1. No category

*qt*b*r 201tr
Vs*.'5S, No.2
Middle School
iglrlllxrFF
Keep your child
motivated in
school all year!
Do you know how to handle
your child's difficult behavior?
Fhart of earlv adolescence involves
Ftearring childhood behind and
separating from parents. Another
part involves answering questions
such as: \.Vho am I? \{/hat do I
believe? As your child goes through
this she may display some difficult
and defiant behavior, even if she has
never done so in the past.
For many middle school children,
this means talking back to parents.
Here are some guidelines for handling this behavior:
r Resist the urge to argue back.
Instead, showyour child who the
adult is. Practice calm kindness
in the face of her rudeness. For
example, say "You sound pretty
upset. I'm sorry to hear this. \44ren
you calm dor.tryt, I'll be happy to
help if I can."
.
.
Continue to setlimits. Some back
talk is developmental. But there
are some things you should never
tolerate, such as profanity directed
at you or another person. If this
happens, give your child a choice:
She may go to a quiet place to
think until she is ready to apologize. Or she may lose a privilege.
Enjoy the flip side of your child's
arguing, lVhen she is calm and
happy you can have great conversations. Your child's new ability
to argue actually reflects a growth
in her ability to reason. She can
now discuss things at a higher
level than she could in elementary
school.
Source:
D. Collins,
"What Should I Do with My Defiant
Middle-Schooler?" Great5chools, www.greatschools.org/
parentin g/behavior-discipline/1 280-defi ant-middle+chool-
It's too early in the
school year for your
middle schooler
to have a ho-hum
attitude about class!
Instead, he should be looking
forward to the months ahead.
You can help him do just that,
and keep him motivated, if you:
. Letyourself be "wowed." Do
you give offa "been there, done
that" vibe when your child tells
you about something he's learning in school? Stop!A fact or
idea may not be new to you, but
if it's new to your child, show
some enthusiasm. "Your science
teacher poured liquid nitrogen
on a flower and it froze? Iust like
that? How cool!"
. Celebrate small victories. Yes,
scoring 100 percent on a math
test is a reason for high-fives
all around. But so is a solid B
on a history project your child
worked hard on. Show him
that you notice the effort he's
putting in, and it may motivate
him to keep trying his best.
Only congratulating your child
forA's may squash his enthusiasm by causing him to think,
"Why bother trying at all if only
'perfect' matters?"
kids.gs.
Fractical ideasfnr paren*s to
lzelyt
their children
Teach your middle schooler
the many ways to show respect
.
We all want respect.
\I/hen someone respects
us, they act and speak in
a way that shows us we
are worthy. Our actions
and opinions are valid and important, even if the other person does
not always agree with them.
There are manyways to show
respect. Teach your middle schooler
that respect is:
. Believing in yourself. Respect
begins with self-respect. Act in
a way that does not leave you
disappointed in yourself.
. Controlling yourself. Outbursts
.
.
.
r
Are you helping
your child use her
learning style?
Realizing thatlearning is important. It is a way to better yourself.
Realizing thatyou have something to learn from almost every
person you meet.
Being on time. Ifyouwantto
show respect for someone, show
respect for their time.
Being someone others can trust.
Do what you sayyou will do.
Using learning sryles can
be critical for success
different ways?
_2.
Source: "(haracter Education," Legacy Educational
lesson_plans_cuniculum.htm.
"Parentswho are always
giving their children nothing but the best usually
wind up with nothing but
the worst."
example, an auditorylearner, who
learns best by hearing, could record
notes and then play them back.
_4. Do you suggest your child talk
to teachers about her learning style?
_ 5. Do you encourage your
child to use her learning style when
approaching projects and other tasks?
-Anonymous
Connect with your middle
schooler by sharing downtime
.
The most important
thing to remember about
"quality time" is that it's
notthe most important
thing. Instead, focus on
"quantity time." In other
words, commit to spending dovrntime with your child every day. It's
during those unplanned moments
that you'll catch glimpses of who he
really is. To build more "quantity
time" into your life:
. Make it a priority. Everyone's
busy, but your child must still
come first. Make time for family time every day. During those
hours, put away the cell phone,
log off the computer and be available to your child.
2 . Midd,e School . Far*$*s
r
Howwell areyou doing?
Mostlyyes answers mean you are
helping your child explore and
work with her learning style. For no
answers, try those ideas in the quiz.
Be creative. If a must-complete
chore is interfering with family
time, have your child pitch in.
He may not love the thought of
a marathon laundry session. But
if he gets to chat with you about
his day while you make your way
through piles of clothing, it might
sweeten the deal.
Relax Don't feel compelled to
constantly entertain your child.
You don't need to take him out
to lunch or go to the movies.lust
hang out together. That's what
"quantity time" is all about.
5ourre:
L. Ramirez,
parenting-child-development.com/parentin
sfr'ff rnske the
Practical Ideas for Parents to Help
Their Children. ISSN: I07l-51 lB
For subscription information call or wdte:
The Parent Institute@, 1 -800-756-5525,
P.O. BoxT 47 4, Fairfax Station, V A 22039 7 47 4. F a,x: I -800-2 16-3667.
Or visit: wr,lw.parent-institute.com.
Published monthly September through May
by The Parent Institute@, a division of NIS,
Inc:, an independent, private agency.
Equal opportunity employer.
Copyright @ 2011 NIS, Inc.
"Parenting Tips: Giving Your Children
the Gift of Iime," Parenting-(hild-Development.com,
differen{el
.
.Publisher: John H. Wherry, Ed.D.
Editor: Rebecca Miyares.
Writers: Maria Koklanaris & Holly Smith.
Illustrator: Joe Migneila.
www.
g-tips.html.
October 201
Haveyou askedyour child
how she learns best? Does she retain
information best if she hears it, sees
it or uses her hands to perform a task
relating to it?
_3. Have you given your child
tips for using her learning style? For
Resources, www.character-education.info/resources/
and rudeness are completely
disrespectful-both to the person
with you and to yourself.
Listening to and being polite to
persons in authority. This includes
teachers and parents.
in
school. Answeryes or no
to the questions belowto
see if you are helping your
child find and use her learning style:
_1. Have you talked to your child
about the fact that people learn in
1
ffit &Ww&Kww%K KKruw ffiww&re@*$&w&xwrc* Kwmwxry
lnvolvement in
middle school is
still essential
Middle school is not
just a big change for
your child. It is a big
change for you. That's
especially true if you
were actively involved
in your child's elementary school.
Things you might have done in
elementary school-reading in the
classroom, talking with the teacher,
sending in items from home-usually happen less often when a child
goes to middle school.
Now you'll need to take a different approach to help your child be
as successful as he can. Here's how:
. Tell your child that his education
is important. Say, "It's a high
priority for our family that our
children get a good education."
. Relate education to "real life."
Hundreds of jobs, from being a
cashier to being an engineer or
physicist, require some kind of
math knowledge.
. Have your child set realistic
goals every quarter. Include a
plan for reaching the goal.
. Encourage independence. If
your child can't find an answer,
encourage him to look in his
book or notes before asking you.
. Remind your child that you are
still paying attention. Get to
know his teachers. Have an idea
of what he is expected to do,
Assume a greater role any time
you see your child struggling.
Source: T. Sullivan, "New research on middle school parent
involvement," SchoolFamily.com, www.schoolfamily.com/
blog 12009 I 08 124I new+esearch-on-middle+chool-parent-
involvement.
4
.
$Widdle Se8tool
.
Research shows 10 important
benefits to parent involvement
Vou
take time to get to know
E your child's teachers. You give
your child tools for organization.
You go to school events. Do you
know what else you are doing?
You are sending an important
message to your middle schooler.
rvVhat you are saying is this: "Your
education is important. I want the
best for you. You are important."
Here are l0 more reasons to
be involved in your middle schooler's education. All are backed by
research. Students with involved
parents usually:
l. Do better with class work.
2. Have better attendance.
3. Feel that school is a place they
belong.
B. Care abouttheir grades.
9. Make good use of educational
time.
10. See a better
relationship
between parents and teachers.
4. Showbetter behavior at school.
5. Like school.
6. Finishhomework.
7. Want to go on to college or trade
5outce: V,A. Anfara, Jr. and 5.8. Mertens, "Varieties of
Parent lnvolvement in sch00ling," Middle 5chool Journal,
www.nmsa.org/publications/middleschooljournal/
articles/January2008/Artide8/ta
school.
bid/1 579/Defa ult.aspx.
Middle schoolers need their
parents to stay involved
.
Your child says parents
aren't needed at his
school. He even hints
that he doesn't really
want you there.
Go anyway!Middle schools do
need help from parents. And your
child needs you, whether he admits
it or not.
Middle school parents can:
. Help plan and organize school
events.
Farants sridf mcJ<e ffle dffferer{el
.
October 201
Chaperone field trips and other
school events.
Support teachers. Checkwith
your child's teachers to see if they
need help with anlthing.
The only thing worse for a middle
.
schooler than having everybody
looking at him, is to have everybody
Iooking at his parent. So if you see
him at school, don't give him a big
hug and kiss. A smile across the hall
is just about right.
1
Know the skills your child needs
to master reading assignments
Middle school requires
that your child read
more complex material.
This presents a challenge for many students.
Remember, reading does not come
naturally, but is a learned skill. That
means it can be improved with
practice.
You can help your child do better
with reading assignments if you:
. Encourage your child to read for
pleasure. The more your child
reads, the more she is able to read
smoothly and accurately. This is
calledJluency, which is an important step toward comprehension.
. Teach your child to read actively.
Looking at the words on the page
just isn't enough for many students. These students need to
engage other senses in order to
read well. They need to be doing
something. Taking not'es while
reading is the perfect activity. It's
best if your child studies her notes
after reading. But just the act of
taking notes often improves reading comprehension.
Focus on vocabulary. A big reason why middle school texts and
fictional works are more complex is that they introduce words
your child may not know. Tell
your child not to skip over words.
lVhen she comes across a word
she doesn't know, she should look
it up. Then she should write and
briefly study the deflnition.
.
5ourcer "Middle School Reading: lmproving Your Seventh and
Eighth Grade/s Reading Comprehension,"
Help for Kids,
a
Math and Reading
http://math-and-reading-help-for-kids.org/
rticles/Midd le_schoolreadingTo3A_l m provingarou r_seventh
and_eighth_gndero/027s_reading_romprehension.html.
Show your child how to make
better decisions with SODAS
Want your child to
become more responsible? Teach him good
decision-making skills
by encouraging him to
rely on the SODAS Method whenever he's faced with a dilemma.
Here's what it looks like:
S Situation. Your child can't make a
wise decision if the issue at hand
seems murky. So remind him to
define the situation clearly by
asking himself, "What's the main
thing I'm concerned about?"
O Options. VVhat are some ways
your child could handle the problem? Have him make a mental list.
Now narrow it do\ rn to the three
most sensible choices. This listmaking step is critical because it
illustrates that there's more than
one available option.
D Disadvantages. Have your child
think about the cons of each of his
top three ideas. If a certain option
has a particularly serious consequence, this is a good time to rule
A
S
out that option.
Advantages. Now askyour child
to figure out the pros of his top
choices. Are there major advantages to one option vs. the others?
Then that may be the winner.
Solution. Now that he's weighed
the pros and cons of each possible
option, your child can make his
decision with confidence.
Source: R. Burke, Ph.D. and others, Common
Sense
Smith,
-HollyInstitute
The Parent
Chlldren, Boys Town Pres.
.
A: This is a tricky call, and not just
for you. Chances are your child is
torn about the big night, too. On
one hand, Halloween is a beloved
childhood ritual filled with sweets
and silliness. On the other, it's
a concrete part of the "little kid
days" he's beginning to leave
behind (even if he's not ready to
abandon them outright).
To decide whether your child
should be allowed to trick-ortreat this year:
. Talk to him. Find out why
he wants to go. If he seems
genuinely enthusiastic about
getting dressed up and snagging lots of treats, then it may
be fine to let him indulge
again this year.
. Examine his motives. Is it
really all about costumes and
candy? Or does your child
seem more interested in the
"wandering around the neighborhood with friends after
dark" part of the evening? If
so, that could be a clue he's
outgrown trick- or-treating
and should probably stay in
the house-and away from
mischief-that night,
r Respect his stage of development.If your child still
gets an innocent thrill from
Halloween, don't mock
him for being immature.
Childhood passes quickly
enough; there's no reason to
rush him through it.
Parenting:
Using Your Heod osWell 0sYour Helft t0 Rlise School-Aged
October2Oll
Q: My seventh grader wants to
celebrate Halloween this year,
but I'm not sure whether to let
him. How old is too old to go
trick-or-treating?
Middle Schocl
.
PerentcsfilJrna${e tbe differerzce!
t
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