blow whistle).
I tell this story, not so you’ll feel sorry for me. Heavens to Betsy, no. In fact, I am proud of all the ways
that I have overcome the events of my tricky childhood, and so much has happened since, but I bring this
up so that we can examine for a moment the notion of living on a daily basis with fear. Living in a house
where danger is ever-present. Where bleach is stored in the refrigerator and kitchen knives hang like
warnings.
It’s not just the people who live outside under the billboard lights who live in fear. In fact some people
might prefer to sleep outside under the watchful eyes of strangers than in homes of their own making. I’m
talking about the many people who live inside surrounded by soft pillows and fireplaces and electricity
and pancakes. Many of those people fear for their lives each and every day.
Take for example a woman who was a passenger in my taxi back when I drove for Yellow Cab of San
Francisco. It was winter, 1999, right before the change of the millennium. I picked her up in the Western
Addition. She was going to the Amtrak station in Emeryville so she could take the train to Sacramento
because she had no car and was afraid to fly. “Deathly afraid to fly,” she said.
She was going to Sacramento to spend the holidays with her fiancé’s family. Her fiancé was going to
follow in a few days. She said that she wanted to go ahead of him and “make nice.” She was eager to
make a solid impression on his mother.
Through the course of our conversation, as we inched down Market Street, she asked me if the makeup
she was wearing was too much. If it was too “pancakey.” She was trying to cover the bruise she had
gotten the night before from a scuffle she had had with a mop. She had a run-in with the mop because she
was always so clutzy, she said. Clutzy and silly and dumb. Well, as we talked some more, she let it slip.
She said, “The last time he did this.” Now, I had already suspected that she was lying about the mop, but
now it was out. Should I say something, I wondered? I decided to just keep listening. They teach you that
in taxi school. A skill I have since forgotten. Keep it to yourself. After she got out of my cab, I thought
how ironic and strange and frightfully sad that she is afraid to fly but not afraid to live with a man who
beats her.
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Speaking of living in the grip of someone who beats you…if anyone needs to get up and use the loo, well,
hold it until after this next story, which I guarantee will be uplifting. And, actually there isn’t really a loo,
per se, just lift your seat cushion. There’s a direct connection to the sea. Just make it number one. We
don’t want to attract sharks. We’ve had problems in the past.
And if you want to go number two, well then just use the newspapers on the poop deck.
Love. Let’s talk about love. Because what is the best antidote for fear if not love?
I first learned about love, true romantic love, in Miami. I was with a boyfriend whom I was very close to
marrying. We were at his mother’s house and had to sleep in his aged grandmother’s bed. It was one of
those hospital beds with bars on the side. It was maybe four feet wide. We had to sleep entwined in each
other’s arms. At first I resisted. I was itchy and sweaty and restless. I was used to having my space. But
then I forced myself to surrender to the experience.
I curled up in my lover’s arms, and every night he would whisper in my ear a debriefing of the day. He
would recap the day’s events. He would say, “I loved the way you spent time in the kitchen with my
granny asking about her life…” or “I loved the way you played school with my nephew…” or “I loved the
way the rain hit your lips when we were on the beach and you tasted it and you didn’t know anyone was
looking. Well, I was looking. I love you so much…”
Every night for a week, when we went to sleep in his granny’s bed, he would whisper loving somethings
in my ear, and I, for the first time in my life, felt treasured. And since that time I have held that feeling as
a goal to shoot for. I have known to not settle for anything less. I would rather go to sleep at night with
that memory than go to sleep next to a man who doesn’t love me.
And boy, let me tell you, once that bar was raised, there were some spectacular romances. But those are
stories for another time.
Which reminds me: let’s talk about sleeping arrangements. There are only six cabins and well, thirtysome of you. So we’re gonna have to double up or triple up or rotate. Hmmm, how should we do this?
Keep it to yourself. Maybe we’ll count off…raise your hand if you’d like to sleep with someone new!
All right then, Lisa will take psychic note of all your preferences.
Raise your hand if your system can tolerate the mixing of narcotics.
Raise your hand if you like pizza.
Hit the deck! (Do the drill again).
Let’s move on to Hollywood. Not the Queen Hollywood, this lovely party on the sea that Lisa and I have
owned since 2026…See, after we both lost our second husbands to an ironic fish accident in the BT,
that’s sailor talk for Bermuda Triangle, we have found refuge in each other’s company. We have this boat
and we get to travel and host cabaret night. Lisa has a wonderful singing voice. Perhaps you’ll get to hear
it later during the singing portion of the show.
But Hollywood, Los Angeles. I moved to Hollywood in the summer of 2004 to pursue my goal of being a
paid writer/performer. I especially wanted to sell screenplays. For bucket-loads of money. I had been a
public school teacher for ten years. And upon completion of that tenth year, I thought Jesus H. Christ,
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what kind of example am I to children if I don’t take full advantage of my own proclivities? If I don’t
become fully me, then how can I expect any of these students to become fully themselves? (Brush it off
and take a sip).
So, on the night of my final drive to Los Angeles – my car loaded with the rest of my crap – after I went
over the Grapevine and began my descent into the lights, I said aloud, “I am driving into the belly of the
beast.” To me, seeing if I could make it “in the business” was facing an enormous fear. I was often
discouraged as a child from pursuing my artistic yearnings, so as an adult I felt it my obligation. “It’s
never too late to try,” I told myself. On the drive down to LA, I got 43 miles to the gallon. 43 miles to the
gallon. I was certain of it because I double-checked my math. I was a math teacher, after all. So, 43 miles
to the gallon! Heavens to Betsy. I was sure, then, that God or the Great Mother, or whatever power
mightier than me, had wanted me to move to LA. God was pushing me like a four year-old pushes a
Tonka truck.
Now, it helps when you are facing fears to have that kind of assistance.
So, I arrived in Hollywood and took classes and wrote and performed and sold scripts. Eventually I
directed a feature that I wrote. It was a story about a woman who adopts a 12 year-old girl. A movie
called “One Story.” You remember that movie, right? Keep it to yourself. Man overboard! Well, this
woman and this girl, see on the surface their lives are very different. They are from two different social
classes and two different ethnicities. They walk around the neighborhood every night after dinner and tell
each other stories about their lives. They get to know each other, and as their individual stories progress,
as their stories involve the adoption process and other mutual experiences, their stories merge and become
one story.
Well I directed this movie, and the most difficult part was letting go. You spend so much time writing the
script and getting to know and love the characters, that to let the characters go into the actors’
imaginations and come out differently than you envisioned, well that’s as hard as bone.
I imagine it’s like letting go of your children. They grow and become something other than what you
planned. I never had children, only characters, and they might be just as difficult to give up. Even when
you’re getting paid an arm and a leg.
Through my work on that movie, I met a man who taught drama part-time to prisoners. He got me in
touch with the rehab director at Valley Sate Prison in Chowchilla. I then started to work with women
inmates. I actually taught them how to put on their own one-woman shows. Yes, I did. The first thing I
taught them: perform in a bar. If the audience is drunk they’ll like you more. Second thing: make ‘em
squirm. Pretend the theater is a sinking ship and that they’re all gonna die. That way they’ll look to you to
save them.
In that class there were some amazing women with tremendous stories of survival. One woman in
particular…
WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE. HIT THE DECK! (Russian jig/drill again).
Back to prisoners: people trapped. People who mess up and pay for it by sitting in a bar watching an
autobiographical one woman show. No matter what someone did, is it just reward to…?(Take sip of
drink. Then start to throw them a treat but change your mind).
Hmmm. Eh.
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I don’t know much about one woman shows, but I do know about feeling trapped.
When I was fifteen, right after my stepfather went out for a bottle of Johnnie and never returned, my Mom
intensified her thirst for rage. Maybe she was shocked that a man so cruel and unusual would leave her.
The ultimate insult, I guess. She became so unraveled that she started having exaggerated responses to
things. Simple things became punishable crimes. Like putting Parmesan cheese on potatoes when
everybody knows it goes on spaghetti. Or plugging the hairdryer into the socket by the door instead of the
one by the mirror.
But her greatest display of rage came on the day of the Homecoming dance. It was my first dance. I had
my hair professionally done and bought a lovely dress the color of plums. I was excited and pretty, and
my mom said the unthinkable. I won’t trouble you with the exact wording; it’s not necessary. I’ll keep it
to myself. But imagine a collection of words arranged in such an order as to trigger a swirl of hurt so vast.
It was an avalanche of words so telling and so vile that I moved out the very next day.
See, I would rather go to sleep at night with the imagination of a mother’s love than sleep in a house with
a woman who doesn’t love me.
That’s where friends come in. For the first year following my breakaway, my walk from Eden, I floated
on the generosity of seven different friends. I slept on their couches and ate dinner at their tables. I rested
on their hearts until I could get my own apartment. Once in my own place, those same friends would
bring me bags of groceries. One particular friend brought me a hundred hamburger patties from her dad’s
freezer. There was so much compassion and hope in those hamburgers. Even though I was a vegetarian I
ate each one with immense relish. I would fry it up with onions and steam some broccoli and listen to
Johnny Cash’s Boy Named Sue.
The vulnerability I felt during those high school years is evoked to this day when I hear author and good
friend Alice Walker say, “My heart has been broken so many times it has broken open. It is so open I feel
the wind blow through it.”
On the theme of friends, one friend in particular who has been a model for me and has helped to whittle
away my defenses is Ramesh. He hails from India. He has been married for over sixty years to the very
woman his parents assigned to him at birth. He has worked at the same San Francisco photocopy shop for
over forty years. He just can’t retire. He has grown so attached to the neighbors and to service and to
feeling useful, that even after he sold the shop, he stayed on and made copies.
He was my landlord for a spell. When I had a terrible leak that rendered much of the space unlivable I
went downstairs all mad and defensive and afraid that he would try to pull one over on me. I demanded
that he reduce my rent. He looked at me with such serenity and said, “Please pay whatever you wish.” He
was so unconcerned with material things. In fact he ended up selling the building for close to $200,000
less than what it was worth. He sold it to nuns, who to this day, thirty-some odd years later, still work
with the homeless and disenfranchised in the SF Tenderloin.
I mention Ramesh because his grace taught me to see the world differently. It’s not about what you can
get out of other people but what they draw out of you. That perspective has helped me face numerous
fears. Not head-on, but heart on. Ooooh…
Now friends weren’t the only ones who took me under their wing. My sister Robin, artist, mother, cook,
singer, fellow goofball, taught me how to read when I was three. She taught me my first Spanish words
when I was slightly older. She insisted that I learn stuff so that I would have a chance. She taught me that
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sanitary napkins were not to be used to wipe your lips at dinner; she showed me how to forge notes for
school; and she took me in when I was a houseless teen. During my junior year of high school she took
me in for two months. She was a sophomore in college at a party school in Madison, Wisconsin. At a time
when she should have been partying it up, not worrying about a runaway sibling, she took me in. We
would spend evenings on the roof of the Edgewater Hotel overlooking Lake Mendota singing, “La la la la
la la la…”we didn’t know all the words…”Dream a little dream of me…”and to this day we take each
other in, and when she comes to town we sing.
Friends and siblings can model for us ways to navigate the sea of life. How’s that for an on the nose
metaphor? And so can strangers. I saw on Oprah once, back when I had my goiter and was bedridden, a
woman who learned how to parent by watching women in the park. She herself was a recovering addict
and survivor of abuse, and after she gave birth she had no idea how to take care of her own child. So
every morning, or almost every morning, I mean who does anything every morning? (Take a sip). Some
mornings she would go to the playground, and she would find a mother who was particularly adept –
someone confident and sweet – and she would copy her. She would write down what the nice lady said to
her baby. She would take note of the ways the nice lady held her baby. She would draw pictures of what
the nice lady’s baby wore. That story struck a chord in me, because that is what I have spent my life
doing. Copying people who are normal. And clearly I have succeeded.
This brings me ultimately to forgiveness. One of the most feared undertakings. Forgiving myself for not
being the perfect teacher, writer, performer, friend, and me forgiving others for not being perfect either.
The hardest person to forgive is no longer here. My mother is but a memory in the way I tilt my head, in
the way I hold my drink, in my laugh, in my bossiness and absurd decorating sense. She is so much in me
that if I allowed myself to like her more, I would like myself too much. One thing that moving to
Hollywood did, though, was push open that door toward forgiveness. I could no longer be mad at my
mother for squelching my dreams as a child. I was taking matters into my own hands and pursuing my
talents on my own. Like a phoenix who is borne of his own flesh. And pursuing my desires without my
mother’s direct help made me that much more proud when I did make it. When I sold that first movie
script, I was on top of the world.
And that forgiveness grew. My last interaction with my mother was like this: she was at Fairview
Southdale Hospital in Minneapolis and was deep in the grip of Demerol. She had difficulty breathing. She
stared up at the ceiling and swore that she saw ghosts. She said that people were just hanging around
watching her every move and she worried that they were up to something. I gave her a flashlight and told
her they were angels. Then I lay on the narrow hospital bed with bars on the sides and took my mother in
my arms. I debriefed our lives. I said, “I loved the way you made up logic problems for me to do at the
table on weekends. I loved the way you made chicken soup and tuna sandwiches for lunch when I was in
kindergarten and we would eat while watching All My Children. I loved the way you pretended to be a
typewriter during that one particular game of Charades…you were so free and unafraid to look silly. I
loved the way you….” Then she slipped away before I could say, “I love you so much.”
Forgiveness comes more easily when you have made an effort to make your own life workable despite
everything. Resentment flies right out the window like a bird.
Now, I’d like to end on an up note. Remember, I did say the captain would bring us gently back to shore.
I’d like to tell the story of how Lisa and I bought this very boat the Queen Hollywood. It’s a quicky. We
were having lunch one day in Del Mar, north of San Diego. We were drinking Margaritas on the rocks
with salt. A wrinkled man with no hair on his head but plenty on his back offered us a sailing tour of the
Bay. We agreed. We were retired and widowed, after all.
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Well, as we tooled around the water, Vladimir told us about his family. He told us of his father Vladimir
who emigrated from Moscow to Minneapolis and got ripped off by a man named Bill. He told us of his
own desire to pursue his dream of being a painter. All he needed was a little seed money. Needless to say,
I felt obligated to help him out. He offered us a terrific price, and we offered to keep up the safety drills
his father taught him. They aren’t really for safety as much as they are for ritual and to pay homage to the
voyage of the sailor.
So, thank you for joining me on my 70th birthday. I can say it now. Seventy. The big SEVEN O. What
kind of person am I if I can’t face the declaration of my age? How old am I? (Audience responds. Dig into
my goodie bag and instead of a treat, pull out confetti or better yet a bird).
The number doesn’t just carry information about the number of days that I have spent on earth, but it
carries with it markers for the memories that have shaped who I am. The experiences I have had away
from the belly.
I’d like to thank Captain Joe for bringing us safely, albeit dramatically, back to shore. I’d also like to
thank Steve, I mean Brandon, the bartender. And, of course, I’d like to thank Lisa for her undying
enthusiasm for the sea.
Now, what cruise ship party could end without a sing-along. Please find on your programs the words to
the song of the evening, and please sing along at the top of your talent. That is if you can sing. Otherwise
keep it to yourself. Ready? (To the tune of Dream a Little Dream of Me) La la la la la la la…..la la la la la
la la la la la….la la la la la la la la la…Dream a little dream of me.
THE END
Commentary on Into the Belly: While this piece is autobiographical and could potentially break my rule
of NOT writing overly self-indulgent and self-pitying autobiographical pieces, I dare say it is possibly an
exception to the rule for the following reasons:

It was performed for one night only on my 40th birthday, and you are allowed to be self-indulgent
on your birthday.

I didn’t charge the audience for the performance.

The piece is not limited to true stories from the past. It includes fictional stories from the future,
which adds levity and which allows the audience a certain amount of escape from reality.

The milieu is not a theater; it is a boat, which allows the audience to suspend disbelief and get out
of their heads.

My mask is not me at my current age, but is me in the future, which could be a relief for the
audience who might be sick of hearing me talk.

I transcend anger by speaking about people and experiences that are positive and moving to me.

There is humor and singing and drinking and audience participation.

I forgive my perpetrator(s) during the piece.
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
I make fun of my own flaws.

I compare myself to my perpetrator(s). In fact, I dress and look exactly like my perpetrator to
show how we all eventually become our perpetrators (our parents) whether we like it or not.

I use personal, theatrical and literary elements to make the piece more symbolic and less literal.
You might completely disagree with my analysis and find my piece to be as irritating as all get-out. That
is your option. The task at hand, then, is to write a show yourself that is as close to inspirational as
possible. Remember, the box is wide open and your only job is to fill it with YOU.
So:

Don’t be too critical.

Don’t expect too much of yourself the first/next time around; you learn from doing.

Don’t be wary of risks; you grow when you venture outside of your complacency zone.

Don’t be afraid to share your unique point of view. If you don’t, who will?

Be truthful.

Be brave.

Be innovative.

Be vulnerable.

Be ____________
To ignite a spark: Write an inspirational poem, quote or homily, either borrowed or original, OR draw
something evocative OR make a collage OR...
Andrea Kittelson © 2006
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LOS ANGELES AREA VENUES
You can approach established companies and ask to be a part of their season, or you can rent space to put
on your show. The latter has proven to be quite easy.
Here is a list of LA area venues (most from 35 – 99 seats) that may be amenable to renting space to
solo artists.
Hollywood and Vicinity
Matrix Theatre (323) 852-1445
Actors Gang (323) 465-0566
McAdden Place Theater (323) 463-2942
Art Works Theater (323) 871-1912
MET Theatre (323) 957-1741
Brick Box Theater (323) 461-7300
Meta Theater (323) 852-6963
Celebration Theater (323) 957-1884
Naughty Bits Playhouse (323) 628-4489
The Complex (323) 465-0383
Open Fist Theater Co. (323) 882-6912
Crossly Theatres (323) 462-8460
Pan Andreas Theatre (323) 962-6207
Elephant (323) 962-0046
Sample Theatre (323) 555-6789
Fountain Theater (323) 663-2235
Skylight Theatre (310) 855-1556
Globe Playhouse (323) 654-5623
Stella Adler Studio Theatre (323) 465-4446
Hayworth Theatre (323) 555-1212
Steve Allen (323) 666-9797
Hollywood Court Theater (323) 464-3018
Tamarind (323) 465-7980
Hollywood Fight Club Theater (323) 428-9734
Lounge Theatre (323) 469-9988
Howard Fine Theater (323) 962-3188
Underground Theatre (323) 467-0036
Hudson Backstage (323) 856-4249
Wordspace (323) 644-1500
Improv Olympic West (323) 962-7560
Write Act Rep. Theatre (323) 788-3305
King King (323) 960-5765
Zephyr Theatre (323) 653-4667
Lex Theater (323) 957-5782
Downtown and Vicinity
M Bar (323) 856-0036
Frida Kahlo Theatre (213) 382-8133
Masquers Cabaret (323) 653-4848
Stage 52 (323) 549-9026
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24th Street Theatre (213) 745-6516
NoHo Arts Center (818) 508-7103
West Side
Open Stage West (818) 789-8662
Century City Playhouse (310) 204-4440
Raven Playhouse (818) 509-9519
Court Theatre (310) 652-4035
Riprap Studio (818) 990-7498
Edgemar Center for the Arts (310) 399-3666
Ruskin Group Theater (310) 397-3244
Electric Lodge (310) 306-1854
Secret Rose Theatre (818) 766-3691
Gascon Center Theatre (310) 204-3126
Studio City Theater (818) 760-0060
Hudson Mainstage Theater (323) 856-4249
Third Stage (818) 842-4755
Malibu Stage Co. (310) 589-1998
Two Roads Theatre (818) 623-0040
Odessy Theatre (310) 477-2055
Ventura Court Theatre (818) 790-2905
Pico Playhouse (310) 204-4440
The Victory Theater (818) 841-5421
Powerhouse Theater (310) 396-3680
The Whitefire (818) 687-8559
Promenade Playhouse (310) 656-8070
Whitmore-Lindley Theatre Center
(818) 623-0040
Santa Monica Playhouse (310) 394-9779
Pasadena and Vicinity
Theatre 40 (310) 364-3606
All Saints Church (310) 559-9334
Theatre Palisades (310) 454-1970
Boston Court Theatre (626) 683-6883
Valley
Fremont Center Theatre (626) 441-5977
Actors Forum (818) 506-0600
Pasadena Playhouse (626) 792-8672
Actors Group (818) 761-4668
Orange County
Actors Workout Studio (818) 766-2171
The Chance Theater (714) 777-3033
Avery Schreiber Theatre (818) 623-0040
Ventura
Deaf West Theater (818) 762-2998
Laurel Theatre (805) 652-1300
El Portal Theatre (818) 508-0281
Group Repertory Theatre (818) 785-7717
Rubicon Theatre Co. (805) 667-2908
Interact Theater (818) 765-8732
For more detailed info and for regular updates, visit www.plays411.com
Andrea Kittelson © 2006
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LOS ANGELES AREA PUBLICISTS
Here are a few well-respected publicists in the Los Angeles area. Fees and availability may vary.
Hollywood and Vicinity
West Side
Davidson and Choy (323) 954-7510
1000 Watts Marketing and Publicity
Pam Levin (310) 200-4419
Kim Garfield & Co. (323) 965-1029
Judith Bourne (310) 305-7888
Integrity Publicity
Robert Axelrod & Sheryl Mandel
(213) 483-1449
in NYC: (718) 352-5976
Patty Onagan (310) 779-3333
Corner Desk Public Relations
Sandra Zeitzew (310) 394-9779 Ext. 651
Leigh McCleod Fortier and Sandra Kuker
(323) 960-7779
Valley
Astute Communications
Juliana Olinka (818) 773-1226
Wayne McWorter (323) 468-1743
Selfman & Others Public Relations
Flo Selfman (323) 653-4555
Demand PR
David Elzer (818) 508-6621
Theatre Planners: Production and Publicity
Racquel Lehrman (323) 273-1129
Brenda Marshall Theater Publicity
(818) 766-8735
Ken Worther Publicity and Management
(323) 845-9781
Steven Moyer Public Relations
(818) 784-7027
Plays411.com
Marketing/PR link
Lucy Pollak Public Relations
(818) 887-1499
LA and Ventura
Phil Sokoloff (626) 683-9205
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LOS ANGELES AREA RAGS AND REVIEWERS
LA Times: Charles McNulty, David C. Nichols, F. Kathleen Foley
Phone: (800) 528-9998
Submit Event Online: www.calendarlive.com
LA Weekly: Steven Leigh Morris, Steven Mikulan, Martin Hernandez
Phone: (323) 465-9909
Fax: (323) 465-0179 Attn: Steve Leigh Morris
LA Daily News: Evan Henerson
Phone: (818) 713-3629
E-mail: [email protected]
Variety.com: Phil Gallo
E-mail: [email protected]
Reviewplays.com: Jose Ruiz
FAX: (323) 344-9193
E-mail: [email protected]
Backstage West: Les Spindle
E-mail press releases to: [email protected]; Subject Heading: “Review Request”
The Hollywood Reporter: Jay Reiner, Laurence Vittes and others
Editorial fax: (323) 525-2377
Entertainment Today: Travis Michael Holder
Phone: (818) 566-4030
Tolucan Times and Canyon Crier: Pat Taylor
Phone: (818) 762-2171
Fax: (818) 980-1900
E-mail: [email protected]
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NoHo LA: Shirley Prince
Phone: (818) 769-8414
E-mail: [email protected]
Glendale News-Press: Joyce Rudolph (Features Editor)
E-mail: [email protected]
Santa Monica Daily Press: Nora Sorena Casey
Phone: (310) 458-7737
Fax: (310) 576-9913
The Daily Breeze: Jeff Favre, Jim Farber
Phone: (310) 540-5511 Ext. 375
Long Beach Beachcomber: Marchelle Hammack
Phone: (562) 597-8000
Fax: (562) 597-9410
The Orange County Register: Paul Hodgins
Phone: (714) 796-7979
E-mail: [email protected]
OC Weekly: Joel Beers
Phone: (714) 550-5900
Fax: (714) 550-5903
Ventura County Star: Rita Moran
Editorial Fax: (805) 650-2950
E-mail: [email protected]
Andrea Kittelson © 2006
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SOURCES
Much of the information that went into writing this book came from many places over several years, but
specific facts, figures, dates and names came also from these particular sources:
TEXTS:
Whiting, Frank. An Introduction to the Theatre. Fourth.
New York: Harper & Row, 1978.
Bond, Daniel. Stage Management: A Gentle Art. Second.
London: A & C Black, 1997.
WEBSITES:

Encyclopedia Britannica Online

laweekly.com

Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary (http://www.m-w.com)

Wikipedia

Brainyquote.com

http://home.earthlink.net/~bdenatale/AboutButoh.html

http://www.japan-guide.com/e/e2090.html

http://www.arts.gla.ac.uk/Slavonic/Absurd.htm

http://www.kirjasto.sci.fi/brecht.htm

http://xroads.virginia.edu/~MA02/easton/vaudeville/vaudevillemain.html

http://www.theatrehistory.com/british/restoration_drama_001.html

http://www.altx.com/manifestos/avant.pop.manifesto.html

American Cancer Society (http://www.cancer.org/docroot/STT/stt_0.asp)

National Institute of Justice (http://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/nij/210346.pdf )

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (http://www.ncadv.org/files/DV_Facts.pdf)

Plays411.com

www.eyespyla.com
Andrea Kittelson © 2006
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OTHER TEXTS ON THE SUBJECT
To see if there was a niche to fill, I bought and perused the following books on the same subject as mine.
Perhaps you will find them to be of additional help on your journey:
Alterman, Gene. Creating Your Own Monologue. First.
New York: Allworth Press, 1999.
Young, Jordan. Acting Solo. First.
Beverly Hills: Moonstone Press, 1989.
Merson, Susan. Your Name Here. First.
Nevada: Star Publish, 2004.
FAVORITE TEXTS
These three texts have been of particular and continued use and interest to me:
Bonney, Jo. Extreme Exposure: An Anthology of Solo Performance Texts from the
Twentieth Century. First. New York: Theatre Communications Group, Inc. 2000.
Rosenthal, Rachel, and Una Chaudhuri. Rachel's Brains and Other Storms. First.
London: Continuum, 2001.
Dillard, Annie. Pilgrim at Tinker Creek; An American Childhood; The Writing Life. First.
Camp Hill: Harper & Row; Book of the Month Club, 1990.
TEXTS POPULAR WITH WRITER/PERFORMERS
Here are a few “classics” that most people in contemporary theater and film will at some point reference:

Aristotle’s Poetics with an Introduction by Francis Fergusson

The Hero with a Thousand Faces by Joseph Campbell

The Power of Myth by Joseph Campbell and Bill Moyers

Screenplay: The Foundations of Screenwriting by Syd Field

Story by Robert McKee

Playwrights on Playwriting Edited by Toby Cole and with an Introduction by John Gassner
Andrea Kittelson © 2006
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RECOMMENDED SOLO ARTISTS
Some of these performers I have seen and some have been recommended to me.
Feel free to add to the list.
Brenda Wong Aioki
Elaine Stritch
Luis Alfaro
Julia Sweeney
Laurie Anderson
Lily Tomlin
Shirley Anderson
Tracey Ullman
Björk
Brenda Varda
Eric Bogosian
______________________
Phill Branch
______________________
Larry Cedar
______________________
Stacie Chaiken
______________________
Karen Finley
______________________
John Fleck
______________________
Anthony Geary
______________________
Guillermo Gómez-Peña
______________________
Mariette Hartley
______________________
Eddie Izzard
______________________
Rhodessa Jones
______________________
Paula Killen
______________________
Lisa Kron
______________________
John Leguizamo
______________________
Mike the Poet
______________________
John O’Keefe
______________________
Dael Orlandersmith
______________________
Rachel Rosenthal
______________________
Leslie Carrara-Rudolph
______________________
Lisa Sarrail
______________________
Danny Shorago
______________________
Martin Short
______________________
Anna Deveare Smith
______________________
Roger Gueneveur Smith
______________________
Andrea Kittelson © 2006
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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
I would like to thank the following friends and colleagues for their input and support regarding this
project: Johnna Adams, Frank Baldwin, Lesley Barr, Glenn Benest, Johan Garcia, Stephanie Stein-Garcia,
Mary Louise Gemmill, Travis Michael Holder, Lisa Armstrong Sarrail, Pat Taylor and Brenda Varda. I
would also like to thank my professors at San Francisco State University, without whose teachings I
would know absolutely nothing about the theater. Those professors are: Bill Peters, Mohammad Kowsar,
Yukihiro Goto, Roy Conboy, Larry Eilenberg, Jessica Litwak and the late Chris Hampton, Edwin Barlow
and Robert Graham.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Andrea Kittelson is a writer, teacher and performer living in Los Angeles, CA. Previously, Andrea lived
in San Francisco where she co-founded and ran a downtown theater company called Hyde and Turk
Performance Works. Andrea holds an MFA in Theater Performance from San Francisco State University.
This particular MFA program was an experimental conservatory program which integrated acting, writing
and directing and which encouraged the actor to be the primary creator of his or her work.
Andrea is available for workshops and private consultation. To learn more, visit her website:
www.HowToPutOnYourOwnOnePersonShow.com
Andrea Kittelson © 2006
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